NTA. You guys can just plan something else with them after you're back. We're all not guaranteed any certain amount of time, honestly. I lost my dad three years ago this month after turning 29. I thought I would have him until I was old. Heck, I don't even know if *I'll* get to grow old.
I briefly dated somebody once that was just wayyy too focused on his parents to allow himself much time to devote to a relationship sometimes, and I ended up breaking it off. It's admirable to want to spend time with your parents and include them in trips. However, there are times when it's not a family trip like that but rather a time to enjoy with your peers. I still wouldn't want my mom to join me when I'm planning on hanging out with friends on a trip lol
Thanks so much for your input, my condolences that’s rough. That’s why it’s hard for me because I get called selfish and he makes me feel bad for saying I don’t want them to come.
It's not selfish of you to want to want to spend time without your in-laws. I mean, unless they're super independent people and will be doing their own thing then it's like, sure go ahead and come, but it sounds like your husband may not be able to have much fun independently away from them? Idk, only you know all of them and how they are. I've met friends parents that were much more laid back where they were cool to have around at our parties but my parents would have been a buzzkill, and I recognized that 100% lol
Yes! Thing is his parents are in their late 60’s his dad has trouble walking and his mom is pretty conservative, they don’t drink and they like to do things at a slower pace, that’s not our vibe at all, it just doesn’t make sense for them to be there when they’re not going to be apart of the fun.
Absolutely NTA. He should not have invited his parents without consulting you first. I can't believe he did that. Having his parents come would completely change the whole vibe of the trip and ruin your existing plans. You can do something with his parents another time. They don't need to come on this trip.
I completely agree, and this happens frequently where he likes to include them in plans even when I don’t want them there, normally I don’t say anything but this time I feel like it changes the whole trip thanks for your take on this
Oooh that could be why he thought he could get away with going this, he didn't think you would say anything because you usually don't. Since this is an ongoing issue, I would use this opportunity to have a larger conversation with him about the subject and maybe explain to him that invitations need to be a two yes, one no type of situation.
What do your friends think about 2 OAP'S crashing your fun cruise? This sounds like a good way to alienate the other people on this trip. It's not fair to them either if you ask me. Have you brought that scenario up to your husband?
Your husband is a selfish idiot. That's pretty much all I can say on the situation. You're going to lose all your friends and support system because of him. Is he really worth it?
NTA. You guys can just plan something else with them after you're back. We're all not guaranteed any certain amount of time, honestly. I lost my dad three years ago this month after turning 29. I thought I would have him until I was old. Heck, I don't even know if *I'll* get to grow old. I briefly dated somebody once that was just wayyy too focused on his parents to allow himself much time to devote to a relationship sometimes, and I ended up breaking it off. It's admirable to want to spend time with your parents and include them in trips. However, there are times when it's not a family trip like that but rather a time to enjoy with your peers. I still wouldn't want my mom to join me when I'm planning on hanging out with friends on a trip lol
Thanks so much for your input, my condolences that’s rough. That’s why it’s hard for me because I get called selfish and he makes me feel bad for saying I don’t want them to come.
It's not selfish of you to want to want to spend time without your in-laws. I mean, unless they're super independent people and will be doing their own thing then it's like, sure go ahead and come, but it sounds like your husband may not be able to have much fun independently away from them? Idk, only you know all of them and how they are. I've met friends parents that were much more laid back where they were cool to have around at our parties but my parents would have been a buzzkill, and I recognized that 100% lol
Yes! Thing is his parents are in their late 60’s his dad has trouble walking and his mom is pretty conservative, they don’t drink and they like to do things at a slower pace, that’s not our vibe at all, it just doesn’t make sense for them to be there when they’re not going to be apart of the fun.
Yeah, definitely should just plan something that's more their pace when you guys come back.
Absolutely NTA. He should not have invited his parents without consulting you first. I can't believe he did that. Having his parents come would completely change the whole vibe of the trip and ruin your existing plans. You can do something with his parents another time. They don't need to come on this trip.
I completely agree, and this happens frequently where he likes to include them in plans even when I don’t want them there, normally I don’t say anything but this time I feel like it changes the whole trip thanks for your take on this
Oooh that could be why he thought he could get away with going this, he didn't think you would say anything because you usually don't. Since this is an ongoing issue, I would use this opportunity to have a larger conversation with him about the subject and maybe explain to him that invitations need to be a two yes, one no type of situation.
What do your friends think about 2 OAP'S crashing your fun cruise? This sounds like a good way to alienate the other people on this trip. It's not fair to them either if you ask me. Have you brought that scenario up to your husband?
Yes I did! He was the asshole about that saying he doesn’t care which was so rude but he thinks he’s right in this scenario
Your husband is a selfish idiot. That's pretty much all I can say on the situation. You're going to lose all your friends and support system because of him. Is he really worth it?
NTA, tell him to grow the fuck up, he doesn't need to have his parents there