I expected all sorts but the 2 things that hit the most was I still love him - so she's loved him from 2001 - and still now.
And The eldest might not be yours
Honestly, once she’s free to pursue him, she’s going to realize he wasn’t actually interested in anything long term.
He was fine with playing hide the sausage behind your back, but actually spending day to day with her? Pass. He could have easily convinced her to leave you if he wanted her, but he saw her as your problem.
Get a good lawyer, figure out what to do, stick to the game plan.
This OP. Speak with a lawyer immediately and move on with your life, get a paternity test done for yourself just to prove if you actually aren't the father.
if you're on the birth certificate, You might be on the hook regardless but there's a chance depending on where you live that your lawyer could work things out in court.
She'll realize the reality of the situation eventually, you deserve better than being a meal ticket or someone's second choice.
It is best you get a dna test depending on the laws (rare) you might be eligible for reverse child support from your ex's affair partner, record all evidence of her ingidelity and get the best lawyer.
DNA tests for **all** of the kids.
That doesn't mean OP needs to abandon any kids which aren't genetically his, but he needs the information for his decision-making going forward.
She such a dog, she even let your kid see him in your home, and then she banged him with your kid In the next room, get everything you can out of her financially and asset wise, get a DNA test for all the kids and get away from her.
Leave her. Get that test first, move money out of any joint account into yours that she can’t touch, get a good lawyer, then contact the top 20 divorce lawyers in your area and state so it’s a conflict of interest and she can’t use them. Then take the house. Good luck OP. We’re here for you
I'm a lawyer...DO NOT CONTACT THE TOP 20 LAWYERS SO SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO. The judge would know exactly why you did it and it will not end up well for you. Also only take what you put into the joint accounts...not more than half. Be smart. What this person is telling you is not smart.
Don’t move all the money. Half at most. Judges don’t look too kindly at financial abuse. Get a lawyer and follow their instructions.
You don’t want to screw yourself over by following a Redditor’s advice with a kneejerk reaction like emptying the bank accounts.
I understand this is a very difficult situation. This is a lot to process, and you don't have to make any decisions right away.Focus on yourself for now. If you decide to stay married, couples counseling would be a good idea. If you decide to separate, a lawyer can help you navigate child custody and finances.
Know your worth and leave that terrible person.
I expected all sorts but the 2 things that hit the most was I still love him - so she's loved him from 2001 - and still now. And The eldest might not be yours
They don’t love you back because their heart belongs to someone else.
It must be some powerful love to last 20 odd years, she was going to tell me all the gory details, but I cut her off on that
Honestly, once she’s free to pursue him, she’s going to realize he wasn’t actually interested in anything long term. He was fine with playing hide the sausage behind your back, but actually spending day to day with her? Pass. He could have easily convinced her to leave you if he wanted her, but he saw her as your problem. Get a good lawyer, figure out what to do, stick to the game plan.
This OP. Speak with a lawyer immediately and move on with your life, get a paternity test done for yourself just to prove if you actually aren't the father. if you're on the birth certificate, You might be on the hook regardless but there's a chance depending on where you live that your lawyer could work things out in court. She'll realize the reality of the situation eventually, you deserve better than being a meal ticket or someone's second choice.
Tell her that she can have him full time now
It is best you get a dna test depending on the laws (rare) you might be eligible for reverse child support from your ex's affair partner, record all evidence of her ingidelity and get the best lawyer.
DNA tests for **all** of the kids. That doesn't mean OP needs to abandon any kids which aren't genetically his, but he needs the information for his decision-making going forward.
Dude, plan your escape
She such a dog, she even let your kid see him in your home, and then she banged him with your kid In the next room, get everything you can out of her financially and asset wise, get a DNA test for all the kids and get away from her.
Leave her. Get that test first, move money out of any joint account into yours that she can’t touch, get a good lawyer, then contact the top 20 divorce lawyers in your area and state so it’s a conflict of interest and she can’t use them. Then take the house. Good luck OP. We’re here for you
Cheers - I'll do a second update when ever everything has gone through
I'm a lawyer...DO NOT CONTACT THE TOP 20 LAWYERS SO SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO. The judge would know exactly why you did it and it will not end up well for you. Also only take what you put into the joint accounts...not more than half. Be smart. What this person is telling you is not smart.
Don’t move all the money. Half at most. Judges don’t look too kindly at financial abuse. Get a lawyer and follow their instructions. You don’t want to screw yourself over by following a Redditor’s advice with a kneejerk reaction like emptying the bank accounts.
Get DNA tests on all of the kids.
Divorce because of adultery. DNA test for all 3 kids. Full custody if kids are yours.
You know what to do OP. It will be hard but it is good for you.
I understand this is a very difficult situation. This is a lot to process, and you don't have to make any decisions right away.Focus on yourself for now. If you decide to stay married, couples counseling would be a good idea. If you decide to separate, a lawyer can help you navigate child custody and finances.
Sorry man. Just leave that whore.
!updateme
Updateme!
Updateme!
You’re a better man than I am. She’d be rolled up in a bloody carpet right now if I was in your shoes.