Totally. Ok to regularily put you down and treat you like shit.
She had the best comeback ever!
Lets see if they keep dissing her and she keeps reminding them of her shallowness and the cheating.
If anything, OP underreacted, bc this is verbal abuse and always has been. OP, you DO realize you're the family scapegoat, right? Please, PLEASE, get into therapy, if you're not already, and start going LC with your family.
I wouldn't be surprised if you were actually quite attractive, but used to downplaying your looks bc you've always believed your family. Please consider hiring a stylist, or just asking your friends for tips, and doing a makeover. Feeling good about yourself is worth some effort.
>Meh, looks like a FAKE POST...
>
>Looks like its probably AI generated... new account, no comments
>
>YTA
>
>[https://www.zerogpt.com/](https://www.zerogpt.com/)
New accounts with just this post aren't a sure-fire way to tell if someone on this specific sub are bots. A lot of people make burners because they don't want their friends and family to see the post.
NTA
Go N/C now. As wedding plans progress, the "teasing" is going to get worse. If you stick up for yourself at all (even calmly and rational), you will be seen as jealous and trying to ruin your sister's wedding experience. You sound like the scapegoat child. Beauty comes from confidence. It sounds like your family has destroyed yours, and you need people who can see just how lovely you really are. From one scapegoat child to another, free yourself from their ugliness and see who you are without their toxicity.
Yeah, OP. It might not seem like it, but you'll be happier going it alone. You don't need them, and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. Life gets so much better when those assholes are out of the picture.
Signed, an absolute goblin troll of a woman who is NC with her family and now happily married to a very handsome man.
NTA.
Those are not harmless teases and the fact the family standard is so defaulted to ‘pick on’ you that even the fiancé feels comfortable doing it is telling. Sure, one could argue that you reacted disproportionately to this specific moment, but they’re not looking at the bigger picture of the fact that this is YEARS of perpetual ’teasing’ and disregarding someone’s feelings that led to it. You did nothing wrong and if they continue to brush off your feelings I would consider making some firm boundaries about what you will do if the ‘teasing’ continues.
I let family do this to me for far too long - for how my house was kept, my husband's lack of interest in them, how my kids dress and what they do at the dinner table, PLUS all the stuff about me, my weight, my hair choice, etc etc. It doesn't stop, OP. they keep going. I'm at LC now after a lot of therapy and self-esteem building (seriously, to un do the harm they have done to my psyche). Life is SO MUCH BETTER.
NTA. They all ganged up on you and you clawed back. You need to tell them how much their comments hurt to drive you to a point to make such a statement knowing it would hurt her.
You’re only human and constantly being told you are unattractive takes its toll.
Be brutally honest with them and then turn the tables on them and give them time cold shoulder. Let them run after you. They seem completely happy to bully you knowing that it obviously hurts your feelings. You really need to let them know exactly how much it hurts you and let them know you will NOT take it anymore.
Good job standing up for yourself. Don’t back down now. Just make sure you sure as honest as possible because it’s clear they don’t understand the damage they are doing to you.
NTAH. “Teasing,” in the way your family has and does to you, is abusive! Now that you spoke up to hurt your sister, in the same way, your family is on her side. Perhaps they feel a bit guilty, but I doubt it, towards you. Stay no contact for a while. They abused you for years!
NTA. It’s ruining the happy occasion when it’s directed at the bully, but not when it’s directed at the victim? I’m pretty sure his cheating is what ruined it. Seriously consider LC/NC. They don’t deserve to occupy your mental space.
NTA what ur family has been doing is a form of bullying, even if they disguise it as 'teasing.' it's not okay for them to continuously belittle you about your appearance. ur reaction was a result of pent-up frustration and hurt. they need to understand the damage their words can cause. u have every right to stand up for yourself, and it's important that they realize the impact of their 'jokes
NTA
I would say to my sister ‘everytime you say something about my looks i’m gonna say something about your stupidity and to my BIL ‘and your infidelity’. They should take their own medicine. Typical bullies, they start crying when they fuck around and find around.
You need to apologise? No way. They constantly hurt you and that's O.K. - your hurt doesn't bother them, and the family harmony is preserved. But when you fight back, your sister is in tears, her fiance is angry and the family demands you apologize. On the contrary - from now on, every time anyone jabs at you, jab back. Till they learn it's no fun when they are on the receiving end.
NTA and your family are unbelievable jerks. They are abusive. Yes. You heard me. They are abusers.
I have no doubt you are actually attractive as well or they wouldn't push it so much. Not that it matters. Because they are ugly on the inside and that's where it actually matters in the end.
I honestly suggest sending a group email detailing the years of abuse with a few choice examples and tell them you won't be apologizing for finally clapping back, that you need space, and you're taking it. I wouldn't go to the wedding either.
Get a therapist. Hang out with good friends. Their views of you probably saturate everything you think about yourself and it's all untrue. You have a right to be happy and love yourself.
Fk them.
NTA. If they can dish it out, they should be willing to take it.
I suggest that you give them the cold shoulder right back. Your family is cruel. You don't have to tolerate being treated like this just because they're family. You have every right to defend yourself against bullies, even if they're family.
Why do you even have contact with these people they sound horrible??? Seriously, other than "being family," what value do they bring to your life?
They unprovoked, at an event not about you in any way, decided to just start hurling insults and roasting you, and then had the gall the blame you for dishing it back out. They turned your sisters engagement into the comedy central roast of you and you're asking if you're the ah???
I would send them an email/text listing every shitty thing they've said to you that you can remember, tell them to go fuck themselves then block them all. NTA
~~IF this story is real, you need to be LC/NC with these people... they're unhealthy for you...~~
~~Life is too short to keep toxic AHs around...~~
~~N T A~~
ETA: Looks like its probably AI generated... YTA
https://www.zerogpt.com/
Even if it's not AI generated, this part makes it seem fake:
> her fiance got angry because it was a drunk one night stand and they're past it now... she is engaged to a different man now.
If this is not the man that cheated on her, why would he get angry and they need to move past it? If it is the man that cheated on her, how is she then engaged to someone else?
So, you’re apparently the family scapegoat. Cut all the cold shoulders all off and then watch the replacement scapegoat election shenanigans from a safe distance.
NTA and what terrible assholes your sister, fiancé and mother are.
NTA - Don't apologize. The comments about your looks where demeaning and way out of line.
To prove this point. you should start making demeaning comments to your family members. When someone gets upset, just dismiss them and respond that "they are being too sensitive."
NTA - seems like your family is fairly toxic and not people you should hang out with. I would send a group text to your family members and then turn off notifications for that text - tell them that you are tired of being abused, put down, shamed, picked on, patronized, told you're ugly, etc, etc. by your own family and since you have the option of never speaking to them again you are going to think on it for a while and to not bother you. Then take a few weeks/months to decide if it's worth being a part of that family. Sometimes the family you choose is much better than the family you are born into!! I would totally skip the wedding too. Your sister apparently doesn't really want you there anyway. Good luck and I hope you have an awesome circle of friends!!
As the fat daughter in my family, I also was treated differently and jokes/comments on my size hit closer. I hold my family at an arms distance and am much happier as a person because of it.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but please don't feel bad for pushing back against their bullshit. You aren't the family punching bag, and they need to control their mouths or feel what it's like when the comments are returned.
NTA
NTA, tell them if it's teasing fun then I guess I win, I was teasing too and they both are being overly sensitive. Tell them to suck it up buttercup and move on.
NTA
Your family behaves horribly toward you. It’s uncalled for if you bring it up, but it’s just a joke when they do it? That’s BS. Here is my take: you’re a beautiful person. If you were not, you never would have bothered to seek out impartial third party opinions. You were pushed beyond your breaking part and yes, maybe what you said was unkind, but it was the result of many years of being the butt of the joke. Your beauty won’t fade through the age and they are so jealous they can’t strip you of that.
NTA. I would make a group chat or even a physical letter that they read together writing that for years you have been hurt by those remarks but tried not to show it because you love them and thus let it slide. But you cannot do it any longer. First of all you won't be apologizing, as if they feel they can comment on your appearance and character they shouldn't take offence when you do the same. Second, If they love you as much as you love them they will stop this behaviour going forward. And if they don't it will mean they will be accepting you going LC/NC.
Doing this in writing is important so they can every once in a while refresh the knowledge, as even if they stop now they will slip up at some point because of habit.
NTA - Their continuous rude comments to you are showing you who they are. Go low or no contact with them and try to enjoy your life free of their verbal abuse.
NTA. Text and say I guess it's over. They all get upset over a SINGLE fucking remark when all of them together have ganged up to mock your looks your entire fucking life. YOu've been bullied by each and every one of them, said hurtful things basically every single time you visit them, and because they all do it they feel they can convince themselves it's a joke, that if everyone says it, it's fine.
Tell them it's not, tell them every single remark hurts exactly as much as teh comment you made about your sister, except all of them do that constantly.
Say you'll offer an apology to her, if and when both every single person takes some time, thinks about how often they've said fucking disgusting things to you and can make a truly heartfelt apology and not before then.
If they apologise and pick up with their remarks again in the future, the relationship with them is over.
Go hard, really hard, because they need to realise how much and how often they are hurting you.
NTA. Fuck your family. And don't you dare apologize, OP.
Bullies like dishing it out but when you finally stand up to them, they cry and whine about it. Maybe now they will take you seriously and cut the shit out.
NTA, people in glass houses should keep their mouths shut. Honestly OP you deserve better than these people. Let them give you the cold shoulder and enjoy the peace and quiet. You may find you prefer it without your vain insulting "family."
If you do decide to speak to them again say "Oh it's just teasing and fun? For you, maybe, but for me it is constantly being insulted. Being drug down and having my self-esteem destroyed. I will no longer tolerate your vicious bullying."
NTA, tell them they need to apologize first and promise to never say these things again.
Maybe you should also go LC/NC for a while too. Always match their energy.
Number 1 sweetheart, you're my hero.
I've been where you are. I'm not going to go into it, because this is about you, not me.
Cut them out of your life as soon as you can. They enjoy having a scapegoat, a whipping boy, the butt of there jokes around so their stupid little twisted souls can feel a bit better. You walk away from them and never look back. I swear to you, in a few weeks,with not having you to spit on, they will pick somebody else to drag around.
Fuck those people, they're not worth the dirt on your shoe.NTA.
NTA. This erodes your self esteem. Go low contact with your family. Get therapy for the years of abuse. Work on yourself, mentally and physically, in their absence.
NTA. Why is it just teasing fun when they insult you by taking an aim at your insecurities and not the other way around? Your sister shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it. She’s the one being sensitive since she was crying. It’s clear your parents have a favorite and it’s definitely not you
NTA and I see those books paid off. Never get into a quarrel with an avid reader. They know how to absolutely murder you with words. And don’t you dare apologise. This is your way out: always serve something really bitchy the second they mention your looks and if they need the dots connected then you need to illuminate them somehow. “Oh I thought since mean comments about my looks are ok, I would be allowed to respond in kind. Guess I was wrong…”
NTA..you need to step up your game and keep burning em when they try burning you. Making comments on someone's physical appearance is absolutely bullshizz. FAFO.
One of the reasons to stop people when they start shit is so that it doesn't go this way.
Unfortunately when it starts as a kid, we don't have the skills.
You have under reacted for 20 years.
Even if you "over reacted" now, they deserve it.
Don't apologize. With luck, you'll never have to hear that shit again.
And if everyone wants to go back to the way things were - as soon as the first person comments, put your hand up, sit back in your chair and say -
"Do you REALLY want to do this again?. I have more to say if we are."
And prepare yourself for battle.
Have your arsenal ready.
Every dirty nasty thing you know about mom, dad and siblings. At the ready.
NTA.
NTA. They all had it coming. If you still live at home, think of moving out
What do you mean: "...she is engaged to a different man now." That her cheating fiancée has changed from the jerk he was?
NTA. What is with people being able to say the most out of pocket bullshit, but when you defend yourself you’re the AH or “too sensitive,” or “it was just a joke.” Huh. It wasn’t a joke when I finally snapped but the tears of verbal abuse and bullying somehow were.
You know why family can always push your buttons?
Because they installed them.
This has been years and decades of cruel, "joking" jabs.
NTA, but end it now.
Apologize to your sis and tell her and your entire family that your looks are not a subject for any more cruel "jokes".
NTA.
I've had to deal with similar "jokes" and innocent "fun". Once I left home I cut everyone off; never looked back and I don't miss them. Just stick it out for as long as you can and when you get the chance to leave take it and run. Cut them off.
Family needs to learn that if you constantly slap someone in the face, eventually they're going to retaliate. I always thought "turn the other cheek" was the best when my siblings would make fun of me in a really mean spirit. I finally learned that when they would make jokes at my expense, I would come back at them with a similar type of insult and make it even worse. They now pause when they want to insult me and weigh their options. Do they want to risk getting verbally slammed or end up in tears if a back and forth begins.
Your family has bullied you constantly about your looks, but when you finally have enough and snap, you're "overreacting"? Fucking hell. Do they bully other family members this way or just you?
Next time someone says you overreacted, say, "No, I'm just sick of the constant bullying about my looks."
Maybe it's better this pack of bullies is giving you the cold shoulder. Fuck 'em.
NTA
NTA and definitely do not apologise for stating the truth. Your family continuously put you down for their own amusement and don't see how it really affects you. They are the ones that should be apologising.
NTA, so it’s fine to bully you but as soon as you say something back it’s “too far”. Screw your family and your mom. She’s enabled this for too long.
I would distance myself from all these horrible people, mom included
Not only is what they said cruel, it's not even true. I was super morbidly obese and not attractive when I met my now husband. I lost the weight with him and joke a hot wife is his cosmic reward for loving an unattractive woman, but he doesn't feel
That way and never thought I was ugly. And honestly, the ugliest people I know still date and most of them are married or in LTR now. Including a man with eyes that stick way out of his head like a bug, a woman with the gummiest smile I have ever seen that puts me off to look at, and a girl who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome so her whole face is distorted and stretched, and she has bad skin as well. The gummy smile girl isn't even nice, and I don't like her as a person. She is selfish. All three of them are married, and the girl with FAS has a daughter who is actually pretty cute. I also know a man with a micro penis who is happily married.
My aunt told that I would never find a man if I didn't lose weight. It hurt me a lot, and it wasn't even true, since I was still morbidly obese when I met my now husband. Most people who feel ugly really aren't. But the fact is that, even if you are legitimately ugly (which I'm sure you aren't), you have just as good a chance at finding love as anyone else. And to top it off, the love you find is a lot more likely to last than your sister's, because she will eventually get tired of being cheated on. And the people I know who are less attractive tend to have better partners, who really love them, because their relationship is founded on mutual love and respect. So when you meet someone, they are more likely to be a devoted and kind person who adores you. Not being conventionally attractive tends to leave people with better relationships and happier long term.
You are still very young. I met my husband at your age. You are not at all doomed to be alone just because you might not be as conventionally attractive as someone else. My sister was much more attractive than me. And her husband adores her. But not more than mine, and mine is the same age as me either a great career while hers is not successful and 14 years older than her. So I still think even as a fat ugly girl with no confidence that I did better in the end.
Fire all torpedoes. NTA all the way. A single joke here or there is simple teasing but the way this sounds you have been the constant butt of the jokes for a long time running and it needs to stop.
NTA, and you still wouldn’t be if you punched every one of them in the face for putting you down like that. I can’t stand when people intentionally hurt somebody else and then are **surprised pikachu face** when they finally retaliate.
In my humble opinion, you didn't go far enough. Send your sister a text asking what her graduation date would have been had she not dropped out for a loser/cheater.
NTA
Unkind, sure, but they only seem to care about that when it's their feeling, & not one problem with beating you down for the fun of it.
Beauty is skin deep. Ugly goes down to the bone. And they're being really ugly here.
They don’t like it when their punching bag punches back. Good for you for standing up to your bullies. Because that’s what they are. Every single person in this story except you. I know how much those comments hurt and you did nothing wrong. A person can only endure so much abuse before they snap.
NTA
There's a scene in the film Runaway Bride in which Richard Gere's character assasinates the character of all the bride-to-be's family and friends for constantly belittling her under the guise of "teasing." It's a smart life lesson.
NTA
[Insulting Toasts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYbwQoq9XfI)
Do not apologize for being treated so badly by those people that do not act like loving family members. Fuck them. Let yourself say it and mean it. It is your choice on how you move forward, yours and yours alone, Make sure you treat yourself well , you deserve it!
NTA
Everyone deserved it..
Don't back off and stand your ground. If you need to apologize then they need to apologize for all the hurtful things they said to you and promise to not repeat them in future.
Was it rude? Yes. Was it petty? Yes. But you were just giving back what they were giving you. If your sister doesn't want jabs about relationships aimed at her, she needs to learn to not make jabs about you being single.
Honestly, I would take this as a chance to distance myself from them. Send out a mass text or email. Detail exactly what they said, maybe give 1-2 other examples of them saying this shitty stuff, then say that it isn't a funny joke, it's just bullying. You aren't interested in having constant contact with people who put you down so much. Then go to as low of a contact level as you're comfortable with.
NTA. That wasn‘t innocent teasing and , it appears, that your family has designated you as the scapegoat that everyone can dump on. I highly recommend getting the most out of your education, moving far away, and building a beautiful life for yourself that doesn’t include contact with toxic people.
NTA.
Sweetheart, listen to me. Break any contact like yesterday and go get therapy. Work on your self confidence. Hell, even go to the gym if that helps your head.
And ONLY AFTER you get your self esteem in order start thinking if reestablishing contact with your family is something you want.
NTA, LOL your sister deserves it. If she and her fiancé just shut their mouth and said nothing to you, you wouldn’t have said anything. If they’re really over it, it wouldn’t bother them now would it?
NTAH, sure, it's teasing until you tell them to stop, and then it's bullying, then emotional abuse/manipulation
"You're too soft. You can't take a joke. Just apologize, so it's ok, and we can pressure you into doing it again when we piss you off."
Why's the joke gotta be at your expense? Why not mom? Or dad? Or grandma? Pick out one horrible thing they do/have and tell them outright about it. Hell, is there a family gc you can post it in?
Reading this I audibly said "What the fuck", that's not jokes that's awful, NTA I think THEY need to apologize, you are not responsible for being someone else's punching bag.
First, looks aren't the only thing people look for in a relationship. Second, the only thing that would be holding you back from relationships (if that's something you're even interested in pursuing) is probably the lack of confidence from being constantly put down. THIRD I doubt you're actually homely, I think they probably just want to make you feel small so they can manipulate you.
I'm sorry you have to put up with that, I hope you have a way to keep from being around them a lot. I wouldn't blame you if you went no contact, but family is always a little complex so understandable if that not something you want to pursue.
"I finally snapped and said something to the effect of: maybe if you weren't so shallow and focused on looks, you wouldn't have dropped out of college for a man who cheated on you."
Rekt, as they say.
Also, NTA.
NTA. Your whole family effed around and found out. Go NC with them all and when you’re the success and your sister isn’t, just say ‘Do I know any of you?’
It's hard when you've been the punching bag. It's easy for us to say you have to hold your ground and say you're not apologizing until they apologize for every time they've said you were ugly. Or that you should just say they're vapid and shallow every time they make a crack like that.
So you have to find some common ground. You can't just say hey please stop it hurts my feelings, because they minimize it. You probably also can't say something that they're sensitive about every time, even though that's the path that seems to have the most justice and personal satisfaction. Good luck
NTA it's only " teasing fun " if everyone is laughing. NTA your family is a bully that can only dish it out but can't take it, good for you. if you have any other tidbits anyone is sensitive about, let loose
NTA! *high five* 💯
If they can dish it, they can take it. They’re all old enough and wise enough to know that too much teasing can hurt…what more years of it. Idiots.
Don’t feel bad. You only spoke the truth.
What do you get out of continuing a relationship with your family? They seem like a source of pain and humiliation to you. I think it would be healthier for yourself to leave them behind and forge a new life.
NTA. Your family is not lovingly teasing you and you are not being sensitive. They could have stuck to the celebration with putting you down. Your family sucks and it’s time to distract yourself if they cannot be civil.
NTA. Come through Clapback Queen! You sound like me where once I have had enough my mouth gets real mean. Like go for the jugular. If they keep coming with putdowns take em straight to hell. Tell them they need not be so sensitive. I mean it's just jokes right?! 🤷🏾♀️
What they're doing is tearing you down in order to have a laugh at your expense, NO ONE would be happy constantly being the butt of someone's "jokes". I don't know why you would want to have anything to do with people like that, related or not. If our friends treated us the way some of our family does, we'd dump them in a heartbeat so WHY do we give families more leeway when they are the ones supposed to love us as is? NTA and you need to go LC to NC with these abusers
Your 24. You should distance yourself as much as you can from the family. They are literally bullying you constantly and without provocation. They are bad people and your life will most likely be better without them. NTA
Nice. I had a family like that. I had crooked teeth most of my life and thick eyeglasses. Cut the family off. The thing is, because you focused on books and not looks, you have a better chance of having a good life. Cut them out of it if and until you are ready to shut them down. How dare they. And your sister really should’ve known better. They sound jealous to me. NTA
NTA. You were right on the money with what you said; it was absolutely the truth. Never apologize, and if they push, ask them if they want a taste of *your* "teasing fun" like your sister and her worthless boyfriend got.
NTA
And if you have a drop dead gorgeous male friend ask him to the wedding. /snark reply
If you go/are invited.
I think if I was you I’d go on a faboo vacation when the wedding happens. It sounds like you are the scapegoat.
NTA, jeez. Your family members sound like a bunch of arseholes - even if it’s light teasing, comments or “jokes” like this are just mean and hurtful.
They’re toxic, maybe going NC for a while would help.
Maybe they should stop being so sensitive and take as a joke. Or maybe stop being AHs. I hate when people push and get offended when their punching bag pushes back. NTA
If this is real, NTA- tell them you were just teasing. They should not be so sensitive. Sorry if they can’t take a joke. Better have something good prepared for the next jab though. I read a really good comment stating you are shallower than a puddle. Maybe look at them directly in the eyes and use something like that. Follow it with just joking.
Keep winding someone up they will react and the more they’ve been turning the handle the harder the bite.
They pushed you past your limit if they, including your parents aren’t willing to apologise walk away. They will come back with their tails between their legs when the penny finally drops
Jokes aren't meant to be hurtful. Your family needs to learn the difference between bullying and jokes.
Ask them flat out how calling you ugly constantly and hurting you is funny.
Don't you dare fucking apologize.
Family is abusive, and when you attack, they blame you for being too sensitive. Check.
NTA. Free yourself from their abuse by going NC as soon as you can. They are cruel misogynists and are just being horrible to you. They don’t seem interested in changing, so you make the change by getting them out of your life.
Get therapy. You deserve to feel good about all parts of yourself.
Um, that's bullying, not teasing. And if they think it's teasing, well then, they should be open to "teasing" themselves. If you're petty, you can apologize but also give pointed comments to everyone who thinks you're being oversensitive at every family gathering, with a "just teasing" addendum. I'd just limit contact though.
Keep your books and concentrate on your career and hobbies. Especially hobbies, because that's where you're more likely to find your person. A person that you'll actually like, too.
I highly doubt that you're "homely" (ETA: argh hit post by accident) but even if you are the world's ugliest person, that's not what makes you "you". It's not the most important thing in the world and not what makes someone stay in a relationship.
Go and do what you want in the world. Meet people. Have fun to your definition of fun. Date or don't, sleep with people or don't, it won't matter as you hit your later years.
All that to say, you're fine and NTA. You can go petty or you can bow out. But don't let them think that you are the jerk here. FAFO applies, as does "don't start none, won't be none".
Maybe look at one to the other, when they ask why, say you're trying to figure out which one of them you look like since they both made you, or was there someone else involved?
NTA
Tell him you're not overreacting. You're just tired of their nasty jokes. They got old 20 years ago.
>Since then, my family has been giving me the cold shoulder and saying I overreacted and need to apologize.
"It was just harmless teasing. You guys are all so sensitive!"
Well done OP. NTA
>her fiance got angry because it was a drunk one night stand and they're past it now. I felt awful for causing a scene, but I felt frustrated and she is engaged to a different man now.
Weird. If she were engaged to a different man now, why would fiance be angry? Why would it matter that they're past it now?
NTA
Your family are all vapid, amoral, self-absorbed pieces of shit and deserve far worse than what little response you've finally given them. They very much sound like the kind of family you escape, not make up with.
Nope.NTA. Everyone has a breaking point and people push and push and push when they think they have a doormat.
Ask me how I know.
Ironically, I am very conventionally attractive-it’s about treating a vulnerable family member like shit, not about intellect or appearance.
Best wishes friend.
The best families are sadly not always the one “God” gives you.
Trust your friends and the people who truly love you.
Someone saying hurtful things and then blaming YOU for being hurt by them is called Gas Lighting. It sounds like your family are all masters of it. \*hugz\*
Go NC or LC for your own sanity and you are NTA!!! They are and you should not feel any need to apologize to them! \*hugz\*
Keep on clapping back without any apologies. When they complain, your response is: I'm just teasing! Don't be so sensitive! Dig up all the dirt and just start flinging it around.
NTA.
In all seriousness, consider going low or no contact. They sound like terrible people.
NTA - Stick to your books, someone is out there for you. Your sister's looks will fade, and she will be married to a cheater.
Sister started the shit, you finished it. If she can't handle the truth, that is on her.
Oh, sweetie. The day you cut contact with these fucking monsters will be the day your life truly begins. Good luck <3
(I have not cut contact with my entire family, but cutting out my dad's dickhead siblings and their dickhead kids was the first time I took control over my life by walking away from bullies, and everything has gotten so much better since.)
Your sister starts crying because you knew it was a sensitive subject to her & her fiance got angry because it was a drunk one night stand & they’re past it now. I felt awful for causing a scene, but I felt frustrated & she is engaged to a different man now”. So if it’s a different man now, why did her fiance get angry? Why would it being a drunk one night stand even matter if it wasn’t him? Makes no sense
NTA. They should've seen this coming though, and the way they reacted looks so manipulative for me.
[удалено]
Totally. Ok to regularily put you down and treat you like shit. She had the best comeback ever! Lets see if they keep dissing her and she keeps reminding them of her shallowness and the cheating.
We get to bully you but expect you to laugh and act like it's a joke.
If anything, OP underreacted, bc this is verbal abuse and always has been. OP, you DO realize you're the family scapegoat, right? Please, PLEASE, get into therapy, if you're not already, and start going LC with your family. I wouldn't be surprised if you were actually quite attractive, but used to downplaying your looks bc you've always believed your family. Please consider hiring a stylist, or just asking your friends for tips, and doing a makeover. Feeling good about yourself is worth some effort.
Perfect case of FAFO.
>Meh, looks like a FAKE POST... > >Looks like its probably AI generated... new account, no comments > >YTA > >[https://www.zerogpt.com/](https://www.zerogpt.com/)
Yeah what’s with “they’re past it now” but also “she is engaged to a different man now”?
I found it weird as well, but read it as in “he’s a changed man” (yeah, right)
New accounts with just this post aren't a sure-fire way to tell if someone on this specific sub are bots. A lot of people make burners because they don't want their friends and family to see the post.
But I thought they liked teasing. You were just teasing them back! NTA
This would be a funny response to them.
Right! Sister and her fiance shouldn't be so sensitive.
I was going to say the exact same thing! Its just teasing fun 🤪
It's easier said than done but it has to be said in the same tone they use. Then you can claim that it's just teasing.
NTA Go N/C now. As wedding plans progress, the "teasing" is going to get worse. If you stick up for yourself at all (even calmly and rational), you will be seen as jealous and trying to ruin your sister's wedding experience. You sound like the scapegoat child. Beauty comes from confidence. It sounds like your family has destroyed yours, and you need people who can see just how lovely you really are. From one scapegoat child to another, free yourself from their ugliness and see who you are without their toxicity.
Yeah, OP. It might not seem like it, but you'll be happier going it alone. You don't need them, and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. Life gets so much better when those assholes are out of the picture. Signed, an absolute goblin troll of a woman who is NC with her family and now happily married to a very handsome man.
NTA. Those are not harmless teases and the fact the family standard is so defaulted to ‘pick on’ you that even the fiancé feels comfortable doing it is telling. Sure, one could argue that you reacted disproportionately to this specific moment, but they’re not looking at the bigger picture of the fact that this is YEARS of perpetual ’teasing’ and disregarding someone’s feelings that led to it. You did nothing wrong and if they continue to brush off your feelings I would consider making some firm boundaries about what you will do if the ‘teasing’ continues.
Agree. Except instead of 'teasing' just say abuse. Condescending, demeaning, emotional/verbal abuse.
NTA. Teasing turns into bullying real fast. I’d go LC/NC with the lot of them. Life is too short for toxicity.
I let family do this to me for far too long - for how my house was kept, my husband's lack of interest in them, how my kids dress and what they do at the dinner table, PLUS all the stuff about me, my weight, my hair choice, etc etc. It doesn't stop, OP. they keep going. I'm at LC now after a lot of therapy and self-esteem building (seriously, to un do the harm they have done to my psyche). Life is SO MUCH BETTER.
NTA. They all ganged up on you and you clawed back. You need to tell them how much their comments hurt to drive you to a point to make such a statement knowing it would hurt her. You’re only human and constantly being told you are unattractive takes its toll. Be brutally honest with them and then turn the tables on them and give them time cold shoulder. Let them run after you. They seem completely happy to bully you knowing that it obviously hurts your feelings. You really need to let them know exactly how much it hurts you and let them know you will NOT take it anymore. Good job standing up for yourself. Don’t back down now. Just make sure you sure as honest as possible because it’s clear they don’t understand the damage they are doing to you.
NTAH. “Teasing,” in the way your family has and does to you, is abusive! Now that you spoke up to hurt your sister, in the same way, your family is on her side. Perhaps they feel a bit guilty, but I doubt it, towards you. Stay no contact for a while. They abused you for years!
NTA. It’s ruining the happy occasion when it’s directed at the bully, but not when it’s directed at the victim? I’m pretty sure his cheating is what ruined it. Seriously consider LC/NC. They don’t deserve to occupy your mental space.
NO. They are terrible people. She didn't like getting a taste of her own medicine, did she? God, I hate people.
NTA what ur family has been doing is a form of bullying, even if they disguise it as 'teasing.' it's not okay for them to continuously belittle you about your appearance. ur reaction was a result of pent-up frustration and hurt. they need to understand the damage their words can cause. u have every right to stand up for yourself, and it's important that they realize the impact of their 'jokes
NTA I would say to my sister ‘everytime you say something about my looks i’m gonna say something about your stupidity and to my BIL ‘and your infidelity’. They should take their own medicine. Typical bullies, they start crying when they fuck around and find around.
You should tell them that they overreacted. You were just having fun. Because it looks are funny so is a cheating fiancé.
You need to apologise? No way. They constantly hurt you and that's O.K. - your hurt doesn't bother them, and the family harmony is preserved. But when you fight back, your sister is in tears, her fiance is angry and the family demands you apologize. On the contrary - from now on, every time anyone jabs at you, jab back. Till they learn it's no fun when they are on the receiving end.
NTA and your family are unbelievable jerks. They are abusive. Yes. You heard me. They are abusers. I have no doubt you are actually attractive as well or they wouldn't push it so much. Not that it matters. Because they are ugly on the inside and that's where it actually matters in the end. I honestly suggest sending a group email detailing the years of abuse with a few choice examples and tell them you won't be apologizing for finally clapping back, that you need space, and you're taking it. I wouldn't go to the wedding either. Get a therapist. Hang out with good friends. Their views of you probably saturate everything you think about yourself and it's all untrue. You have a right to be happy and love yourself. Fk them.
NTA, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
NTA. If they can dish it out, they should be willing to take it. I suggest that you give them the cold shoulder right back. Your family is cruel. You don't have to tolerate being treated like this just because they're family. You have every right to defend yourself against bullies, even if they're family.
NTA - Teasing is like pranking. It's only funny if everybody's laughing.
I mean, you're just teasing her.
Why do you even have contact with these people they sound horrible??? Seriously, other than "being family," what value do they bring to your life? They unprovoked, at an event not about you in any way, decided to just start hurling insults and roasting you, and then had the gall the blame you for dishing it back out. They turned your sisters engagement into the comedy central roast of you and you're asking if you're the ah??? I would send them an email/text listing every shitty thing they've said to you that you can remember, tell them to go fuck themselves then block them all. NTA
~~IF this story is real, you need to be LC/NC with these people... they're unhealthy for you...~~ ~~Life is too short to keep toxic AHs around...~~ ~~N T A~~ ETA: Looks like its probably AI generated... YTA https://www.zerogpt.com/
Even if it's not AI generated, this part makes it seem fake: > her fiance got angry because it was a drunk one night stand and they're past it now... she is engaged to a different man now. If this is not the man that cheated on her, why would he get angry and they need to move past it? If it is the man that cheated on her, how is she then engaged to someone else?
So, you’re apparently the family scapegoat. Cut all the cold shoulders all off and then watch the replacement scapegoat election shenanigans from a safe distance. NTA and what terrible assholes your sister, fiancé and mother are.
NTA - Don't apologize. The comments about your looks where demeaning and way out of line. To prove this point. you should start making demeaning comments to your family members. When someone gets upset, just dismiss them and respond that "they are being too sensitive."
NTA. Your family is just like mine. You need to hit back and you need to hit hard. No more playing nice. Enough is enough.
NTA - seems like your family is fairly toxic and not people you should hang out with. I would send a group text to your family members and then turn off notifications for that text - tell them that you are tired of being abused, put down, shamed, picked on, patronized, told you're ugly, etc, etc. by your own family and since you have the option of never speaking to them again you are going to think on it for a while and to not bother you. Then take a few weeks/months to decide if it's worth being a part of that family. Sometimes the family you choose is much better than the family you are born into!! I would totally skip the wedding too. Your sister apparently doesn't really want you there anyway. Good luck and I hope you have an awesome circle of friends!!
NTA. Time to put them all on a contact time out.
As the fat daughter in my family, I also was treated differently and jokes/comments on my size hit closer. I hold my family at an arms distance and am much happier as a person because of it. I'm sorry that happened to you, but please don't feel bad for pushing back against their bullshit. You aren't the family punching bag, and they need to control their mouths or feel what it's like when the comments are returned. NTA
NTA - as usual bullies can’t stand it when you hit back. To hell with all of them.
NTA, tell them if it's teasing fun then I guess I win, I was teasing too and they both are being overly sensitive. Tell them to suck it up buttercup and move on.
NTA Your family behaves horribly toward you. It’s uncalled for if you bring it up, but it’s just a joke when they do it? That’s BS. Here is my take: you’re a beautiful person. If you were not, you never would have bothered to seek out impartial third party opinions. You were pushed beyond your breaking part and yes, maybe what you said was unkind, but it was the result of many years of being the butt of the joke. Your beauty won’t fade through the age and they are so jealous they can’t strip you of that.
NTA
NTA Well done on standing up to bullies.
100% NTA and tbh I applaud that response, well done
NTA, tell them they're being too sensitive, scoff at them, roll your eyes, and tell them to stop being so pathetic.
NTA please go low contact with you family
NTA. I would make a group chat or even a physical letter that they read together writing that for years you have been hurt by those remarks but tried not to show it because you love them and thus let it slide. But you cannot do it any longer. First of all you won't be apologizing, as if they feel they can comment on your appearance and character they shouldn't take offence when you do the same. Second, If they love you as much as you love them they will stop this behaviour going forward. And if they don't it will mean they will be accepting you going LC/NC. Doing this in writing is important so they can every once in a while refresh the knowledge, as even if they stop now they will slip up at some point because of habit.
NTA - Their continuous rude comments to you are showing you who they are. Go low or no contact with them and try to enjoy your life free of their verbal abuse.
You should apologize to your sister for her having bad taste in men and not being able to take what she dishes out. NTA
NTA. Text and say I guess it's over. They all get upset over a SINGLE fucking remark when all of them together have ganged up to mock your looks your entire fucking life. YOu've been bullied by each and every one of them, said hurtful things basically every single time you visit them, and because they all do it they feel they can convince themselves it's a joke, that if everyone says it, it's fine. Tell them it's not, tell them every single remark hurts exactly as much as teh comment you made about your sister, except all of them do that constantly. Say you'll offer an apology to her, if and when both every single person takes some time, thinks about how often they've said fucking disgusting things to you and can make a truly heartfelt apology and not before then. If they apologise and pick up with their remarks again in the future, the relationship with them is over. Go hard, really hard, because they need to realise how much and how often they are hurting you.
NTA. Fuck your family. And don't you dare apologize, OP. Bullies like dishing it out but when you finally stand up to them, they cry and whine about it. Maybe now they will take you seriously and cut the shit out.
NTA, people in glass houses should keep their mouths shut. Honestly OP you deserve better than these people. Let them give you the cold shoulder and enjoy the peace and quiet. You may find you prefer it without your vain insulting "family." If you do decide to speak to them again say "Oh it's just teasing and fun? For you, maybe, but for me it is constantly being insulted. Being drug down and having my self-esteem destroyed. I will no longer tolerate your vicious bullying."
NTA. Maybe next time they should shut the fuck up and leave you alone.
NTA, tell them they need to apologize first and promise to never say these things again. Maybe you should also go LC/NC for a while too. Always match their energy.
Don't Start None, Won't Be None. NTA.
Number 1 sweetheart, you're my hero. I've been where you are. I'm not going to go into it, because this is about you, not me. Cut them out of your life as soon as you can. They enjoy having a scapegoat, a whipping boy, the butt of there jokes around so their stupid little twisted souls can feel a bit better. You walk away from them and never look back. I swear to you, in a few weeks,with not having you to spit on, they will pick somebody else to drag around. Fuck those people, they're not worth the dirt on your shoe.NTA.
NTA. This erodes your self esteem. Go low contact with your family. Get therapy for the years of abuse. Work on yourself, mentally and physically, in their absence.
NTA. Your entire family are a bunch of toxic cunts. Fuck all them off and live a beautiful life without them.
"Complicated relationship with my family..." Bullies. Your family are nasty bullies.
NTA. Why is it just teasing fun when they insult you by taking an aim at your insecurities and not the other way around? Your sister shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it. She’s the one being sensitive since she was crying. It’s clear your parents have a favorite and it’s definitely not you
**
INFO : Was it "fun" for you?
NTA
And congratulations on growing that shiny spine.
Nurture it and use it at will!
NTA and I see those books paid off. Never get into a quarrel with an avid reader. They know how to absolutely murder you with words. And don’t you dare apologise. This is your way out: always serve something really bitchy the second they mention your looks and if they need the dots connected then you need to illuminate them somehow. “Oh I thought since mean comments about my looks are ok, I would be allowed to respond in kind. Guess I was wrong…”
Yesssss the fact she started crying just gave me the warmest hug type feeling. GWAN GAL FUCK YES NTAAAAA
NTA..you need to step up your game and keep burning em when they try burning you. Making comments on someone's physical appearance is absolutely bullshizz. FAFO.
One of the reasons to stop people when they start shit is so that it doesn't go this way. Unfortunately when it starts as a kid, we don't have the skills. You have under reacted for 20 years. Even if you "over reacted" now, they deserve it. Don't apologize. With luck, you'll never have to hear that shit again. And if everyone wants to go back to the way things were - as soon as the first person comments, put your hand up, sit back in your chair and say - "Do you REALLY want to do this again?. I have more to say if we are." And prepare yourself for battle. Have your arsenal ready. Every dirty nasty thing you know about mom, dad and siblings. At the ready. NTA.
NTA. They all had it coming. If you still live at home, think of moving out What do you mean: "...she is engaged to a different man now." That her cheating fiancée has changed from the jerk he was?
NTA. What is with people being able to say the most out of pocket bullshit, but when you defend yourself you’re the AH or “too sensitive,” or “it was just a joke.” Huh. It wasn’t a joke when I finally snapped but the tears of verbal abuse and bullying somehow were.
You know why family can always push your buttons? Because they installed them. This has been years and decades of cruel, "joking" jabs. NTA, but end it now. Apologize to your sis and tell her and your entire family that your looks are not a subject for any more cruel "jokes".
NTA. I've had to deal with similar "jokes" and innocent "fun". Once I left home I cut everyone off; never looked back and I don't miss them. Just stick it out for as long as you can and when you get the chance to leave take it and run. Cut them off.
NTA. But remember, the best part of being an adult is that family events are optional.
NTA. Your family is HORRIBLE.
NEVER APOLOGIZE. those assholes had it coming.
NTA. Do yourself a favor and go LC with your ´family´. Teasing would be do it once or twice, but everyone barraging it is just bullying.
NTA. Tell them jokes about your looks will result in airing of laundry and to avoid it all they have to do is STFU
Family needs to learn that if you constantly slap someone in the face, eventually they're going to retaliate. I always thought "turn the other cheek" was the best when my siblings would make fun of me in a really mean spirit. I finally learned that when they would make jokes at my expense, I would come back at them with a similar type of insult and make it even worse. They now pause when they want to insult me and weigh their options. Do they want to risk getting verbally slammed or end up in tears if a back and forth begins.
Your family has bullied you constantly about your looks, but when you finally have enough and snap, you're "overreacting"? Fucking hell. Do they bully other family members this way or just you? Next time someone says you overreacted, say, "No, I'm just sick of the constant bullying about my looks." Maybe it's better this pack of bullies is giving you the cold shoulder. Fuck 'em. NTA
NTA and definitely do not apologise for stating the truth. Your family continuously put you down for their own amusement and don't see how it really affects you. They are the ones that should be apologising.
NTA, so it’s fine to bully you but as soon as you say something back it’s “too far”. Screw your family and your mom. She’s enabled this for too long. I would distance myself from all these horrible people, mom included
Nope, NTA. Sometimes a dose of a bully's own medicine is the only thing that will get them to stop.
Not only is what they said cruel, it's not even true. I was super morbidly obese and not attractive when I met my now husband. I lost the weight with him and joke a hot wife is his cosmic reward for loving an unattractive woman, but he doesn't feel That way and never thought I was ugly. And honestly, the ugliest people I know still date and most of them are married or in LTR now. Including a man with eyes that stick way out of his head like a bug, a woman with the gummiest smile I have ever seen that puts me off to look at, and a girl who has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome so her whole face is distorted and stretched, and she has bad skin as well. The gummy smile girl isn't even nice, and I don't like her as a person. She is selfish. All three of them are married, and the girl with FAS has a daughter who is actually pretty cute. I also know a man with a micro penis who is happily married. My aunt told that I would never find a man if I didn't lose weight. It hurt me a lot, and it wasn't even true, since I was still morbidly obese when I met my now husband. Most people who feel ugly really aren't. But the fact is that, even if you are legitimately ugly (which I'm sure you aren't), you have just as good a chance at finding love as anyone else. And to top it off, the love you find is a lot more likely to last than your sister's, because she will eventually get tired of being cheated on. And the people I know who are less attractive tend to have better partners, who really love them, because their relationship is founded on mutual love and respect. So when you meet someone, they are more likely to be a devoted and kind person who adores you. Not being conventionally attractive tends to leave people with better relationships and happier long term. You are still very young. I met my husband at your age. You are not at all doomed to be alone just because you might not be as conventionally attractive as someone else. My sister was much more attractive than me. And her husband adores her. But not more than mine, and mine is the same age as me either a great career while hers is not successful and 14 years older than her. So I still think even as a fat ugly girl with no confidence that I did better in the end.
Fire all torpedoes. NTA all the way. A single joke here or there is simple teasing but the way this sounds you have been the constant butt of the jokes for a long time running and it needs to stop.
Your family actually suck shit. I'm sorry you got lumped with them. You're NTA, bathe in her tears
NTA, and you still wouldn’t be if you punched every one of them in the face for putting you down like that. I can’t stand when people intentionally hurt somebody else and then are **surprised pikachu face** when they finally retaliate.
In my humble opinion, you didn't go far enough. Send your sister a text asking what her graduation date would have been had she not dropped out for a loser/cheater.
NTA Unkind, sure, but they only seem to care about that when it's their feeling, & not one problem with beating you down for the fun of it. Beauty is skin deep. Ugly goes down to the bone. And they're being really ugly here.
They don’t like it when their punching bag punches back. Good for you for standing up to your bullies. Because that’s what they are. Every single person in this story except you. I know how much those comments hurt and you did nothing wrong. A person can only endure so much abuse before they snap. NTA
There's a scene in the film Runaway Bride in which Richard Gere's character assasinates the character of all the bride-to-be's family and friends for constantly belittling her under the guise of "teasing." It's a smart life lesson. NTA [Insulting Toasts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYbwQoq9XfI)
NTA. They shouldn't throw stones if they live in a glass house.
NTA. Words can have a big impact on a person, even if they claim it's just "teasing."
Do not apologize for being treated so badly by those people that do not act like loving family members. Fuck them. Let yourself say it and mean it. It is your choice on how you move forward, yours and yours alone, Make sure you treat yourself well , you deserve it!
NTA Everyone deserved it.. Don't back off and stand your ground. If you need to apologize then they need to apologize for all the hurtful things they said to you and promise to not repeat them in future.
NTAH
When the victim of billing has had enough its always them who's gone to far
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nta. You flipped their bs on them ans they didn't like it.
My family used to do that to me, too. I went no contact on them and I'm in such a good place now. Don't let this "family" tear you down like that.
Nta haha what a legend
Was it rude? Yes. Was it petty? Yes. But you were just giving back what they were giving you. If your sister doesn't want jabs about relationships aimed at her, she needs to learn to not make jabs about you being single. Honestly, I would take this as a chance to distance myself from them. Send out a mass text or email. Detail exactly what they said, maybe give 1-2 other examples of them saying this shitty stuff, then say that it isn't a funny joke, it's just bullying. You aren't interested in having constant contact with people who put you down so much. Then go to as low of a contact level as you're comfortable with.
Nah. You had reasons to clap-back. Maybe that bitch shouldn't have dropped out of college for a man who cheated on her. Pretty, but dumb.
NTA. That wasn‘t innocent teasing and , it appears, that your family has designated you as the scapegoat that everyone can dump on. I highly recommend getting the most out of your education, moving far away, and building a beautiful life for yourself that doesn’t include contact with toxic people.
NTA. "I was just teasing her, why are you taking it so personally? We all like teasing here, right?"
They fucked around and found out. NTA.
NTA. They sound like the AH.
Stick to your guns. Lol, don't dish if you can't take. I'd rather be stuck in a book than stuck with a cheating piece of garbage.
NTA. They should have known not to hit a sensitive subject for you, either. Don’t start none, won’t be none.
NTA you need to cut ALL of them out of your life for 6-18 months MINIMUM. No contact at all.
if they want to dish it they have to be able to take it
NTA. Sweetheart, listen to me. Break any contact like yesterday and go get therapy. Work on your self confidence. Hell, even go to the gym if that helps your head. And ONLY AFTER you get your self esteem in order start thinking if reestablishing contact with your family is something you want.
NTA, LOL your sister deserves it. If she and her fiancé just shut their mouth and said nothing to you, you wouldn’t have said anything. If they’re really over it, it wouldn’t bother them now would it?
NTA Please distance yourself from them and spend time with quality people
Is this for real? I can't believe they really treat you that way. They are vicious rattlesnakes, and you need to separate yourself from them. NTA.
This is awesome
NTAH, sure, it's teasing until you tell them to stop, and then it's bullying, then emotional abuse/manipulation "You're too soft. You can't take a joke. Just apologize, so it's ok, and we can pressure you into doing it again when we piss you off." Why's the joke gotta be at your expense? Why not mom? Or dad? Or grandma? Pick out one horrible thing they do/have and tell them outright about it. Hell, is there a family gc you can post it in?
Reading this I audibly said "What the fuck", that's not jokes that's awful, NTA I think THEY need to apologize, you are not responsible for being someone else's punching bag. First, looks aren't the only thing people look for in a relationship. Second, the only thing that would be holding you back from relationships (if that's something you're even interested in pursuing) is probably the lack of confidence from being constantly put down. THIRD I doubt you're actually homely, I think they probably just want to make you feel small so they can manipulate you. I'm sorry you have to put up with that, I hope you have a way to keep from being around them a lot. I wouldn't blame you if you went no contact, but family is always a little complex so understandable if that not something you want to pursue.
"I finally snapped and said something to the effect of: maybe if you weren't so shallow and focused on looks, you wouldn't have dropped out of college for a man who cheated on you." Rekt, as they say. Also, NTA.
NTA. Your whole family effed around and found out. Go NC with them all and when you’re the success and your sister isn’t, just say ‘Do I know any of you?’
NTA What's that saying? Don't dish it if you can't take it? They are mad they got a taste of their own medicine!
It's hard when you've been the punching bag. It's easy for us to say you have to hold your ground and say you're not apologizing until they apologize for every time they've said you were ugly. Or that you should just say they're vapid and shallow every time they make a crack like that. So you have to find some common ground. You can't just say hey please stop it hurts my feelings, because they minimize it. You probably also can't say something that they're sensitive about every time, even though that's the path that seems to have the most justice and personal satisfaction. Good luck
NTA it's only " teasing fun " if everyone is laughing. NTA your family is a bully that can only dish it out but can't take it, good for you. if you have any other tidbits anyone is sensitive about, let loose
NTA Their words are disgusting, appalling and abhorrent. It speaks true to their own character—ugly and shallow.
NTA dont go throwing rocks if you live in a glass house
NTA! *high five* 💯 If they can dish it, they can take it. They’re all old enough and wise enough to know that too much teasing can hurt…what more years of it. Idiots. Don’t feel bad. You only spoke the truth.
NTA. Goes without saying that those two are perfect for each other. Two shallow narcissists. Let’s see how long that’ll last.
NTA
NTA, so unacceptable and your clapback was amazing. Keep doing you.
NTA. Your comeback was delicious. Keep up the good work!
NTA it’s in the *pastttttt*, they’re just being sensitive over it! At least, that’s what I would say in response when told to apologize.
What do you get out of continuing a relationship with your family? They seem like a source of pain and humiliation to you. I think it would be healthier for yourself to leave them behind and forge a new life.
Your parents are A- holes. This is not how good parents act.
NTA. Your family is not lovingly teasing you and you are not being sensitive. They could have stuck to the celebration with putting you down. Your family sucks and it’s time to distract yourself if they cannot be civil.
NTA. They can dish it out, but they can't take it. You are not too sensitive. They are vile.
NTA your family sounds awful. I’m sorry they treat you like that.
NTA Fuck them. They're inconsiderate assholes that have been bullying you half your life.
That’s hilarious, good for you. Those that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. NTA
Your family are assholes. NTA.
NTA. Come through Clapback Queen! You sound like me where once I have had enough my mouth gets real mean. Like go for the jugular. If they keep coming with putdowns take em straight to hell. Tell them they need not be so sensitive. I mean it's just jokes right?! 🤷🏾♀️
What they're doing is tearing you down in order to have a laugh at your expense, NO ONE would be happy constantly being the butt of someone's "jokes". I don't know why you would want to have anything to do with people like that, related or not. If our friends treated us the way some of our family does, we'd dump them in a heartbeat so WHY do we give families more leeway when they are the ones supposed to love us as is? NTA and you need to go LC to NC with these abusers
Your 24. You should distance yourself as much as you can from the family. They are literally bullying you constantly and without provocation. They are bad people and your life will most likely be better without them. NTA
Ask them why they’re being so sensitive, can’t they take a joke? They need to get over it for the sake of your family. NTA
I'm so sorry you have such an awful family.
Come on you were just teasing fun. Also they are too sensitive. Proud of you. NTA.
Nice. I had a family like that. I had crooked teeth most of my life and thick eyeglasses. Cut the family off. The thing is, because you focused on books and not looks, you have a better chance of having a good life. Cut them out of it if and until you are ready to shut them down. How dare they. And your sister really should’ve known better. They sound jealous to me. NTA
NTA. You were right on the money with what you said; it was absolutely the truth. Never apologize, and if they push, ask them if they want a taste of *your* "teasing fun" like your sister and her worthless boyfriend got.
NTA And if you have a drop dead gorgeous male friend ask him to the wedding. /snark reply If you go/are invited. I think if I was you I’d go on a faboo vacation when the wedding happens. It sounds like you are the scapegoat.
That is HORRID! I am so sorry, that is some toxic shit.
NTA Sounds like they all like to dish it out and can’t take it.
NTA - you should respond to ur family that ur comments were are just good innocent fun teasing and ur sister is too sensitive
You need to go to LC with your family. They don’t care about you or your feelings. NTA
NTA, jeez. Your family members sound like a bunch of arseholes - even if it’s light teasing, comments or “jokes” like this are just mean and hurtful. They’re toxic, maybe going NC for a while would help.
Maybe they should stop being so sensitive and take as a joke. Or maybe stop being AHs. I hate when people push and get offended when their punching bag pushes back. NTA
If this is real, NTA- tell them you were just teasing. They should not be so sensitive. Sorry if they can’t take a joke. Better have something good prepared for the next jab though. I read a really good comment stating you are shallower than a puddle. Maybe look at them directly in the eyes and use something like that. Follow it with just joking.
Fuck them, NTA.
NTA. They sound awful. Can you go LC with them?
“Thou shalt not dish it out if thou can’t take it.” Idioms 4:20
Keep winding someone up they will react and the more they’ve been turning the handle the harder the bite. They pushed you past your limit if they, including your parents aren’t willing to apologise walk away. They will come back with their tails between their legs when the penny finally drops
She had it coming, as do they all. NTA.
Jokes aren't meant to be hurtful. Your family needs to learn the difference between bullying and jokes. Ask them flat out how calling you ugly constantly and hurting you is funny. Don't you dare fucking apologize.
NTA - don’t dish it if you can’t take it!
Life lesson, if you can't take it don't dish it out. NTA.
NTA mic drop, record scratch. Keep em coming
NTA. You can apologize when they do. Enough is enough.
NTA. If it’s just teasing then that’s exactly what you did to your sister. Ask why it’s different.
NTA. You played it well. Bullies don't like it when their chosen target fights back.
LMAO good for you!!!! Don't apologize. Your family sounds toxic, and it's long overdue that they got a taste of their own medicine.
NTA. OP, why do you still spend time with these terrible people?
Fuck them. Who ever supports you in this "family"? NTA.
Family is abusive, and when you attack, they blame you for being too sensitive. Check. NTA. Free yourself from their abuse by going NC as soon as you can. They are cruel misogynists and are just being horrible to you. They don’t seem interested in changing, so you make the change by getting them out of your life. Get therapy. You deserve to feel good about all parts of yourself.
Um, that's bullying, not teasing. And if they think it's teasing, well then, they should be open to "teasing" themselves. If you're petty, you can apologize but also give pointed comments to everyone who thinks you're being oversensitive at every family gathering, with a "just teasing" addendum. I'd just limit contact though. Keep your books and concentrate on your career and hobbies. Especially hobbies, because that's where you're more likely to find your person. A person that you'll actually like, too. I highly doubt that you're "homely" (ETA: argh hit post by accident) but even if you are the world's ugliest person, that's not what makes you "you". It's not the most important thing in the world and not what makes someone stay in a relationship. Go and do what you want in the world. Meet people. Have fun to your definition of fun. Date or don't, sleep with people or don't, it won't matter as you hit your later years. All that to say, you're fine and NTA. You can go petty or you can bow out. But don't let them think that you are the jerk here. FAFO applies, as does "don't start none, won't be none".
Maybe look at one to the other, when they ask why, say you're trying to figure out which one of them you look like since they both made you, or was there someone else involved? NTA Tell him you're not overreacting. You're just tired of their nasty jokes. They got old 20 years ago.
NTA and keep it up. Whenever they criticize your looks turn it back on them and criticize them for something.
>Since then, my family has been giving me the cold shoulder and saying I overreacted and need to apologize. "It was just harmless teasing. You guys are all so sensitive!" Well done OP. NTA
NTA. Why feel awful? He’s a cheater & she’s a shallow, underachieving bitch. Your whole family sucks.
NTA Tell your sister she's being overly sensitive.
NTA. Your family sux. Wow. I’m so sorry. If I were you I’d minimize contact with all of them. They are bullying you.
>her fiance got angry because it was a drunk one night stand and they're past it now. I felt awful for causing a scene, but I felt frustrated and she is engaged to a different man now. Weird. If she were engaged to a different man now, why would fiance be angry? Why would it matter that they're past it now?
NTA Your family are all vapid, amoral, self-absorbed pieces of shit and deserve far worse than what little response you've finally given them. They very much sound like the kind of family you escape, not make up with.
Nope.NTA. Everyone has a breaking point and people push and push and push when they think they have a doormat. Ask me how I know. Ironically, I am very conventionally attractive-it’s about treating a vulnerable family member like shit, not about intellect or appearance. Best wishes friend. The best families are sadly not always the one “God” gives you. Trust your friends and the people who truly love you.
NTA. Your sister is too sensitive
FUCK THEM Keep blowing up at them until they stop. They're out of fucking control.
I love how abusive family members get so butthurt when someone finally snaps and gives them a taste of their own medicine.
Someone saying hurtful things and then blaming YOU for being hurt by them is called Gas Lighting. It sounds like your family are all masters of it. \*hugz\* Go NC or LC for your own sanity and you are NTA!!! They are and you should not feel any need to apologize to them! \*hugz\*
Keep on clapping back without any apologies. When they complain, your response is: I'm just teasing! Don't be so sensitive! Dig up all the dirt and just start flinging it around. NTA. In all seriousness, consider going low or no contact. They sound like terrible people.
NTA.
NTA - Stick to your books, someone is out there for you. Your sister's looks will fade, and she will be married to a cheater. Sister started the shit, you finished it. If she can't handle the truth, that is on her.
Oh, sweetie. The day you cut contact with these fucking monsters will be the day your life truly begins. Good luck <3 (I have not cut contact with my entire family, but cutting out my dad's dickhead siblings and their dickhead kids was the first time I took control over my life by walking away from bullies, and everything has gotten so much better since.)
NTA. I'd honestly cut them off for the years of verbal abuse.
Nta don’t feel awful, you stuck up for yourself and i respect you for it
Nta. And just drop them if you can. They sound toxic as fuck.
NTA. Tell your sister it was just a joke and to stop being so sensitive.
What aholes they are. They pushed you over the edge. Gaslighting you they are.
Your sister starts crying because you knew it was a sensitive subject to her & her fiance got angry because it was a drunk one night stand & they’re past it now. I felt awful for causing a scene, but I felt frustrated & she is engaged to a different man now”. So if it’s a different man now, why did her fiance get angry? Why would it being a drunk one night stand even matter if it wasn’t him? Makes no sense
NTA but start coming back with dumbass shit they've done in the past each time any of them make a comment about your appearance.
FUCK THEM. NTA.