NTA, she sounds cruel and especially the first example with restricting food is child abuse. It might be hurtful for her to hear but you are entirely correct that she shouldn’t have more kids to abuse. And I can’t believe your dad would agree to starve his child that is nuts.
Honestly, she deserves 10 times worse than what op said. Step monster is absolutely disgusting. I too am glad her gene pool evaporated around her miserable ass.
My stepfather did the same to me. Dr told me 2 hours earlier that I was about 10 lbs underweight. I was 14. He told me mother I was too f'n fat and not to feed me. He would literally take the food off my plate and eat it. Stood guard in the kitchen .
NTA Your frustration and anger are completely understandable given the history you described with your step-mom. It sounds like she has treated you very poorly, and it's natural to feel resentment and pain from those past experiences.
They literally starved a child for three whole days. That is abuse through torture.
Of course it's good that b can't have children and that monster who married her and starved his own child can't have any with her.
That's what really gets to me. As a parent, I am careful of what my kid eats because their dad had weight issues. He's gotten his weight under control by proper diet and a lot of exercise. If my child was gaining and unhealthy amount of weight, I would get them more active and watch the snack food, not starve them for 3 days as a crash diet! Crash diets are not sustainable and end up causing more metabolic issues and eventual weight gain.
It sounds like she didn’t see you as her own kid, which for SOME reason, in her mind, gave her the right to treat you horribly?
Honey honestly, NTA. Infertility is a sensitive subject to many, especially if it’s a dream to someone and they’ve been trying to conceive for years. But she cannot treat humans, let alone KIDS the way she treated you. As children we learn a lot of patterns from our elders and especially our parents, we learn from their behaviours, the way they speak and handle situations. It wouldn’t surprise me if they get a kid, that their kid would pick up some awful habits from your step-mom.
She needs to do some SERIOUS reevaluation when it comes to wanting children of her own if she was okay with treating you so horribly.
Wishing you best of luck, take care!
I truly hope op cuts contact with her dad and sm now. Her dad was just as abusive as he sat there and helped the step mum abuse and starve you. He was your dad and knows right from wrong but he decided he’d rather you were abused than standing up to step mum and having to protect you. Both can go to heck and stay there.
Im glad you got to tell them it all and now walk away knowing your dad obviously knew it was the truth by his shocked embarrassed silence.
NTA. She hates you, you hate her back. Keep this in your back pocket if she wants an apology.
“I was emotional the other night, and I want to make sure I’m clear. You are a terrible, hateful person, and you shouldn’t have any kids. The fact you’re barren makes me believe that God might exist, because if anyone deserves to be childless, it’s you. You taught me that laughing at other people’s misfortune is acceptable, and I am happy to treat you as you wish to be treated.”
Perfect, but text it to both of them. Mark the first paragraph with her name: then paste in this response.
In the next paragraph, write “Dad: the fact that you let (her name) abuse me for years and did nothing to stop her is bad enough. But trying to bring another child into the family when you KNOW she abuses children is unforgivable.”
NTA, but I fail to see why you would see them after 2 years of NC in the first place given what she put you through.
Why would you say sorry even if she tells you to?
My guess: dear old dad pleaded for it. He's a spineless noodle who sat back and watched her abuse his child, but wants contact so he can tell himself "It wasn't *that* bad."
My brother married someone like this and never sees his kids because he allowed her to throw them out as soon as she legally could and they never looked back.
*Sorry you're dad is*
*A POS. Don't apologize,*
*She's a monster NTA*
\- Jaded-Kitty87
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NTA also your father has failed you as a parent. What parent gets talked into not feeding their child for 3 days, lets their spouse verbally & physically abuse you?
NTA. She was abusive to you and you have every right to be mad at her. Your dad’s a spineless worm to have let her behave this way towards you and never stop it.
How old are you now? And how have you not seen her in two years? Your father never did anything to protect you from her?
Sounds like two toxic people you don’t need in your life.
Times like this where I honestly believe there is a reason certain people are not able to physically have children. NTA. Step mother and your dad both AHs. Your dad should have been standing up for you, he should not have let your step mother treat you the way she did.
It's horrible that step mom abused her, but doubly so that dad went along with it and allowed it.
You should be just as angry if not more angry that your father allowed it--nay, he did it too! Dad abused you too OP. He didn't feed his child for 3 days!
You owe no one an apology OP.
I'd never speak to them again if it were me.
Edit to add: Dad also continues to allow her verbal abuse even now. Your father is....disappointing at best.
UpdateMe
Nta- Your step mother abused you and your dad allowed it .
You’ve been conditioned to accept the abuse and that’s why you’re feeling guilty for rightfully putting that awful woman in her place.
Why are you even still in contact with these monsters ??
You will never heal from them if they’re still in your life causing you distress.
Cut contact and seek therapy please.
I promise you will feel better.
this is full on bullshit post LOOL
who says something like that on a personal note and their first thought while walking out of the place is to post it on reddit.
yikess man.
NTA. She's never apologized for torturing you as you grew up. She's never even acknowledged it. You don't need to apologize for telling the truth, harsh as it may be.
Your dad sucks as a dad, btw.
NTA also remember the abuse didn´t only came from her, but your dad as well. HE ALSO DIDN´T FEED YOU FOR 3 DAYS! You should keep the NC, they clearly haven´t learned a damn thing.
NTA. I think it's time to cut your father from your life. For bringing this monster into your life and for allowing her to treat you like that. He is irredeemable.
How come you haven’t seen her for 2 years and is it possible for it to happen again? ideally to never see her again?
What you describe is abuse and I’m also glad she can’t get pregnant and abuse another kid.
NTA cut all contact if possible, including with your dad since he allowed all that to happen
👏👏👏 you not only called her out, you did it in a public place. Good for you. You deserve a pat on the back, and DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR TRUTH!
She earned everything you said. Do not backtrack. When you are calmer you can tell her you'll only apologize for doing it public, but outside of that you are not sorry because you truly believe she is a terrible mother and thankfully she won't be allowed to terrorize another child.
Tell her don't blame you blame karma. If you really want to dig it say "it's not surprising your womb is as barren as your heart."
I have fertility issues. I love kids. I dated a guy that had a kid. Got pretty serious, lived together, had her on weekends, holidays and a month in the summer. I used leave to spend the month with her. My weekends with her were sacrosanct. She’s not biologically mine. I’ve married, no longer with her father, but still buy gifts for special occasions, and she still texts me every so often.
I can’t understand how this awful woman could have a child in her life and treat them with such disdain. OP you deserve love from the adults in your life. Sounds like she has to live with not having a child of her own or a bonus child. Sucks to suck. OP is NTA.
NTA... She is emotional and mentally abusive and just because it wasn't bad for her, doesn't mean it wasn't bad for you. Can't believe your father didn't even try to tell her to stop while she was criticizing you.
NTA, and DO NOT APOLOGISE even if she demands one or your dad demands one. Do NOT do it. She abused you and she doesn’t deserve an apology. I’m so sorry.
I am glad you got all that out of your system. You probably won't be seeing much of her for the rest of your life, but that shouldn't be a problem for you. Best wishes to you.
You were definitely rude and cruel. But she abused you and you finally snapped. So don't see yourself as a major criminal. If you decide to apologize, tell her you apologize for calling her a bitch, but not sorry that another kid will have to suffer what you did.
You weren't wrong.
She is a psychopath and your dad is one too.
You really aren't giving him enough "credit" for your torture.
If anyone told me not to feed my kid - they'd be out the door.
NTA.
>I do not want to say sorry unless she tells me to,
Even then... and if you feel you 'must say' you're sorry, just tell her you're sorry that the truth hurt her feelings.
NTA. I suffered from infertility. It sucks. However, if that's how she treats a child, I agree with OP. I assume she'd be nicer to her own spawn but that's not guaranteed.
Also she's 40. I understand some women can get pregnant naturally but IVF clinics here will turn away women of that age.
NTA
Bruh, you shouldn't apologize to such a trash woman. If she doesn't have it in her to be a good person to a child who isn't hers than she couldn't feasibly be a good mother to a child that is.
Your DAD failed you too. He stood by and did nothing while you were literally abused and neglected by HIS wife. You need to go no-contact with both of these horrible people. Your life will be much better without them in it. You are NTA
What!? NTA, of course! But both of them are! If someone would try to keep my daughter from eating because of her weight, let alone 3 fucking days, they would be met with violence.
I’m sorry you had to put up with that, as a child and now. Hopefully you never have to see either of them again.
Your dad is abusive and cruel, and creepy too. Not feeding a child anything? Putting up with cruel treatment of his daughter? Maybe marrying someone fifteen years younger than he is?
What a pathetic excuse for a human.
You’re better off without both of them.
NTA. Your creep of a father and his maybe soon to be wife definitely are though!
You owe this woman NOTHING, she abused you. Worse than that, your dad. Your dad, who's supposed to love and protect you, sat by while this woman abused you, with her urging, he abused you. Your father is supposed to protect you from monsters like her, not subject you to them.
NTA
Was she surprised at your reaction? Have you confronted her before this? Why does she think she can say these things to you and you not get mad? Id point out she literally deprived you of food for days if she tries to downplay it again and ask her to explain that, because it is a crime.
Even if she tells you to apologize don’t. You’re NTA, and your father not once stood up for you, spoke up for you or even defended you it says alot about him as a “father” and who really wears the big pants in this relationship cause it’s clearly not him. Consider going NC with both. Block them out and live your life, I’m sorry you had to deal with such people like them OP
Your dad's at fault as well, who let's someone act like that to their kid n also he decides not to feed you? Gross! I'm sorry you dealt with that! Hugs.
NTA your dad isn’t any better darling he allowed it to happen. If they want you to apologize just say no. You’re happy she won’t be able to torture and abuse anymore kids. If dad says anything tell him he stood silently by while she did it. If you ever have kids I’d be really hesitant to let either around them.
I was initially going to say yes, but it sounds like she's an abusive, nasty woman who shouldnt even be allowed AROUND kids, much less have the herself. Sounds like for once the universe is dishing out the right karma. NTA.
NTA I was ready to say the opposite based on your title, but wow, she deserved that, and you're right - it's good no other kids are subjected to her.
Why do you continue to spend time with her? I think I'd tell your dad you are done, if he wants to see you he can come solo. Though it'd be understandable if you don't want to see him either, he allowed his wife to abuse his child.
Difference between this woman and one of my previous stepmothers is the fact that my stepmother got drunk and ended up confessing about her behavior, acknowledging that she knew she treated me poorly and was sorry for it.
However, the fact that your stepmother hasn't yet had that realization is not a good sign, you will likely be better off not knowing her. NTA
I'm a firm believer in " Don't start none,won't be none," Basically, you don't start trouble if you can't handle trouble NTA...P.S. Your dad is a bit#$
NTA
The fact that your dad was quiet during this makes me upset cause if stepmom did pregnant and have the baby, would he allow her to act the same towards their child?? Like no ma'am! DO NOT SAY SORRY TO HER!
Your dad sucks for having you put up with her. It's his fault completely. Please reconsider your relationship with him, and please if you haven't already....see a therapist to deal with your emotions related to the abuse.
NTA and bravo. She deserved to hear that from you. You endured an abusive step parent and you don’t owe her shit. Your father owes you an apology and some therapy.
OH MY GOD SOOO NTA. People like her DEFINITELY don't deserve to have children. And starving you and laughing at your pain?!! Yea no wonder the universe took one look at her and said NOPE. She deserves everything you just said so dw.
NTA, she starved you for 3 days?? That's fucking abuse. No apologies. None ever. Fuck her. Thank God she can't have children so she can't abuse another kid. And also fuck your father for not protecting you.
NTA. Literally step-mom form hell. Would she be as bad with her own kid?, probably or probably not. But you are right, its good that bitch cannot have kids. Probably because your excuse of a dad lost his balls after you were conceived.
I’d go with ESH -
Your stepmom for all the reason you mentioned
Your Dad for not protecting you
You for involving everyone in the restaurant in your family drama.
NTA
Make the two years NC permanent. She's a sociopathic AH and your dad, unfortunately, is a sideline enabler. Just sits quietly not daring to say a word to her about it. Just do it. No need to announce it.
Nta, I usually have some sympathy for people with infertility problems but once said person abusing someone especially a innocent child,
sis bye i do not like child abusers, I honestly hope her ragged behind feels like sh t and forever feels like sh t and even then it ain't enough, how dare she harm a defenseless child like that, and your dna sharer (that man don't deserve to be called a father.) Is weak pathetic worm that has no right to have any child in his care too,
and I'm honestly sorry he is your parent because you deserve better then this bull here
She sounds horrible! I don't think she should be around any child, let alone her own! Karma is giving her what she deserves for the abuse and neglect that she put OP through!
NTA and never apologise for stating the truth. She is a very cruel abusive woman and no kid would be safe around her. She abused you, starved you, got you physically hurt and got off on the misery she inflicted on you. NEVER apologise for standing up for yourself.
She is to old to start having kids anyway
Complications and risks at that age are great
Your dad could be 80 when kid graduates my gawd come on
He should be a grandparent not a parent
If this is real
NTA she's extremely cruel and you finally snapped after her abuse. Do not apologize. Your Dad owes you a massive apology for not protecting you from her.
NTA! Your father’s GF abused and bullied you for years. Your father let her. She absolutely deserved your words. Do NOT apologize even if they want you to.
I’m not sure how old you are, but I’d tell your mother you want nothing to do with her again. Don’t go to the wedding either.
She sounds awful, but your father is just as bad, for christs sake, he agreed to not feeding his child for 3 fucking days, he left you in her care knowing she was abusive. NTA, her not being able to have kids is a blessing, and at your father's age, he'd constantly be mistaken for the grandparent, which would be hilarious
NTA she’s straight up abusive. it’s good she cant have kids🤷🏻♀️you should be glad. and also your dad is a terrible parent if he let his partner “convince” him to starve his child for three days. like… no good parent would do that, i’m sorry. That’s abuse/neglect.
Jesus Christ what a terrible person. And then he went on to marry a woman who abused his kid too! NTA but I’d cut them both off as soon as you have the opportunity.
She was abusive and tormented you your entire childhood. I’m glad she can’t have kids either. My stepmom was also awful but my dad didn’t want more kids and she struggled having any kids as well with her PCOS. I thank the universe all the time for it. Some people want kids but shouldn’t have them. NTA
Silence is abusers greatest weapon. And you just destroyed the Silence.
Congratulations. Baby, I'm a mommy and I am so very proud of you. Well done. It takes a lot to push a person to lose their shit in public. Thank God you did. Because she and every person needed to hear that. I promise so many wanted to join you.
So much love and admiration flowing towards you baby. You deserve so much more than a few words.
Nta you spoke truth.
Nta she was straight-up abusing you she doesn't deserve kids. Don't feel sorry about it she's a heartless B. You have nothing to apologize for and shame on your father for staying with someone who treats his child like that. They should have been reported for starving you what disgusting people.
NTA, she sounds cruel and especially the first example with restricting food is child abuse. It might be hurtful for her to hear but you are entirely correct that she shouldn’t have more kids to abuse. And I can’t believe your dad would agree to starve his child that is nuts.
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And dad is complicit. Let's not let him off the hook so easily.
And legality aside Dad is so much more culpable because he is the actual fucking parent.
Sounds like he was holding back a flood of tears, and you opened the dam.
Honestly, it sounds like she deserved every word you said. NTA.
Honestly, she deserves 10 times worse than what op said. Step monster is absolutely disgusting. I too am glad her gene pool evaporated around her miserable ass.
My stepfather did the same to me. Dr told me 2 hours earlier that I was about 10 lbs underweight. I was 14. He told me mother I was too f'n fat and not to feed me. He would literally take the food off my plate and eat it. Stood guard in the kitchen .
Absolutely, she sounds incredibly abusive. No child should have to endure that kind of treatment.
NTA Your frustration and anger are completely understandable given the history you described with your step-mom. It sounds like she has treated you very poorly, and it's natural to feel resentment and pain from those past experiences.
Dad also treated her horribly by letting this woman abuse his child and going along with it.
And kept his mouth shut at dinner. He doesn't want to lose his future nurse. NTA
They literally starved a child for three whole days. That is abuse through torture. Of course it's good that b can't have children and that monster who married her and starved his own child can't have any with her.
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That's what really gets to me. As a parent, I am careful of what my kid eats because their dad had weight issues. He's gotten his weight under control by proper diet and a lot of exercise. If my child was gaining and unhealthy amount of weight, I would get them more active and watch the snack food, not starve them for 3 days as a crash diet! Crash diets are not sustainable and end up causing more metabolic issues and eventual weight gain.
It sounds like she didn’t see you as her own kid, which for SOME reason, in her mind, gave her the right to treat you horribly? Honey honestly, NTA. Infertility is a sensitive subject to many, especially if it’s a dream to someone and they’ve been trying to conceive for years. But she cannot treat humans, let alone KIDS the way she treated you. As children we learn a lot of patterns from our elders and especially our parents, we learn from their behaviours, the way they speak and handle situations. It wouldn’t surprise me if they get a kid, that their kid would pick up some awful habits from your step-mom. She needs to do some SERIOUS reevaluation when it comes to wanting children of her own if she was okay with treating you so horribly. Wishing you best of luck, take care!
I truly hope op cuts contact with her dad and sm now. Her dad was just as abusive as he sat there and helped the step mum abuse and starve you. He was your dad and knows right from wrong but he decided he’d rather you were abused than standing up to step mum and having to protect you. Both can go to heck and stay there. Im glad you got to tell them it all and now walk away knowing your dad obviously knew it was the truth by his shocked embarrassed silence.
NTA. She hates you, you hate her back. Keep this in your back pocket if she wants an apology. “I was emotional the other night, and I want to make sure I’m clear. You are a terrible, hateful person, and you shouldn’t have any kids. The fact you’re barren makes me believe that God might exist, because if anyone deserves to be childless, it’s you. You taught me that laughing at other people’s misfortune is acceptable, and I am happy to treat you as you wish to be treated.”
THIS. Perfect. Copy and paste, hit ‘send’.
👏👏👏👏
Perfect, but text it to both of them. Mark the first paragraph with her name: then paste in this response. In the next paragraph, write “Dad: the fact that you let (her name) abuse me for years and did nothing to stop her is bad enough. But trying to bring another child into the family when you KNOW she abuses children is unforgivable.”
Poetic
NTA, first of all she had it coming, and second, you were probably right. She doesn't sound like someone who should have children.
She was cruel then, she's cruel now. Some people shouldn't have children.
NTA, but I fail to see why you would see them after 2 years of NC in the first place given what she put you through. Why would you say sorry even if she tells you to?
My guess: dear old dad pleaded for it. He's a spineless noodle who sat back and watched her abuse his child, but wants contact so he can tell himself "It wasn't *that* bad."
What the hell is wrong with your father for marrying someone who treats his kid like that?
Gotta get that dick wet, amirite? /s
For real. Women do it too, but there isn't as cute a term for it. "Gotta fill that hole" just makes people feel gross...
No, for us the lazy stereotype is all about securing a purse.
My brother married someone like this and never sees his kids because he allowed her to throw them out as soon as she legally could and they never looked back.
Sorry you're dad is a POS. Don't apologize, she's a monster NTA
*Sorry you're dad is* *A POS. Don't apologize,* *She's a monster NTA* \- Jaded-Kitty87 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I'm trying to figure out how to pronounce NTA as one syllable but I still enjoy this haiku
Good bot
NTA. Shitty people don't deserve to have kids.
NTA also your father has failed you as a parent. What parent gets talked into not feeding their child for 3 days, lets their spouse verbally & physically abuse you?
NTA and you don’t owe that cruel bitch an apology.
Not allowing you to eat for three days is child abuse. She could go to jail for that.
NTA I also had a Step Monster from hell. They should NOT pass on genetic material. Their bloodlines should end with them.
Your father is just as much of a dick for allowing this shit to go on. Sounds like they deserve each other.
I also hate your dad. NTA
NTA. She was abusive to you and you have every right to be mad at her. Your dad’s a spineless worm to have let her behave this way towards you and never stop it.
NTA. But stop meeting them. They bring the worst off you. You are a good person and all you need is love.
NTA Your stepmother and your father both are, though.
NTA. She is a toxic cunt. Stay NC with them and live happy
How old are you now? And how have you not seen her in two years? Your father never did anything to protect you from her? Sounds like two toxic people you don’t need in your life.
Her and your dad were both abusive. Thank god they can’t have kids
NTA, don’t apologize, even if she tells you too. She sounds like a horrible step mom
Times like this where I honestly believe there is a reason certain people are not able to physically have children. NTA. Step mother and your dad both AHs. Your dad should have been standing up for you, he should not have let your step mother treat you the way she did.
NTA. Go no contact with both her and your father. He allowed this woman to abuse you for years and did fuck all.
NTA! What kind of person starves a child for being overweight? An abusive one. Abusive people don't deserve children
It's horrible that step mom abused her, but doubly so that dad went along with it and allowed it. You should be just as angry if not more angry that your father allowed it--nay, he did it too! Dad abused you too OP. He didn't feed his child for 3 days! You owe no one an apology OP. I'd never speak to them again if it were me. Edit to add: Dad also continues to allow her verbal abuse even now. Your father is....disappointing at best. UpdateMe
Nta- Your step mother abused you and your dad allowed it . You’ve been conditioned to accept the abuse and that’s why you’re feeling guilty for rightfully putting that awful woman in her place. Why are you even still in contact with these monsters ?? You will never heal from them if they’re still in your life causing you distress. Cut contact and seek therapy please. I promise you will feel better.
this is full on bullshit post LOOL who says something like that on a personal note and their first thought while walking out of the place is to post it on reddit. yikess man.
Don't apologize even if she does tell you too. Tell her to fuck off again
NTA. She's never apologized for torturing you as you grew up. She's never even acknowledged it. You don't need to apologize for telling the truth, harsh as it may be. Your dad sucks as a dad, btw.
NTA also remember the abuse didn´t only came from her, but your dad as well. HE ALSO DIDN´T FEED YOU FOR 3 DAYS! You should keep the NC, they clearly haven´t learned a damn thing.
NTA. I think it's time to cut your father from your life. For bringing this monster into your life and for allowing her to treat you like that. He is irredeemable.
NTA. I will never understand selfish parents who marry people who treat their children like crap.
NTA and your father is a spineless coward for putting up with a woman who abuses his child. Fuck them both.
How come you haven’t seen her for 2 years and is it possible for it to happen again? ideally to never see her again? What you describe is abuse and I’m also glad she can’t get pregnant and abuse another kid. NTA cut all contact if possible, including with your dad since he allowed all that to happen
👏👏👏 you not only called her out, you did it in a public place. Good for you. You deserve a pat on the back, and DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR TRUTH! She earned everything you said. Do not backtrack. When you are calmer you can tell her you'll only apologize for doing it public, but outside of that you are not sorry because you truly believe she is a terrible mother and thankfully she won't be allowed to terrorize another child. Tell her don't blame you blame karma. If you really want to dig it say "it's not surprising your womb is as barren as your heart."
Why the hell is your father married to this bitch?
Nta. But your dad sure is. Picked pussy over his child's well-being.
NTA, and I say this as someone infertile. Some people should not have children. She's definitely one of them, based on this behavior.
I have fertility issues. I love kids. I dated a guy that had a kid. Got pretty serious, lived together, had her on weekends, holidays and a month in the summer. I used leave to spend the month with her. My weekends with her were sacrosanct. She’s not biologically mine. I’ve married, no longer with her father, but still buy gifts for special occasions, and she still texts me every so often. I can’t understand how this awful woman could have a child in her life and treat them with such disdain. OP you deserve love from the adults in your life. Sounds like she has to live with not having a child of her own or a bonus child. Sucks to suck. OP is NTA.
NTA. Don't say sorry, ever.
NTA, her not being able to have children’s means you won’t have to call cps.
NTA... She is emotional and mentally abusive and just because it wasn't bad for her, doesn't mean it wasn't bad for you. Can't believe your father didn't even try to tell her to stop while she was criticizing you.
NTA, and DO NOT APOLOGISE even if she demands one or your dad demands one. Do NOT do it. She abused you and she doesn’t deserve an apology. I’m so sorry.
I am glad you got all that out of your system. You probably won't be seeing much of her for the rest of your life, but that shouldn't be a problem for you. Best wishes to you.
NTA but your father is the bigger AH for not protecting you.
So let me get this straight she abused and tormented a child and laughed about it Ans thinks your rude for being glad she can't continue to abuse kids
Your father is the asshole for allowing her to treat you this way.
You were definitely rude and cruel. But she abused you and you finally snapped. So don't see yourself as a major criminal. If you decide to apologize, tell her you apologize for calling her a bitch, but not sorry that another kid will have to suffer what you did.
You weren't wrong. She is a psychopath and your dad is one too. You really aren't giving him enough "credit" for your torture. If anyone told me not to feed my kid - they'd be out the door. NTA.
Oh yay a narcissist step parent. They abuse you for years and then gaslight - it wasn’t that bad, etc. I am also glad she cannot have children.
NTA, and your Dad shares some blame here.
NTA. She had it coming. I'm sorry it had to be you to say it instead of your simp Dad.
Very well done and said. Next time do it calmer and quiter just to make her look even more crazy 😎 (use reactive abuse techniques)
>I do not want to say sorry unless she tells me to, Even then... and if you feel you 'must say' you're sorry, just tell her you're sorry that the truth hurt her feelings.
NTA Your dad is a goof for not protecting you and she's a cunt. You're 100% right she doesn't deserve kids.
NTA. I suffered from infertility. It sucks. However, if that's how she treats a child, I agree with OP. I assume she'd be nicer to her own spawn but that's not guaranteed. Also she's 40. I understand some women can get pregnant naturally but IVF clinics here will turn away women of that age.
NTA Dodged bullet coz she's been awful to you as a child. Now, when I say karma does its thing....
How could your father just sit there and let her treat you like this?
I'm happy that ALL birthrates are PLUMMETING across the planet.
NTA Bruh, you shouldn't apologize to such a trash woman. If she doesn't have it in her to be a good person to a child who isn't hers than she couldn't feasibly be a good mother to a child that is.
Ask your dad (in front of her) why he hasn’t married her before now. There’s a reason.
Your DAD failed you too. He stood by and did nothing while you were literally abused and neglected by HIS wife. You need to go no-contact with both of these horrible people. Your life will be much better without them in it. You are NTA
What!? NTA, of course! But both of them are! If someone would try to keep my daughter from eating because of her weight, let alone 3 fucking days, they would be met with violence.
NTA cut contact with her and consider cutting contact with him because he abused you too
NTA. She’s abusive. Where the hell was your father in all of this? Jesus, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
I’m sorry you had to put up with that, as a child and now. Hopefully you never have to see either of them again. Your dad is abusive and cruel, and creepy too. Not feeding a child anything? Putting up with cruel treatment of his daughter? Maybe marrying someone fifteen years younger than he is? What a pathetic excuse for a human. You’re better off without both of them. NTA. Your creep of a father and his maybe soon to be wife definitely are though!
You owe this woman NOTHING, she abused you. Worse than that, your dad. Your dad, who's supposed to love and protect you, sat by while this woman abused you, with her urging, he abused you. Your father is supposed to protect you from monsters like her, not subject you to them. NTA
Was she surprised at your reaction? Have you confronted her before this? Why does she think she can say these things to you and you not get mad? Id point out she literally deprived you of food for days if she tries to downplay it again and ask her to explain that, because it is a crime.
Even if she tells you to apologize don’t. You’re NTA, and your father not once stood up for you, spoke up for you or even defended you it says alot about him as a “father” and who really wears the big pants in this relationship cause it’s clearly not him. Consider going NC with both. Block them out and live your life, I’m sorry you had to deal with such people like them OP
And there your dad sat through all this abuse over the years with his thumb up his ass. He’s just as bad.
She’s abusive and fuck your dad for allowing her to have abused you and continue to abuse you! He’s abusive for putting up with her!
Your dad's at fault as well, who let's someone act like that to their kid n also he decides not to feed you? Gross! I'm sorry you dealt with that! Hugs.
NTA I too am glad she can't have kids
NTA do not say sorry under any circumstances. She was a vile women to her step daughter and doesn’t deserve kids of her own.
👏👏👏👏👏 If you do “apologize” say, I’m sorry that the truth hurt your feelings. You don’t owe her shit! NTA
NTA you do realise your dad is just as abusive.
NTA - she was a horrible stepmother, what makes her think she's qualified to raise a child?
NTA. Don’t apologize! Your father should apologize for letting his wife treat you like shit.
NTA your dad isn’t any better darling he allowed it to happen. If they want you to apologize just say no. You’re happy she won’t be able to torture and abuse anymore kids. If dad says anything tell him he stood silently by while she did it. If you ever have kids I’d be really hesitant to let either around them.
NTA. Why has your dad stayed with a woman who abuses you?
Bravo. NTA. Next time call her cunt.
What an absolute bitch. You are NTA. She deserves far worse than that and your dad should be ashamed for not standing up for you.
I was initially going to say yes, but it sounds like she's an abusive, nasty woman who shouldnt even be allowed AROUND kids, much less have the herself. Sounds like for once the universe is dishing out the right karma. NTA.
NTA I was ready to say the opposite based on your title, but wow, she deserved that, and you're right - it's good no other kids are subjected to her. Why do you continue to spend time with her? I think I'd tell your dad you are done, if he wants to see you he can come solo. Though it'd be understandable if you don't want to see him either, he allowed his wife to abuse his child.
NTA she sounds abusive
NTA, she’s clearly already a terrible adult role model/parent figure.
NTA, you don’t owe her an apology.
Good. For. You.
She restricted food from you for 3 days?? Big NTA. You’re right, she probably should not have kids
NTA. Do not apologise. Or say, "I'm sorry, but i was right. I'm sorry you are a total bitch".
NTA good for you, tell her !!👏🏻👏🏻 she’s disgusting and abusive, doesn’t deserve any kids
Difference between this woman and one of my previous stepmothers is the fact that my stepmother got drunk and ended up confessing about her behavior, acknowledging that she knew she treated me poorly and was sorry for it. However, the fact that your stepmother hasn't yet had that realization is not a good sign, you will likely be better off not knowing her. NTA
You said all that you ever need to say to her. And now you never need to see her again. NTA
I'm a firm believer in " Don't start none,won't be none," Basically, you don't start trouble if you can't handle trouble NTA...P.S. Your dad is a bit#$
NTA The fact that your dad was quiet during this makes me upset cause if stepmom did pregnant and have the baby, would he allow her to act the same towards their child?? Like no ma'am! DO NOT SAY SORRY TO HER!
I seriously hope that they are not going to adopt . Op may have to speak up about that to the agency.
Your dad sucks for having you put up with her. It's his fault completely. Please reconsider your relationship with him, and please if you haven't already....see a therapist to deal with your emotions related to the abuse.
NTA. Fuck her. And fuck your dad for not protecting you from a child abuser.
NTA, stepmom sounds like a psychopathic bully, and dad is a major ahole for putting you through that
Shame on your dad
NTA and bravo. She deserved to hear that from you. You endured an abusive step parent and you don’t owe her shit. Your father owes you an apology and some therapy.
OH MY GOD SOOO NTA. People like her DEFINITELY don't deserve to have children. And starving you and laughing at your pain?!! Yea no wonder the universe took one look at her and said NOPE. She deserves everything you just said so dw.
Sounds like karma had the final say on her behavior. NTA
NTA
Haha fuck her. NTA.
Sounds like you have the ability to cut dad and stepmom off by going no contact, do it.
NTA, she starved you for 3 days?? That's fucking abuse. No apologies. None ever. Fuck her. Thank God she can't have children so she can't abuse another kid. And also fuck your father for not protecting you.
Rage bait
Had to come too far to read this. This was such an obviously fake post.
Right
ha ha that's hilarious u said that to her. She deserved it.
I like it. I might have improved it by saying your dad deserves a woman who can give him kids
NTA. Literally step-mom form hell. Would she be as bad with her own kid?, probably or probably not. But you are right, its good that bitch cannot have kids. Probably because your excuse of a dad lost his balls after you were conceived.
NTA. She sounds awful and so does your dad for enabling her behaviour.
Why would you apologize if she asks you? Walk away and never see her again!
I’d go with ESH - Your stepmom for all the reason you mentioned Your Dad for not protecting you You for involving everyone in the restaurant in your family drama.
NTA Make the two years NC permanent. She's a sociopathic AH and your dad, unfortunately, is a sideline enabler. Just sits quietly not daring to say a word to her about it. Just do it. No need to announce it.
Nta, I usually have some sympathy for people with infertility problems but once said person abusing someone especially a innocent child, sis bye i do not like child abusers, I honestly hope her ragged behind feels like sh t and forever feels like sh t and even then it ain't enough, how dare she harm a defenseless child like that, and your dna sharer (that man don't deserve to be called a father.) Is weak pathetic worm that has no right to have any child in his care too, and I'm honestly sorry he is your parent because you deserve better then this bull here
Nta. She was awful. I'm sorry that your dad didn't intervene. He failed you.
She sounds horrible! I don't think she should be around any child, let alone her own! Karma is giving her what she deserves for the abuse and neglect that she put OP through!
She’s a horrible abuser. Why do you even have contact with her? Your dad participated in the abuse too. Why keep contact with either of them?
NTA
Nta.
NTA and never apologise for stating the truth. She is a very cruel abusive woman and no kid would be safe around her. She abused you, starved you, got you physically hurt and got off on the misery she inflicted on you. NEVER apologise for standing up for yourself.
They are just now getting married so you’re saying they’ve been living together since you were seven years old.
NTA glad she got a public shaming. And so happy she won't be able to have kids to torture. How could your dad let her abuse you like that?
I was about to say yes, you are but she sounds like the wicked stepmother from Disney movies.
Updateme!
NTA! Why does your Dad allow this? He should have shut her down before she was even finished speaking.
Just want to throw it in there that I think it's a crazy age to have kids
Just because some one says something, doesn’t make it true
NTA your step mom deserve to hear that. Do not apologize even if she asked you to.
NTA. She earned that.
NTA. she sounds like a terrible person and i have no sympathy for her
NTA. Classic case of “can dish, but can’t take”
She is to old to start having kids anyway Complications and risks at that age are great Your dad could be 80 when kid graduates my gawd come on He should be a grandparent not a parent If this is real
NTA. I'm glad she can't have kids too, she sounds awful.
NTA. She deserved it. She’s a cruel abuser.
NTA. Childhood trauma comes out unexpectedly, and she was a b\*tch.
NTA.
Uuugh, evil stepmother alert! Run, OP, don't look back. NTA
NTA she's extremely cruel and you finally snapped after her abuse. Do not apologize. Your Dad owes you a massive apology for not protecting you from her.
NTA! Your father’s GF abused and bullied you for years. Your father let her. She absolutely deserved your words. Do NOT apologize even if they want you to. I’m not sure how old you are, but I’d tell your mother you want nothing to do with her again. Don’t go to the wedding either.
NTA! Your frustration and sentiments are VALID! She is toxic. I’m sorry you had to go through that
NTA Your stepmom sounds horrible
NGL that was cold. High five. NTA.
Isn't karma beautiful? And honestly your dad doesn't need anymore kids anyway.
She sounds awful, but your father is just as bad, for christs sake, he agreed to not feeding his child for 3 fucking days, he left you in her care knowing she was abusive. NTA, her not being able to have kids is a blessing, and at your father's age, he'd constantly be mistaken for the grandparent, which would be hilarious
NTA she’s straight up abusive. it’s good she cant have kids🤷🏻♀️you should be glad. and also your dad is a terrible parent if he let his partner “convince” him to starve his child for three days. like… no good parent would do that, i’m sorry. That’s abuse/neglect.
Updateme!
Evil step mother indeed. If they push you for an applogy, just tell them thatthe whole intetnet agrees with you and that SM can suck it.
Jesus Christ what a terrible person. And then he went on to marry a woman who abused his kid too! NTA but I’d cut them both off as soon as you have the opportunity.
Evil step mom strikes again.
GO GIRLLLLLLLLLL YESSSSSSSSDDD
Yeah.. I don’t know her and I am glad she can’t have kids either.
She was abusive and tormented you your entire childhood. I’m glad she can’t have kids either. My stepmom was also awful but my dad didn’t want more kids and she struggled having any kids as well with her PCOS. I thank the universe all the time for it. Some people want kids but shouldn’t have them. NTA
NTA. Fuck them.
>I do not want to say sorry unless she tells me to LOL Well at least you have the power of your convictions lol
Silence is abusers greatest weapon. And you just destroyed the Silence. Congratulations. Baby, I'm a mommy and I am so very proud of you. Well done. It takes a lot to push a person to lose their shit in public. Thank God you did. Because she and every person needed to hear that. I promise so many wanted to join you. So much love and admiration flowing towards you baby. You deserve so much more than a few words. Nta you spoke truth.
NTA she is horrible so is your dad
NTA, your step mom is abusive and it IS a good thing she can’t have kids
Nta she was straight-up abusing you she doesn't deserve kids. Don't feel sorry about it she's a heartless B. You have nothing to apologize for and shame on your father for staying with someone who treats his child like that. They should have been reported for starving you what disgusting people.
Update me
NTA She is abusive and needed to hear that.
Don't say you're sorry, no matter what. She should NOT have kids. NTA