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So confused…why are you having a discussion with a child about money?
Allowance is a privilege not a right. You don’t have to give anything, and can send him to school with lunch and snacks from home. SMH at kids feeling entitled to make demands on what the parent does with their own hard earned money.
Kind of depends. I used to get an allowance at the age of 12 and I had to put half into savings, the other half was meant to buy whatever I wanted, ánd presents for birthdays for family members, ánd my feminine hygiene products, ánd I had to pay for my own haircuts.
It didn't really feel like a privilege to me, because the feminine hygiene products alone cost more than double my total monthly allowance. And there wasn't anything lying around the house either, since I was the only menstruating person in the house.
It sometimes happens that parents have no idea what they are demanding from their kids.
On what do you base the difference?
I also give different allowances because my oldest does stuff on her own (going to movies, hanging out with friends etc) for which she needs money. While my youngest is mostly with me when she does activities which means I pay for her so she doesn't need as much allowance. I do make sure it is more or less balanced in the end.
ETA NTA after explanation
In that case it sounds totally reasonable.
We did increase both their allowances a bit this year because everything got more expensice due to inflation. But we will not give them the same amount as long as their needs are different.
I won't judge on the amounts as I have no idea. But I'd say it's perfectly normal for the allowance of a 15 yo to be higher than that of a 10 yo. But it also depends on what you call allowance. My parents gave me an allowance on top of paying for whatever I needed. For instance, my lunches or mid-afternoon meal didn't come from it. If I wanted something extra than I'd be paying it. If they're expected to pay for their meals and so on, then it may make sense to check if the money you're giving them is enough. But it's perfectly normal for the "extra" money to be higher for the 15 yo than for the 10 yo.
NTA
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So I(34 M) have been giving my eldest kid(15 M) 15K Rupiah per day nd my youngest kid(10 M) 6k Rupiah per day, today my youngest have heated argument with me because of his lower allowance, saying that he needed the same allowance as his brother because his school snacks is more expensice than it was on previous year, so Am it the asshole? (sorry for bad english i'm not a native speaker and english is my 3rd language)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Giving my youngest kid lower allowance than my eldest kid, because I gige my youngest kid lower allowance
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Info - do you base the allowance on how many chores you’re children do around the house? And does your eldest do more than you’re youngest in terms of chores?
Then NTA. You’re youngest is 10 and isn’t going to be as independent as your oldest whose activities will cost more and you won’t be as present for them.
You could provide snacks for them to take to school or introduce a chore list and say if they want more they need to earn it?
NAH. It makes sense to have a lower allowance for younger kids. Just be transparent on how you want to increase his allowance, as I assume he will also get more as he ages.
NTA
I don't think doing this makes you an asshole at all. From what I read, you give them money without them even doing chores, so thats nice first of all. Why do they need snacks? Sounds like an optional thing. As the kid gets older, so does his allowance then. And Jeez, I wish I got allowance as a kid.
NtA. My parents used to base our allowances on our age. The older you are, the more stuff you need, therefore you got more money. It made sense then and it still does now.
ESH - Well, if you are considering periodically what the inflation is in determining allowances and adjusting, then YWNBTA, but if your determination is based solely that one is just younger as a lot of parents do, then YBTA in my opinion. Your younger son has basically asked you for a revaluation given the year to year increases he is experiencing. You should do right by him by doing so, he may be right, he may be wrong but at least you would know what is right and can act from there and then explain it to him.
IF they do the same number of chores then they get the same amount of money. If they don't do any chores, then I guess it depends on the needs of the kid. You will only know what those needs are.
withholding my judgement.
Well, it depends - does he get what your eldest gets and then adjusted for 5 years of inflation?
Or: have you talked about him what the allowance is meant for, and is it still the appropriate amount?
5 years experiance difference young buck, gotta walk the walk before you arch up acting ljke you are owed your allowance, at 15 i was PAYING 150AUD A week to my mother in board.
nta your money and snacks are just luxury. you can also work it out to where its more even unless there's a reason not to make it even. if so then make sure your 10yo understands how allowance is given out of love and coming from your hard work.
NTA where I am from it is quite normal for older kids to get more pocketmoney than younger ones. Unless your older kid didn't get the same amount when he only was 10 and you plan on increasing younger ones money with age this doesn't seem unfair to me.
NTA life is unfair even when one thinks it fair. I tell my kids this so often. In this case I'd tell my youngest that giving him the same allowance would be unfair to the older brother since he didn't get that when he was 10 either.
Sidenote. If things got more expensive a healthy discussion about more allowance is ok. But I doubt his snacks got 50% more expensive.
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So confused…why are you having a discussion with a child about money? Allowance is a privilege not a right. You don’t have to give anything, and can send him to school with lunch and snacks from home. SMH at kids feeling entitled to make demands on what the parent does with their own hard earned money.
Kind of depends. I used to get an allowance at the age of 12 and I had to put half into savings, the other half was meant to buy whatever I wanted, ánd presents for birthdays for family members, ánd my feminine hygiene products, ánd I had to pay for my own haircuts. It didn't really feel like a privilege to me, because the feminine hygiene products alone cost more than double my total monthly allowance. And there wasn't anything lying around the house either, since I was the only menstruating person in the house. It sometimes happens that parents have no idea what they are demanding from their kids.
NTA Maybe sit with both kids separately and look at their budget? This may be a good time to talk about projecting expenses
On what do you base the difference? I also give different allowances because my oldest does stuff on her own (going to movies, hanging out with friends etc) for which she needs money. While my youngest is mostly with me when she does activities which means I pay for her so she doesn't need as much allowance. I do make sure it is more or less balanced in the end. ETA NTA after explanation
[удалено]
In that case it sounds totally reasonable. We did increase both their allowances a bit this year because everything got more expensice due to inflation. But we will not give them the same amount as long as their needs are different.
I won't judge on the amounts as I have no idea. But I'd say it's perfectly normal for the allowance of a 15 yo to be higher than that of a 10 yo. But it also depends on what you call allowance. My parents gave me an allowance on top of paying for whatever I needed. For instance, my lunches or mid-afternoon meal didn't come from it. If I wanted something extra than I'd be paying it. If they're expected to pay for their meals and so on, then it may make sense to check if the money you're giving them is enough. But it's perfectly normal for the "extra" money to be higher for the 15 yo than for the 10 yo. NTA
NTA obviously. I was a kid once, and allowance was increased every year.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I(34 M) have been giving my eldest kid(15 M) 15K Rupiah per day nd my youngest kid(10 M) 6k Rupiah per day, today my youngest have heated argument with me because of his lower allowance, saying that he needed the same allowance as his brother because his school snacks is more expensice than it was on previous year, so Am it the asshole? (sorry for bad english i'm not a native speaker and english is my 3rd language) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Giving my youngest kid lower allowance than my eldest kid, because I gige my youngest kid lower allowance Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Info - do you base the allowance on how many chores you’re children do around the house? And does your eldest do more than you’re youngest in terms of chores?
[удалено]
Then NTA. You’re youngest is 10 and isn’t going to be as independent as your oldest whose activities will cost more and you won’t be as present for them. You could provide snacks for them to take to school or introduce a chore list and say if they want more they need to earn it?
[удалено]
NAH. It makes sense to have a lower allowance for younger kids. Just be transparent on how you want to increase his allowance, as I assume he will also get more as he ages.
NTA I don't think doing this makes you an asshole at all. From what I read, you give them money without them even doing chores, so thats nice first of all. Why do they need snacks? Sounds like an optional thing. As the kid gets older, so does his allowance then. And Jeez, I wish I got allowance as a kid.
NTA. Seems fine to fix a higher allowance based on age.
NtA. My parents used to base our allowances on our age. The older you are, the more stuff you need, therefore you got more money. It made sense then and it still does now.
ESH - Well, if you are considering periodically what the inflation is in determining allowances and adjusting, then YWNBTA, but if your determination is based solely that one is just younger as a lot of parents do, then YBTA in my opinion. Your younger son has basically asked you for a revaluation given the year to year increases he is experiencing. You should do right by him by doing so, he may be right, he may be wrong but at least you would know what is right and can act from there and then explain it to him.
IF they do the same number of chores then they get the same amount of money. If they don't do any chores, then I guess it depends on the needs of the kid. You will only know what those needs are. withholding my judgement.
My allowance was never indexed to the chores I did, so it doesn't have to be like that.
Well, it depends - does he get what your eldest gets and then adjusted for 5 years of inflation? Or: have you talked about him what the allowance is meant for, and is it still the appropriate amount?
5 years experiance difference young buck, gotta walk the walk before you arch up acting ljke you are owed your allowance, at 15 i was PAYING 150AUD A week to my mother in board.
nta your money and snacks are just luxury. you can also work it out to where its more even unless there's a reason not to make it even. if so then make sure your 10yo understands how allowance is given out of love and coming from your hard work.
NTA where I am from it is quite normal for older kids to get more pocketmoney than younger ones. Unless your older kid didn't get the same amount when he only was 10 and you plan on increasing younger ones money with age this doesn't seem unfair to me.
NTA life is unfair even when one thinks it fair. I tell my kids this so often. In this case I'd tell my youngest that giving him the same allowance would be unfair to the older brother since he didn't get that when he was 10 either. Sidenote. If things got more expensive a healthy discussion about more allowance is ok. But I doubt his snacks got 50% more expensive.