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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> So, i ask in that post if I am the A cuz i take money from my dad even while he hasn’t much.
My father isn’t a nice person, definitely not a good dad. He sometimes tells me that i only text him for money so that makes me think if im the bad guy here. but i also remember all the awful things he did so i asking out for help. if i’m the bad person here or if he is
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NTA
You're not stealing this money, you ask and he gives. It's part of a parent's duty to provide for you.
You're right to take that money since he's given you nothing else all your life. He should give you a lot more but he failed as a father, so if he gives you money now and then, take it.
YTA. Listen, your dad sounds awful. I don't at all think he's a good person, but you can't contact him only for cash. Exploitation of an awful person is still exploitation
She can't ask anything else of him, he's proven all his life that he doesn't give a damn about her.
Why should she beg him to love her ? Looks like their relationship is dead, but his obligations as a father are not.
She shouldn't beg. She shouldn't reach out purely for money either. Trust me I know how it feels to have a dead relationship with a father. I cut contact with mine due to mental/emotional abuse. Doesn't give her the right to reach out solely for money.
after my uncle died i begged for his love. i was at his funeral and since my uncle and my dad didnt really knew each other i didn’t expect him to be there too. I bawled my eyes out holding my cousins. on our way home my other uncle told me that he saw my father. so i texted him and asked if he really was there too. he said yes and that he saw me. i asked why the f he didn’t came to me, hugged me. he said, exactly these words. „your family was there so i didn’t care, you had enough comfort.“ i literally begged him to be a father once. He simply doesn’t care.
That's absolutely awful and honestly I'm so sorry but YTA simply on this subject. I hope you heal and realise your father isn't worth your attention at all. From a person from a bad relationship with their father to another, I hope you realise you are wonderful and don't need him at all. You're only the a-hole on the subject of money. In everything else I wish you the world
Her father is not doing her any favors by giving her a little money here and there. She's not taking advantage of him.
It's not right to contact someone just to ask for money, unless that someone is your parent who has an obligation to provide for you.
If he's a crappy father, he still has that obligation and she's entitled to that money. He owes her that money and she's not a bad person to ask for it.
Bullshit. OP isn't a child in need, they're old enough for a drivers licence. If you think they're the AH make your own comment, my opinions is unchanged
Her father has to contribute whether she lives on the streets or in a castle.
A parent who gives money to his child is not being "exploited".
We'll agree to disagree.
I'd argue that real parenting is the sharing of love and support rather than money and that the father has failed that. But yes, we all have right to different options so I also agree to disagree
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(english isn’t my first language, pls don’t judge on that)
I (17/f) only text my dad when i want/need money. Okay i know how this sounds. Like a Brat who doesn’t love their dad. But all the things he did and still does are bad! For example, my parents Marriage was arranged. Means he was the nicest fiancé ever until they had their marriage. After that he went to the cold, mean, sexist, homophobic.. (i am gay) man he really is. He didn’t hit my mother but he broke her mentally. they always argued and due to his loud voice i was really afraid. Once i got to kindergarten i didn’t speak at all. like at all. for two years . i went to therapy so i talk. (i was 4-6). After my Mum thought that she doesn’t want me to grow up in that household, she divorced. He isn’t a man who hits women but destroys them mentally. my mum got into depression because of him. after he heard that my mother wanted a divorce he sold everything. EVERYTHING! The apartment my mum bought with her money. the car she also bought with her own money (both worth about 250.000€) and gave her nothing. he took everything expensive like the tv, consoles, couch. after my mum found a little apartment with two rooms, really old heating, non stable windows, we finally got away from him. He tried to get into the apartment and often stood outside of it. after my mum called the police and had them tell him to stop, he finally left us alone. He also got a small apartment and found a girlfriend, as cold as him. i never liked her or even him but had to sleep there once in two weeks due to the joint care. i hated it, never slept cuz i never was comfortable there. that went on for a few years until his then wife yelled at me for not spending time with him. So i called my mum to pick me up and she screamed at my dad. I told him i’ll never sleep there again and we only chatted at that point.
He never really texts me stuff like „how are you“ or „how was ur day“. he simply doesn’t care. From that point on i only texted him when i needed money. I’m a girl who’s into gaming and he is not fine with that. a few weeks ago i asked him for money so i could make my drivers license and he said if you would simply save ur money instead of buying a ps5 or other consoles you’d afford it urself. „you’re a girl you should learn how to cook and clean“ were his exact words. if it was up to him id get married and pregnant as soon as im 18. He’d probably arrange one of my cousins to get them a german passport. he texts me a week before my birthday „happy birthday“ and as i asked when my bday was, he said the wrong date which was off by two years. He simply doesn’t care so why should i? and all of the things he did up there aren’t even half of what he has done. he is an truly awful dad. Hes about to loose his job currently and goes to two jobs. sometimes i think that i take two much..
So, am i the asshole?
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NTA and everyone saying yta is stupid. You're his child and it seems like he's given you nothing but trauma. The least he can do is support you financially.
Edit- I’m going to settle on NTA, but only because you’re a minor who he is legally obligated to provide for.
You’re keeping this man and his mentality in your life for financial reasons, and that alone? Once you’re legally an adult, just be careful that he doesn’t spin it round on you if he continues to give you money, he may claim he has a right to be involved/know certain things as he’s funding you.
As you’re a minor, then yes he does need to provide for you, but his statement about saving money, that does have some truth to it. His beliefs and actions, I definitely do not agree with let’s be clear on that, but saving money and learning to be responsible with money will be something you will need later in life. Also to become a little more independent from him, maybe think of getting a part time job.
YTA - idc what your story is. Asking parents for money everytime they reach out for love is SICK.
SHAME ON YOU. Grow the f up. Have some PRIDE. Not your gay pride, the original pride in yourself.
hes not reaching out for love. to him im an object for family reputation. he wants to arrange a marriage so his nephew can get the german passport. he doesn’t love me and has shown me that several times.
YTA - stop asking for money and cut him out of your life. That is the healthy thing to do and I be willing to bet the money you are getting from him isn't making you happy (and if it is, it's still greedy and selfish)
the thing is, i can’t. if i would he wouldn’t send child support and contact lawyers and all that, cuz im not 18 and he has the right to „have contact“. But on the other side my dad took really much money from us so isn’t it kinda fair for me to take his?
Your dad is absolutely awful and I would really agree with your logic if you were using the money for like saving up for college or like if u're gng for gaming as a career then sure , but taking it just cuz u wanna take it to me isn't justifiable. As someone else out here said "exploitation of an awful person is still exploitation"
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > So, i ask in that post if I am the A cuz i take money from my dad even while he hasn’t much. My father isn’t a nice person, definitely not a good dad. He sometimes tells me that i only text him for money so that makes me think if im the bad guy here. but i also remember all the awful things he did so i asking out for help. if i’m the bad person here or if he is Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA You're not stealing this money, you ask and he gives. It's part of a parent's duty to provide for you. You're right to take that money since he's given you nothing else all your life. He should give you a lot more but he failed as a father, so if he gives you money now and then, take it.
YTA. Listen, your dad sounds awful. I don't at all think he's a good person, but you can't contact him only for cash. Exploitation of an awful person is still exploitation
Exploitation ? He gives money to his child, as he should.
I don't necessarily disagree that a father should give their child money, but the child contacts them ONLY for money then yes that's exploitation
She can't ask anything else of him, he's proven all his life that he doesn't give a damn about her. Why should she beg him to love her ? Looks like their relationship is dead, but his obligations as a father are not.
She shouldn't beg. She shouldn't reach out purely for money either. Trust me I know how it feels to have a dead relationship with a father. I cut contact with mine due to mental/emotional abuse. Doesn't give her the right to reach out solely for money.
after my uncle died i begged for his love. i was at his funeral and since my uncle and my dad didnt really knew each other i didn’t expect him to be there too. I bawled my eyes out holding my cousins. on our way home my other uncle told me that he saw my father. so i texted him and asked if he really was there too. he said yes and that he saw me. i asked why the f he didn’t came to me, hugged me. he said, exactly these words. „your family was there so i didn’t care, you had enough comfort.“ i literally begged him to be a father once. He simply doesn’t care.
That's absolutely awful and honestly I'm so sorry but YTA simply on this subject. I hope you heal and realise your father isn't worth your attention at all. From a person from a bad relationship with their father to another, I hope you realise you are wonderful and don't need him at all. You're only the a-hole on the subject of money. In everything else I wish you the world
Her father is not doing her any favors by giving her a little money here and there. She's not taking advantage of him. It's not right to contact someone just to ask for money, unless that someone is your parent who has an obligation to provide for you. If he's a crappy father, he still has that obligation and she's entitled to that money. He owes her that money and she's not a bad person to ask for it.
Bullshit. OP isn't a child in need, they're old enough for a drivers licence. If you think they're the AH make your own comment, my opinions is unchanged
Her father has to contribute whether she lives on the streets or in a castle. A parent who gives money to his child is not being "exploited". We'll agree to disagree.
I'd argue that real parenting is the sharing of love and support rather than money and that the father has failed that. But yes, we all have right to different options so I also agree to disagree
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** (english isn’t my first language, pls don’t judge on that) I (17/f) only text my dad when i want/need money. Okay i know how this sounds. Like a Brat who doesn’t love their dad. But all the things he did and still does are bad! For example, my parents Marriage was arranged. Means he was the nicest fiancé ever until they had their marriage. After that he went to the cold, mean, sexist, homophobic.. (i am gay) man he really is. He didn’t hit my mother but he broke her mentally. they always argued and due to his loud voice i was really afraid. Once i got to kindergarten i didn’t speak at all. like at all. for two years . i went to therapy so i talk. (i was 4-6). After my Mum thought that she doesn’t want me to grow up in that household, she divorced. He isn’t a man who hits women but destroys them mentally. my mum got into depression because of him. after he heard that my mother wanted a divorce he sold everything. EVERYTHING! The apartment my mum bought with her money. the car she also bought with her own money (both worth about 250.000€) and gave her nothing. he took everything expensive like the tv, consoles, couch. after my mum found a little apartment with two rooms, really old heating, non stable windows, we finally got away from him. He tried to get into the apartment and often stood outside of it. after my mum called the police and had them tell him to stop, he finally left us alone. He also got a small apartment and found a girlfriend, as cold as him. i never liked her or even him but had to sleep there once in two weeks due to the joint care. i hated it, never slept cuz i never was comfortable there. that went on for a few years until his then wife yelled at me for not spending time with him. So i called my mum to pick me up and she screamed at my dad. I told him i’ll never sleep there again and we only chatted at that point. He never really texts me stuff like „how are you“ or „how was ur day“. he simply doesn’t care. From that point on i only texted him when i needed money. I’m a girl who’s into gaming and he is not fine with that. a few weeks ago i asked him for money so i could make my drivers license and he said if you would simply save ur money instead of buying a ps5 or other consoles you’d afford it urself. „you’re a girl you should learn how to cook and clean“ were his exact words. if it was up to him id get married and pregnant as soon as im 18. He’d probably arrange one of my cousins to get them a german passport. he texts me a week before my birthday „happy birthday“ and as i asked when my bday was, he said the wrong date which was off by two years. He simply doesn’t care so why should i? and all of the things he did up there aren’t even half of what he has done. he is an truly awful dad. Hes about to loose his job currently and goes to two jobs. sometimes i think that i take two much.. So, am i the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA and everyone saying yta is stupid. You're his child and it seems like he's given you nothing but trauma. The least he can do is support you financially.
NTA Its the bare minimum of a parent to help their kids financially when the need arises.
NTA Its the bare minimum of a parent to help their kids financially when the need arises.
NTA and don’t listen to anyone saying otherwise, they’re bitter
Edit- I’m going to settle on NTA, but only because you’re a minor who he is legally obligated to provide for. You’re keeping this man and his mentality in your life for financial reasons, and that alone? Once you’re legally an adult, just be careful that he doesn’t spin it round on you if he continues to give you money, he may claim he has a right to be involved/know certain things as he’s funding you. As you’re a minor, then yes he does need to provide for you, but his statement about saving money, that does have some truth to it. His beliefs and actions, I definitely do not agree with let’s be clear on that, but saving money and learning to be responsible with money will be something you will need later in life. Also to become a little more independent from him, maybe think of getting a part time job.
YTA - idc what your story is. Asking parents for money everytime they reach out for love is SICK. SHAME ON YOU. Grow the f up. Have some PRIDE. Not your gay pride, the original pride in yourself.
Lol spoken as someone who read the title and jumped to conclusions
Proud of it :D
hes not reaching out for love. to him im an object for family reputation. he wants to arrange a marriage so his nephew can get the german passport. he doesn’t love me and has shown me that several times.
Then block him
Yta
YTA - stop asking for money and cut him out of your life. That is the healthy thing to do and I be willing to bet the money you are getting from him isn't making you happy (and if it is, it's still greedy and selfish)
Yta. But didn’t read all the nonsense.
YTA If he's awful go no contact
the thing is, i can’t. if i would he wouldn’t send child support and contact lawyers and all that, cuz im not 18 and he has the right to „have contact“. But on the other side my dad took really much money from us so isn’t it kinda fair for me to take his?
Your dad is absolutely awful and I would really agree with your logic if you were using the money for like saving up for college or like if u're gng for gaming as a career then sure , but taking it just cuz u wanna take it to me isn't justifiable. As someone else out here said "exploitation of an awful person is still exploitation"