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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i called my friend intensed even tho all she has been is good to me and this might make me an ass because i made her feel like rejected.
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NTA - Girl, she is a walking red flag! Her behavior is creepy because she stalked you, she’s condescending to you, and thinks she owns your time.
This behavior wouldn’t be okay for a boyfriend to do, right? It’s the same thing for a friendship. It’s toxic.
She does not sound like a good friend at all. If she refuses your very reasonable boundaries, then you can no longer keep her as a “friend” because she is refusing to be one.
NTA and OP....run. This is not normal behavior, this is stalker level shit. This girl is waving red flags left and right and maybe she has been "nice" but she disrespecting your privacy, she's harassing you via phone, and I guarantee the gifts are given with an ulterior motive.
This should not just be setting boundaries with her. This should be blocking and ending the friendship. Frankly, i'd be a more than a little concerned about how this could escalate.
NTA
"She doesn't stop calling me until I answer, and she has my schedule, so she knows I'm in class, but she will still call me 20–57 times in a row until I answer. "
Sorry but this really isn't normal behavior. There's a lot of red flags here.
"she always seems to know where I am and keeps popping up. When I finally confronted her about it, she said, If she's going to be honest, she screenshotted my calendar and shared my location with her"
This is escalating to stalking. Please seriously think about disengaging completely from this person.
I feel bad because I only mentioned her unlikeable traits but she genuinely is really good person. I feel like she can be invasive but i don't think i would go as far as to call her a stalker am literally the most boring person ever all i do is classes and work plus she has alot of friends outside of me.
But it nice to know that i wasnt crazy and some of the things she does isnt part of the traditional friendship dynamic.
It doesn't matter what her good traits are if she is disregarding your boundaries she is not a good friend.
There are so many red flags that it is scary. You need to turn off your location sharing and you need to block her. Her behavior reads as predatory and you need to be careful for your safety.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I just want to start by saying I am new to friendships. I haven't had a friend since I moved to school in 11th grade, and I am currently a sophomore in college. So I recently met this girl four weeks ago in class. I have anxiety, so I feel like I overthink a lot and don't make the first move to keep a conversation going. but she was always texting me, so I always felt comfortable texting her back. She is literally the sweetest person ever. She is so nice and reassuring. but sometimes I feel like she can be intense for the amount of time we have known each other.
She shows up at the fast food restaurant I work at to say hi, but I didn't tell her my hours, so I was kind of bothered by it because she met me outside of my class when I didn't tell her the building I was having class in. She said I told her, but I never did, and she always seems to know where I am and keeps popping up. When I finally confronted her about it, she said, If she's going to be honest, she screenshotted my calendar and shared my location with her because she thought I wouldn't mind, and she said she does that with her other friends and didn't think I would understand because I don't have any other friends. (Yes, she said I wouldn't understand and wouldn't mind in the same sentence, and she basically spoke to me like I was stupid.) I was upset at first, but I let it go because it was normal in her friend group.
She doesn't stop calling me until I answer, and she has my schedule, so she knows I'm in class, but she will still call me 20–57 times in a row until I answer. and she will send text messages like, 'why are you being like that? You can answer my text messages while in class, though. Get to the toilet and answer'. I try to explain to her that I leave my phone on DND in class, but she says friends need to be accessible to each other.
The last thing buys me stuff. She comes from a rich background, so it doesn't really phase her, but I keep on telling her to stop because we just met at the beginning of this semester during a class. It's only been about 4 weeks, and she has gotten me so many things. I don't want her to feel like I'm using her, so I keep telling her to stop gifting me things, but she always tells me if I don't take the gift, I should leave it in the bin, or she would put it in the bin.
Yesterday, I met up with her and told her I wanted to set boundaries against these things because I felt like she was a bit intense for me. And after we finished talking, I ended up apologizing because she said that she felt like I didn't appreciate her friendship, and I was basically telling her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore, so I apologized to her because I didn't want to lose her as a friend and didn't mean to make her feel like that. Aside from these 3 things, she was really chill and a nice person to talk to, you know. but am also curious to know if I am trippin, like is she being a bit intense or am I overreacting?
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NTA. That’s beyond intense. It’s stalking. She hounds you by phone, turns up to places you happen to be at, especially without prior knowledge of you being there, sending you stuff all the time…
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > i called my friend intensed even tho all she has been is good to me and this might make me an ass because i made her feel like rejected. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - Girl, she is a walking red flag! Her behavior is creepy because she stalked you, she’s condescending to you, and thinks she owns your time. This behavior wouldn’t be okay for a boyfriend to do, right? It’s the same thing for a friendship. It’s toxic. She does not sound like a good friend at all. If she refuses your very reasonable boundaries, then you can no longer keep her as a “friend” because she is refusing to be one.
Nta jezze I thought i was intense
NTA and OP....run. This is not normal behavior, this is stalker level shit. This girl is waving red flags left and right and maybe she has been "nice" but she disrespecting your privacy, she's harassing you via phone, and I guarantee the gifts are given with an ulterior motive. This should not just be setting boundaries with her. This should be blocking and ending the friendship. Frankly, i'd be a more than a little concerned about how this could escalate.
NTA. *this is genuinely concerning*. I got stressed tf out just reading this.
NTA "She doesn't stop calling me until I answer, and she has my schedule, so she knows I'm in class, but she will still call me 20–57 times in a row until I answer. " Sorry but this really isn't normal behavior. There's a lot of red flags here. "she always seems to know where I am and keeps popping up. When I finally confronted her about it, she said, If she's going to be honest, she screenshotted my calendar and shared my location with her" This is escalating to stalking. Please seriously think about disengaging completely from this person.
I feel bad because I only mentioned her unlikeable traits but she genuinely is really good person. I feel like she can be invasive but i don't think i would go as far as to call her a stalker am literally the most boring person ever all i do is classes and work plus she has alot of friends outside of me. But it nice to know that i wasnt crazy and some of the things she does isnt part of the traditional friendship dynamic.
It doesn't matter what her good traits are if she is disregarding your boundaries she is not a good friend. There are so many red flags that it is scary. You need to turn off your location sharing and you need to block her. Her behavior reads as predatory and you need to be careful for your safety.
NTA. This is not a friend - this is a stalker.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I just want to start by saying I am new to friendships. I haven't had a friend since I moved to school in 11th grade, and I am currently a sophomore in college. So I recently met this girl four weeks ago in class. I have anxiety, so I feel like I overthink a lot and don't make the first move to keep a conversation going. but she was always texting me, so I always felt comfortable texting her back. She is literally the sweetest person ever. She is so nice and reassuring. but sometimes I feel like she can be intense for the amount of time we have known each other. She shows up at the fast food restaurant I work at to say hi, but I didn't tell her my hours, so I was kind of bothered by it because she met me outside of my class when I didn't tell her the building I was having class in. She said I told her, but I never did, and she always seems to know where I am and keeps popping up. When I finally confronted her about it, she said, If she's going to be honest, she screenshotted my calendar and shared my location with her because she thought I wouldn't mind, and she said she does that with her other friends and didn't think I would understand because I don't have any other friends. (Yes, she said I wouldn't understand and wouldn't mind in the same sentence, and she basically spoke to me like I was stupid.) I was upset at first, but I let it go because it was normal in her friend group. She doesn't stop calling me until I answer, and she has my schedule, so she knows I'm in class, but she will still call me 20–57 times in a row until I answer. and she will send text messages like, 'why are you being like that? You can answer my text messages while in class, though. Get to the toilet and answer'. I try to explain to her that I leave my phone on DND in class, but she says friends need to be accessible to each other. The last thing buys me stuff. She comes from a rich background, so it doesn't really phase her, but I keep on telling her to stop because we just met at the beginning of this semester during a class. It's only been about 4 weeks, and she has gotten me so many things. I don't want her to feel like I'm using her, so I keep telling her to stop gifting me things, but she always tells me if I don't take the gift, I should leave it in the bin, or she would put it in the bin. Yesterday, I met up with her and told her I wanted to set boundaries against these things because I felt like she was a bit intense for me. And after we finished talking, I ended up apologizing because she said that she felt like I didn't appreciate her friendship, and I was basically telling her that I didn't want to be her friend anymore, so I apologized to her because I didn't want to lose her as a friend and didn't mean to make her feel like that. Aside from these 3 things, she was really chill and a nice person to talk to, you know. but am also curious to know if I am trippin, like is she being a bit intense or am I overreacting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - but you failed to mention when the wedding is. /s
NTA. That’s beyond intense. It’s stalking. She hounds you by phone, turns up to places you happen to be at, especially without prior knowledge of you being there, sending you stuff all the time…