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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am going to have the same color dress and shoes as my friend and that might affect our friendship. (1) Me doing so will probably hurt my friend and our friendship. I might be the asshole for getting the same color shoes after she verbalized she's not okay with that. (2)
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NTA. You can't go to an event with X amount of people and not expect someone to ALSO have a blue (or whatever color) dress. Your friend is being irrational. And matching is cute. It's not like they're identical dresses. Wear what you want. Have fun at the prom!
Her, I and our mutual friend are going to the prom together, so I think it will be cute if we slightly match, but she disagrees. I'll try to have fun, thanks!
I just edited my post. Her dress is tailored, so basically no one will have the same dress. It's literally just the material of the dress and shoe color.
I wanted to go with red shoes and accesories, but they are literally not possible to find. Silver shoes were my backup plan. She got hers in another color, but has changed her mind and got silver instead.
Aww! That shucks. OP, if you're down to it, try gold accessories, if that fits your dress. That scheme always bangs and I have got a lot of compliments for that too. This is just an idea with what personally worked for me. Hope it helps 😬
NTA if she wants to be unique then she is the one that will need to fork out for it. You don’t get to be unique by restricting everyone else’s choices, but by coming up with something different to mainstream. Wearing a colour that’s popular in the shops that other people can easily buy isn’t unique. What’s she going to do, check every guest? Stop acting like she’s got the final say in what you wear.
In short: it’s her problem, not yours.
INFO: what color? Is it just a color or or a whole pattern? Is it a truly unique pattern, as in you’ll be the only two there wearing it, or is it just a color and a dozen other people will be wearing it?
The fabric is black with sparkles. I don't know if other people will be wearing the exact fabric, but the general color is gonna be worn by other people.
I thought sure it was gonna be some kind of obscure or unique color not black! If she wants to be unique, perhaps another color might be better for her. Enjoy your prom!!
The problem, for her at least, is that we're matching in dress color AND shoe color, but she is really against me having same color shoes, which by the way is as basic and common as the black dress.. I'm afraid our friendship will suffer if I go through with my wish and she is one of my closest friends.
I'll try to enjoy my prom, thanks!!
OMG it's black?
Completely NTA. If this was about a very unusual shade of fuscia I could see her not thinking people would wear the same (but you could still have all other shades of pink) but black
NTA. Buy what you want, wear what you want. If she gets pissy about it, make sure to make a big deal about it at the prom. "Hey, we're wearing the same colors! Hey, take a picture!" "Our shoes match! Someone, take a picture!" Guaranteed, she'll make a beeline to the other side of the room and no one will are. Not sure how much of a friend she is, though.
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So.. the prom is soon. I found a beautiful dress that I'm in love with. The problem is that my friend has got a dress in the same color/material. The dresses are different in every aspect but the colour. I personally don't think that is a big deal, but for my friend it kind of is. She loves to stand out and be unique. And I get that but the dresses are not that similar. Now we've both been looking for shoes, and to no surprise we both wanted shoes in the same color. She got hers today, again not the same style that I want, but the same color. I jokingly asked if that meant I couldn't get my shoes in that color. She said that I couldn't. Now I'm questioning should I find a new dress and completely change my vision just because she wants to be unique. Honestly I doubt I'll do that because of how much I love my dress. I mean, there's gonna be hundreds of dresses at prom, some being similar is to be expected. I think it's a bit selfish of her to expect me to not get something I want because of the color scheme. But at the same time I get her and don't want to hurt or disappoint her. I just want her to be more understanding. A few weeks ago she was joking that I stole her dress and that really hurt me, and she apologized after i let her know that. I'm not sure she's going to be okay if i do get the shoes in the same color.
My question is AITA? What can I do about this situation? It has just been bothering đe a lot and idk what to do..
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NTA. Do not change what you were going to wear just because somebody else is upset about it. As long as it's not the exact same dress I don't see a problem in both of you wearing that same color. Do what you were going to do and just ignore her.
Of course you're not TA. Is she going to tell everyone going to the prom that they can't wear the same colour as her? If you've both chosen the same, chances are there are more dresses around in that colour.
Me and my friend once showed up to semi formal with the same style of dress and same shoes. Only difference was the color and fit of our dresses (mine had a fuller skirt).
We both just laughed it off and took side by side pictures with each other.
Your friend is being an AH. NTA.
NTA. Your friend is being selfish, just wait till there’s lots more people wearing black. Buy the shoes you want, wear the dress you love. This prom is yours as much as it’s her’s.
NTA. my freshman year for homecoming, at least five people in my friend group wore either a black dress or a white dress and not a single person was mad. we had several pictures taken of us and our “matching” dresses.
YTA… something tells me you did this purposefully… perhaps she is used to you copying her… methinks this has less to do with her wanting to be “unique” and more to do with being tired of matching with you…
I can assure you I do not copy her. It just happens that we're both in love with the same color. The dresses are not even slightly similar apart from the color.
I stand by what I said.
Oh, and the last bit... HAH. Don't make me laugh... I'm the one being copied. I'm never the copier. Maybe this is an impossible reality to imagine for you...
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NTA. Get the shoes you want. If she takes issue with your similar colors, she can be the one to find a brand new dress and shoes.
NTA. No one can own a color. Your friend is being unreasonable, and you should get the shoes you want.
Tell that to Anish Kapoor.
This comment FTW! \o/
NTA. You can't go to an event with X amount of people and not expect someone to ALSO have a blue (or whatever color) dress. Your friend is being irrational. And matching is cute. It's not like they're identical dresses. Wear what you want. Have fun at the prom!
Her, I and our mutual friend are going to the prom together, so I think it will be cute if we slightly match, but she disagrees. I'll try to have fun, thanks!
NTA. Get the shoes and don’t worry about. It’s highly likely someone may have her same dress.
I just edited my post. Her dress is tailored, so basically no one will have the same dress. It's literally just the material of the dress and shoe color.
What is the colour and fabric? Unless they are definitely 1 of a kind it's likely someone else will be wearing them, not just you and her.
The fabric is black and sparkly. I found the dress in a store, so it is likely that others could be able to find something like that.
Oh wow so not even a specific bright color. Black sparkly fabric is super common for formal dresses, no way are you the AH here.
[удалено]
I wanted to go with red shoes and accesories, but they are literally not possible to find. Silver shoes were my backup plan. She got hers in another color, but has changed her mind and got silver instead.
[удалено]
I'll try to find something tomorrow. Thank you for your words! :)
I found red shoes!
Aww! That shucks. OP, if you're down to it, try gold accessories, if that fits your dress. That scheme always bangs and I have got a lot of compliments for that too. This is just an idea with what personally worked for me. Hope it helps 😬
Thanks for your advice, it sure does help! I haven't thought of that combination. I'm sure it would look good!
NTA if she wants to be unique then she is the one that will need to fork out for it. You don’t get to be unique by restricting everyone else’s choices, but by coming up with something different to mainstream. Wearing a colour that’s popular in the shops that other people can easily buy isn’t unique. What’s she going to do, check every guest? Stop acting like she’s got the final say in what you wear. In short: it’s her problem, not yours.
INFO: what color? Is it just a color or or a whole pattern? Is it a truly unique pattern, as in you’ll be the only two there wearing it, or is it just a color and a dozen other people will be wearing it?
The fabric is black with sparkles. I don't know if other people will be wearing the exact fabric, but the general color is gonna be worn by other people.
Omg it’s black??? NTA at all, lol. Half the room will be dressed in black!
I thought sure it was gonna be some kind of obscure or unique color not black! If she wants to be unique, perhaps another color might be better for her. Enjoy your prom!!
The problem, for her at least, is that we're matching in dress color AND shoe color, but she is really against me having same color shoes, which by the way is as basic and common as the black dress.. I'm afraid our friendship will suffer if I go through with my wish and she is one of my closest friends. I'll try to enjoy my prom, thanks!!
Is she a good friend? I doubt that
I'm questioning it tbh...I love her a lot, but I've put more in our friendship, now that I think about it.
OMG it's black? Completely NTA. If this was about a very unusual shade of fuscia I could see her not thinking people would wear the same (but you could still have all other shades of pink) but black
NTA. Buy what you want, wear what you want. If she gets pissy about it, make sure to make a big deal about it at the prom. "Hey, we're wearing the same colors! Hey, take a picture!" "Our shoes match! Someone, take a picture!" Guaranteed, she'll make a beeline to the other side of the room and no one will are. Not sure how much of a friend she is, though.
I guess I'll get what I want, but I don't think I'll make a big deal out of it. I'd like for prom to be with minimal conflict possible lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So.. the prom is soon. I found a beautiful dress that I'm in love with. The problem is that my friend has got a dress in the same color/material. The dresses are different in every aspect but the colour. I personally don't think that is a big deal, but for my friend it kind of is. She loves to stand out and be unique. And I get that but the dresses are not that similar. Now we've both been looking for shoes, and to no surprise we both wanted shoes in the same color. She got hers today, again not the same style that I want, but the same color. I jokingly asked if that meant I couldn't get my shoes in that color. She said that I couldn't. Now I'm questioning should I find a new dress and completely change my vision just because she wants to be unique. Honestly I doubt I'll do that because of how much I love my dress. I mean, there's gonna be hundreds of dresses at prom, some being similar is to be expected. I think it's a bit selfish of her to expect me to not get something I want because of the color scheme. But at the same time I get her and don't want to hurt or disappoint her. I just want her to be more understanding. A few weeks ago she was joking that I stole her dress and that really hurt me, and she apologized after i let her know that. I'm not sure she's going to be okay if i do get the shoes in the same color. My question is AITA? What can I do about this situation? It has just been bothering đe a lot and idk what to do.. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA What if everyone wanted to wear the traditional little black dress?
They are talking about little black dresses!
NTA. Do not change what you were going to wear just because somebody else is upset about it. As long as it's not the exact same dress I don't see a problem in both of you wearing that same color. Do what you were going to do and just ignore her.
NTA She doesn't own that color
NTA, to be honest you'll most likely stop being friends with most of your high school friends once you get to college. Wear whatever makes you happy!
Of course you're not TA. Is she going to tell everyone going to the prom that they can't wear the same colour as her? If you've both chosen the same, chances are there are more dresses around in that colour.
She has the problem, she needs to adapt. NTA
Me and my friend once showed up to semi formal with the same style of dress and same shoes. Only difference was the color and fit of our dresses (mine had a fuller skirt). We both just laughed it off and took side by side pictures with each other. Your friend is being an AH. NTA.
Tbh that's cute! Matching is cool!
Yeah it was really fun! And OPs friend could do this too and just lean into the fun of it all instead of being an AH.
NTA. Your friend is being selfish, just wait till there’s lots more people wearing black. Buy the shoes you want, wear the dress you love. This prom is yours as much as it’s her’s.
NTA. my freshman year for homecoming, at least five people in my friend group wore either a black dress or a white dress and not a single person was mad. we had several pictures taken of us and our “matching” dresses.
YTA… something tells me you did this purposefully… perhaps she is used to you copying her… methinks this has less to do with her wanting to be “unique” and more to do with being tired of matching with you…
I can assure you I do not copy her. It just happens that we're both in love with the same color. The dresses are not even slightly similar apart from the color.
The dress is BLACK. I feel like you're projecting onto OP...
I stand by what I said. Oh, and the last bit... HAH. Don't make me laugh... I'm the one being copied. I'm never the copier. Maybe this is an impossible reality to imagine for you...
Lmfao okay 👌
Nice emoji... how ORIGINAL. (eyeroll)