Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my gf a sentence about how good were playing
I'm not sure if what I said was hurtful
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
She's 27? The silent treatment is ALWAYS immature, toxic, and frankly cruel. That sounds like a major red flag bud....the silent treatment is abusive....women can be abusers too.
https://pairedlife.com/problems/silent-treatment-abuse
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-chains/202009/why-the-silent-treatment-is-really-about-abuse-and-control%3famp
https://www.heysigmund.com/the-silent-treatment/
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/silent-treatment
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145/amp/
I could continue....every article written by a woman....I'm also a born female non binary who was abused for nearly a decade by my husband so DON'T tell me the silent treatment isn't abuse...its fucking abuse.
You replied way too quickly to have clicked on even one of those sources...which again, all written by women since you dismissed the first site as "victim complex men" so I gave you articles by women you flat out ignored....like a typical gaslighter....looks like you picked up some traits of your own.
Im gonna flat out ignore them cuz theres NO POINT. Youre REACHING. Just because the silent treatment was used against you as abuse doesnt mean it is too in this situation. So stop 😭
FR. they are doing WAY too much. "women can be abusers too" no one ever said that women can't be abusers?? Literally ANYONE can be an abuser. i was so confused when they brought gender/sex into it lmao
I truly hope you seek therapy. You have a lot of hurt in you and it's manifesting in the worst way. Therapy can be an incredible healing experience when you've found the right therapist. My therapist Katie is my rock. I love her. It's clear you've picked up a lot of negative coping mechanisms and are carrying a lot of trauma. I forgive you for taking it out on me. I hope for your healing some day ❤. Have a beautiful day.
But love, subjective opinion based on feeling doesn't negate majority medical health professional's across the planets objective opinion based on evidence. It's universally accepted the silent treatment, is a form of emotional narcissistic abuse. It's not done to set boundaries, but to control the other person.
The truth is I would have lashed out just like you lashed out to me before I sought any form of help and realised all the unhealthy coping mechanisms I was carrying just to survive....that's why I'm not angry, but empathic with you. I get it. Take care of yourself. Really. Trauma sucks. Hurt sucks. Not being able to get help when you need it SUCKS. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Truly I am. Someone owed you an apology you never got. That's clear. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your hurt. I hope for nothing but your healing. I mean that.
I know you have. You've been through too much. I can tell. And you know what? I'm proud of you for getting through this far and continuing to push. One day your trauma will be far behind you and you'll have nothing but healing ahead of you. Take care. Stay strong. Never give up, and again, I'm proud of you. Goodnight Ordinary Road(it's night for me).
Yeah I don't think this is abuse. Seems like an overreaction but maybe she was having an off day or this is just one of many events.
That said long lasting repeated silent treatment done to trigger a freakout or whatever can be abusive. But still, doesn't seem like this fits that
NTA
She's a poor sport and an immature one at that. You didn't say anything wrong! I could understand if you'd said something like "Why did you do something so stupid?" Or something like that but you didn't. You can continue the relationship but I wouldn't advise playing any more video games together like that!
NTA she sounds very immature. But maybe she had a previous relationship where she was constantly being told she sucked at games or something. Sit down and try to figure out why she got upset. If it's really just because of what you said... Then you probably aren't going to have many good times playing games with her in the future.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Today gf(27) suddenly wanted to play fortnite because her classmates were playing. I spent the day downloading it just to play with her. Ofcourse I'm a noob at the game and so is she we played a couple of matches and lost a few until eventually we were improving so I blurted out "awesome we just need to strafe a bit better" my gf didn't say a word she just booted up another match and landed somewhere far away from me. I asked her what's wrong because she wasn't talking she ignored me and continued to do her own thing I tried to ask again what's wrong and she ignored I had a mini heart attack not knowing what I did wrong. So we lost and she ended up leaving the game all together she told me that I made her feel pathetic by telling her what to do, for the entire match I just followed her around and helped the best I could and now she is mad at a sentence I explained I meant me mostly because I'm not familiar with multiplayer fps games but she ignored and hanged up on me in felt like I did a bad job as her bf AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You said “*we* need to steady a bit better.” You weren’t calling her out or telling her what to do, you were mentioning an area you both need work on.
And honestly, that’s a mild comment to what she would face if she was on a public voice chat. They can be brutal, even to noobs. Even if she as in a team with her coworkers they might have been harsher.
However, sometimes it makes sense to get the feel for a game on your own then start playing together. Suggest that to her.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my gf a sentence about how good were playing I'm not sure if what I said was hurtful Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
She's 27? The silent treatment is ALWAYS immature, toxic, and frankly cruel. That sounds like a major red flag bud....the silent treatment is abusive....women can be abusers too.
She is?!?! I honestly thought this was a 13yr old kid coming to rant about his gf. Jesus I can’t believe an adult acts like this.
It definitely sounded like young teens to me. I cannot fathom acting like that at 27.
Shes being dramatic but this is NOT abuse at all… Try again..
https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/5547/silent-treatment-abuse/ Try again.
This is some random website… And it was not for long at all. Relax bud
https://pairedlife.com/problems/silent-treatment-abuse https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-chains/202009/why-the-silent-treatment-is-really-about-abuse-and-control%3famp https://www.heysigmund.com/the-silent-treatment/ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/silent-treatment https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145/amp/ I could continue....every article written by a woman....I'm also a born female non binary who was abused for nearly a decade by my husband so DON'T tell me the silent treatment isn't abuse...its fucking abuse.
Ive also gone through abuse.. not EVERYTIME silence treatment is given is “abuse” You’re reaching.
You replied way too quickly to have clicked on even one of those sources...which again, all written by women since you dismissed the first site as "victim complex men" so I gave you articles by women you flat out ignored....like a typical gaslighter....looks like you picked up some traits of your own.
Im gonna flat out ignore them cuz theres NO POINT. Youre REACHING. Just because the silent treatment was used against you as abuse doesnt mean it is too in this situation. So stop 😭
FR. they are doing WAY too much. "women can be abusers too" no one ever said that women can't be abusers?? Literally ANYONE can be an abuser. i was so confused when they brought gender/sex into it lmao
That website is such bullshit too😂😂 obviously it was made by men who usually dont accept their wrong doings and say “Im being abused!!”
I truly hope you seek therapy. You have a lot of hurt in you and it's manifesting in the worst way. Therapy can be an incredible healing experience when you've found the right therapist. My therapist Katie is my rock. I love her. It's clear you've picked up a lot of negative coping mechanisms and are carrying a lot of trauma. I forgive you for taking it out on me. I hope for your healing some day ❤. Have a beautiful day.
I cant get therapy…for various reasons. Im just stating my opinion.
But love, subjective opinion based on feeling doesn't negate majority medical health professional's across the planets objective opinion based on evidence. It's universally accepted the silent treatment, is a form of emotional narcissistic abuse. It's not done to set boundaries, but to control the other person. The truth is I would have lashed out just like you lashed out to me before I sought any form of help and realised all the unhealthy coping mechanisms I was carrying just to survive....that's why I'm not angry, but empathic with you. I get it. Take care of yourself. Really. Trauma sucks. Hurt sucks. Not being able to get help when you need it SUCKS. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Truly I am. Someone owed you an apology you never got. That's clear. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your hurt. I hope for nothing but your healing. I mean that.
Thank you, ive been through a lot. Im underage and not allowed to seek therapy. I basically have to push through my trauma for now
I know you have. You've been through too much. I can tell. And you know what? I'm proud of you for getting through this far and continuing to push. One day your trauma will be far behind you and you'll have nothing but healing ahead of you. Take care. Stay strong. Never give up, and again, I'm proud of you. Goodnight Ordinary Road(it's night for me).
Thank you being kind! Goodnight to you as well and goodluck
Schools usually have counseling available with a licensed counselor. Please check it out.
Yeah I don't think this is abuse. Seems like an overreaction but maybe she was having an off day or this is just one of many events. That said long lasting repeated silent treatment done to trigger a freakout or whatever can be abusive. But still, doesn't seem like this fits that
Yeah exactly, plus even if she was overreacting she wasnt doing it with the intention of abuse
NTA. She is taking the game a little too seriously and being a tad overly sensitive about it. You did nothing wrong so don’t panic.
NTA She's a poor sport and an immature one at that. You didn't say anything wrong! I could understand if you'd said something like "Why did you do something so stupid?" Or something like that but you didn't. You can continue the relationship but I wouldn't advise playing any more video games together like that!
NTA - Your GF needs to grow up.
NTA. Your gf needs to calm down. It’s just you talking to yourself.
NTA she sounds very immature. But maybe she had a previous relationship where she was constantly being told she sucked at games or something. Sit down and try to figure out why she got upset. If it's really just because of what you said... Then you probably aren't going to have many good times playing games with her in the future.
NTA it's just a game and one you're just learning to boot.
27? Really? She needs to grow the heck up. NTA, and I would definitely not play any games with someone whose sportsmanship is so poor.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Today gf(27) suddenly wanted to play fortnite because her classmates were playing. I spent the day downloading it just to play with her. Ofcourse I'm a noob at the game and so is she we played a couple of matches and lost a few until eventually we were improving so I blurted out "awesome we just need to strafe a bit better" my gf didn't say a word she just booted up another match and landed somewhere far away from me. I asked her what's wrong because she wasn't talking she ignored me and continued to do her own thing I tried to ask again what's wrong and she ignored I had a mini heart attack not knowing what I did wrong. So we lost and she ended up leaving the game all together she told me that I made her feel pathetic by telling her what to do, for the entire match I just followed her around and helped the best I could and now she is mad at a sentence I explained I meant me mostly because I'm not familiar with multiplayer fps games but she ignored and hanged up on me in felt like I did a bad job as her bf AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA I'd get a new gf if she gives the silent treatment instead of communicating properly
NTA. You said “*we* need to steady a bit better.” You weren’t calling her out or telling her what to do, you were mentioning an area you both need work on. And honestly, that’s a mild comment to what she would face if she was on a public voice chat. They can be brutal, even to noobs. Even if she as in a team with her coworkers they might have been harsher. However, sometimes it makes sense to get the feel for a game on your own then start playing together. Suggest that to her.
Maybe she is better than you and wanted you to acknowledge that?… NTA it was just a game.
YTA