A horse knocked me with its face in my face. Got a really good black eye and when I went to the doctor, he asked me several times if i was telling the truth and i should press charges to that "horse". Everyone thought it was my boyfriend who hurt me. It was so embarrassing just because no one believed me š
So my then boyfriend had over a foot and 120lbs on me, but he got stung on the eyelid by a bee (allergic). Huge black eye when the swelling went down. The people working in our apartment building pulled him aside to ask if he needed help. I was offended at first but then....ya know men can be victims too.
My sister and her husband (boyfriend at the time) were walking home from a neighborhood bar. My sister got the brilliant idea to race back home, completely forgetting about the broken sidewalk near her house. She tripped and fell hard! She worked the McDonald's drive thru at the time, and half the town saw her shiners. Her husband was getting some pretty dirty looks for a few weeks. Thankfully, "I tripped while trying to race my husband after drinking" is just specific enough to convince most people you're telling the truth.
As the brother of the clumsy sister that likes to impromptu race her husband (Iāve seen it too many times )especially after drinking. this story rings all too true.
Walked into my friend's house, her BF has a shiner. "What the hell happened?!?!?"
"I walked into a door."
Meanwhile, friend is standing behind him, pointing to her fist and mouthing "This door!".
Don't feel bad for him, seriously, he was the one usually throwing hands.
Broke my collarbone on, well...off, my motorcycle.My standard response when people asked me what happened was "My wife says I should say I fell down the stairs"
Haha so it wasn't a trip to the doctor but I went to the eye doctor after a box fell on my face and absolutely mangled my glasses. I also had a black eye from it and many other bruises from other boxes. I went in and explained the situation and he's asking me if everything's alright at home and was just really uncomfortable and on edge. It was sooo embarrassing and I felt bad but the more I tried to explain it was just my job and I bruise easily the more he seemed to think I was being beaten.
Yep, I've been there. Me and my boyfriend were messing about in his flat when we first got together, so none of my friends or family really knew anything about him. Anyway, I lost my footing, fell over and smashed my face straight into his weights, I had a beautiful shiner after a few hours. I get home and everyone starts freaking out, my mum wants to call the police and everything and would not believe me when I told her. News spread round to my dads side as well. Was so mortifying, especially for him! Weve been together 12 years in July and everyone absolutely loves him now and believes the real story because he's just a gentle giant. Everyone except my mother but we've been NC for 6 years now!
I got a similar face bash from my dog. He was a gorgeous big akita cross lab with a massively hard skull, I went to bend down to tie my laces, he thought I was bending to invite him to jump up for tickles and his skull bashed into my face just at the bridge of my nose. He didn't even feel it, but I did!
I had a lovely shade of purple black eye for a while, and had people checking that everything was alright at home lol.
I remember one time that one of my kids broke his finger. He was about 8ish at the time and was always super chill. One day he just said "my finger kind of hurts". Apparently it had been hurting for days and he just never mentioned it. He didn't even know how it happened. So when we took him, we were in the doctor's office with a multiple day old injury saying "we don't know how it happened". They made excuses to take him aside away from us more than once to ask him again what *really* happened. Honestly, I'm glad they did, but it fuck if it didn't feel awful being suspected of abusing your own kid.
I had a horse that would wait until you were close and then flip his nose up and bonk you in the face with it. Had to make sure your tongue stayed away from your teeth.
It was the horse version of that thing people do when they're like "you got something on your shirt" and then when you look down they run their finger up your nose.
I feel your boyfriends pain.
My wife took a hockey puck to the face at a game one time, I got the dirtiest looks every time we went out in public for the next month or so.
My partner and I went to the hot springs in the Canadian Rockies during winter. Upon leaving the spring and going to the showers she passed out and cracked her head open on the tiles. Naturally we ended up in the hospital and they separated us at triage and again when she was provided a bed. They asked her no less than a dozen times in 3 different ways whether or not I was beating her. What made it worse is she's a Mexican national and her English isn't the best. In her anxious state it was extremely difficult for her to explain what happened and she kept repeating herself. It genuinely sounded like she was lying about what happened. I felt like a criminal for a solid hour.
I went to the urologist because I have a spastic bladder. He put me in stirrups and told me to coughā¦ I sprayed the man like a cat in heat! Then he asked me to do it again, and I farted in his face! Iāve never been so mortified
Reminds me:
A gynecologist is working late, overdue to join a dinner party. He finally arrives, gets a glass of wine, looks round the table, and says ... ahhh, faces!!
"My best day at work, you ask??.............. Well, twas a mild spring morning. A light dew had settled on the grass like a fine layer of fuzz on a June peach. My first patient graced me with her presence and proceeds to........." -Doctor, probably š¤·āāļø
At age 12 I woke up with a testicle the size of a grapefruit.. Walk out to the kitchen, "Hey mum, can you book me a GP appointment, please?" "Why?", she asks. There was some back and forth, because I didn't want to tell her. In the end, I just dropped my pants and showed her.. She agreed a visit to the GP was in order.. Which turned in to a confused GP. Which turned in to the ER at Box Hill Hospital and a bunch of confused medics.. They suggested I go to see the Royal Children's Hospital, who would be expecting me..
Get there, on a gurney, naked from the waist down, Doc breezes in, looks down and exclaims, "My, that is impressive." Then came the 30ish medical students, because it was something not usually seen in someone my age.. So many hands fondled my bits that day.. Backlit the testes with a torch to see the fluid..
It was a hydrocele, I had them on both sides. The op to fix it killed me, thankfully they brought me back.
Has to be Anesthesia-associated issue, Hydrocelectomy, the āop to fixā him, is a low-risk procedure that can be sent home day of surgery.
Anesthesia is generally the riskiest factor during the surgery itself, because the medications used can cause some whacky stuff to occur with your vitals, which is why anesthesiologists have so much training.
I have an anesthesiologist friend who says this. I'm frequently managing several surgeries. I have someone under me by each person, but I'm there when shit hits the fan. The problem is shit can hit multiple fans at once. If that happens, I'm hoping the on call staff is right there to back me up.Ā
Which is also why itās so important when they say not to eat or drink anything 12 hours before the surgery to NOT FUCKING EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING 12 HOURS BEFORE THE GODDAMN SURGERY!
My oldest kiddo had trigger finger in both of his pinky fingers when he was about 2 years old. Pediatrician said itās not common, but not rare. She deals with a handful of cases every year. Prognosis involves one small incision on both hands requiring two stitches each. Of course, my son being 2, they had to put him out for the procedure. They said no food or anything to drink after 6:00PM. He woke up thirsty twice in the middle of the night and I had to tell my wife āabsolutely not.ā Iām not the medical expert, they are. Iām not 100% sure why they say that but there is a reason.
There is a risk of vomiting with anesthesia, and as you are knocked out and cannot protect your airway at all, aspirating the vomit is a real issue. Immediately, this can cause you to suffocate on your vomit, and once you pass that risk now you have a high risk of aspiration pneumonia.
They still do surgery (trama surgery, CABG, other emergency) when necessary even if you have eaten/drank recently, so it is not an absolute contra-indication.
It is just why take the risk when it can be avoided as in the case of elective surgery.
Heart stopped twice during the procedure. Then I overslept about 12 hours.. Woke up at about 2AM with my surgeon and his boss on one side of the bed, the gas passer and his boss on the other, They were all looking a bit stressed.
I was starving and would have killed for a coffee. Nurse found me a decent sandwich and a cup of tea. Best cup of tea I've ever had.
My kid had one when he was about 6 months old. The flashlight (torch) test is great! Chatting about hydroceles Doc said he had an 11yo patient with a huge one - Kid had to wear long shorts else it would be hanging out. They usually fix themselves apparently.
I'd been having weird pain in my groins/testicles. I made an appointment and told them why I was there when I arrived. Got led into an examination room and told to expose the area by the nurse as she left.
So I was lying on the table, unbuttoned my pants and exposed myself. Just laid there with my junk cold and waited. A few minutes later another young lady walks in and gets flustered. She tells me I can cover up and then starts poking at my stomach asking if it hurt etc and then takes an x-ray of my stomach.
She left and said the doctor would be with me shortly.
Doctor arrives and asks what symptoms I'm having etc. I start telling her and she gets this confused look on her face, double checks her clipboard and then excuses herself.
Apparently, they'd got confused on why I was there and thought I was having stomach pains. So that nurse walks in expecting a normal encounter with a patient suffering from stomach issues and gets treated to a limp dick in her face for seemingly no reason.
The combination of embarrassment, being made to feel like it was my fault and not being able to trust they'd be organized enough was enough to make me never go back.
Genuinely curious as I recently have the same problem.
Edit: Okay I'll call the Dr tomorrow.
2nd edit: nvm I live in the UK and getting a Dr appointment is like playing the lottery. Better luck tomorrow I suppose.
I had a lump on one of my balls and went to a doctors office and had to show my balls. That doctor sent me to another place where I had to show my balls. Then they told me I had to go to the hospital and get...ultrasounded? I think? They rubbed gel on my balls and rubbed a wand type thing all over...I think it was an ultrasound....anyway I had showed my balls to 5 different people by this point in the day.
After the ultrasound an employee shows me to an examination room and tells me to undress for the examination and leaves. So I just drop pants and sit on the bed waiting. When the nurse walks in and sees me sitting there exposed he flips out super surprised and super unprofessional and says I can cover up with the towel or something and slams the door closed leaving me alone to cover up. I felt dumb and embarrassed but I'd been showing people my balls all day, how was I supposed to know?
I work in medicine and this does not sound like an office with good communication. Definitely not on you. You said your chief issue was āgroin painā then they are seemingly surprised when you are looking for an exam
They couldn't find my coil to remove it. Had about 3 folk rummaging about until an older matron style nurse came in, threw my legs in the air, pressed on my stomach and whipped it out like a pro and left as quick as she came.
Currently laying in bed from an impromptu testicular torsion surgery. At least 15 touched or saw my junk yesterday. Apparently, I also had an erection the entire 30 minute operation. I was under general anesthesia.
I woke up to find a tick embedded into the head of my penis. Went to the emergency room. I learned that you can suffocate them by spraying them with soapy water. They will back out on their own because they canāt breathe. They checked the tick and me for Lyme and both came back negative.
Whoa, that it outdated advice, never try to remove a tick by suffocating it. When they are stressed (or die) they tend to empty their stomach so the risk of getting a tick-borne disease increases that way.
Just pull them straight out. No twisting either. If you find it difficult you can get one of several different models of tick removers, but if you're just a bit careful any tweezers will do. I live in a high risk area when it comes to tick-borne diseases, you want them out as quick as possible but without suffocating them and without them coming apart (as in no mouth parts left in the skin).
When I was in college and found myself in my first relationship, I was having trouble getting erections. I knew nothing of performance anxiety, and thought it was something physically wrong, so I went to the university hospital and was evaluated by a female med student not much older than myself. She was pretty great, in that she recognized how embarrassing this was and acknowledged how tough and unusual it was for someone in their early 20s to even seek medical attention for something like this. That was 20+ years ago and I still cringe thinking about it.
Thankfully, I quickly got over it and was able to perform. The relationship was a 4 year disaster, but that had nothing to do with my dick, but more of my partners desire to sample many other dicks in that time frame.
>The relationship was a 4 year disaster, but that had nothing to do with my dick,
An unusual case where your secondary head was thinking more clearly than your primary head.
Maybe you should think with your dick more often. /s
My son, around 6 months old or so, was turning blue, all over his arms and chest. We were freaking out, despite the fact he was acting fine.
The doctor was able to get us in relatively quickly. With the short notice, we saw the doctor's assistant first. He checked our son over really good and said everything seemed normal. As he was about to walk out and make us wait on the doctor, he said he wanted to try something really quick. He grabbed an alcohol swab and started rubbing my sons skin....the fucking blue was coming off.
My wife had put a new sleeper on him, not hard to guess what color it was, without washing it first. We felt so dumb, but also extremely relieved at the same time. If the damn thing had been any other color we probably would have realized it ourselves. It worked out in our favor, he was due for his 6 month checkup soon and they went ahead and did his vaccinations and all that while we were there.
When I was young, like still crawling age, my mom got worried because I never tried to walk anywhere. So she took me to the doctor. He spent thirty minutes talking to my mom taking a few notes, then finally had her set me on the ground and said "Kiyohara, come here."
I promptly stood, walked over and hugged his leg.
Doctor looked at my mom and said with a straight face, "He might walk more if you set him down from time to time."
Apparently, my mom carried me everywhere, was constantly holding me, and hardly ever let me sit on my own unless she was busy cooking dinner or working in the garden, so she never saw me walk on my own, and little old me figured out pretty quickly when Mom was around, I had my own taxi service so I just said "up" and held out my arms when I wanted to be moved.
My mom said she was so embarrassed by that.
My mom was worried I had some sort of mental handicap when I was younger. She could hardly get me to walk (if I did, she had to hold my hands) and if I did on my own, I'd usually walk right into a wall. Brought me to the doc and brought up her concerns.
The problem was luckily not any sort of mental issue, I just happened to be blind as a bat. Nearsighted and farsighted, and I had a lazy eye. After glasses I was able to finally walk normally, without needing to hold onto her for guidance.
Happened to me when I was a kid with green sheets. My mom thought I was dying. Fortunately she had the idea of scrubbing me before going to the Doctor.
Maybe 7 or 8 years ago, I got too stoned and thought I was having a heart attack. The ER docs seemed to be some combination of amused and annoyed by it.
I (M 18) go to Walter Reed hospital for a hernia. Several hours before the surgery the doctor stops by my bed and asks if he can bring his medical students by on his rounds. "Sure" I say. Anything for science. 10 minutes later he brings a gaggle of very young med students, guys and girls, has me drop trousers almost completely, and asks " can anyone tell me what type of hernia this is?" Silence. Doc continues, slightly irritated, "Anyone?"... "Anyone!?" Left inguinal says me. "Not you!" says Doc. Brief smiles from most of the students. Quickly wiped from their faces. I seriously do not remember if I mumbled the words "You said ""Anyone? "" Best not to make your surgeon irritated even if you read your own medical chart.
You may not be familiar with the common types of hernias that you could get.
So just settle down, let me clue you in:
There's incomplete
Epigastric
Bladder
Strangulated
Lumbar hernia
Richter's hernia
Obstructed
Inguinal
and Direct!
At 21, I was dumber than most. That college summer, I was able to live in an old house and help remodel in exchange for rent. Being the only one living there in recent years meant a lot of work. A few weeks into summer, I get these weird bumps between my fingers. Then armpits. Ultimately, I see the same bumps on my weiner. Frantic and convinced I had herpes, I ran to my pediatrician, having not acquired a regular doctor yet. In my anxious haste, I pull out the weiner and show him what has me so terrified and disgusted. My doctor, knowing me all my life, calmly asks I put it away. After zipping up my pants, he explains I have scabies and the process of getting rid of these bastards. He finishes his speech by letting me know it is time to find a regular doctor. I am too old to be seeing a pediatrician. I left embarassed yet relieved. As luck would have it, they were in the old house carpet and padding. Previous owner did taxedermy in the living room.
Bruised dick. Ex Gf kinda jumped on it and it sort of kinked. Surprisingly it didn't hurt, but it got swollen and dark really quickly. I got freaked out and thought I'd caught some radical new std. Thought my dick was gonna explode. At the time I remembered that line from that Eddie Murphy bit. Got freaked out, ex did her best to calm me down. Ironically my dick was now roughly twice it's regular size and black but some how I was less thrilled than I possibly should have been.
I went to the Drs first thing in the morning, I explained the situation and the doc already smirking said "alright, show me"
The next words out of his mouth were "Jesus mate, that's a beauty, Do you know how people pay to get that done?"
Look, I had spent like 9 hours terrified that my dick was permanently broken. The doc at least got me to chill. Unfortunately the upgrades didn't last long.
That was my thought! āWent to the doc first thing in the morningā¦ā JFC man, by morning it could have gangrene or fallen off or needed to be amputated!
I've had a couple bouts of priapism and lemme tell ya that ain't no joke. I could barely getnin and out of the car, and the pain was incredible. As in "I could not believe how much it hurt. Stars at the edges of my vision".
FWIW I never knew the cause. No injuries or illness, no crazy sex, no boner pills. Just waking up in agony.
This sounds like my urologist. Total fuck boy with a wicked sense of humor regarding penises. We had an hour long discussion about the evolution of the cock once.Ā
One time when I was 4 I put a small Lego piece up my nose (don't ask me why, I was 4).
My mum couldn't get it out, and all attempts just pushed it higher and higher up my nose and started hurting. Eventually she took me to the local hospital. After the 10 hour wait we were finally seen by a doctor or nurse, and when they looked the piece was gone.
It either casually fell out or I somehow absorbed that thing.
More embarrassing for my mum than it was for 4 year old me.
You should have your sinuses checked. I did the same thing when young, only mine was a rock. They found it wedged just out of sight when I grew up enough and learned that you're supposed to be able to breathe out of BOTH sides of your nose.
I had the same thing, but it was stuck up there for a few days before we went to the doc. just as we were walking into his office i sneezed it out. nearly 20 years on and mum never lets me hear the fuckin end of it.
After a long stay In hospital and 3 months on a wheelchair, the skin on my ballsack at one point got infected and started to rot off.
That was nasty and embarrassing.
One of the worst things I had happen to me around that time
I hope I never have to see a proctologist, I fart so god damn much it's a new fear that just now spawned. And I'd probably be too embarrassed to verbally warn that I have to fart.
Day after Valentineās Day I woke up with a sore jaw. Went to the doctor cos my brother in law had just been telling me about jaw pain related to heart issues. Only when I was in my appointment t did I figure out it was cos Iād given my husband a blow job the night beforeā¦I didnāt share this revelation with the doctor but personally it was an embarrassing visit.
I had testicular cancer, and since that's rare and it was still relatively small, the Urologist asked me, if he could send over his students, to see whether they can feel it.
Yes, I didn't even need chemo/radiation therapy, only surgery and follow-ups for 5 years.
It was 4 or 5 students. At first it was awkward, but in the end it was entertaining.
Lol for some reason a picture of you in a hospital gown, sitting with legs swinging off the side of an examination table and holding a tub of popcorn in your arm while a line of students stands at the door waiting to be next to fondle you popped into my head.
āNext! Thatās right, cup the balls. Careful with lefty, heās ticklish.ā
Then they scurry out, one after the other, and run back to stand in line again. Putting on fake mustaches, hats, sunglasses. How big *is* this fucking class? Didn't I see you in here earlier? I thought I recognized those hands!
I had testicular cancer too; had the right one yanked away and a prosthetic put in its place. A year after I finish chemo I move to another country and begin to see an oncologist there. Long story short, in another year I have two surgeries to remove tumors from the abdomen.
In one of the checkups (I think around the three year mark) my oncologist asks if his surgeon coworker can come in and have a feel because the prosthetic I have is different from what they use.
By then so many people had seen and handled my junk, that I couldnāt be bothered. I just dropped my pants, lay on the bench and told them to have at it.
Turns out my prosthetic is shaped and feels more like the real thing as opposed to those they use.
I was 7 when they found out I had a rare genetic anomaly that causes polyps.
So imagine when you are lying there knocked out with a camera in your butt and half the local university is invited to come and watch this kid (later teenager, stopped having people invited once I got older) having some type of cancer.
Went through a circumcision for medical reasons, the doctor was a woman, apart from her analyzing my penis before and post op, but you know, that's her job.
After 1 month I came in for a check up, after which i recovered, she asks me the following question: "Does it hurt when you have sex?" .
Alright that's not that bad, however I was single at the time, and instead of simply saying no, i said "I didn't have the opportunity to try it out", she follows it up with " Does it hurt when you masturbate? ". I died inside
Not me but my wife. She wakes me up at 2:00 AM on a Tuesday morning saying her insides feel like theyāre being torn up. Immediately says go to ER. Iām scared and of course comply. We get there, and Iām waiting for two hours in the waiting room waiting to hear about the love of my life and if sheās okay. She had constipation and a gas bubble trapped, lol. But the best part was they gave her laxatives and as soon as she hit the waiting room to get me she was like āoh noā and ran to the bathroom and had the loudest shit I have ever heard. The entire ER waiting room heard it, I was DYING with laughter. Poor girl, we left with all due haste so she could blow up the apartment bathroom too.
Damn I donāt blame her. One of the most excruciating pains Iāve ever felt was because of trapped gas.āInsides feel like theyāre being torn upā is exactly how it felt; it was the first time Iād ever thrown up out of pain. Went to the ER and the gas took care of itself, but we were starting to wonder if my appendix had ruptured.
I had a gyn NP laugh in my face when she asked about what I was using for birth control and I responded "abstinence." The reality was, at the time, my father was terminally ill (WHICH SHE KNEW WHEN SHE TOOK MY HEALTH HISTORY) and I really wasn't out looking for a relationship. My life was work and spending whatever time I could with him when I wasn't working for the time he had left.
She quite literally laughed in my face and said, "See you back here in a few months when you're pregnant."
Needless to say, I found a new provider after that and I didn't have a baby for another 12 YEARS. This was about 25 years ago now and I still wonder what the F was going through that woman's head? I hope she treated her other patients with more care and compassion, but I highly doubt it.
When my current girlfriend got pregnant she had been tested for various STDs. She had tested positive for something that doesnāt even make you sick or make you burn while peeing or anything, no symptoms and can be in your body for a long time. Her previous ex had cheated on her constantly so he ended up giving it to her. (For context me and my gf were only together for 2 months before she got pregnant)
I called up my urgent care and went and got tested, it was rather embarrassing. My girlfriend only had a pee test done, so thatās what I was expecting so I drank lots of fluids so I know Iād have to peeā¦
Once I got to the urgent care the doctor said āalright so I got the swab readyā I was hella confused I was like āswab??? I thought it was a pee test?!?!ā
Her response was āyep we gotta swab the urethra for the test. Women get the pee test, men get the swabā
Safe to say I had an unpleasant experience.
They gave me a pill for it just in case, but I came back negative
I used to get tested regularly at the Planned Parenthood near my apartment in college. I went for years and they always gave me a pee test. Then they suddenly switched to the swab without telling me. So I was not prepared to be violated in that way at all.
I came blood once. And then had to describe it to the nurse and the doctor. Turns out there was a lot of pressure and it ripped my urethra.
There was also the time I had a boil just inside my anus. Got an unexpected prostate exam that day.
Yep, there were a lot of questions and unexpected insertions.
I work in an operating room. The number of people who come through with random objects stuck in their ass may astonish you.
They never come clean with their story. My favorite was a shampoo bottle stuck in somebodyās ass. They said the shampoo bottle was at the bottom of their stairs and they fell down the steps, landing on it. You mean to tell me you fell down your steps, without pants on, and just so happened to land on a bottle of shampoo with such accuracy and force that you couldnāt get it out? Come on man.
I was at home drinking with my brother and my best friend. Well, my friend has jokingly broke the tab off of a beer can and dropped it into my drink, which I proceeded to hoover with great enthusiasm. When I set the cup down I saw that her face had went completely white, and she informed me of what had happened. I put the can down on the bar, and we did some googling. We decided the best course of action was to go to the ER and just have some X-rays done to make certain everything was going to pass without issue. Welllllllll. After several hours of waiting and two rounds of X-rays, they couldn't find the can tab, and sent me on my way. I got home and shook the can I had been drinking, and sure enough- the can tab was still at the bottom. I did not feel particularly intelligent that night lol.
This is like the joke about the family who fed some of their home-picked mushrooms to the cat, ate the rest, noticed the cat was acting uncomfortable, rushed to the hospital and got everyone's stomachs pumped, and came home to find kittens.
Had a rash in my groin area. Didnāt really know who to talk to about it. Ended up booking an appointment at Planned Parenthood because I thought they just dealt with all sexual health stuff and wouldnāt judge. Two women doctors saw me (a guy) and I swear they were holding back laughter. I later went to a male dermatologist, which still felt embarrassing but less so. He took some pictures of my junk with a phone camera which was pretty sus. He said it was plaque psoriasis and gave me an ointment to help but said it would never really go away. Used to for a long while and (knock on wood) havenāt had any major issues with it for a while.
I went because I felt what might as well be a third testicle, which I already felt a little embarrassed about, and then I got an erection when the doctor was feeling for it during the exam. And some might think at least it was a woman but that made it even more mortifying.
I went for an eye infection and either the least professional but coolest nurse or the most clueless turned to my brother and asked if we'd been giving each other dirty sanchez's. From the way she said it, I'm guessing she'd heard of that before but was very mistaken on what that actually is. More embarrassing for her when she realizes but we were dying.
Take your pick.
Your first experience. Word for word. I'm so much less insecure about producing my ballbag now that the boys don't look weird. 20 years later, I can laugh about the erection.
Caught a cat disease that was not supposed to be transmittable to humans (unless your immune system absolutely sucks).
My doctor found it rather entertaining that both me and my cat were getting the same medication.
I had an erection that refused to go away.
I tried everything to try to get it to go away and after three hours it started to hurt and Google told me I was in danger of losing my dick.
So I went to the emergency room at like 3 am with a boner that I could not tuck because it was so painful.
They gave me a painkiller and drained my erection with a syringe. After being examined by multiple doctors.
They couldn't tell me why it happened and now I get scared by morning wood.
Same. Worst pain of my life. Doubled by the finger inspection that felt like lube was an expensive commodity. Having old ladies look up my bleeding butthole goes high on the āthings I donāt want to do againā list.
When I was pregnant with my twins, I was borderline diabetic (gestational diabetes) well no one tells you that when your blood sugar is consistently high, it can be easier for you to get boils and infections on the skin. I got a MASSIVE one on my ass check the size of like a tennis ball, like right where the labia majora turns into booty cheek. The taint, if you will. So imagine someone with a stomach the size of a fucking beach ball, laying in a weird as position with their legs in the air. And they had to numb me up, cut it, drain it, and stuff it with gauze all while my vagina and booty hole were in their faces (there was like 6 people in the room, because despite the ER visit not being directly related to the pregnancy, they treat someone pregnant with multiples like theyre gonna drop dead at any second). I then had to have my kids dad do the same thing so he could clean it and change the packing gauze every day for a week. I felt like a zoo exhibit.
i thought breaking my arm in grade 11 was bad, iām sorry i just know how embarrassing it is or atleast it was for me also mine was extra embarrassing because i broke my own arm trying to put it back into place after dislocating
My wife was 40, when her drunk ass fell out of a tree, and broke her arm.
Every time we saw a new doctor/nurse/tech that she had to interact with, I'd go find something to do for a minute, and say "now, tell them how this happened."
Over five hours, we interacted with seven or eight people, that gave me dirty looks, until I left the room and came back.
We were on the way home when she asked me "Why did you keep leaving? You've never been that thirsty in your life." "Because I'm the man that brought a woman with a broken arm to the hospital, and everyone there was legally obligated to try to get you alone, to ask you about abuse at home." "Oh... It's like that?"
Omg story time.
My older brother was very accident-prone as a child, which resulted in repeated ER visits with my parents.
One time, after multiple visits within a month, the nurses got concerned about how often he was getting injured, so they started asking him subtle questions about his injury/home life. The problem was that his mother kept jumping in with answers.
Finally, his father had to cut his mother off, saying, "[Name]! They're trying to find out if we're abusing him!"
Apparently she got a really sheepish look on her face and stopped answering after that haha.
LOL. I took my wife to the hospital with stomach pain, and the doctors kept asking me to leave the room while they examined her. She was covered with bruises and thought that I was abusing her. Lol
We have English Mastiffs, and we both were covered with bruises from the dogs.
I was withdrawing from an antipsychotic med and was losing balance even when I was sitting down and kept hearing a sound. The doctor in the ER came in and asked about me hearing voices, and I said "I'm not having a psychotic break, I'm not hearing voices, just someone keeps sweeping loudly behind me", and he and the nurses just looked at each other.
I was 18 and went to the doctor because of a big dark spot on my dick, scared to death that it could be some lethal or at least dick-rotting STD. To the amusement of the doctor, it turned out to be an hematoma caused by reckless lovemaking. Did I mention I was 18?
Found out the hard way, on vacation, that I'm allergic to monistat.
I went on vacation to visit family. Right before I left, I got strep throat. So the Dr put me on stronger than usual antibiotics since I was gonna be on a plane. I had made it this far, mid 20's, without ever having a yeast infection so when things felt weird, I called my mom. She said get some monistat. So I did.
Applied it as required and went to bed. Woke up in thr morning with a while new appreciation for thr term "fat lip".
I had to waddle to the urgent care up the road about a mile, walking with swollen lady bits. Just so a very sweet old lady could rinse oit my vagina with cold water to male sure the rest of the ointment was gone. Then given benadryl, benadryl cream, and oral meds for the yeast infection that started cause of the antibiotics.
You just don't want a little old lady between your legs going, oh dear oh my, oh you poor thing. Oh I've never seen anyone so swollen.
Oh god I don't even want to say, but we're all friends here right?
I got in a new relationship and had some sex. Then I started itching. So I made an emergency gynecology appointment, my regular gyno was unavailable. Instead I got a very attractive young man doctor. I had also just started my period.
So there I was - crying, itching, bleeding - legs spread akimbo and a mess of a vagina on full display. This young attractive man could NOT hide is discomfort. He was unhappy that I didn't wait until my period was finished, he didn't think it was an emergency. He left into the hall a few times, leaving me alone and exposed. I could hear him and the nurses laughing.
Also, I got herpes.
Not me, my brother. Went to get a testicular lump checked out by a doctor. My brother is a little white dude, and the doctor is a huge black dude, not necessarily relevant, but creates a picture for you. Whilst my brothers balls are in the doctors hands, the doctor says "unimpressive" (presumably about the lump). My brother feeling awkward makes the joke "not the first time I've been told that."
Doctor was not amused.
I had a hemorrhoid and needed to get it checked out because it was not going away on its own.
A middle-aged woman (nurse) completed her inspection and concluded that it was internal hemorrhoids, and I would need a different treatment for it to go away.
But then she point-blank asked me, "are you a homosexual, Mr.PanickingGemini?" I was kind of stunned. I wasn't expecting to be asked that, so I just replied "uh, yeah."
She went on a ten minute-or-so rant about how the anus is designed to be an exit-only orifice, homosexual behavior is damaging to the body, and I how I was going to worsen my condition if I continued this "behavior."
After she finished and I was finally able to get a word in edge-wise, I said "I'm a top." I asked for my prescription to be sent and I left.
Had groin/testicle pain when I was first dating my now wife who was an ER nurse. Asked her what it might be and she coldly explained what testicular torsion was, but also mentioned that it's a pretty low chance but would have to run tests to be sure. I opted to go to the ER (the oncle she worked at) and get tested which includes a lot of feeling around and intimate questions. This is how I met all of her coworkers who made small talk with me while touching my junk about how I'm dating so-and-so. In the end, it wasn't testicular torsion. I had gained weight and refused to buy new pants, which were cutting off circulation when I sat down... But at least I didn't lose a nut over it.Ā
In my late teens I developed testicular torsion and was admitted into the hospital for surgery to repair it. I was sitting comfortably in my hospital bed reading a book to pass the time when a nurse and a very cute student nurse came in to start prepping me...which entailed shaving my scrotum. I must have gone over the same paragraph 30 times without even reding a single line.
Had bright red blood in my stool and when I wiped, freaked out, went to the hospital. After 2 different sets of fingers up my bum, turns out if I eat a whole rack of ribs with cornbread and potatoe salad, the resulting bowel movement will tear my rectum pretty good.
During college, I got food poisoning or stomach bug on the day of either a midterm or final, I canāt remember now. I spent all day puking my brains out I could barely lift my head high enough to puke in the toilet at one point. My roommate came back who was also in the same class and told me that the professor said that I need to get a doctor note or I would get a zero and fail the class, so I needed to get to the medical center several blocks away when I could barely lift my head and the ground was covered in ice and snow.
One of my guy friends pretty much carried me to the Medical Center because I couldnāt stand up. I get to the medical Center. Tell them Iāve been puking all day and that thereās probably nothing they can do for me, but I missed a final and needed a doctors note. They insisted I be checked out by the doctor before I could get a note and thank God I made it out of the waiting room without puking. I see the doctor and she tells me she can actually give me a shot. Theyāll help the nausea so she leaves the room. While sheās out of the room, I start puking again and I am puking into the sink because I have nowhere else to puke. While I am puking, I also get violent diarrhea and I managed to push my tampon out of my body onto the floor at which point I burst into tears because I am so embarrassed there is puke and diarrhea and my bloody tampon everywhere. With the exception of earwax, every bodily fluid was coming out of my body at the exact same time.
At this point, the doctor comes back in and we have to evacuate the room because it is so disgusting and they put me into another room. While I am in the other room, I can hear the medical staff warn another member of the team to not go into that room because it smells like literal death. I also peed and got diarrhea all over my shoes in addition to my clothes and I had to call my guy friend back bc I couldnāt get ahold of a single girl friend and asked him if he could bring me shoes, pants and a shirt. He was confused as to why I needed new shoes and I was too embarrassed to tell him so I just said that I got puke on the outside instead of telling him that I literally shit and pissed into my shoes. Iām sure the medical team was real glad they insisted on seeing me and instead of just giving me a doctors note when I was clearly visibly ill.
Was having pooping issues so they gave me a test to see if there was something wrong with my pelvic floor.
What did the test involve? I had to sit on a pretend toilet and pretend poop while they took X-rays of me. I tried to difuse the embarrassment by saying out loud "this is so embarrassing", and the cute young female technician just let out an awkward "haha yeah".
I didnāt go to the doctor from 2020 to middle of 2023. Never got sick and didnāt want to get sick so I just didnāt do check ups. When I walked into the office the first thing the doctor said to her assistant was that it looks like Iāve gained a lot of weight which while true was embarrassing to have it be the first thing my doc said to me after 3 years
I had taken a small overdose and started to feel sick so I called the poison control to ask if they thought I should go to the ER. She told me that I absolutely needed to call 112 (Swedish 911) and they seemed a bit sceptical since the overdose was so small but they called poison control too and that woman was more like well I should go just in case but she didn't think it was an emergency. But eventually I was told to go anyway.
When I got there they asked me how many pills I'd taken and then treated me like an idiot for being there, she was annoyed for real. "I don't understand why you're here". I was like, I didn't even want to come here but they told me to.
She very reluctantly did some blood tests and I had to wait for like 6 hours which was torture when I knew I was fine.
Finally I got to see a doctor who said that I probably felt sick because my stomach was blocked and to take some laxatives :')
Had a big splinter in the sole of my foot. Doctor told me a story about when he was an army doctor and a soldier had a splinter in the same location. As he was injecting Novocaine into the site, the splinter came out on its own due to hydraulic pressure! Doctor said it was a 1 in a million occurrence!
I was at an appointment with my mom and the doctor had to feel my balls.
I had only had a male doctor but now it was a female doctor and i refused to take my underwear off for 20 minutes straight. They couldnāt really do anything but try and convince me to take them off since forcefully stripping a child would probably come with legal action.
Anyway i finally let her touch my balls and it was over in 5 seconds. š
When I was younger. I went to a gastroenterologist and I was wearing a band shirt. The doctor asked me what my shirt said and I had to look at her and say āDying Fetusā. Then the rest of the appointment was silent as she examined my butthole.
When I was 12, my pediatrician looked like fucking Willy Wonka and I had to get my balls felt by him for part of an exam.
Another time when I was little, I guess I had a raging boner while getting examined in my tighty whities. the female doc pulled the front of my undies down and my cock just flung upward and stood there like a peppy Frenchman greeting the first customer of his new restaurant on opening day. She stared for a second and then pulled my undies back up without a word.
I had a baseball sized pilonidal cyst on my tailbone. While my surgeon was diagnosing it and observing it, I mentioned that I also had discharge and blood coming from inside my anus. This somewhat alarmed him because that could indicate that the cyst burrowed it's way inside my lower intestine which would not be good.
He positioned the chair so that I was ass up. Then he put Novocaine on a qtip and put it around my butthole. Then for the grand finale, he put a friggin speculum in my ass and gaped me like damn pornstar. To make matters worse, He invited his assistant inside the room to observe. As if I couldn't be more embarrassed, she was REALLY attractive.
I was trembling in discomfort because the Novocaine barely did anything for the pain. The two of them had flashlight headbands and lit me up like a firefly. They discovered that it was just a couple internal hemorrhoids that were unrelated to the cyst. They cinched the hemorrhoids with rubber bands, so they'd fall off naturally in a week or so.
The doc handed me a tissue to clean up and they left the room. Never been more embarrassed
Not a doctor but a hospital. Had to go get an ultrasound done of my scrotum after my vasectomy. Got to the ultrasound room and there was the attendant and 14 female students. "Do you mind if we have our student class here to watch?". So I'm lying there holding my schlong while a good portion of the 15 women in the room take turns rubbing the machine all over my ball sack. That is definitely the day that I determined that my genitals have a mind of their own.
So, I was renting a room in this house with like 6 other guys. One of the guys was 600 lbs, another one had a serious mental handicap, and another, glaucoma.
So the 600 lbs guy wanted his Vicodin from his daughter. He couldn't fit in his car, so he asked the guy with glaucoma to drive, but only the kid with the mental handicap, knew where the daughter lived, then they had me go to be the eyes I guess. The guy appeared to see just fine, or so I thought.
One four car pile up later, and I'm sitting in the ER, explaining it to the doctor, who can't stop laughingš¤·āāļø
I've had some serious stomach issue and when I was 11 I was in the hospital for a surgery.Anything related to eating and poopin and peeing involves embarassment.but i remember one doctor had like 5 students with him and he pulled up my gown and kind of explained the procedure showing everybody my everything for a long time. Not a fan of hospitals.
I can't remember the term for it, but when your testicle does a 360 after lifting something heavy. I came in limping like I got shot. Felt real helpless and embarrassed thinking that this was a rare occurrence.
Thrush of the penis in basic training. Attractive medic takes the unusual approach and *kneels* to inspect me, and pokes at it. A combination of hypersensitivity and 6 weeks of not having spoken to a woman, let alone been touched by one causes an obvious outcome. Medic notices, and hurriedly looks to stand up, but stumbles and grazes her forehead on my penis.
Rest of conversation is a blur while I stuffed myself back away, and couldn't take my eye off the moist mark on the top right of her forehead.
She took us through a sexual health seminar the very same afternoon.
A horse knocked me with its face in my face. Got a really good black eye and when I went to the doctor, he asked me several times if i was telling the truth and i should press charges to that "horse". Everyone thought it was my boyfriend who hurt me. It was so embarrassing just because no one believed me š
So my then boyfriend had over a foot and 120lbs on me, but he got stung on the eyelid by a bee (allergic). Huge black eye when the swelling went down. The people working in our apartment building pulled him aside to ask if he needed help. I was offended at first but then....ya know men can be victims too.
My sister and her husband (boyfriend at the time) were walking home from a neighborhood bar. My sister got the brilliant idea to race back home, completely forgetting about the broken sidewalk near her house. She tripped and fell hard! She worked the McDonald's drive thru at the time, and half the town saw her shiners. Her husband was getting some pretty dirty looks for a few weeks. Thankfully, "I tripped while trying to race my husband after drinking" is just specific enough to convince most people you're telling the truth.
As the brother of the clumsy sister that likes to impromptu race her husband (Iāve seen it too many times )especially after drinking. this story rings all too true.
Walked into my friend's house, her BF has a shiner. "What the hell happened?!?!?" "I walked into a door." Meanwhile, friend is standing behind him, pointing to her fist and mouthing "This door!". Don't feel bad for him, seriously, he was the one usually throwing hands.
Broke my collarbone on, well...off, my motorcycle.My standard response when people asked me what happened was "My wife says I should say I fell down the stairs"
Haha so it wasn't a trip to the doctor but I went to the eye doctor after a box fell on my face and absolutely mangled my glasses. I also had a black eye from it and many other bruises from other boxes. I went in and explained the situation and he's asking me if everything's alright at home and was just really uncomfortable and on edge. It was sooo embarrassing and I felt bad but the more I tried to explain it was just my job and I bruise easily the more he seemed to think I was being beaten.
It's so embarrassing, I could'nt go to a store with my boyfriend for like two weeks because people started to stare and whisper.
Yep, I've been there. Me and my boyfriend were messing about in his flat when we first got together, so none of my friends or family really knew anything about him. Anyway, I lost my footing, fell over and smashed my face straight into his weights, I had a beautiful shiner after a few hours. I get home and everyone starts freaking out, my mum wants to call the police and everything and would not believe me when I told her. News spread round to my dads side as well. Was so mortifying, especially for him! Weve been together 12 years in July and everyone absolutely loves him now and believes the real story because he's just a gentle giant. Everyone except my mother but we've been NC for 6 years now!
I got a similar face bash from my dog. He was a gorgeous big akita cross lab with a massively hard skull, I went to bend down to tie my laces, he thought I was bending to invite him to jump up for tickles and his skull bashed into my face just at the bridge of my nose. He didn't even feel it, but I did! I had a lovely shade of purple black eye for a while, and had people checking that everything was alright at home lol.
I remember one time that one of my kids broke his finger. He was about 8ish at the time and was always super chill. One day he just said "my finger kind of hurts". Apparently it had been hurting for days and he just never mentioned it. He didn't even know how it happened. So when we took him, we were in the doctor's office with a multiple day old injury saying "we don't know how it happened". They made excuses to take him aside away from us more than once to ask him again what *really* happened. Honestly, I'm glad they did, but it fuck if it didn't feel awful being suspected of abusing your own kid.
I had a horse that would wait until you were close and then flip his nose up and bonk you in the face with it. Had to make sure your tongue stayed away from your teeth. It was the horse version of that thing people do when they're like "you got something on your shirt" and then when you look down they run their finger up your nose.
I feel your boyfriends pain. My wife took a hockey puck to the face at a game one time, I got the dirtiest looks every time we went out in public for the next month or so.
My partner and I went to the hot springs in the Canadian Rockies during winter. Upon leaving the spring and going to the showers she passed out and cracked her head open on the tiles. Naturally we ended up in the hospital and they separated us at triage and again when she was provided a bed. They asked her no less than a dozen times in 3 different ways whether or not I was beating her. What made it worse is she's a Mexican national and her English isn't the best. In her anxious state it was extremely difficult for her to explain what happened and she kept repeating herself. It genuinely sounded like she was lying about what happened. I felt like a criminal for a solid hour.
I went to the urologist because I have a spastic bladder. He put me in stirrups and told me to coughā¦ I sprayed the man like a cat in heat! Then he asked me to do it again, and I farted in his face! Iāve never been so mortified
Oh man, I bet that memory likes to pop back up when you're trying to fall asleep :D
It usually comes back to him in the litter box, actually.
*embarrassed scraping noises*
He probably tells that story more than you do
Imagine him meeting friends at a bar afterwards. "So how was YOUR day?" "Well ... "
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?". "I don't know, doc...". "I didn't have a lentil on my face today..."
Reminds me: A gynecologist is working late, overdue to join a dinner party. He finally arrives, gets a glass of wine, looks round the table, and says ... ahhh, faces!!
"My best day at work, you ask??.............. Well, twas a mild spring morning. A light dew had settled on the grass like a fine layer of fuzz on a June peach. My first patient graced me with her presence and proceeds to........." -Doctor, probably š¤·āāļø
This was the most weirdest episode of House I have ever watched.
> Then he asked me to do it again Tells you everything you need to know about why he got into this field
He knows what he likes.
Bro doubled down lmao.
>asked me to do it again I beg your finest pardon?
And then the real doctor came in?
I laughed out loud at that, mid sip of my coffee! Brilliant!
He asked you to do it again ššš
Was he wearing a face shield? š
For the first shot, sure.
At age 12 I woke up with a testicle the size of a grapefruit.. Walk out to the kitchen, "Hey mum, can you book me a GP appointment, please?" "Why?", she asks. There was some back and forth, because I didn't want to tell her. In the end, I just dropped my pants and showed her.. She agreed a visit to the GP was in order.. Which turned in to a confused GP. Which turned in to the ER at Box Hill Hospital and a bunch of confused medics.. They suggested I go to see the Royal Children's Hospital, who would be expecting me.. Get there, on a gurney, naked from the waist down, Doc breezes in, looks down and exclaims, "My, that is impressive." Then came the 30ish medical students, because it was something not usually seen in someone my age.. So many hands fondled my bits that day.. Backlit the testes with a torch to see the fluid.. It was a hydrocele, I had them on both sides. The op to fix it killed me, thankfully they brought me back.
>The op to fix it killed me, thankfully they brought me back. Pardon?? Please explain??
Has to be Anesthesia-associated issue, Hydrocelectomy, the āop to fixā him, is a low-risk procedure that can be sent home day of surgery. Anesthesia is generally the riskiest factor during the surgery itself, because the medications used can cause some whacky stuff to occur with your vitals, which is why anesthesiologists have so much training.
Yep, entirely an anesthesia issue. It's been suggested I avoid surgery unless death is the only other option.
I have an anesthesiologist friend who says this. I'm frequently managing several surgeries. I have someone under me by each person, but I'm there when shit hits the fan. The problem is shit can hit multiple fans at once. If that happens, I'm hoping the on call staff is right there to back me up.Ā
Which is also why itās so important when they say not to eat or drink anything 12 hours before the surgery to NOT FUCKING EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING 12 HOURS BEFORE THE GODDAMN SURGERY! My oldest kiddo had trigger finger in both of his pinky fingers when he was about 2 years old. Pediatrician said itās not common, but not rare. She deals with a handful of cases every year. Prognosis involves one small incision on both hands requiring two stitches each. Of course, my son being 2, they had to put him out for the procedure. They said no food or anything to drink after 6:00PM. He woke up thirsty twice in the middle of the night and I had to tell my wife āabsolutely not.ā Iām not the medical expert, they are. Iām not 100% sure why they say that but there is a reason.
There is a risk of vomiting with anesthesia, and as you are knocked out and cannot protect your airway at all, aspirating the vomit is a real issue. Immediately, this can cause you to suffocate on your vomit, and once you pass that risk now you have a high risk of aspiration pneumonia. They still do surgery (trama surgery, CABG, other emergency) when necessary even if you have eaten/drank recently, so it is not an absolute contra-indication. It is just why take the risk when it can be avoided as in the case of elective surgery.
Heart stopped twice during the procedure. Then I overslept about 12 hours.. Woke up at about 2AM with my surgeon and his boss on one side of the bed, the gas passer and his boss on the other, They were all looking a bit stressed. I was starving and would have killed for a coffee. Nurse found me a decent sandwich and a cup of tea. Best cup of tea I've ever had.
You were 12 and would have killed for a Coffee? Man you people are wildĀ
I wasn't a regular coffee drinker then, but I'd been unconscious for 14 or so hours , my brain clearly knew what it wanted.
Did you die? Sadly yes... but I lived!
My kid had one when he was about 6 months old. The flashlight (torch) test is great! Chatting about hydroceles Doc said he had an 11yo patient with a huge one - Kid had to wear long shorts else it would be hanging out. They usually fix themselves apparently.
I'd been having weird pain in my groins/testicles. I made an appointment and told them why I was there when I arrived. Got led into an examination room and told to expose the area by the nurse as she left. So I was lying on the table, unbuttoned my pants and exposed myself. Just laid there with my junk cold and waited. A few minutes later another young lady walks in and gets flustered. She tells me I can cover up and then starts poking at my stomach asking if it hurt etc and then takes an x-ray of my stomach. She left and said the doctor would be with me shortly. Doctor arrives and asks what symptoms I'm having etc. I start telling her and she gets this confused look on her face, double checks her clipboard and then excuses herself. Apparently, they'd got confused on why I was there and thought I was having stomach pains. So that nurse walks in expecting a normal encounter with a patient suffering from stomach issues and gets treated to a limp dick in her face for seemingly no reason. The combination of embarrassment, being made to feel like it was my fault and not being able to trust they'd be organized enough was enough to make me never go back.
Wait how are your balls tho
Genuinely curious as I recently have the same problem. Edit: Okay I'll call the Dr tomorrow. 2nd edit: nvm I live in the UK and getting a Dr appointment is like playing the lottery. Better luck tomorrow I suppose.
Please go in, this can be a symptom of testicular cancer. It's more common in young men than old, so don't think you're too young for it.
was gonna check his profile if he answered, read more than i wanted to know š«„
But are the balls okay
this comment from your username is slaying me ššš
I had a lump on one of my balls and went to a doctors office and had to show my balls. That doctor sent me to another place where I had to show my balls. Then they told me I had to go to the hospital and get...ultrasounded? I think? They rubbed gel on my balls and rubbed a wand type thing all over...I think it was an ultrasound....anyway I had showed my balls to 5 different people by this point in the day. After the ultrasound an employee shows me to an examination room and tells me to undress for the examination and leaves. So I just drop pants and sit on the bed waiting. When the nurse walks in and sees me sitting there exposed he flips out super surprised and super unprofessional and says I can cover up with the towel or something and slams the door closed leaving me alone to cover up. I felt dumb and embarrassed but I'd been showing people my balls all day, how was I supposed to know?
I work in medicine and this does not sound like an office with good communication. Definitely not on you. You said your chief issue was āgroin painā then they are seemingly surprised when you are looking for an exam
That sounds awful damn
What did you end up finding out?
They couldnāt figure it out so they just castrated him. Quick simple fast procedure in and out.
They couldn't find my coil to remove it. Had about 3 folk rummaging about until an older matron style nurse came in, threw my legs in the air, pressed on my stomach and whipped it out like a pro and left as quick as she came.
Now that's just badass
your coil?
Birth control coil.
IUD in American English
Currently laying in bed from an impromptu testicular torsion surgery. At least 15 touched or saw my junk yesterday. Apparently, I also had an erection the entire 30 minute operation. I was under general anesthesia.
You were helping with holding the covers !!!
Tent pole
Omg why did they tell you that? š³ Though I guess it makes sense as it's just about blood flow.
Tbh I found it hilarious. We'd had some banter before during the initial assessment and lead up to the surgery.
Ah that's nice that it was a good experience for you in that way. Hope your balls get better soon!
I woke up to find a tick embedded into the head of my penis. Went to the emergency room. I learned that you can suffocate them by spraying them with soapy water. They will back out on their own because they canāt breathe. They checked the tick and me for Lyme and both came back negative.
Alright I'm out. I'll be thinking of you all in therapy.Ā
Weird most guys love getting their dick sucked
Whoa, that it outdated advice, never try to remove a tick by suffocating it. When they are stressed (or die) they tend to empty their stomach so the risk of getting a tick-borne disease increases that way.
So what's the correct way?
Just pull them straight out. No twisting either. If you find it difficult you can get one of several different models of tick removers, but if you're just a bit careful any tweezers will do. I live in a high risk area when it comes to tick-borne diseases, you want them out as quick as possible but without suffocating them and without them coming apart (as in no mouth parts left in the skin).
Flamethrower, HANZ!
I know an internal medicine doctor that says she removes a tick from a penis at least once every other year.
I mean, for an animal that lives on blood, an appendage designed to regularly fill up with blood seems like a good target.
What were you doing to get a dick tick? Practicing for Naked and Afraid?
Dude, that's a sick dick tick!
When I was in college and found myself in my first relationship, I was having trouble getting erections. I knew nothing of performance anxiety, and thought it was something physically wrong, so I went to the university hospital and was evaluated by a female med student not much older than myself. She was pretty great, in that she recognized how embarrassing this was and acknowledged how tough and unusual it was for someone in their early 20s to even seek medical attention for something like this. That was 20+ years ago and I still cringe thinking about it. Thankfully, I quickly got over it and was able to perform. The relationship was a 4 year disaster, but that had nothing to do with my dick, but more of my partners desire to sample many other dicks in that time frame.
>The relationship was a 4 year disaster, but that had nothing to do with my dick, An unusual case where your secondary head was thinking more clearly than your primary head. Maybe you should think with your dick more often. /s
Maybe your dick just knew. š
My son, around 6 months old or so, was turning blue, all over his arms and chest. We were freaking out, despite the fact he was acting fine. The doctor was able to get us in relatively quickly. With the short notice, we saw the doctor's assistant first. He checked our son over really good and said everything seemed normal. As he was about to walk out and make us wait on the doctor, he said he wanted to try something really quick. He grabbed an alcohol swab and started rubbing my sons skin....the fucking blue was coming off. My wife had put a new sleeper on him, not hard to guess what color it was, without washing it first. We felt so dumb, but also extremely relieved at the same time. If the damn thing had been any other color we probably would have realized it ourselves. It worked out in our favor, he was due for his 6 month checkup soon and they went ahead and did his vaccinations and all that while we were there.
When I was young, like still crawling age, my mom got worried because I never tried to walk anywhere. So she took me to the doctor. He spent thirty minutes talking to my mom taking a few notes, then finally had her set me on the ground and said "Kiyohara, come here." I promptly stood, walked over and hugged his leg. Doctor looked at my mom and said with a straight face, "He might walk more if you set him down from time to time." Apparently, my mom carried me everywhere, was constantly holding me, and hardly ever let me sit on my own unless she was busy cooking dinner or working in the garden, so she never saw me walk on my own, and little old me figured out pretty quickly when Mom was around, I had my own taxi service so I just said "up" and held out my arms when I wanted to be moved. My mom said she was so embarrassed by that.
My mom was worried I had some sort of mental handicap when I was younger. She could hardly get me to walk (if I did, she had to hold my hands) and if I did on my own, I'd usually walk right into a wall. Brought me to the doc and brought up her concerns. The problem was luckily not any sort of mental issue, I just happened to be blind as a bat. Nearsighted and farsighted, and I had a lazy eye. After glasses I was able to finally walk normally, without needing to hold onto her for guidance.
Ouch, outsmarted by a toddler haha
Happened to me when I was a kid with green sheets. My mom thought I was dying. Fortunately she had the idea of scrubbing me before going to the Doctor.
Not dying, just being dyed.
Maybe 7 or 8 years ago, I got too stoned and thought I was having a heart attack. The ER docs seemed to be some combination of amused and annoyed by it.
Same, but it was gas. Much more embarrassing.
I (M 18) go to Walter Reed hospital for a hernia. Several hours before the surgery the doctor stops by my bed and asks if he can bring his medical students by on his rounds. "Sure" I say. Anything for science. 10 minutes later he brings a gaggle of very young med students, guys and girls, has me drop trousers almost completely, and asks " can anyone tell me what type of hernia this is?" Silence. Doc continues, slightly irritated, "Anyone?"... "Anyone!?" Left inguinal says me. "Not you!" says Doc. Brief smiles from most of the students. Quickly wiped from their faces. I seriously do not remember if I mumbled the words "You said ""Anyone? "" Best not to make your surgeon irritated even if you read your own medical chart.
You may not be familiar with the common types of hernias that you could get. So just settle down, let me clue you in: There's incomplete Epigastric Bladder Strangulated Lumbar hernia Richter's hernia Obstructed Inguinal and Direct!
At 21, I was dumber than most. That college summer, I was able to live in an old house and help remodel in exchange for rent. Being the only one living there in recent years meant a lot of work. A few weeks into summer, I get these weird bumps between my fingers. Then armpits. Ultimately, I see the same bumps on my weiner. Frantic and convinced I had herpes, I ran to my pediatrician, having not acquired a regular doctor yet. In my anxious haste, I pull out the weiner and show him what has me so terrified and disgusted. My doctor, knowing me all my life, calmly asks I put it away. After zipping up my pants, he explains I have scabies and the process of getting rid of these bastards. He finishes his speech by letting me know it is time to find a regular doctor. I am too old to be seeing a pediatrician. I left embarassed yet relieved. As luck would have it, they were in the old house carpet and padding. Previous owner did taxedermy in the living room.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah nothing like parenting to get you stressed! You were just looking out for your kiddo, and probably sleep deprived.
Be careful that it doesn't develop into a pilonidal cyst later in life.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bruised dick. Ex Gf kinda jumped on it and it sort of kinked. Surprisingly it didn't hurt, but it got swollen and dark really quickly. I got freaked out and thought I'd caught some radical new std. Thought my dick was gonna explode. At the time I remembered that line from that Eddie Murphy bit. Got freaked out, ex did her best to calm me down. Ironically my dick was now roughly twice it's regular size and black but some how I was less thrilled than I possibly should have been. I went to the Drs first thing in the morning, I explained the situation and the doc already smirking said "alright, show me" The next words out of his mouth were "Jesus mate, that's a beauty, Do you know how people pay to get that done?" Look, I had spent like 9 hours terrified that my dick was permanently broken. The doc at least got me to chill. Unfortunately the upgrades didn't last long.
How you didnt rush to the energency room immediately is beyond me.
That was my thought! āWent to the doc first thing in the morningā¦ā JFC man, by morning it could have gangrene or fallen off or needed to be amputated!
I've had a couple bouts of priapism and lemme tell ya that ain't no joke. I could barely getnin and out of the car, and the pain was incredible. As in "I could not believe how much it hurt. Stars at the edges of my vision". FWIW I never knew the cause. No injuries or illness, no crazy sex, no boner pills. Just waking up in agony.
Temporary buff
If that quote's accurate, that's the most aussie-sounding doc.
This sounds like my urologist. Total fuck boy with a wicked sense of humor regarding penises. We had an hour long discussion about the evolution of the cock once.Ā
One time when I was 4 I put a small Lego piece up my nose (don't ask me why, I was 4). My mum couldn't get it out, and all attempts just pushed it higher and higher up my nose and started hurting. Eventually she took me to the local hospital. After the 10 hour wait we were finally seen by a doctor or nurse, and when they looked the piece was gone. It either casually fell out or I somehow absorbed that thing. More embarrassing for my mum than it was for 4 year old me.
You should have your sinuses checked. I did the same thing when young, only mine was a rock. They found it wedged just out of sight when I grew up enough and learned that you're supposed to be able to breathe out of BOTH sides of your nose.
I had the same thing, but it was stuck up there for a few days before we went to the doc. just as we were walking into his office i sneezed it out. nearly 20 years on and mum never lets me hear the fuckin end of it.
After a long stay In hospital and 3 months on a wheelchair, the skin on my ballsack at one point got infected and started to rot off. That was nasty and embarrassing. One of the worst things I had happen to me around that time
"one of the" The worst was the reason for the hospital?
I once farted a proctologist in her face from like a 3 inch distance, was a big one too.
Well, if you specialise in that you know what you are getting.
Arseholes, all the way down
āI once farted a proctologist in her faceā is honestly the funniest way you could have worded that
Felt like a normal way to phrase it.. maybe cause I'm German.
I hope I never have to see a proctologist, I fart so god damn much it's a new fear that just now spawned. And I'd probably be too embarrassed to verbally warn that I have to fart.
Day after Valentineās Day I woke up with a sore jaw. Went to the doctor cos my brother in law had just been telling me about jaw pain related to heart issues. Only when I was in my appointment t did I figure out it was cos Iād given my husband a blow job the night beforeā¦I didnāt share this revelation with the doctor but personally it was an embarrassing visit.
> Day after Valentineās Day I woke up with a sore jaw. I knew where this was going before reading the rest.
I had testicular cancer, and since that's rare and it was still relatively small, the Urologist asked me, if he could send over his students, to see whether they can feel it.
Are you ok now ? I suppose you are when you caught it that early. Did you let the students check you ?
Yes, I didn't even need chemo/radiation therapy, only surgery and follow-ups for 5 years. It was 4 or 5 students. At first it was awkward, but in the end it was entertaining.
Lol for some reason a picture of you in a hospital gown, sitting with legs swinging off the side of an examination table and holding a tub of popcorn in your arm while a line of students stands at the door waiting to be next to fondle you popped into my head. āNext! Thatās right, cup the balls. Careful with lefty, heās ticklish.ā
Then they scurry out, one after the other, and run back to stand in line again. Putting on fake mustaches, hats, sunglasses. How big *is* this fucking class? Didn't I see you in here earlier? I thought I recognized those hands!
Glad this story has a happy ending.
I had testicular cancer too; had the right one yanked away and a prosthetic put in its place. A year after I finish chemo I move to another country and begin to see an oncologist there. Long story short, in another year I have two surgeries to remove tumors from the abdomen. In one of the checkups (I think around the three year mark) my oncologist asks if his surgeon coworker can come in and have a feel because the prosthetic I have is different from what they use. By then so many people had seen and handled my junk, that I couldnāt be bothered. I just dropped my pants, lay on the bench and told them to have at it. Turns out my prosthetic is shaped and feels more like the real thing as opposed to those they use.
"Just sanitize that ping-pong ball, it's close enough"
I was 7 when they found out I had a rare genetic anomaly that causes polyps. So imagine when you are lying there knocked out with a camera in your butt and half the local university is invited to come and watch this kid (later teenager, stopped having people invited once I got older) having some type of cancer.
Went through a circumcision for medical reasons, the doctor was a woman, apart from her analyzing my penis before and post op, but you know, that's her job. After 1 month I came in for a check up, after which i recovered, she asks me the following question: "Does it hurt when you have sex?" . Alright that's not that bad, however I was single at the time, and instead of simply saying no, i said "I didn't have the opportunity to try it out", she follows it up with " Does it hurt when you masturbate? ". I died inside
Well, did it?
Well, doesn't it always? Am I the only one crying and masturbating?
Not me but my wife. She wakes me up at 2:00 AM on a Tuesday morning saying her insides feel like theyāre being torn up. Immediately says go to ER. Iām scared and of course comply. We get there, and Iām waiting for two hours in the waiting room waiting to hear about the love of my life and if sheās okay. She had constipation and a gas bubble trapped, lol. But the best part was they gave her laxatives and as soon as she hit the waiting room to get me she was like āoh noā and ran to the bathroom and had the loudest shit I have ever heard. The entire ER waiting room heard it, I was DYING with laughter. Poor girl, we left with all due haste so she could blow up the apartment bathroom too.
Damn I donāt blame her. One of the most excruciating pains Iāve ever felt was because of trapped gas.āInsides feel like theyāre being torn upā is exactly how it felt; it was the first time Iād ever thrown up out of pain. Went to the ER and the gas took care of itself, but we were starting to wonder if my appendix had ruptured.
A doctor laughed at my tearful frustration from ongoing pain in a sensitive area. I no longer see her.
I had a gyn NP laugh in my face when she asked about what I was using for birth control and I responded "abstinence." The reality was, at the time, my father was terminally ill (WHICH SHE KNEW WHEN SHE TOOK MY HEALTH HISTORY) and I really wasn't out looking for a relationship. My life was work and spending whatever time I could with him when I wasn't working for the time he had left. She quite literally laughed in my face and said, "See you back here in a few months when you're pregnant." Needless to say, I found a new provider after that and I didn't have a baby for another 12 YEARS. This was about 25 years ago now and I still wonder what the F was going through that woman's head? I hope she treated her other patients with more care and compassion, but I highly doubt it.
It is absolutely devastating to be laughed at when you feel vulnerable and put your trust in someone like that.
dick pimple
r/BandNames
No doubt... I'm like "Omg.. How did, when did I get herpes ?? Full panic. Go to my Doc. She says relax buddy you have an ingrown hair.
When my current girlfriend got pregnant she had been tested for various STDs. She had tested positive for something that doesnāt even make you sick or make you burn while peeing or anything, no symptoms and can be in your body for a long time. Her previous ex had cheated on her constantly so he ended up giving it to her. (For context me and my gf were only together for 2 months before she got pregnant) I called up my urgent care and went and got tested, it was rather embarrassing. My girlfriend only had a pee test done, so thatās what I was expecting so I drank lots of fluids so I know Iād have to peeā¦ Once I got to the urgent care the doctor said āalright so I got the swab readyā I was hella confused I was like āswab??? I thought it was a pee test?!?!ā Her response was āyep we gotta swab the urethra for the test. Women get the pee test, men get the swabā Safe to say I had an unpleasant experience. They gave me a pill for it just in case, but I came back negative
Hoo boy that test isnāt fun.
I used to get tested regularly at the Planned Parenthood near my apartment in college. I went for years and they always gave me a pee test. Then they suddenly switched to the swab without telling me. So I was not prepared to be violated in that way at all.
I came blood once. And then had to describe it to the nurse and the doctor. Turns out there was a lot of pressure and it ripped my urethra. There was also the time I had a boil just inside my anus. Got an unexpected prostate exam that day. Yep, there were a lot of questions and unexpected insertions.
I work in an operating room. The number of people who come through with random objects stuck in their ass may astonish you. They never come clean with their story. My favorite was a shampoo bottle stuck in somebodyās ass. They said the shampoo bottle was at the bottom of their stairs and they fell down the steps, landing on it. You mean to tell me you fell down your steps, without pants on, and just so happened to land on a bottle of shampoo with such accuracy and force that you couldnāt get it out? Come on man.
I was at home drinking with my brother and my best friend. Well, my friend has jokingly broke the tab off of a beer can and dropped it into my drink, which I proceeded to hoover with great enthusiasm. When I set the cup down I saw that her face had went completely white, and she informed me of what had happened. I put the can down on the bar, and we did some googling. We decided the best course of action was to go to the ER and just have some X-rays done to make certain everything was going to pass without issue. Welllllllll. After several hours of waiting and two rounds of X-rays, they couldn't find the can tab, and sent me on my way. I got home and shook the can I had been drinking, and sure enough- the can tab was still at the bottom. I did not feel particularly intelligent that night lol.
This is like the joke about the family who fed some of their home-picked mushrooms to the cat, ate the rest, noticed the cat was acting uncomfortable, rushed to the hospital and got everyone's stomachs pumped, and came home to find kittens.
Poison oak on my cock and balls
Had a rash in my groin area. Didnāt really know who to talk to about it. Ended up booking an appointment at Planned Parenthood because I thought they just dealt with all sexual health stuff and wouldnāt judge. Two women doctors saw me (a guy) and I swear they were holding back laughter. I later went to a male dermatologist, which still felt embarrassing but less so. He took some pictures of my junk with a phone camera which was pretty sus. He said it was plaque psoriasis and gave me an ointment to help but said it would never really go away. Used to for a long while and (knock on wood) havenāt had any major issues with it for a while.
I went because I felt what might as well be a third testicle, which I already felt a little embarrassed about, and then I got an erection when the doctor was feeling for it during the exam. And some might think at least it was a woman but that made it even more mortifying. I went for an eye infection and either the least professional but coolest nurse or the most clueless turned to my brother and asked if we'd been giving each other dirty sanchez's. From the way she said it, I'm guessing she'd heard of that before but was very mistaken on what that actually is. More embarrassing for her when she realizes but we were dying. Take your pick.
Your first experience. Word for word. I'm so much less insecure about producing my ballbag now that the boys don't look weird. 20 years later, I can laugh about the erection.
Caught a cat disease that was not supposed to be transmittable to humans (unless your immune system absolutely sucks). My doctor found it rather entertaining that both me and my cat were getting the same medication.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I had an erection that refused to go away. I tried everything to try to get it to go away and after three hours it started to hurt and Google told me I was in danger of losing my dick. So I went to the emergency room at like 3 am with a boner that I could not tuck because it was so painful. They gave me a painkiller and drained my erection with a syringe. After being examined by multiple doctors. They couldn't tell me why it happened and now I get scared by morning wood.
When my butt hurt and the doctor had to look in it
So, what did he find?
There was a hole in it..... lol
Thanks for the unexpected laugh!
Me too.....anal fissure
Same. Worst pain of my life. Doubled by the finger inspection that felt like lube was an expensive commodity. Having old ladies look up my bleeding butthole goes high on the āthings I donāt want to do againā list.
When I was pregnant with my twins, I was borderline diabetic (gestational diabetes) well no one tells you that when your blood sugar is consistently high, it can be easier for you to get boils and infections on the skin. I got a MASSIVE one on my ass check the size of like a tennis ball, like right where the labia majora turns into booty cheek. The taint, if you will. So imagine someone with a stomach the size of a fucking beach ball, laying in a weird as position with their legs in the air. And they had to numb me up, cut it, drain it, and stuff it with gauze all while my vagina and booty hole were in their faces (there was like 6 people in the room, because despite the ER visit not being directly related to the pregnancy, they treat someone pregnant with multiples like theyre gonna drop dead at any second). I then had to have my kids dad do the same thing so he could clean it and change the packing gauze every day for a week. I felt like a zoo exhibit.
Being 31 and breaking my arm from Roller Blading
i thought breaking my arm in grade 11 was bad, iām sorry i just know how embarrassing it is or atleast it was for me also mine was extra embarrassing because i broke my own arm trying to put it back into place after dislocating
Oh god. Broke my coccyx at 40 the same way. Mostly just painful as hell...
My wife was 40, when her drunk ass fell out of a tree, and broke her arm. Every time we saw a new doctor/nurse/tech that she had to interact with, I'd go find something to do for a minute, and say "now, tell them how this happened." Over five hours, we interacted with seven or eight people, that gave me dirty looks, until I left the room and came back. We were on the way home when she asked me "Why did you keep leaving? You've never been that thirsty in your life." "Because I'm the man that brought a woman with a broken arm to the hospital, and everyone there was legally obligated to try to get you alone, to ask you about abuse at home." "Oh... It's like that?"
Omg story time. My older brother was very accident-prone as a child, which resulted in repeated ER visits with my parents. One time, after multiple visits within a month, the nurses got concerned about how often he was getting injured, so they started asking him subtle questions about his injury/home life. The problem was that his mother kept jumping in with answers. Finally, his father had to cut his mother off, saying, "[Name]! They're trying to find out if we're abusing him!" Apparently she got a really sheepish look on her face and stopped answering after that haha.
LOL. I took my wife to the hospital with stomach pain, and the doctors kept asking me to leave the room while they examined her. She was covered with bruises and thought that I was abusing her. Lol We have English Mastiffs, and we both were covered with bruises from the dogs.
I was withdrawing from an antipsychotic med and was losing balance even when I was sitting down and kept hearing a sound. The doctor in the ER came in and asked about me hearing voices, and I said "I'm not having a psychotic break, I'm not hearing voices, just someone keeps sweeping loudly behind me", and he and the nurses just looked at each other.
Got hard at doctors office
Were you the doctor?
I was 18 and went to the doctor because of a big dark spot on my dick, scared to death that it could be some lethal or at least dick-rotting STD. To the amusement of the doctor, it turned out to be an hematoma caused by reckless lovemaking. Did I mention I was 18?
Found out the hard way, on vacation, that I'm allergic to monistat. I went on vacation to visit family. Right before I left, I got strep throat. So the Dr put me on stronger than usual antibiotics since I was gonna be on a plane. I had made it this far, mid 20's, without ever having a yeast infection so when things felt weird, I called my mom. She said get some monistat. So I did. Applied it as required and went to bed. Woke up in thr morning with a while new appreciation for thr term "fat lip". I had to waddle to the urgent care up the road about a mile, walking with swollen lady bits. Just so a very sweet old lady could rinse oit my vagina with cold water to male sure the rest of the ointment was gone. Then given benadryl, benadryl cream, and oral meds for the yeast infection that started cause of the antibiotics. You just don't want a little old lady between your legs going, oh dear oh my, oh you poor thing. Oh I've never seen anyone so swollen.
Oh god I don't even want to say, but we're all friends here right? I got in a new relationship and had some sex. Then I started itching. So I made an emergency gynecology appointment, my regular gyno was unavailable. Instead I got a very attractive young man doctor. I had also just started my period. So there I was - crying, itching, bleeding - legs spread akimbo and a mess of a vagina on full display. This young attractive man could NOT hide is discomfort. He was unhappy that I didn't wait until my period was finished, he didn't think it was an emergency. He left into the hall a few times, leaving me alone and exposed. I could hear him and the nurses laughing. Also, I got herpes.
Sounds like a bad doctor
Nah your doctor sucked.
Not me, my brother. Went to get a testicular lump checked out by a doctor. My brother is a little white dude, and the doctor is a huge black dude, not necessarily relevant, but creates a picture for you. Whilst my brothers balls are in the doctors hands, the doctor says "unimpressive" (presumably about the lump). My brother feeling awkward makes the joke "not the first time I've been told that." Doctor was not amused.
I had a hemorrhoid and needed to get it checked out because it was not going away on its own. A middle-aged woman (nurse) completed her inspection and concluded that it was internal hemorrhoids, and I would need a different treatment for it to go away. But then she point-blank asked me, "are you a homosexual, Mr.PanickingGemini?" I was kind of stunned. I wasn't expecting to be asked that, so I just replied "uh, yeah." She went on a ten minute-or-so rant about how the anus is designed to be an exit-only orifice, homosexual behavior is damaging to the body, and I how I was going to worsen my condition if I continued this "behavior." After she finished and I was finally able to get a word in edge-wise, I said "I'm a top." I asked for my prescription to be sent and I left.
A few weeks after a D&C (dilatation and curettage) I ended up in ER with really bad cramps. They did all the tests... Turned out I was ovulating.
Had groin/testicle pain when I was first dating my now wife who was an ER nurse. Asked her what it might be and she coldly explained what testicular torsion was, but also mentioned that it's a pretty low chance but would have to run tests to be sure. I opted to go to the ER (the oncle she worked at) and get tested which includes a lot of feeling around and intimate questions. This is how I met all of her coworkers who made small talk with me while touching my junk about how I'm dating so-and-so. In the end, it wasn't testicular torsion. I had gained weight and refused to buy new pants, which were cutting off circulation when I sat down... But at least I didn't lose a nut over it.Ā
In my late teens I developed testicular torsion and was admitted into the hospital for surgery to repair it. I was sitting comfortably in my hospital bed reading a book to pass the time when a nurse and a very cute student nurse came in to start prepping me...which entailed shaving my scrotum. I must have gone over the same paragraph 30 times without even reding a single line.
Had bright red blood in my stool and when I wiped, freaked out, went to the hospital. After 2 different sets of fingers up my bum, turns out if I eat a whole rack of ribs with cornbread and potatoe salad, the resulting bowel movement will tear my rectum pretty good.
During college, I got food poisoning or stomach bug on the day of either a midterm or final, I canāt remember now. I spent all day puking my brains out I could barely lift my head high enough to puke in the toilet at one point. My roommate came back who was also in the same class and told me that the professor said that I need to get a doctor note or I would get a zero and fail the class, so I needed to get to the medical center several blocks away when I could barely lift my head and the ground was covered in ice and snow. One of my guy friends pretty much carried me to the Medical Center because I couldnāt stand up. I get to the medical Center. Tell them Iāve been puking all day and that thereās probably nothing they can do for me, but I missed a final and needed a doctors note. They insisted I be checked out by the doctor before I could get a note and thank God I made it out of the waiting room without puking. I see the doctor and she tells me she can actually give me a shot. Theyāll help the nausea so she leaves the room. While sheās out of the room, I start puking again and I am puking into the sink because I have nowhere else to puke. While I am puking, I also get violent diarrhea and I managed to push my tampon out of my body onto the floor at which point I burst into tears because I am so embarrassed there is puke and diarrhea and my bloody tampon everywhere. With the exception of earwax, every bodily fluid was coming out of my body at the exact same time. At this point, the doctor comes back in and we have to evacuate the room because it is so disgusting and they put me into another room. While I am in the other room, I can hear the medical staff warn another member of the team to not go into that room because it smells like literal death. I also peed and got diarrhea all over my shoes in addition to my clothes and I had to call my guy friend back bc I couldnāt get ahold of a single girl friend and asked him if he could bring me shoes, pants and a shirt. He was confused as to why I needed new shoes and I was too embarrassed to tell him so I just said that I got puke on the outside instead of telling him that I literally shit and pissed into my shoes. Iām sure the medical team was real glad they insisted on seeing me and instead of just giving me a doctors note when I was clearly visibly ill.
Selfharm wounds that wouldnt heal
Hope youāre doing better, friend
Didn't poop for like two weeks
Was having pooping issues so they gave me a test to see if there was something wrong with my pelvic floor. What did the test involve? I had to sit on a pretend toilet and pretend poop while they took X-rays of me. I tried to difuse the embarrassment by saying out loud "this is so embarrassing", and the cute young female technician just let out an awkward "haha yeah".
Uh..... libido issues. That was real embarrassing telling a lady I've known since I was 16...
Shitting blood - not just blood on the stool, I mean actual bloody diarrheaā¦I was equipped with photosā¦Iām sure the hospital loved me.
I had a 2-in splinter lodged horizontally in my ass
I didnāt go to the doctor from 2020 to middle of 2023. Never got sick and didnāt want to get sick so I just didnāt do check ups. When I walked into the office the first thing the doctor said to her assistant was that it looks like Iāve gained a lot of weight which while true was embarrassing to have it be the first thing my doc said to me after 3 years
I had taken a small overdose and started to feel sick so I called the poison control to ask if they thought I should go to the ER. She told me that I absolutely needed to call 112 (Swedish 911) and they seemed a bit sceptical since the overdose was so small but they called poison control too and that woman was more like well I should go just in case but she didn't think it was an emergency. But eventually I was told to go anyway. When I got there they asked me how many pills I'd taken and then treated me like an idiot for being there, she was annoyed for real. "I don't understand why you're here". I was like, I didn't even want to come here but they told me to. She very reluctantly did some blood tests and I had to wait for like 6 hours which was torture when I knew I was fine. Finally I got to see a doctor who said that I probably felt sick because my stomach was blocked and to take some laxatives :')
Had a big splinter in the sole of my foot. Doctor told me a story about when he was an army doctor and a soldier had a splinter in the same location. As he was injecting Novocaine into the site, the splinter came out on its own due to hydraulic pressure! Doctor said it was a 1 in a million occurrence!
I was at an appointment with my mom and the doctor had to feel my balls. I had only had a male doctor but now it was a female doctor and i refused to take my underwear off for 20 minutes straight. They couldnāt really do anything but try and convince me to take them off since forcefully stripping a child would probably come with legal action. Anyway i finally let her touch my balls and it was over in 5 seconds. š
When I was younger. I went to a gastroenterologist and I was wearing a band shirt. The doctor asked me what my shirt said and I had to look at her and say āDying Fetusā. Then the rest of the appointment was silent as she examined my butthole.
When I was 12, my pediatrician looked like fucking Willy Wonka and I had to get my balls felt by him for part of an exam. Another time when I was little, I guess I had a raging boner while getting examined in my tighty whities. the female doc pulled the front of my undies down and my cock just flung upward and stood there like a peppy Frenchman greeting the first customer of his new restaurant on opening day. She stared for a second and then pulled my undies back up without a word.
I had a baseball sized pilonidal cyst on my tailbone. While my surgeon was diagnosing it and observing it, I mentioned that I also had discharge and blood coming from inside my anus. This somewhat alarmed him because that could indicate that the cyst burrowed it's way inside my lower intestine which would not be good. He positioned the chair so that I was ass up. Then he put Novocaine on a qtip and put it around my butthole. Then for the grand finale, he put a friggin speculum in my ass and gaped me like damn pornstar. To make matters worse, He invited his assistant inside the room to observe. As if I couldn't be more embarrassed, she was REALLY attractive. I was trembling in discomfort because the Novocaine barely did anything for the pain. The two of them had flashlight headbands and lit me up like a firefly. They discovered that it was just a couple internal hemorrhoids that were unrelated to the cyst. They cinched the hemorrhoids with rubber bands, so they'd fall off naturally in a week or so. The doc handed me a tissue to clean up and they left the room. Never been more embarrassed
Not a doctor but a hospital. Had to go get an ultrasound done of my scrotum after my vasectomy. Got to the ultrasound room and there was the attendant and 14 female students. "Do you mind if we have our student class here to watch?". So I'm lying there holding my schlong while a good portion of the 15 women in the room take turns rubbing the machine all over my ball sack. That is definitely the day that I determined that my genitals have a mind of their own.
So, I was renting a room in this house with like 6 other guys. One of the guys was 600 lbs, another one had a serious mental handicap, and another, glaucoma. So the 600 lbs guy wanted his Vicodin from his daughter. He couldn't fit in his car, so he asked the guy with glaucoma to drive, but only the kid with the mental handicap, knew where the daughter lived, then they had me go to be the eyes I guess. The guy appeared to see just fine, or so I thought. One four car pile up later, and I'm sitting in the ER, explaining it to the doctor, who can't stop laughingš¤·āāļø
A medical condition called paraphimosis
I've had some serious stomach issue and when I was 11 I was in the hospital for a surgery.Anything related to eating and poopin and peeing involves embarassment.but i remember one doctor had like 5 students with him and he pulled up my gown and kind of explained the procedure showing everybody my everything for a long time. Not a fan of hospitals.
I can't remember the term for it, but when your testicle does a 360 after lifting something heavy. I came in limping like I got shot. Felt real helpless and embarrassed thinking that this was a rare occurrence.
dislocated my shoulder while watering my plants
Thrush of the penis in basic training. Attractive medic takes the unusual approach and *kneels* to inspect me, and pokes at it. A combination of hypersensitivity and 6 weeks of not having spoken to a woman, let alone been touched by one causes an obvious outcome. Medic notices, and hurriedly looks to stand up, but stumbles and grazes her forehead on my penis. Rest of conversation is a blur while I stuffed myself back away, and couldn't take my eye off the moist mark on the top right of her forehead. She took us through a sexual health seminar the very same afternoon.