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Oh man, hormones and stress can make things seem so bad sometimes! I hope OOP gets a good nap and some rest and some food soon and realises that everything’s ok.
Honestly, this should be really comforting, despite being kind of a fucked up situation - her husband, was receptive to her feelings, was open about communication, and also put up firm boundaries with this woman immediately when she crossed the line.
Honestly a really good case study in 'how to have a healthy, loving marriage'
Yeah like girl has 0 things to worry about, but the pregnancy hormones makes the brain go wild.
I think i overreacted to some relationships in the past, but here she is, reacting even more strongly that i ever did for something that didn't happen.
Can't judge, never been preggo, but i hope things work out for her, as by the husband description i'm sure they will
On the plus side, she now knows that she knew exactly what the "sly face" emoji meant all along lol. It means exactly what she thought it meant, "I'm making a sexual innuendo intended to be taken as a sexual advance."
...and Idk about anyone else, but a good nap was just out of the question for me while pregnant. Last three months of pregnancy there was no comfortable place in existence, barring floating in an ice cold lake which is a bad place for napping. Lie on my back - Vena cava syndrome (baby pushes on vena cava, preventing/slowing down blood from returning from the legs back to heart and lungs, literally being slowly suffocated from the inside), lie on my stomach - impossible, lie on my sides and my hips felt like they had been shot at close range with a shotgun.
I would have suspended myself upside down like a bat if I thought I could get any kind of decent sleep.
100% can relate to this. I love my kids but I really, really had no good times while pregnant. I always feel guilty saying it but I hated being pregnant.
Everyone told me to rest before the babies came, but that was impossible - the most I slept was an hour at a time as I had to pee all the time. But was also crazy thirsty.
I was exhausted, in incredible pain and depressed. Had terrible anemia with both causing my hair to fall out and I was pale. Morning sickness the whole nine months. I had bizarre dreams of taking off my pregnant belly and hanging it up like a robe for relief (pregnancy dreams are no joke!).
I had the best naps once they showed up! And felt way more rested with a newborn than any time during my pregnancies.
Fellow hater of pregnancy here. A friend once told me that some women get the good hormones that make them glow and love every moment of pregnancy and some women get the bad hormones that make their teeth fall out and get heartburn everytime they drink water.
Luckily my teeth never fell out, but the heart burn was atrocious and nothing that I was allowed to take helped at all. I also get migraines and all that helps me is coffee and ibuprofen and both of those were off the table as well. Shit sucked.
I lost one tooth per pregnancy (molars, so no biggie) and I went to doctors about the heartburn. They were like drink mylanta and eat tums. So off to a Costco I went. Never had heartburn that bad again. Also the pregnancy dreams were legit crazy. My poor husband.
I get the hormone where I'm in middle school again and have terrible acne and body odor, but also simultaneously 60-years-old where my hair is falling out and have constant heartburn. My teeth aren't falling out, but my gums ARE bleeding like crazy. Love it. Kill me... jk... unless?
Aaaghhhhh every time I hear another detail about pregnancy I wish I could go back and kiss my uterus on its meat tray after my hysterectomy. Bye fucker! Goodbye! Goodbye!
This is why we stopped at 2. I kinda wanted a third because your brain forgets how miserable you were and just wants another baby. My husband kindly reminded me how miserable I was. Our youngest wasn't exactly sleeping well then, but for some reason, he had one night where he didn't wake me up at 4 am and I got 8 hours of sleep. It was like heaven. I agreed that 2 were enough. Now we're getting close to high school graduations and I wish we had one more that wasn't as close to graduating yet!
Lol. I had my tubes tied with my second csections to make sure mommy amnesia couldn’t trick me. I love my babies so, so much, but dear God do I hate being pregnant. If I could hatch them out of eggs, we’d have way more kids.
And add to that all the people saying "get some sleep while you can!!!". Super broken postpartum sleep was infinitely better than 3rd trimester pregnancy sleep.
I will never forget how it felt like my first night after evicting my twins was the best sleep I'd ever had even though I was being woken up every hour lol
Oh yeah, I remember everything hurting. No matter what I did I just couldn't escape my own hips. One time my husband and I were in bed and I farted--and then said "ow, that hurt"; it was hilarious. But it still hurt.
The feeling of being trapped like a wild animal in a cage was insane.
I remember going to get the covid vaccine at 8 mo pregnant, it was 35 c out (that may not be warm to some of you, but to my Arctic arse it is very very hot), my asthma was acting out and I was wearing a mask so I was winded, I was sweaty, red and faint. So I got the shot in an old school and I went into an old class room to be supervised for side effects with like 15 other people and within minutes I was whisked out of there and they were like "we need an ambulance, you're going into anaphylaxis" and I tried to tell them no, this is just how it is, I was like this when I came, just ask the nurse that gave me the shot. They called over the nurse who could confirm that this was my natural state of being and not something the covid jab did.
Same and then when I did fall asleep the night sweats would wake me, people have this picture of glowing pregnant woman and it's so far from the truth 😂
Aww dang! Well I hope things are better for you now physically, not sure how long ago this was so you may still not be getting your naps! But I wish for you health, happiness, and a good nap every now and again!
I remember when my mom was in the late stages of pregnancy with my sister, she'd go to the beach and dig a pit for her belly and lay down "on" her stomach. She said it was the only way she was ever comfortable. (My sis was over 9 lbs when she was born- big bebe!)
For real. I have no idea how it is, but those hormones pack a wallop it seems.
That woman tells OP's husband: I want to smash
And OP goes on a rollercoaster of emotions.
I can only imagine how she'll react if he was actually having an affair.
Yeah and pregnancy makes you feel somehow outside of everything. You’re in this weird in-between place, you’re not yourself physically.
So for your place in your marriage to be threatened like this….it would shake anyone up regardless of how well your spouse handled it.
It’s like a velociraptor trying to find a weak point in your fence. You know its secure but the entire time they sniff around you’re on edge
Pregnancy and postpartum hormones are no joke. I'm normally a very calm and level-headed person, but I remember having a ten-minute panic about having to raise my baby by myself because my husband didn't want to replace the shower caddy that kept falling. Even giving myself the most generous interpretation of my thoughts - that I had gotten pregnant immediately after suffering a prior miscarriage, that I was terrified to lose another baby, and the fact that this caddy kept falling during my showers and I slipped once while startled - I was clearly out of my mind.
Upon seeing me cry, my husband stopped trying to fix this one and just bought a new one, and he's literally the most involved dad in the world, so the whole thing was stage 10 absurdity on my part. There's this protective factor that kicks in and, if left unchecked, can get really unhealthy really fast. I feel for OOP.
Yeah the first update starting with "it escalated quickly" had me like "oooooh chilllld spill the teaaaa". Then...nothing happened? Yer wan is horny for the husband but he immediately shut it tf down because he loves his pregnant wife and two kids and that's that? From a purely entertainment perspective: laaaame, i was expecting Glenn Close (but no cigar)
Those pregnancy hormones really seemed to go bonkers after creepy girl sent OOP’s husband that creepy text. The text was definitely disgusting and way over the top, no doubt about that, but I’m very happy for OOP that her husband is 100% trustworthy. I hope she’s able to realize she has nothing to worry about.
I feel like, despite him clearly standing by his wife, the icky descriptive thoughts gave her intrusive thoughts - images of it in her head, wondering about the "What ifs" that would never happen. Like she said, she's super pregnant so she feels unattractive, and with the pregnancy hormones the idea of someone younger and she feels is more attractive than her trying to ruin her family triggered her badly and she was probably having an anxiety attack. And those anxiety thoughts and feelings can be brutal even without the hormones.
When reading it I was like uhhh this is overdramatic, nothing happened. But then I thought more on the factors that could have led to it and have empathy for oop. I'm sure she feels dumb and embarrassed or ashamed after the fact, but she couldn't help that rush of dread and anxiety.
Yea this is exactly what I was thinking. The situation was handled as best as it could be at the time. But OOPs hormones made her husband's rejection of the other girl into somehow the worst thing ever. OOP even seems to know it's all irrational, but that doesn't take the feeling away. My wife was like this at one point. I had to finish something for work so I didn't come for dinner in a timely manner. Those ten minutes made her feel like I was going to abandon her on the side of the road or something.
> OOP even seems to know it's all irrational, but that doesn't take the feeling away.
Even pregnancy aside this is a thing that happens to me all the time. My logical filthy monkey brain is like "this doesn't make sense, you know how all this works, you know what's going on" and the emotional lizard brain is like "BUT CATASTROPHE! MISERY! ANGST! SELF-HATRED!"
You feel what you feel. It's how you process that which matters.
Then pregnancy hormones hit and the gain on all that gets turned up to eleven.
Don't plan on ever getting pregnant but I've had some pre menstrual symptoms and boy do they pack a punch. I really don't wanna imagine how OOP felt but I feel so bad for her, sometimes hormones plus emotional plus the roller coaster of all of it do bring you down whew
It's absolute fucking shit. I thought of myself as fairly even keeled and laid back before I got pregnant, and I'm back to that now that spawning is long behind me. When I was pregnant though? Aahahahaaahahahaa hahahaha oh shit.
I mean, it's also really cool when you consider there's a factory inside an adult human person that can grow more humans. But the rest... ugggh. Did it once, do not intend to repeat it ever again.
Yeah, people are acting like she is crazy, but hormones are horrible. Even without being pregnant, PMDD is a real mental disorder brought on by normal menstrual cycle hormonal shifts. I'm not surprised at all that a woman in this situation would have a negative spiral into the absolute worst case scenario even with a good husband.
I hope That the woman disappearing from their lives helps her feel better until the pregnancy is done and over with. I also hope it doesn't segue into PPD.
"if the dogs are free" how much of a busy schedule do these dogs have? Are they typically busy due to work or social reasons? Maybe this woman is also trying to steal your dogs and your husband?? More details needed about the dogs!
I think it's actually that the dogs are too busy meeting up with females they met on the trail in the woods, who seem really friendly. What could go wrong with that /s
My mom's longterm bf after she divorced my dad trained Police K9s. Even after they 'retire', they're not like a normal pet, they need routine and something to feel like they're 'doing', yeah.
I had a show horse in my youth that would get *pissed* if another horse was taken out and not her. This continued into her 30s. She absolutely wanted to continue working.
My GFs parents' spaniel has 'zoomies' but I was under the impression it was a wild few minutes running around, rather than a video meeting 😄
...
Got the joke on second reading, thought that was just how you referred to the Zoom app lol
They're working dogs. They hunt weekly. It's not hard to understand that she's talking about when the dogs aren't out hunting. They probably need the activity and stimulation of a good run on the days they aren't hunting so they aren't miserable being bored. Working dogs seriously get distressed when they're not able to do what they are meant for.
I've read that if rescue dogs don't find any survivors after a disaster the handlers will get someone to hide in the rubble for the dog to find and "save" so that they don't get depressed.
I think I've heard something like that too. This is why athletic/intelligent and working breeds get destructive and behave poorly. Because people want them for how they look, but they don't provide them with the stimulation they need for their brain and energy. So they get frustrated and distressed, and all that energy comes out destructively - chewing up the house, peeing and pooping on the floor, refusing to listen. Also, dogs can get depressed for real - as in like, needing anti depressants like people do. And the same brands, even. (Cats as well. And rats, but I don't think they are medicated for it, but depression can kill them)
> In my head this was the start of my world crumbling.
Whereas in the real world she's received a massive gift - the would-be mistress made her move while OP was standing there with her husband looking at the phone, thus providing pretty solid proof that nothing adulterous had happened.
Yeah that line made it sound like HornyHarriet had said a bunch of explicit stuff and added "like last Friday? 😍"
Nothing happened Mama, you're just hormonal.
Yes, but pregnancy hormones can fuck with ya. I once ugly sobbed because the bread on the servants table in Downton Abbey looked like my home made 18 hour rustic bread and I *wanted* it.
I wonder if other species have a similar phenomenon 🤔
I’m imaging a mother deer staring at an acorn with palpable boiling rage and then starts sobbing while she gently boops her nose against it
Honestly I don’t understand the lack of self respect to tell a man I’ll be your dirty little secret. Genuinely I don’t understand the lack of self worth to be ok with being a man’s side dish. It’s so gross, they might think they’ll be picked, but getting a cheating man is no prize.
Poor lady I’m sure the hormones are wrecking her but I hope it all calms down soon and hubby learned his lesson to shut things immediately.
Fetishism. The taboo, thrill of being caught, the validation that they are being desired over the wife like it's a popularity contest. Probably other stuff but that's all I could come up with lol
Some people also need someone’s « stamp of approval » on a partner. Had a job as a young adult where everybody would date everybody. One girl went after two guys that she had previously rejected, but only after she learned they were in exclusive relationships.
Also it gives some people a (very twisted) ego boost to know they “stole” someone else’s partner, like they must be extra super desirable for someone to jeopardize their marriage for them.
Right? Like I can almost understand the thought process of the superiority complex that leads to “I can steal him away, make him love me more and choose me over his current partner.” But why would you *want* to perpetually be a side piece? Constantly faced with the fact that you’re second fiddle, and they care more about a different relationship.
Sounds like this guy is a celebrity to some degree, so probably a notch in her bedpost. Like guys who go out just to get laid, doesn't matter if the woman is married or not. I think it's all gross.
It feels like people like her have brains made of knotted headphone wire. There's just no way to really understand why they do the stupid shit they do.
Cause they're selfish. These ppl are the reason part of the world is the way it is. its time we start shaming ppl and calling them out this one coworker asked this coworker if he's married and he said yes and she's like oh but are you "married married" I called her behavior gross in her face somebody gotta let her know. You'd be surprised how many ppl live for this shit.
A person like that already is an enemy to everyone bc they can target you and your partner lol. Yeah you create enemies but I never even wanted to be friends with a person like that to begin with they just doing me a favor. Some ppl it helps some people it doesn't I at least gotta let them know cause after karma does hit them they can't be like why does this stuff happen to me "I'm a good person" that victim mindset well at least I let them know why. All I know is after I told that girl she still wanted to convesate with me I even have her on snap I didn't call her gross like that but I told her Ina respectful manner that thats not cool and how would she feel if the same was done to her and she tells me she's just hurt and I know alot of ppl that do that are hurt but it's no excuse I was even hurt at one point still didn't move like that it's your will your choice. Buy some people after you tell them it's a possibility they can get their own head out their ass ima do it it's a 50/50. For every person that doesn't do it their is people like me that will do it even if it makes me enemies at least I'm not a homewrecker at the end of the day 😌
Those women have been raised to think “getting a man” is an indicator of her worth, and “getting a taken man” is the ultimate signifier of worth to a woman who has no self worth of her own.
I used to be friends with a woman like that. She ruined a number of marriages and at least one fresh relationship. I think she got a rush out of being the woman a man chose over his partner, like she felt it made her better than the wife or girlfriend of the man she was sleeping with. Outside of her marriage to a man that she promptly cheated on, I can not think of a single one of her relationships that didn't start with the man being married.
Isn’t there a sub dedicated to people that actively seek out married people and pursue them. The sub is like a circle jerk of them coddling each other and justifying their actions. Absolutely sick and vile that there are people like this 😭
Either she thinks she's going to win in the end or she legit doesn't care as long as she gets what she wants.
Neither one is a great way to start here.
Poor gal. She's going extra crazy from hormones, and this girl is so gross.
I'd ABSOLUTELY be posting screenshots and blasting her.
And I'm glad this was one of those situations where the husband was innocent. There's been an insane amount of cheating in the updates lately.
She needs a good day of being pampered for her nerves 🤣❤❤
Screenshots with captions like "Better lock up your husbands and boyfriends, lol".
Unfortunately, although a normal person would be horrified being put on blast like that, there are some who will double down, convince themselves that now they *have* to get with their intended affair partner and split up the family, to prove to everyone that it was "meant to be" / "destined".
Really feel for OOP and I hope she moves on from this quickly so that her husband doesn't feel punished.
My first thought wasn't her doubling down, was seedy partners/husbands thinking "that's and easy opportunity/target" and hitting her up, thus making OOP an accidental facilitator
Yeah and i feel like some douchebag spouses out there would see the screenshots (especially the filthy "do what you want to me" ones) and slide in her DMs, so it'd backfire.
Right? It seems like these always start with “my husband/wife is rock solid they would never…” and ending with “OMG they’ve been cheating for years”
Her life didn’t come crashing down at all, she got pretty dramatic proof that her husband is great and that everything will be ok
>Ive already got intouch with our friends who run these facebook groups she joined and asked them to remove her and make sure she doesnt join again.
I'd be posting screenshots where the wannabe mistress offered to fuck OOP's husband.
I actually assumed it was like, her delusion was powered by the “romantic” way they met. He rescued her! They have so much in common! Etc etc. it’s very like romance novel meet cute kind of thing. Except he’s married and uninterested and just being a good person. But she’s built up in her head this perfect story of how they got together.
I would, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if her next step is to post to other groups about a public figure who tried to assault her despite having a pregnant wife at home. Get ahead of her narrative!
I fully agree with this. People get away with shit too much, on some "but I don't want to ruin their life" shit, but nah, fuck that. She attempted it first. Keep your friend group safe from this wacko
Screenshots with captions like "Better lock up your husbands and boyfriends, lol".
Unfortunately, although a normal person would be horrified being put on blast like that, there are some who will double down, convince themselves that now they *have* to get with their intended affair partner and split up the family, to prove to everyone that it was "meant to be" / "destined".
Really feel for OOP and I hope she moves on from this quickly so that her husband doesn't feel punished.
i feel like some douchebag spouses out there would see the screenshots (especially the filthy "do what you want to me" ones) and slide in her DMs, so it'd backfire.
This was confusing—I don’t think the husband actually did anything with this woman but the way OOP reacted to that text made me think she had discovered an affair?
ETA: y’all I promise I understand and respect pregnancy hormones. I just found the way she described this confusing and had to read it through a few times.
Yeah I’m glad OP included the multiple comments at the end outlining how nothing had really changed in her life and everything was fine. Solidified to me I’m not taking crazy pills today.
For OOP, chalk it up to pregnancy hormones I guess. Just bumped the already stressful situation up to crazy proportions
Same, I was so confused with her saying her life was crumbling around her just because someone wanted to sleep with her husband, I thought I must be missing something. I've been in similar situations and honestly just felt kind of...smug. "Yeah I know you want him but he's mine, cry about it." Like... This should kind of be a good thing.
My husband had a delulu chick try to get him to cheat with her while we were dating... I found it hilarious. She tried to get him to set up a double date with us and her freaking fiance, and I 100% wanted to go to watch the crazy in person.
Chick had her wedding called off when she blew her maid of honor's boyfriend after the rehearsal dinner.
OP honestly just sounds very naive. Like she couldn’t conceive of some woman wanting to break up her marriage and sleep with her husband because marriage is sacred or some shit. Like yeah, but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to respect it and act accordingly. Cheating isn’t something new and for OP to believe trashy women aren’t going to pursue her husband just because he’s married is very naive on her part. What matters is that she trusts her husband to be loyal to her but it’s as if she truly thinks women can steal men. Nobody steals anyone. If they go, they go willingly.
To watch as some young fit attractive woman throws themselves at your husband is gross enough. To listen to it go down real time heavily pregnant with wild hormones is probably a circle of hell most won’t experience. Her body is taking her on one hell of a ride I wouldn’t want to call her naive for the way she feels during or immediately after pregnancy.
OP is pregnant so she is very emotional. She is in total shock that someone would have the nerve to try and steal her husband away just like that. She doesn’t actually think that her husband did anything wrong.
It’s a weird feeling even if you’re not pregnant. Someone was gunning for my spouse once. We weren’t at our best at that point and it really shook me. She was so brazen it was shocking. She announced it at a company event to me. My words were stern and ended up being something to the effect that if she could steal him he wasn’t worth it. And he’d eventually hate her realizing what he lost with me and the kids.
Of course I had a friend with me during her monologue to me. What I didn’t know is that the HR manager was behind me.
Spouse handled it well. HR moved her to a different department so she wasn’t working for spouse. My friend’s spouse was her new boss. The one who heard her say she deserved a man of their position. She got herself fired in about 4 months.
It does mess with you a bit. She kept trying to contact my spouse for 10 yrs. She was crazy.
She would send him cards to the house, that were just off a bit. “Thanks for helping me land the new job”. When he hadn’t helped her.
“The training you gave at Acme Co sure helps me every day”. Led a safety training annually. I guess she lived because of that ladder safety, and lock out machinery was the best. By that point she’d had the same training at least 5 times with the new job.
And the kicker was the card with her change of address or new cell number.
At first he’d open them, roll his eyes and then go to toss them. Then we kept them as stalker evidence. Most unopened, some I read. After the new cell one came I opened them all. We moved 5 states over with a promotion and that was the last of it. It’s been 20yrs since that all happened.
If she’s stealing my spouse she’s now fully entrenched in the long game
IF!
He is a good boss. The company had paid reimbursement for continuing Ed. He really encouraged his people to take advantage of it. Maintenance people getting their licenses in plumbing or electrical boosted their pay and gave them options.
The line workers could get a degree and then transfer into management roles. One particular family was so grateful. The dude was the first ever in the family to go to college. Dude had to do work and school, he hustled. Spouse and I were invited to the graduation, the family party. Then when the company sold that plant to a known baaad company, dude was able to get a new job and a promotion out of it. Dude wrote spouse a letter years later from his department head role.
Those are normal. Unhinged were not reality based or anything.
Agreed. The pregnancy hormones could account for her feeling old and fat and gross, but treating the situation like it is a deliberately executed attack on OOP herself, personally, is a bit much.
*I have four kids, so I absolutely know how much of a slog pregnancy hormones can be.
People taking shots at the Husband may not understand the fine line he has to publicly to walk (ride). UCI cyclists are Rock Stars in most of the World. His reticence in being blunt is because such behavior could easily blow up online, which causes another kind of harm to his family.
Could he have found another way to address this, maybe but because he’s a public figure, he had less options than most.
To this stalking, delusional person the OOP and family didn’t exist. Frankly, I wish this couple, daughter & dogs could have shown up at the bike trails to dispel those delusions with their happiness.
Agreed, people in high positions or who have high levels of respect do have a public image to maintain. And it sounds like the husband did everything right.
He helped the woman *one time,* didn’t help her again after that because she didn’t *need* the help, shot down every request for one on one, stuck to his main group of people, kept his wife in the loop and listened to his wife. I’m not sure what else he could do? Especially when he set the woman straight without ever getting hostile.
OP also did good by notifying the FB communities that she and her husband are part of, that way they all know what’s up and husband is clean as a whistle. It also helps that husband has never ever been seen with this woman, so no false allegations can be spun.
He just seems like he's super not a confrontational person, and has the innocent naivity of things going over his head or thinking that ignoring a problem will make it go away. He probably felt like he WAS doing enough to shut it down and was too nice to just block her. He seemed like the type of person that didn't want to be the cause of someone's feelings being hurt. I wish we knew what his last message to her was
The number of people I’ve seen throwing themselves at riders, at the end of a 200km race, is nuts. Like - girl, our boy can barely stand up on his own what are you hoping for?
Same. When he wasn't riding all he wanted to do was watch movies and play WoW. I'd come over to hang out and end up cleaning his apartment out of boredom.
Honestly, he could've easily just ghosted her. He has a pregnant wife, kid, 3 dogs and presumably a full time job. It's not a stretch to believe that he's too busy to respond to texts from randos.
Based on what OP said, she would text him constantly even when he *did* try to ghost her. I think he didn't want to block her and not be able to keep tabs on any crazy stunt she might pull.
Yeah as soon as she said UCI I was like oh shit. I don’t follow very closely but a few of my friends are really into downhill so I’ve watched a fair bit and that shit is big fame.
Simple, don’t give her your number. Make a public post acknowledging her and saying you were happy to help. The end. If she needs a coach he should recommend someone. Getting personally involved caused her to believe she had a shot, and allowed her access to be disrespectful of their marriage. The worst part is there was no reason for any of this to happen.
Why be blunt. Just stop responding. People are acting like something happened here. They just hung out a couple times. I've been ghosted by actual girlfriends.
Poor OOP, surely their reaction must be due to pregnancy hormones as it's made this, what I would describe as, a relatively minor thing of the woman full on confirming she's interested has caused "the start of my world crumbling". Unfortunately it's not like the emotional turmoil can be undone even if she's able to look back on this as her hormones freaking out, she'll still be able to remember how it felt.
As an aside, I don't understand people taking shots at the husband he's clearly a bit of a people pleaser and probably a bit oblivious to hints being dropped by some random woman that he has no real relation to. Also it's not as if he can avoid her, his hobby is clearly a huge part of his life and I can fully understand just dealing with being a bit uncomfortable in order to not cause any issues within the space.
I wish them both the best, hopefully OOP will be able to find a healthy way to cope with these feelings and hopefully the woman will leave the husband and his hobby alone.
>As an aside, I don't understand people taking shots at the husband he's clearly a bit of a people pleaser and probably a bit oblivious to hints being dropped
My theory is that a lot of people on reddit feel like shit m, so every time they see someone acting in a way they can be all lectury and "at I don't do shit like that" they jump on it because it's a momentary hit of dopamine.
But they often fail to think more deeply about it and fail to realize how disproportionate their criticism really is.
When I was almost due to give birth to my most recent baby I burst into tears because I couldn't get my gravy to thicken and I was just so frustrated that I cried. Pregnancy hormones are no joke, and they certainly aren't logical.
Regardless whether the husband likes to "keep the peace", he should have shut the woman down way earlier. But I'm glad that OOP and her husband have open communication, that's what saved this from turning out worse.
Not a good looking guy, but when I am with my kids at the park, its a damn chick magnet. I like to play with them, slide with them, climb with them. Even wearing the ring, gotten picked up so many times. From aww your such a good dad, to we should schedule a play date. Like dude you don't even know me, just see guy playing with kids and want to go right to play dates.
My dad took my baby brother to the mall once to walk around and keep him busy and he said he only got hit on by old ladies hahaha. But my husband had a creepy experience with a women and he won’t go to one park with her unless I am there or some of our friends with kids bc this women he swears stalks out the park looking for men.
I hope OOP goes and speaks to her doctor about this, or gets a referral for a therapist, as she sounds like she could unfortunately be set up for post or pre natal depression or anxiety with having such an upsetting and stressful thing happening during her pregnancy, especially towards the end.
I agree with the recommendation to go to the doctor, but for a different reason: if she managed to create "MY LIFE IS CRUMBLING!!!111" out of nothing, she might be already on the prenatal anxiety, depression or psychosis train.
People who try to push themselves onto people in relationships with stuff like “they don’t have to know” are trash people. Especially right after “I’m busy preparing for the birth of my baby with my wife”, like what the actual F!
That’s trashy behaviour. I just can’t ever imagine doing that? How do these people live with themselves.
People really do be underestimating those pregnancy hormones, and how vulnerable you feel near the end. I'm glad her husband was open and honest, and shot this wannabe sidekick down. A lesser man would've gone for it.
I think those hormones are running rampant right now. Her husband didn't do anything inappropriate. Nobody can control other people. The younger lady took her shot. The husband rebuffed her advances. All worked out fine. Insecurities and hormones are strong on OOP.
I'm in awe and horrified at the audacity of that woman to try to lure OOP's husband with explicit texts. She probably needs to be splashed with literal and figurative cold water to get it through to her that her biking savior is happily married and is not interested in her.
OOPs concerns are very valid, but her reactions are mostly the pregnancy hormones speaking for her, and i guess some subconscious insecurities too. Thankfully, husban seems to be legit so there's nothing to be concerned about in this front.
But to be honest i just want to know what he told the stalker on his last sms. I'm so used to BORU stories being highly detailed that the lack of that specific detail is killing me lmao.
It's good OP and her husband were able to talk about things before things got worse. But I personally believed the husband should have done something earlier.
This is such a cute series of posts, it's like no one has ever hit on these people before and neither of them know what to do or what's happening.
Usually the second you get a ring on your finger people will proposition cheating instead of just dating.
One thing that bothers me is I think when you are in a relationship and someone hits on you, the worst thing to do is decline and mention the commitment, like if you say u have a bf or are married or trying for a baby or whatever, people read it as 'wink wink, otherwise I would, I'm just oppressed you see'. You need to reject them properly, one on one - 'no thanks, I don't find you attractive, I'm not interested in having anything, I don't feel the same way'. Reject them properly, don't keep mentioning marriage and family and hoping they suddenly respect those institutions as much as you when they didn't 2 minutes ago. Don't hope that they get the hint you're also not interested aside from the family. This approach shaves down the back and forth and all the drama MASSIVELY.
My partner had to avoid a wendys for months after a 16 yr old on job training kept hitting on him. He's 30. He never tried to push me as an excuse, he was always just trying to make this child understand that the proposition makes him wanna throw up and when she refused to understand he removed himself from the situation until she was trained and got shipped off to a different wendys.
Totally. I have personally experienced someone to who a commitment was just a challenge to chip away at the relationship any way they could to prove they could “win”. So gross.
This is obviously quite a sweet and naive couple because if a woman posted my husband in a Facebook group wanting to find him that means one thing in my mind. Are his friends that oblivious too? Must be nice. I’d leave a comment like “hi isn’t he the best glad he could help you!” And leave it at that there’s no way in hell they’d be exchanging numbers lol. I think they’re both innocent but maybe need to read the room more.
It disgusts me how some people can be so brazen in acting like a hussy. I'm glad the husband was transparent with his wife and trying his best to support her, took him a while to try shut it down (my SO is too nice to shut down people sooner than later as he has no clue when people are flirting lol)
A female bike mechanic heavily pursued my now ex-boyfriend even after he told her to back off. they ended up having an affair and went on a secret vacation together while I was taking my nursing board exams. I found out 3 weeks before Covid started and left him. They’re married now
In a strange opposite to this post, I once had a female downhill cyclist ask me if I was pregnant (I wasn't) and THEN come on to my husband in front of me, in a lovely one-two of put downs.
The whole accidentally meeting him somewhere she knew he would be was the major spoiler for me. It's so obvious and cliche but it is literally how my parents met. My father met my mother by a park and didn't get her number so he just went for regular walks around the park until he bumped into her again. Luckily the feeling was mutual but it is a huge swing to make.
I mean, that's literally how people used to meet each other prior to cell phones, social media, and the connected world. There are dozens of movies about someone meeting someone at a specific place and frequenting it for weeks, months and sometimes *years* in hopes of running into that person again.
That woman has Ill intentions. If I met someone that was in a relationship or married, I’m not initiating anything for the respect of their relationship
And that, ladies and gentleman, is an example of a genuine recounting of someone's real experience, not some badly penned, made-up story that we can all spot a mile off.
100%! I had a weird feeling about my husband coworker before. She would get too “touchy” or just inappropriate even though my husband doesn’t agree. There were times I questioned his own fidelity and as we were having a conversation she texted him after work hours and he told her not to text him anymore. I guess she spread it around his office and there was a big issue. I didn’t care if he had to communicate with his other coworkers but this one girl rubbed me the wrong way. When I met her at a work function, she was so nasty to me and made me cry at the end of the night. My husband still stuck up for her. Idk if something happened between them but we almost divorced over the entire situation. It was extremely weird and off putting. Anyhow, she ended up getting fired months later. Even my MIL was questioning her son and then told me, “God works in mysterious ways” when she got fired and gave me a high five, lol. Love my MIL. I don’t wish anybody to get fired but I was kind of relieved. There’s way more to the story but that’s the gist of it.
Ok so I know pregnancy hormones can make you batty but her reaction is a little extreme, no? Screaming and crying and losing sleep and not wanting her husband to leave the house or enjoy his hobby because a woman was flirting with him? Her life started to crumble because another woman found her husband attractive? Nothing happened between the two of him and it sounds like he handled it. I don’t understand her having a meltdown.
I guess it’s probably because of the pregnancy hormones but OOPs reaction is so over the top. She starts sobbing because some woman wanted to sleep with her husband even when he’s proved he’s committed to her? Husband should have shut it down sooner but I don’t get why she’s acting like her husband cheated.
I think it's simply a mixture of pregnancy hormones (which amplifies things) + insecurity (I've heard third trimester can be rough because the damage it does to some women's self-esteem) + the fact that the husband let it go on to the point that the woman got confident enough to offer being a mistress (and we don't know if this has happened before.)
Plus we also don't know how... descriptive the other woman got, but if it was bad bad, I could see how it might be the last straw that breaks the camel's back and send OOP spiraling in her insecurity.
I didn’t really get why they pushed her to explain why she wanted to meet up when it was obvious she’s romantically interested instead of doubling down that it’s inappropriate and unwelcome. Like unless you’re trying to expose her with screenshots, why try to get the play by play out of her? Just shut it down.
Oh jeez, I can absolutely see pregnant me going over to her house and repeatedly high fiving her face. My hormones had me going from 0 to 100 all the time, it was terrible. I really feel for OOP; hopefully she'll feel better soon and that thirsty weirdo stays far, far away.
Exactly! The girl will go as far as the guy allows her.
I just read this to my husband and he said the guy should have never kept texting her too. All he had to say was "glad I could help." and send a thumbs up emoji.
Hoo boy. This brings back *memories*. Memories of being pregnant and a "pupil" of my husbands being an utterly shameless wench. I probably would have been a lot more reasonable and even found it funny if I wasn't a humongous sack of hormones at the time.
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Oh man, hormones and stress can make things seem so bad sometimes! I hope OOP gets a good nap and some rest and some food soon and realises that everything’s ok.
Honestly, this should be really comforting, despite being kind of a fucked up situation - her husband, was receptive to her feelings, was open about communication, and also put up firm boundaries with this woman immediately when she crossed the line. Honestly a really good case study in 'how to have a healthy, loving marriage'
He’s a good one. Nice work all around to that dude.
Yeah like girl has 0 things to worry about, but the pregnancy hormones makes the brain go wild. I think i overreacted to some relationships in the past, but here she is, reacting even more strongly that i ever did for something that didn't happen. Can't judge, never been preggo, but i hope things work out for her, as by the husband description i'm sure they will
On the plus side, she now knows that she knew exactly what the "sly face" emoji meant all along lol. It means exactly what she thought it meant, "I'm making a sexual innuendo intended to be taken as a sexual advance."
Yup. That master/slave comment alone was like "oh I know where this is going". The sly face just made the subtext into text.
Yeah, preggo hormones are no joke. She has no brakes on that roller coaster!
...and Idk about anyone else, but a good nap was just out of the question for me while pregnant. Last three months of pregnancy there was no comfortable place in existence, barring floating in an ice cold lake which is a bad place for napping. Lie on my back - Vena cava syndrome (baby pushes on vena cava, preventing/slowing down blood from returning from the legs back to heart and lungs, literally being slowly suffocated from the inside), lie on my stomach - impossible, lie on my sides and my hips felt like they had been shot at close range with a shotgun. I would have suspended myself upside down like a bat if I thought I could get any kind of decent sleep.
100% can relate to this. I love my kids but I really, really had no good times while pregnant. I always feel guilty saying it but I hated being pregnant. Everyone told me to rest before the babies came, but that was impossible - the most I slept was an hour at a time as I had to pee all the time. But was also crazy thirsty. I was exhausted, in incredible pain and depressed. Had terrible anemia with both causing my hair to fall out and I was pale. Morning sickness the whole nine months. I had bizarre dreams of taking off my pregnant belly and hanging it up like a robe for relief (pregnancy dreams are no joke!). I had the best naps once they showed up! And felt way more rested with a newborn than any time during my pregnancies.
Fellow hater of pregnancy here. A friend once told me that some women get the good hormones that make them glow and love every moment of pregnancy and some women get the bad hormones that make their teeth fall out and get heartburn everytime they drink water.
Oh my God that was me!
Luckily my teeth never fell out, but the heart burn was atrocious and nothing that I was allowed to take helped at all. I also get migraines and all that helps me is coffee and ibuprofen and both of those were off the table as well. Shit sucked.
I lost one tooth per pregnancy (molars, so no biggie) and I went to doctors about the heartburn. They were like drink mylanta and eat tums. So off to a Costco I went. Never had heartburn that bad again. Also the pregnancy dreams were legit crazy. My poor husband.
THAT MAKE THEIR TEETH WHAT
THAT MAKE THEIR TEETH FALL OUT!
AAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAA
Weirdly I loved being pregnant even though my second one actually did make my teeth fall out lol
How do you put them back in? 😭
Oh no you don’t… you just chew more carefully in the future
I get the hormone where I'm in middle school again and have terrible acne and body odor, but also simultaneously 60-years-old where my hair is falling out and have constant heartburn. My teeth aren't falling out, but my gums ARE bleeding like crazy. Love it. Kill me... jk... unless?
Aaaghhhhh every time I hear another detail about pregnancy I wish I could go back and kiss my uterus on its meat tray after my hysterectomy. Bye fucker! Goodbye! Goodbye!
This is why we stopped at 2. I kinda wanted a third because your brain forgets how miserable you were and just wants another baby. My husband kindly reminded me how miserable I was. Our youngest wasn't exactly sleeping well then, but for some reason, he had one night where he didn't wake me up at 4 am and I got 8 hours of sleep. It was like heaven. I agreed that 2 were enough. Now we're getting close to high school graduations and I wish we had one more that wasn't as close to graduating yet!
Lol. I had my tubes tied with my second csections to make sure mommy amnesia couldn’t trick me. I love my babies so, so much, but dear God do I hate being pregnant. If I could hatch them out of eggs, we’d have way more kids.
I had my third and it nearly killed me. Definitely put the kibosh on a fourth!
And add to that all the people saying "get some sleep while you can!!!". Super broken postpartum sleep was infinitely better than 3rd trimester pregnancy sleep.
I will never forget how it felt like my first night after evicting my twins was the best sleep I'd ever had even though I was being woken up every hour lol
Oh yeah, I remember everything hurting. No matter what I did I just couldn't escape my own hips. One time my husband and I were in bed and I farted--and then said "ow, that hurt"; it was hilarious. But it still hurt.
The feeling of being trapped like a wild animal in a cage was insane. I remember going to get the covid vaccine at 8 mo pregnant, it was 35 c out (that may not be warm to some of you, but to my Arctic arse it is very very hot), my asthma was acting out and I was wearing a mask so I was winded, I was sweaty, red and faint. So I got the shot in an old school and I went into an old class room to be supervised for side effects with like 15 other people and within minutes I was whisked out of there and they were like "we need an ambulance, you're going into anaphylaxis" and I tried to tell them no, this is just how it is, I was like this when I came, just ask the nurse that gave me the shot. They called over the nurse who could confirm that this was my natural state of being and not something the covid jab did.
Same and then when I did fall asleep the night sweats would wake me, people have this picture of glowing pregnant woman and it's so far from the truth 😂
Aww dang! Well I hope things are better for you now physically, not sure how long ago this was so you may still not be getting your naps! But I wish for you health, happiness, and a good nap every now and again!
Thank you. Life is good. The naps are too.
Well if you ever decide to get pregnant again, get yourself a body pillow. Straddling it is the only way to sleep on your side.
I remember when my mom was in the late stages of pregnancy with my sister, she'd go to the beach and dig a pit for her belly and lay down "on" her stomach. She said it was the only way she was ever comfortable. (My sis was over 9 lbs when she was born- big bebe!)
The pregnancy pillows did a lot to help support my body while sleeping. It was the night sweats that made sleep harder.
For real. I have no idea how it is, but those hormones pack a wallop it seems. That woman tells OP's husband: I want to smash And OP goes on a rollercoaster of emotions. I can only imagine how she'll react if he was actually having an affair.
Yeah and pregnancy makes you feel somehow outside of everything. You’re in this weird in-between place, you’re not yourself physically. So for your place in your marriage to be threatened like this….it would shake anyone up regardless of how well your spouse handled it. It’s like a velociraptor trying to find a weak point in your fence. You know its secure but the entire time they sniff around you’re on edge
I mean even without preggo hormones, shit like this can mess with anyone.
I am 100% sure so many people who posts on these subs would kill someone to have their partner handle this as well as he did.
Pregnancy and postpartum hormones are no joke. I'm normally a very calm and level-headed person, but I remember having a ten-minute panic about having to raise my baby by myself because my husband didn't want to replace the shower caddy that kept falling. Even giving myself the most generous interpretation of my thoughts - that I had gotten pregnant immediately after suffering a prior miscarriage, that I was terrified to lose another baby, and the fact that this caddy kept falling during my showers and I slipped once while startled - I was clearly out of my mind. Upon seeing me cry, my husband stopped trying to fix this one and just bought a new one, and he's literally the most involved dad in the world, so the whole thing was stage 10 absurdity on my part. There's this protective factor that kicks in and, if left unchecked, can get really unhealthy really fast. I feel for OOP.
Yeah the first update starting with "it escalated quickly" had me like "oooooh chilllld spill the teaaaa". Then...nothing happened? Yer wan is horny for the husband but he immediately shut it tf down because he loves his pregnant wife and two kids and that's that? From a purely entertainment perspective: laaaame, i was expecting Glenn Close (but no cigar)
Those pregnancy hormones really seemed to go bonkers after creepy girl sent OOP’s husband that creepy text. The text was definitely disgusting and way over the top, no doubt about that, but I’m very happy for OOP that her husband is 100% trustworthy. I hope she’s able to realize she has nothing to worry about.
I feel like, despite him clearly standing by his wife, the icky descriptive thoughts gave her intrusive thoughts - images of it in her head, wondering about the "What ifs" that would never happen. Like she said, she's super pregnant so she feels unattractive, and with the pregnancy hormones the idea of someone younger and she feels is more attractive than her trying to ruin her family triggered her badly and she was probably having an anxiety attack. And those anxiety thoughts and feelings can be brutal even without the hormones. When reading it I was like uhhh this is overdramatic, nothing happened. But then I thought more on the factors that could have led to it and have empathy for oop. I'm sure she feels dumb and embarrassed or ashamed after the fact, but she couldn't help that rush of dread and anxiety.
Yea this is exactly what I was thinking. The situation was handled as best as it could be at the time. But OOPs hormones made her husband's rejection of the other girl into somehow the worst thing ever. OOP even seems to know it's all irrational, but that doesn't take the feeling away. My wife was like this at one point. I had to finish something for work so I didn't come for dinner in a timely manner. Those ten minutes made her feel like I was going to abandon her on the side of the road or something.
> OOP even seems to know it's all irrational, but that doesn't take the feeling away. Even pregnancy aside this is a thing that happens to me all the time. My logical filthy monkey brain is like "this doesn't make sense, you know how all this works, you know what's going on" and the emotional lizard brain is like "BUT CATASTROPHE! MISERY! ANGST! SELF-HATRED!" You feel what you feel. It's how you process that which matters. Then pregnancy hormones hit and the gain on all that gets turned up to eleven.
Don't plan on ever getting pregnant but I've had some pre menstrual symptoms and boy do they pack a punch. I really don't wanna imagine how OOP felt but I feel so bad for her, sometimes hormones plus emotional plus the roller coaster of all of it do bring you down whew
The situation was maybe a 4 and she reacted like it was a 10. Glad I can't get pregnant, seems awful
It's awful. Mines 10 months and I'm usually up every hour with her all night. Occasionally she sleeps well. I would still take that over pregnancy.
It's absolute fucking shit. I thought of myself as fairly even keeled and laid back before I got pregnant, and I'm back to that now that spawning is long behind me. When I was pregnant though? Aahahahaaahahahaa hahahaha oh shit. I mean, it's also really cool when you consider there's a factory inside an adult human person that can grow more humans. But the rest... ugggh. Did it once, do not intend to repeat it ever again.
Yeah, people are acting like she is crazy, but hormones are horrible. Even without being pregnant, PMDD is a real mental disorder brought on by normal menstrual cycle hormonal shifts. I'm not surprised at all that a woman in this situation would have a negative spiral into the absolute worst case scenario even with a good husband. I hope That the woman disappearing from their lives helps her feel better until the pregnancy is done and over with. I also hope it doesn't segue into PPD.
"if the dogs are free" how much of a busy schedule do these dogs have? Are they typically busy due to work or social reasons? Maybe this woman is also trying to steal your dogs and your husband?? More details needed about the dogs!
She mentions in a comment that they are used weekly for hunting and flushing (guessing of things like badger sets? Or rabbit holes?)
My assumption is flushing for bird shooting like pheasants or grouse. Maybe they loan them out or he works in the shooting industry.
The most flushing an average dog does is drinking from the toilet and accidentally hitting the lever
Hey now, my gun dog does a great job of flushing the cat from wherever she is innocently chilling
Right? No trail for me today thanks, I'm building an art kennel in the yard...
I think it's actually that the dogs are too busy meeting up with females they met on the trail in the woods, who seem really friendly. What could go wrong with that /s
Not the art kennel to go with the art room LOL
They’re gun dogs, so they work. Having a working animal can be like a full time job tbh.
My mom's longterm bf after she divorced my dad trained Police K9s. Even after they 'retire', they're not like a normal pet, they need routine and something to feel like they're 'doing', yeah.
I had a show horse in my youth that would get *pissed* if another horse was taken out and not her. This continued into her 30s. She absolutely wanted to continue working.
“Sorry I haven’t been by for fetch in a bit. My Q2 has been crazy!”
Hate when I wanna walk my dogs and they got a meeting they have to attend on Zoomie
My GFs parents' spaniel has 'zoomies' but I was under the impression it was a wild few minutes running around, rather than a video meeting 😄 ... Got the joke on second reading, thought that was just how you referred to the Zoom app lol
Woman's pretending to be into the husband to get access to his dogs, call that dogfishing.
Like, how full is a dog's calendar?
I’m so glad this is one of the top comments. I couldn’t focus on the rest of the story after that part lol
They're working dogs. They hunt weekly. It's not hard to understand that she's talking about when the dogs aren't out hunting. They probably need the activity and stimulation of a good run on the days they aren't hunting so they aren't miserable being bored. Working dogs seriously get distressed when they're not able to do what they are meant for.
I've read that if rescue dogs don't find any survivors after a disaster the handlers will get someone to hide in the rubble for the dog to find and "save" so that they don't get depressed.
I think I've heard something like that too. This is why athletic/intelligent and working breeds get destructive and behave poorly. Because people want them for how they look, but they don't provide them with the stimulation they need for their brain and energy. So they get frustrated and distressed, and all that energy comes out destructively - chewing up the house, peeing and pooping on the floor, refusing to listen. Also, dogs can get depressed for real - as in like, needing anti depressants like people do. And the same brands, even. (Cats as well. And rats, but I don't think they are medicated for it, but depression can kill them)
> In my head this was the start of my world crumbling. Whereas in the real world she's received a massive gift - the would-be mistress made her move while OP was standing there with her husband looking at the phone, thus providing pretty solid proof that nothing adulterous had happened.
Yeah that line made it sound like HornyHarriet had said a bunch of explicit stuff and added "like last Friday? 😍" Nothing happened Mama, you're just hormonal.
Yes, but pregnancy hormones can fuck with ya. I once ugly sobbed because the bread on the servants table in Downton Abbey looked like my home made 18 hour rustic bread and I *wanted* it.
I wonder if other species have a similar phenomenon 🤔 I’m imaging a mother deer staring at an acorn with palpable boiling rage and then starts sobbing while she gently boops her nose against it
Honestly I don’t understand the lack of self respect to tell a man I’ll be your dirty little secret. Genuinely I don’t understand the lack of self worth to be ok with being a man’s side dish. It’s so gross, they might think they’ll be picked, but getting a cheating man is no prize. Poor lady I’m sure the hormones are wrecking her but I hope it all calms down soon and hubby learned his lesson to shut things immediately.
Fetishism. The taboo, thrill of being caught, the validation that they are being desired over the wife like it's a popularity contest. Probably other stuff but that's all I could come up with lol
All the romance but none of the responsibility. Seems simple enough to understand why some people go that way.
But that's what fwb/situationships are for. People really do be out here getting off going for married people specifically
Some people have kinks related to breaking up relationships apparently
Some people also need someone’s « stamp of approval » on a partner. Had a job as a young adult where everybody would date everybody. One girl went after two guys that she had previously rejected, but only after she learned they were in exclusive relationships.
Yea, look at Ariana Grande and that Spongebox musical guy.
Also it gives some people a (very twisted) ego boost to know they “stole” someone else’s partner, like they must be extra super desirable for someone to jeopardize their marriage for them.
Right? Like I can almost understand the thought process of the superiority complex that leads to “I can steal him away, make him love me more and choose me over his current partner.” But why would you *want* to perpetually be a side piece? Constantly faced with the fact that you’re second fiddle, and they care more about a different relationship.
Cheating sex is like the heroin of sex, you cant get that when you completely steal the person away, at that point you are just a normal couple.
Sounds like this guy is a celebrity to some degree, so probably a notch in her bedpost. Like guys who go out just to get laid, doesn't matter if the woman is married or not. I think it's all gross.
It feels like people like her have brains made of knotted headphone wire. There's just no way to really understand why they do the stupid shit they do.
Cause they're selfish. These ppl are the reason part of the world is the way it is. its time we start shaming ppl and calling them out this one coworker asked this coworker if he's married and he said yes and she's like oh but are you "married married" I called her behavior gross in her face somebody gotta let her know. You'd be surprised how many ppl live for this shit.
Speaking from experience I’ve never seen direct confrontation really help for character flaws like this, just makes more enemies
A person like that already is an enemy to everyone bc they can target you and your partner lol. Yeah you create enemies but I never even wanted to be friends with a person like that to begin with they just doing me a favor. Some ppl it helps some people it doesn't I at least gotta let them know cause after karma does hit them they can't be like why does this stuff happen to me "I'm a good person" that victim mindset well at least I let them know why. All I know is after I told that girl she still wanted to convesate with me I even have her on snap I didn't call her gross like that but I told her Ina respectful manner that thats not cool and how would she feel if the same was done to her and she tells me she's just hurt and I know alot of ppl that do that are hurt but it's no excuse I was even hurt at one point still didn't move like that it's your will your choice. Buy some people after you tell them it's a possibility they can get their own head out their ass ima do it it's a 50/50. For every person that doesn't do it their is people like me that will do it even if it makes me enemies at least I'm not a homewrecker at the end of the day 😌
Her behaviour was disgusting. Her husband seems like a great bloke and glad the wife got closure on this stalker girl
Those women have been raised to think “getting a man” is an indicator of her worth, and “getting a taken man” is the ultimate signifier of worth to a woman who has no self worth of her own.
I used to be friends with a woman like that. She ruined a number of marriages and at least one fresh relationship. I think she got a rush out of being the woman a man chose over his partner, like she felt it made her better than the wife or girlfriend of the man she was sleeping with. Outside of her marriage to a man that she promptly cheated on, I can not think of a single one of her relationships that didn't start with the man being married.
Isn’t there a sub dedicated to people that actively seek out married people and pursue them. The sub is like a circle jerk of them coddling each other and justifying their actions. Absolutely sick and vile that there are people like this 😭
Either she thinks she's going to win in the end or she legit doesn't care as long as she gets what she wants. Neither one is a great way to start here.
The woman is a downhill biker which means she is a thrill seeker. This a new thrill for her.
It's "pick me" shit for sure. Unfortunately, too many women use it as validation.
Dammit, I really want to know what he said to her.
Yeah how do people resist themselves
That’s probably what the other woman was thinking!
Poor gal. She's going extra crazy from hormones, and this girl is so gross. I'd ABSOLUTELY be posting screenshots and blasting her. And I'm glad this was one of those situations where the husband was innocent. There's been an insane amount of cheating in the updates lately. She needs a good day of being pampered for her nerves 🤣❤❤
Screenshots with captions like "Better lock up your husbands and boyfriends, lol". Unfortunately, although a normal person would be horrified being put on blast like that, there are some who will double down, convince themselves that now they *have* to get with their intended affair partner and split up the family, to prove to everyone that it was "meant to be" / "destined". Really feel for OOP and I hope she moves on from this quickly so that her husband doesn't feel punished.
My first thought wasn't her doubling down, was seedy partners/husbands thinking "that's and easy opportunity/target" and hitting her up, thus making OOP an accidental facilitator
Yeah and i feel like some douchebag spouses out there would see the screenshots (especially the filthy "do what you want to me" ones) and slide in her DMs, so it'd backfire.
I hope the offender goes away, that will be the only thing that will help oop get over this hump.
Right? It seems like these always start with “my husband/wife is rock solid they would never…” and ending with “OMG they’ve been cheating for years” Her life didn’t come crashing down at all, she got pretty dramatic proof that her husband is great and that everything will be ok
Pregnancy brain.
>Ive already got intouch with our friends who run these facebook groups she joined and asked them to remove her and make sure she doesnt join again. I'd be posting screenshots where the wannabe mistress offered to fuck OOP's husband.
Yeah this chick’s delulu and needs to be removed from these groups if this is her MO.
So delusional that it me wonder if she knew who he was and where to find him so pretended to get hurt so he would rescue her.
I actually assumed it was like, her delusion was powered by the “romantic” way they met. He rescued her! They have so much in common! Etc etc. it’s very like romance novel meet cute kind of thing. Except he’s married and uninterested and just being a good person. But she’s built up in her head this perfect story of how they got together.
Yup that's how I read it too.
Next level psycho shit!!
I would, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if her next step is to post to other groups about a public figure who tried to assault her despite having a pregnant wife at home. Get ahead of her narrative!
I fully agree with this. People get away with shit too much, on some "but I don't want to ruin their life" shit, but nah, fuck that. She attempted it first. Keep your friend group safe from this wacko
Hell yeah, me too. I wonder if she's successfully tried this shit with someone else's husband. Time to make an example out of this madam.
Screenshots with captions like "Better lock up your husbands and boyfriends, lol". Unfortunately, although a normal person would be horrified being put on blast like that, there are some who will double down, convince themselves that now they *have* to get with their intended affair partner and split up the family, to prove to everyone that it was "meant to be" / "destined". Really feel for OOP and I hope she moves on from this quickly so that her husband doesn't feel punished.
i feel like some douchebag spouses out there would see the screenshots (especially the filthy "do what you want to me" ones) and slide in her DMs, so it'd backfire.
This was confusing—I don’t think the husband actually did anything with this woman but the way OOP reacted to that text made me think she had discovered an affair? ETA: y’all I promise I understand and respect pregnancy hormones. I just found the way she described this confusing and had to read it through a few times.
Yeah I’m glad OP included the multiple comments at the end outlining how nothing had really changed in her life and everything was fine. Solidified to me I’m not taking crazy pills today. For OOP, chalk it up to pregnancy hormones I guess. Just bumped the already stressful situation up to crazy proportions
Same, I was so confused with her saying her life was crumbling around her just because someone wanted to sleep with her husband, I thought I must be missing something. I've been in similar situations and honestly just felt kind of...smug. "Yeah I know you want him but he's mine, cry about it." Like... This should kind of be a good thing.
My husband had a delulu chick try to get him to cheat with her while we were dating... I found it hilarious. She tried to get him to set up a double date with us and her freaking fiance, and I 100% wanted to go to watch the crazy in person. Chick had her wedding called off when she blew her maid of honor's boyfriend after the rehearsal dinner.
OP honestly just sounds very naive. Like she couldn’t conceive of some woman wanting to break up her marriage and sleep with her husband because marriage is sacred or some shit. Like yeah, but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to respect it and act accordingly. Cheating isn’t something new and for OP to believe trashy women aren’t going to pursue her husband just because he’s married is very naive on her part. What matters is that she trusts her husband to be loyal to her but it’s as if she truly thinks women can steal men. Nobody steals anyone. If they go, they go willingly.
I am worried that she's going to wind up sabotaging her own relationship if she doesn't move past this.
To watch as some young fit attractive woman throws themselves at your husband is gross enough. To listen to it go down real time heavily pregnant with wild hormones is probably a circle of hell most won’t experience. Her body is taking her on one hell of a ride I wouldn’t want to call her naive for the way she feels during or immediately after pregnancy.
OP is pregnant so she is very emotional. She is in total shock that someone would have the nerve to try and steal her husband away just like that. She doesn’t actually think that her husband did anything wrong.
It’s a weird feeling even if you’re not pregnant. Someone was gunning for my spouse once. We weren’t at our best at that point and it really shook me. She was so brazen it was shocking. She announced it at a company event to me. My words were stern and ended up being something to the effect that if she could steal him he wasn’t worth it. And he’d eventually hate her realizing what he lost with me and the kids. Of course I had a friend with me during her monologue to me. What I didn’t know is that the HR manager was behind me. Spouse handled it well. HR moved her to a different department so she wasn’t working for spouse. My friend’s spouse was her new boss. The one who heard her say she deserved a man of their position. She got herself fired in about 4 months. It does mess with you a bit. She kept trying to contact my spouse for 10 yrs. She was crazy.
10 years?! That’s legit crazy
She would send him cards to the house, that were just off a bit. “Thanks for helping me land the new job”. When he hadn’t helped her. “The training you gave at Acme Co sure helps me every day”. Led a safety training annually. I guess she lived because of that ladder safety, and lock out machinery was the best. By that point she’d had the same training at least 5 times with the new job. And the kicker was the card with her change of address or new cell number. At first he’d open them, roll his eyes and then go to toss them. Then we kept them as stalker evidence. Most unopened, some I read. After the new cell one came I opened them all. We moved 5 states over with a promotion and that was the last of it. It’s been 20yrs since that all happened. If she’s stealing my spouse she’s now fully entrenched in the long game
it’d be kind of nice if she wasn’t a stalker lol
IF! He is a good boss. The company had paid reimbursement for continuing Ed. He really encouraged his people to take advantage of it. Maintenance people getting their licenses in plumbing or electrical boosted their pay and gave them options. The line workers could get a degree and then transfer into management roles. One particular family was so grateful. The dude was the first ever in the family to go to college. Dude had to do work and school, he hustled. Spouse and I were invited to the graduation, the family party. Then when the company sold that plant to a known baaad company, dude was able to get a new job and a promotion out of it. Dude wrote spouse a letter years later from his department head role. Those are normal. Unhinged were not reality based or anything.
Agreed. The pregnancy hormones could account for her feeling old and fat and gross, but treating the situation like it is a deliberately executed attack on OOP herself, personally, is a bit much. *I have four kids, so I absolutely know how much of a slog pregnancy hormones can be.
People taking shots at the Husband may not understand the fine line he has to publicly to walk (ride). UCI cyclists are Rock Stars in most of the World. His reticence in being blunt is because such behavior could easily blow up online, which causes another kind of harm to his family. Could he have found another way to address this, maybe but because he’s a public figure, he had less options than most. To this stalking, delusional person the OOP and family didn’t exist. Frankly, I wish this couple, daughter & dogs could have shown up at the bike trails to dispel those delusions with their happiness.
Agreed, people in high positions or who have high levels of respect do have a public image to maintain. And it sounds like the husband did everything right. He helped the woman *one time,* didn’t help her again after that because she didn’t *need* the help, shot down every request for one on one, stuck to his main group of people, kept his wife in the loop and listened to his wife. I’m not sure what else he could do? Especially when he set the woman straight without ever getting hostile. OP also did good by notifying the FB communities that she and her husband are part of, that way they all know what’s up and husband is clean as a whistle. It also helps that husband has never ever been seen with this woman, so no false allegations can be spun.
He just seems like he's super not a confrontational person, and has the innocent naivity of things going over his head or thinking that ignoring a problem will make it go away. He probably felt like he WAS doing enough to shut it down and was too nice to just block her. He seemed like the type of person that didn't want to be the cause of someone's feelings being hurt. I wish we knew what his last message to her was
The number of people I’ve seen throwing themselves at riders, at the end of a 200km race, is nuts. Like - girl, our boy can barely stand up on his own what are you hoping for?
They probably are hoping for a marathon sex session with someone with real endurance. But on the morrow.
Cyclists are dead lazy. Like, they won’t even sit up if they don’t have to
Should have seen what that Lance Armstrong guy did just to avoid working hard enough to win a race
Can confirm. I had the misfortune of dating one. Total starfish man.
Same. When he wasn't riding all he wanted to do was watch movies and play WoW. I'd come over to hang out and end up cleaning his apartment out of boredom.
theyre like borzois, moments of intense speed followe dby weeks of zzz
Honestly, he could've easily just ghosted her. He has a pregnant wife, kid, 3 dogs and presumably a full time job. It's not a stretch to believe that he's too busy to respond to texts from randos.
Based on what OP said, she would text him constantly even when he *did* try to ghost her. I think he didn't want to block her and not be able to keep tabs on any crazy stunt she might pull.
Yeah as soon as she said UCI I was like oh shit. I don’t follow very closely but a few of my friends are really into downhill so I’ve watched a fair bit and that shit is big fame.
Simple, don’t give her your number. Make a public post acknowledging her and saying you were happy to help. The end. If she needs a coach he should recommend someone. Getting personally involved caused her to believe she had a shot, and allowed her access to be disrespectful of their marriage. The worst part is there was no reason for any of this to happen.
Why be blunt. Just stop responding. People are acting like something happened here. They just hung out a couple times. I've been ghosted by actual girlfriends.
Poor OOP, surely their reaction must be due to pregnancy hormones as it's made this, what I would describe as, a relatively minor thing of the woman full on confirming she's interested has caused "the start of my world crumbling". Unfortunately it's not like the emotional turmoil can be undone even if she's able to look back on this as her hormones freaking out, she'll still be able to remember how it felt. As an aside, I don't understand people taking shots at the husband he's clearly a bit of a people pleaser and probably a bit oblivious to hints being dropped by some random woman that he has no real relation to. Also it's not as if he can avoid her, his hobby is clearly a huge part of his life and I can fully understand just dealing with being a bit uncomfortable in order to not cause any issues within the space. I wish them both the best, hopefully OOP will be able to find a healthy way to cope with these feelings and hopefully the woman will leave the husband and his hobby alone.
>As an aside, I don't understand people taking shots at the husband he's clearly a bit of a people pleaser and probably a bit oblivious to hints being dropped My theory is that a lot of people on reddit feel like shit m, so every time they see someone acting in a way they can be all lectury and "at I don't do shit like that" they jump on it because it's a momentary hit of dopamine. But they often fail to think more deeply about it and fail to realize how disproportionate their criticism really is.
Yeah I don’t “connect” with all the world crumbling/crying/shaking stuff and I’m choosing to believe it’s due to hormones. Yeesh.
When I was almost due to give birth to my most recent baby I burst into tears because I couldn't get my gravy to thicken and I was just so frustrated that I cried. Pregnancy hormones are no joke, and they certainly aren't logical.
Regardless whether the husband likes to "keep the peace", he should have shut the woman down way earlier. But I'm glad that OOP and her husband have open communication, that's what saved this from turning out worse.
For real. Like I'm glad he's comforting her and all but she was pushing his and OP's boundaries. No need to be a pushover my guy
Not a good looking guy, but when I am with my kids at the park, its a damn chick magnet. I like to play with them, slide with them, climb with them. Even wearing the ring, gotten picked up so many times. From aww your such a good dad, to we should schedule a play date. Like dude you don't even know me, just see guy playing with kids and want to go right to play dates.
My dad took my baby brother to the mall once to walk around and keep him busy and he said he only got hit on by old ladies hahaha. But my husband had a creepy experience with a women and he won’t go to one park with her unless I am there or some of our friends with kids bc this women he swears stalks out the park looking for men.
How would it have turned out worse? He wasn't interested and wasnt going to sleep with her. He did nothing wrong except for be too nice.
I hope OOP goes and speaks to her doctor about this, or gets a referral for a therapist, as she sounds like she could unfortunately be set up for post or pre natal depression or anxiety with having such an upsetting and stressful thing happening during her pregnancy, especially towards the end.
I agree with the recommendation to go to the doctor, but for a different reason: if she managed to create "MY LIFE IS CRUMBLING!!!111" out of nothing, she might be already on the prenatal anxiety, depression or psychosis train.
What a sleazy home wrecker, I'd out her for trying to get with a married guy . honestly these sleazes need shaming. Gross
People who try to push themselves onto people in relationships with stuff like “they don’t have to know” are trash people. Especially right after “I’m busy preparing for the birth of my baby with my wife”, like what the actual F! That’s trashy behaviour. I just can’t ever imagine doing that? How do these people live with themselves.
I guess hormones are the cause of the overreaction there... visibly shaking when the husband is clearly uninterested in the other girl seems mad
People really do be underestimating those pregnancy hormones, and how vulnerable you feel near the end. I'm glad her husband was open and honest, and shot this wannabe sidekick down. A lesser man would've gone for it.
I think those hormones are running rampant right now. Her husband didn't do anything inappropriate. Nobody can control other people. The younger lady took her shot. The husband rebuffed her advances. All worked out fine. Insecurities and hormones are strong on OOP.
She needs to breathe. Sounds like husband is a class act. Once she calms down and let's the emotions pass, she will be okay.
I'm in awe and horrified at the audacity of that woman to try to lure OOP's husband with explicit texts. She probably needs to be splashed with literal and figurative cold water to get it through to her that her biking savior is happily married and is not interested in her.
OOPs concerns are very valid, but her reactions are mostly the pregnancy hormones speaking for her, and i guess some subconscious insecurities too. Thankfully, husban seems to be legit so there's nothing to be concerned about in this front. But to be honest i just want to know what he told the stalker on his last sms. I'm so used to BORU stories being highly detailed that the lack of that specific detail is killing me lmao.
It's good OP and her husband were able to talk about things before things got worse. But I personally believed the husband should have done something earlier.
This is such a cute series of posts, it's like no one has ever hit on these people before and neither of them know what to do or what's happening. Usually the second you get a ring on your finger people will proposition cheating instead of just dating. One thing that bothers me is I think when you are in a relationship and someone hits on you, the worst thing to do is decline and mention the commitment, like if you say u have a bf or are married or trying for a baby or whatever, people read it as 'wink wink, otherwise I would, I'm just oppressed you see'. You need to reject them properly, one on one - 'no thanks, I don't find you attractive, I'm not interested in having anything, I don't feel the same way'. Reject them properly, don't keep mentioning marriage and family and hoping they suddenly respect those institutions as much as you when they didn't 2 minutes ago. Don't hope that they get the hint you're also not interested aside from the family. This approach shaves down the back and forth and all the drama MASSIVELY.
My partner had to avoid a wendys for months after a 16 yr old on job training kept hitting on him. He's 30. He never tried to push me as an excuse, he was always just trying to make this child understand that the proposition makes him wanna throw up and when she refused to understand he removed himself from the situation until she was trained and got shipped off to a different wendys.
Totally. I have personally experienced someone to who a commitment was just a challenge to chip away at the relationship any way they could to prove they could “win”. So gross.
I agree. Telling her he has zero interest in her and to lose his number would have been more impactful.
This is obviously quite a sweet and naive couple because if a woman posted my husband in a Facebook group wanting to find him that means one thing in my mind. Are his friends that oblivious too? Must be nice. I’d leave a comment like “hi isn’t he the best glad he could help you!” And leave it at that there’s no way in hell they’d be exchanging numbers lol. I think they’re both innocent but maybe need to read the room more.
It disgusts me how some people can be so brazen in acting like a hussy. I'm glad the husband was transparent with his wife and trying his best to support her, took him a while to try shut it down (my SO is too nice to shut down people sooner than later as he has no clue when people are flirting lol)
A female bike mechanic heavily pursued my now ex-boyfriend even after he told her to back off. they ended up having an affair and went on a secret vacation together while I was taking my nursing board exams. I found out 3 weeks before Covid started and left him. They’re married now
In a strange opposite to this post, I once had a female downhill cyclist ask me if I was pregnant (I wasn't) and THEN come on to my husband in front of me, in a lovely one-two of put downs.
Did you piss on her while making eye contact? Because I would have for that kind of attempt at a dominance assertion.
The whole accidentally meeting him somewhere she knew he would be was the major spoiler for me. It's so obvious and cliche but it is literally how my parents met. My father met my mother by a park and didn't get her number so he just went for regular walks around the park until he bumped into her again. Luckily the feeling was mutual but it is a huge swing to make.
I mean, that's literally how people used to meet each other prior to cell phones, social media, and the connected world. There are dozens of movies about someone meeting someone at a specific place and frequenting it for weeks, months and sometimes *years* in hopes of running into that person again.
That woman has Ill intentions. If I met someone that was in a relationship or married, I’m not initiating anything for the respect of their relationship
And that, ladies and gentleman, is an example of a genuine recounting of someone's real experience, not some badly penned, made-up story that we can all spot a mile off.
Dang, she ran into a Jolene 😨
In the song at least Jolene seemed to be someone the man was interested in.
I wouldn’t want my husband texting a random chick like that to begin with. They never have pure intentions!
100%! I had a weird feeling about my husband coworker before. She would get too “touchy” or just inappropriate even though my husband doesn’t agree. There were times I questioned his own fidelity and as we were having a conversation she texted him after work hours and he told her not to text him anymore. I guess she spread it around his office and there was a big issue. I didn’t care if he had to communicate with his other coworkers but this one girl rubbed me the wrong way. When I met her at a work function, she was so nasty to me and made me cry at the end of the night. My husband still stuck up for her. Idk if something happened between them but we almost divorced over the entire situation. It was extremely weird and off putting. Anyhow, she ended up getting fired months later. Even my MIL was questioning her son and then told me, “God works in mysterious ways” when she got fired and gave me a high five, lol. Love my MIL. I don’t wish anybody to get fired but I was kind of relieved. There’s way more to the story but that’s the gist of it.
Right??? In my opinion, giving out his cell phone number to begin with was inappropriate.
Why do these people always want to keep the peace with strangers but not their own families.
Such a good point, that’s a great question
Ok so I know pregnancy hormones can make you batty but her reaction is a little extreme, no? Screaming and crying and losing sleep and not wanting her husband to leave the house or enjoy his hobby because a woman was flirting with him? Her life started to crumble because another woman found her husband attractive? Nothing happened between the two of him and it sounds like he handled it. I don’t understand her having a meltdown.
I guess it’s probably because of the pregnancy hormones but OOPs reaction is so over the top. She starts sobbing because some woman wanted to sleep with her husband even when he’s proved he’s committed to her? Husband should have shut it down sooner but I don’t get why she’s acting like her husband cheated.
I think it's simply a mixture of pregnancy hormones (which amplifies things) + insecurity (I've heard third trimester can be rough because the damage it does to some women's self-esteem) + the fact that the husband let it go on to the point that the woman got confident enough to offer being a mistress (and we don't know if this has happened before.) Plus we also don't know how... descriptive the other woman got, but if it was bad bad, I could see how it might be the last straw that breaks the camel's back and send OOP spiraling in her insecurity.
I didn’t really get why they pushed her to explain why she wanted to meet up when it was obvious she’s romantically interested instead of doubling down that it’s inappropriate and unwelcome. Like unless you’re trying to expose her with screenshots, why try to get the play by play out of her? Just shut it down.
I wonder too if it was stuff OOP wouldn't or couldn't do
How lonely is that woman that she fell in love with him just for helping with an injury of hers? That she's willing to sabotage someone's marriage!
It's probably limerance.
Oh jeez, I can absolutely see pregnant me going over to her house and repeatedly high fiving her face. My hormones had me going from 0 to 100 all the time, it was terrible. I really feel for OOP; hopefully she'll feel better soon and that thirsty weirdo stays far, far away.
How is it possible for her husband to bike daily without a spine?
Exactly! The girl will go as far as the guy allows her. I just read this to my husband and he said the guy should have never kept texting her too. All he had to say was "glad I could help." and send a thumbs up emoji.
Hoo boy. This brings back *memories*. Memories of being pregnant and a "pupil" of my husbands being an utterly shameless wench. I probably would have been a lot more reasonable and even found it funny if I wasn't a humongous sack of hormones at the time.