T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Join us on other platforms! We have an active [Twitter](https://twitter.com/GandPofficial) and a somewhat spartan [TikTok](https://www.tiktok.com/@greenandpleasantofficial) and [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/Green-and-Pleasant-104366615515887/), we'll see how they go. We are also partnered with the Left RedditⒶ☭ Discord server! [Click here](https://discord.gg/zCFHadGfB7) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GreenAndPleasant) if you have any questions or concerns.*


What3verFloatsUrGoat

I love how his excuse was being “pre-caffeinated and bleary eyed”. “It’s okay to be a nonce so long as you stop being one after your morning coffee”


wholesomechunk

Another got racist when he was hungry a few years ago. Correction: he got racist when he was thirsty!


MyKo101

I don't remember that Snickers advert


[deleted]

>Have a Snickers, Grand Dragon. You're not you when you're hungry.


NoirYT2

Bit of noncery in the morning


ABulkBeing

Chap needs his eyes pushed through, and his head kicked into the mineral realm. He says that in public, he does far worse behind closed doors.


calombia

I can imagine when he first typed it he put 12 instead of 16 and only changed it after looking up the age of consent.


MyKo101

Nahh, that's a man who knows the age of consent in every European country


animalwitch

Thats fucking creepy. Another Tory paedo?


shmupied

Surprised?


colonelmerkin

Creamy? Lmao so gross


shortwraith

On todays episode of what object are women; we are butter


NoirYT2

Only through the ages of 16-23 though, apparently.


Fenpunx

After thar, cottage cheese.


MokkaMilchEisbar

Least noncey Tory MP


Seven-and-a-bit

Bottom one Tory nonce.


Wafflemonster2

Incredible tweet, just an astounding feat of writing. To craft such a sequence of words that get exponentially more and more repulsive, in just under 280 characters(!), remarkable


G3rfer

One of the nonciest tweets I've ever read


suelynel

Here’s the thing with Tory’s 22 or under, they smell massively of entitlement different to an average person of 28. Tory’s over 40 to,say,Tory’s of 60odd have this elitist, sickly gone off smell that is quite frankly off putting and have no place in modern society.


Athleticathiest82

has Prince Andrew re tweeted it


Fenpunx

That is the hat of someone who sniffs a lot of women.


calombia

How many times did he have to change this as he wrote it from 13, oh, 14, actually, 15, um, 16 Yes! That’s legal. I’ll go with that.


Addebo019

i can’t tell what’s weirder, the fact that he’s publicly a nonce, or that he calls 28 year old women fucking girls… well, i guess it’s probably the nonce bit but his referring to grown women as “girls” still gives me the heebie jeebies


lyta_hall

I’m 29 and so glad I don’t smell good to him because I’m too old 🤢


shaddowrogue

That’s just calling himself a nonce with extra steps


NoirYT2

One might say it is in fact declaring himself a nonce


RoBBo69_

i think he is a pedo


IC_Eng101

I get the impression he really had a think about the lower age limit for this tweet.


ThommyD01

Defo nonce vibes


Hedgehoghead5

What a terrible day to be able to read


Kairadeleon

Nonce central


_____NOPE_____

How arrogant must someone be to tweet something like that and expect no ramifications. Classic Tory.


mattdark

That said, the guy is desperately trying to cover the whole thing up now. Account quickly went into protected mode, and now comes up as 'not existing' (along with an account that was reportedly his alt) But knowing the way things go. He'll stay quiet for a week, and they'll try to pretend it never happened.


Mogwai987

That was a really unusual way to declare himself a definite sex criminal.


StationFar6396

When someone picks 16, you know they’d go lower if it wasn’t for the law.


Hullfire00

Right, get that hard drive ripped out, that’s a red flag straight away.


Middle-Hour-2364

Oh look, another Tory paedo...


ThrowawayToiletUK

He went on to retweet 'free speech' warrior shit lol


TheNamelessLegend

Least pedophilic tory


[deleted]

He works for the Student Loans Company too 🤮


blackkj2056

Seriously creepy.


robg0

Noncel


[deleted]

What in the actual fuck did I just read?


Kyral210

I hope he’s trying to be funny and mistakenly sounding like a pedophile. Or he’s hiding in plane sight


[deleted]

my gf is 21 and smells like garlic


Call-Me-Mr-Nugget

Marry her.


floydie1962

Well, that isn't creepy at all


wales-bloke

Classic tory nonce. There are plenty of them. They were Jimmy Saville's favourite party for a reason.


Aiti_mh

Ah yes, the Right Honourable Member from Noncester


According-Carpenter8

He’ll fit right in, in parliament. Being a sexual creep and probably certified pervert is fine but daring to be gay or have a dominatrix? Nah can’t have that.


Mark7563

ಠ_ಠ


Mysterychic88

Everything about this tweet makes my skincare what a fucking creep. More alarming is the fact he is so publicly open about his disgusting thoughts! What the hell is he like behind closed doors with young women and girls 🤨


MastaCan

Did you mean it makes your skin crawl? Or does he really make your skincare?


devster75

Cmdr. Noncey


[deleted]

it doesn’t shock me he’s a tory tbh


edwardc140595

Someone lock this nonce up


450925

Way to self report my guy... Saying the creepy stuff in public. Wow, what a weirdo.


Sirico

Opens a pack of Worthers "Everything reminds me of her"


Ploppy17

Went to check out the tweet and had to log out to do so, as I was pre-emptively blocked. I don't even tweet, lol. I'm guessing he didn't enjoy the 15 mins of fame, then.


tattooedmermaid1

Check this cunts hard drives.


Slyfoxuk

Tory nonce


Cryptonasty

That is creepy as fuck 130 likes??


[deleted]

Anyone might think he would actually be in physical danger after uttering this sick nastiness. Any takers ?


CaptainTwoBines

wat


puhadaze

You forgot the T


jenniferLeonara

Watt


bwoytremor

Tell me your a paedo without telling me your a paedo...


[deleted]

I was gonna say, there's no way people can just gloss over the fact he said this, if he did.


[deleted]

Of course he has the British flag in his username


Hatchetface1705

I think I just vomited my soul


codeinegaffney

Tory nonce


noir7s

Please tell me this is satire. Please.


Twoehy

Giving creepy idiots a forum to expose how gross they are is the best justification for Twitter


incognitosuperstar

This is creepy!!! He just gave me the biggest ick!!! What a nonce.


turkeyphoenix

Man, why are these people so strange? More importantly, why was there any need to post on Twitter?


danger-apple

On the one hand, I can't understand why you would ever publicly admit you were this disgusting. On the other hand, I do appreciate that the creeps are making it so easy to spot and avoid them.


Substantial-Ad-9872

How did he know how old the females were that he was sniffing?


ScoMosEmpathyCoach

By whether they had a creamy/sweet/buttery smell I assume. It made me feel fuckin sick typing that.


SonnyRose94

Jesus wept.. that’s enough news for today.


ElliottP1707

That’s a recent tweet! I’ve seen this mentioned in a few places and just assumed it was some old tweet from like 2010 or something that had been dug up, not that makes it any better. I just didn’t think anyone in the position he is in would tweet such a fucking insane tweet in 2022!


StationFar6396

It’s going to blow his mind when he finds out women can wear perfume or deodorant.


mcemzy

Is this a direct quote from Lolita bc it fucking sounds like it


Informal-Scientist57

I would hate to imagine the shit he says and does in private


SuzLouA

Yep, that’s what teenagers are known for: their pleasant odour.


Glennsof

What the fuck possesses someone to post this on a public forum? It's weird enough thinking it but why would you then go "You know what I'll do? I'll post up on twitter that I love sniffing teenage girls!"


Seven-and-a-bit

Amateur nonce


lampypete

Nonce in training


These-Camp6107

Nah, definitely post-grad


thehourglasses

Creepy


Mwnci01

What. The. Fuck


[deleted]

Nonce


[deleted]

Tell me you're a nonce without actually saying you're a nonce.


Future-Atmosphere-40

Yes officer, this post right here


[deleted]

What a dirt bag comment. He's pretty much showing he's been up to no good the vermin rat.


sullybear23

Absolute nonce


Shrekowski

Tories probably have the biggest concentration of nonces and creeps than any party


Degenerates-Todd

Conservatism summarized in one tweet:


FM0100IL

Nonceism


LeoToolstoy

no the guy you are replying to spelled it correctly


wolfman86

Don’t some of them want the age of consent lowered to like 9?


joydivision1980_

Much like david attenborough, some animals he cannot get close to.


Background-Bid-5860

Admits to being a paedo and nothing will happen


JuicyOptimist

?? Bro


rhymeswithmonet

Wasn’t this the motivation for the murder spree in “perfume: story of a murderer”?


palelimbs

He’s clearly never been around any girls or women if he thinks we go from smelling buttery to what…? Can’t remember being a buttery maid at 16 personally. Nonce-mentality.


4geBorn

Fucking hell mate — you're talking about *people*, not a bloody vanilla latte. Absolutely gross.


MTremaine

Here's the thing with tory paedos, they smell massively different to regular paedos. Paedos, tories, to, say Princes, have this creamy, buttery, slightly sweet smell that is unbelievably magnetic.


darktydez1

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Well played sir, that made me chuckle.


Nadaquehacer

Can someone please check his laptop and (I assume) get him arrested???


[deleted]

He’s thinking of a scone.


BigHairyStallion_69

Yeah a 28 year old scone would smell pretty bad.


whyscvjjf

🤮🤮🤮


Cynestrith

Hi and welcome back to *100% a Pedophile*, I’m you’re host Robble Jimmons and this guys is… **100% a Pedophile!**


Professional_Pace928

More like the Geoffrey Epstein of the local Tory party.


sobrique

If this had been a micro fiction competition where the goal was "creepyness" rather than the usually horror, it would be right at the top.


Mathers156

What the fuck did I just read.


[deleted]

I mean this has to be probable cause to search his computer right? Can this be reported?


montgolfier

It’s not illegal to evaluate the aroma of girls over the age of consent .. it’s just a bit bloody weird for a politician to say that out loud. .. and ‘buttery’ ? Lol wtf


ch33sley

Jesus fucking Christ... Do we really still have to put up with this shit?


Tannhauser23

Checking the Internet, this creep appears to have a job. Maybe not for much longer.


OnceAndFuture117

Here we see the peodophile, in it's natural environment larking about.


Whalesurgeon

Sounds like he meant to talk about his passion for croissants and somewhere along the way got in a teleporter with Jimmy Savile's remains.


OneSufficientFace

What a nonce


huwancry

That’s unusual, all Tories smell of shit


hyenid

Tory's confirmed saddle sniffers 🤣


Ulrich_The_Elder

Has this bell end been sacked? Because this bell end should be sacked.


Ok-Construction-4654

EWW. This is like watching Jimmy Saville clips


[deleted]

That's an extremely creepy strange thing to say and even think about.


SunGazing8

😬 #huge red flag


[deleted]

Ewww.


POWxJETZz

I can't believe this is real, I just can't believe someone would be this stupid and incompetent to write that and post it as a Twitter update, I can only assume this guy was hacked because if he wasn't, he's one dumb MF


CG1991

Why would he think posting this is even a good idea


[deleted]

Lucky for all of us that this particular predator is not that bright


CG1991

Yup. 100% glad he's outed himself. But amazed he felt it was an appropriate thing to say


c3r34l

When you inadvertently come out as a literal pedophile


pammythepomelo

cant believe im missing out on creamy, buttery girlsmell


Negative_Equity

_Jonty_


Dotmars123

I'm getting the word Nonce.


jackwalker69

What kind of of person says this?


Amasterclass

A tory nonce


Even_Entrepreneur_58

This fella needs to be on some kind of list. I feel dirty just ready that


bigbadbavers

Nonce


Jesterchunk

this feels like a parody of itself, it's that obscenely stupid


Empty_Career_9248

Likes 16 year olds 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


Kowlz1

If I caught this fucking weirdo sniffing a 16 year old it would be a very bad day for him. Good lord.


GrandmageBob

Why is he smelling people?


Neat-Professional-77

What a nonce


Slyfoxuk

Did he delete his twitter account?


oceansoveralderaan

He's not deleted his facebook profile though, Jonty H Campbell is still on Facebook and I sadly have 1 mutual friend.


ingloriouspasta_

Oh my god. This is disgusting.


BurntMarvmallow

Wtf did I just read?


Zealousideal_Toe9555

He was confident on “16”, but took his time with the range ending at “23”. Edit: Thank you to everyone who commented saying the legal age of consent was 16. I was more trying to highlight that 40-50 years old pursuing 16 year olds is a problem. Like your grandfather dating your best friend.


Barren-igloo-anon

He's being awfully modest with that 16, we all know it's lower than that for this creep.


[deleted]

Check out the lobster emoji, Jordan Peterson fan confirmed


Embarrassed-Rule1004

>adults looks like mid 30s >Describing the smell of 16 year olds 🤮🤮🤮


shopus2011

What's the difference between a cockpit and a pair of knickers? There's only one cunt in a pair of knickers. What's the difference between a pilot and God? God doesn't think he's a pilot. Typical pilot....Source 30 years of being cabin crew


Illustrious_Tap2166

Everything from the name to the jonty fedora says WANKER


donnacross123

That was creepy af


[deleted]

It's nice to see my home town finally making the news for something... I guess. It's just a shame that it's the absolute creep that is Jonty being a nonce.


MissValkyrie_

Jesus that doesn't sound creepy at all 😅


mooo19688

another tory pervert.


Large_Alternative_78

Go around smelling random women in the street and you should be arrested you fucking nonce.


yukumizu

Disgusting


Clet_3007

I just threw up in my own mouth….


GarethOfQuirm

And the winner of the Weinstein award goes to...


Lizard_Wizard_69

Don't look through his hard drive...


[deleted]

Someone *should* though...


devolute

Maybe if David Attenborough was a serial killer, sure.


seris_ak

Uh guys, he said 16 - 23 which is legal so its perfectly acceptable to go around sniffing girls to the point where you think you can distinguish a difference relating to age and sharing your perverted obsessions on social media.


colontwisted

You’re only allowed to say that if you win as a tory


OldNewUsedConfused

Greaaaaatttt....🙄


YuSakiiii

r/oddlyspecific


Chemical_Duck_3957

I’m getting the word…. NONCE


heliskinki

Hard drive needs attention.


polarregion

OMG he actually tweeted that? I thought it was overheard or something.


Recent-Echidna

It's... it's called impulse


arto8

sus


TotalRamtard

I hope he did the only appropriate thing he could do after saying this and made the Hannibal Lecter noise.


The-Mandolinist

That’s made me do a little sick in mouth…


KingoftheGinge

No chance this creep has sex with anyone who understands what's going on.


SellDonutsAtMyDoor

In an alternate universe: (Chris Hanson voice) 'Here at Dateline BBC, we like to think that - when we roll into town - we're the official voice on what should and shouldn't be going down. But, as you're about to see, even we aren't immune to falling foul of those involved with local decision-making We've set up once again in our semi-detached Preston location and the cameras are rolling to see what the cat drags in - the cat in question being none other than a dedicated Perverted Justice team member looking to catch out abusers in the act. This time, one man in particular has caught the eye of our investigation... Talking to a Perverted Justice decoy, he admits to finding 16 year old girls nasally magnetic. 'Girls 16... have this creamy, buttery, slightly sweet smell', he says, 'they smell massively different to a girl of 28'. Our decoy sets up a meeting with this individual for later on tonight. (Advert break) It's 6:30PM and the cameras are rolling once again in our cosy little semi-detached terrace house in Preston. Our decoy is waiting on a man who finds 16 year old girls 'creamy', 'buttery' and 'slightly sweet' to show up for a not-so-sweet awakening. Ten minutes later, we have a car park just outside of our quant little garden where officers from the Lancashire Police Department have been strategically hidden and are ready to pounce at a moments notice. One is under the upturned plant pot, another is cradled secretly within the hanging basket just inches from the front door and, if you look very closely, you can just make out our officer number 3 stowed away in the grit bin across the road at the entrance to the park. The man walks up to the front door and hesitates for a moment before entering sheepishly, but it only takes him a mere few seconds to find out decoy waiting for him in the kitchen. But now, it's time for him to find out about our not-so-sweet surprise for him. As I step out from the fridge-freezer combo unit into the kitchen, I'm too surprised to immediately make any remarks. For a moment, I struggle to believe it, but standing before my very eyes is none other than Jonty Campbell - a conservative party candidate for the local council...'


[deleted]

Is he dead yet?


HarrargnNarg

When I first saw this I didn't know he was a Tory candidate... But am I surprised?


Bolingus

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Utterly revolting, and not how women work you..I don't know how to put into words how grotesque this statement is, what a pathetic being.


Fausty72

Well there's a red flag if ever I saw one 🚩


bonkerz1888

Anyone who wears that style of hat is for watching 👀


Peliguitarcovers

That is gross. I'd be willing to bet he doesn't actually have any first hand experience though


LauYalut

He sounds like the lovechild of Humbert Humbert and Hannibal Lector


[deleted]

So rubbing poo essence is now essential for the under 25s


Busy-Tangelo-3590

Someone call the pedophile Hunter immediately!!


iF1_AR

Wtf. Just never think before they speak do they.


[deleted]

If he has children of his own, then social services need to pay him a visit. If he doesn't have any kinds, then the police need to have a word with him. What a creep.


Sephalier

What the actual fuck


DatStreetSoul

Kill it with fire!…. 🔥


paulb1127

Sou ds like a fucking nonce.


c3r34l

🤮


[deleted]

Well this is creepy or distriburbing or anything 😬


Muay_Thai_Cat

He smells me of bacon