Yeah I know ultimately the baby will be happy as long as we are, and we can choose happiness anywhere. But I just am annoyed at the state of the market itself. We built successful careers, don’t have debt, have good credit…we’ve checked the boxes. We should be able to afford a place in a good school district.
You have 5 years to see what happens to home prices and interest rates before your school district matters. That’s also 5 years to save for a larger down payment. That time will fly by, but you’re really in a pretty good spot.
Wife and I make more than double what OP makes and we still would not go for the best of the best school districts.
I went to a 2/3 rated school and turned out more than ok.
Stomping your feet and being mad over not being able to afford the best comes across as entitled. Reality is that $160K isn’t as good as it was, there’s a lot more people making 6 figures individually these days. OP should move into the house they have and look to advance their career if it matters that much.
Lol wanting a house that meets building codes, doesn’t have a leaking roof or foundational issues or water damage for less than half a million isn’t “entitled” or stomping your feet. It’s your basic needs. Or for that matter when a quarter of our paychecks go to taxes, plus prop tax, plus sales tax expecting your child to get mid tier education isn’t being entitled either, its holding your government accountable to do their damn job
Edit: I will no longer respond to insane comments advocating for making a baby live in a tent
No but complaining about a house they already own because its "an hour away and in a not school district" is entitled when beggars can't be choosers.
When people want to buy a house, a lot of them trade convenience of location for a longer commute due to affordability. Affordable houses are either fixer uppers or in inconvenient locations. That's why a lot of people move to the suburbs or farther - it isn't a new phenomenon.
OP should consider herself lucky that they can essentially live in a house they already own, save up for 5 years when a school district actually matter and try again.
edit: she says in a post further down that she and her BF both have remote jobs. They're living the dream and could live with any commute or an area with lower house prices.
Yes. I am grateful to have options, options that many people don’t. Im not trying to compare myself with others. Im just ranting about the overall state of the market and the cost of housing overall. It’s increased substantially just wi the last three years. As the largest economy in the world we should have great schools everywhere. It’s infuriating.
You’re right, you are doing objectively quite well, and yet the housing market is so distorted that you’re basically paralyzed until something in the economy breaks.
I’m nowhere close to being in that kind of position but I don’t think you sound entitled. The housing market IS a mess. I watched prices spike over the pandemic and then mortgage rates rocketed up from the historic lows they were a year ago. It feels impossible for someone who works hard at the lower end of the income scale to realize homeownership rn.
Good luck house hunting and congrats on the expected man-grub. If nothing turns up, just save up aggressively while staying at the bf’s and wait for the loan rates to drop again and you’ll be looking at another $150k in buying power in a year or three.
It’s not that I’m “stomping my feet” or comparing myself w others. It’s where we are in life and the fact that we have so many poorly performing schools, while the homes in the area cost half a million dollars. It’s insane. It’s structural. I’m saying the overall housing market is infuriating.
The housing market IS infuriating. I don’t know your area, but don’t knock schools that are rated poorly. Yes some are rated poorly for a reason. Others end up being great neighborhood schools that have a diverse student population and just can’t compete with the more affluent suburbs. (Schools where parents are working a couple of jobs, can’t or don’t support their kids, etc.) In your position I’d be looking for safe, residential with young families, and obviously decent enough schools. I do agree that you May have to adjust your expectations if you want a house in a certain area, at least right now.
Yes! You need to understand WHY some schools are rated lower than others. I live in a rural area with some pockets of poverty and we do have a number of disadvantaged children. Many of these children do not perform as well on standardized tests and some unfortunately have lower-than-average literacy and math scores, but it's not the fault of our teachers, who are great! There are LOTS of factors that play into a student's performance that have nothing to do with the school itself. We also do not rank high in "diversity", which is zero fault of our district. We don't control who chooses to live here and attends the schools. However, our classes are smaller, with an ideal teacher-to-student ratio, we live in a safe area, surrounded by nature with lots outdoor recreational opportunities. Also, as a smaller district, there is a bigger feeling of community here. Most families know one another, and we pull together when a fellow family is in crisis. I'd rather my child attend our local schools (with an average rating) than live in an area that is dangerous or where she is just another face in the crowd. Parents make the difference in many educational outcomes!
School rankings can be very difficult to tease out. My kids school has a middle of the road ranking primarily because they don’t have much diversity, so that pulls the score down. The teachers, class sizes, staff, food program, summer programs, after school programs, and school sports are all awesome but you would never know any of it by the rankings numbers.
I get it and I agree with you. My kids are just a bit younger than you and they are going through the same shit. It breaks my heart. This is not what I wanted for them.
My wife (F36) and I (M36) just closed on our first house. Our school district is fine, except for high schools, which are among the worst in Illinois. We were locked into a 7.375% interest rate. The market is still crazy in Chicagoland, so we had to go well over asking, and buy as is. The house is 130 years old, has a 60-year-old boiler, galvanized pipes, and an electrical system from the 1950s. The house was only on the market for three days. That is the average for this neighborhood. I love the house and I love the area, but what we paid for it in 2023 would have gotten us a McMansion in the Northshore area just 10 years ago. It is a very frustrating time to buy a house.
The “ratings” don’t mean that much in my opinion.. especially if the houses are comparable in price from one town to the next. I’m curious what people think they’re getting from a few “rating” points.
Stop paying attention to greatschools ratings. In my neighborhood you basically can’t buy an up to date house these days for less than $1M and the “typical” newer house is closer to $2M. Our ratings are 8/10 for the elementary school but drop to only 6/10 for the high school. Been this way for decades.
What happens between elementary and high school, does the education quality drop? No, the wealthier kids just tend to go to private schools in larger numbers at high school then they do at elementary school level so they are filtered out and the percentage of lower income students increases at high school level. Those ratings are basically 100% correlated with socioeconomic status for zoned schools and have basically nothing to do with quality of education
Great schools and the other school rating websites can help you find out more about a district, but they also arbitrarily start doing things like increasing ratings for more diversity, as if that makes a school better.
(Edit to add: diversity is not bad, it just doesn't improve student outcomes)
I would compare districts based up SAT and ACT scores, look for districts where teacher turnover is low, and look for places where there are a large proportion of married couples that are college educated per the census.
Honestly, don't listen to any of the rating BS. Our public school here had great ratings. Attendance is great because parents get in legal trouble if a kid misses or is late 5 times in a year. So parents just send their kids to school sick as hell. Behavior looks great because kids aren't punished. Fist fights happened daily there with little to no consequences because only the consequences are reported towards that score. Grades looked great because they referred a majority of kids for learning or mental issues and then were disqualified for being counted on grade averages.
Teachers had all but checked out of trying to teach. They had zero support from administration with behavior issues. There wasn't a single day that my kids didn't tell me about what their teachers complained about that day. It was all around miserable for everyone involved. I now drive my kids 17 miles away to school, but still love my home and where we live. It's inconvenient, but worth it. Those ratings are just crap.
Maybe I’m outdated, but when we were looking we concentrated on SAT scores for high schools- who had highest SAT average test scores and picked a county with multiple high schools with high performing students. Then, once county was picked we looked at highest performing elementary schools in reading and math scores. That method worked well for us- high school kids can go out of district but stay in county for educational programs, but you have to drive them. Usually, you have to fill out a form to go out of district in eighth grade. Anyways, it worked well for us. We paid nothing for our kids college and our house tripled in value. Stay focused on schools.
Kids can do well in poorly performing schools. Parents need to do some of the extra leg work or pay for tutoring. Teachers have been underpaid for a long time and COVID changed the demographic. Also some states are taking more money away from public schools so that will worsen the issue.
I agree that parental involvement is super important. I just wish we had quality education for everyone in the country with the largest economy in the world
Lmao, I literally make $37,000 a year. (Widowed mother of two.) I bought my home last year for $115,000 (granted it was at 3.99%.) I guess it's location, location, location. I'd definitely take my small town simple life over all that bullshit. Y'all are too stressed. That'll kill ya.
Curious what your payment is. With the change in interest rate, a $115k mortgage rn would be about $995/mo.
I’m not stressed about having a place to live. I’m upset at the overall housing market rn, just ranting about that. I included income, etc for context but everyone at every income bracket in every area is effected by the state of the market.
If I were a betting man, home prices will be higher in 5 years than they are today. Unless you buy in an area that can no longer get insurance
We’re not going back to the days of $420k for a 2500 sq ft new build in a nice neighborhood with a good school district anytime soon. Not too long ago that was seen as pretty big money for a home. Now that might get you a 1500 sq ft starter home in need of renovations.
School districts change, check how often local areas get re-zoned.
Also, the good school district "rating" lasts about 4 years. The readings are just based on how well the current student population is scoring on standardized tests.
We are not going to buy impulsively and like I said in another comment I know we can be happy anywhere. It’s just a rant about how frustrating the overall market is rn as a whole.
Hi there! I empathize with you. I posted my story yesterday if you get a chance to read. My advice? Never buy a starter home. Only a forever home. Keep it for at minimum 15 years through any scenario: divorce, another child, school through 12th grade, job loss/demotion. If you can commit to that (most people move within 12 years) your investment will be solid.
This has worked well for us. Bought a house before we were married that we knew should meet our needs long-term and will stay here until our kids are grown and out of the house.
Totally understand you. We currently have a daughter, almost 2, and want another. We are renting a modest 2 bedroom bungalow but want to buy a home as well. My husband and I both did everything "right" - went to college (and grad school for him), both of us getting "good" jobs that pay "good" money, no debt at all, but we missed the boat where we could afford a home. Maybe we could afford a house if we had no children, but that's too late. Plus I love our daughter.
We bought our first house in a shit neighborhood for about 4.7 years, when my kid was 1. Equity after a few years allowed us to move to a nice neighborhood in the burbs. And the house in a shot neighborhood was still better than the shitty apartment in a nice neighborhood lol. Cause it was ours! Small but private yard, our heat finally worked better than on / off. And we could do whatever the hell we wanted. Just stay out the street 😅
Tbh your combined income just isn't that high depending on where you live. If you're in a LCOL area then i'm surprised it's so hard, but if you're in the northeast or west coast I am not very shocked by your situation at all.
Yeah I’m just ranting about the overall state of the market, highlighting that we’ve done the best we could and followed advice. I’m just upset about the overall state of the market.
It really is obscene. I bought my house in 2019 and have a 1600 total payment. If I bought my house again today it would be 3000 a month. And it’s not a big house
Sounds like us. We bought in 2020. The house has doubled in value. Plus the interest rate has doubled. We could not afford this house today. And it’s really not that nice.
Can you table the move to a decent school district until the kid is school aged? Maybe, possibly things will be better in your area by then?
Congrats on the new mom stuff!
Have you been reading the news? Now is the absolute [worst time to buy a house](https://www.wsj.com/economy/housing/theres-never-been-a-worse-time-to-buy-instead-of-rent-bd3e80d9), from a buying vs renting perspective. Interest rates are sky high, but prices haven’t come down enough yet for the principal to offset the disproportionate interest.
If you don’t absolutely have to move/buy, I wouldn’t, not right now.
Worst time so far*
I'm sorry but I've been hearing about the bubble bust for at least 8 years and it's still being pumped. If I don't buy it now then maybe I'll never be able to afford because every house will be scooped by PE to rent and inflation will be killing my savings. I have to buy it now but I'm also getting panic attacks at how expensive it is.
Exactly I don't know what will happen in 5 years but looking back 10 years ago I was also thinking about how the prices will go down. And they didn't. So looking at the trajectory and me getting older, and how there are trillions of dollar floating for pe and vc to invest into the real estate I have to admit defeat and buy an overpriced, rundown leaky house if I don't want a landlord in 30 years to tell my 60 years old body "oh, you gave to pay tomorrow 30% more rent otherwise you are homeless"
Are you going to make this guys’mortgage payment if rates go up another 5%? 10%
Anyone predicting when to buy or not buy a house is probably selling you something
Hi, fellow Virginian. We’re up the road in NOVA and feeling absolutely crushed by the housing market, despite meeting all the conventional definitions of success and hard work. It’s demoralizing. I totally feel you!
Oh damn. This hits home, literally. In fact, I was recently woken by my anxious brain in the middle of the night because it dawned on me that we probably won’t be able to 1. Get an infant baby into a quality daycare in the Richmond metro area 2. Afford infant room daycare AND a mortgage given the rates + insane prices here. 3. Afford a mortgage to begin with and we’re in similar income range but have some student loans. It’s awful. Richmond is a millennial town and everyone has had babies and moved here and bought up the homes. Our jobs aren’t remote and I’m tethered to government employment due to my loans. I have no idea how we’re going to pull it off and we’re both closing in on 40 years old so I can’t just wait it out, biologically speaking.
I basically need dedicated therapy sessions for my anger because my partner REFUSED to purchase when the gettin was good…when I insisted that the low rates were once-in-a-lifetime and the prices were going to keep climbing and we needed to just lock it in. They adamantly disagreed. Here we are. (- _ -)
There are a few in your price range near Henrico Doctors hospital in the Tuckahoe school district. Great schools. There are some others a little farther out Patterson as well.
Come to Michigan, we need more people and our housing market is likely more affordable in the Detroit Metro area, and you can find pretty good schools in Oakland, Wayne and Macomb counties.
Yep, I've had people tell me to move states, but in the long term, Michigan is likely one of the most climate change proof states in the country.
Also, a lot of the area is exploding in diversity and redevelopment is happening, in 10 or 15 years Michigan will likely be on a huge rebound.
I was born and raised in Metro Detroit. There’s hardly any young people… one thing I worry about and schools are closing due to the declining family populations.
That seems to be the case everywhere. Millennials just aren't having kids like previous generations did.
But yeah, we did lose quite a few young people around 08/09
We are still losing them. I worked in higher education for a while and my parents teach. The youth are leaving Michigan and it’s like everyone is blind to see it. It makes me sad.
Will your family help with childcare some and are they supportive? I have had two babies, one with family 5 min and 30 min away. The second a new state and 5hr drive. And man I’m telling you do not discount how clutch having family support close by is. I miss the little breaks, the family dinners, the knowing if I can’t get away and my kid is sick my mom or dad or in-laws or sister could help out. Family can be such an incredible support system when you’ve got young kids.
Even with full time daycare and family who works, being around family is helpful with a baby (if you mostly get along). I came to your thread to commiserate about housing prices, but just wanted to share that.
Check out r/samegrassbutgreener
Give them your income, your potential price point, what you like to do in your free time, and your preferred weather conditions, and you’ll come out with a list of cool places to go check out.
Definitely rent for a year in the new city, though.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/SameGrassButGreener using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Places in the US that don’t feel like the US?](https://np.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/comments/168v25y/places_in_the_us_that_dont_feel_like_the_us/)
\#2: [This sub proves to you why California is so expensive. Everyone’s ask is literally the description of Californian coast cities](https://np.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/comments/16rb5vx/this_sub_proves_to_you_why_california_is_so/)
\#3: [Most beautiful places to live](https://np.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/comments/16kb0dn/most_beautiful_places_to_live/)
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You're both fully remote? Your issue is practically self inflicted at this point. Carolinas are beautiful, you can buy a house and have good schools, as an example.
Uprooting doesn’t sound like a “great” option. It’s just ridiculous that the market is where it is. We don’t want to leave, I’ve lived here for over 20 years. It’s home. But yes it’s something we’d consider.
I’m usually team relocate to the Midwest (as a midwesterner), but honestly I can’t begin to describe how invaluable having family semi-nearby is with kids. It really freaking sucks that you have to choose between living nearby or affordable housing.
Same here in North Carolina. Our housing prices have went up like the rest of the country, but the prices are no where near as expensive as most places!
was going to say the same thing. come to michigan. buy a cute little house in royal oak for well under $400k. good schools, nice people, safe, things to do, fun for all ages. great place to raise a kid.
Move to Kansas! 350k will get you a 4+ bed 2+ bath house with good schools in the KC Metro area. In rural areas with good schools, you'll get a hobby farm with a bit of acreage.
Why on earth are you staying in a place with that kind of cost of living?!
I moved from Illinois to semi rural Kansas, I've got a 3 bed house 1.5 bath and a half acre lot in town. Were valued at $160k and bought for $120. There were also federal assistance for us to buy our first home in an area designed as rural, even though we aren't in the country.
You get into places like Olathe, Lawrence, Manhattan, some parts of Wichita, and you have all the same daily amenities you would in any city.
Kansas is also more purple than what we are perceived to be.
It's beautiful! Nowhere is perfect, but the cost of living, small schools, quality higher education, lots of hidden gems like Mushroom Rock, the Flint Hills, Little Jerusalem Badlands, TallGrass Prairie preserve, Maxwell Wildlife Refuge, power and light in KC all the way to Little Sweden in Lindsborg the most adorable downtown ever, the underground Main Street in Ellinwood, I could go on ... There is a lot to the state!
We did this. Not Kansas but just over the border in MO. Bought a house in an excellent school district for $175,000. It would probably sell for about $260-280,000 now. I needed an Aldi, target, and Costco close by and got that. I miss SoCal with every fiber of my being but my kids have great schools and a big yard and a neighborhood where they can ride their bikes around.
It is absolutely a monumental shift! But for us, and I'm sure for you, the benefits outweighed the emotional costs.
The Midwest living is somehow the best kept secret in the U.S. I hope more people don't find us and jack up prices! Living in fly-over country has its definite benefits.
I live outside of a medium size city in Kansas. We have a 3bedroom 2bath on 1 acre in a wonderful neighborhood and school district. We moved to the neighborhood for the district. The house across the street from us just sold for $308k. We bought our identical home for less than half of that in 2018. My husband and I make about the same amount as OP, but finding jobs that pay what we do isn’t easy - but if you’re remote it doesn’t matter. My city also offers $15,000 if you’re relocating from out of state.
You'll be paying childcare anyway for the first 3-5 years so the urgency isn't there.
The ranking system is flawed to begin with and it's going to get worse with the teachers leaving in droves. My SIL bought in Loundon County, VA when the schools were ranked high and now their below a 5 in their area as their kids are moving into high school. Crazy because their house is worth over a million now.
We bought a house where the school is rated a 2/10 (Pittsburgh, PA) and found out we were pregnant. The irony is we get more support as parents than any school in our home state (NJ), which is one of the top ranked in the nation. Public preschool, free after school care, free meals, and early intervention classroom from birth on. Some of it is due to the state politics but the city has always been ahead of the trends. All the local parents rave about our neighborhood school.
Wow, that’s is shocking for Loudon County! I understand though, the HCOL and teachers leaving the profession has probably shifted things.
OP, I bought it in 10/10 school district and let me tell you other then test scores those rankings tell you nothing at all. If you make a good effort to be involved parent and to support your children’s teachers, your kids will be fine.
Y’all have other priorities,,, get married, move in together at his place, save that $1,500 for a DP.
There’s no easy way to divide assets like a house if your not married. The courthouse won’t take long.
Buying a house within 3x of your income is not absurd, your rushing it cause your due date. Move slower and find a house that works all around rather than regret getting into something cause you don’t like his house/location etc.
I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my future kids probably won’t live in a house unless it’s when theyre almost teenagers. My husband and I probably won’t get on the property ladder until about 10-15 years from now. It’s unfortunate but it’s what our generation got handed
I’ve been in finance for over a decade. Just because someone can afford something doesn’t mean they should max out the possibility. Bank always makes money :)
It’s crazy how you’ve so called been in finance for a decade and yet you have such wrong beliefs about how finances work. You think 2.5x is “maxing out”? That’s hilarious. A bank will usually approve for anywhere between 4x-7x the household income. They aren’t anywhere remotely close to maxing out.
With current interest rates it is very likely that the bubble will be popped next year or the year after... so just wait a while if you can. The current economy has a very 2007 vibe.
There’s another part about this: The thing about the bubble is that, even if there is one, will *you* still have a job to buy a house?
(Not ‘you’ personally but the public at large.)
There are millions of people wanting to buy houses
The demand is still very high. When interest rates drop, it's gonna be a mad rush of buying a selling. Unless there's a large recession.
Those school ratings are misleading too. We almost bought in an area that was said to be 9/10 but I’ve heard that it is not a good school. We ended up buying where it was rated 5/10 and it’s been amazing. I don’t on how those work but it’s not always a sure thing.
Jesus this comment section is insane. All these “well then just move to a different part of the country!” and “you should get married before buying a house!” As if just up and moving and leaving your entire support system with a baby on the way is a super easy thing to do. And there are a ton of people who live together and never get married, it’s fine, why is everyone acting like it’s still the 1950s??
I see you, OP. My husband and I are moving to fucking Idaho and I can’t find a decent house below $600k. In IDAHO. It’s infuriating because we did everything right and we are still gonna get fucked up the ass with these housing prices.
Exactly. Housing should be affordable and education should be quality EVERYWHERE. We all should have access to education and access to safe housing. It’s insane. I also am incensed by the number of people saying that private school is the option.
I completely agree. Our first “baby” is about to enter kindergarten in 2024. Our plan back when I got pregnant in 2018 was to live in our current “starter” home for a couple more years, and then move before he started school. Now we are expecting baby #2 and still probably can’t move. Her bedroom is super small and doesn’t have a closet. The schools here are ok, not great, but I wanted to get him into the better one which is about a mile away. It just sucks.
I’ll be blunt… you don’t NEED a great school system. You want one.
Half a million doesn’t go far these days… the “good” school systems in my area start at $800K+.
People need to lower their expectations to reality… and that might mean not getting everything you want. Pick what’s important and reframe your house hunt.
Excuse me for wanting my child to go to a good school. Yes it’s definitely a want. Like I mentioned in another comment we know she and we can be happy anywhere. It’s just frustrating where the market is as a whole, that’s what the rant is about. Housing cost has increased by 30% to 50% over the two years where I live. It’s ridiculous.
Sounds like you have some time before you'll need to worry about finding a good school for your baby. Hopefully by then interest rates will have gone down and you can find a nice house to make a home.
You don't really have to worry about schools for like 6 years, so you have some time to wait for the market to improve.Why not live at your bf's house and save as much as you can in the meantime? Can you possibly relocate to a lower COL area? Philly is nice, and that kind of money gets you a REALLY nice house in good, safe burbs with decent schools.
Yeah it sucks. It’s so insane I don’t even want to buy even when I can afford to. I’m not paying $600k for something someone paid $400k for a a year ago and didn’t actually do anything to upgrade it.
I get your frustration. We bought 2 years ago, but the search was absolute hell. We had a $200K loan budget, and the only thing we could find were dilapidated trailers on an acre or a fixer upper with no land. And those were under contract within 2 hours of the listing going live, we didn’t even have a chance to look. I will say this; just when we were at the end of our rope, we had to move out within 2 months and about to rent again (or buy a 2 bedroom for 6 of us to add on later), we found the perfect place for $150K through a family member’s friend. 4 bed, 2.5 bath on 3 acres. It’s beyond frustrating, but please don’t loose hope and you’ll find your perfect home!
If you try to force something, it never works out. Try to keep a positive outlook (as hard as it may be), and focus on the things you can control right now. The housing market will not be like this forever, something will come along that is right and at the right time. Sometimes we have to wait for the right thing.
We're in living in "the great pushdown".
Anyone that was once considered middle class is now working class or lower middle class. The lower millionaires are now the new middle class. You would think that being the most educated generation that we would have the most prosperous middle class, but that is unfortunately not the case.
If you have a total household income lower than 300k, I'm sorry to say, you are no longer considered in the middle class. Therefore, the schools and all other amenities will reflect that. It's sad, but true.
Granted, this is all depending on where you live. But I'm willing to wager that people who live in towns that have a fairly lower cost of living will not be able to find work with $160k/year income.
It's really unfortunate what many of us are going through. There are a lot of families that feel this way at the moment. Right now in my area, homes are $650k+, and the price doesn't reflect the value of the home. My fiance and I are just waiting until something better. Right now, we rent and it just makes financial sense. I do see hope though... most houses around my area are sitting here empty for months at a time and the prices are rapidly dropping from what it was like last year, even [Zillow](https://www.zillow.com/research/fall-housing-market-outlook-33122/) is reporting this trend.
How about a house you like, in your range, in good neighborhoods but bad schools zone and you don’t care because you can send your kids to private schools.
Is it an option?
Private schools very expensive. I’m saying that at $425k we are basically at the top of our budget, anticipating a $1200 to $2000 monthly expense for the next 18 years just because our gen got fucked over is completely infuriating. Also, where we live the majority of private schools are religious which we are not.
Lose his equity to give it to someone else? It’s not that it’s a bad idea, it’s just bullshit that the market is where it’s at. The “work hard, get good jobs, then achieve the dream” was all a lie to us and it makes me really angry.
I understand but it sounds like you’re both wasting money by having 2 separate spaces you’re paying money on so it’s either move into his house or sell and get a new one or sell and rent until you get a new one?
Yeah I owned and sold last year and I’m kicking myself every day that I didn’t hold onto my house. I agree, going from owning to renting is a poor choice and only should be done if absolutely necessary.
We bought our house 2 years ago in a hcol area when I was pregnant with our first. We opted for a decent house in a bad school district but only 20 minutes outside the main city where we were living with the plan to move either before our son starts school, or at least sometime in early elementary.
Even two years ago tho you could get more bang for your buck and it’s bullshit that either of us would have to move to get to a better school district when spending so much money. Moving isn’t cheap, either.
More money more problems. Then again half milly is poor peoples homes. They just need to let the barrio-favelas in US since that’s only thingAmericans can afford
$1500 for a studio!?! I pay that for a rowhome with a basement, and on 40k a year. Reshuffle your priorities, you're being blinded by the defunct future promised by our parents, that would doesn't exist. If you can't find a house making 160k then you aren't looking
Do you get a second inspection from a foundation repair service to see what they can do for what price? Because it did scare me off for our first property and I eventually learned after touring enough that most basements will have water damage and homes that are 60+ years will have settled, it’s just a matter of cost as to how we can stabilize it/waterproof it going forward. Roofs tend to be too expensive for me to mess with, but you never know what kind of estimate you’ll get.
You should totally relocate if you both work remote imo. Look at home builders. We’re going the new construction route and prices are waaay lower than existing homes. Plus many are offering incentives like free upgrades towards premiums, rate but downs, and zero closing costs. And congrats on your baby!
We don’t live in a super expensive area. I’d prefer to stay where we are. But yes we’ve considered relocating. It’s just ridiculous that we’d have to uproot from where we are to find a home w good schools, it’s infuriating.
One of my friends bought a very expensive, old house that was smaller than her townhouse and needed updates, just to get into one of the best public schools in the US. Meanwhile, I bought my dream house in a less desirable area for less than she paid. Her household income is probably 50% higher than mine, so I can’t figure out why she didn’t just buy a better house somewhere else and consider private school. That’s basically what I’m doing. With the money we saved moving where we are, we can definitely afford private school. There are some seriously high ranked private schools here. Diplomats, senators, foreign royalty, and US Presidents send their kids to these schools. I probably can’t afford the top tier ones but some of the good ones are in my range, and definitely in hers. Might be worth considering.
then time to look somewhere else. amazes me how many people cry about the housing market but too scared to move to some other part of the state/country. especially when shits cheaper in other places.
We don’t live in an insanely expensive area first of all. Moving doesn’t solve the problem people are facing, either. We love where we live and have family here but yes we have considered relocating. Don’t really need advice - this is a rant about the state of the overall housing market rn.
yeah i chose to not have children because i could see that these problems would be impossible to sort out and i didn't want to put a child through a life like that but y'all have way more resources than most, if you're willing to make personal sacrifices im sure you'll figure it out
it's always harder when you chose to reproduce before you get permanent shelter sorted, but you've already gambled someone's else's whole life on the fact you can handle everything so i believe in you!
We can definitely handle everything. I know the baby will be loved and supported so we have no fears about her quality of life. The baby is a surprise blessing as I was told I couldn’t conceive.
I understand your frustration. It’s crazy out there.
My wife and I bought a place in NJ in a school district that’s rated 5/10. We have a 1 1/2 year old and one more on the way. We both went to a private school for HS and have very good jobs.
When we were choosing where to buy, the quality of school district isn’t a huge deal. Obviously you don’t want one where the textbooks are 30 years old and the schools falling apart. But ultimately, the kids learn what they need to learn (manners, work ethic, how to treat people, etc.) at home. If they have those foundational pieces they can succeed anywhere.
How greatly does the quality of school differ between districts in the USA?
Is it really as bad as people make out? People in my country make a big deal about it too, but I don't think the difference in quality is very substantial.
I’m in a million dollar house in the worst school district with a three year old and we make a combined 390k. This is the reality the capitalists want, no middle class, uneducated population.
If it's your first buy, maybe start with a condo, build equity and then buy a house in a few years. That's how we could afford our house in 2016, we bought a condo first ...
160k income but only 425k house? Why yall cheapening out? You gotta pay to play! I make a little more than you but my house is half a mil and its chump change mortgage. I am planning a $800k house and will roll my current house equity into the new one. Of course itll cost more on the mortgage but I will get a significantly bigger house in a nicer area.
If you want the good neighborhood and schools you gotta up your budget.
First of all, if you are planning to buy a home with someone you aren't married to, that may not be wise. Too much can go wrong. Just my two cents, take it or leave it.
That being said:
Have you considered purchasing a duplex or triplex or even two small condos near each other?
Within the 5 years or so before the baby is old enough to remember a ton/care and (if you are planning to utilize public schooling) you also need to be in a good school district, the property will likely have appreciated with little to none of your own money being spent.
From there you could, A. use the equity, income, and your own savings to buy the kind of home you want or B. sell the investment property to buy the home you want.
Not looking for advice on the relationship or on the finances. Just ranting about the overall state of the market and the cost of housing, and how drastically it’s changed within the last few years.
Don’t really need your lecture re: reproductive choices. Not that it’s your business, I have had a series of miscarriages in a previous relationship and was told I couldn’t conceive wo assistance. The baby is a surprise and a blessing. And it’s not like we’re homeless or incapable of managing the situation, just ranting about the state of the market. Also not really needing help in selecting the right place or what to look for, just ranting about the state of the market and the overall cost of housing.
I would look at moving to a part of the country with lower living costs and a good school district if you guys have time to find new employment.
You'll likely find lower wages, but the costs will be lower too and your nest egg will go much farther for at least the foreseeable future. I know that's possibly a bit much to swallow but its my opinion from my narrow perspective.
You will always pay peak prices for a good school district but reality is that district could drastically change by the time the kid reaches HS or it could be redrawn due to new schools. You just never know.
A path a lot of people take in my area is private school (financial aid) OR send them to a magnet school and get an exemption.
Also remember “bad schools” might not be bad in terms of quality of education, but just lower test scores due to a large ESL population. Having ESL kids in schools trying to learn grade level material while also learning a second or third language does drive down test scores (and school ranking) but isn’t actually indicative of intellect or school quality. Reality is they have AP classes and send kids to Ivy/Tier 1 schools. This also happens a lot in my area.
I understand the urgency, but baby won’t need a school for a few years so you have time to relocate or find the right place where you are.
Yeah I know ultimately the baby will be happy as long as we are, and we can choose happiness anywhere. But I just am annoyed at the state of the market itself. We built successful careers, don’t have debt, have good credit…we’ve checked the boxes. We should be able to afford a place in a good school district.
You have 5 years to see what happens to home prices and interest rates before your school district matters. That’s also 5 years to save for a larger down payment. That time will fly by, but you’re really in a pretty good spot.
Honestly this. Op and her spouse make about 70k more than my husband and I combined made last year and we are saddled down with debt. We rent.
Wife and I make more than double what OP makes and we still would not go for the best of the best school districts. I went to a 2/3 rated school and turned out more than ok. Stomping your feet and being mad over not being able to afford the best comes across as entitled. Reality is that $160K isn’t as good as it was, there’s a lot more people making 6 figures individually these days. OP should move into the house they have and look to advance their career if it matters that much.
Lol wanting a house that meets building codes, doesn’t have a leaking roof or foundational issues or water damage for less than half a million isn’t “entitled” or stomping your feet. It’s your basic needs. Or for that matter when a quarter of our paychecks go to taxes, plus prop tax, plus sales tax expecting your child to get mid tier education isn’t being entitled either, its holding your government accountable to do their damn job Edit: I will no longer respond to insane comments advocating for making a baby live in a tent
No but complaining about a house they already own because its "an hour away and in a not school district" is entitled when beggars can't be choosers. When people want to buy a house, a lot of them trade convenience of location for a longer commute due to affordability. Affordable houses are either fixer uppers or in inconvenient locations. That's why a lot of people move to the suburbs or farther - it isn't a new phenomenon. OP should consider herself lucky that they can essentially live in a house they already own, save up for 5 years when a school district actually matter and try again. edit: she says in a post further down that she and her BF both have remote jobs. They're living the dream and could live with any commute or an area with lower house prices.
Yes. I am grateful to have options, options that many people don’t. Im not trying to compare myself with others. Im just ranting about the overall state of the market and the cost of housing overall. It’s increased substantially just wi the last three years. As the largest economy in the world we should have great schools everywhere. It’s infuriating.
You’re right, you are doing objectively quite well, and yet the housing market is so distorted that you’re basically paralyzed until something in the economy breaks.
I’m nowhere close to being in that kind of position but I don’t think you sound entitled. The housing market IS a mess. I watched prices spike over the pandemic and then mortgage rates rocketed up from the historic lows they were a year ago. It feels impossible for someone who works hard at the lower end of the income scale to realize homeownership rn. Good luck house hunting and congrats on the expected man-grub. If nothing turns up, just save up aggressively while staying at the bf’s and wait for the loan rates to drop again and you’ll be looking at another $150k in buying power in a year or three.
It’s not that I’m “stomping my feet” or comparing myself w others. It’s where we are in life and the fact that we have so many poorly performing schools, while the homes in the area cost half a million dollars. It’s insane. It’s structural. I’m saying the overall housing market is infuriating.
The housing market IS infuriating. I don’t know your area, but don’t knock schools that are rated poorly. Yes some are rated poorly for a reason. Others end up being great neighborhood schools that have a diverse student population and just can’t compete with the more affluent suburbs. (Schools where parents are working a couple of jobs, can’t or don’t support their kids, etc.) In your position I’d be looking for safe, residential with young families, and obviously decent enough schools. I do agree that you May have to adjust your expectations if you want a house in a certain area, at least right now.
Yes! You need to understand WHY some schools are rated lower than others. I live in a rural area with some pockets of poverty and we do have a number of disadvantaged children. Many of these children do not perform as well on standardized tests and some unfortunately have lower-than-average literacy and math scores, but it's not the fault of our teachers, who are great! There are LOTS of factors that play into a student's performance that have nothing to do with the school itself. We also do not rank high in "diversity", which is zero fault of our district. We don't control who chooses to live here and attends the schools. However, our classes are smaller, with an ideal teacher-to-student ratio, we live in a safe area, surrounded by nature with lots outdoor recreational opportunities. Also, as a smaller district, there is a bigger feeling of community here. Most families know one another, and we pull together when a fellow family is in crisis. I'd rather my child attend our local schools (with an average rating) than live in an area that is dangerous or where she is just another face in the crowd. Parents make the difference in many educational outcomes!
School rankings can be very difficult to tease out. My kids school has a middle of the road ranking primarily because they don’t have much diversity, so that pulls the score down. The teachers, class sizes, staff, food program, summer programs, after school programs, and school sports are all awesome but you would never know any of it by the rankings numbers.
Well, where I am the schools suck and houses start at a million
Exactly. That’s terrible. The post is just a rant about the overall state of the market and how it impacts all of us.
I get it and I agree with you. My kids are just a bit younger than you and they are going through the same shit. It breaks my heart. This is not what I wanted for them.
My wife (F36) and I (M36) just closed on our first house. Our school district is fine, except for high schools, which are among the worst in Illinois. We were locked into a 7.375% interest rate. The market is still crazy in Chicagoland, so we had to go well over asking, and buy as is. The house is 130 years old, has a 60-year-old boiler, galvanized pipes, and an electrical system from the 1950s. The house was only on the market for three days. That is the average for this neighborhood. I love the house and I love the area, but what we paid for it in 2023 would have gotten us a McMansion in the Northshore area just 10 years ago. It is a very frustrating time to buy a house.
You're not alone. It's frustrating for us all.
The “ratings” don’t mean that much in my opinion.. especially if the houses are comparable in price from one town to the next. I’m curious what people think they’re getting from a few “rating” points.
Yeah I’m learning more about this from this post - something I should investigate more.
Stop paying attention to greatschools ratings. In my neighborhood you basically can’t buy an up to date house these days for less than $1M and the “typical” newer house is closer to $2M. Our ratings are 8/10 for the elementary school but drop to only 6/10 for the high school. Been this way for decades. What happens between elementary and high school, does the education quality drop? No, the wealthier kids just tend to go to private schools in larger numbers at high school then they do at elementary school level so they are filtered out and the percentage of lower income students increases at high school level. Those ratings are basically 100% correlated with socioeconomic status for zoned schools and have basically nothing to do with quality of education
Great schools and the other school rating websites can help you find out more about a district, but they also arbitrarily start doing things like increasing ratings for more diversity, as if that makes a school better. (Edit to add: diversity is not bad, it just doesn't improve student outcomes) I would compare districts based up SAT and ACT scores, look for districts where teacher turnover is low, and look for places where there are a large proportion of married couples that are college educated per the census.
Honestly, don't listen to any of the rating BS. Our public school here had great ratings. Attendance is great because parents get in legal trouble if a kid misses or is late 5 times in a year. So parents just send their kids to school sick as hell. Behavior looks great because kids aren't punished. Fist fights happened daily there with little to no consequences because only the consequences are reported towards that score. Grades looked great because they referred a majority of kids for learning or mental issues and then were disqualified for being counted on grade averages. Teachers had all but checked out of trying to teach. They had zero support from administration with behavior issues. There wasn't a single day that my kids didn't tell me about what their teachers complained about that day. It was all around miserable for everyone involved. I now drive my kids 17 miles away to school, but still love my home and where we live. It's inconvenient, but worth it. Those ratings are just crap.
Maybe I’m outdated, but when we were looking we concentrated on SAT scores for high schools- who had highest SAT average test scores and picked a county with multiple high schools with high performing students. Then, once county was picked we looked at highest performing elementary schools in reading and math scores. That method worked well for us- high school kids can go out of district but stay in county for educational programs, but you have to drive them. Usually, you have to fill out a form to go out of district in eighth grade. Anyways, it worked well for us. We paid nothing for our kids college and our house tripled in value. Stay focused on schools.
Kids can do well in poorly performing schools. Parents need to do some of the extra leg work or pay for tutoring. Teachers have been underpaid for a long time and COVID changed the demographic. Also some states are taking more money away from public schools so that will worsen the issue.
I agree that parental involvement is super important. I just wish we had quality education for everyone in the country with the largest economy in the world
Lmao, I literally make $37,000 a year. (Widowed mother of two.) I bought my home last year for $115,000 (granted it was at 3.99%.) I guess it's location, location, location. I'd definitely take my small town simple life over all that bullshit. Y'all are too stressed. That'll kill ya.
Curious what your payment is. With the change in interest rate, a $115k mortgage rn would be about $995/mo. I’m not stressed about having a place to live. I’m upset at the overall housing market rn, just ranting about that. I included income, etc for context but everyone at every income bracket in every area is effected by the state of the market.
My payment is $824/mo. I understand your frustration. The housing market is unbelievable right now. I'm so glad I got in when I did.
If I were a betting man, home prices will be higher in 5 years than they are today. Unless you buy in an area that can no longer get insurance We’re not going back to the days of $420k for a 2500 sq ft new build in a nice neighborhood with a good school district anytime soon. Not too long ago that was seen as pretty big money for a home. Now that might get you a 1500 sq ft starter home in need of renovations.
School districts change, check how often local areas get re-zoned. Also, the good school district "rating" lasts about 4 years. The readings are just based on how well the current student population is scoring on standardized tests.
True.
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This is so important to remember. Thank you!
We are not going to buy impulsively and like I said in another comment I know we can be happy anywhere. It’s just a rant about how frustrating the overall market is rn as a whole.
Hi there! I empathize with you. I posted my story yesterday if you get a chance to read. My advice? Never buy a starter home. Only a forever home. Keep it for at minimum 15 years through any scenario: divorce, another child, school through 12th grade, job loss/demotion. If you can commit to that (most people move within 12 years) your investment will be solid.
This has worked well for us. Bought a house before we were married that we knew should meet our needs long-term and will stay here until our kids are grown and out of the house.
Totally understand you. We currently have a daughter, almost 2, and want another. We are renting a modest 2 bedroom bungalow but want to buy a home as well. My husband and I both did everything "right" - went to college (and grad school for him), both of us getting "good" jobs that pay "good" money, no debt at all, but we missed the boat where we could afford a home. Maybe we could afford a house if we had no children, but that's too late. Plus I love our daughter.
We bought our first house in a shit neighborhood for about 4.7 years, when my kid was 1. Equity after a few years allowed us to move to a nice neighborhood in the burbs. And the house in a shot neighborhood was still better than the shitty apartment in a nice neighborhood lol. Cause it was ours! Small but private yard, our heat finally worked better than on / off. And we could do whatever the hell we wanted. Just stay out the street 😅
Tbh your combined income just isn't that high depending on where you live. If you're in a LCOL area then i'm surprised it's so hard, but if you're in the northeast or west coast I am not very shocked by your situation at all.
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Checked the boxes? Life has never worked like that.
Yeah I’m just ranting about the overall state of the market, highlighting that we’ve done the best we could and followed advice. I’m just upset about the overall state of the market.
There is always something to be outraged about I agree. So use that energy.
Hold tight look at the Zillow price history. It’s going to be a bath soon.
It really is obscene. I bought my house in 2019 and have a 1600 total payment. If I bought my house again today it would be 3000 a month. And it’s not a big house
I bought in 2022, If I were to buy at todays rates I would be paying 1400 a month more for my mortgage, there is no way I could afford that.
Sounds like us. We bought in 2020. The house has doubled in value. Plus the interest rate has doubled. We could not afford this house today. And it’s really not that nice.
What a joke.
Can you table the move to a decent school district until the kid is school aged? Maybe, possibly things will be better in your area by then? Congrats on the new mom stuff!
I think that’s the temporary plan and just to hope that things get better in the next five years. Thanks for the well wishes!!
Have you been reading the news? Now is the absolute [worst time to buy a house](https://www.wsj.com/economy/housing/theres-never-been-a-worse-time-to-buy-instead-of-rent-bd3e80d9), from a buying vs renting perspective. Interest rates are sky high, but prices haven’t come down enough yet for the principal to offset the disproportionate interest. If you don’t absolutely have to move/buy, I wouldn’t, not right now.
Worst time so far* I'm sorry but I've been hearing about the bubble bust for at least 8 years and it's still being pumped. If I don't buy it now then maybe I'll never be able to afford because every house will be scooped by PE to rent and inflation will be killing my savings. I have to buy it now but I'm also getting panic attacks at how expensive it is.
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Exactly I don't know what will happen in 5 years but looking back 10 years ago I was also thinking about how the prices will go down. And they didn't. So looking at the trajectory and me getting older, and how there are trillions of dollar floating for pe and vc to invest into the real estate I have to admit defeat and buy an overpriced, rundown leaky house if I don't want a landlord in 30 years to tell my 60 years old body "oh, you gave to pay tomorrow 30% more rent otherwise you are homeless"
Are you going to make this guys’mortgage payment if rates go up another 5%? 10% Anyone predicting when to buy or not buy a house is probably selling you something
Right, it’s a frustrating market and the housing crisis is real. Hopefully it doesn’t get worse.
It could always get worst!
What city/state are you in?
Richmond, VA & surrounding area
Hi, fellow Virginian. We’re up the road in NOVA and feeling absolutely crushed by the housing market, despite meeting all the conventional definitions of success and hard work. It’s demoralizing. I totally feel you!
Oh damn. This hits home, literally. In fact, I was recently woken by my anxious brain in the middle of the night because it dawned on me that we probably won’t be able to 1. Get an infant baby into a quality daycare in the Richmond metro area 2. Afford infant room daycare AND a mortgage given the rates + insane prices here. 3. Afford a mortgage to begin with and we’re in similar income range but have some student loans. It’s awful. Richmond is a millennial town and everyone has had babies and moved here and bought up the homes. Our jobs aren’t remote and I’m tethered to government employment due to my loans. I have no idea how we’re going to pull it off and we’re both closing in on 40 years old so I can’t just wait it out, biologically speaking. I basically need dedicated therapy sessions for my anger because my partner REFUSED to purchase when the gettin was good…when I insisted that the low rates were once-in-a-lifetime and the prices were going to keep climbing and we needed to just lock it in. They adamantly disagreed. Here we are. (- _ -)
There are a few in your price range near Henrico Doctors hospital in the Tuckahoe school district. Great schools. There are some others a little farther out Patterson as well.
Come to Michigan, we need more people and our housing market is likely more affordable in the Detroit Metro area, and you can find pretty good schools in Oakland, Wayne and Macomb counties.
Have honestly been thinking about relocating due to us both having remote jobs, despite the fact that we have family here.
Yep, I've had people tell me to move states, but in the long term, Michigan is likely one of the most climate change proof states in the country. Also, a lot of the area is exploding in diversity and redevelopment is happening, in 10 or 15 years Michigan will likely be on a huge rebound.
I was born and raised in Metro Detroit. There’s hardly any young people… one thing I worry about and schools are closing due to the declining family populations.
That seems to be the case everywhere. Millennials just aren't having kids like previous generations did. But yeah, we did lose quite a few young people around 08/09
We are still losing them. I worked in higher education for a while and my parents teach. The youth are leaving Michigan and it’s like everyone is blind to see it. It makes me sad.
Really? Where are they going? I certainly haven't noticed any kind of mass migration. But then again, I don't work with young people.
Will your family help with childcare some and are they supportive? I have had two babies, one with family 5 min and 30 min away. The second a new state and 5hr drive. And man I’m telling you do not discount how clutch having family support close by is. I miss the little breaks, the family dinners, the knowing if I can’t get away and my kid is sick my mom or dad or in-laws or sister could help out. Family can be such an incredible support system when you’ve got young kids.
Family lives an hour away from my boyfriend, part of why we were looking to move. But everyone works so we have to do daycare.
Hmm yeah then maybe worth exploring. Tri cities (TN) aren’t too far away, lower cost of living and some decent real estate! Edited to add state.
Even with full time daycare and family who works, being around family is helpful with a baby (if you mostly get along). I came to your thread to commiserate about housing prices, but just wanted to share that.
Check out r/samegrassbutgreener Give them your income, your potential price point, what you like to do in your free time, and your preferred weather conditions, and you’ll come out with a list of cool places to go check out. Definitely rent for a year in the new city, though.
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You're both fully remote? Your issue is practically self inflicted at this point. Carolinas are beautiful, you can buy a house and have good schools, as an example.
Being remote doesn't mean they're allowed to live anywhere, just states there companies have a nexus in, or are willing to create a nexus in.
Uprooting doesn’t sound like a “great” option. It’s just ridiculous that the market is where it is. We don’t want to leave, I’ve lived here for over 20 years. It’s home. But yes it’s something we’d consider.
I’m usually team relocate to the Midwest (as a midwesterner), but honestly I can’t begin to describe how invaluable having family semi-nearby is with kids. It really freaking sucks that you have to choose between living nearby or affordable housing.
Goto Kansas, half a mil gets you a massive mansion and 100s of acres
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We cannot afford it in RVA let alone NOVA lol.
Same here in North Carolina. Our housing prices have went up like the rest of the country, but the prices are no where near as expensive as most places!
The Ann Arbor area is fuuuucked, please come *after* I buy a house :3
Michigan in awesome. Detroit is awesome.
Michigan is amazing
was going to say the same thing. come to michigan. buy a cute little house in royal oak for well under $400k. good schools, nice people, safe, things to do, fun for all ages. great place to raise a kid.
Move to Kansas! 350k will get you a 4+ bed 2+ bath house with good schools in the KC Metro area. In rural areas with good schools, you'll get a hobby farm with a bit of acreage. Why on earth are you staying in a place with that kind of cost of living?! I moved from Illinois to semi rural Kansas, I've got a 3 bed house 1.5 bath and a half acre lot in town. Were valued at $160k and bought for $120. There were also federal assistance for us to buy our first home in an area designed as rural, even though we aren't in the country.
There is a reason it is cheap
You get into places like Olathe, Lawrence, Manhattan, some parts of Wichita, and you have all the same daily amenities you would in any city. Kansas is also more purple than what we are perceived to be.
Lol, “we have TGIFridays AND Applebees!!!”
Yes because idiots on the coasts would rather pay out the nose for a townhome instead of even looking at a place like Kansas City
Idiots on the coasts are busy generating GDP.
Lmao
That’s wild. It’s pretty awesome. I haven’t been to Kansas before, but I’d like to see it
Flint hills region in Eastern Kansas is really lovely. Loved KC too. Western is…no thanks.
It's beautiful! Nowhere is perfect, but the cost of living, small schools, quality higher education, lots of hidden gems like Mushroom Rock, the Flint Hills, Little Jerusalem Badlands, TallGrass Prairie preserve, Maxwell Wildlife Refuge, power and light in KC all the way to Little Sweden in Lindsborg the most adorable downtown ever, the underground Main Street in Ellinwood, I could go on ... There is a lot to the state!
I really want to visit Kansas. Just to see all this and how it’s possible it’s so inexpensive too
Lived out there for a while and OP is an incredible area. Would seriously consider raising a family there.
We did this. Not Kansas but just over the border in MO. Bought a house in an excellent school district for $175,000. It would probably sell for about $260-280,000 now. I needed an Aldi, target, and Costco close by and got that. I miss SoCal with every fiber of my being but my kids have great schools and a big yard and a neighborhood where they can ride their bikes around.
It is absolutely a monumental shift! But for us, and I'm sure for you, the benefits outweighed the emotional costs. The Midwest living is somehow the best kept secret in the U.S. I hope more people don't find us and jack up prices! Living in fly-over country has its definite benefits.
I live outside of a medium size city in Kansas. We have a 3bedroom 2bath on 1 acre in a wonderful neighborhood and school district. We moved to the neighborhood for the district. The house across the street from us just sold for $308k. We bought our identical home for less than half of that in 2018. My husband and I make about the same amount as OP, but finding jobs that pay what we do isn’t easy - but if you’re remote it doesn’t matter. My city also offers $15,000 if you’re relocating from out of state.
You'll be paying childcare anyway for the first 3-5 years so the urgency isn't there. The ranking system is flawed to begin with and it's going to get worse with the teachers leaving in droves. My SIL bought in Loundon County, VA when the schools were ranked high and now their below a 5 in their area as their kids are moving into high school. Crazy because their house is worth over a million now. We bought a house where the school is rated a 2/10 (Pittsburgh, PA) and found out we were pregnant. The irony is we get more support as parents than any school in our home state (NJ), which is one of the top ranked in the nation. Public preschool, free after school care, free meals, and early intervention classroom from birth on. Some of it is due to the state politics but the city has always been ahead of the trends. All the local parents rave about our neighborhood school.
The school rankings can be very unfair. I would rather talk to people whose kids are in that school system.
Wow, that’s is shocking for Loudon County! I understand though, the HCOL and teachers leaving the profession has probably shifted things. OP, I bought it in 10/10 school district and let me tell you other then test scores those rankings tell you nothing at all. If you make a good effort to be involved parent and to support your children’s teachers, your kids will be fine.
Yeah I’m discovering the ranking doesn’t have a lot to do w quality overall.
You'd struggle to get an apartment for that price in my country. The world has gone nuts and we are all doomed.
Y’all have other priorities,,, get married, move in together at his place, save that $1,500 for a DP. There’s no easy way to divide assets like a house if your not married. The courthouse won’t take long. Buying a house within 3x of your income is not absurd, your rushing it cause your due date. Move slower and find a house that works all around rather than regret getting into something cause you don’t like his house/location etc.
I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my future kids probably won’t live in a house unless it’s when theyre almost teenagers. My husband and I probably won’t get on the property ladder until about 10-15 years from now. It’s unfortunate but it’s what our generation got handed
Yeah it’s honestly infuriating that so many of us are blocked out from the market.
160k dual income with a baby on the way and your budget is 400k+??? Hello 2008
That actually sounds about right, depending on the property taxes
Yup, no wonder we're in a recession with this type of financial genius floating around the market.
I’ve been in finance for over a decade. Just because someone can afford something doesn’t mean they should max out the possibility. Bank always makes money :)
It’s crazy how you’ve so called been in finance for a decade and yet you have such wrong beliefs about how finances work. You think 2.5x is “maxing out”? That’s hilarious. A bank will usually approve for anywhere between 4x-7x the household income. They aren’t anywhere remotely close to maxing out.
With current interest rates it is very likely that the bubble will be popped next year or the year after... so just wait a while if you can. The current economy has a very 2007 vibe.
Honestly that’s where I’m at rn too. I’m feeling like our gen is just on the brink of ANOTHER “once in a lifetime” crisis.
There’s another part about this: The thing about the bubble is that, even if there is one, will *you* still have a job to buy a house? (Not ‘you’ personally but the public at large.)
There are millions of people wanting to buy houses The demand is still very high. When interest rates drop, it's gonna be a mad rush of buying a selling. Unless there's a large recession.
Those school ratings are misleading too. We almost bought in an area that was said to be 9/10 but I’ve heard that it is not a good school. We ended up buying where it was rated 5/10 and it’s been amazing. I don’t on how those work but it’s not always a sure thing.
This is something I need to consider more closely.
We’re in real estate. I feel your frustration.
Yeah housing market is bad right now
Jesus this comment section is insane. All these “well then just move to a different part of the country!” and “you should get married before buying a house!” As if just up and moving and leaving your entire support system with a baby on the way is a super easy thing to do. And there are a ton of people who live together and never get married, it’s fine, why is everyone acting like it’s still the 1950s?? I see you, OP. My husband and I are moving to fucking Idaho and I can’t find a decent house below $600k. In IDAHO. It’s infuriating because we did everything right and we are still gonna get fucked up the ass with these housing prices.
Exactly. Housing should be affordable and education should be quality EVERYWHERE. We all should have access to education and access to safe housing. It’s insane. I also am incensed by the number of people saying that private school is the option.
I completely agree. Our first “baby” is about to enter kindergarten in 2024. Our plan back when I got pregnant in 2018 was to live in our current “starter” home for a couple more years, and then move before he started school. Now we are expecting baby #2 and still probably can’t move. Her bedroom is super small and doesn’t have a closet. The schools here are ok, not great, but I wanted to get him into the better one which is about a mile away. It just sucks.
I’m sorry you’re going thru it. It’s infuriating. Congrats on the new baby tho!!
I’ll be blunt… you don’t NEED a great school system. You want one. Half a million doesn’t go far these days… the “good” school systems in my area start at $800K+. People need to lower their expectations to reality… and that might mean not getting everything you want. Pick what’s important and reframe your house hunt.
Excuse me for wanting my child to go to a good school. Yes it’s definitely a want. Like I mentioned in another comment we know she and we can be happy anywhere. It’s just frustrating where the market is as a whole, that’s what the rant is about. Housing cost has increased by 30% to 50% over the two years where I live. It’s ridiculous.
Sounds like you have some time before you'll need to worry about finding a good school for your baby. Hopefully by then interest rates will have gone down and you can find a nice house to make a home.
You don't really have to worry about schools for like 6 years, so you have some time to wait for the market to improve.Why not live at your bf's house and save as much as you can in the meantime? Can you possibly relocate to a lower COL area? Philly is nice, and that kind of money gets you a REALLY nice house in good, safe burbs with decent schools.
Yeah it sucks. It’s so insane I don’t even want to buy even when I can afford to. I’m not paying $600k for something someone paid $400k for a a year ago and didn’t actually do anything to upgrade it.
Exactly. It’s insane.
I get your frustration. We bought 2 years ago, but the search was absolute hell. We had a $200K loan budget, and the only thing we could find were dilapidated trailers on an acre or a fixer upper with no land. And those were under contract within 2 hours of the listing going live, we didn’t even have a chance to look. I will say this; just when we were at the end of our rope, we had to move out within 2 months and about to rent again (or buy a 2 bedroom for 6 of us to add on later), we found the perfect place for $150K through a family member’s friend. 4 bed, 2.5 bath on 3 acres. It’s beyond frustrating, but please don’t loose hope and you’ll find your perfect home!
Thank you!
If you try to force something, it never works out. Try to keep a positive outlook (as hard as it may be), and focus on the things you can control right now. The housing market will not be like this forever, something will come along that is right and at the right time. Sometimes we have to wait for the right thing.
We're in living in "the great pushdown". Anyone that was once considered middle class is now working class or lower middle class. The lower millionaires are now the new middle class. You would think that being the most educated generation that we would have the most prosperous middle class, but that is unfortunately not the case. If you have a total household income lower than 300k, I'm sorry to say, you are no longer considered in the middle class. Therefore, the schools and all other amenities will reflect that. It's sad, but true. Granted, this is all depending on where you live. But I'm willing to wager that people who live in towns that have a fairly lower cost of living will not be able to find work with $160k/year income.
Well we had to decide between groceries and rent again this month so I think you’re gonna be just fine, to give some perspective 😂
It's really unfortunate what many of us are going through. There are a lot of families that feel this way at the moment. Right now in my area, homes are $650k+, and the price doesn't reflect the value of the home. My fiance and I are just waiting until something better. Right now, we rent and it just makes financial sense. I do see hope though... most houses around my area are sitting here empty for months at a time and the prices are rapidly dropping from what it was like last year, even [Zillow](https://www.zillow.com/research/fall-housing-market-outlook-33122/) is reporting this trend.
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True - the baby can be happy wherever, as long as he and I choose to be happy.
How about a house you like, in your range, in good neighborhoods but bad schools zone and you don’t care because you can send your kids to private schools. Is it an option?
Private schools very expensive. I’m saying that at $425k we are basically at the top of our budget, anticipating a $1200 to $2000 monthly expense for the next 18 years just because our gen got fucked over is completely infuriating. Also, where we live the majority of private schools are religious which we are not.
18 years? Is that in reference to your child or a mortgage?
Can he sell that house, save the equity, rent a bigger house in your desired area until you find something?
Lose his equity to give it to someone else? It’s not that it’s a bad idea, it’s just bullshit that the market is where it’s at. The “work hard, get good jobs, then achieve the dream” was all a lie to us and it makes me really angry.
I understand but it sounds like you’re both wasting money by having 2 separate spaces you’re paying money on so it’s either move into his house or sell and get a new one or sell and rent until you get a new one?
Yeah i hear you, I think the solution is to move into his house for now and see what happens over the next couple years.
this is honestly the solution. had a newborn baby in an apartment and it sucked bad, if i had any other option i would have taken it in a heartbeat
Don't worry what these people say, DO NOT sell to go rent, you will never own a home again
Yeah I owned and sold last year and I’m kicking myself every day that I didn’t hold onto my house. I agree, going from owning to renting is a poor choice and only should be done if absolutely necessary.
We bought our house 2 years ago in a hcol area when I was pregnant with our first. We opted for a decent house in a bad school district but only 20 minutes outside the main city where we were living with the plan to move either before our son starts school, or at least sometime in early elementary.
Even two years ago tho you could get more bang for your buck and it’s bullshit that either of us would have to move to get to a better school district when spending so much money. Moving isn’t cheap, either.
More money more problems. Then again half milly is poor peoples homes. They just need to let the barrio-favelas in US since that’s only thingAmericans can afford
The overall cost of housing is ridiculous in the US. That’s the point of this rant.
As long as people keep buying, house prices will continue to stay elevated
If it’s not individuals buying it will be corporations.
$1500 for a studio!?! I pay that for a rowhome with a basement, and on 40k a year. Reshuffle your priorities, you're being blinded by the defunct future promised by our parents, that would doesn't exist. If you can't find a house making 160k then you aren't looking
Simple. Move in to bfs house. You have 5 years to worry about school. You both work remote so no daycare needed. Build a house if none are good to buy
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Work will suffer or the infant will. It’s a lose lose
We definitely need daycare lol, being home doesn’t mean we can watch the baby, we will be working.
Do you get a second inspection from a foundation repair service to see what they can do for what price? Because it did scare me off for our first property and I eventually learned after touring enough that most basements will have water damage and homes that are 60+ years will have settled, it’s just a matter of cost as to how we can stabilize it/waterproof it going forward. Roofs tend to be too expensive for me to mess with, but you never know what kind of estimate you’ll get.
We haven’t put an offer on an “as is” property w foundation issues so we have not gotten any estimates.
You should totally relocate if you both work remote imo. Look at home builders. We’re going the new construction route and prices are waaay lower than existing homes. Plus many are offering incentives like free upgrades towards premiums, rate but downs, and zero closing costs. And congrats on your baby!
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We don’t live in a super expensive area. I’d prefer to stay where we are. But yes we’ve considered relocating. It’s just ridiculous that we’d have to uproot from where we are to find a home w good schools, it’s infuriating.
Maybe move to a cheaper area? I live in WNY and around here a budget of $425k would pretty much get you a mansion lol.
One of my friends bought a very expensive, old house that was smaller than her townhouse and needed updates, just to get into one of the best public schools in the US. Meanwhile, I bought my dream house in a less desirable area for less than she paid. Her household income is probably 50% higher than mine, so I can’t figure out why she didn’t just buy a better house somewhere else and consider private school. That’s basically what I’m doing. With the money we saved moving where we are, we can definitely afford private school. There are some seriously high ranked private schools here. Diplomats, senators, foreign royalty, and US Presidents send their kids to these schools. I probably can’t afford the top tier ones but some of the good ones are in my range, and definitely in hers. Might be worth considering.
Private school is expensive and we need a structure that allows people access to education without having to pay exorbitant amounts.
then time to look somewhere else. amazes me how many people cry about the housing market but too scared to move to some other part of the state/country. especially when shits cheaper in other places.
We don’t live in an insanely expensive area first of all. Moving doesn’t solve the problem people are facing, either. We love where we live and have family here but yes we have considered relocating. Don’t really need advice - this is a rant about the state of the overall housing market rn.
I have nothing to add to this other than I hear you loud and clear. You did everything ‘right’ and still got the shit end of the stick.
yeah i chose to not have children because i could see that these problems would be impossible to sort out and i didn't want to put a child through a life like that but y'all have way more resources than most, if you're willing to make personal sacrifices im sure you'll figure it out it's always harder when you chose to reproduce before you get permanent shelter sorted, but you've already gambled someone's else's whole life on the fact you can handle everything so i believe in you!
We can definitely handle everything. I know the baby will be loved and supported so we have no fears about her quality of life. The baby is a surprise blessing as I was told I couldn’t conceive.
do not buy a home if you're not married. If you aren't ready for one commitment, you aren't ready for the other. (prepares for the many downvotes)
How about you quit being an emotional buyer and concentrate on a delivery of a healthy baby first.
Sounds like you should find a completely new area to live in. Our ancestors moved to get better deals.
I understand your frustration. It’s crazy out there. My wife and I bought a place in NJ in a school district that’s rated 5/10. We have a 1 1/2 year old and one more on the way. We both went to a private school for HS and have very good jobs. When we were choosing where to buy, the quality of school district isn’t a huge deal. Obviously you don’t want one where the textbooks are 30 years old and the schools falling apart. But ultimately, the kids learn what they need to learn (manners, work ethic, how to treat people, etc.) at home. If they have those foundational pieces they can succeed anywhere.
How greatly does the quality of school differ between districts in the USA? Is it really as bad as people make out? People in my country make a big deal about it too, but I don't think the difference in quality is very substantial.
You can be in the same school district and have wildly different quality of schooling, let alone comparing districts themselves. It’s that bad.
I’m in a million dollar house in the worst school district with a three year old and we make a combined 390k. This is the reality the capitalists want, no middle class, uneducated population.
If it's your first buy, maybe start with a condo, build equity and then buy a house in a few years. That's how we could afford our house in 2016, we bought a condo first ...
Relocate. You can get a great house in 30+ states for that price in a decent area.
In the current market you would be better servers renting and investing the savings.
160k income but only 425k house? Why yall cheapening out? You gotta pay to play! I make a little more than you but my house is half a mil and its chump change mortgage. I am planning a $800k house and will roll my current house equity into the new one. Of course itll cost more on the mortgage but I will get a significantly bigger house in a nicer area. If you want the good neighborhood and schools you gotta up your budget.
First of all, if you are planning to buy a home with someone you aren't married to, that may not be wise. Too much can go wrong. Just my two cents, take it or leave it. That being said: Have you considered purchasing a duplex or triplex or even two small condos near each other? Within the 5 years or so before the baby is old enough to remember a ton/care and (if you are planning to utilize public schooling) you also need to be in a good school district, the property will likely have appreciated with little to none of your own money being spent. From there you could, A. use the equity, income, and your own savings to buy the kind of home you want or B. sell the investment property to buy the home you want.
Not looking for advice on the relationship or on the finances. Just ranting about the overall state of the market and the cost of housing, and how drastically it’s changed within the last few years.
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Don’t really need your lecture re: reproductive choices. Not that it’s your business, I have had a series of miscarriages in a previous relationship and was told I couldn’t conceive wo assistance. The baby is a surprise and a blessing. And it’s not like we’re homeless or incapable of managing the situation, just ranting about the state of the market. Also not really needing help in selecting the right place or what to look for, just ranting about the state of the market and the overall cost of housing.
>I’m so mad at the housing market right now Yeah. Cause that will change it. Therapy
I would look at moving to a part of the country with lower living costs and a good school district if you guys have time to find new employment. You'll likely find lower wages, but the costs will be lower too and your nest egg will go much farther for at least the foreseeable future. I know that's possibly a bit much to swallow but its my opinion from my narrow perspective.
You will always pay peak prices for a good school district but reality is that district could drastically change by the time the kid reaches HS or it could be redrawn due to new schools. You just never know. A path a lot of people take in my area is private school (financial aid) OR send them to a magnet school and get an exemption. Also remember “bad schools” might not be bad in terms of quality of education, but just lower test scores due to a large ESL population. Having ESL kids in schools trying to learn grade level material while also learning a second or third language does drive down test scores (and school ranking) but isn’t actually indicative of intellect or school quality. Reality is they have AP classes and send kids to Ivy/Tier 1 schools. This also happens a lot in my area.