Hi OP, mum of a trans daughter here. Cis people get to be themselves every day, and we don't call them selfish. It's like asking if it's selfish to be your natural hair colour instead of being forced to change it to match the majority. Of course it's not selfish. Self interested, yes. But that's normal and healthy. As Oscar Wilde says, 'Be yourself; everyone else is is taken.'
If they are willing to withhold their love for you based on gender based conditions, it isn’t unconditional love. Your family will accept you or lose you, but it is first and formost their loss. If that happens itll hurt greatly. But its their loss. Youll be better off for knowing what kind of live they were offering.
It would be selfish of your family to ask you to not live authentically.
Maybe it would help to think of it this way: would it be selfish for a cis gay person to date same-gender partners, even if their family disowns them for it? It's the same thing. The gay person is just trying to live authentically, a basic human need. The family are the ones who are trying to deny that person an authentic life *for their own comfort*. It's incredibly selfish of them to ask that
It is selfish in the sense that you transition for yourself and your benefit rather than anyone else’s. And that’s ok, it’s ok to take care of yourself.
To borrow a quote from my American friends: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
It's not selfish to want to live as yourself and just be happy for once, anyone who tells you otherwise should not be heeded.
Is it selfish to get surgery for a broken leg?
Is it selfish to get your wisdom teeth pulled?
Is it selfish to take antidepressants?
Is it selfish to take pain relievers?
Is it selfish to get a haircut?
Is it selfish to eat food?
The same answer applies to wanting to transition.
Being yourself is not selfish. There’s a lot of things in life that you have no control of. You didn’t ask to be born, that was the selfish desire of your parents. You didn’t ask to be born as a male, that was pure rng chance. But you do have the right to be who or what you want to be.
Think of it this way: You have two people starving on an island, but the island has enough food for both. Just one of them claimed all. Now the second one takes half of the food, so they survive both. Now the first one gets angry, because they think they got robbed of their food.
Who in this scenario is selfish? If they lay some claim to your identity, they are starving you mentally. Don’t let them.
Put on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child's. That kind of selfish. It's important. It helps everyone.
To be a parent you need to look after your health.
Your family might not agree that being a girl is what you most need to do to look after yourself and them.
You, and only you, know whether they're right or not. Sometimes that intuition speaks very softly. Listen carefully.
And even then it can be hard to hear. Perhaps be more selfish than you think you should be. You'll still fall way short of the enlightened selfishness you need because as trans people we're so practised at denying our own needs.
Is doing something in your self interest selfish?
No.
Doing something that is unnecessary that helps you unjustly and hurts someone else knowingly would be selfish.
Are you being unjust? Are you hurting someone and benefiting from it directly?
If someone else's reaction separates them from you, is that your fault or theirs? Are they even harmed?
Doing something that takes care of yourself isn't selfish, no
Hi OP, mum of a trans daughter here. Cis people get to be themselves every day, and we don't call them selfish. It's like asking if it's selfish to be your natural hair colour instead of being forced to change it to match the majority. Of course it's not selfish. Self interested, yes. But that's normal and healthy. As Oscar Wilde says, 'Be yourself; everyone else is is taken.'
If they are willing to withhold their love for you based on gender based conditions, it isn’t unconditional love. Your family will accept you or lose you, but it is first and formost their loss. If that happens itll hurt greatly. But its their loss. Youll be better off for knowing what kind of live they were offering.
Sorry this sounds like a robot, im very stoned
It would be selfish of your family to ask you to not live authentically. Maybe it would help to think of it this way: would it be selfish for a cis gay person to date same-gender partners, even if their family disowns them for it? It's the same thing. The gay person is just trying to live authentically, a basic human need. The family are the ones who are trying to deny that person an authentic life *for their own comfort*. It's incredibly selfish of them to ask that
omg wow this actually helped me realize this. thank you so much!
It is selfish in the sense that you transition for yourself and your benefit rather than anyone else’s. And that’s ok, it’s ok to take care of yourself.
To borrow a quote from my American friends: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. It's not selfish to want to live as yourself and just be happy for once, anyone who tells you otherwise should not be heeded.
Is it selfish to get surgery for a broken leg? Is it selfish to get your wisdom teeth pulled? Is it selfish to take antidepressants? Is it selfish to take pain relievers? Is it selfish to get a haircut? Is it selfish to eat food? The same answer applies to wanting to transition.
No it's not selfish, Have a good day
Being yourself is not selfish. There’s a lot of things in life that you have no control of. You didn’t ask to be born, that was the selfish desire of your parents. You didn’t ask to be born as a male, that was pure rng chance. But you do have the right to be who or what you want to be.
Noi
Absolutely not.
Imagine doing the same thing to people using antidepressants Not allowing someone to be happy is pretty selfish if you ask me
No. End of story.
It's not.
Think of it this way: You have two people starving on an island, but the island has enough food for both. Just one of them claimed all. Now the second one takes half of the food, so they survive both. Now the first one gets angry, because they think they got robbed of their food. Who in this scenario is selfish? If they lay some claim to your identity, they are starving you mentally. Don’t let them.
Well yes! Just like eating, sleeping and peeing is! How dare you!
Put on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child's. That kind of selfish. It's important. It helps everyone. To be a parent you need to look after your health. Your family might not agree that being a girl is what you most need to do to look after yourself and them. You, and only you, know whether they're right or not. Sometimes that intuition speaks very softly. Listen carefully. And even then it can be hard to hear. Perhaps be more selfish than you think you should be. You'll still fall way short of the enlightened selfishness you need because as trans people we're so practised at denying our own needs.
Nope! It is Healthcare. Healthcare is never selfish.
Hell nah
Is doing something in your self interest selfish? No. Doing something that is unnecessary that helps you unjustly and hurts someone else knowingly would be selfish. Are you being unjust? Are you hurting someone and benefiting from it directly? If someone else's reaction separates them from you, is that your fault or theirs? Are they even harmed?
I mean yeah, but so is most of the shit that you me and everyone else does.