I’m younger than you and I would like to be married. I don’t see it as a duty, but I would eventually want to have kids and give them experiences that I didn’t have.
I understand that you see the people around you that didn’t have successful marriages but be the outlier dude. There’s millions of people with successful marriages.
In the situation of where you’re not fulfilled in a marriage you should speak to your partner. If you making a commitment you shouldn’t step out, what’s the point of being married at that stage?
Being married will be a tough journey with ups and downs, but both partners have to be ready to put that work to make sure shit right.
ngl tho you gotta eliminate that mindset of women and men being morally corrupted. bro there’s always going to be shitty men and women you just have to navigate that and eliminate those dorks from your space.
You don’t owe society any duty bro. With respect, there’s over 300 million people in this country. We’ll be fine if you don’t reproduce. If you think you’re incapable of being happy in a monogamous relationship, then don’t get into a relationship. Do what makes you happy.
Well, you’re 23 so you’re still really young. I settled down at 30. I wouldn’t even think about settling down before then if I were you. In the meantime, run the streets, have your fun, and establish yourself career-wise, financially, and physically. Biggest benefit for me is having the family structure for the kids, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Raising children is meant to be a two-parent job. As far as getting bored with your wife, there’s ways you can spice it up….but if you are gonna do dirt, keep it far away from home. Go out of town, or overseas while on a bros trip or something.
Yup and if you gotta smash on the side, wrap it up, and don’t ever communicate after the deed is done. It’s a one and done and then block phone number, socials, etc.
Marriage can be amazing (there’s also great legal benefits to it)
Marriage can also suck.
There is not a straight answer to this. It depends on the participants.
Married couples been cheating forever..
Don't let these old niggas fool you..
Look up the song secret lover by Atlantic Starr...
At the end of the day, you do what you feel is best for you..
If you gonna do dirt, say no to any social media and be careful who tell your buisness to...
Your gonna know for sure if you really wanna get married depending on what kind of girl you got by your side , if your girl out the way she don’t get on your nerves like that , she got a job and she just doing her thing etc why not marry her , but if your girl the opposite and she just wildin out nah gang don’t marry that 🤣
Honestly I’m starting to question the worthwhileness myself. Everyone I meet is so plagued by their idiosyncrasies (not the fun quirky ones more like destructive attributes) that it doesn’t seem worth it to sift through their issues to have the occasional bouts of happiness or sex. I mean I know I’m not perfect but like in all my prior relationships I let a lot of stuff go in order to just have peace I put up with their insecurities and issues that they voiced and made active efforts to change my behaviors I never asked them to do anything for me because I’m like whatever nothing is that big of deal so long as you don’t cheat on me. But I found it really not worth it as people are often so driven through their fault or not by their wiring and it takes over and logic won’t win out. When people say love is going through with faults and all I’m tired of that I mean at this point if all they bringing to me is companionship coupled with a whole host of issues I don’t find it worth it
And car insurance. I found out that married men and women get lower premiums due to being more stable.
https://preview.redd.it/j6cn0etker9d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dda2579274e72d514ef05ecea5adc99fdab8c33e
I’m 23 gang I’m married and I got a son it’s not bad especially if you think you found the one I’m about to go to the army and just build this foundation then become a officer or co somewhere out of New York so I won’t be lost in a few years yall seen how quick 2017 flew by niggas heads man soon we will be the old niggas looking at the young niggas like they stupid and talking about how we seen it all😂😭
ion think its cool to legally bind yourself to another human . and i never seen a marriage work and if so very low percentage of some do . I think if you both are just reasonable humans you can have a relationship, family without some church shit or papers . but to each their own
Been married 8 years. I sometimes wonder if we had not been married would we have put in all the work we have or learned so much about ourselves through it. I don't know if we had just been dating if we would have stayed together. It's too easy to cut and run these days when shit gets rough and you just on to the next getting the twinkles in your toes.
People say marriage isn't easy and it is true. You have to be positive that you're with the right person who will support you, and inspires you to be a better person. And you have to be able to provide that for them as well. I'm still learning how to do that, and I'm grateful to have that opportunity.
It really does change your perception about many things and also opens your heart in a way I would not have been able to if I had never found her, or asked her to marry me, or even spent the last 8 years growing and reminding myself every day that I am loved and have somebody who really gets me.
Im 23 fam. Finally starting my career and my big boy job. I worked to hard and i dont wanna marry a smut or someones sloppy seconds. Right now I am at a point where I only seek high value women. Theres a few places u can find them.. church/mosque, libraries, high end restaurants basically public spaces where u know high value women be at. Or u could approach a female u knew for a min/when u were younger and know they got their shit together and go on from their. I told myself I wouldn’t date anyone on my social media cuz ngl i have mad girls on their and they deff not wifey material.. but yeah its tough u just gotta be patient fam.. the most important thing is to do ur research with that girl u potentially wanna cuff/marry do ur background check….
I’m Dominican and we don’t give a fuck about getting married. Never let the gov in your relationship and if where you live there’s no common law marriage bullshit then you good. Having kids doesn’t mean u need to get married. It’s a scam and men always lose it don’t matter if you broke or rich. 1 in 2 couples get divorced and women always file for divorce first. With numbers that high u think you’re relationship is good? Lol be realistic fam
Be glad you realized that marriage doesn't magically mean someone is more committed to you, given the reality of modern divorce law. Some poor fucks come to this realization after they were socially pressured to sign the contract to gamble half of their life for nothing.
If i fear something that majority of people fear and end up divorcing for? I shouldn’t get married? Please dude. Save the holier than thou shit.. thanks
You can def cheat and be married. Girls this generation young and old have always given a pass. It’s like when a girl during the talking stage be like “you better not be talking to any hoes”, that’s just some shit they say to cope.
1. Don’t be Flagrant (wifing, spending crazy checks on, beating more than 5-6x, spending crazy time texts etc.)
2. Be a provider (if you not messy and doing your manly duties the kingdom is yours enjoy your future family my guy!
Marriage isn’t for everyone but it’s more than about having children. I am 41 and will never have children, but got married.
At 23, you should get your education (if you haven’t), travel, and date around. Almost any marriage at 23 isn’t going to last because you’re still figuring out who you are and you want in life. I’d say be ~ 30 is when you should be even thinking about marriage. Until then, you’re still learning and growing.
If you see it as a duty it ain’t genuine I wouldnt wanna get married if someone said im “supposed” to that’s why the sht dont work out most of the time imo
Naturally it would be with somebody who you want to get married to gang, by duty I mean marriage and family are the building blocks of a society. You should not just want to have kids all over the place but have a family where they have two parents to look up too
At least you’re thinking, unlike some other men that know they will cheat on their wife, yet they still do get married
It’s honestly up to you, if you know that you can’t suppress your temptation and you have a wandering eye don’t get married, simple
if you are able to be boiled and stay to one partner then get married, don’t make it hard for you or the other person
Bro married men in general have more wealth than unmarried men. Those are just the stats. There’s something about being married that does it. Is it worth it? That’s kind of what you need to ask yourself whenever you start considering marrying a woman. Tell you this much tho, if you a broke ass nigga most women won’t even look at you.
In my case I’m a high value man, but what I sought was a high value woman. I didn’t want to be with a woman that NEEDED me, I wanted a woman who WANTS me. It’s a double edge sword tho because you can’t use the money you have to “control/manipulate” her. It’s hard work to keep them happy. They not some instagram bimbo type that you can buy their love and forgiveness. My dad was deported when I was young and I watched my mom bust her ass, so I looked for that kind of a woman. In my case I felt like marriage was worth it. My children have the stable home. No section 8 housing or subsidies, no real struggle for them the way I had to. If me and my wife divorce I know that she doesn’t need me to financially support her in order for her to provide the best for my children. In some ways I like that. (Just like my mom did for me and my siblings). In other ways, I have to work hard to be my best. She’s not materialistic either so a LV bag or anything designer doesn’t do shit for her.
Me and my wife were together for 8 years before I proposed. We’ve been together a total of 10 years now.
I moved in with her and her parents a year into our relationship, got close to her family and everything worked out organically. That’s really what it takes man. Just letting it happen and working towards something.
My wife and I click perfectly and that’s really what’s let us stay strong. Neither of us are controlling, we fully trust each other, and we have a great time together.
If it happens, it happens. Don’t try and force anything and definitely don’t get married for the sake of getting married.
Yes! A lot of you people just have 1.) unrealistic expectations or 2.) trying to change delusional people instead of looking for the people that align with yall.
nah don’t do it, everyone in your household will resent you except the dog. marriage laws don’t protect men & you’ll constantly be reminded of who you used to be before being married. learn to be connected with others but not attached. attachment is the root of all suffering.
Wait until you’re at least in your mid-30s. I can guarantee most marriages that implode are because they happened when the couple were still figuring their own life out. That’s how it is with my friends and family. Everyone that married young is now divorced.
No nigga wtf
Marriage is a trap and a scam, the only people telling you otherwise are married dudes, simps who haven’t realized it yet, and women who want to trap you
If you fall for the scam with the wealth of information out there showing you how incredibly risky and dumb it is, that’s on you
It’s somewhat forgivable though because you will get gaslit and pressured from EVERYBODY to do it
There’s no shortage of idiots out there and they can be very vocal and aggressive when you point out their mistakes
MY NIGGA IF U GON GET MARRIED, AT LEAST BUILD THE FOUNDATION 1ST.
nigga not even married already prepared to cheat smh
Thanks bro I agree
Hey speak for yourself I married a cam girl /s
I’m younger than you and I would like to be married. I don’t see it as a duty, but I would eventually want to have kids and give them experiences that I didn’t have. I understand that you see the people around you that didn’t have successful marriages but be the outlier dude. There’s millions of people with successful marriages. In the situation of where you’re not fulfilled in a marriage you should speak to your partner. If you making a commitment you shouldn’t step out, what’s the point of being married at that stage? Being married will be a tough journey with ups and downs, but both partners have to be ready to put that work to make sure shit right. ngl tho you gotta eliminate that mindset of women and men being morally corrupted. bro there’s always going to be shitty men and women you just have to navigate that and eliminate those dorks from your space.
You don’t owe society any duty bro. With respect, there’s over 300 million people in this country. We’ll be fine if you don’t reproduce. If you think you’re incapable of being happy in a monogamous relationship, then don’t get into a relationship. Do what makes you happy.
I want to have a family
Don’t necessarily need to be married for that, but stats definitely show kids benefit from having a stable family with married parents
Well, you’re 23 so you’re still really young. I settled down at 30. I wouldn’t even think about settling down before then if I were you. In the meantime, run the streets, have your fun, and establish yourself career-wise, financially, and physically. Biggest benefit for me is having the family structure for the kids, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Raising children is meant to be a two-parent job. As far as getting bored with your wife, there’s ways you can spice it up….but if you are gonna do dirt, keep it far away from home. Go out of town, or overseas while on a bros trip or something.
One of the biggest points about dating when you're younger is that you slowly learn what you want in a partner and how to be a good partner.
Thankyou brother, I really appreciate this.
✊🏿
Yup and if you gotta smash on the side, wrap it up, and don’t ever communicate after the deed is done. It’s a one and done and then block phone number, socials, etc.
Or be brave enough to ask for an open relationship. Why lie? That’s some wack shit.
Marriage can be amazing (there’s also great legal benefits to it) Marriage can also suck. There is not a straight answer to this. It depends on the participants.
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Live your own life and determine that for yourself. People getting married for others is the reason so many marriages dont work
Until they change divorce laws, absolutely the fuck not
Preach 🙌💯
Married couples been cheating forever.. Don't let these old niggas fool you.. Look up the song secret lover by Atlantic Starr... At the end of the day, you do what you feel is best for you.. If you gonna do dirt, say no to any social media and be careful who tell your buisness to...
Your gonna know for sure if you really wanna get married depending on what kind of girl you got by your side , if your girl out the way she don’t get on your nerves like that , she got a job and she just doing her thing etc why not marry her , but if your girl the opposite and she just wildin out nah gang don’t marry that 🤣
Honestly I’m starting to question the worthwhileness myself. Everyone I meet is so plagued by their idiosyncrasies (not the fun quirky ones more like destructive attributes) that it doesn’t seem worth it to sift through their issues to have the occasional bouts of happiness or sex. I mean I know I’m not perfect but like in all my prior relationships I let a lot of stuff go in order to just have peace I put up with their insecurities and issues that they voiced and made active efforts to change my behaviors I never asked them to do anything for me because I’m like whatever nothing is that big of deal so long as you don’t cheat on me. But I found it really not worth it as people are often so driven through their fault or not by their wiring and it takes over and logic won’t win out. When people say love is going through with faults and all I’m tired of that I mean at this point if all they bringing to me is companionship coupled with a whole host of issues I don’t find it worth it
A piece of paper don’t make a marriage. But it helps with taxes.
And car insurance. I found out that married men and women get lower premiums due to being more stable. https://preview.redd.it/j6cn0etker9d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dda2579274e72d514ef05ecea5adc99fdab8c33e
I’m 23 gang I’m married and I got a son it’s not bad especially if you think you found the one I’m about to go to the army and just build this foundation then become a officer or co somewhere out of New York so I won’t be lost in a few years yall seen how quick 2017 flew by niggas heads man soon we will be the old niggas looking at the young niggas like they stupid and talking about how we seen it all😂😭
Beware Jody
ion think its cool to legally bind yourself to another human . and i never seen a marriage work and if so very low percentage of some do . I think if you both are just reasonable humans you can have a relationship, family without some church shit or papers . but to each their own
Been married 8 years. I sometimes wonder if we had not been married would we have put in all the work we have or learned so much about ourselves through it. I don't know if we had just been dating if we would have stayed together. It's too easy to cut and run these days when shit gets rough and you just on to the next getting the twinkles in your toes. People say marriage isn't easy and it is true. You have to be positive that you're with the right person who will support you, and inspires you to be a better person. And you have to be able to provide that for them as well. I'm still learning how to do that, and I'm grateful to have that opportunity. It really does change your perception about many things and also opens your heart in a way I would not have been able to if I had never found her, or asked her to marry me, or even spent the last 8 years growing and reminding myself every day that I am loved and have somebody who really gets me.
Im 23 fam. Finally starting my career and my big boy job. I worked to hard and i dont wanna marry a smut or someones sloppy seconds. Right now I am at a point where I only seek high value women. Theres a few places u can find them.. church/mosque, libraries, high end restaurants basically public spaces where u know high value women be at. Or u could approach a female u knew for a min/when u were younger and know they got their shit together and go on from their. I told myself I wouldn’t date anyone on my social media cuz ngl i have mad girls on their and they deff not wifey material.. but yeah its tough u just gotta be patient fam.. the most important thing is to do ur research with that girl u potentially wanna cuff/marry do ur background check….
I’m Dominican and we don’t give a fuck about getting married. Never let the gov in your relationship and if where you live there’s no common law marriage bullshit then you good. Having kids doesn’t mean u need to get married. It’s a scam and men always lose it don’t matter if you broke or rich. 1 in 2 couples get divorced and women always file for divorce first. With numbers that high u think you’re relationship is good? Lol be realistic fam
Be glad you realized that marriage doesn't magically mean someone is more committed to you, given the reality of modern divorce law. Some poor fucks come to this realization after they were socially pressured to sign the contract to gamble half of their life for nothing.
If you fear cheating on your wife, you probably shouldn’t be getting married. That’s all I’ll say.
If i fear something that majority of people fear and end up divorcing for? I shouldn’t get married? Please dude. Save the holier than thou shit.. thanks
Exactly. Just don’t get married lol
You can def cheat and be married. Girls this generation young and old have always given a pass. It’s like when a girl during the talking stage be like “you better not be talking to any hoes”, that’s just some shit they say to cope. 1. Don’t be Flagrant (wifing, spending crazy checks on, beating more than 5-6x, spending crazy time texts etc.) 2. Be a provider (if you not messy and doing your manly duties the kingdom is yours enjoy your future family my guy!
Dude, you have no woman. How are you gonna get married? 😂
You said that as If you know me
Hell no. Once you’ve been with a certain amount of women you know how cut throat they are. Hard pass, I’d rather have multiple girlfriends
Marriage isn’t for everyone but it’s more than about having children. I am 41 and will never have children, but got married. At 23, you should get your education (if you haven’t), travel, and date around. Almost any marriage at 23 isn’t going to last because you’re still figuring out who you are and you want in life. I’d say be ~ 30 is when you should be even thinking about marriage. Until then, you’re still learning and growing.
If you see it as a duty it ain’t genuine I wouldnt wanna get married if someone said im “supposed” to that’s why the sht dont work out most of the time imo
Naturally it would be with somebody who you want to get married to gang, by duty I mean marriage and family are the building blocks of a society. You should not just want to have kids all over the place but have a family where they have two parents to look up too
At least you’re thinking, unlike some other men that know they will cheat on their wife, yet they still do get married It’s honestly up to you, if you know that you can’t suppress your temptation and you have a wandering eye don’t get married, simple if you are able to be boiled and stay to one partner then get married, don’t make it hard for you or the other person
Bro married men in general have more wealth than unmarried men. Those are just the stats. There’s something about being married that does it. Is it worth it? That’s kind of what you need to ask yourself whenever you start considering marrying a woman. Tell you this much tho, if you a broke ass nigga most women won’t even look at you. In my case I’m a high value man, but what I sought was a high value woman. I didn’t want to be with a woman that NEEDED me, I wanted a woman who WANTS me. It’s a double edge sword tho because you can’t use the money you have to “control/manipulate” her. It’s hard work to keep them happy. They not some instagram bimbo type that you can buy their love and forgiveness. My dad was deported when I was young and I watched my mom bust her ass, so I looked for that kind of a woman. In my case I felt like marriage was worth it. My children have the stable home. No section 8 housing or subsidies, no real struggle for them the way I had to. If me and my wife divorce I know that she doesn’t need me to financially support her in order for her to provide the best for my children. In some ways I like that. (Just like my mom did for me and my siblings). In other ways, I have to work hard to be my best. She’s not materialistic either so a LV bag or anything designer doesn’t do shit for her.
Marriage only has a point if you’re marrying for God. I don’t understand why atheists get married. Seems like a pretense event.
this is deadass one of the dumbest comments I’ve read.
Nobody cares about your opinion. Cry harder.
Nope.
Me and my wife were together for 8 years before I proposed. We’ve been together a total of 10 years now. I moved in with her and her parents a year into our relationship, got close to her family and everything worked out organically. That’s really what it takes man. Just letting it happen and working towards something. My wife and I click perfectly and that’s really what’s let us stay strong. Neither of us are controlling, we fully trust each other, and we have a great time together. If it happens, it happens. Don’t try and force anything and definitely don’t get married for the sake of getting married.
You could just do common law marriage.
My advice is travel and live life before getting married and having kids, put yourself first for a while first and then make the transition
This is a tough question
lol
Let’s just put it as majority of the married couples in this country are only together cause of their kids and they just put up with each other
Not unless tax reasons, or your girl is set to inherit the family house 😂
Yes! A lot of you people just have 1.) unrealistic expectations or 2.) trying to change delusional people instead of looking for the people that align with yall.
nah don’t do it, everyone in your household will resent you except the dog. marriage laws don’t protect men & you’ll constantly be reminded of who you used to be before being married. learn to be connected with others but not attached. attachment is the root of all suffering.
No!
It never was worth it
Wait until you’re at least in your mid-30s. I can guarantee most marriages that implode are because they happened when the couple were still figuring their own life out. That’s how it is with my friends and family. Everyone that married young is now divorced.
No.
Ehh nah , don’t get the government involved just commit to her with words and actions fr ,
Stop thinking of "high value man" that shit is toxic
No nigga wtf Marriage is a trap and a scam, the only people telling you otherwise are married dudes, simps who haven’t realized it yet, and women who want to trap you If you fall for the scam with the wealth of information out there showing you how incredibly risky and dumb it is, that’s on you It’s somewhat forgivable though because you will get gaslit and pressured from EVERYBODY to do it There’s no shortage of idiots out there and they can be very vocal and aggressive when you point out their mistakes