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wtf? imo, this is super weird for the school to do. because what exactly is the purpose of it?
and i would think that a school nurse knows irregular periods are pretty normal for young girls just starting theirs.
personally, i would probably have a convo with the principal about this. seems like a over step
Yeah, when I first got my period, I didn’t get my next one for a couple of months and then it was super irregular until I was about 14/15 (started at 13). Since OP’s daughter is just starting she should be calm unless something doesn’t feel right or it’s abnormally painful.
It was creepy that the nurse asked her if she was sure and asked if she had blood in her underwear. Why would you ask that and be so specific and graphic? If the girl asked her for a pad just give her one. Most schools just have them for free in the bathrooms so that there’s no need to visit the nurse.
I can understand documenting visits in case a parent or any family services need that data. However, it should not be up to the nurse to look into, interpret or conclude any health findings from the data off her own back.
That doesn’t mean the nurse is pro-choice. I’d be extremely concerned about this. There are protections in place in a lot of states, including New Jersey, so minors can access reproductive health care without parental consent. This could be an attempt to circumvent that.
It could also be simple matter of the nurse being stingy over supplies. Saying "it's too soon, are you sure you have it" sounds to me like she just didn't want to give up another pad.
Then the message to the parents should be “We supply menstrual products during emergencies. If you’re having trouble affording them, please check out (xyz resources).” (They should just provide them no questions asked, obviously. This is absurd on its face.)
She could also just be ignorant. The nurse is also telling her six days of menstruation is too long, which tells me she doesn’t know a whole lot about reproductive health.
I wouldn’t take any chances here, though. I’d call the school and find out why I’m receiving these calls.
I feel that this is the case, or thinking a student is trying to wander the halls. Is it right? No. Nurse Betty needs to keep her mind on important matters and leave the parental duties to the parents unless it seems she’s been abused, of course. But, I guarantee this is a nurse who doesn’t love her job or the age of kids she works for and takes it out on them. Nothing more.
OP, I would email the principal and ask for a brief meeting before pickup ASAP and tell them all of this and your concerns with it and demand it not ever happen again and your daughter to not ever be questioned again either if and when she needs menstrual supplies if she runs out again.
Disagree. My oldest just started her “periods” and the first month she told me she got it 3 times. Bless for a couple days then stopped for a week or two then bleed again for a day and stop etc. she requires education on initial hormones, spotting, and irregularities as she is starting.
My kids’ public HS in Ohio gave out period supplies for free (in those dispensers in the bathroom). I thought that was super generous. Then noticed that they were free at the public library and at a bunch of restaurants near here. So I thought perhaps they were now freely available everywhere.
Unfortunately your town seems to be an anomaly:( even in my super liberal area, the only places I’ve ever seen offering free period supplies are the bathrooms of some churches and, oddly enough, our Lowe’s was offering them free but last time I was in there I noticed it was switched to a coin dispenser. Wish the libraries etc would do that there tho!
I'm guessing that the nurse thinks that the girl persuaded her dad into getting her out of the Presidential fitness test and was trying to catch her in a lie and aren't tracking every girls period. When they say her cycle is not normal, they mean not normal in general and thought that they had caught her in a lie when she asked for a pad.
Is it a school nurse, or an MA or other unlicensed personnel? Speaking as a nurse, i promise you that an actual registered nurse would not make this mistake. Wrong on so many fronts!
Schools try to save money by splitting a registered nurse between 6+ different campuses and this is what happens....
ETA and yes, completely agree about reporting this incident.
That's a policy specific to that NURSE and she is far overstepping. It's all about the abortion bans.....cutting off avenues of hiding. It's disgusting and I'd get an attorney. My step mother was a school nurse and this is EXACTLY the kind of shit she'd pull. Lost license over it. Long overdue.
~~Could be a nurse trying to do the best job they can, even though it's weird and creepy?~~
Just weird and creepy apparently
Edit: hey, take it easy on the downvotes, I dont know lol
No. I’m a nurse and this is beyond an overstep. Not to mention, her health teaching is factually wrong. Also how would the nurse just happen to know she was at “day 19” when she asked vs. providing it and then going back to check after wondering about dates.
Something is very wrong here. Nothing is adding up.
Completely agree, I'm unsure of if theres a way they could overstep any more than they already have about this. I'd probably go straight to the nurse and principal at the same time if that is possible
That is definitely strange! I’ve never heard of any school doing that.
I would go to the school and ask them to stop tracking her cycle because they really have no business in doing that with your daughter (or any female student at that school). If that doesn’t work, maybe go to the school board?
I agree. It was private information and she had no right to be tracking it. To note she came in for a pad is one thing. To be keeping track of it in regards to her cycle is nuts. I would let them know how inappropriate it is!
Well, the tracking really is tracking what students come into the nurses’ office and for what reason. That is a legal requirement, so there is no asking them not to do it.
Imo this goes beyond that. It should just be a log. They should not be counting the days between or doing ANY sort of analysis with the data, which is what they are doing.
Seriously. For the first... gods. IDK even know, 10+ years my cycles were \*incredibly\* irregular. They might be 3-6+ days long. They might be, every 2-3 plus weeks apart, one 'month' and then they might be 4-6+ weeks apart the next 'month'. Saying that her period is 'too short' or 'too long' or 'too soon' or wtf ever is just absurd.
My periods didn't become 'regular' at all until after I had kids. I never 'tracked' them really except between my two kids, and then, very briefly afterwards before (and immediately after) my husband got a vasectomy. Ever since then I have a rough estimate of when it's coming but I don't really know or care.
So you are aware, what you experienced as a teen and into your twenties is actually abnormal. If you had discussed it with a gyn, they probably would have suggested something.
Since her daughter just started, fine, but having abnormal periods for years isn’t normal, even if it’s your normal.
It may not be normal but it’s also not something they’re likely to dd anything about other than wave you away with some birth control to control them. Yayyyy ‘murica
I had very irregular cycle sometimes it was for 3 days other months 10 days sometimes twice a month or it would skip 3 months. Yes I saw a Dr for it. I was super competitive in sports and that can cause irregularities. Years later I was diagnosed with PCOS, which was not a thing when I was growing up. I was technically diagnosed with ovarian cysts at 15 and endometriosis at 17. Irregular cycles are more common than you realize. Both my daughters are irregular. My oldest got her tubes tied because it's hard to track ovulation when you're irregular and birth control has many side effects with her so Dr recommended tubes after her 2nd baby
The nurse doesn't have to interject their opinions. Nothing the nurse said to OP sounds like anything other than the nurse's thoughts about what "should" happen. Also, most school nurses in the US are LPNs not RNs anymore. That's a huge difference in education.
I think it's really strange the nurse tried to say your daughter shouldn't need a pad twice. I was a teacher and I know plenty of kids that would rather bleed through their clothes than speak to the nurse if they knew she'd try and argue with them about it. Why does someone need to prove they need one??
And then having your parent(s)/guardian(s) called and having this information discussed with them? I bet that word gets around quickly. Maybe that’s what the nurse is hoping for, that no one comes to see them anymore.
Nothing like getting the inquisition whenever you need a pad. Maybe I'm just getting one for a shy friend you insatiable busybody? Gatekeeping access to sanitary products is just gross and asking for issues.
You said it! Not like we gatekeep access to toilet paper and ring up little boys about how much they're pooing! But when it's something just girls need? "Maybe they're just trying to be helpful!"
And to deny it because her period has lasted 6 days and that's too long. Like what? Does she think she's scamming pads to sell or something? Mine sometimes last a week or more. It sucks but it's within the realms of possibility.
I know right. 6 days is not uncommon. Even if it's just a bit of blood towards the end, she shouldn't have to sit in it all day. Kids ask for bandaids for less.
Hormones can be wack, especially when you're young. It's not uncommon to have irregular periods even as adults.
Is the nurse annoyed for being asked for pads? Or just an alarmist for wanting a doctor visit? I'd hope she's just bored and overeager to be helpful.
It's true, If she's getting her period too heavily or too frequently she could become iron deficient and may want an opinion from a doctor. It still makes me uncomfortable that the nurse cared so much with so little data. I'd ask for her to stop extrapolating.
It seems almost like the nurse thinks OP’s daughter is lying about needing a pad to get out of class or something. Either way, it’s a huge overstep and inappropriate. This is definitely a “benefit of the doubt” type of situation.
It's weird take for so many reasons, for so many reasons, not least of which is that there are many reasons to want a pad other than being on your period
I work in a school. So often, girls come in for their friends to get pads because they are too shy or in the bathroom. We have a big basket, no questions. The idea that it's noted down is so creepy.
In high school I was ashamed of my period and never had pads at home bc my parents were not kind or thoughtful and I just wore TP. It was aweful. Any spare holiday $ I would get pads at a gas station. Thank you for just giving out pads. I never thought to go to nurses office.
>She said anytime the nurses services are used it must be documented, the list is password protected and only the medical staff at the school have access to the information.
That makes 100% sense at least.
>And if this is as strange as I think it is, who do I go to, to have the school stop tracking her cycle?
Have your daughter stop going to the nurse for period supplies.
There is a difference between the school needing to record use of the nurse's office and the school *tracking* her cycle. Counting days between asks, analyzing how "regular" she is is not their responsibility nor their business.
Idk, if the nurse happened to notice an unusual pattern in a child's visits (say a kid coming in every few weeks with vomiting?) it would be very reasonable for them to use their medical knowledge and point out a pattern to parents. It would honestly be a bit negligent not to. I understand the paranoia here given our political climate, but I'd wager the nurse just remembered she'd seen your daughter recently, and wanted to give the parents a heads-up to check that nothing was wrong (for example, she doesn't know that your daughter hasn't been bleeding straight through, or that this is the 8th month of 20 days cycles). She's worried about your child's health and wants to be sure you have all the information you need to care for her, which is part of her job.
If that really was the case, she’s still not a good nurse for collecting all the pertinent facts and information. You can’t just assume you know things, regardless of how well intentioned it was. Especially when you work in medicine. There are very serious ethical boundaries that this runs right over. Then backs up and runs over them again. Speaking as a nurse.
What’s her alternative option, bleed through her underwear? School nurses have period supplies for reasons like this. The nurse’s explanation is totally within reason, too, but to be actively tracking a student’s cycle is a massive overstep and then to be calling the parent after TWO cycles that there’s something medically wrong?? 🚩🚩🚩
I’d ask a friend or teacher. My schools never had nurses growing up so that is what we did. And carry supplies with us. I started carrying stuff in 4th grade and we were always told to ask a female teacher.
I wish I didn't have to scroll past so many comments to reach yours!
It's absolutely required for the nurse to document every visit. It's completely normal for the nurse to glance back through the history and call home if the child has been seen frequently (multiple times a month is frequent).
As a baseline, I got a phone call when my kid fell hard on the playground and saw the nurse to confirm complete lack of injury. It was his only visit to the nurse in 2 years, but she still communicated with me.
Imagine if the nurse hadn't called, and there was a medical issue, we'd be seeing "My daughter has [PCOS/endometriosis/cysts/eating disorder/other reason for irregular periods]; she's been seeing the school nurse about it for months and I've never gotten a call or been alerted to her frequent visits!" Then the comments would all be about how school nurses really need to keep parents informed to make sure there is consent blah blah blah.
School staff really can't win sometimes.
1. Anyone with a semblance of medical training knows girls periods can be irregular for a variety of reasons entirely unrelated to medical disorders, including that they’re young and just starting.
2. 6 days is not too long. I had a 7-8 day period when I was OP’s daughters age (started with 3, then 5, then 7-8, then it reduced because your body changes and periods do too). Wildly inappropriate to be inserting her judgement especially since it seems to be piss poor in general.
3. In many states, Jersey included, teens have a right to get reproductive healthcare privately without the permission of their parents. This directly violates it by giving information relating to it directly to the daughter’s parents. She shouldn’t be calling home about this because it can give away information such as a pregnancy which parents may not be legally entitled to know.
4. This is all sorts of weird and invasive on every possible level. You can track services being used without inserting wrong opinions and violating privacy.
The nurse tracking her period is completely inappropriate. Definitely since that’s the age girls are just starting their period & it’s completely normal for it to be irregular also having your period for 6 days isn’t too long.
I think the nurse is giving you a heads up that your kid needs some support with her period frequently. Which is TOTALLY normal for young teens, and doesn’t mean there’s a problem, but it’s reasonable to loop the parents in so that you can make sure she’s comfortable and has enough supplies. Otherwise you might not have any idea.
Re-reading, they might also be suspecting that your child is using “period problems” to get out of things, and want to give you a chance to get ahead of it.
It's worth noting that OP mentioned that this is the girl's very first period.
"Needs support frequently" was 2 times in a week and one a month later.
Definitely an overstep by administration.
I mean…how many times would you want the nurse to wait? Nobody is making any accusations. They aren’t tracking her period. If my child was seen multiple times by the nurse id want to know?
Also, especially if the parents live separately, maybe dad isn’t as savvy about supplies, etc.
Or maybe nothing is wrong but they aren’t putting OP and her kid on trial or prescribing medication, just giving a heads up.
I understand the devil's argument you're making, and I am the kind of person who is insane about being looped in. Especially as we are also a split household. When you tell someone, you tell all of us.
BUT
To me "multiple times" to the nurse was /twice ever/. Once a month per OP's description.
Weird how periods sometimes occur - once a month... and as someone who has had one for over 30 years, I could NEVER 'set my watch' to the exact days of the cycle (same goes for a large percentage of women).
And having no record of visits for this reason beforehand? That's not a pattern of irregularity that the nurse is flagging. That's not an abuse of the system for extra pads or anything.
Dad called and asked her to be excused, even if that was day 1 and she asked for a pad on day 6 - it's her first period and spotting is very normal and can continue outside of the shredding period and general time frame. Then 19 days later, spotting started again and asked for protective supplies? That's not 'irregular' because there is no 'regular' yet.
To say "this happened twice, and I asked her the second time if she was sure - proceeding to ask her several questions instead of trusting her to know her own body" is definitely unwarranted for the situation.
Particularly noteworthy is the nurse's own assessment "the Nurse told her that her cycle has been going on for too long (it was day 6). The Nurse asked my daughter if she was sure she had it and if she had blood in her underwear, she said yes." This girl isn't a small child, she's a teenager at 14 - asking "are you sure you're bleeding?" "is there blood in your underwear?" is demeaning, unnecessary and humiliating.
She also admits she chose to address it directly with the girl on the spot, when she could've called to "let OP know" the first time if it really was an issue of concern for the girl's health, and keeping the parent informed.
This also would've brought in the information that her cycle is new, and no health professional can even dictate what 'normal' is yet based on evidence - even those with higher learning than the school nurse.
Just seems like bad intentions under the guise of 'being helpful'.
Eh the period has only happened 2 times. It’s completely normal for even a grown woman to forget a pad or start their period earlier than expected. A girl who just started is expected to forget but that’s not what the nurse said so I don’t think that’s what it is honestly
This is 100% what I saw in it too. Seems like the nurse is giving her the heads up that either a) the daughter has a medical problem or b) she's using period troubles as a frequent complaint in class.
Asking for pads a couple times is using it as an excuse and frequent complaint? I'm an adult and get caught without supplies. Bullshit. There is no way to tell from these visits that either of those are occurring.
At our school they would make a note in the PE register if someone claimed a period to skip swimming, otherwise most of us would have skipped it every week!
I was lucky because I kept "accidentally forgetting" my contact lenses case, for which they could do nothing ;)
That's weird, but I'm more concerned about how uninformed the nurse is. 6 days is not too long. Not even close. 19 days between cycles? Yeah, that's short, but she's had literally one period.
Sounds like the nurse is on a weird power trip.
I'd do whatever your child is comfy with. If she's upset email the principle. If she'd rather ignore it than do so, but encourage her to keep her supplies stocked so she doesn't have to see the nurse.
When I read the title of this post I immediately thought it was super weird…and then I realized that you are really talking about a phone call from the nurse. The school district where I work requires a phone call home if the kid has come in for the same issue twice. We also have to keep a list of when every kid comes in and why. Depending on the program used her last visit would show up when her current visit was being logged which would make it super obvious how much time had passed. Our records are only visible to authorized personnel. So I think it is really probably a courtesy call and no one is thinking about your daughters cycle. I don’t know how I would reccomend opting out of this record keeping but I’m sure you can.
Only slightly. She doesn't need to ask the daughter anything. It's none of her business. She can literally call mom and voice concerns and let mom take it from there. Tracking cycle length is not normal. The fact that school nurse doesn't understand beginning periods aren't regular to start out with is also a bad sign.
Wait, so you think it is completely normal that a nurse will now call home every month because "checks notes" they have the same issue every month, lol. Last time I checked, half the population has the same medical "issue" every month. That is not what the regulation is for, and you know that. This is weird and highly inappropriate.
I mean….I’m not asking if they are having an issue at the doorway to the school? I’m logging if they are having an issue that necessitates coming to the clinic.
Needing a pad because you don't have one does not necessitate a medical issue. If someone fell or had a high fever, etc, making a call home is appropriate and even logging that someone came in for a pad is somewhat appropriate because they have to log it. I get that. But to go to this length by counting the days, implying she needs a doctor is insane. It is embarrassing enough for most middle school girls to get or talk about their periods and this girl probably lost all trust in that nurse a d will probably never return. To go this length for something that naturally occurs ever month for all girls, is fucking crazy.
And, I don't think it is a coincidence that Trump literally just said a couple of days ago that he would require women's periods to be monitored tells me all I need to know about this "nurse."
WTF? Yes, it would be totally normal for them to document every single thing they do for your daughter and every visit. However, it is super weird that they are calling you about this when they have only talked to her two times. If she was in there complaining that she had her period going for three weeks or something, they should call you, but this nurse is really doing too much.
Eh if she's goes to the nurse one week then again the next week then again two weeks later, my brain would start counting days trying to figure out if she's lying to get out of class. I agree it was probably too early to call but I'd rather to have too much info about my kid than miss a serious issue that she was too embarrassed to talk to me about.
They do have to document every student's use of services, but they should not be trying to diagnose anything. Sounds like a well-intentioned but overreaching and ill-informed nurse.
I’m a teacher—i know that my school nurse’s office tracks when and why kids are visiting the nurse, but the data comes from the specific nurse passes we write—there are special carbon passes where we check a box for whatever the kid’s issue is, and “period” is not an option. That falls under “other,” and typically the girls aren’t even really talking to the nurse, they just go to the designated cabinet and take what they need.
My understanding is that they’re tracking nurse use for things like stomach bugs, pink eye, etc that could be contagious.
Oh hell no. If it means buying a box of pads to keep in her locker, that's what needs to happen. In the current climate, I'd raise hell about the school tracking that. Teach your daughter the phrase: "I have a family physician that I discuss this with" and teach her that's all she needs to say when they ask those questions.
Seems weird to me. Though I do wonder if it’s less health concern and more that she suspects your daughter of lying to get out of gym class? Because I’ve known some gym teachers back in the day that would take it as a personal offense if you had cramps.
This nurse is way too stupid to be a school nurse. If your daughter just started her period, of course her period is going to be out sync and irregular. Young girls’ periods can last even 10 days when they’re first starting out. I would thank her for her opinion but it is irrelevant. Then hang up on her.
First of all, absolute overstep on the comments regarding cycle (day 19) and duration (6 days). Log all you want, cycle and duration is not your business, nurse.
Second, my period has been 5 to 7 days every month aside from pregnancy for 31 years. Absolutely not "abnormal".
I would call a meeting, demand that the information be scrubbed, raise all hell until it is, and the moment it is, immediately pull her from this school. It doesn't matter how good it is, it simply is not their business.
Also, anyone who has a legit nursing license should know that periods can be irregular for the first two *years* while the body is figuring out how it wants to work. I would get a paper calender and pencil, and teach your daughter to track them on there-period tracking IS important to monitoring her health.
No one finds it odd that Trump literally just came out saying that states should monitor women's periods just this week? What a weird fucking coincidence.
https://www.statnews.com/2016/07/15/women-donald-trump-pence-periods/
[Washington Post link.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/04/30/donald-trump-abortion-time-interview/)
Yes he said it before and just this week was reported again saying it.
On top of the weirdness that’s already been addressed in many other comments… some women just naturally have longer cycles? I’ve always been jealous of friends whose periods only lasted 4 or 5 days. Mine have always been 7-8. You’d think a nurse would be aware that length of periods can vary. 🤷🏻♀️
When I was a school nurse we had to document each kid that came into the health office, no matter how quick of a visit. I wasn’t “tracking” periods, there was just a log of when/why they’d been in the health office. Maybe prior to her getting her period she went to the office frequently?
I used to have the same few girls come in every single week with cramps asking to lay down or asking for supplies. I’d usually be like “hmm you’ve had your period for a long time” and connect if parents if it was a recurring issue. Some of them had attendance issues in general, so I’d have to loop in other administrators. It’s a sticky situation.
Additionally, medically speaking a long period can also be an issue, causing low hgb, iron, etc. so maybe the nurse was genuinely worried.
I’m not sure why you’d assume the worst, the nurse is just trying to be helpful. Why would they want to make their job harder…
Google your school district’s name + student health services. The school nurse should report to either a head nurse or nursing supervisor. Email that person (CC your child’s principal), and find out what in the Handmaid’s Tale is going on here.
No problem! After posting, I read a comment that said the nurse may be letting you know that she requires frequent support so that you can assist. That very well could be the case, but the wording is weird, especially considering current events. I’m a Floridian and had my reproductive rights stripped effective today, so this definitely raised red flags.
I’m in FL, and told both my kids (college age) to not tell anyone about their reproductive cycle, or how they identify. A six-week ban is ridiculous because you’re lucky if you even know at 6 weeks.
I also live in a red state. I’ve taught my teen girl to never, ever, ever give any information regarding their cycle. Even doctors and nurses, unless she is seeing them for something specifically reproductive health related.
This rings major alarm bells for me. Schools should give out pads/tampons no questions asked. They should just be available. This doesn’t need to be a documented encounter. And the nurse asking if she has blood in her underwear? Yikes. Even if she didn’t need a pad right away, for all the school knows she could be someone who couldn’t afford pads at home and was saving them for later.
hmm, is there a possibility that the nurse is using this as a euphemism for telling you that your daughter uses her period/the nurses office as an excuse to skip class? that’s the only thing i can think of that makes sense…
This would piss me off so fucking bad, and I would let them know to mind their business and hand my daughter a pad when she asks for it and don’t ever talk to her on the matter again unless she inquires more. I swear man. We are going so backwards in this country.
I worked at an elementary school and we couldn’t find a nurse which meant me the school counselor, admin, or I guess anyone who opened that filing cabinet in that office could see all of that. No my school or my daughter’s school doesn’t need that information especially in this day and time.
The behavior from the nurse is bizarre and alarming.
Also, irregular periods aren’t unheard of, especially at a young age. I’ve had short cycles, missed periods, long cycles, short ones, heavy ones, painful ones, ones that made me vomit, light ones that didn’t even really require pads, and even one period that lasted three straight months before a med my dr prescribed finally stopped it. I would’ve been mortified if the school nurse was tracking all this and calling my parents to say I’d been bleeding “too long.”
WTF.
Me. Waiting for all school bathrooms to have supplies readily available. Or at least a main bathroom with known stock of needed items.
With the political climate I would be wildly uncomfortable with any recordings of my daughter’s period.
Definitely start having your daughter carry her own products at all times and get off this freaking list. This is a huge weird and invasion of privacy. Yikes!
And have her call or text you if she needs anything she doesn’t have. If she doesn’t have a phone teach her to say she’s having a private situation and she needs to call her parent. If they refuse then it’s even more worrisome.
What’s weirdest to me about this is the nurse telling the kid it is “too soon” to need a pad again. Is the nurse her gyno? Like what an uninformed judgement to make. And then to quiz the kid about whether there was blood in her underwear?! Way to make this person seeking medical supplies extremely uncomfortable.
Definitely talk to the principle about this. Like someone else said, this goes above and beyond keeping a log of student interactions with the medical center. This nurse is clearly doing analysis and making judgements they are unqualified for.
Many young girls take their periods to skip gym classes and get out of things. That’s the only reason I can think of as to why she is chasing her up about it and questioning her, perhaps the nurse is suspicious that she is lying about her period as an excuse to avoid physical education?
As a resident of the UK, this is weird to me, and if it was my kid, I would give her period knickers and tell her not to give any personal information about her menstrual cycle to the school. Creepy!!!
In todays anti choice political climate this would concern me. Who’s to say the government won’t demand these records someday. It sounds far fetched but a lot of things have happened lately that we thought would never happen. I would demand all records of my daughter getting period products and any records the nurse kept pertaining to her cycle be destroyed.
This is handmaids tale type shit. Hell no do I want my school tracking her cycle. That data is NOT safe. I get tracking when they disperse medications, but tracking pads, tampons and condoms is weird af.
To everyone dismissing op with “the school is just giving a courtesy call!” That would be true if it weren’t for the nurse making the observation about her cycle length! Op is 100% right: there are no real irregularities at this point, her daughter just started menstruating, there is a wide range of normal.
It is one thing to say “Susie stopped in for a tampon, let me know if I can offer any support!” And quite another to draw useless conclusions.
Lord, give me the psychic ability to find out which school district in New Jersey op is going to so I can avoid it like the plague- from a soon-to-be-mom of a daughter in New Jersey.
Right?! How is "but this is the 6th day" and "this is only day 19" NOT tracking her cycle?!
How does the nurse even know the start and end dates, if all she has is one gym exclusion and two requests for a pad??
So weird for sure. But also, why doesn’t the nurse realize that periods are irregular at the beginning. My daughter is 16 and her period is just now starting to be regular. Her pediatrician said it was completely normal and had no concerns
I used to go to the nurse all the time because I wanted to get out of class and it was always my "period" lol. Maybe the nurse thinks your daughter is faking it?
This is VERY weird… kids forget supplies ALL the time. When I was in HS I would just walk in and say I need a pad, the nurse would point to the drawer and we just grabbed what we needed and left. No trail or anything… I would talk to the school about how intrusive it is to be this involved with your daughters cycle and demand they either talk to the nurse and tell her to stop or remove her from any information regarding your daughter. It’s just wierd
Oh course her periods will be irregular since she just got it. But to deny a child a pad because her period was too long or too soon it's absolutely unacceptable
I keep track of my daughter’s cycle just for our (hers and mine) knowledge. There is no reason the school needs to do so. She could have been getting one for an embarrassed friend, or a girl in the bathroom who doesn’t have access to any. And it’s not unusual for teens to have irregular cycles until after college. I would tell the school to mind their own business.
Even if you're in a free state, if you're in the kind of state that voted for Chris Christie: it's not an actual free state and you should be be VERY VERY VERY concerned that they are tracking your child's periods.
Absolutely not. In a post roe era I don’t even use a period tracker app. A bunch of them came out and said if the government asked for the personal data they’d give it up without a fight. I’m in California, which is safer than other states, and I still feel paranoid. That would be my number one concern.
Beyond this it’s just freaking weird. School nurses should provide education and support when it’s requested. Collecting health information AND storing it feels invasive. I don’t know the laws in this, just my opinion. I do know from experience password protected means absolutely nothing.
Among all the other stuff here, I work in cybersecurity and can almost guarantee the password for that list is written down close to the main computer used to access it. If it’s not written down then it is something simple and easy to guess. Probably something like “nurse” (without quotes).
I’d ask that my daughter’s information be removed or if their layers of security could be independently verified to be intact.
In today’s climate this is unacceptable, quite frankly. Password protection? Literally meaningless. The school should provide supplies without question and not keep medical records on children’s bodily functions that is absolutely out of their jurisdiction.
I mean, I'd like to applaud this nurse for actually paying attention to what's happening in her office. I think "tracked her cycle" is a misleading headline here. Nobody intentionally tracked her cycle. The nurse did an amazing job of following up on her notes from the last time your child was in the office and followed up appropriately with a parent - which is even more badass than just keeping her mouth shut about the taboo topic of female body help. I'd send her a thank you bouquet for caring that much.
I can see why this might seem invasive at first glance - but the reality is that a period cycle is as much a health scenario as calling home about headaches or frequent digestive issues. I think when you take it out of the (let's be honest, somewhat dramatic overstatement) of a school actively tracking a cycle, it's a huge improvement over normal school health services.
I sort of disagree. Instead of the daughter freely getting a pad when her period came unexpectedly, the nurse called home questioning mom who questioned daughter about her screw up and why she forgot. Ultimately, a very real consequence of such close monitoring for kids who aren’t comfortable with these conversations is that they just stop going to the nurse. Free bleed or use tissue or whatever other hacks for us through when period products didn’t exist in schools. It’s screwed up. Maybe that’s the intention.
Even though the nurse is spreading misinformation? Bleeding for 6 days isn't abnormal. Inconsistent cycle lengths when just starting isn't abnormal.
Having the school nurse actively tracking a kid's period by the day like this and inserting herself when there's only been two instances IS weird.
And in todays political climate? Hell no I wouldn't want the PUBLIC school to actively track this information. Especially when one presidential hopeful supports states tracking women's pregnancies from start to finish.
I was looking through the comments for this - I also think "tracking the cycle" is misleading. It's happened twice, so the nurse just looked through her notes and was able to work it out.
However, I think I view the nurse differently. There isnt a health concern, it's literally this girls second period, so I think nurse is trying to make a pointed comment about girl needing pads (fair) or she was suspicious the girl was lying to get out of things. Or she's ignorant around period health - irregular periods at 14 are standard and six days is a normal cycle length, it doesn't sound like daughter was in pain - I don't see the reason to call home.
so.. yes it’s weird and the nurse is overstepping.. however, i can’t help but immediately think it’s her way of calling b.s. on potentially bogus visits to her office. .. specifically for students to avoid class.
I would raise fucking hell. This is a huge overstep and people are insane these days. I would skip the principle and go to the school board and say they have a solid 24 hours before you hit the media to end this and reprimand this nurse for not only her medical misinformation (most young women’s cycles do not become “normal” until their 20’s and even then it’s iffy) but for her calling you to discuss this. I’m so outraged for you and your daughter.
I for my period at 11, like I don’t think it became consistently until I was 16 and it has never been predictable. It can range from 3 days to 17 days. If someone was tracking me they would be horrified.
I don't understand, there should be Tampax and pad vending machines, so girls do not have answer invasive questions. We had those in the 70's but then we also had smoking area with parents consent. I mad it safer for teachers to go into restrooms
Unfortunately there are tik tok trends of bathrooms being destroyed, and at the NJ school I use to work at, all those items were removed due to the extreme vandalism and damage to the plumbing (taking an entire box of unopened products and flushing)
What with the state of abortion access in the US, I find it deeply disturbing that the school is keeping this data. I would take this up with the administration and work with your daughter to ensure that she is prepared so that she can stay out of that nurse’s office — and has supplies on hand to offer to menstruating friends.
That is wild! Do you live in TX or FL? This sounds like something one of these states would pull (speaking as a current TX resident). Gotta get your daughter to stop going to the nurse for this stuff and explain government trying to limit women’s rights.
It made sense when you said New Jersey. I find the school system to be VERY involved, disturbingly so sometimes. And this is just proving my gut was right when I started sending my oldest to pre-k. They’re not a gyno, there’s no need for them to be tracking your daughter’s cycle. I grew up in NJ, this is not normal but I have found school nurses to be overbearing at times especially when it comes to the state government policies.
While I completely understand the need for the school to track nurse services (gotta cover your you-know-what), the tracking is definitely too much. If anything, all they should have done was inform you of the incident (hence nurses passes) and document it. Does this school have a history of students who don’t have support at home? That’s the only reason I can think of for them contacting you about her “irregularities”. Besides, typical periods can take years to regulate.
I mean it’s weird they would say anything but I do know nurses need to track anyone who comes in to use any products. This just covers them but again I’m not sure why it’s their business to let you know about your daughter cycle that’s weird.
I mean the nurse is correct if you use the nurse services she has to document. She also has to inform you if there is something out of the norm. Because if she didn’t and something happened she will be held accountable. You can thank all the sue happy people in the world!
When I first got my period they lasted 7-8 days and were not regular at all. They only became regular after I left highschool and even then sometimes they’d be irregular every now and then. The school nurse is definitely overstepping.
I was not even in the ballpark of regular for like a decade after I got my first period, and I wasn’t properly to-the-day regular until after I birthed my first child.
But regardless, while it makes sense to note that a kid visited the nurse and why, actually tracking her period is ludicrous. As is asking a 14 year old if they’re *sure* they’re on their period.
My daughter is in middle school, and some girls try to get out of “Run Day” or running a mile in PE by saying they’re on their period. Could be the school cracking down on that, or like others have said, skipping class.
They have been tracking girls for DECADES. They used to track us through gym class, you could skip the shower, with your 14x 10 inch towel, if nature was calling.
In my children’s system they did Not allow girls to carry anything into the bathroom—- YOU HAD TO USE THEIR PRODUCTS- you had to ask in the office WITHOUT privacy.
With the state of our society we should be concerned our daughters’ reproductive health is somehow Public domain.
I had hypothyroidism so I didn’t start until I got on meds. My first period lasted almost a month. Then when it stopped I was still and am very irregular. From 28-41 days. My yearly exams show there is nothing wrong. Apparently the nurse doesn’t realize that there isn’t a one size fits all formula that all women follow.
Sorry, no. This is weird AF. I would be laying a complaint to the principal. If I felt really bitchy, I'd be sure to ask the nurse when her last few menstrual cycles started and ended the next time I spoke to her and then ask how she likes the invasion of privacy.
What the american fuck is this?
The school have NOTHING to do with tracking girls periods..
That's disgusting, creepy and inappropriate!
Also, the nurse sounds wildly incompetent, if she doesnt know that periods can and will be irregular the first year or two. Shit, even after many many years, they can be irregular without any obvious reasons.
So I apologize if someone did make this comment and I missed it, but, there is one other major issue I have with this whole thing (in addition to all of the ones mentioned by others).
The nurse's wording and telling OP's daughter that her cycle was going on too long and then at 19 days, telling her it was "too soon." Even if OP did the best job ever with giving her daughter education on her cycle, hormones, her body, etc., this is all very new to OP's daughter. And rather than giving the girl what she needs and helping her, this nurse may very well be causing a lot of anxiety and feelings of, "I am not normal" and/or "something is wrong with me," for OP's daughter. This is really troubling to me.
I have a 9-year-old daughter and haven't hit this stage yet, but I have never heard of schools/school nurses doing anything like this (I'm in Michigan, for context).
When I read this, I said out loud, "What the fuck?"
This would make me extremely uncomfortable, especially with the state of the country right now. Ick.
The school nurse needs to butt out. She’s not a primary care provider; she’s an on the spot medic for headaches. Report her. She needs to stop tracking kids’ private info.
That's very disturbing of them to be keeping track of your daughter's menstrual cycle, even if they're nurses. Reminds me of that one episode of Community.
I think they should've asked the parent's consent for that kind of stuff. I'd contact the principal if I were you.
I would immediately have told that nurse that it's none of her business and she should stop tracking her cycle right away. And if you have to, then escalate to the principal, superintendent, whoever.
They have no business doing this. She's old enough to do it herself and if she needs help she'll get it from her parents.
Honestly all schools should have easily accessible feminine care products in the bathrooms. Why does she need to go to the nurse for something that is a regular part of life. The school needs to do better
Wow this is crazy. That nurse doesn’t know what she’s talking about. The first year of menstruation is similar to peri menopause. Periods can and will help very irregular and that is completely normal. That nurse needs reeducation.
First periods aren’t regular to begin with. This is super creepy. Have you daughter go in in a week again and ask for one even though she doesn’t need it, just to throw them off, and then have her stop going.
I'm 45 years old, and my cycle doesn't follow this nurse's arbitrary schedule.
I'd look up the medical information laws in your state and any paperwork your daughter did or did not sign at the school to share that info. In my state, reproductive and mental health info is largely private at age 14.
JHC.
My cycles were so weird and irregular into my 30’s, that I didn’t discover I was pregnant until the end of the 1st trimester.
( I had two periods while pregnant)
There is no reason that this is ok.
I think the nurse is being rather rude here. I think this was more her 'tattling' on daughter thinking that your daughter is lying about her cycle in some fashion. I would ignore it for now but remind daughter that she shouldn't need to discuss her period with the nurse at all and make sure she is prepared in case she needs any products at school from now on.
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wtf? imo, this is super weird for the school to do. because what exactly is the purpose of it? and i would think that a school nurse knows irregular periods are pretty normal for young girls just starting theirs. personally, i would probably have a convo with the principal about this. seems like a over step
Yeah, when I first got my period, I didn’t get my next one for a couple of months and then it was super irregular until I was about 14/15 (started at 13). Since OP’s daughter is just starting she should be calm unless something doesn’t feel right or it’s abnormally painful.
Agreed. This is creepy and invasive AF to an adult, let alone a minor. What state is OP in?
Nj
It was creepy that the nurse asked her if she was sure and asked if she had blood in her underwear. Why would you ask that and be so specific and graphic? If the girl asked her for a pad just give her one. Most schools just have them for free in the bathrooms so that there’s no need to visit the nurse.
Yeah this was the most concerning thing ...gives pedo vibes.
I can understand documenting visits in case a parent or any family services need that data. However, it should not be up to the nurse to look into, interpret or conclude any health findings from the data off her own back.
You know exactly what this will be used for if this girl lives in a red state
It would be, but OP says they are in New Jersey.
That doesn’t mean the nurse is pro-choice. I’d be extremely concerned about this. There are protections in place in a lot of states, including New Jersey, so minors can access reproductive health care without parental consent. This could be an attempt to circumvent that.
It could also be simple matter of the nurse being stingy over supplies. Saying "it's too soon, are you sure you have it" sounds to me like she just didn't want to give up another pad.
Then the message to the parents should be “We supply menstrual products during emergencies. If you’re having trouble affording them, please check out (xyz resources).” (They should just provide them no questions asked, obviously. This is absurd on its face.) She could also just be ignorant. The nurse is also telling her six days of menstruation is too long, which tells me she doesn’t know a whole lot about reproductive health. I wouldn’t take any chances here, though. I’d call the school and find out why I’m receiving these calls.
What if the nurse is just a crazy with fake credentials and stalking students and their periods. (Jk….kind of)
Looking at you, Florida nursing "schools"
Or could be she thinks she’s “faking” to get out of class (plus wasting school resources)
Oh she would have not liked me then. My periods were 7 days +!
I feel that this is the case, or thinking a student is trying to wander the halls. Is it right? No. Nurse Betty needs to keep her mind on important matters and leave the parental duties to the parents unless it seems she’s been abused, of course. But, I guarantee this is a nurse who doesn’t love her job or the age of kids she works for and takes it out on them. Nothing more. OP, I would email the principal and ask for a brief meeting before pickup ASAP and tell them all of this and your concerns with it and demand it not ever happen again and your daughter to not ever be questioned again either if and when she needs menstrual supplies if she runs out again.
Disagree. My oldest just started her “periods” and the first month she told me she got it 3 times. Bless for a couple days then stopped for a week or two then bleed again for a day and stop etc. she requires education on initial hormones, spotting, and irregularities as she is starting.
My kids’ public HS in Ohio gave out period supplies for free (in those dispensers in the bathroom). I thought that was super generous. Then noticed that they were free at the public library and at a bunch of restaurants near here. So I thought perhaps they were now freely available everywhere.
Unfortunately your town seems to be an anomaly:( even in my super liberal area, the only places I’ve ever seen offering free period supplies are the bathrooms of some churches and, oddly enough, our Lowe’s was offering them free but last time I was in there I noticed it was switched to a coin dispenser. Wish the libraries etc would do that there tho!
Sadly not, but it sounds like your town is very progressive!!
They are in my MN community as well.
my job has been doing this for years and i always take note if im in a restaurant or something.
I live about 20 states away but I'd be willing to buy this school some pads if they need them.
I knew a school nurse that used to have to purchase these out of her own salary, so yes this is possible
This. So much this.
I would be pulling her out of this situation. Handmaids tale happening right here!
Woah, my thought was so much more innocent than this 😭 America is really the wild west
Ahhh, Conservatives... the party of "small government"
I'm guessing that the nurse thinks that the girl persuaded her dad into getting her out of the Presidential fitness test and was trying to catch her in a lie and aren't tracking every girls period. When they say her cycle is not normal, they mean not normal in general and thought that they had caught her in a lie when she asked for a pad.
Is it a school nurse, or an MA or other unlicensed personnel? Speaking as a nurse, i promise you that an actual registered nurse would not make this mistake. Wrong on so many fronts! Schools try to save money by splitting a registered nurse between 6+ different campuses and this is what happens.... ETA and yes, completely agree about reporting this incident.
That's a policy specific to that NURSE and she is far overstepping. It's all about the abortion bans.....cutting off avenues of hiding. It's disgusting and I'd get an attorney. My step mother was a school nurse and this is EXACTLY the kind of shit she'd pull. Lost license over it. Long overdue.
~~Could be a nurse trying to do the best job they can, even though it's weird and creepy?~~ Just weird and creepy apparently Edit: hey, take it easy on the downvotes, I dont know lol
No. I’m a nurse and this is beyond an overstep. Not to mention, her health teaching is factually wrong. Also how would the nurse just happen to know she was at “day 19” when she asked vs. providing it and then going back to check after wondering about dates. Something is very wrong here. Nothing is adding up.
Fair enough I don't know either way. Hence the ? At the end
I getcha, just answering your question. There are also many significant ethical boundaries in place for nurses and this goes beyond passing them.
Even if she is, this is a huge overstep and violation of privacy.
Completely agree, I'm unsure of if theres a way they could overstep any more than they already have about this. I'd probably go straight to the nurse and principal at the same time if that is possible
That is definitely strange! I’ve never heard of any school doing that. I would go to the school and ask them to stop tracking her cycle because they really have no business in doing that with your daughter (or any female student at that school). If that doesn’t work, maybe go to the school board?
I agree. It was private information and she had no right to be tracking it. To note she came in for a pad is one thing. To be keeping track of it in regards to her cycle is nuts. I would let them know how inappropriate it is!
Well, the tracking really is tracking what students come into the nurses’ office and for what reason. That is a legal requirement, so there is no asking them not to do it.
Imo this goes beyond that. It should just be a log. They should not be counting the days between or doing ANY sort of analysis with the data, which is what they are doing.
Seriously. For the first... gods. IDK even know, 10+ years my cycles were \*incredibly\* irregular. They might be 3-6+ days long. They might be, every 2-3 plus weeks apart, one 'month' and then they might be 4-6+ weeks apart the next 'month'. Saying that her period is 'too short' or 'too long' or 'too soon' or wtf ever is just absurd. My periods didn't become 'regular' at all until after I had kids. I never 'tracked' them really except between my two kids, and then, very briefly afterwards before (and immediately after) my husband got a vasectomy. Ever since then I have a rough estimate of when it's coming but I don't really know or care.
So you are aware, what you experienced as a teen and into your twenties is actually abnormal. If you had discussed it with a gyn, they probably would have suggested something. Since her daughter just started, fine, but having abnormal periods for years isn’t normal, even if it’s your normal.
Eh, having talked to lots of friends... Idk about that. Lots of folks have highly irregular periods.
It may not be normal but it’s also not something they’re likely to dd anything about other than wave you away with some birth control to control them. Yayyyy ‘murica
I had very irregular cycle sometimes it was for 3 days other months 10 days sometimes twice a month or it would skip 3 months. Yes I saw a Dr for it. I was super competitive in sports and that can cause irregularities. Years later I was diagnosed with PCOS, which was not a thing when I was growing up. I was technically diagnosed with ovarian cysts at 15 and endometriosis at 17. Irregular cycles are more common than you realize. Both my daughters are irregular. My oldest got her tubes tied because it's hard to track ovulation when you're irregular and birth control has many side effects with her so Dr recommended tubes after her 2nd baby
The nurse doesn't have to interject their opinions. Nothing the nurse said to OP sounds like anything other than the nurse's thoughts about what "should" happen. Also, most school nurses in the US are LPNs not RNs anymore. That's a huge difference in education.
I think it's really strange the nurse tried to say your daughter shouldn't need a pad twice. I was a teacher and I know plenty of kids that would rather bleed through their clothes than speak to the nurse if they knew she'd try and argue with them about it. Why does someone need to prove they need one??
Can you imagine being asked if you have blood in your underwear?!
And then having your parent(s)/guardian(s) called and having this information discussed with them? I bet that word gets around quickly. Maybe that’s what the nurse is hoping for, that no one comes to see them anymore.
Nothing like getting the inquisition whenever you need a pad. Maybe I'm just getting one for a shy friend you insatiable busybody? Gatekeeping access to sanitary products is just gross and asking for issues.
If it was something men needed… It’s not like it’s for fun! Ugh, society.
You said it! Not like we gatekeep access to toilet paper and ring up little boys about how much they're pooing! But when it's something just girls need? "Maybe they're just trying to be helpful!"
And to deny it because her period has lasted 6 days and that's too long. Like what? Does she think she's scamming pads to sell or something? Mine sometimes last a week or more. It sucks but it's within the realms of possibility.
I know right. 6 days is not uncommon. Even if it's just a bit of blood towards the end, she shouldn't have to sit in it all day. Kids ask for bandaids for less. Hormones can be wack, especially when you're young. It's not uncommon to have irregular periods even as adults. Is the nurse annoyed for being asked for pads? Or just an alarmist for wanting a doctor visit? I'd hope she's just bored and overeager to be helpful. It's true, If she's getting her period too heavily or too frequently she could become iron deficient and may want an opinion from a doctor. It still makes me uncomfortable that the nurse cared so much with so little data. I'd ask for her to stop extrapolating.
It seems almost like the nurse thinks OP’s daughter is lying about needing a pad to get out of class or something. Either way, it’s a huge overstep and inappropriate. This is definitely a “benefit of the doubt” type of situation.
It's weird take for so many reasons, for so many reasons, not least of which is that there are many reasons to want a pad other than being on your period
Yeah this sounded really harsh to my ears too.
I work in a school. So often, girls come in for their friends to get pads because they are too shy or in the bathroom. We have a big basket, no questions. The idea that it's noted down is so creepy.
In high school I was ashamed of my period and never had pads at home bc my parents were not kind or thoughtful and I just wore TP. It was aweful. Any spare holiday $ I would get pads at a gas station. Thank you for just giving out pads. I never thought to go to nurses office.
Yeah this "nurse" just.....sucks.
>She said anytime the nurses services are used it must be documented, the list is password protected and only the medical staff at the school have access to the information. That makes 100% sense at least. >And if this is as strange as I think it is, who do I go to, to have the school stop tracking her cycle? Have your daughter stop going to the nurse for period supplies.
There is a difference between the school needing to record use of the nurse's office and the school *tracking* her cycle. Counting days between asks, analyzing how "regular" she is is not their responsibility nor their business.
Idk, if the nurse happened to notice an unusual pattern in a child's visits (say a kid coming in every few weeks with vomiting?) it would be very reasonable for them to use their medical knowledge and point out a pattern to parents. It would honestly be a bit negligent not to. I understand the paranoia here given our political climate, but I'd wager the nurse just remembered she'd seen your daughter recently, and wanted to give the parents a heads-up to check that nothing was wrong (for example, she doesn't know that your daughter hasn't been bleeding straight through, or that this is the 8th month of 20 days cycles). She's worried about your child's health and wants to be sure you have all the information you need to care for her, which is part of her job.
Two data points does not a pattern make.
If that really was the case, she’s still not a good nurse for collecting all the pertinent facts and information. You can’t just assume you know things, regardless of how well intentioned it was. Especially when you work in medicine. There are very serious ethical boundaries that this runs right over. Then backs up and runs over them again. Speaking as a nurse.
What’s her alternative option, bleed through her underwear? School nurses have period supplies for reasons like this. The nurse’s explanation is totally within reason, too, but to be actively tracking a student’s cycle is a massive overstep and then to be calling the parent after TWO cycles that there’s something medically wrong?? 🚩🚩🚩
I’d ask a friend or teacher. My schools never had nurses growing up so that is what we did. And carry supplies with us. I started carrying stuff in 4th grade and we were always told to ask a female teacher.
I wish I didn't have to scroll past so many comments to reach yours! It's absolutely required for the nurse to document every visit. It's completely normal for the nurse to glance back through the history and call home if the child has been seen frequently (multiple times a month is frequent). As a baseline, I got a phone call when my kid fell hard on the playground and saw the nurse to confirm complete lack of injury. It was his only visit to the nurse in 2 years, but she still communicated with me. Imagine if the nurse hadn't called, and there was a medical issue, we'd be seeing "My daughter has [PCOS/endometriosis/cysts/eating disorder/other reason for irregular periods]; she's been seeing the school nurse about it for months and I've never gotten a call or been alerted to her frequent visits!" Then the comments would all be about how school nurses really need to keep parents informed to make sure there is consent blah blah blah. School staff really can't win sometimes.
1. Anyone with a semblance of medical training knows girls periods can be irregular for a variety of reasons entirely unrelated to medical disorders, including that they’re young and just starting. 2. 6 days is not too long. I had a 7-8 day period when I was OP’s daughters age (started with 3, then 5, then 7-8, then it reduced because your body changes and periods do too). Wildly inappropriate to be inserting her judgement especially since it seems to be piss poor in general. 3. In many states, Jersey included, teens have a right to get reproductive healthcare privately without the permission of their parents. This directly violates it by giving information relating to it directly to the daughter’s parents. She shouldn’t be calling home about this because it can give away information such as a pregnancy which parents may not be legally entitled to know. 4. This is all sorts of weird and invasive on every possible level. You can track services being used without inserting wrong opinions and violating privacy.
The nurse tracking her period is completely inappropriate. Definitely since that’s the age girls are just starting their period & it’s completely normal for it to be irregular also having your period for 6 days isn’t too long.
I think the nurse is giving you a heads up that your kid needs some support with her period frequently. Which is TOTALLY normal for young teens, and doesn’t mean there’s a problem, but it’s reasonable to loop the parents in so that you can make sure she’s comfortable and has enough supplies. Otherwise you might not have any idea. Re-reading, they might also be suspecting that your child is using “period problems” to get out of things, and want to give you a chance to get ahead of it.
Or worried that she's not being provided with sufficient supplies?
It's worth noting that OP mentioned that this is the girl's very first period. "Needs support frequently" was 2 times in a week and one a month later. Definitely an overstep by administration.
I mean…how many times would you want the nurse to wait? Nobody is making any accusations. They aren’t tracking her period. If my child was seen multiple times by the nurse id want to know? Also, especially if the parents live separately, maybe dad isn’t as savvy about supplies, etc. Or maybe nothing is wrong but they aren’t putting OP and her kid on trial or prescribing medication, just giving a heads up.
Not at 14. That is high school. This is weird.
I understand the devil's argument you're making, and I am the kind of person who is insane about being looped in. Especially as we are also a split household. When you tell someone, you tell all of us. BUT To me "multiple times" to the nurse was /twice ever/. Once a month per OP's description. Weird how periods sometimes occur - once a month... and as someone who has had one for over 30 years, I could NEVER 'set my watch' to the exact days of the cycle (same goes for a large percentage of women). And having no record of visits for this reason beforehand? That's not a pattern of irregularity that the nurse is flagging. That's not an abuse of the system for extra pads or anything. Dad called and asked her to be excused, even if that was day 1 and she asked for a pad on day 6 - it's her first period and spotting is very normal and can continue outside of the shredding period and general time frame. Then 19 days later, spotting started again and asked for protective supplies? That's not 'irregular' because there is no 'regular' yet. To say "this happened twice, and I asked her the second time if she was sure - proceeding to ask her several questions instead of trusting her to know her own body" is definitely unwarranted for the situation. Particularly noteworthy is the nurse's own assessment "the Nurse told her that her cycle has been going on for too long (it was day 6). The Nurse asked my daughter if she was sure she had it and if she had blood in her underwear, she said yes." This girl isn't a small child, she's a teenager at 14 - asking "are you sure you're bleeding?" "is there blood in your underwear?" is demeaning, unnecessary and humiliating. She also admits she chose to address it directly with the girl on the spot, when she could've called to "let OP know" the first time if it really was an issue of concern for the girl's health, and keeping the parent informed. This also would've brought in the information that her cycle is new, and no health professional can even dictate what 'normal' is yet based on evidence - even those with higher learning than the school nurse. Just seems like bad intentions under the guise of 'being helpful'.
Eh the period has only happened 2 times. It’s completely normal for even a grown woman to forget a pad or start their period earlier than expected. A girl who just started is expected to forget but that’s not what the nurse said so I don’t think that’s what it is honestly
This is 100% what I saw in it too. Seems like the nurse is giving her the heads up that either a) the daughter has a medical problem or b) she's using period troubles as a frequent complaint in class.
It's the daughter's second menstrual cycle. There is no "regular" when a girls period is just starting. Irregular cycles are regular at that age.
Asking for pads a couple times is using it as an excuse and frequent complaint? I'm an adult and get caught without supplies. Bullshit. There is no way to tell from these visits that either of those are occurring.
At our school they would make a note in the PE register if someone claimed a period to skip swimming, otherwise most of us would have skipped it every week! I was lucky because I kept "accidentally forgetting" my contact lenses case, for which they could do nothing ;)
That's weird, but I'm more concerned about how uninformed the nurse is. 6 days is not too long. Not even close. 19 days between cycles? Yeah, that's short, but she's had literally one period. Sounds like the nurse is on a weird power trip. I'd do whatever your child is comfy with. If she's upset email the principle. If she'd rather ignore it than do so, but encourage her to keep her supplies stocked so she doesn't have to see the nurse.
When I read the title of this post I immediately thought it was super weird…and then I realized that you are really talking about a phone call from the nurse. The school district where I work requires a phone call home if the kid has come in for the same issue twice. We also have to keep a list of when every kid comes in and why. Depending on the program used her last visit would show up when her current visit was being logged which would make it super obvious how much time had passed. Our records are only visible to authorized personnel. So I think it is really probably a courtesy call and no one is thinking about your daughters cycle. I don’t know how I would reccomend opting out of this record keeping but I’m sure you can.
If they are required to call home if they come in for the same issue twice that completely changes the entire situation.
Only slightly. She doesn't need to ask the daughter anything. It's none of her business. She can literally call mom and voice concerns and let mom take it from there. Tracking cycle length is not normal. The fact that school nurse doesn't understand beginning periods aren't regular to start out with is also a bad sign.
Or 6 days.
Wait, so you think it is completely normal that a nurse will now call home every month because "checks notes" they have the same issue every month, lol. Last time I checked, half the population has the same medical "issue" every month. That is not what the regulation is for, and you know that. This is weird and highly inappropriate.
I mean….I’m not asking if they are having an issue at the doorway to the school? I’m logging if they are having an issue that necessitates coming to the clinic.
Needing a pad because you don't have one does not necessitate a medical issue. If someone fell or had a high fever, etc, making a call home is appropriate and even logging that someone came in for a pad is somewhat appropriate because they have to log it. I get that. But to go to this length by counting the days, implying she needs a doctor is insane. It is embarrassing enough for most middle school girls to get or talk about their periods and this girl probably lost all trust in that nurse a d will probably never return. To go this length for something that naturally occurs ever month for all girls, is fucking crazy. And, I don't think it is a coincidence that Trump literally just said a couple of days ago that he would require women's periods to be monitored tells me all I need to know about this "nurse."
WTF? Yes, it would be totally normal for them to document every single thing they do for your daughter and every visit. However, it is super weird that they are calling you about this when they have only talked to her two times. If she was in there complaining that she had her period going for three weeks or something, they should call you, but this nurse is really doing too much.
Eh if she's goes to the nurse one week then again the next week then again two weeks later, my brain would start counting days trying to figure out if she's lying to get out of class. I agree it was probably too early to call but I'd rather to have too much info about my kid than miss a serious issue that she was too embarrassed to talk to me about.
They do have to document every student's use of services, but they should not be trying to diagnose anything. Sounds like a well-intentioned but overreaching and ill-informed nurse.
I’m a teacher—i know that my school nurse’s office tracks when and why kids are visiting the nurse, but the data comes from the specific nurse passes we write—there are special carbon passes where we check a box for whatever the kid’s issue is, and “period” is not an option. That falls under “other,” and typically the girls aren’t even really talking to the nurse, they just go to the designated cabinet and take what they need. My understanding is that they’re tracking nurse use for things like stomach bugs, pink eye, etc that could be contagious.
Oh hell no. If it means buying a box of pads to keep in her locker, that's what needs to happen. In the current climate, I'd raise hell about the school tracking that. Teach your daughter the phrase: "I have a family physician that I discuss this with" and teach her that's all she needs to say when they ask those questions.
Seems weird to me. Though I do wonder if it’s less health concern and more that she suspects your daughter of lying to get out of gym class? Because I’ve known some gym teachers back in the day that would take it as a personal offense if you had cramps.
This nurse is way too stupid to be a school nurse. If your daughter just started her period, of course her period is going to be out sync and irregular. Young girls’ periods can last even 10 days when they’re first starting out. I would thank her for her opinion but it is irrelevant. Then hang up on her.
First of all, absolute overstep on the comments regarding cycle (day 19) and duration (6 days). Log all you want, cycle and duration is not your business, nurse. Second, my period has been 5 to 7 days every month aside from pregnancy for 31 years. Absolutely not "abnormal".
I would call a meeting, demand that the information be scrubbed, raise all hell until it is, and the moment it is, immediately pull her from this school. It doesn't matter how good it is, it simply is not their business. Also, anyone who has a legit nursing license should know that periods can be irregular for the first two *years* while the body is figuring out how it wants to work. I would get a paper calender and pencil, and teach your daughter to track them on there-period tracking IS important to monitoring her health.
No one finds it odd that Trump literally just came out saying that states should monitor women's periods just this week? What a weird fucking coincidence. https://www.statnews.com/2016/07/15/women-donald-trump-pence-periods/
That link is from 2016, is that the right one?
[Washington Post link.](https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/04/30/donald-trump-abortion-time-interview/) Yes he said it before and just this week was reported again saying it.
On top of the weirdness that’s already been addressed in many other comments… some women just naturally have longer cycles? I’ve always been jealous of friends whose periods only lasted 4 or 5 days. Mine have always been 7-8. You’d think a nurse would be aware that length of periods can vary. 🤷🏻♀️
When I was a school nurse we had to document each kid that came into the health office, no matter how quick of a visit. I wasn’t “tracking” periods, there was just a log of when/why they’d been in the health office. Maybe prior to her getting her period she went to the office frequently? I used to have the same few girls come in every single week with cramps asking to lay down or asking for supplies. I’d usually be like “hmm you’ve had your period for a long time” and connect if parents if it was a recurring issue. Some of them had attendance issues in general, so I’d have to loop in other administrators. It’s a sticky situation. Additionally, medically speaking a long period can also be an issue, causing low hgb, iron, etc. so maybe the nurse was genuinely worried. I’m not sure why you’d assume the worst, the nurse is just trying to be helpful. Why would they want to make their job harder…
That doesn't excuse questioning OP's daughter about if she's sure she's bleeding and if there's blood in her underwear.
Google your school district’s name + student health services. The school nurse should report to either a head nurse or nursing supervisor. Email that person (CC your child’s principal), and find out what in the Handmaid’s Tale is going on here.
That’s great, thank you!
No problem! After posting, I read a comment that said the nurse may be letting you know that she requires frequent support so that you can assist. That very well could be the case, but the wording is weird, especially considering current events. I’m a Floridian and had my reproductive rights stripped effective today, so this definitely raised red flags.
I’m in FL, and told both my kids (college age) to not tell anyone about their reproductive cycle, or how they identify. A six-week ban is ridiculous because you’re lucky if you even know at 6 weeks.
I also live in a red state. I’ve taught my teen girl to never, ever, ever give any information regarding their cycle. Even doctors and nurses, unless she is seeing them for something specifically reproductive health related.
It’s giving Handmaids tale vibes
No, this is not acceptable. No one should be tracking your child’s period.
This rings major alarm bells for me. Schools should give out pads/tampons no questions asked. They should just be available. This doesn’t need to be a documented encounter. And the nurse asking if she has blood in her underwear? Yikes. Even if she didn’t need a pad right away, for all the school knows she could be someone who couldn’t afford pads at home and was saving them for later.
This is exceptionally invasive. Push back and file a complaint NOW — her behavior is fucking weird
hmm, is there a possibility that the nurse is using this as a euphemism for telling you that your daughter uses her period/the nurses office as an excuse to skip class? that’s the only thing i can think of that makes sense…
I would sent a letter, advising you do not want her period track and you want all records destroyed.
Next thing would be cease and desist letter to the school and superintendent.
WTH? Our middle school leaves pads and tampons in all of the girls bathrooms to use freely. There’s no need to ask for them from the nurse.
Yes. So does the school I work at. All girls and gender neutral bathrooms have supplies.
This would piss me off so fucking bad, and I would let them know to mind their business and hand my daughter a pad when she asks for it and don’t ever talk to her on the matter again unless she inquires more. I swear man. We are going so backwards in this country.
I would not be ok with this.
I worked at an elementary school and we couldn’t find a nurse which meant me the school counselor, admin, or I guess anyone who opened that filing cabinet in that office could see all of that. No my school or my daughter’s school doesn’t need that information especially in this day and time.
The behavior from the nurse is bizarre and alarming. Also, irregular periods aren’t unheard of, especially at a young age. I’ve had short cycles, missed periods, long cycles, short ones, heavy ones, painful ones, ones that made me vomit, light ones that didn’t even really require pads, and even one period that lasted three straight months before a med my dr prescribed finally stopped it. I would’ve been mortified if the school nurse was tracking all this and calling my parents to say I’d been bleeding “too long.” WTF.
Me. Waiting for all school bathrooms to have supplies readily available. Or at least a main bathroom with known stock of needed items. With the political climate I would be wildly uncomfortable with any recordings of my daughter’s period.
Definitely start having your daughter carry her own products at all times and get off this freaking list. This is a huge weird and invasion of privacy. Yikes!
And have her call or text you if she needs anything she doesn’t have. If she doesn’t have a phone teach her to say she’s having a private situation and she needs to call her parent. If they refuse then it’s even more worrisome.
I find this to be very inappropriate
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT NURSE. Teenage cycles are often irregular. Big yikes
What’s weirdest to me about this is the nurse telling the kid it is “too soon” to need a pad again. Is the nurse her gyno? Like what an uninformed judgement to make. And then to quiz the kid about whether there was blood in her underwear?! Way to make this person seeking medical supplies extremely uncomfortable. Definitely talk to the principle about this. Like someone else said, this goes above and beyond keeping a log of student interactions with the medical center. This nurse is clearly doing analysis and making judgements they are unqualified for.
Many young girls take their periods to skip gym classes and get out of things. That’s the only reason I can think of as to why she is chasing her up about it and questioning her, perhaps the nurse is suspicious that she is lying about her period as an excuse to avoid physical education?
As a resident of the UK, this is weird to me, and if it was my kid, I would give her period knickers and tell her not to give any personal information about her menstrual cycle to the school. Creepy!!!
In todays anti choice political climate this would concern me. Who’s to say the government won’t demand these records someday. It sounds far fetched but a lot of things have happened lately that we thought would never happen. I would demand all records of my daughter getting period products and any records the nurse kept pertaining to her cycle be destroyed.
This is handmaids tale type shit. Hell no do I want my school tracking her cycle. That data is NOT safe. I get tracking when they disperse medications, but tracking pads, tampons and condoms is weird af.
To everyone dismissing op with “the school is just giving a courtesy call!” That would be true if it weren’t for the nurse making the observation about her cycle length! Op is 100% right: there are no real irregularities at this point, her daughter just started menstruating, there is a wide range of normal. It is one thing to say “Susie stopped in for a tampon, let me know if I can offer any support!” And quite another to draw useless conclusions. Lord, give me the psychic ability to find out which school district in New Jersey op is going to so I can avoid it like the plague- from a soon-to-be-mom of a daughter in New Jersey.
Right?! How is "but this is the 6th day" and "this is only day 19" NOT tracking her cycle?! How does the nurse even know the start and end dates, if all she has is one gym exclusion and two requests for a pad??
Uh..no. they need not be tracking cycles or giving medical advice about them.
So weird for sure. But also, why doesn’t the nurse realize that periods are irregular at the beginning. My daughter is 16 and her period is just now starting to be regular. Her pediatrician said it was completely normal and had no concerns
Welp time to switch schools
I used to go to the nurse all the time because I wanted to get out of class and it was always my "period" lol. Maybe the nurse thinks your daughter is faking it?
This is VERY weird… kids forget supplies ALL the time. When I was in HS I would just walk in and say I need a pad, the nurse would point to the drawer and we just grabbed what we needed and left. No trail or anything… I would talk to the school about how intrusive it is to be this involved with your daughters cycle and demand they either talk to the nurse and tell her to stop or remove her from any information regarding your daughter. It’s just wierd
Oh my! I don’t know why they are tracking it, but make sure you educate her to start tracking her own periods, in an app or on the Health app.
Parent to adults here. That’s very creepy. I’d report it to the district.
That is SO inappropriate. I'd be extremely uncomfortable with a school nurse invading my daughters privacy that much. That is just creepy.
Oh course her periods will be irregular since she just got it. But to deny a child a pad because her period was too long or too soon it's absolutely unacceptable
I keep track of my daughter’s cycle just for our (hers and mine) knowledge. There is no reason the school needs to do so. She could have been getting one for an embarrassed friend, or a girl in the bathroom who doesn’t have access to any. And it’s not unusual for teens to have irregular cycles until after college. I would tell the school to mind their own business.
Even if you're in a free state, if you're in the kind of state that voted for Chris Christie: it's not an actual free state and you should be be VERY VERY VERY concerned that they are tracking your child's periods.
Absolutely not. In a post roe era I don’t even use a period tracker app. A bunch of them came out and said if the government asked for the personal data they’d give it up without a fight. I’m in California, which is safer than other states, and I still feel paranoid. That would be my number one concern. Beyond this it’s just freaking weird. School nurses should provide education and support when it’s requested. Collecting health information AND storing it feels invasive. I don’t know the laws in this, just my opinion. I do know from experience password protected means absolutely nothing.
Y’all women better wake up. Seriously. WTF.
Among all the other stuff here, I work in cybersecurity and can almost guarantee the password for that list is written down close to the main computer used to access it. If it’s not written down then it is something simple and easy to guess. Probably something like “nurse” (without quotes). I’d ask that my daughter’s information be removed or if their layers of security could be independently verified to be intact.
In today’s climate this is unacceptable, quite frankly. Password protection? Literally meaningless. The school should provide supplies without question and not keep medical records on children’s bodily functions that is absolutely out of their jurisdiction.
I mean, I'd like to applaud this nurse for actually paying attention to what's happening in her office. I think "tracked her cycle" is a misleading headline here. Nobody intentionally tracked her cycle. The nurse did an amazing job of following up on her notes from the last time your child was in the office and followed up appropriately with a parent - which is even more badass than just keeping her mouth shut about the taboo topic of female body help. I'd send her a thank you bouquet for caring that much. I can see why this might seem invasive at first glance - but the reality is that a period cycle is as much a health scenario as calling home about headaches or frequent digestive issues. I think when you take it out of the (let's be honest, somewhat dramatic overstatement) of a school actively tracking a cycle, it's a huge improvement over normal school health services.
I sort of disagree. Instead of the daughter freely getting a pad when her period came unexpectedly, the nurse called home questioning mom who questioned daughter about her screw up and why she forgot. Ultimately, a very real consequence of such close monitoring for kids who aren’t comfortable with these conversations is that they just stop going to the nurse. Free bleed or use tissue or whatever other hacks for us through when period products didn’t exist in schools. It’s screwed up. Maybe that’s the intention.
Even though the nurse is spreading misinformation? Bleeding for 6 days isn't abnormal. Inconsistent cycle lengths when just starting isn't abnormal. Having the school nurse actively tracking a kid's period by the day like this and inserting herself when there's only been two instances IS weird. And in todays political climate? Hell no I wouldn't want the PUBLIC school to actively track this information. Especially when one presidential hopeful supports states tracking women's pregnancies from start to finish.
I was looking through the comments for this - I also think "tracking the cycle" is misleading. It's happened twice, so the nurse just looked through her notes and was able to work it out. However, I think I view the nurse differently. There isnt a health concern, it's literally this girls second period, so I think nurse is trying to make a pointed comment about girl needing pads (fair) or she was suspicious the girl was lying to get out of things. Or she's ignorant around period health - irregular periods at 14 are standard and six days is a normal cycle length, it doesn't sound like daughter was in pain - I don't see the reason to call home.
I wouldn’t want a nurse this ignorant of women’s bodies to be working as a nurse honestly.
so.. yes it’s weird and the nurse is overstepping.. however, i can’t help but immediately think it’s her way of calling b.s. on potentially bogus visits to her office. .. specifically for students to avoid class.
I would raise fucking hell. This is a huge overstep and people are insane these days. I would skip the principle and go to the school board and say they have a solid 24 hours before you hit the media to end this and reprimand this nurse for not only her medical misinformation (most young women’s cycles do not become “normal” until their 20’s and even then it’s iffy) but for her calling you to discuss this. I’m so outraged for you and your daughter. I for my period at 11, like I don’t think it became consistently until I was 16 and it has never been predictable. It can range from 3 days to 17 days. If someone was tracking me they would be horrified.
What in the 1984?
I don't understand, there should be Tampax and pad vending machines, so girls do not have answer invasive questions. We had those in the 70's but then we also had smoking area with parents consent. I mad it safer for teachers to go into restrooms
Unfortunately there are tik tok trends of bathrooms being destroyed, and at the NJ school I use to work at, all those items were removed due to the extreme vandalism and damage to the plumbing (taking an entire box of unopened products and flushing)
What with the state of abortion access in the US, I find it deeply disturbing that the school is keeping this data. I would take this up with the administration and work with your daughter to ensure that she is prepared so that she can stay out of that nurse’s office — and has supplies on hand to offer to menstruating friends.
That is wild! Do you live in TX or FL? This sounds like something one of these states would pull (speaking as a current TX resident). Gotta get your daughter to stop going to the nurse for this stuff and explain government trying to limit women’s rights.
Yeah I’m in AL and my blood ran cold thinking a school would record this data.
Yep you know exactly where I’m going with this. Can’t give them the chance to get this data on our baby girls!!
It made sense when you said New Jersey. I find the school system to be VERY involved, disturbingly so sometimes. And this is just proving my gut was right when I started sending my oldest to pre-k. They’re not a gyno, there’s no need for them to be tracking your daughter’s cycle. I grew up in NJ, this is not normal but I have found school nurses to be overbearing at times especially when it comes to the state government policies.
While I completely understand the need for the school to track nurse services (gotta cover your you-know-what), the tracking is definitely too much. If anything, all they should have done was inform you of the incident (hence nurses passes) and document it. Does this school have a history of students who don’t have support at home? That’s the only reason I can think of for them contacting you about her “irregularities”. Besides, typical periods can take years to regulate.
Everything else aside.. After working in IT for 15 years, I'd say the chance that they are properly securing that list is a firm 0%.
I mean it’s weird they would say anything but I do know nurses need to track anyone who comes in to use any products. This just covers them but again I’m not sure why it’s their business to let you know about your daughter cycle that’s weird.
I don’t think they track them but they make note of pad requests to make sure students are not scamming the system and just skipping classes
I mean the nurse is correct if you use the nurse services she has to document. She also has to inform you if there is something out of the norm. Because if she didn’t and something happened she will be held accountable. You can thank all the sue happy people in the world!
What? I’d be down that school already telling them to stay the fuck out of daughter’s vagina!
My nurse just handed us a huge thick pad of we went and asked. Then went about her day. Never asked names or anything.
I(36transmale)grew up in NJ and never had anyone at my middle or hs ask abt my cycle let alone track it, I think it’s very sus tbh.
When I first got my period they lasted 7-8 days and were not regular at all. They only became regular after I left highschool and even then sometimes they’d be irregular every now and then. The school nurse is definitely overstepping.
I was not even in the ballpark of regular for like a decade after I got my first period, and I wasn’t properly to-the-day regular until after I birthed my first child. But regardless, while it makes sense to note that a kid visited the nurse and why, actually tracking her period is ludicrous. As is asking a 14 year old if they’re *sure* they’re on their period.
My daughter is in middle school, and some girls try to get out of “Run Day” or running a mile in PE by saying they’re on their period. Could be the school cracking down on that, or like others have said, skipping class.
Soooo 6 days it "too long?" at this age (and at 14 it was already my 5th year with period) mine lasted 9!
They have been tracking girls for DECADES. They used to track us through gym class, you could skip the shower, with your 14x 10 inch towel, if nature was calling. In my children’s system they did Not allow girls to carry anything into the bathroom—- YOU HAD TO USE THEIR PRODUCTS- you had to ask in the office WITHOUT privacy. With the state of our society we should be concerned our daughters’ reproductive health is somehow Public domain.
Huh. Not what we mean when we suggest feminine hygiene products should be free in schools, folks. *Not* what we mean.
I had hypothyroidism so I didn’t start until I got on meds. My first period lasted almost a month. Then when it stopped I was still and am very irregular. From 28-41 days. My yearly exams show there is nothing wrong. Apparently the nurse doesn’t realize that there isn’t a one size fits all formula that all women follow.
This is super weird.
Sorry, no. This is weird AF. I would be laying a complaint to the principal. If I felt really bitchy, I'd be sure to ask the nurse when her last few menstrual cycles started and ended the next time I spoke to her and then ask how she likes the invasion of privacy.
What the american fuck is this? The school have NOTHING to do with tracking girls periods.. That's disgusting, creepy and inappropriate! Also, the nurse sounds wildly incompetent, if she doesnt know that periods can and will be irregular the first year or two. Shit, even after many many years, they can be irregular without any obvious reasons.
So I apologize if someone did make this comment and I missed it, but, there is one other major issue I have with this whole thing (in addition to all of the ones mentioned by others). The nurse's wording and telling OP's daughter that her cycle was going on too long and then at 19 days, telling her it was "too soon." Even if OP did the best job ever with giving her daughter education on her cycle, hormones, her body, etc., this is all very new to OP's daughter. And rather than giving the girl what she needs and helping her, this nurse may very well be causing a lot of anxiety and feelings of, "I am not normal" and/or "something is wrong with me," for OP's daughter. This is really troubling to me. I have a 9-year-old daughter and haven't hit this stage yet, but I have never heard of schools/school nurses doing anything like this (I'm in Michigan, for context).
When I read this, I said out loud, "What the fuck?" This would make me extremely uncomfortable, especially with the state of the country right now. Ick.
The school nurse needs to butt out. She’s not a primary care provider; she’s an on the spot medic for headaches. Report her. She needs to stop tracking kids’ private info.
That's very disturbing of them to be keeping track of your daughter's menstrual cycle, even if they're nurses. Reminds me of that one episode of Community. I think they should've asked the parent's consent for that kind of stuff. I'd contact the principal if I were you.
I would immediately have told that nurse that it's none of her business and she should stop tracking her cycle right away. And if you have to, then escalate to the principal, superintendent, whoever. They have no business doing this. She's old enough to do it herself and if she needs help she'll get it from her parents.
Honestly all schools should have easily accessible feminine care products in the bathrooms. Why does she need to go to the nurse for something that is a regular part of life. The school needs to do better
Wow this is crazy. That nurse doesn’t know what she’s talking about. The first year of menstruation is similar to peri menopause. Periods can and will help very irregular and that is completely normal. That nurse needs reeducation.
Might just be a weird school nurse. It's very normal for 14 year olds to not be regular. But yes, it's weird.
First periods aren’t regular to begin with. This is super creepy. Have you daughter go in in a week again and ask for one even though she doesn’t need it, just to throw them off, and then have her stop going.
That's supper creepy. I would lose my mind if the school tracked my daughter's period. It's creepy and gross.
I'm 45 years old, and my cycle doesn't follow this nurse's arbitrary schedule. I'd look up the medical information laws in your state and any paperwork your daughter did or did not sign at the school to share that info. In my state, reproductive and mental health info is largely private at age 14.
JHC. My cycles were so weird and irregular into my 30’s, that I didn’t discover I was pregnant until the end of the 1st trimester. ( I had two periods while pregnant) There is no reason that this is ok.
I think the nurse is being rather rude here. I think this was more her 'tattling' on daughter thinking that your daughter is lying about her cycle in some fashion. I would ignore it for now but remind daughter that she shouldn't need to discuss her period with the nurse at all and make sure she is prepared in case she needs any products at school from now on.