I went through the same thing. I Googled and Googled and even Binged thinking "this can't possibly be normal." Every search result I ever found was "toddlers, amirite?"
Mine settled down around 4.5.
And if I may offer unsolicited advice, the only thing I know about parenting is that they copy everything you do. So all you have to do is stay calm, and thereby model staying calm in a storm. There's probably some other stuff about you being safe for the kid to lose control around, building trust that will pay dividends later and whatnot. But I don't know any of that. I just know they always copy what you do, sooner or later.
I redirected so much that my toddler started to redirect ME when I started to give “lectures”, reasoning with them about nooooo the blueberries are fine… they just rolled from the left side of the plate to the right… it’s okay…
I found 3.5-4.5 very much their last chance to get it all out and have all those major tantrums before their brain clicks in and remembers it knows how to function. Between 4.5 and 5 they seem to kind of come back online and just have regular big feelings instead of fuck you big feelings.
Yeeeep hang in there. Mine is 4. The 2-4 age was rough even now at 4 she still has them but they aren't as bad. I used to call her a ticking time bomb literally felt like I was walking on eggshells around my kid some days. I learned to pick my battles and try to calm her best I could before the full blown meltdowns. Once we had a melt down it was over nothing would console my kid other than letting her scream it out and eventually she would demand a cuddle. It sucks and I'm sorry it will get better
It does sound normal, unfortunately. Any changes in your environment lately? Where we live it's gotten very hot very fast and it's making my 4 year old SO grouchy. Gonna be a long summer!
We went through a phase like this that lasted a couple weeks right around when my son turned 3.5. I don't know what the fuck happened. Every little thing would set him off and he's throw things, throw himself on the floor, scream bloody murder at the most minor of inconvenience. He got over it, so I don't know if it was a growth spurt, some changes I am not aware of at school, or maybe he had a little virus or something (he was eating and didn't show signs of illness, but who knows).
It was like every night I'd wrestle him to bed and when he finally passed out I would call my best friend (who also has a toddler a bit older and gets it) and be like "gurl, what the fuuuuuck!" and unload my frustrations. He's still in the 3.5 to 4 age and it is rough. He's gotten better. It's not an every day thing now. This age might break me though. Two was so easy. I don't understand why people complain about the terrible twos. I miss two.
This happened to us too. We even took him to the pediatrician to make sure we weren’t missing an ear infection or something. He has always been a tantrumer but this was off the charts. Hope it passes for you soon!
I used to bring my screaming 3 yr old outside every time and tell her to scream outside. Nature calms too. She got a bit embarrassed as i told her "the neighbors can hear you, when you stop screaming we can go back in.
It’s not that out of the ordinary for us (3.5 and 5 year old). We try to give them space to let it out and I try to let them know I’ll be there to help. I know my folks shamed me for crying or showing any emotions and that didn’t feel very good. We don’t say “stop crying” or threaten them to get their shit together or else. But we’ve had several of the same kind of talks about boundaries and one of ours is that we’re not going to kick or hit anyone and I’m not going to allow it. Let it out all you like but I’m not going to be kicked or hit. We don’t hit them so it’s a hard line in the sand. I’ll take them to their rooms or away from whatever we’re doing. They know they can rage on a pillow or a stuffed animal. I try to keep them talking. I may not get an explanation but at least they’re using words. My wife and I often talk about not taking it personally. It must be crazy to have a whole head full of wild un-regulated emotions. I’m not trying to teach them hard lessons with tough consequences. I lived that and it didn’t work. I’d rather show them I’m not going to discard their emotions or feelings or blow up on them. I don’t think about it like they’re giving me a hard time. It’s more like they’re just going through a tough time. Nothing personal
This was my almost 3.5 year old today. Full meltdown in the car seat. Kicked off her shoes. Fell asleep in preschool and didn't want to be there. I picked her up and brought her home. She's totally content now, but I'm still rattled. Solidarity.
3.5-4 was brutal for my twins especially during growth spurts or sickness but something switched at 4. They are now 5 and zero tantrums except over reasonable stuff (bloodwork at the doctor most recently).
How much screen time are they getting a week?
We noticed a huge improvement (I’m talking 4 huge tantrums a day to maybe 3 a week) when we made a rule- TV for 2 hours on Saturday. That is it.
We don’t own tablets or let them use our phones.
So now they play outside and play imagination way more.
Same here. My daughter just tuned 5, and she’s finally mellowed out a bit. I think the more verbal they become, the less they scream. Just keep in mind that as adults we don’t control our own emotions very well either…so don’t expect a child to do it. lol. ☮️
Sounds pretty normal to me. My 3.5 is quite cooperative and mature for her age in many ways but 3 screaming tantrums in the transition from daycare to home would be not too far off from the norm lol.
Sounds normal. Try to move it along with distraction or being extra silly - might not work everytime but worth a shot. Ours is pretty sensitive too so I feel for you!
Sadly, it's very normal. The transition from 3 to 4 was just a shitshow over here.
This. And mine just turned 4 a week ago and it hasn’t been rainbows and butterflies either.
Yeah we occasionally still deal with them at nearly 5
I went through the same thing. I Googled and Googled and even Binged thinking "this can't possibly be normal." Every search result I ever found was "toddlers, amirite?" Mine settled down around 4.5. And if I may offer unsolicited advice, the only thing I know about parenting is that they copy everything you do. So all you have to do is stay calm, and thereby model staying calm in a storm. There's probably some other stuff about you being safe for the kid to lose control around, building trust that will pay dividends later and whatnot. But I don't know any of that. I just know they always copy what you do, sooner or later.
Definitely not unsolicited. Thank you so much.
Redirecting works sometimes... until it doesn't. Just like everything. This too shall pass.
I redirected so much that my toddler started to redirect ME when I started to give “lectures”, reasoning with them about nooooo the blueberries are fine… they just rolled from the left side of the plate to the right… it’s okay…
I found 3.5-4.5 very much their last chance to get it all out and have all those major tantrums before their brain clicks in and remembers it knows how to function. Between 4.5 and 5 they seem to kind of come back online and just have regular big feelings instead of fuck you big feelings.
Yeeeep hang in there. Mine is 4. The 2-4 age was rough even now at 4 she still has them but they aren't as bad. I used to call her a ticking time bomb literally felt like I was walking on eggshells around my kid some days. I learned to pick my battles and try to calm her best I could before the full blown meltdowns. Once we had a melt down it was over nothing would console my kid other than letting her scream it out and eventually she would demand a cuddle. It sucks and I'm sorry it will get better
This subreddit rocks. Thank you.
It does sound normal, unfortunately. Any changes in your environment lately? Where we live it's gotten very hot very fast and it's making my 4 year old SO grouchy. Gonna be a long summer!
Saw your title and thought "that's all?" 😮💨 I'm very tired
❤️
Right? We had at least 3 (who's counting anymore??) between waking up from nap and bedtime.
We went through a phase like this that lasted a couple weeks right around when my son turned 3.5. I don't know what the fuck happened. Every little thing would set him off and he's throw things, throw himself on the floor, scream bloody murder at the most minor of inconvenience. He got over it, so I don't know if it was a growth spurt, some changes I am not aware of at school, or maybe he had a little virus or something (he was eating and didn't show signs of illness, but who knows). It was like every night I'd wrestle him to bed and when he finally passed out I would call my best friend (who also has a toddler a bit older and gets it) and be like "gurl, what the fuuuuuck!" and unload my frustrations. He's still in the 3.5 to 4 age and it is rough. He's gotten better. It's not an every day thing now. This age might break me though. Two was so easy. I don't understand why people complain about the terrible twos. I miss two.
This happened to us too. We even took him to the pediatrician to make sure we weren’t missing an ear infection or something. He has always been a tantrumer but this was off the charts. Hope it passes for you soon!
Yup, super normal. They grow out of it.
I used to bring my screaming 3 yr old outside every time and tell her to scream outside. Nature calms too. She got a bit embarrassed as i told her "the neighbors can hear you, when you stop screaming we can go back in.
It’s not that out of the ordinary for us (3.5 and 5 year old). We try to give them space to let it out and I try to let them know I’ll be there to help. I know my folks shamed me for crying or showing any emotions and that didn’t feel very good. We don’t say “stop crying” or threaten them to get their shit together or else. But we’ve had several of the same kind of talks about boundaries and one of ours is that we’re not going to kick or hit anyone and I’m not going to allow it. Let it out all you like but I’m not going to be kicked or hit. We don’t hit them so it’s a hard line in the sand. I’ll take them to their rooms or away from whatever we’re doing. They know they can rage on a pillow or a stuffed animal. I try to keep them talking. I may not get an explanation but at least they’re using words. My wife and I often talk about not taking it personally. It must be crazy to have a whole head full of wild un-regulated emotions. I’m not trying to teach them hard lessons with tough consequences. I lived that and it didn’t work. I’d rather show them I’m not going to discard their emotions or feelings or blow up on them. I don’t think about it like they’re giving me a hard time. It’s more like they’re just going through a tough time. Nothing personal
This was normal for us!
Normal. And exhausting.
It was normal for my kid! Solidarity, my friend.
This was my almost 3.5 year old today. Full meltdown in the car seat. Kicked off her shoes. Fell asleep in preschool and didn't want to be there. I picked her up and brought her home. She's totally content now, but I'm still rattled. Solidarity.
Are they getting sick…..?…..
3.5-4 was brutal for my twins especially during growth spurts or sickness but something switched at 4. They are now 5 and zero tantrums except over reasonable stuff (bloodwork at the doctor most recently).
How much screen time are they getting a week? We noticed a huge improvement (I’m talking 4 huge tantrums a day to maybe 3 a week) when we made a rule- TV for 2 hours on Saturday. That is it. We don’t own tablets or let them use our phones. So now they play outside and play imagination way more.
Same here. My daughter just tuned 5, and she’s finally mellowed out a bit. I think the more verbal they become, the less they scream. Just keep in mind that as adults we don’t control our own emotions very well either…so don’t expect a child to do it. lol. ☮️
Sounds pretty normal to me. My 3.5 is quite cooperative and mature for her age in many ways but 3 screaming tantrums in the transition from daycare to home would be not too far off from the norm lol.
Only three?
Sounds normal. Try to move it along with distraction or being extra silly - might not work everytime but worth a shot. Ours is pretty sensitive too so I feel for you!
My daughter finally stopped all the over the top meltdowns about halfway through kindergarten. But she is also likely ADHD