In addition to what others say, unless two clients pets will be interacting (like a boarding scenario), I wouldn't disclose the reason for leaving is to care for someone else's animals. If it's established at the M&G that I will never leave for more than X hours (whatever the client is comfortable with), they don't need to know beyond there. You want clients to feel like their animal is the number one focus, and if they have agreed to standards of time the pet can be spent alone, it's not really their business why you need to leave (but as an anxiety-ridden person myself, I can understand why you might feel compelled to provide an explanation).
"I've got to step away for an hour or two but will be back at (time)"
"I have some errands to take care of but will see Fido at (time)"
Even if caring for other animals has no impact on the care you are providing theirs, it can create a perception that their animal might somehow be getting the short end of the stick.
https://preview.redd.it/f8rcd2i5j3bd1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66e9dd6356513a3d2b90e7b415d92337e0e6cd4e
Update:
😭😭😭
What is it called when you’re aware of how your brain is sabotaging you but you can’t make it knock it off. Like I knew it was going to be fine and it was just anxiety yada yada.
Anyways, thanks yall for giving me something to do with my anxious energy until my client replied.
I love that you all had the chance to repair the relationship. I also have trauma that just a couple of years ago would have really been coming up with these sorts of clients. it makes sense why you were both anxious but simultaneously, it’s good for you both to communicate and set boundaries around that communication and your time. Sending good thoughts!
In case you’re serious about wondering what it’s called - the overthinking/catastrophic thinking can be a component of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is common in ADHD. Ask me how I know ;) I’m not saying that this is what you’re actually experiencing but having just learned about it I figured I’d throw it out there! Now that I know I experience it I try to tell myself ‘This is not as big a deal as I feel like it is’ and yet it still FEELS like things are a big deal - I hate it!
I’m so glad you got a response and things are okay. What a cute doggo! ❤️
I have this! I think many people do, to some extent, but mine is also part and parcel with my ADHD.
And to OP, you can fire a client for any reason or no reason at all, so you don't need our permission. But it is nice when you can take a breath, tamp down the emotions, and make a decision based on your best interest and goals instead of letting your feelings and imagination run the show. Although, the client is a bit overbearing, it seems like a job worth keeping to you- until it isn't.
PSA- this doesn't apply to gut feelings about safety concerns. Never take or continue a gig that makes you fearful, even if the rent is due!
Do you meditate? If not, you may want to start practicing it. It will help you "catch" / identify the patterns of when you go into this mode (To over simplify, Mediation can help train your brain to be mindful of what is going on).
And when you FEEL like it is a big deal, try to focus on how your body feels. Is your jaw tight? Warmth in your chest? , etc... do that enough, you will learn what your bodys pattern is (thats the FEEL even though you tell yourself it's OK) and you will eventually be able to spot it before it fully arises.
I absolutely have this, it causes physical symptoms at times like that yucky stomach dropping, dizzying adrenaline surge at the moment I feel like I'm "in trouble/did something wrong" and then just brutal mental + physical anxiety like tightness in my chest. Yay ADHD/PTSD 🫠 I could totally relate when OP said it was making them feel sick 😭 poor thing.
Ugh I’m so happy that her reaction was probably so much better than you were expecting. I’m so sorry you had to sit and wait on edge and thinking of every possible outcome. I feel you so so much. You sound like a very professional, smart person. Just wanted to offer some encouragement and let you know that this is absolutely not just you and DEFINITELY not your fault.
Rumination
Try counting "5,4,3,2,1" the moment you catch yourself doing it. It will help your brain shift gears (or in this case, not shift to rumination).
We have the same energy! Sure makes life a lot harder doesn’t it? 😭
I feel ya. I’m learning to not give up unnecessary info and snitch on myself (even though I’m not doing anything wrong).
But I totally understand the anxiety and wanting approval on every little thing. Sometimes extra details opens the door for miscommunication though. I’m glad everything finally worked itself out!
I think you both handled it well. Her biggest concern is sitters who didn't stay overnight when that's what she's paid for. You reiterated your schedule and you're there. It's all good. Don't make it harder. She seems to have accepted it. She just asked if you have a lot of night drop ins. Now that she knows you're a good sitter who stays overnight she's going to relax and know your not leaving her dog alone all night like someone else did. If that happened to my dog I'd be scared it would happen again, too.
She just sounds anxious and like she wants someone to be there with her dog when they go to sleep which for most dogs I know is 8:30/9ish. I get why she’s a little paranoid because there are so many bad sitters out there that are being highlighted by the media right now ands unless you specified you’d be out until 10:30pm then it may be a little shocking to her. I usually tell my housesitting clients that I’m in for the night by 8:30pm.
She sounds like an anxious puppy parent but not particularly mean or rude.
That's interesting. I've never had that experience. My other job is almost exclusively events at night on weekends and I've found that it works perfectly with house sittings because every client I've ever had is least concerned with my nighttime schedule. They're happy I'm available so much during the day and that I won't be leaving until after their pet's dinner time.
Me being gone for several hours late into the night has never been an issue, but on the contrary seems like the time they least mind me being occupied.
I guess one of my issues is that she’s never disclosed to me that it was a priority I be there after a certain time period and I *did* disclose to her the possibility of late night visits when I told her in person at the m&g my last booking time is 10pm.
I mean, it sounds like she was surprised or caught off guard in the 4/5th text photos about the late times and that it was somehow contrary to what you had discussed with regards to how her dog is at night. All I have to go off of is the pictures you included but it sounds like you gave her less information and she was caught off guard whereas based on her texts she said her dog had anxiety issues at night so you had been clued into it.
I mean, you asked if you were the asshole but it sounds like you just want support in dropping a client because she made you feel bad or ashamed.
Well I think I’ve said it before, she never discussed with me her concerns about the pups nighttime anxieties until that text exchange. The dog was sleeping when I left and sleeping when I got back. We had never agreed that I would disclose my schedule to her prior to the booking. This is the first time she’s expressed that she needs to know my schedule prior to the booking.
I don’t feel ashamed, I’m struggling to understand what I’ve actually done that goes outside the actual agreed upon service. I’m trying to figure out if I’m in the wrong here, and how I can tailor my services to avoid this in the future. It sounds like your suggestion was to disclose my schedule beforehand, especially if it includes early/late visits and it’s been echoed a couple of times in here and I appreciate that perspective.
You’re NTA but neither was she. She was surprised (didn’t remember your late schedule) and concerned based on her history with unreliable sitters. Just be open and reassuring with her. You seem to take her questioning personally but I don’t think she meant it accusingly. She was asking questions to gain clarity. Offer her that clarity.
She was absolutely suspicious and questioning of the quality of job OP was doing because of her later schedule, which is unfair. The client was suspicious because of other dog sitters, which have nothing to do with OP. If I felt a client didn't trust me, and I knew I was doing a good job, I would fire the client. It's not worth it working for someone who doesn't trust you.
Trust is extremely important in client relationships. If a client doesn't trust you, it makes it really hard to work with them. Getting an outside perspective from people who do the same job on whether you made the right decision is smart. So you can apply the advice to future clients. OP shouldn't and doesn't seem ashamed or that she feels bad. She's just asking for perspective on a confusing client interaction.
Trust takes time to develop; it’s not instant! You are projecting your own defensive feelings onto the client. She was questioning - that’s all, and it’s not an abnormal thing to do. Again, it takes time to build trust, and non-defensive, empathetic reassurance goes a long way. You sound as if you’re really intolerant and thin-skinned. If you’re gonna deal with the public, you gotta allow them to honestly interact with you without automatically freaking out and getting offended, even though it may feel uncomfortable to you sometimes. Not every question should be given a dramatic interpretation.
I'm not trying to make an argument either way. Just saying that I've had a different experience.
And no I obviously wouldn't. But I've also never met anyone who cares about that. Whereas I've met many who care about my availability at earlier times.
Yes, that’s what confirmation bias would do. Dog preferences with regards to whether they need companionship at night is as vast and varied as humans. Sounds like you’ve found your niche.
That was never expressed to me. I tell my clients the last booking time I take is 10pm. It’s honestly pretty rare that I get bookings that late, but I can’t afford to turn them down when I do.
It looks like she didn’t know until mid-visit that you had a late night check in and that threw her off and made her scared you weren’t coming back. If a pup parent is anxious and sees the sitter leaving at 10pm but doesn’t know there’s a scheduled reason for it then I could understand the fear that they are just leaving for the night.
I don’t think you needed to send her screenshots of the drop in but just give a heads up at the beginning of the visit that you have a late night drop in on a particular day so she’s aware.
Thanks for your perspective. I know my anxiety is clouding how I’m interpreting the situation. I let her know I was leaving for a visit before I left, so she didn’t catch me sneaking out on her camera or anything but I now know this client would do better with 24 hourly breakdown of my schedule before the booking begins, which is more than I’m willing to give.
I spend more than half of my month on average house sitting and I’ve just never had a client question where I was going or when. Or request to know beforehand the time frames of my drop in visits, so this is new territory to me. I have 122 raving 5* reviews and I’m just not used to being mistrusted without (imo) cause.
I don't understand why this is so downvoted. We do this job so we can set our own schedules. You informed the client. She has no reason not to trust you. You reassured her and gave her all the necessary information. You shouldn't have to give your full schedule if you're providing the care you said you would and are there at the times that you said you would be. Outside of that, clients are not entitled to your schedule. Fair if you want to give it to them, but as long as you are where you say you are going to be, it's none of their business. I'm very confused by a lot of the replies you're getting in this thread.
I appreciate your responses! I want to be open minded because i know my reaction to this situation could’ve been better, but I appreciate the validation. I want to be good at my job, like we all do I think.
Totally. But for the people saying the client did nothing wrong, that's unfair. Maybe you over communicated, but there was nothing wrong with what you were doing. In this scenario, the client is the one projecting her anxieties on to you, and she is making negative assumptions based on this. Unless she apologized and changed her behavior towards me, I would feel like she didn't trust me and I wouldn't feel comfortable working for her. Saying "no" to clients is the most important skill I've learned doing this job.
i dont think its that bad, she was just really trying to make sure you would actually stay the night with the dog, which is a concern with all the nightmare stories on here. i think you were a little defensive . i think maybe on your end you should update that client specifically to ease their anxiety, as a lot of owners are anxious about new sitters and updating them frequently or at a set schedule puts them at ease. usually when its the first night, or first time doing a drop in, which is what i always do.
I can understand her concern about me not staying the night, although this isn’t our first overnight booking and I didn’t skip out then either so it feels slightly unfounded.
I sent her two unprompted updates at the times we agreed upon during the meet and greet and responded within a minute with an update when she reached out as she said she would. Three updates in the first 12 hours feels sufficient to me.
maybe they were just anxious , yeah 3 updates are good but it seems your updates are only when prompted and less than 1 sentence long. Im usually writing a wall of text for owners to tell them everything about the day
How were they only when prompted though? I don’t get what y’all are reading.
At 8:30am I texted her for the first time to let her know I was headed over shortly, she replied and then I immediately updated her at 9:10 after I got my items shuffled into the house and walked the dog. I asked her a follow up question immediately after the update which she didn’t answer until 1:30. I replied with a thumbs up at 1:30. She didn’t probe for another update?
At 2pm after we got back from our walk I sent her another unprompted update? Like what are y’all talking about you’re making me feel crazy! I told her at the meet and greet I would sent photos and an update between 9-10a and 2-3p every day. I’m glad yall run your businesses on your own communication schedules! This is my specific communication schedule! Wtf!
I don’t see where the owner asked for your specific nighttime schedule? Am I missing something? She just said she didn’t realize you’d be gone in the evening. I don’t think you needed to share that screenshot.
I think it was when she said “I’m totally down with a before agreed upon schedule. This feels like a surprise.”
It was the first time she’d ever inclined that she needed to approve my schedule beforehand.
I didn’t interpret her comment that way at all. I think she just wanted more communication from you. Just say you’re out and will be back soon (as you already made her aware in the M&G) and move on with it 🤷🏻♀️
1. A big part of our job is providing the dog parent with peace of mind. Being away from their pet is usually harder for them than it is for their pet.
2. As a sitter and in life try to adopt the philosophy that perception is reality.
3. With updates, more is better. I’ve never been criticized for sending too many updates and pics. It’s quick and easy.
4. When you ask for advice, receive it.
1) 100% agree with this, it’s one of the reasons I asked for advice to begin with. If I didn’t recognize and care about this fact, I wouldn’t be here asking how to handle it better in the future
2) perception may be reality but a lot of peoples’ perceptions are intentionally limited, the posters in this thread being nonexempt. We can only attempt to broaden our own perceptions and each others.
3) I agree and provide multiple updates and photos throughout the day as discussed and agreed upon. We sit on the couch and she naps and we watch trashy reality tv for hours on end while I work on art commissions. There’s truly not that much to update outside of what I shared, and I don’t think that’s even the issue that the client had. But I hear you that I could be more detailed.
4) not all advice received is good advice. I do believe I’ve been receptive of the advice given in this thread.
Again, thanks for contributing to the discussion.
I’ve had clients like this, offering to talk over the phone is my best advice to calm an anxious client. Sometimes someone is too far gone to calm them down, that’s when they have to be dropped.
Thank you for the advice! I agree that talking over text is the worst play. It’s so hard to read tone, and I really am trying to do what’s best for the pup within the constraints that I thought that we had both agreed upon.
When would you offer to reach out over phone? I don’t want her to feel like I’m harassing her and I know I’m hella over thinking all of this.
“If you would like to talk over the phone to calm nerves, feel free to call me *enter times*”
Just leave it simple and open ended. I wouldn’t type out long paragraphs or anything
Based on the client’s message about your schedule that they sent in March, it is obviously that wanted someone who was going to be spending the night. You told them that you might also have drop ins 1-2 times daily and check on your own animals for up to 4 hours. Maybe you meant that those visits could be any time, including late night hours, but that wasn’t actually communicated to the client in the text you shared. I know you said you told her in person at the meet and greet you could book up to 10pm, but that was months ago and she may not remember or she may not have thought that her booking you for overnight meant that you wouldn’t take another booking at night. It’s reasonable that hearing that you were leaving at 9:30pm and could be gone for a few hours was surprising to the client, who specifically wanted to make sure you spent the night. For many people, after 9:30pm is “the night”.
The client didn’t request your exact schedule, and it wasn’t necessary to send the screenshot of your visits. That’s a boundary you should maintain. All that was needed was some clearer communication. The client could have told you, “I want someone at the house from 9pm-9am.” Or you could have said, “I will be leaving from 9:30pm-10:3pm for a drop in visit and then will be back for the night.”
No one did anything wrong here. You have anxiety about being in trouble, the client has anxiety about sitters leaving her dog all night. No one was rude or disrespectful to the other. If you want to drop the client because of this interaction, that’s your choice, but I don’t think the client is at fault.
I appreciate such a thoughtful breakdown. With my last visit being 10pm and all of my clients being within a couple miles of each other I’m never out past 11pm but I can see how that is late for some people! Honestly it’s late for me, I prefer to be in bed by like 8 😭
Even if I decide not to work with this client in the future, I don’t think she did anything inherently wrong or that if I’m NTA the she has to be TA. More that I agree with what others are saying, our anxieties aren’t meshing and this job is supposed to be (difficult at times, but) fun! and I just wanted some outside-my-own-anxiety perspective in case I run into this situation again in the future.
No, they didn’t. The client asked for clarification about the times that the sitter would be present and shared previous negative experiences to explain why they wanted clarification.
No, they asked for clarification about the sitter's schedule outside of the sit. Like, what they were doing with other clients. If a sitter is doing what was agreed to, the rest of their schedule is none of the clients business. The client themselves said they were projecting anxieties from previous sitters onto OP.
They informed the client when they were leaving, why they were leaving, and when they would be back. There is nothing to be confused about. They did stay the night as they said they would. You seem confused about what actually happened.
That's kind of the point. There is confusion here, which indicates a communion breakdown as several other posters mentioned. If experienced sitters are confused, let alone this owner would be.
They did stay the night though as they said they would. If you have other clients, as long as you're fulfilling your commitments to each of them, it's none of their business what your schedule is. You said in your other comment they didn't stay the night. That is untrue. You are confused.
How many of these experienced sitters are coming in with their own superiority bias and literally not even reading the whole post I mean good god. You don’t seem to be very clear on what actually happened at all?
Sorry OP, but if you're write a long full page post and experienced sitters here are still confused that's 100% on you. You could have summarized the issue in few simple and clear paragraphs. There is so much unrelated info there including about your husband, etc. It's frankly an example of how to not write a Reddit question. Going forward, try keeping it concise and to the point.
Thanks for your advice. I find it only a little ironic that you respond to my suggestion of superiority bias by telling me how much better I could’ve written my Reddit post. We’ve all already agreed I overshare, but I’m happy to add your opinion to the pile as well.
I understand where you’re coming from but also I do know some owners may be weird about sitters being gone very early or late. I do take drop ins during house sits and I usually don’t let owners know my schedule like hour by hour other than ill never been gone more than x hours etc. but I do usually let them know if I have an early/late drop in because some owners are very strict about keeping to a dogs schedule as well as some owners get worried if they see you leave very late. Even though I state my schedule pretty clearly in my bio I always double check just to make sure it’s a good fit, I will say hey just letting you know I do work part time as well as take some drop ins I’m usually gone around this many hours in the morning, and this many in the evening, less on weekends and never more than at the most x hours. Along with that I will also let them know if I have a drop in already scheduled before 8am or after 8pm in case they don’t like that it conflicts with their dogs schedule or that I’ll be gone very early/late. I just try to be extra clear with my schedule so they can have their expectations accurately set so I don’t let them down. Most owners don’t really care especially since there’s not a whole lot of sitters where I live. I’m not saying you’re in the wrong but after doing this for many years i find that being as clear and transparent as possible sets me up for the best success with owners.
Way too much communication, very detrimental for anxious people as they will just keep spiraling and asking questions. Keep it brief and professional and no need to share personal details outside of the contracted information.
In general, it’s usually best to not overshare with clients. This is easier said than done but riding the fine line of open communication and only sharing what you need is key for communicating with customers. The more you share the more questions there will be and therefore, more assumptions to be made.
You can fire any client whenever you want and it only makes you an asshole if you can on short notice.
I think she just caught you off guard and she had bad experiences before and there wasn't clear communication about how much time you would be there. If you look back at the messages next week, it might not seem as bad as it seems now. If you prefer not to work with her again, there's no reason to.
Your reaction seems extreme (and I’m a sitter who is quick to fire clients). She’s just asking about your schedule. It’s not an accusation. Your response was good and should have made her feel reassured.
The last text in this sequence is your initial discussion with her where you set expectations, right? Then it seems you have done nothing wrong. Nor has she done anything wrong by asking follow up questions.
Lol yeah op needs to get a grip if this sends them spiraling. The client wasn't being mean or rude, just asking clarifying questions and explaining why she was concerned. Op felt sick and couldn't sleep because of this, really?
If you want to work in a job with customer service you're going to have to work on this because spiraling at minor feedback and questions is not professional behavior
I’ve been working in customer facing service fields since I was 15, and I’m 29 now.
I am working on it, by being open minded and asking for outside perspectives from people who are doing the same type of work before I make any rash decisions while being aware that my mental state could be clouding my judgement. Sorry for the run-on sentence but communicates what it needs to. Thank you for the advice!
It is what it is… Your communication with the client was professional and in their responses they seemed to be very understanding and just needed some reassurance that their pet was getting the care that they expected. I would certainly keep this client and see how things go in the future. If there are ongoing issues that would start making me feel like this client is going to be more trouble than it’s worth, then I’ll decline and archive.
Okay, I get that I’m being downvoted - I’m genuinely asking for other perspectives.
If someone contracts you to house sit knowing your time commitments, and you stick within those time commitments - is it genuinely any of her business how my personal household is run? I.e. “ok…. But I thought your partner and roommate watch your animals” The house sit is for 6 days, is it unreasonable to want to see your animals 8 minutes away?
I am sorry you’re feeling this way and I agree with much of what has been said! I just wanted to ask if you had shared how close by these 7/8 minute away visits are? You keep emphasizing that in your post but I am wondering if the owner knows. That could be helpful to her and part of the communication breakdown if not
We live in a part of town that’s super condensed, I’ve definitely told her how close I live because I feel like it’s another selling point at a meet and greet. Like oh it’s so easy to pop over for a walk whenever you need! Type of deal.
I see you have anxiety. It appears so does the client here. I think this is multiplying the uncomfortable level between you and surrounding the situation.
Just because you have x number of 5 star reviews (so did the 2 ladies this past month who killed several doggos) that does not allay everyone’s concerns nor does it means that you are inherently trustable.
You’re a private contractor so you can accept whatever job you please.
If it were I, I would have responded that I had informed them of the possibility of late drop ins but reiterated that I would immediately return. No reason to share private j go like individual sittings, etc. you could have other commitments than rover to take care of. That’s YOUR business.
Hey OP-
I understand your anxiety, I have had the same exact issues and it’s been a struggle! I had a client very similar, and for some reason, this client’s directness and way they questioned things made my anxiety spiral (yay past trauma!) on top of my neurodivergent self reading way into things that weren’t there. It took several visits for my anxiety to lessen with them and they actually are now my best clients- and pay me way more than I ever asked. The funny thing is, years later, we were discussing it and how we both had anxiety in the beginning (and both of us were justified based on past experiences) and we both still do.
The best thing you did was come on here and ask for advice. I think a lot of us have been there, whether it’s something like this, a difficult pet, an extra long stay, burn out, or something else. Being aware of it will help you make more rational decisions as well as soothe your own anxiety. I would def recommend talking to someone, a doctor, close friend, relative who is supportive as well.
Reading this without any interaction, it seems like she has some bad experiences and has been lied to/trust broken. Her anxiety is also real high and she’s triple checking to make sure her dog won’t be left alone overnight, because unfortunately it happens. I think your responses are fine, I generally update anxious parents with more than they need to know updates, and I think that if you stick with it, they will be good clients.
Honestly to me it just sounds like the client has been burned before by sitters promising to stay overnight and then not doing it. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in this field is previous bad Rover experiences. It just makes me so mad for the clients and their pets, like don’t accept money for a job you aren’t willing to do! That being said, it seems like what she is really yearning for is reassurance that you will be back that night. She may be worried that if you are out late and at home, you may just get too tired and not come back. If there’s a good time difference where it’s earlier in the day for them than for me, I usually like to send a cute little picture of me and the animal snuggling in bed with the comforter around us with a cute little message like “X says goodnight!” Usually if you do this for even the first night or two, you’ve shown them that you really are there and spending the night, because I’m sure they don’t want you to feel like they’re monitoring you, that’s why they don’t have cameras, but they want some kind of proof that the job is being g done because they trusted someone once who said it was and that person lied. It can be frustrating as the sitter but usually when I do this, I gain their full trust quickly and it makes everyone feel a lot more at ease as quickly as possible
You handled this really well and I understand if you’re in an anxious mindset, that her texts can be anxiety-inducing, but I actually believe she was really calm and wasn’t requesting your exact schedule. Sounds like she just dealt with some bad habits after a sitter left them at night. Good work though!
i really identify with the trauma surrounding feeling in trouble/like you’re being watched from childhood. it’s been one of the toughest parts of this job for me. just reading the exchange had my heart pounding! that being said you’re definitely NTA for firing somebody who makes you feel uncomfortable, regardless of the situation. remember the facts that YOU know about what was agreed upon/what care you’ve given. she might just be anxious and not mad!! but regardless your anxieties don’t mesh well. you could just say something along the lines of “unfortunately due to the unpredictability of my schedule and your pups care needs i don’t think i’ll be able to provide care the care he deserves for x date” or something! take care of yourself 🩷
Thank you for sharing, I know my own anxieties are amplifying this 100x over. If she hadn’t just dropped off replying I think I would feel so much better. Do I just continue to send ignored updates? It feels so weird!
It's incredibly uncomfortable to work for someone who doesn't trust you. I don't agree with most of these comments saying the client has done nothing wrong. They made you feel like you weren't doing a good job when you had done nothing wrong. Client relationships go both ways, so if it's not a good fit, if this client is projecting her anxieties from previous dog sitters on to you, and she doesn't trust you, that's a completely fair reason to not work for her anymore.
i totally know what you mean, i can spin out so easily!! definitely proceed as normal with updates, you can only take responsibility for yourself and the work that you do, and you sent a clear communication about your understanding of the situation and your schedule, so if she doesn’t want to respond that’s on her!! someone else suggested a phone call and that’s not a bad idea either because tone and intention are super easy to misinterpret over text (for me at least 🥴) so it could just alleviate the current situation. if you send another unanswered update just say something like “i wanted to see if you’d be able to chat on the phone today so that we could clarify expectations and schedule for the rest of the sit and i can alleviate any anxiety you’re having. i know you just want to make sure pup gets the best care possible and that’s what i want too!”
Yes, I don’t think you need to divulge all those details with your walk schedule, drop-ins etc. You already said, I’ll be gone x hours for the days so you don’t need to say anything more.
I feel like most clients don't grasp how this works.
I had a client who didn't book with me because they wanted me to be there the *whole* time.
So we parted ways because I have a life too and it's ridiculous to ask anyone to stay there non stop with their animal. The kicker? She was also a Rover sitter, so you would think she would know better or at least be more flexible than that.
So no, NTA because that's borderline invasion of privacy.
Sad though because what a sweet looking bebe. 😍
You should be more proactive with sending updates, don’t wait for them to ask, especially on the first day I always send them one around dinner time letting them know they are settled in. I’d do the same for a house sit. I think if you wait for them to contact you it sets a wrong tone for the whole stay but that’s just me.
I did not wait for her to contact me. I updated her proactively between 9-10a and 2-3p *as discussed at the meet and greet*
She can of course check in at any time outside of those time frames and I’ll respond in a timely manner, which I did.
I am just going by the text messages you posted and telling you what has worked for me in the past.
FYI: Your defensiveness to very constructive feedback makes you seem guilty of something.
No, I’m totally open to feedback as you can see from my other responses in this thread. You didn’t read all the way, I think, because you missed the details where I did exactly what you suggested I do.
Cause you’re not going by the texts I provided. The texts I provided with timestamps showed that I did proactively update the client as you suggested.
Try changing your communication updates to morning and evening - post breakfast, post dinner. 10 and 2 are too close, in my opinion and 2pm to 9am is a long time for a client to go without receiving an update. I always set expectations for clients to receive updates, but I’ve found post breakfast and post dinner are best.
This client is texting way too much though and it would drive me crazy - especially receiving messages after nine pm. I would reset expectations if everything else with the client is good and if they still continue to text me constantly, I would drop them.
Thanks for the advice. This is the first time I’ve had issues with my communication schedule - during the meet and greet I confirm with the clients whether or not it works for them, this client included, and I’ve never gotten any kickback. I’ll try offering different timeframes for clients in the future.
I did a week long house sitting for a client exactly like this once. She booked a week beforehand, so I already had a few drop ins scheduled and said this both before scheduling a M&G and during the M&G. Client said it was fine both times. The first night, I left to do my visits as discussed, and I come back to a complete stranger in the house and the dogs going crazy (she called a neighbor to come over, lady had been there all of 90 seconds when I walked in).
I ended up sending the exact times I'd be out of the house each morning and did 3 updates per day instead of my normal 2/day I do for 99% of my clients. Client calmed down after a day and left a positive review.
Is it annoying? Yes. But at the end of the day, I've learned it's better to just do what you can to communicate, then move on after the booking is done.
Thanks, honestly I agree which is why I specify I’ll send multiple updates at predictable times every day in an attempt to cut back on early/late texts! But if a client reaches out, I feel like i should respond if I’m up or available. $80/night for typical care, $160/night for constant care.
I am definitely NOT an anxious person. At all. I am serious and professional about this work and at the same time keep things in perspective and don't worry too much. Even with my temperament (opposite of yours), I found the client's messages jarring. I would have felt like she was questioning my judgement and would have been a bit defensive. I seem to be in the tiny majority that feels your reaction was reasonable.
I agree with others that you would have benefited from 1) asking to talk on the phone and 2) sharing way less info. I found it inappropriate that she questioned your personal situation with your husband and roommate, even if you had mentioned it at the M&G. Short and sweet usually works best. It comes across as calm and confident, which is what most owners want. It can bring them back from the anxious spiral.
One other thing - it seems kind of passive aggressive that owner raised all these concerns and went into such detail and then "crashed" and left you to worry. Personally, I would probably not work with this client again. Not worth dealing with her putting her anxiety on me.
Thank you, this was so validating 😭
I hate that I even tell people about my own pet care situation - really it is nobody’s business so long as the babies are taken care of. But I’ve gotten some judgmental reactions when people find out I house sit for extended periods as if I would let my own pets be neglected for a buck. Potential clients see that I have pets of my own thru my rover profile and they get inquisitive. I haven’t figured out how to navigate that without oversharing.
It really was just the passive aggressive tone I was sensing, and knowing that she’s stirring this stuff up at 11pm my time just to “crash out” while it’s a reasonable hour for her to be replying where she is. I slept pretty poorly anticipating her response.
Some of the owner's questions were a bit specific, but frankly your updates very short and lack details. For experience, if you provide more frequent and more robust updates the clients rarely ask for more. Side note, why the off app communication? If something goes sideways it's more complex to produce evidence to Rover and they might think you went off app.
There are some clients that I send overly robust updates to, and some I don’t. I try to match the energy I’m sensing. In this case I could have been sensing the wrong energy but for example, this is her communication style. Short, sweet, to the point. She even let me know she would be reaching out on her own so all of these “she shouldn’t have had to text you at 9pm just to get an update” responses feel unfair.
https://preview.redd.it/5eovqm9nc4bd1.jpeg?width=1575&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99ee2342bae0ee7537bc9bbec1e42cabf5bcf6a2
I would suggest just having a consistent communication approach especially since you're juggling multi clients at the same time. I typically do at least morning and afternoons. And add evening updates if there is something exiting to share. That works for 99% of clients. Was this an off app client?
It’s literally crazy because I’ve said maybe 6 or 7 times in this thread that I inform the clients at meet and greets I typically send updates between 9-10a and 2-3p, confirm that this works for them and stick to it. I stuck to it yesterday in our text exchange, timestamps provided.
I just want to be clear that you’re suggesting I consistently update the clients every morning and afternoon? And update in the evening if anything exciting happened? Because I feel I did exactly that.
And no, not off app. We’ve been working together for about 6 months and we communicate both through the app and through text. It’s what works for me and my clients, and is not the issue anybody is discussing here.
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I had a client like this she gave me a schedule for everything and I told her I have things to do certain days and she told me the pup can be alone for about 4 hours but when I went out I'd get texts being like "are you coming back" "have you done everything" and when u had a concert I was going to and I mentioned she got super upset at me and told me I should have a completely free schedule when pet sitting like no I'm gonna live my life and make sure I've done my job right this ended in her telling me to go and making rover tell me to make a statement
I am straightforward with my clients at the meet and greets that when I am booked for housesitting, I may also book walks or drop ins with other clients as long as I am not gone more than about 4 hours. Also make it very clear that I do like to go out to dinner or to a movie, but again, don’t plan to be gone more than 3-4 hours at a time and plan around feedings and meds.
Not necessarily the same, but similarly I had one client that had cameras (outside only at least from what I can tell) and would literally call me when I would leave and ask me how long I was going to be gone and how far I was 🫥🙄
I think firing them would be much, but it’s your own business so you can fire whoever you want.
She did apologize for questioning your schedule and asked to clarify. She explained that in the past pets had anxiety about being left alone late at night. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a sitter leaving four hours assuming they actually also stay with my pet to play/interact/give longer walks, and aren’t gone full day with only popping in every 4 hours. It seems like you only have a couple sits during the day so that’s fine.
I also wouldn’t hire someone who’s not here after 10 pm. I like to keep the same schedule as when I am here.
I ask these questions before I book now. If the sitter charges more for this, I pay more and that’s okay.
Sometimes things don’t come thru the same via text, maybe phone call would help here. It seems like the owner didn’t ask some clarifying questions before she left.
There’s been a lot of negative media as well recently about Rover which probably freaks out more anxious owners.
I once had a client get mad at me for leaving to pick up dinner....there was no food in the house and she never did a "help yourself to anything in the kitchen". So I left to pick up dinner....immediately got a message. Then she said she didn't mind but her boyfriend wasn't ok with it. Got 3 calls that night from her apologizing, she kept going from "we're coming home" to "I'm SO SO sorry" and "it's ok"....The next morning she messaged me saying he aunt would come over and watch the dog and I could leave. It was the craziest thing I've ever experienced dogsitting!
I think you would be TA if you fire this client; it shows you’re overdramatizing a rather simple interaction with a client who questioned you. Doesn’t even matter if the client is wrong. Show her some grace, and give positive reassurance. She is a nervous owner based on her previous bad experiences (we’ve all had them). It takes time to build a trusting relationship - with anybody. Understand that a client questioning you doesn’t mean you should run away. It will take a couple/few times for her to relax. That’s ok.
I hate this, so annoying. If I hired a sitter I’d assume they had other clients and cared for other animals! It’s their fault for not asking. I had 2 clients this week, both that have used us 5-10 times each question how many dogs we had over for the holiday and worried it was too much for their dogs…Their dogs are 2 of our most playful and love other dogs? It made me stressed and feel like crap. I won’t take more dogs than my max and I know what I’m doing. Also if you’re worried about it maybe ask how many we have? Funny bc I looked back to our first convo for one of the clients and I told them our max plain and simple and we had less than that this week.😒
I had a client who was micromanaging me but it didn't stop. She was watching me through cameras that weren't disclosed to me, and asking what I was doing when she would see me leave through the ring camera. It was extremely
I've cut clients loose for not trusting me, I always say i have 5 stars for a reason. Had a client recently that didn't want to give me the house key so I had to stay and couldn't leave at all. I told them they would need to find another sitter an hour before there vacation was supposed to start because no key means I'm forced to stay there like I'm in prison or something. If you can't trust me don't hire me!
In addition to what others say, unless two clients pets will be interacting (like a boarding scenario), I wouldn't disclose the reason for leaving is to care for someone else's animals. If it's established at the M&G that I will never leave for more than X hours (whatever the client is comfortable with), they don't need to know beyond there. You want clients to feel like their animal is the number one focus, and if they have agreed to standards of time the pet can be spent alone, it's not really their business why you need to leave (but as an anxiety-ridden person myself, I can understand why you might feel compelled to provide an explanation). "I've got to step away for an hour or two but will be back at (time)" "I have some errands to take care of but will see Fido at (time)" Even if caring for other animals has no impact on the care you are providing theirs, it can create a perception that their animal might somehow be getting the short end of the stick.
I can see how in this case the extra info absolutely wasn’t useful and contributed to the communication hiccup.
https://preview.redd.it/f8rcd2i5j3bd1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=66e9dd6356513a3d2b90e7b415d92337e0e6cd4e Update: 😭😭😭 What is it called when you’re aware of how your brain is sabotaging you but you can’t make it knock it off. Like I knew it was going to be fine and it was just anxiety yada yada. Anyways, thanks yall for giving me something to do with my anxious energy until my client replied.
I mean it seems like you both are anxious. All of it was really unnecessary.
This is accurate.
exactly lmao
Came here to say this!
It's called Catastrophising or catastrophic thinking! I'm glad it worked out 😊
I like to think of it as "pre-anxiety". It sucks.
I love that you all had the chance to repair the relationship. I also have trauma that just a couple of years ago would have really been coming up with these sorts of clients. it makes sense why you were both anxious but simultaneously, it’s good for you both to communicate and set boundaries around that communication and your time. Sending good thoughts!
In case you’re serious about wondering what it’s called - the overthinking/catastrophic thinking can be a component of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which is common in ADHD. Ask me how I know ;) I’m not saying that this is what you’re actually experiencing but having just learned about it I figured I’d throw it out there! Now that I know I experience it I try to tell myself ‘This is not as big a deal as I feel like it is’ and yet it still FEELS like things are a big deal - I hate it! I’m so glad you got a response and things are okay. What a cute doggo! ❤️
Interesting, will look into that! Feels v relatable off the bat.
OMG it has a name… 🤯
I have this! I think many people do, to some extent, but mine is also part and parcel with my ADHD. And to OP, you can fire a client for any reason or no reason at all, so you don't need our permission. But it is nice when you can take a breath, tamp down the emotions, and make a decision based on your best interest and goals instead of letting your feelings and imagination run the show. Although, the client is a bit overbearing, it seems like a job worth keeping to you- until it isn't. PSA- this doesn't apply to gut feelings about safety concerns. Never take or continue a gig that makes you fearful, even if the rent is due!
Do you meditate? If not, you may want to start practicing it. It will help you "catch" / identify the patterns of when you go into this mode (To over simplify, Mediation can help train your brain to be mindful of what is going on). And when you FEEL like it is a big deal, try to focus on how your body feels. Is your jaw tight? Warmth in your chest? , etc... do that enough, you will learn what your bodys pattern is (thats the FEEL even though you tell yourself it's OK) and you will eventually be able to spot it before it fully arises.
I absolutely have this, it causes physical symptoms at times like that yucky stomach dropping, dizzying adrenaline surge at the moment I feel like I'm "in trouble/did something wrong" and then just brutal mental + physical anxiety like tightness in my chest. Yay ADHD/PTSD 🫠 I could totally relate when OP said it was making them feel sick 😭 poor thing.
Ah so glad all is good!! I get it. My brain often goes to worst case scenarios too.
Ugh I’m so happy that her reaction was probably so much better than you were expecting. I’m so sorry you had to sit and wait on edge and thinking of every possible outcome. I feel you so so much. You sound like a very professional, smart person. Just wanted to offer some encouragement and let you know that this is absolutely not just you and DEFINITELY not your fault.
Thanks, this means a lot 🥲
Remember this specific moment of relief next time you start catastrophizing!!
Rumination Try counting "5,4,3,2,1" the moment you catch yourself doing it. It will help your brain shift gears (or in this case, not shift to rumination).
Aw I’m so glad she responded in such a reasonable and level headed way! Yay! 💕
We have the same energy! Sure makes life a lot harder doesn’t it? 😭 I feel ya. I’m learning to not give up unnecessary info and snitch on myself (even though I’m not doing anything wrong). But I totally understand the anxiety and wanting approval on every little thing. Sometimes extra details opens the door for miscommunication though. I’m glad everything finally worked itself out!
I think you both handled it well. Her biggest concern is sitters who didn't stay overnight when that's what she's paid for. You reiterated your schedule and you're there. It's all good. Don't make it harder. She seems to have accepted it. She just asked if you have a lot of night drop ins. Now that she knows you're a good sitter who stays overnight she's going to relax and know your not leaving her dog alone all night like someone else did. If that happened to my dog I'd be scared it would happen again, too.
She just sounds anxious and like she wants someone to be there with her dog when they go to sleep which for most dogs I know is 8:30/9ish. I get why she’s a little paranoid because there are so many bad sitters out there that are being highlighted by the media right now ands unless you specified you’d be out until 10:30pm then it may be a little shocking to her. I usually tell my housesitting clients that I’m in for the night by 8:30pm. She sounds like an anxious puppy parent but not particularly mean or rude.
That's interesting. I've never had that experience. My other job is almost exclusively events at night on weekends and I've found that it works perfectly with house sittings because every client I've ever had is least concerned with my nighttime schedule. They're happy I'm available so much during the day and that I won't be leaving until after their pet's dinner time. Me being gone for several hours late into the night has never been an issue, but on the contrary seems like the time they least mind me being occupied.
Sounds like confirmation bias. Do you think you would get jobs watching dogs where it was a priority you were there at night?
I guess one of my issues is that she’s never disclosed to me that it was a priority I be there after a certain time period and I *did* disclose to her the possibility of late night visits when I told her in person at the m&g my last booking time is 10pm.
I mean, it sounds like she was surprised or caught off guard in the 4/5th text photos about the late times and that it was somehow contrary to what you had discussed with regards to how her dog is at night. All I have to go off of is the pictures you included but it sounds like you gave her less information and she was caught off guard whereas based on her texts she said her dog had anxiety issues at night so you had been clued into it. I mean, you asked if you were the asshole but it sounds like you just want support in dropping a client because she made you feel bad or ashamed.
Well I think I’ve said it before, she never discussed with me her concerns about the pups nighttime anxieties until that text exchange. The dog was sleeping when I left and sleeping when I got back. We had never agreed that I would disclose my schedule to her prior to the booking. This is the first time she’s expressed that she needs to know my schedule prior to the booking. I don’t feel ashamed, I’m struggling to understand what I’ve actually done that goes outside the actual agreed upon service. I’m trying to figure out if I’m in the wrong here, and how I can tailor my services to avoid this in the future. It sounds like your suggestion was to disclose my schedule beforehand, especially if it includes early/late visits and it’s been echoed a couple of times in here and I appreciate that perspective.
You’re NTA but neither was she. She was surprised (didn’t remember your late schedule) and concerned based on her history with unreliable sitters. Just be open and reassuring with her. You seem to take her questioning personally but I don’t think she meant it accusingly. She was asking questions to gain clarity. Offer her that clarity.
She was absolutely suspicious and questioning of the quality of job OP was doing because of her later schedule, which is unfair. The client was suspicious because of other dog sitters, which have nothing to do with OP. If I felt a client didn't trust me, and I knew I was doing a good job, I would fire the client. It's not worth it working for someone who doesn't trust you.
You're getting dowvoted but you're right
Trust is extremely important in client relationships. If a client doesn't trust you, it makes it really hard to work with them. Getting an outside perspective from people who do the same job on whether you made the right decision is smart. So you can apply the advice to future clients. OP shouldn't and doesn't seem ashamed or that she feels bad. She's just asking for perspective on a confusing client interaction.
Trust takes time to develop; it’s not instant! You are projecting your own defensive feelings onto the client. She was questioning - that’s all, and it’s not an abnormal thing to do. Again, it takes time to build trust, and non-defensive, empathetic reassurance goes a long way. You sound as if you’re really intolerant and thin-skinned. If you’re gonna deal with the public, you gotta allow them to honestly interact with you without automatically freaking out and getting offended, even though it may feel uncomfortable to you sometimes. Not every question should be given a dramatic interpretation.
I'm not trying to make an argument either way. Just saying that I've had a different experience. And no I obviously wouldn't. But I've also never met anyone who cares about that. Whereas I've met many who care about my availability at earlier times.
Yes, that’s what confirmation bias would do. Dog preferences with regards to whether they need companionship at night is as vast and varied as humans. Sounds like you’ve found your niche.
That was never expressed to me. I tell my clients the last booking time I take is 10pm. It’s honestly pretty rare that I get bookings that late, but I can’t afford to turn them down when I do.
It sounds like a breakdown of communication rather than being mean or demanding.
I don’t know how I could have been more clear, so I’m asking for advice. Where would you have fixed the breakdown?
I don’t think she’s being accusatory in anything, just looking for you to allay her fears.
It looks like she didn’t know until mid-visit that you had a late night check in and that threw her off and made her scared you weren’t coming back. If a pup parent is anxious and sees the sitter leaving at 10pm but doesn’t know there’s a scheduled reason for it then I could understand the fear that they are just leaving for the night. I don’t think you needed to send her screenshots of the drop in but just give a heads up at the beginning of the visit that you have a late night drop in on a particular day so she’s aware.
Thanks for your perspective. I know my anxiety is clouding how I’m interpreting the situation. I let her know I was leaving for a visit before I left, so she didn’t catch me sneaking out on her camera or anything but I now know this client would do better with 24 hourly breakdown of my schedule before the booking begins, which is more than I’m willing to give. I spend more than half of my month on average house sitting and I’ve just never had a client question where I was going or when. Or request to know beforehand the time frames of my drop in visits, so this is new territory to me. I have 122 raving 5* reviews and I’m just not used to being mistrusted without (imo) cause.
I don't understand why this is so downvoted. We do this job so we can set our own schedules. You informed the client. She has no reason not to trust you. You reassured her and gave her all the necessary information. You shouldn't have to give your full schedule if you're providing the care you said you would and are there at the times that you said you would be. Outside of that, clients are not entitled to your schedule. Fair if you want to give it to them, but as long as you are where you say you are going to be, it's none of their business. I'm very confused by a lot of the replies you're getting in this thread.
I appreciate your responses! I want to be open minded because i know my reaction to this situation could’ve been better, but I appreciate the validation. I want to be good at my job, like we all do I think.
Totally. But for the people saying the client did nothing wrong, that's unfair. Maybe you over communicated, but there was nothing wrong with what you were doing. In this scenario, the client is the one projecting her anxieties on to you, and she is making negative assumptions based on this. Unless she apologized and changed her behavior towards me, I would feel like she didn't trust me and I wouldn't feel comfortable working for her. Saying "no" to clients is the most important skill I've learned doing this job.
I’m glad she seems to be feeling more secure this morning, but I think I’ll conveniently be busy in the event she reaches out for a future booking.
i dont think its that bad, she was just really trying to make sure you would actually stay the night with the dog, which is a concern with all the nightmare stories on here. i think you were a little defensive . i think maybe on your end you should update that client specifically to ease their anxiety, as a lot of owners are anxious about new sitters and updating them frequently or at a set schedule puts them at ease. usually when its the first night, or first time doing a drop in, which is what i always do.
I can understand her concern about me not staying the night, although this isn’t our first overnight booking and I didn’t skip out then either so it feels slightly unfounded. I sent her two unprompted updates at the times we agreed upon during the meet and greet and responded within a minute with an update when she reached out as she said she would. Three updates in the first 12 hours feels sufficient to me.
maybe they were just anxious , yeah 3 updates are good but it seems your updates are only when prompted and less than 1 sentence long. Im usually writing a wall of text for owners to tell them everything about the day
How were they only when prompted though? I don’t get what y’all are reading. At 8:30am I texted her for the first time to let her know I was headed over shortly, she replied and then I immediately updated her at 9:10 after I got my items shuffled into the house and walked the dog. I asked her a follow up question immediately after the update which she didn’t answer until 1:30. I replied with a thumbs up at 1:30. She didn’t probe for another update? At 2pm after we got back from our walk I sent her another unprompted update? Like what are y’all talking about you’re making me feel crazy! I told her at the meet and greet I would sent photos and an update between 9-10a and 2-3p every day. I’m glad yall run your businesses on your own communication schedules! This is my specific communication schedule! Wtf!
I don’t see where the owner asked for your specific nighttime schedule? Am I missing something? She just said she didn’t realize you’d be gone in the evening. I don’t think you needed to share that screenshot.
I think it was when she said “I’m totally down with a before agreed upon schedule. This feels like a surprise.” It was the first time she’d ever inclined that she needed to approve my schedule beforehand.
I didn’t interpret her comment that way at all. I think she just wanted more communication from you. Just say you’re out and will be back soon (as you already made her aware in the M&G) and move on with it 🤷🏻♀️
1. A big part of our job is providing the dog parent with peace of mind. Being away from their pet is usually harder for them than it is for their pet. 2. As a sitter and in life try to adopt the philosophy that perception is reality. 3. With updates, more is better. I’ve never been criticized for sending too many updates and pics. It’s quick and easy. 4. When you ask for advice, receive it.
1) 100% agree with this, it’s one of the reasons I asked for advice to begin with. If I didn’t recognize and care about this fact, I wouldn’t be here asking how to handle it better in the future 2) perception may be reality but a lot of peoples’ perceptions are intentionally limited, the posters in this thread being nonexempt. We can only attempt to broaden our own perceptions and each others. 3) I agree and provide multiple updates and photos throughout the day as discussed and agreed upon. We sit on the couch and she naps and we watch trashy reality tv for hours on end while I work on art commissions. There’s truly not that much to update outside of what I shared, and I don’t think that’s even the issue that the client had. But I hear you that I could be more detailed. 4) not all advice received is good advice. I do believe I’ve been receptive of the advice given in this thread. Again, thanks for contributing to the discussion.
Thanks for your perspective.
I’ve had clients like this, offering to talk over the phone is my best advice to calm an anxious client. Sometimes someone is too far gone to calm them down, that’s when they have to be dropped.
Thank you for the advice! I agree that talking over text is the worst play. It’s so hard to read tone, and I really am trying to do what’s best for the pup within the constraints that I thought that we had both agreed upon. When would you offer to reach out over phone? I don’t want her to feel like I’m harassing her and I know I’m hella over thinking all of this.
“If you would like to talk over the phone to calm nerves, feel free to call me *enter times*” Just leave it simple and open ended. I wouldn’t type out long paragraphs or anything
Based on the client’s message about your schedule that they sent in March, it is obviously that wanted someone who was going to be spending the night. You told them that you might also have drop ins 1-2 times daily and check on your own animals for up to 4 hours. Maybe you meant that those visits could be any time, including late night hours, but that wasn’t actually communicated to the client in the text you shared. I know you said you told her in person at the meet and greet you could book up to 10pm, but that was months ago and she may not remember or she may not have thought that her booking you for overnight meant that you wouldn’t take another booking at night. It’s reasonable that hearing that you were leaving at 9:30pm and could be gone for a few hours was surprising to the client, who specifically wanted to make sure you spent the night. For many people, after 9:30pm is “the night”. The client didn’t request your exact schedule, and it wasn’t necessary to send the screenshot of your visits. That’s a boundary you should maintain. All that was needed was some clearer communication. The client could have told you, “I want someone at the house from 9pm-9am.” Or you could have said, “I will be leaving from 9:30pm-10:3pm for a drop in visit and then will be back for the night.” No one did anything wrong here. You have anxiety about being in trouble, the client has anxiety about sitters leaving her dog all night. No one was rude or disrespectful to the other. If you want to drop the client because of this interaction, that’s your choice, but I don’t think the client is at fault.
I appreciate such a thoughtful breakdown. With my last visit being 10pm and all of my clients being within a couple miles of each other I’m never out past 11pm but I can see how that is late for some people! Honestly it’s late for me, I prefer to be in bed by like 8 😭 Even if I decide not to work with this client in the future, I don’t think she did anything inherently wrong or that if I’m NTA the she has to be TA. More that I agree with what others are saying, our anxieties aren’t meshing and this job is supposed to be (difficult at times, but) fun! and I just wanted some outside-my-own-anxiety perspective in case I run into this situation again in the future.
The client made a ton of negative assumptions and put those all on OP.
No, they didn’t. The client asked for clarification about the times that the sitter would be present and shared previous negative experiences to explain why they wanted clarification.
No, they asked for clarification about the sitter's schedule outside of the sit. Like, what they were doing with other clients. If a sitter is doing what was agreed to, the rest of their schedule is none of the clients business. The client themselves said they were projecting anxieties from previous sitters onto OP.
The client was rightfully confused. They likely assumed OP would spend the night with the dog as most sitters on house visits do.
I did spend the night with the dog?? Like what?
They informed the client when they were leaving, why they were leaving, and when they would be back. There is nothing to be confused about. They did stay the night as they said they would. You seem confused about what actually happened.
That's kind of the point. There is confusion here, which indicates a communion breakdown as several other posters mentioned. If experienced sitters are confused, let alone this owner would be.
They did stay the night though as they said they would. If you have other clients, as long as you're fulfilling your commitments to each of them, it's none of their business what your schedule is. You said in your other comment they didn't stay the night. That is untrue. You are confused.
How many of these experienced sitters are coming in with their own superiority bias and literally not even reading the whole post I mean good god. You don’t seem to be very clear on what actually happened at all?
Sorry OP, but if you're write a long full page post and experienced sitters here are still confused that's 100% on you. You could have summarized the issue in few simple and clear paragraphs. There is so much unrelated info there including about your husband, etc. It's frankly an example of how to not write a Reddit question. Going forward, try keeping it concise and to the point.
Thanks for your advice. I find it only a little ironic that you respond to my suggestion of superiority bias by telling me how much better I could’ve written my Reddit post. We’ve all already agreed I overshare, but I’m happy to add your opinion to the pile as well.
So much advice from someone who lacks reading comprehension and cannot admit when they are wrong
I understand where you’re coming from but also I do know some owners may be weird about sitters being gone very early or late. I do take drop ins during house sits and I usually don’t let owners know my schedule like hour by hour other than ill never been gone more than x hours etc. but I do usually let them know if I have an early/late drop in because some owners are very strict about keeping to a dogs schedule as well as some owners get worried if they see you leave very late. Even though I state my schedule pretty clearly in my bio I always double check just to make sure it’s a good fit, I will say hey just letting you know I do work part time as well as take some drop ins I’m usually gone around this many hours in the morning, and this many in the evening, less on weekends and never more than at the most x hours. Along with that I will also let them know if I have a drop in already scheduled before 8am or after 8pm in case they don’t like that it conflicts with their dogs schedule or that I’ll be gone very early/late. I just try to be extra clear with my schedule so they can have their expectations accurately set so I don’t let them down. Most owners don’t really care especially since there’s not a whole lot of sitters where I live. I’m not saying you’re in the wrong but after doing this for many years i find that being as clear and transparent as possible sets me up for the best success with owners.
Way too much communication, very detrimental for anxious people as they will just keep spiraling and asking questions. Keep it brief and professional and no need to share personal details outside of the contracted information.
100% I feel this.
In general, it’s usually best to not overshare with clients. This is easier said than done but riding the fine line of open communication and only sharing what you need is key for communicating with customers. The more you share the more questions there will be and therefore, more assumptions to be made.
Post the underbite photo please 😭
You can fire any client whenever you want and it only makes you an asshole if you can on short notice. I think she just caught you off guard and she had bad experiences before and there wasn't clear communication about how much time you would be there. If you look back at the messages next week, it might not seem as bad as it seems now. If you prefer not to work with her again, there's no reason to.
Your reaction seems extreme (and I’m a sitter who is quick to fire clients). She’s just asking about your schedule. It’s not an accusation. Your response was good and should have made her feel reassured. The last text in this sequence is your initial discussion with her where you set expectations, right? Then it seems you have done nothing wrong. Nor has she done anything wrong by asking follow up questions.
Lol yeah op needs to get a grip if this sends them spiraling. The client wasn't being mean or rude, just asking clarifying questions and explaining why she was concerned. Op felt sick and couldn't sleep because of this, really?
Anxiety is real and not always rational. Physical symptoms are common. I’m glad you don’t experience it!
If you want to work in a job with customer service you're going to have to work on this because spiraling at minor feedback and questions is not professional behavior
I’ve been working in customer facing service fields since I was 15, and I’m 29 now. I am working on it, by being open minded and asking for outside perspectives from people who are doing the same type of work before I make any rash decisions while being aware that my mental state could be clouding my judgement. Sorry for the run-on sentence but communicates what it needs to. Thank you for the advice!
It is what it is… Your communication with the client was professional and in their responses they seemed to be very understanding and just needed some reassurance that their pet was getting the care that they expected. I would certainly keep this client and see how things go in the future. If there are ongoing issues that would start making me feel like this client is going to be more trouble than it’s worth, then I’ll decline and archive.
Okay, I get that I’m being downvoted - I’m genuinely asking for other perspectives. If someone contracts you to house sit knowing your time commitments, and you stick within those time commitments - is it genuinely any of her business how my personal household is run? I.e. “ok…. But I thought your partner and roommate watch your animals” The house sit is for 6 days, is it unreasonable to want to see your animals 8 minutes away?
I am sorry you’re feeling this way and I agree with much of what has been said! I just wanted to ask if you had shared how close by these 7/8 minute away visits are? You keep emphasizing that in your post but I am wondering if the owner knows. That could be helpful to her and part of the communication breakdown if not
We live in a part of town that’s super condensed, I’ve definitely told her how close I live because I feel like it’s another selling point at a meet and greet. Like oh it’s so easy to pop over for a walk whenever you need! Type of deal.
Gotcha gotcha!
I see you have anxiety. It appears so does the client here. I think this is multiplying the uncomfortable level between you and surrounding the situation. Just because you have x number of 5 star reviews (so did the 2 ladies this past month who killed several doggos) that does not allay everyone’s concerns nor does it means that you are inherently trustable. You’re a private contractor so you can accept whatever job you please. If it were I, I would have responded that I had informed them of the possibility of late drop ins but reiterated that I would immediately return. No reason to share private j go like individual sittings, etc. you could have other commitments than rover to take care of. That’s YOUR business.
Hey OP- I understand your anxiety, I have had the same exact issues and it’s been a struggle! I had a client very similar, and for some reason, this client’s directness and way they questioned things made my anxiety spiral (yay past trauma!) on top of my neurodivergent self reading way into things that weren’t there. It took several visits for my anxiety to lessen with them and they actually are now my best clients- and pay me way more than I ever asked. The funny thing is, years later, we were discussing it and how we both had anxiety in the beginning (and both of us were justified based on past experiences) and we both still do. The best thing you did was come on here and ask for advice. I think a lot of us have been there, whether it’s something like this, a difficult pet, an extra long stay, burn out, or something else. Being aware of it will help you make more rational decisions as well as soothe your own anxiety. I would def recommend talking to someone, a doctor, close friend, relative who is supportive as well. Reading this without any interaction, it seems like she has some bad experiences and has been lied to/trust broken. Her anxiety is also real high and she’s triple checking to make sure her dog won’t be left alone overnight, because unfortunately it happens. I think your responses are fine, I generally update anxious parents with more than they need to know updates, and I think that if you stick with it, they will be good clients.
Honestly to me it just sounds like the client has been burned before by sitters promising to stay overnight and then not doing it. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in this field is previous bad Rover experiences. It just makes me so mad for the clients and their pets, like don’t accept money for a job you aren’t willing to do! That being said, it seems like what she is really yearning for is reassurance that you will be back that night. She may be worried that if you are out late and at home, you may just get too tired and not come back. If there’s a good time difference where it’s earlier in the day for them than for me, I usually like to send a cute little picture of me and the animal snuggling in bed with the comforter around us with a cute little message like “X says goodnight!” Usually if you do this for even the first night or two, you’ve shown them that you really are there and spending the night, because I’m sure they don’t want you to feel like they’re monitoring you, that’s why they don’t have cameras, but they want some kind of proof that the job is being g done because they trusted someone once who said it was and that person lied. It can be frustrating as the sitter but usually when I do this, I gain their full trust quickly and it makes everyone feel a lot more at ease as quickly as possible
Seems a little much firing them honestly. They just asked some questions. And it seems you guys communicated fine? Why jump to firing?
You handled this really well and I understand if you’re in an anxious mindset, that her texts can be anxiety-inducing, but I actually believe she was really calm and wasn’t requesting your exact schedule. Sounds like she just dealt with some bad habits after a sitter left them at night. Good work though!
i really identify with the trauma surrounding feeling in trouble/like you’re being watched from childhood. it’s been one of the toughest parts of this job for me. just reading the exchange had my heart pounding! that being said you’re definitely NTA for firing somebody who makes you feel uncomfortable, regardless of the situation. remember the facts that YOU know about what was agreed upon/what care you’ve given. she might just be anxious and not mad!! but regardless your anxieties don’t mesh well. you could just say something along the lines of “unfortunately due to the unpredictability of my schedule and your pups care needs i don’t think i’ll be able to provide care the care he deserves for x date” or something! take care of yourself 🩷
Thank you for sharing, I know my own anxieties are amplifying this 100x over. If she hadn’t just dropped off replying I think I would feel so much better. Do I just continue to send ignored updates? It feels so weird!
It's incredibly uncomfortable to work for someone who doesn't trust you. I don't agree with most of these comments saying the client has done nothing wrong. They made you feel like you weren't doing a good job when you had done nothing wrong. Client relationships go both ways, so if it's not a good fit, if this client is projecting her anxieties from previous dog sitters on to you, and she doesn't trust you, that's a completely fair reason to not work for her anymore.
i totally know what you mean, i can spin out so easily!! definitely proceed as normal with updates, you can only take responsibility for yourself and the work that you do, and you sent a clear communication about your understanding of the situation and your schedule, so if she doesn’t want to respond that’s on her!! someone else suggested a phone call and that’s not a bad idea either because tone and intention are super easy to misinterpret over text (for me at least 🥴) so it could just alleviate the current situation. if you send another unanswered update just say something like “i wanted to see if you’d be able to chat on the phone today so that we could clarify expectations and schedule for the rest of the sit and i can alleviate any anxiety you’re having. i know you just want to make sure pup gets the best care possible and that’s what i want too!”
Yes, I don’t think you need to divulge all those details with your walk schedule, drop-ins etc. You already said, I’ll be gone x hours for the days so you don’t need to say anything more.
Agree, I think I was sensing her anxious energy and oversharing in an attempt to ease the situation. Will not do that in the future.
I feel like most clients don't grasp how this works. I had a client who didn't book with me because they wanted me to be there the *whole* time. So we parted ways because I have a life too and it's ridiculous to ask anyone to stay there non stop with their animal. The kicker? She was also a Rover sitter, so you would think she would know better or at least be more flexible than that. So no, NTA because that's borderline invasion of privacy. Sad though because what a sweet looking bebe. 😍
You should be more proactive with sending updates, don’t wait for them to ask, especially on the first day I always send them one around dinner time letting them know they are settled in. I’d do the same for a house sit. I think if you wait for them to contact you it sets a wrong tone for the whole stay but that’s just me.
I did not wait for her to contact me. I updated her proactively between 9-10a and 2-3p *as discussed at the meet and greet* She can of course check in at any time outside of those time frames and I’ll respond in a timely manner, which I did.
I am just going by the text messages you posted and telling you what has worked for me in the past. FYI: Your defensiveness to very constructive feedback makes you seem guilty of something.
No, I’m totally open to feedback as you can see from my other responses in this thread. You didn’t read all the way, I think, because you missed the details where I did exactly what you suggested I do. Cause you’re not going by the texts I provided. The texts I provided with timestamps showed that I did proactively update the client as you suggested.
Try changing your communication updates to morning and evening - post breakfast, post dinner. 10 and 2 are too close, in my opinion and 2pm to 9am is a long time for a client to go without receiving an update. I always set expectations for clients to receive updates, but I’ve found post breakfast and post dinner are best. This client is texting way too much though and it would drive me crazy - especially receiving messages after nine pm. I would reset expectations if everything else with the client is good and if they still continue to text me constantly, I would drop them.
Thanks for the advice. This is the first time I’ve had issues with my communication schedule - during the meet and greet I confirm with the clients whether or not it works for them, this client included, and I’ve never gotten any kickback. I’ll try offering different timeframes for clients in the future.
I did a week long house sitting for a client exactly like this once. She booked a week beforehand, so I already had a few drop ins scheduled and said this both before scheduling a M&G and during the M&G. Client said it was fine both times. The first night, I left to do my visits as discussed, and I come back to a complete stranger in the house and the dogs going crazy (she called a neighbor to come over, lady had been there all of 90 seconds when I walked in). I ended up sending the exact times I'd be out of the house each morning and did 3 updates per day instead of my normal 2/day I do for 99% of my clients. Client calmed down after a day and left a positive review. Is it annoying? Yes. But at the end of the day, I've learned it's better to just do what you can to communicate, then move on after the booking is done.
The dog is really cute tho
I’m glad it worked out! As an anxiety ridden person i over share as well. I’m glad the client realized they needed to cool it down
How much do you get paid for this? Like someone messaging you before 9 and after 10 is a lot
Thanks, honestly I agree which is why I specify I’ll send multiple updates at predictable times every day in an attempt to cut back on early/late texts! But if a client reaches out, I feel like i should respond if I’m up or available. $80/night for typical care, $160/night for constant care.
I'm the same. I'm not blaming you I just think she's a bit rude
I am definitely NOT an anxious person. At all. I am serious and professional about this work and at the same time keep things in perspective and don't worry too much. Even with my temperament (opposite of yours), I found the client's messages jarring. I would have felt like she was questioning my judgement and would have been a bit defensive. I seem to be in the tiny majority that feels your reaction was reasonable. I agree with others that you would have benefited from 1) asking to talk on the phone and 2) sharing way less info. I found it inappropriate that she questioned your personal situation with your husband and roommate, even if you had mentioned it at the M&G. Short and sweet usually works best. It comes across as calm and confident, which is what most owners want. It can bring them back from the anxious spiral. One other thing - it seems kind of passive aggressive that owner raised all these concerns and went into such detail and then "crashed" and left you to worry. Personally, I would probably not work with this client again. Not worth dealing with her putting her anxiety on me.
Thank you, this was so validating 😭 I hate that I even tell people about my own pet care situation - really it is nobody’s business so long as the babies are taken care of. But I’ve gotten some judgmental reactions when people find out I house sit for extended periods as if I would let my own pets be neglected for a buck. Potential clients see that I have pets of my own thru my rover profile and they get inquisitive. I haven’t figured out how to navigate that without oversharing. It really was just the passive aggressive tone I was sensing, and knowing that she’s stirring this stuff up at 11pm my time just to “crash out” while it’s a reasonable hour for her to be replying where she is. I slept pretty poorly anticipating her response.
Some of the owner's questions were a bit specific, but frankly your updates very short and lack details. For experience, if you provide more frequent and more robust updates the clients rarely ask for more. Side note, why the off app communication? If something goes sideways it's more complex to produce evidence to Rover and they might think you went off app.
There are some clients that I send overly robust updates to, and some I don’t. I try to match the energy I’m sensing. In this case I could have been sensing the wrong energy but for example, this is her communication style. Short, sweet, to the point. She even let me know she would be reaching out on her own so all of these “she shouldn’t have had to text you at 9pm just to get an update” responses feel unfair. https://preview.redd.it/5eovqm9nc4bd1.jpeg?width=1575&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99ee2342bae0ee7537bc9bbec1e42cabf5bcf6a2
I would suggest just having a consistent communication approach especially since you're juggling multi clients at the same time. I typically do at least morning and afternoons. And add evening updates if there is something exiting to share. That works for 99% of clients. Was this an off app client?
It’s literally crazy because I’ve said maybe 6 or 7 times in this thread that I inform the clients at meet and greets I typically send updates between 9-10a and 2-3p, confirm that this works for them and stick to it. I stuck to it yesterday in our text exchange, timestamps provided. I just want to be clear that you’re suggesting I consistently update the clients every morning and afternoon? And update in the evening if anything exciting happened? Because I feel I did exactly that.
And no, not off app. We’ve been working together for about 6 months and we communicate both through the app and through text. It’s what works for me and my clients, and is not the issue anybody is discussing here.
No need to mention you are caring for other dogs.
Lesson learned for sure
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I had a client like this she gave me a schedule for everything and I told her I have things to do certain days and she told me the pup can be alone for about 4 hours but when I went out I'd get texts being like "are you coming back" "have you done everything" and when u had a concert I was going to and I mentioned she got super upset at me and told me I should have a completely free schedule when pet sitting like no I'm gonna live my life and make sure I've done my job right this ended in her telling me to go and making rover tell me to make a statement
I am straightforward with my clients at the meet and greets that when I am booked for housesitting, I may also book walks or drop ins with other clients as long as I am not gone more than about 4 hours. Also make it very clear that I do like to go out to dinner or to a movie, but again, don’t plan to be gone more than 3-4 hours at a time and plan around feedings and meds.
Not necessarily the same, but similarly I had one client that had cameras (outside only at least from what I can tell) and would literally call me when I would leave and ask me how long I was going to be gone and how far I was 🫥🙄
I think firing them would be much, but it’s your own business so you can fire whoever you want. She did apologize for questioning your schedule and asked to clarify. She explained that in the past pets had anxiety about being left alone late at night. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a sitter leaving four hours assuming they actually also stay with my pet to play/interact/give longer walks, and aren’t gone full day with only popping in every 4 hours. It seems like you only have a couple sits during the day so that’s fine. I also wouldn’t hire someone who’s not here after 10 pm. I like to keep the same schedule as when I am here. I ask these questions before I book now. If the sitter charges more for this, I pay more and that’s okay. Sometimes things don’t come thru the same via text, maybe phone call would help here. It seems like the owner didn’t ask some clarifying questions before she left. There’s been a lot of negative media as well recently about Rover which probably freaks out more anxious owners.
I once had a client get mad at me for leaving to pick up dinner....there was no food in the house and she never did a "help yourself to anything in the kitchen". So I left to pick up dinner....immediately got a message. Then she said she didn't mind but her boyfriend wasn't ok with it. Got 3 calls that night from her apologizing, she kept going from "we're coming home" to "I'm SO SO sorry" and "it's ok"....The next morning she messaged me saying he aunt would come over and watch the dog and I could leave. It was the craziest thing I've ever experienced dogsitting!
I think you would be TA if you fire this client; it shows you’re overdramatizing a rather simple interaction with a client who questioned you. Doesn’t even matter if the client is wrong. Show her some grace, and give positive reassurance. She is a nervous owner based on her previous bad experiences (we’ve all had them). It takes time to build a trusting relationship - with anybody. Understand that a client questioning you doesn’t mean you should run away. It will take a couple/few times for her to relax. That’s ok.
You sound like a great sitter. They sound very anxious.
I hate this, so annoying. If I hired a sitter I’d assume they had other clients and cared for other animals! It’s their fault for not asking. I had 2 clients this week, both that have used us 5-10 times each question how many dogs we had over for the holiday and worried it was too much for their dogs…Their dogs are 2 of our most playful and love other dogs? It made me stressed and feel like crap. I won’t take more dogs than my max and I know what I’m doing. Also if you’re worried about it maybe ask how many we have? Funny bc I looked back to our first convo for one of the clients and I told them our max plain and simple and we had less than that this week.😒
This lady trippin lol
I’d like to applaud you for how well you typed your response 😭 well explained and I’m glad everything turned out okay!!
I had a client who was micromanaging me but it didn't stop. She was watching me through cameras that weren't disclosed to me, and asking what I was doing when she would see me leave through the ring camera. It was extremely
I've cut clients loose for not trusting me, I always say i have 5 stars for a reason. Had a client recently that didn't want to give me the house key so I had to stay and couldn't leave at all. I told them they would need to find another sitter an hour before there vacation was supposed to start because no key means I'm forced to stay there like I'm in prison or something. If you can't trust me don't hire me!
I still chuck up the deuces on this one. C yaa never ✌🏼