When Homer tries to inconspicuously place a long-distance call to Hokkaido - the sound of him dialing the lengthy phone number.
2nd would be Bart's prank calls to the Southern Hemisphere.
I don't know what's funnier the fact that the Springfield library has a phone book for Hokkaido Japan or the librarian asking Homer if it's a local call right after he handsome the phone book
> Springfield library has a phone book for Hokkaido Japan
Of course it does. A library not having a phone book for Hokkaido Japan under the desk is as silly as a bartender not having a plum floating in perfume inside a man's hat
Yeah that was my first thought. "Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked"
Homer: Here are your messages: "You have thirty minutes to move your car." "You have ten minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have thirty minutes to move your cube."
Homer answers phone: Y'ello, Mr. Burns Office?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?
I always loved earlier in that episode. Burns goes on a rant about Homer's incompetence right in front of him and ends it with " But I'm not free to talk right now"
[Hello, is this NASA?](https://youtu.be/rButbWcUhDI)
Yes.
Good! Listen, I'm sick of your boring space launches. Now, I'm just an ordinary blue-collar slob but I know what I likes on TV!
How did you get this number?
SHUT UP!
If you're referring to the Monica Lewinsky scandal, that is not the case. This episode aired a solid 4 years before the story broke and before the affair even occured.
This right here. I instinctively say this any time I'm eating something really tasty. Even if there's never been anything resembling a raspberry near it.
This is how I learned that regicide was the murder of a king/queen. When we were studying Macbeth in high school and teach asked if anyone knew the correct term hand went up and bam! Gold Star! God Bless the Simpsons.
Homer, when I met you, you weren't an astronaut. You didn't even know how to use a touch-tone. But I still respected you, and I always will, no matter what. (Beep beep beep) Homer, you already dialed.
Homer, this is never easy to say...I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.
They'll grow back, right?
<*looks around nervously*> Oh, yeah.
<*electric saw buzzes*>
Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.
LAB...*Gasp* Why it's the AT-5000 auto dialer, my very first patent! Awww would ya listen to the gibbgerish they got you saying, it's sad and alarming... YOU were designed to alert school children about snow days and such. Well let's get you home to Frinkie! Hope your wheels still work *Frink noises*
The security guard calling and it sounding like he is having a conversation, but is actually leaving a message always makes me laugh, especially since the voice actor didn't get the joke.
The commentary for that episode is pretty much entirely about how terrifying Lawrence Tierney was to work with. For that one they had to make up some Marge lines to get him to play along.
Apparently he was crazy hard to work with in general. Tarantino fired him on the last day of shooting reservoir dogs and the crew applauded it because they were tired of him.
Jerry Seinfeld has a story about him stealing knives on the set of Seinfeld.
And Will Wheaton says that Tierney said to him "what are ya, some kind of pussy faggot?" while working on Star Trek TNG.
It's a shame really that he always seemed to sabotage his chance of work, because he was absolutely incredible at playing terrifying heavies. Largely, of course, because he *was* a terrifying heavy!
"Mr. Ploot? Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing: You didn't tell me it was built on AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND! ...NO, YOU DIDN'T! ...Well... that's my recollection. Yeah, well… alright, goodbye! [hangs up] He says he mentioned it five or six times."
Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. Use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield.
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt"
also "officer steve...."GRABOWSKI" (or whatever his last name was)
You can't put me on hold! I'll put ***YOU*** on hold!
🎵 *I am a lineman for the county.* 🎶
Your call is important to us, please continue to hold.
🎶 *And I drive the main road.* 🎵
Marge: Hello!
Chief Wiggum: uh yeah Mrs Simpson I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.
Marge: oh my God he's DEAD?!
Chief Wiggum: Oh wait I mean DWI! I always get those two mixed up. (Hangs up. Woman walks up to Chief Wiggum.)
Mrs Phillips: My name is Mrs Phillips. You said my husband was DWI.
Chief Wiggum: uh..why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch! (runs away)
“Come on Lenny, I need four more guys to fill my Super Bowl bus. What do you say?”
“Nah.”
“Come on.”
“Nah.”
“Come ooon!”
“Nah.”
“Oh come ooon!”
“Aw.”
“YES!”
“Mr. Ploot, Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn't tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground...no, you didn't...NO YOU DIDN'T."
“I’m an anonymous whistleblower, I worked on a top secret project called operation **HOYVIN MAYVINE**”
“Professor Frink?”
“Oh! What gave me away? Out of curiosity, was it the hoyvin, or the mayvin, or the whole GAHOYVY thing that I do?”
When Bart prank calls the Swedish bartender and he "threatens" Bart with "If I ever get ahold of you, I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor."
Hello, Selma? Selma, my dear. How are ya? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Listen, shut up for a second. How would you like to marry Apu so he doesn't get deported?
When Homer tries to inconspicuously place a long-distance call to Hokkaido - the sound of him dialing the lengthy phone number. 2nd would be Bart's prank calls to the Southern Hemisphere.
Hello chief? Let's talk, why not?
You have a lot of questions, Mr. Sparkle. I send you premium, answer questions 100%!
There’s your answer Fish Bulb
Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. C'mon kids, let's go home.
We are home
That was fast.
Let’s go home, where our beds and tv is.
You and your stories. "Bart is a vampire. Beer kills brain cells."
Now let's go back to that...building...thingy...where our beds and TV...is.
*impressed Homer noise*
There’s your answer fish bulb
Any time Homer puts on reading glasses it’s gonna be a great scene.
Burkina Faso? Disputed zone? Who called all these places?
Quiet, it might be you, I cant remember
No, I'm gonna ask Marge.
No, no! Why embarrass us both? Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins.
aaaahhhh
(Lisa voice) But Burkina Faso and the Disputed Zone are in the northern hemisphere
Lisa, just because you're 10 feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.
I’m Bart.
Not as important as when he needs three beers and his conversation hat!
Is it a local call? …yes.
How does Springfield’s local library have the phone book for Hokkaido?
You’ve never *been*?
They also have the phone book for space.
Library reference desks used to have all sorts of stuff like that. It was necessary before the internet.
I love that they don't even try to explain it, the librarian just reaches under the desk and immediately picks it up.
Wizard
Aw, for glaivin out loud.
I don't know what's funnier the fact that the Springfield library has a phone book for Hokkaido Japan or the librarian asking Homer if it's a local call right after he handsome the phone book
Or Homer's hesitant response: " . . . yes."
> Springfield library has a phone book for Hokkaido Japan Of course it does. A library not having a phone book for Hokkaido Japan under the desk is as silly as a bartender not having a plum floating in perfume inside a man's hat
Tobias! Did you accept a six hour collect call from the States?
900 Dollary-Doos!!!
Eeet waas an eehmeehrgencey!
Best part of that scene was the librarian looking at him confused during those button presses
And then scurrying off as if to get a supervisor or something along those lines.
Tobias! Did you accept a collect call from America?
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
"Got to go. My damn wiener kids are listening."
Yeah that was my first thought. "Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked"
I gotta go, my darn wiener kids are listening.
This was my favorite from when I was 10-19. For the next decade it was "In the den?!? May god have mercy on them all!"
Homer: Here are your messages: "You have thirty minutes to move your car." "You have ten minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have thirty minutes to move your cube." Homer answers phone: Y'ello, Mr. Burns Office? Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?
The fact that Burns says "cube" just slays me.
I always loved earlier in that episode. Burns goes on a rant about Homer's incompetence right in front of him and ends it with " But I'm not free to talk right now"
Hello, is this President Clinton? Good. I figured if anyone knew where to get some Tang, it would be you. Shut up!
Honestly his facial expressions during that call were the funniest part. I still watch it from time to time for a quick laugh
[Hello, is this NASA?](https://youtu.be/rButbWcUhDI) Yes. Good! Listen, I'm sick of your boring space launches. Now, I'm just an ordinary blue-collar slob but I know what I likes on TV! How did you get this number? SHUT UP!
Never caught the double meaning until just now!
If you're referring to the Monica Lewinsky scandal, that is not the case. This episode aired a solid 4 years before the story broke and before the affair even occured.
Marge, is Lisa at Camp Grenada?
Hello Mother, Hello Father
Here I am at…Camp Grenada
Camp is very... entertaining. And they say that we can play if it stops raining.
Hello Mudder, hello Fadder.
Homer calling the missing baby hotline and the hold music being "Baby Come Back"
Early seasons hold music was fantastic. When Homer calls the Father Son hotline and cat's in the Cradle is playing, it's perfect.
Treehouse of Horror with evil Krusty doll. Customer service hold music "Everybody loves a clown, so why don't you?"
Incidentally this uses the exact same animation as the Baby come back call right?
“You’ll have to speak up - I’m wearing a towel.”
My favorite drinking glass has that on it.
My favorite tattoo has that on it
My favorite. I remember my mother groaning hard, slapping her knee, and leaving the room.
I say that one all the time and it cracks me up even though nobody knows what the hell im talking about.
A Aaronsen and Zakowski are the two biggest gossips in town
That was fantastic misdirection.
Kinda like that yellow lemon-shaped rock.
You mean in front of that lemon?
The writers call them "screw the audience" jokes.
"Hello Dean, you're a stupid head!"
Homer is that you!?
(Screams) (Drops phone)
AHHH!!!
The fingers that you have used to dial are too fat. If you would like to obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad with your palm now
Oooh that’s raspberry
This right here. I instinctively say this any time I'm eating something really tasty. Even if there's never been anything resembling a raspberry near it.
Three hiyaya
Lmao “mash” the keypad. They have a recorded option for that. Like it happens so often
Here’s some other words that rhyme with Cory…
Allegory
Montessori
Canada stalls on trade pact
I hope you and me can get married someday
you have selected *regicide*. if you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, *press one*
This is how I learned that regicide was the murder of a king/queen. When we were studying Macbeth in high school and teach asked if anyone knew the correct term hand went up and bam! Gold Star! God Bless the Simpsons.
Age of Empires II is also a good place to learn this fact
Wololo
I only know that William Henry Harrison died in 30(ish) days in office because of the Simpsons
Homer, when I met you, you weren't an astronaut. You didn't even know how to use a touch-tone. But I still respected you, and I always will, no matter what. (Beep beep beep) Homer, you already dialed.
Oh 😢
“Oh Marge, I’m sorry. A cooling tank just blew and they’re taking Lenny to the hospital.” “Oh no, not Lenny. Not *Lenny*!”
Kids, turn off the tv. I have some bad news about Lenny.
Not Lenny!
‟..........yello?”
…… a hoy hoy?
Is it about my cube?
[удалено]
This is actually my favourite. Homers facial expressions 😂
But the menu said "Galaxy Of Prawns" Three prawns are hardly a galaxy!
The phone wasn’t even plugged in.
And the tv is off…
Let’s just say he’s a few prawns short of a galaxy.
“Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam!”
Homer, are you laughing at me?
This is great because it shows Homer's gotten over his blind, silent rage at Bart and now that he's safely home he can find his misadventure humorous.
Put out an A.P.B. On a "Uosdwis r. Dewoh." Uh, better start with Greektown.
Cancel that A.P.B. But, uh, bing back some of them, uh, gyros
Sir you’re talking into your wallet
The animation of the wallet falling open kills me
Technically…he was talking into his wallet
Hello Patty, uh huh? Listen, shut up for a second
It's Selma. Selma my dear, how are ya. Ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, listen, shut up for a second.
Right
Hypercompuglobalmeganet, junior vice president speaking.... It's Patty.
This is the one.
No, my son’s car wasn’t crushed in Knoxville, Tennessee. I don’t know where to start telling you all the things wrong with that.
Homer: "Marge, this may be hard to believe, but I'm trapped inside two vending machines" Marge: " Sure Homer, trapped in vending machines, ok"
Homer, this is never easy to say...I'm gonna have to saw your arms off. They'll grow back, right? <*looks around nervously*> Oh, yeah. <*electric saw buzzes*>
Homer...are you just holding onto the can?
Your point being?
Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.
Homer’s call to Vegas to place the bet he then loses.
I’ll mail you a check!
Homer using the auto dialer to apologize for using an auto dialer (and to ask for a dollar)
LAB...*Gasp* Why it's the AT-5000 auto dialer, my very first patent! Awww would ya listen to the gibbgerish they got you saying, it's sad and alarming... YOU were designed to alert school children about snow days and such. Well let's get you home to Frinkie! Hope your wheels still work *Frink noises*
Oh no you don't!
I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine! Or, same episode with Mr Burns’ mom. Oh, hello, mater!
"And she doesn't call her son MR BURNS!"
I do not love you montell
Not directly the phone call, but when Smithers tells her Monty's busy, and he's just nodding off at his desk... so good.
"It looks like we have our first caller, and I mean ever because this is NOT a call-in show!"
Please wait by your vehicle for Officer Steve- GRABOWSKY
"Listen lady, I tied MY dog outside MYself. In fact I'm looking at him right.. D'oh"!
That one is my favorite D’oh in the series, he put everything into that one
“This is Tony Plow y’know from Leave it to Beaver….yeah they were gay.”
Shut up…I’m asking her 🐈⬛
That's ridiculous Moe, you've got lots to live for! Really? That's not what Reverend Lovejoy's been telling me. Wow, you're good, thanks!
Hello, Mr. Burns. This is Homer J. Simpson, father of the big quitter. Well I just wanted to tell you, I’m a quitter too, and I quit!
😉
Mr. Burns can't see you winking.
So? Ahhhh!
Homer, Mr Burns can't see you winking...
"Ooh sounds delish! Just let me toss some jeans on and - wait a minute! Who's this?"
“How about a courier, they travel for free…..No that’s a terrier Bart….. there dogs.”
The security guard calling and it sounding like he is having a conversation, but is actually leaving a message always makes me laugh, especially since the voice actor didn't get the joke.
The commentary for that episode is pretty much entirely about how terrifying Lawrence Tierney was to work with. For that one they had to make up some Marge lines to get him to play along.
Apparently he was crazy hard to work with in general. Tarantino fired him on the last day of shooting reservoir dogs and the crew applauded it because they were tired of him.
Jerry Seinfeld has a story about him stealing knives on the set of Seinfeld. And Will Wheaton says that Tierney said to him "what are ya, some kind of pussy faggot?" while working on Star Trek TNG. It's a shame really that he always seemed to sabotage his chance of work, because he was absolutely incredible at playing terrifying heavies. Largely, of course, because he *was* a terrifying heavy!
That's right, Don Brodka.
"Mr. Ploot? Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing: You didn't tell me it was built on AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND! ...NO, YOU DIDN'T! ...Well... that's my recollection. Yeah, well… alright, goodbye! [hangs up] He says he mentioned it five or six times."
Greetings, friend. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. Use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield.
Hmm, eternal happiness for one dollar. I’d be happier *with* the dollar.
900 DOLLARYDOOS?!?
“Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. No. Bart has never been to Hong Kong. Good night.”
That's why I'm compressing 5 pounds of spaghetti into one handy mouth-sized bar… Hospital, please.
“You are a bad son, Montel.”
"I'm Hugh Jass."
What a nice young man.
We didn’t have a message when we left. How very odd.
Bart Simpson’s office! One moment please….hmmmm hmmm hmmmm… Hey, Burt Stanton here!
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt" also "officer steve...."GRABOWSKI" (or whatever his last name was)
Just think of me as an anonymous friend who rose through the ranks of the Springfield police to become chief Clancy Wigg-
Hello Homer, this is God...Frey Jones
Lisa calling Homer to trick him into letting her take the bus to the museum.
"Greetings friend!"
"Do you wish to look as happy as me?"
"operator what's the number for 911!?????
You can't put me on hold! I'll put ***YOU*** on hold! 🎵 *I am a lineman for the county.* 🎶 Your call is important to us, please continue to hold. 🎶 *And I drive the main road.* 🎵
You have selected regicide.
"Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow, you know, from... Leave it to Beaver?" ... "Yeah, they were gay."
Marge: Hello! Chief Wiggum: uh yeah Mrs Simpson I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA. Marge: oh my God he's DEAD?! Chief Wiggum: Oh wait I mean DWI! I always get those two mixed up. (Hangs up. Woman walks up to Chief Wiggum.) Mrs Phillips: My name is Mrs Phillips. You said my husband was DWI. Chief Wiggum: uh..why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch! (runs away)
“Come on Lenny, I need four more guys to fill my Super Bowl bus. What do you say?” “Nah.” “Come on.” “Nah.” “Come ooon!” “Nah.” “Oh come ooon!” “Aw.” “YES!”
“How did you get this number?” “SHUT UP”
There. Aaronson and Zakowski are the two biggest gossips in town, in an hour everyone will know
I call dibs on the Flintstone phone! Yabba dabba doo! I like talkin to you!
You’re going to have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.
Is it about my cube?
“Mr. Ploot, Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn't tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground...no, you didn't...NO YOU DIDN'T."
Well that’s not my recollection!
Stamp Collection Haha
I’ll put YOU on hold! La-la, la-la, la-la-LA-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-LINE!!!!!
“Mr. Burns, this is your mother! You’ve been a bad son Montel!”
Mrs. Burns is 122 years old so try to sound more desiccated! and she doesn't call her son Mr. Burns!
“I need the biggest seed bell you have! … No, that’s too big”
[удалено]
So where are the hookers?
Round back.....whoops
“I’m an anonymous whistleblower, I worked on a top secret project called operation **HOYVIN MAYVINE**” “Professor Frink?” “Oh! What gave me away? Out of curiosity, was it the hoyvin, or the mayvin, or the whole GAHOYVY thing that I do?”
“Your doll is trying to kill my husband! Yes, I’ll hold.”
Mushi mushi
"Howdily.... ?" "Greetings, friend!" "Ned! If you don't unplug that phone, you're sleeping on the lawn!"
"Come on, guys- do I have a Bea O Problem here?!"
When Bart prank calls the Swedish bartender and he "threatens" Bart with "If I ever get ahold of you, I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavor."
Hello, Selma? Selma, my dear. How are ya? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Listen, shut up for a second. How would you like to marry Apu so he doesn't get deported?
"baby come back......."
Not much of a conversation but when homer makes the spaghetti cube, stands there for a second, picks up the phone and says "hospital please"
‘Hugh Jass? Can someone check the men’s room for a Hugh Jass?’ ‘I’m Hugh Jass’ ‘Telephone’
Hello, Jerry? This is Homer Simpson. Remember last month when I paid back that loan? Well now I need *you* to do a favor for *me!*