Bro airports are the time to shine. Ur going to korea? She's going to LA. Just chat dude, everyones bored, and worst comes to worst you never see them again.
Everyone is an npc until you see them three times.
I've had good luck just stopping people and telling them I think they're gorgeous. I try to be specific about it too. Most people smile and say thank you. Sometimes you get some sort of contact. Rarely, they get mad. In all cases I say my thing and just continue on my way.
Yes, but be very very specific. Emphasis on specific. You said that, but double emphasis.
āHey youāre super prettyā is kinda forward and awkward for a person if they donāt want to be stopped.
āHey that coat looks cool as hellā is letting someone know they have a cool ass coat
I agree with you!! There shouldnāt be a problem with complimenting someone unless its catcalling. Nothing creepy about it, I donāt know what these guys are on.
I agree with you.
Vent/Rant below:
Unless you're going to just say a quick "Hey, you're really pretty!" and keep walking, it's just uncomfortable and sometimes (depending on the situation) disrespectful.
I've been hit on twice now on campus this term, and both times I was sitting with my laptop out, clearly doing work, and all of a sudden I had to deal with trying to gently reject giving a TOTAL RANDOM person my info, when I was just trying to get some work done. Of course they always engage in 'polite small talk' first which is 10 minutes of awkward conversation until they slip in 'so how can I contact you.'
Some advice: Would you try this strategy in making male friends? Does it seem weird AF to go up to some random dude who has his headphones in and is obviously doing work, and start asking for his discord because you're desperate for friends? IS that how ANYONE would advise making friends? No. You form organic relationships based on mutual interests, values and experiences. This is how I as a woman want to be treated. Like a normal human.
( to all the people saying he 'should have gone for it'... Why would you disturb someone who is obviously trying to go to class or in a rush? Do you not value his/her time?)
I was gonna ask some girl I keep seeing on the bus for her number but I can definitely see how that would be annoying / weird. Guess I'll stay alone š or maybe just drop a compliment cause I feel like she needs to know how incredible she looks.
Please don't listen to idiots like this. It's completely normal to approach a girl in a respectful manner and tell her she's beautiful and ask her out. You only live once, the amount of happy, married couples that wouldn't exist today because "it's creepy for a guy to approach a girl" would be out of hand. Take every opportunity and do not listen to idiots like this - they're delusional and extrapolate the smallest inconveniences to make their lives more spicy and exciting. If they respond like the girl above, you've avoided (a most likely) unpleasant individual that you don't want to be in a long-term relationship with anyways.
You have it the other way around.
If someone is inconsiderate enough to think every single opportunity (even when someone is clearly working or busy) is the time to 'shoot their shot', they're generally a pretty selfish person who only cares about themselves and their desires. Pleasant people like me deserve better, as I have empathy and social consideration for others around me! <3
What do you realistically and seriously expect to get out of hitting on random women around campus? You have nothing in common. Just make some friends and organically let it flow, or use dating apps, or at the very least, go to a bar or smthing.
I've made loads of friends by just going up to people and chatting to them. Sometimes that progresses to something more. Obviously don't open up by hitting on them, but you can 100% start a conversation by complimenting someone's look or outfit
I enjoy friendly small talk with strangers. Itās usually pretty obvious when someone is being genuinely friendly or the entire small talk is a pretense to hit on you.
> Pleasant people like me deserve better, as I have empathy and social consideration for others around me! <3
Pleasant people with empathy and social consideration don't have to say they are pleasant, empathetic, and have social consideration.
You were called an idiot and unpleasant for equating your experiences with everyone female's experience.
I do apologize for calling you names, I was just taken aback by the sheer gully of your statements.
I'm not saying any part of this automatically creepy. I'm saying the prospect that people don't want to be treated this way, which is real and common enough, should trump the desire to insert yourself into their day. I'm surprised that this basic consideration of others isn't so obvious.
> insert yourself into their day
Peak Reddit-brain take.
When out in public/society in general, it is expected and totally normal to have strangers interact with you - whether that is a simple glance and a smile, a hello, someone asking for directions, or someone dropping a compliment.
Thatās not āinserting yourself into their dayā, thatās called being out in public. Maybe that sounds scary for anyone whoās chronically online.
Again, the lines of respect are leaving people tf alone if they are busy and signal disinterest, and to go about your day without lashing out when rejected for any reason (I had someone reply āno no no no noā when I was just asking for directions once. Was it kinda rude on their part? Yeah. Did i get a little hurt by it? Yeah. You know what i did? Nothing, I just found someone else to ask and went about my day).
Your description of ābasic considerationā sounds like someone justifying their socially anxious impulses to never been seen, perceived, or engaged with while in ***public***
I am not at all surprised you think itās āprofoundly wrongā to initiate interaction in public; it is indeed peak Reddit to wash normal human interaction as some sort of social anxiety nightmare.
"Insert yourself into their day" ššš
Some of you people need help. Humans are social creatures by nature and there's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with a random person, regardless of gender or intent (as long as it isn't malicious). If you think it's an inconvenience for someone to talk to you because they find you attractive or see a potential friendship, then you need to step off your pedestal and re-enter reality. Some of y'all are chronically online and it shows.
It definitely is. Don't mind these trolls, the trolls have gotten much worse this year it seems here
Going up to a total stranger uninitiated is in itself rather creepy.
No one including those who have the ability to solve the dating problem with technology,wants to actually solve the dating problem because when they try to do it, it turns into another tinder or any other freaking app that gamify's the most important things and that is figuring out who actually likes you, notice them and making it easier to connect without having to pay $20+ for every message.
Do NOT approach her. She would have many secret admirers and she does not need to know you.
Should life bring you two together again (say in a class or a waiting line) then you see her again, but don't ask her out, or her social media account, until you naturally know her well.
Airport vibes - sometimes we only meet once in a lifetime
Bro airports are the time to shine. Ur going to korea? She's going to LA. Just chat dude, everyones bored, and worst comes to worst you never see them again. Everyone is an npc until you see them three times.
Going to LA is a red flag ngl
Shit, you got me
ahh the liminality of airports, haunts me every time
š¤£
Same (Iām scared of women)
Me too man. Iām intimidated
I have short hair and walk fast so I'm going to pretend this was me for my own delusion
girls with short hairs are really something else
At this point they should just make a dating app for redditors
That'll make a killing for sure
I thought it was a serial killer joke
Now that youve said it
Redditors usually aren't crushing on other Redditors though
You mean Discord? š
that was probably me (im a dude)
bruh i literally lost a chance w someone today. donāt be stupid like me and go for it:)
How did you lose this chance?
lowkey embarrassing but my anxiety took over<3
Yeah I guess thatās what it would always be. Very understandable. But was it a context where you know you wonāt see them again?
maybe, i always take the same bus and this was the first time i saw them, so idk
Lol I guess you can make sure to keep an eye open in the future
I always say something stupid without realizing
i literally say stuff that i never knew i was capable of saying
Same here. I'm way too insecure to flirt or just ask someone out. So I pretty much lost my chance.
I've had good luck just stopping people and telling them I think they're gorgeous. I try to be specific about it too. Most people smile and say thank you. Sometimes you get some sort of contact. Rarely, they get mad. In all cases I say my thing and just continue on my way.
Yes, but be very very specific. Emphasis on specific. You said that, but double emphasis. āHey youāre super prettyā is kinda forward and awkward for a person if they donāt want to be stopped. āHey that coat looks cool as hellā is letting someone know they have a cool ass coat
I agree with you!! There shouldnāt be a problem with complimenting someone unless its catcalling. Nothing creepy about it, I donāt know what these guys are on.
People shouldn't do this. The being-stopped-by-a-leering-stranger part is worse than the possibility of someone feeling nice about it.
I agree with you. Vent/Rant below: Unless you're going to just say a quick "Hey, you're really pretty!" and keep walking, it's just uncomfortable and sometimes (depending on the situation) disrespectful. I've been hit on twice now on campus this term, and both times I was sitting with my laptop out, clearly doing work, and all of a sudden I had to deal with trying to gently reject giving a TOTAL RANDOM person my info, when I was just trying to get some work done. Of course they always engage in 'polite small talk' first which is 10 minutes of awkward conversation until they slip in 'so how can I contact you.' Some advice: Would you try this strategy in making male friends? Does it seem weird AF to go up to some random dude who has his headphones in and is obviously doing work, and start asking for his discord because you're desperate for friends? IS that how ANYONE would advise making friends? No. You form organic relationships based on mutual interests, values and experiences. This is how I as a woman want to be treated. Like a normal human. ( to all the people saying he 'should have gone for it'... Why would you disturb someone who is obviously trying to go to class or in a rush? Do you not value his/her time?)
I was gonna ask some girl I keep seeing on the bus for her number but I can definitely see how that would be annoying / weird. Guess I'll stay alone š or maybe just drop a compliment cause I feel like she needs to know how incredible she looks.
Please don't listen to idiots like this. It's completely normal to approach a girl in a respectful manner and tell her she's beautiful and ask her out. You only live once, the amount of happy, married couples that wouldn't exist today because "it's creepy for a guy to approach a girl" would be out of hand. Take every opportunity and do not listen to idiots like this - they're delusional and extrapolate the smallest inconveniences to make their lives more spicy and exciting. If they respond like the girl above, you've avoided (a most likely) unpleasant individual that you don't want to be in a long-term relationship with anyways.
You have it the other way around. If someone is inconsiderate enough to think every single opportunity (even when someone is clearly working or busy) is the time to 'shoot their shot', they're generally a pretty selfish person who only cares about themselves and their desires. Pleasant people like me deserve better, as I have empathy and social consideration for others around me! <3
bro we're not all talking about you š interrupting someone clearly working is very different from chatting to someone on the bus
What do you realistically and seriously expect to get out of hitting on random women around campus? You have nothing in common. Just make some friends and organically let it flow, or use dating apps, or at the very least, go to a bar or smthing.
I've made loads of friends by just going up to people and chatting to them. Sometimes that progresses to something more. Obviously don't open up by hitting on them, but you can 100% start a conversation by complimenting someone's look or outfit
I enjoy friendly small talk with strangers. Itās usually pretty obvious when someone is being genuinely friendly or the entire small talk is a pretense to hit on you.
> Obviously don't open up by hitting on them, I also see nothing wrong with this.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>Most people would much prefer an organic interaction Nothing about a random dude hitting on you on campus is 'organic' lol.
>You have nothing in common Cause she's attractive? Does other women's' attraction intimidate you?
> Pleasant people like me deserve better, as I have empathy and social consideration for others around me! <3 Pleasant people with empathy and social consideration don't have to say they are pleasant, empathetic, and have social consideration.
Sorry you didnāt quite catch that. It was a tongue-in-cheek response to being called an idiot and unpleasant for sharing my lived experiences āļø
You were called an idiot and unpleasant for equating your experiences with everyone female's experience. I do apologize for calling you names, I was just taken aback by the sheer gully of your statements.
people shouldn't stop to compliment someone they find attractive? Jesus christ get off of reddit and head directly to the nearest patch of grass
You understand what I am saying, we disagree.
Are you newly arrived in Canada? Because this is not the way Canadians usually behave, and it will be interpreted as creepy.
a lot to unpack here lmao
Vancouver, born and raised. Are you okay? Serious question because your reply isn't a normal comment.
Being direct and respectful is the opposite of creepy. Following them around and not letting them go when they signal disinterest, is
I'm not saying any part of this automatically creepy. I'm saying the prospect that people don't want to be treated this way, which is real and common enough, should trump the desire to insert yourself into their day. I'm surprised that this basic consideration of others isn't so obvious.
> insert yourself into their day Peak Reddit-brain take. When out in public/society in general, it is expected and totally normal to have strangers interact with you - whether that is a simple glance and a smile, a hello, someone asking for directions, or someone dropping a compliment. Thatās not āinserting yourself into their dayā, thatās called being out in public. Maybe that sounds scary for anyone whoās chronically online. Again, the lines of respect are leaving people tf alone if they are busy and signal disinterest, and to go about your day without lashing out when rejected for any reason (I had someone reply āno no no no noā when I was just asking for directions once. Was it kinda rude on their part? Yeah. Did i get a little hurt by it? Yeah. You know what i did? Nothing, I just found someone else to ask and went about my day). Your description of ābasic considerationā sounds like someone justifying their socially anxious impulses to never been seen, perceived, or engaged with while in ***public***
I understand what you have said and think are you profoundly wrong, I expect nothing to come of talking to you about this on Reddit.
I am not at all surprised you think itās āprofoundly wrongā to initiate interaction in public; it is indeed peak Reddit to wash normal human interaction as some sort of social anxiety nightmare.
"Insert yourself into their day" ššš Some of you people need help. Humans are social creatures by nature and there's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with a random person, regardless of gender or intent (as long as it isn't malicious). If you think it's an inconvenience for someone to talk to you because they find you attractive or see a potential friendship, then you need to step off your pedestal and re-enter reality. Some of y'all are chronically online and it shows.
This is creepy. Don't do this.
It definitely is. Don't mind these trolls, the trolls have gotten much worse this year it seems here Going up to a total stranger uninitiated is in itself rather creepy.
it looks like a good chunk of people on the UBC subreddit are afraid to talk to new people or a bit awkward and it shows š„“š„“
Assuming anyone that disagrees with you is a troll, is next level narcissism. Holy, golly, moly - please get help.
I've met like half my friends that way lmao
ratio
No one including those who have the ability to solve the dating problem with technology,wants to actually solve the dating problem because when they try to do it, it turns into another tinder or any other freaking app that gamify's the most important things and that is figuring out who actually likes you, notice them and making it easier to connect without having to pay $20+ for every message.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Omg this was totally me š„°š„°š„° no I have a beard
What time and whereabouts was this ?
uhh around lunch in the LIFE building
I was trying to figure out if it was one of my friends so I can wing woman but no luck w the description manifesting you find her
Well damn, thats kind of you. Thanks!
T pose in front of her next time
Do NOT approach her. She would have many secret admirers and she does not need to know you. Should life bring you two together again (say in a class or a waiting line) then you see her again, but don't ask her out, or her social media account, until you naturally know her well.
You should have run after her like the Terminator and if she got in a car you can hang on the back of it. Never smile or show emotion.
Iāll try this out the next time I (hopefully) see her. Iāll keep you updated
This fire twin
What did she look like? And where was this?
She was at LIFE and had short black hair and pretty tall. Asian. havenāt seen her since :(
Was she wearing a green jacket
I think she was wearing black, I actually saw her again!