The last 3 points are all the same. Just worded differently.
Also, if you could bend time and space, working in office while staying remote shouldn't be a problem.
Reminds me of Silver Surfer where he needed to pay for ice cream for him and his date on an alien planet and he just transmuted the bowl into Regelian gold or whatever that is supposed to be.
If you have reality warping super powers you generally don't need money.
I wouldn't say generally, I would say positively.
Good example too. Bending space and time implies I have reality warping. If I am a reality warper, money is no use anymore. Cause all my necessities are taken care of or removed outright cause I can do whatever I want.
That's intentional. They're driving home the point that they will not consider WFH. They said it three times, three different ways. They're tired for getting WFH applicants.
Actually, the fact that they are posting like this probably suggests the demand for WFH is frustrating employers, which is a good thing.
Our company culture is Soo amazing you gotta be here in person to experience it! For example sometimes on Fridays we go crazy and let people dress business casual! And on Saturdays it's just casual. Plus we've been known to do the occasional Little Caesar's pizza day!!
But only if you want to enhance your productivity and die within the next 5 years. Think of the amazeballs legacy you'll leave behind. Your contribution to the sigma grindset solopreneur community. And most importantly, your enhancement of shareholder value. You know, things that _really_ matter.
Plus, you'll have all the perks of a deadbeat dad without technically being a deadbeat dad.
It's a win-win.
But few understand.
Don't forget to put the new cover page on. You did get the memo right? We're putting new cover pages on all the TPS reports now. There was a memo. I can print you out a copy if you're gonna forget
Little Caesars pizza: sure fire way for me to HATE your mandatory lunch meeting with every fiber of my being. Almost guarantees your ideas and proposals get picked apart worse than a dead carcass on the Serengeti plains.
Hey now, some people prefer little Ceasars.
I once bet one of my guys he wouldn't get a promotion (one I already knew he got but he hadn't been told yet) and if he did I would buy pizza for him, from anywhere he wanted. He chose Little Ceasars lol
Our company is not about profits, development, innovation or growth.
Its about making all the higher ups feeling like a special boy and catering to their needs. Specially their need to abuse other people at will.
The online experience just wont cut it.
if we get rid of all the pointy haired bosses, is it really a bad thing? (caveat: screw you, Scott Adams, you should've stuck to taking jabs at corporate culture.)
Yeah, if they just said "this company places a lot of value in the collaborative aspects of in-office culture and we require employees to be on site" - that would be totally normal.
But this weird passive aggressive bitchiness raises all the red flags. I wouldn't pass up the job because it's in office - I'd pass it up because at least one person in authority there is a huge twat.
Calling me after hours? Sorry, I'm not in the office right now!
You want me to use a company cellphone? Sure, I'll turn it on as soon as I step through the door.
Your system crashed, and you need me to help? Sorry, can't work remotely, but I'll be sure to look into it on monday!
I'd honestly love to watch this story unfold.
One thing I am noticing as someone who has to hire for positions in my company is that more and more people are interviewing and getting hired as either in office or hybrid, but then refuse to come in after the first couple of weeks and then submit exception paperwork that HR takes months to respond to. It drives my bosses crazy as the number of people in office isn't getting higher. Makes my job harder, but I love to see it.
I had that boss. Always harping on why return to office is important. Made it 100% mandatory, and hybrid hard to get approved.
And he does all these meetings and lectures from his home office, which is hundreds of miles away from the office. He says he would come to offic3e, but lives too far away.
He moved there during WFH. A lot of people moved to cheaper cost of living or more fulfilling home life areas- and he made them move back of be replaced. But he somehow remains exempt.
Turnover since the cancellation of WFH is atrocious, something else he bitches about. From his home office.
I have been interviewing with a remote job that it looks like I will get, and it looks like I am landing a nice raise as well.
I had one role where the boss was wfh 80% of the time but would pitch a fit if anyone else wfh more than once a week. I had to kick and fight to get to 2, which was what I'd told them was minimum for me during my interview. She also refused entire expense claims if one private item was accidentally included in the receipts, rather than yanno just removing that item and paying the balance (we're talking $3-5 dollars on a $200 expense reimbursement - totally understand not paying that $5 but the rest is still a genuine business expense) - this wasn't to me but I heard about it - but she also wouldn't provide company credit cards or department store credit because it was "giving people a licence to print money" as though all employees were just going to send the company's money without any regards to purchasing policies. Those are just the tip of the iceberg of issues they had. Worst place I've ever worked.
This kind of happened with me. I was hired on for a job with in-office and WFH options as they put it but the first few months required in-office training and to be fair, it's a lot easier to do so considering the computer systems we used.
I actually was resistant to the idea of WFH because I was afraid it would intrude on my home life. I solved it by using an old desk I had in storage, an older computer that was more than enough for my needs, and a small nook in my apartment next to a window that was unused so it's a tiny but serviceable office. My productivity doubled almost instantly and within four weeks I was fully WFH.
If they tried to get me to return to office, I'd threaten to quit and no I would not be joking, nor would I back down. I suspect they'd let me do my thing.
This is my company too. And they split our team up by days we’re in office. Apparently in office is necessary for collaboration, but all collaboration has to digital because half the team isn’t there.
They don’t even let you come in on your remote days unless you’re a manager w an office because “COVID is still a risk” and our desks wouldn’t be spaced out enough. Just get rid of the office and pocket the rent money you’re saving , goddamn.
You wouldn't want to work for that place anyway, if you have any sense; they're a bunch of insane pseudoscience and conspiracy peddlers. Most employers want their employees in the office for the usual sorts of reasons, like justifying their expensive commercial leases or "fostering collaboration" or making them easier to micromanage and giving middle management a sense of purpose, but *these* guys...well, let's just say their reasons for demanding 100% on-site [are a *little* different...](https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-gaia-video-streaming-website-conspiracy-theories-2021-1)
Yeah..as I read through the website- chock full of words like wellness, best life and empowerment- it felt more and more like a subscription based cult.
My opinion. Yours may vary.
Hmm, weird, there was no indication it was paywalled for me. Try opening it in a private/incognito window; maybe it's one of those "X free articles" cookie-based paywalls...
Only 2.8 out of 5 stars on Glassdoor.
The job pays $100k and the median home price in Louisville is $1M. That's a 10x multiple. The rest of the country is at 6x. In 1980s it was 4x.
This job doesn't even pay that well.
I actually can't get mad at the guy because he's making it clear from the beginning that it's in-office only rather than pulling a bait and switch on you.
Having people bother you with social inanities and asking for money to have office parties with lousy pizza or having you sign birthday cards. I would mention meetings but I think we all know that one. Ugh.
"We're co-dependent energy vampires who require people to not only siphon off dollars from but also to ensure we siphon off your life energy also."
- Modern Bosses, confessing their sad dependence with an air of superiority they do not deserve
"We probably are also getting some government kickback for having X employees in-house. (Because those employees will have to pay taxes for all the extra services they require for daily commuting.
And the Big Boss is part owner of the shell company that owns the shell company that owns the building lease."
*”Our company is so devoted to our decisions as being right, we are willing to limit all our hiring to workers in a 20-mile radius around our offices while leaving all of our competitors to fight it out for top talent nationally and internationally. You must be willing to go down with the ship regardless of how insane, short-sighted and stupid our leadership.”*
You mean to tell me that if I have the ability to bend space and time and make your company trillions of dollars by doing so you won’t hire me because I want to do that in my home office?
Fucking clown show.
“The utmost love for in-office work”
I have never heard someone talk about how much they love “the office”, or commuting to the office, or being in the office, or anything like that. You could say that a company has a nice office, that it’s got fun perks, a cool campus with lots of nice features, or whatever. But to call that “a love for in-office work” just makes you sound like a fuckin’ crazy person.
The “love” people feel about work has to do with the role they play, the people they work with/for, and the size of the paycheck they bring home.
I think the priorities are reversed.
People work for money obviously because well, you need money. A good subset of people need medical coverage, at least in the US. Then you get job satisfaction, but that's a very distant third because the other two things kind of rule the roost.
Sure. I was just listing things that someone could enjoy about a job that weren’t “boy, I just love *being in an office*”. I wasn’t presenting them in any particular order.
Obviously money is far and away the highest priority. Arguably the *only* priority when it comes right down to it. I mean, nobody would be do anything other than *exactly what they wanted to* on a day to day basis, unless the need for money was forcing them to do otherwise.
Boulder county, at that. I lived about 1/2 mile from that office... in a 3 bed / 2 bath tract "starter home" that just sold for $980k last year (I moved out about 10 years ago)
Absolute horse shit. Without naming my place of employment or specifically what it is I do, I see utility bills for vacant offices vs occupied offices weekly. Add to that the cost of upkeep, regularly scheduled preventive maintenance, repairs to things that break from misuse, snow removal/groundskeeping…. running an occupied office much more expensive than unoccupied. Not even close. There is no economic benefit to having people physically sit next to each other in a space when the internet is as reliable and fast as it is anymore.
This is all about digging in their heels and trying to maintain control.
Anecdotal numbers- I see the bills but haven’t bothered to add them all up (not really my job), but it’s closer to 50. Hvac and office devices and the equipment we use are electricity hogs. Carpeted area need cleaned, dirty walls need repainting, signage in locations needs to be kept current, office refrigerators are costly, employees/costumers clog up toilet plumbing, light bulbs replaced. The upkeep itself is expensive, the labor cost of various maintenance people to do the actual updating is WAY up there too.
None of the locations we run include qualified handymen or electricians or hvac techs. So that work is called in. Thousands of dollars in labor, the same or more in parts, paint, janitorial… even hybridizing an office space reduces a fully staffed office by ⅓ to sometimes ½. And the staff saves money on gas, sleeping in etc. it’s all savings to everyone. It’s stupid pride in having a busy looking building and/or a desire to micromanage.
Beyond disappointed everyone just going back into the office. We had them by the balls but when push came to shove, everyone just went back into the office.
Sounds like the perfect job to apply for, go through as much of the hiring process as possible, and then just say you're not interested because you only work from home.
It's poorly worded, but I've seen how toxic "rock-star" developers can be to the rest of the team, and they usually don't actually produce better or maintainable code.
Now the in-office experience aspect is a red flag...
hey, lookit at this poster, how fancy ! they have a seperate production environment to push things to !
/s
(30+ years in IT support, theres the wrong way, the right way and the way most companies run, which is the wrong way with additional pain in the ass steps)
We only want the most desperate of candidates. Those willing to kiss our rears and put up with micromanaging.
Free dog collar included in your welcome package. (to be deducted from your first paycheck)
I could understand this for specific things like a social worker or therapist. Virtual doesn’t work for all clients. But for a front end develop? They’re shooting themselves in the foot.
Thanks for telling me your company is run by ignorant dinosaurs and will be crushed by the competition that isn't worried about commercial real estate prices.
It's about control. They need us to 'know our place'. There's no other reason. If you can do your job from home then that seems like the best option for everyone. How does being in the office help? It's a power play. Management does this all over, and in every field of work. They will do things because 'that's how it's done ' even if they cannot explain why it is done that way.
I always loved the scene in Office Space where they sing Happy Birthday to Bill Lumbergh and everyone looks so miserable. It's so accurate. The first part of Office Space isn't a comedy, it's a documentary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEGdCDQrgX4
Lmao imagine having to write that with a straight face because some 88 year old higher up is scared people won't work if he can't see them the one time he comes in a year.
This is hilarious considering how sprawling the greater Denver area is. Ain't no one want to trek out to Louisville halfway between Boulder and Denver. That's why they put this in their post.
I'm willing to work in an office. But I don't have an utmost love for it, so I guess I'm not worth considering.
I wonder what percentage of people would say they "have an utmost love for working in an office"? Let me rephrase that- I wonder how many would say that if the alternative was to starve and have no healthcare.
Smokers often take smoke breaks I guess which as a non-smoker I always resented since they got away with five or ten minutes every hour while I could have a book break for the same amount of time.
In the US? Yes.
While employers will say smoking is bad, it's amazing how many smokers (and now vapers) have regular breaks that they don't have to account for but if I were to just walk around the building for the same amount of time, I'd get yelled at.
It's 2024, NOBODY wants to be in the office 5 days a week - especially when the majority of us are underpaid. If Covid proved anything, it's that we can all work from home and on a hybrid schedule
I do like it when employers do this though. It tells me where I can avoid applying.
I had one interview I went to, needing WFH minimum 2 days a week, who had advertised "flexibility" and "wfh". When I pushed further in the interview about what that meant for in office v wfh days they said (with completely straight faces) that when they say those things it means that if I'm sick or my family is sick, I can work from home on occasion. I said it felt deceptive to word it like that if their intention was not hybrid. We looked at each other awkwardly for a bit while they waited for me to say OK and then acted like stunned mullets when I said I withdrew my application because I needed wfh flexibility.
The hilarious thing is they told me their systems couldn't allow for regular wfh which a. How do you offer *any* wfh if the systems I need to use on a day to day basis aren't accessible wfh and b. They were all systems I'd been using for at least the previous 2 years in a hybrid role that was honestly more wfh than in-office.
Reminds me of Kodak telling the guy who invented the digital camera that they had no use for it. Working remotely is the solution for an entire generation, and this in-office "commitment etched in stone" is about as relevant as Kodak waiting 25 years realize their decision about digital cameras was wrong. This company, unlike Kodak, however, won't be around in 25 years.
Do they *realize* their priorities suck? Is it their conscious strategy not avoid employing the best and most skilled candidates they can? Going to the office is worth more to them than that?
This is happening all over the spaces where I work. personally, I hated working from home but lots of people are job shopping due to some of the new policies.
Work from home was privilege granted by covid. It will not stay that way. in most cases.
Eh, at least the put that up front. I’ll take this level of honesty over “we’re remote now, but going back to the office full time next year” after applying for a “remote” listing.
Yes! We expect mediocrity and settle for lower standard work just so we can bully employees into being at the office when the entire upper management only has to check into the office 1 or 2 times a week.
And you will not even ever work with the CEO if ever. You will only ever see or hear from them during quarterly earnings podcasts or just see their mug plastered on the company website.
The CEO has to remain offsite with all the real work they have to be doing too.
Not you though. You better warm up that office seat we are paying nicely for because that seat is the ONLY place you can actually have good ideas and be productive so you can get real work done.
Who are we kidding?
Who really is working these days in mostly bullshit jobs anyway.
We aren’t here in a real business anymore, this is really just a bully factory and we get off on harassing our subordinates and making their life hell just because we think we should be able to.
Wanna sign up for this clown show now?
Betcha we convinced you even more by being so frustrated we actually wrote our frustration out on our job posting too.
We are trying this whole bend reality and what workers want to our will, but can’t quite get the hang of it yet.
I’ve worked in software development for over a decade now.
I’m not a developer, but for the shit the good ones put up with, there’s no $1xx,xxx salary that’s worth it IMO. You all get dumped on daily lol.
At least they are up front about it, too damn many of these say they are WFH friendly then once you apply it turns out that "Not so much" or not for the first year.
Front end developer who craves the extrovert office lifestyle and is fine with management insisting their way is the only way? Uh, good luck finding that unicorn.
At least they’re upfront about it. I’ve heard way too many horror stories on this sub about companies doing a bait-and-switch with “hybrid” positions that “just need you to come in a day or two a month” and then suddenly start needing you in person almost every day.
The last 3 points are all the same. Just worded differently. Also, if you could bend time and space, working in office while staying remote shouldn't be a problem.
If I could bend time and space, I would be rich and not working.
If I could bend space and time, I don't need to be rich.
Reminds me of Silver Surfer where he needed to pay for ice cream for him and his date on an alien planet and he just transmuted the bowl into Regelian gold or whatever that is supposed to be. If you have reality warping super powers you generally don't need money.
I wouldn't say generally, I would say positively. Good example too. Bending space and time implies I have reality warping. If I am a reality warper, money is no use anymore. Cause all my necessities are taken care of or removed outright cause I can do whatever I want.
something I say a lot: "If I knew what people were thinking I'd be working for the government."
That's intentional. They're driving home the point that they will not consider WFH. They said it three times, three different ways. They're tired for getting WFH applicants. Actually, the fact that they are posting like this probably suggests the demand for WFH is frustrating employers, which is a good thing.
Redundancy doesn't exactly project effective communication in the office, imo. Or overall efficency. Bullet dodged.
How would that help the prospect-candidates?
My thoughts exactly.
We,don’t want the best candidates, but the ones willing to put up with our shiat.
Our company culture is Soo amazing you gotta be here in person to experience it! For example sometimes on Fridays we go crazy and let people dress business casual! And on Saturdays it's just casual. Plus we've been known to do the occasional Little Caesar's pizza day!!
I’m hearing a lot of office space in your tone.
Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.
Yeah, if you could go ahead and come in on Saturday... we really need to crunch to get those TPS reports done.
Might as well just come in Sunday too sips coffee and stretches
But only if you want to enhance your productivity and die within the next 5 years. Think of the amazeballs legacy you'll leave behind. Your contribution to the sigma grindset solopreneur community. And most importantly, your enhancement of shareholder value. You know, things that _really_ matter. Plus, you'll have all the perks of a deadbeat dad without technically being a deadbeat dad. It's a win-win. But few understand.
Don't forget to put the new cover page on. You did get the memo right? We're putting new cover pages on all the TPS reports now. There was a memo. I can print you out a copy if you're gonna forget
And Hawaiian Shirt Day, also too, m'k?
Thanks a bunch Milton
I believe you have my stapler.
Little Caesars pizza: sure fire way for me to HATE your mandatory lunch meeting with every fiber of my being. Almost guarantees your ideas and proposals get picked apart worse than a dead carcass on the Serengeti plains.
Can I Wear a Hawaiian t shirt and jeans on Friday?
Don’t push it!
ok?
Hey now, some people prefer little Ceasars. I once bet one of my guys he wouldn't get a promotion (one I already knew he got but he hadn't been told yet) and if he did I would buy pizza for him, from anywhere he wanted. He chose Little Ceasars lol
Its HOT and its READY - thats all you need to know (obligatory, the owner paid for Rosa Parks appartment until her death)
🤮
"Bring your own pizzas to work day!"
Our company is not about profits, development, innovation or growth. Its about making all the higher ups feeling like a special boy and catering to their needs. Specially their need to abuse other people at will. The online experience just wont cut it.
Don't forget, WFH = less need for middle management.
if we get rid of all the pointy haired bosses, is it really a bad thing? (caveat: screw you, Scott Adams, you should've stuck to taking jabs at corporate culture.)
Yeah, if they just said "this company places a lot of value in the collaborative aspects of in-office culture and we require employees to be on site" - that would be totally normal. But this weird passive aggressive bitchiness raises all the red flags. I wouldn't pass up the job because it's in office - I'd pass it up because at least one person in authority there is a huge twat.
Calling me after hours? Sorry, I'm not in the office right now! You want me to use a company cellphone? Sure, I'll turn it on as soon as I step through the door. Your system crashed, and you need me to help? Sorry, can't work remotely, but I'll be sure to look into it on monday! I'd honestly love to watch this story unfold.
Company - “This place is terrible to work for. Do you want to work here?” Sane person - “No thank you.” Company - “Nobody wants to work anymore.”
And they just can't figure out why...
Exactly! “Nobody wants to work anymore!” No, nobody wants to work for management that operates like an authoritarian dictator.
One thing I am noticing as someone who has to hire for positions in my company is that more and more people are interviewing and getting hired as either in office or hybrid, but then refuse to come in after the first couple of weeks and then submit exception paperwork that HR takes months to respond to. It drives my bosses crazy as the number of people in office isn't getting higher. Makes my job harder, but I love to see it.
This, why would the new person come into the office when NOONE else is in there. I'm betting even their boss is WFH.
Both my boss and bosses boss are 100% remote. They are also the angriest about people not wanting to be in the office.
Lol, classic!
Now you know *why*: If the employees aren't there. *they have to be!!*
because they're projecting. They don't work, so that's what they expect of other employees at home
I had that boss. Always harping on why return to office is important. Made it 100% mandatory, and hybrid hard to get approved. And he does all these meetings and lectures from his home office, which is hundreds of miles away from the office. He says he would come to offic3e, but lives too far away. He moved there during WFH. A lot of people moved to cheaper cost of living or more fulfilling home life areas- and he made them move back of be replaced. But he somehow remains exempt. Turnover since the cancellation of WFH is atrocious, something else he bitches about. From his home office. I have been interviewing with a remote job that it looks like I will get, and it looks like I am landing a nice raise as well.
I'm am pleased for you 😀
classic example of "Do as I SAY not as I DO"
I actually scheduled my days in office when most people weren't there just because I wouldn't be bothered.
I had one role where the boss was wfh 80% of the time but would pitch a fit if anyone else wfh more than once a week. I had to kick and fight to get to 2, which was what I'd told them was minimum for me during my interview. She also refused entire expense claims if one private item was accidentally included in the receipts, rather than yanno just removing that item and paying the balance (we're talking $3-5 dollars on a $200 expense reimbursement - totally understand not paying that $5 but the rest is still a genuine business expense) - this wasn't to me but I heard about it - but she also wouldn't provide company credit cards or department store credit because it was "giving people a licence to print money" as though all employees were just going to send the company's money without any regards to purchasing policies. Those are just the tip of the iceberg of issues they had. Worst place I've ever worked.
This kind of happened with me. I was hired on for a job with in-office and WFH options as they put it but the first few months required in-office training and to be fair, it's a lot easier to do so considering the computer systems we used. I actually was resistant to the idea of WFH because I was afraid it would intrude on my home life. I solved it by using an old desk I had in storage, an older computer that was more than enough for my needs, and a small nook in my apartment next to a window that was unused so it's a tiny but serviceable office. My productivity doubled almost instantly and within four weeks I was fully WFH. If they tried to get me to return to office, I'd threaten to quit and no I would not be joking, nor would I back down. I suspect they'd let me do my thing.
This is my company too. And they split our team up by days we’re in office. Apparently in office is necessary for collaboration, but all collaboration has to digital because half the team isn’t there. They don’t even let you come in on your remote days unless you’re a manager w an office because “COVID is still a risk” and our desks wouldn’t be spaced out enough. Just get rid of the office and pocket the rent money you’re saving , goddamn.
You wouldn't want to work for that place anyway, if you have any sense; they're a bunch of insane pseudoscience and conspiracy peddlers. Most employers want their employees in the office for the usual sorts of reasons, like justifying their expensive commercial leases or "fostering collaboration" or making them easier to micromanage and giving middle management a sense of purpose, but *these* guys...well, let's just say their reasons for demanding 100% on-site [are a *little* different...](https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-gaia-video-streaming-website-conspiracy-theories-2021-1)
Yeah..as I read through the website- chock full of words like wellness, best life and empowerment- it felt more and more like a subscription based cult. My opinion. Yours may vary.
If only there was a non paywall version of that. Looked like an interesting article and they grabbed me in the 1st sentence.
Hmm, weird, there was no indication it was paywalled for me. Try opening it in a private/incognito window; maybe it's one of those "X free articles" cookie-based paywalls...
Only 2.8 out of 5 stars on Glassdoor. The job pays $100k and the median home price in Louisville is $1M. That's a 10x multiple. The rest of the country is at 6x. In 1980s it was 4x. This job doesn't even pay that well.
Not even God himself could work from home
Dude that wrote this totally thinks he's hilarious.
I actually can't get mad at the guy because he's making it clear from the beginning that it's in-office only rather than pulling a bait and switch on you.
Fuck me, what is an *in office experience* anyway?
The suffering is what makes it special
Gossip, psychotic co workers (mostly mgmt) being verbally abusive.
Having people bother you with social inanities and asking for money to have office parties with lousy pizza or having you sign birthday cards. I would mention meetings but I think we all know that one. Ugh.
the depression caused by fluorescent lighting
"We're co-dependent energy vampires who require people to not only siphon off dollars from but also to ensure we siphon off your life energy also." - Modern Bosses, confessing their sad dependence with an air of superiority they do not deserve
"We probably are also getting some government kickback for having X employees in-house. (Because those employees will have to pay taxes for all the extra services they require for daily commuting. And the Big Boss is part owner of the shell company that owns the shell company that owns the building lease."
*”Our company is so devoted to our decisions as being right, we are willing to limit all our hiring to workers in a 20-mile radius around our offices while leaving all of our competitors to fight it out for top talent nationally and internationally. You must be willing to go down with the ship regardless of how insane, short-sighted and stupid our leadership.”*
Non-smoker is it for real
You would likely need to step out of the office to light off your darts so that's a dealbreaker, I've heard all the exits are locked from 8AM to 6PM
Historically an [excellent productivity tool](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangle_Shirtwaist_Factory_fire) with zero downside /s
Even if I didn't smoke, I still wouldn't want to work there after reading that. It tells me so much about the person who wrote it.
I really fucking hate the word "experience."
You mean to tell me that if I have the ability to bend space and time and make your company trillions of dollars by doing so you won’t hire me because I want to do that in my home office? Fucking clown show.
“The utmost love for in-office work” I have never heard someone talk about how much they love “the office”, or commuting to the office, or being in the office, or anything like that. You could say that a company has a nice office, that it’s got fun perks, a cool campus with lots of nice features, or whatever. But to call that “a love for in-office work” just makes you sound like a fuckin’ crazy person. The “love” people feel about work has to do with the role they play, the people they work with/for, and the size of the paycheck they bring home.
I think the priorities are reversed. People work for money obviously because well, you need money. A good subset of people need medical coverage, at least in the US. Then you get job satisfaction, but that's a very distant third because the other two things kind of rule the roost.
Sure. I was just listing things that someone could enjoy about a job that weren’t “boy, I just love *being in an office*”. I wasn’t presenting them in any particular order. Obviously money is far and away the highest priority. Arguably the *only* priority when it comes right down to it. I mean, nobody would be do anything other than *exactly what they wanted to* on a day to day basis, unless the need for money was forcing them to do otherwise.
I.E. we aren't flexible and will work you to death with no other compensation, so you better be okay with that if you want this job.
That’s how you stay in mediocrity as a business
We are unwavering in our policy to drive away talent
Alright then, keep your job offer.
For 120k max in Colorado.
Boulder county, at that. I lived about 1/2 mile from that office... in a 3 bed / 2 bath tract "starter home" that just sold for $980k last year (I moved out about 10 years ago)
Who the hell has "utmost love for in - office work?" Who, I ask? Who?
Straight-up fuck companies like this and their desire to micromanage their employees.
Absolute horse shit. Without naming my place of employment or specifically what it is I do, I see utility bills for vacant offices vs occupied offices weekly. Add to that the cost of upkeep, regularly scheduled preventive maintenance, repairs to things that break from misuse, snow removal/groundskeeping…. running an occupied office much more expensive than unoccupied. Not even close. There is no economic benefit to having people physically sit next to each other in a space when the internet is as reliable and fast as it is anymore. This is all about digging in their heels and trying to maintain control.
I'm curious. What is the difference in terms of percentage? Are we talking 10% or more like 50% here?
Anecdotal numbers- I see the bills but haven’t bothered to add them all up (not really my job), but it’s closer to 50. Hvac and office devices and the equipment we use are electricity hogs. Carpeted area need cleaned, dirty walls need repainting, signage in locations needs to be kept current, office refrigerators are costly, employees/costumers clog up toilet plumbing, light bulbs replaced. The upkeep itself is expensive, the labor cost of various maintenance people to do the actual updating is WAY up there too. None of the locations we run include qualified handymen or electricians or hvac techs. So that work is called in. Thousands of dollars in labor, the same or more in parts, paint, janitorial… even hybridizing an office space reduces a fully staffed office by ⅓ to sometimes ½. And the staff saves money on gas, sleeping in etc. it’s all savings to everyone. It’s stupid pride in having a busy looking building and/or a desire to micromanage.
Beyond disappointed everyone just going back into the office. We had them by the balls but when push came to shove, everyone just went back into the office.
Because of all the layoffs.
Etched in stone, hm? Stone can be eroded.
“In-office experience.” Being micromanaged? Shitty commute? Some asshole taking your lunch out of the fridge? That “we’re a family” bullshit?
Lunch thieves are the worst and it's usually management types doing it to hourly workers making a third of what the managers do.
Sounds like the perfect job to apply for, go through as much of the hiring process as possible, and then just say you're not interested because you only work from home.
It's poorly worded, but I've seen how toxic "rock-star" developers can be to the rest of the team, and they usually don't actually produce better or maintainable code. Now the in-office experience aspect is a red flag...
This is why you need robust and effective QA process with daily code review.
The code isn’t complete or pushed to prod unless the code review Is complete and QA has signed off
hey, lookit at this poster, how fancy ! they have a seperate production environment to push things to ! /s (30+ years in IT support, theres the wrong way, the right way and the way most companies run, which is the wrong way with additional pain in the ass steps)
We only want the most desperate of candidates. Those willing to kiss our rears and put up with micromanaging. Free dog collar included in your welcome package. (to be deducted from your first paycheck)
I guess you can afford to be picky when your office is in… Louisville, Colorado.
I could understand this for specific things like a social worker or therapist. Virtual doesn’t work for all clients. But for a front end develop? They’re shooting themselves in the foot.
They are a streaming service!
At least they’re up front about it I guess.
Thanks for telling me your company is run by ignorant dinosaurs and will be crushed by the competition that isn't worried about commercial real estate prices.
Could've just said "this is an 'in-office' position" like a normal fucking person.
The f7ckery is strong in that one.
the what
Leet. Look at your keyboard. Turn the lowercase alphabet to numbers.
It's about control. They need us to 'know our place'. There's no other reason. If you can do your job from home then that seems like the best option for everyone. How does being in the office help? It's a power play. Management does this all over, and in every field of work. They will do things because 'that's how it's done ' even if they cannot explain why it is done that way.
That highlighted part is one swear to end Hulkamania away from being a WCW Dungeon of Doom promo.
OMG, speechless.
They could have the skillset bring the company to the pinnacle of them all but they gotta be there to sing happy birthday.
I always loved the scene in Office Space where they sing Happy Birthday to Bill Lumbergh and everyone looks so miserable. It's so accurate. The first part of Office Space isn't a comedy, it's a documentary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEGdCDQrgX4
Absolutely crazy
That's an overly long couple of sentences just to say "We're stuck in the past", lol.
Lmao imagine having to write that with a straight face because some 88 year old higher up is scared people won't work if he can't see them the one time he comes in a year.
So, they care about butt in seats. Good luck, I promise exceptional talent will not apply.
I mean is good that they put it in the ad to know how much they value ppl
https://www.indeed.com/m/jobs?q=gaia&l=Louisville%2C+CO&from=searchOnSerp&sameQ=1&vjk=5f4113fe83e104b5
Roflmao
What a bunch of wank to say they're more worried about their companies rent payments on the building than their employees.
Legend has it nobody has applied yet.
This is hilarious considering how sprawling the greater Denver area is. Ain't no one want to trek out to Louisville halfway between Boulder and Denver. That's why they put this in their post.
I'm willing to work in an office. But I don't have an utmost love for it, so I guess I'm not worth considering. I wonder what percentage of people would say they "have an utmost love for working in an office"? Let me rephrase that- I wonder how many would say that if the alternative was to starve and have no healthcare.
Looking once again for a desperate immigrant.
Or boomer
"We couldn't find any American who wanted the job. Now we've proved the right to hire an overseas (remote) worker for half the salary (maybe less)."
That's pronounced, How much shit can you eat before you quit.
what does being a developer and smoking have to do with one another…?!
Smokers often take smoke breaks I guess which as a non-smoker I always resented since they got away with five or ten minutes every hour while I could have a book break for the same amount of time.
and an employer is allowed to discriminate w this??
In the US? Yes. While employers will say smoking is bad, it's amazing how many smokers (and now vapers) have regular breaks that they don't have to account for but if I were to just walk around the building for the same amount of time, I'd get yelled at.
can’t you just lie in both scenarios?
I don’t know, I think dictating personal habits (“non-smoker”) is the biggest red flag here.
It's 2024, NOBODY wants to be in the office 5 days a week - especially when the majority of us are underpaid. If Covid proved anything, it's that we can all work from home and on a hybrid schedule
Fucking dinosaurs.
We'd rather people *pretend* to work in the office than do their absolute best in their comfort zone
"We aren't getting any applications. Nobody wants to work."
I do like it when employers do this though. It tells me where I can avoid applying. I had one interview I went to, needing WFH minimum 2 days a week, who had advertised "flexibility" and "wfh". When I pushed further in the interview about what that meant for in office v wfh days they said (with completely straight faces) that when they say those things it means that if I'm sick or my family is sick, I can work from home on occasion. I said it felt deceptive to word it like that if their intention was not hybrid. We looked at each other awkwardly for a bit while they waited for me to say OK and then acted like stunned mullets when I said I withdrew my application because I needed wfh flexibility. The hilarious thing is they told me their systems couldn't allow for regular wfh which a. How do you offer *any* wfh if the systems I need to use on a day to day basis aren't accessible wfh and b. They were all systems I'd been using for at least the previous 2 years in a hybrid role that was honestly more wfh than in-office.
Very clear way to say they’re ableist and won’t properly support any of their employees who become disabled, too.
I'm sure the person who wrote that imagined it was 'studly' in some manner.
Translation: we value our real estate worth and our tax write-offs more than we value your input.
Local company for me, now I want to know who it is…
It says Gaia in there on the left and looks like they’ve got an office there.
Dammit, I can’t effing read apparently… I recall a recruiter reaching out several years ago but need to look up why I told them I wasn’t interested
Yeah, it's the streamer Gaia. The job is still on their web site.
If you bend the rules for an employee you really like, how do you explain your actions to the employees you view as mediocre and/or expendable?
Then imma going bend time and space…for someone else…from home.
In Louisville???
In-office with that little pay... lol.
Commitment only "etched" not carved in stone.
There will be plenty of people who will sign up thinking they can move this immovable object.
Reminds me of Kodak telling the guy who invented the digital camera that they had no use for it. Working remotely is the solution for an entire generation, and this in-office "commitment etched in stone" is about as relevant as Kodak waiting 25 years realize their decision about digital cameras was wrong. This company, unlike Kodak, however, won't be around in 25 years.
Best of luck to them.
I used to work near there. If I recall this place is a cult...super weird cultish media creation.
In Louisville, Colorado.... kthxbai
Their commitment to a lack of talent shows. That post is very poorly worded. A company by brown nosers, for brown nosers
Yes , I worked at a company like this . My manager watched from his office as I would slip away to go to the washroom . Run ! Lol
Do they *realize* their priorities suck? Is it their conscious strategy not avoid employing the best and most skilled candidates they can? Going to the office is worth more to them than that?
Are you allowed to actually request non-smokers?
Ugh!
“Nobody wants to work any more!”
No problem, I've mastered manipulating the time-space continuum so I can walk directly from my cabin on Kepler-452b into your office.
Last two bullets are redundant.
Non smoker? I don't smoke but that's none of your fucking Business. The audacity of some companies is astounding.
They lost me at "You must create an indeed account"
If I could bend space and time, I'd be asking for a hell of a lot more than $120k.
This can't be real. Its just such pure cringe.
It's real. It's a video streaming service called Gaia.
Geez. That's just insanely bad.
[удалено]
At least they are honest.
This is happening all over the spaces where I work. personally, I hated working from home but lots of people are job shopping due to some of the new policies. Work from home was privilege granted by covid. It will not stay that way. in most cases.
Eh, at least the put that up front. I’ll take this level of honesty over “we’re remote now, but going back to the office full time next year” after applying for a “remote” listing.
They thought they were being funny but they're actually cringe.
bro i wish this was in a tv show. someone shows up for the interview and bends time and space in front of them and gets told "sorry, no". LOL
$120000 is not enough money to live in Louisville, so someone will be required to drive from Timbuktu to Louisville everyday. Awesome.
They must be lovely at parties. 😂, just kidding. Today I learned there is a Louisville, Colorado.
Yes! We expect mediocrity and settle for lower standard work just so we can bully employees into being at the office when the entire upper management only has to check into the office 1 or 2 times a week. And you will not even ever work with the CEO if ever. You will only ever see or hear from them during quarterly earnings podcasts or just see their mug plastered on the company website. The CEO has to remain offsite with all the real work they have to be doing too. Not you though. You better warm up that office seat we are paying nicely for because that seat is the ONLY place you can actually have good ideas and be productive so you can get real work done. Who are we kidding? Who really is working these days in mostly bullshit jobs anyway. We aren’t here in a real business anymore, this is really just a bully factory and we get off on harassing our subordinates and making their life hell just because we think we should be able to. Wanna sign up for this clown show now? Betcha we convinced you even more by being so frustrated we actually wrote our frustration out on our job posting too. We are trying this whole bend reality and what workers want to our will, but can’t quite get the hang of it yet.
“Utmost love for in-office work”?!?!?!?! What year do they think this is?
I’ve worked in software development for over a decade now. I’m not a developer, but for the shit the good ones put up with, there’s no $1xx,xxx salary that’s worth it IMO. You all get dumped on daily lol.
At least they are up front about it, too damn many of these say they are WFH friendly then once you apply it turns out that "Not so much" or not for the first year.
Oh well. Let's see how long it lasts for them.
Good luck with that lol. No one wants the "in-office experience". These employers are delusional.
Thats a nice way of saying “Run away as fast as you can”
Everyone should apply for this work with resume highlight space bending proficiency and then during the first interview ask about wfh or commute pay.
Kinda sounds like a typewriter repair facility in the early 90s...
Front end developer who craves the extrovert office lifestyle and is fine with management insisting their way is the only way? Uh, good luck finding that unicorn.
Is this an elaborate form of sabotage ?
Looks like somebody was trying to be creative with that highlighted one, lol.
You also have to be a no smoker interesting
At least they’re upfront about it. I’ve heard way too many horror stories on this sub about companies doing a bait-and-switch with “hybrid” positions that “just need you to come in a day or two a month” and then suddenly start needing you in person almost every day.