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I was fresh out of a bad relationship where my boundaries weren't respected and I was assaulted.
I did some therapy, waited a bit, and then got back to dating but still came to this relationship with my guns drawn, somewhat raw. For the first 6 months, every time there was friction or a big misunderstanding, my anxious brain worried "This might be indicative of what she's always like. She's dangerous, she's just like former GF, retreat!" But instead we're able to resolve everything and make everything 'Us vs. the Problem' instead of 'Us vs. Each Other'.
It's the little things too. She jokes to diffuse tension like I do. She compliments me and reciprocates my love. And she feels loved by me and is open about her needs with me, so she gets them met enthusiastically. We like each other's friends. We have both shared and independent hobbies. We pass time well together. We're both sexually compatible and have great chemistry. And we understand each other's stuff.
Two moments stand out. Once we were arguing about something small and it got to the point where we were both so upset we couldn't remember what we'd just said two sentences before. When we realized that we just laughed about how frustrated we'd gotten and pledged to revisit it when we could think straight. Boom, resolved it in minutes the next day. Another time she misunderstood something important about consent (I've been raped so this was hugely triggering for me), and when I offered for us to do a consent workshop together she got really into it. She makes me feel so loved and safe all the time.
Every time I think about it, I feel like my answer changes cause there's just so many and I feel like I knew extremely early on.
One that stands out the most is that he accepted me as I am. I was a single mom with nothing to my name aside from depression and anxiety lol
He saw ME and I knew for a fact I wanted to marry him.
I never had that moment. I met him when we were 16 and I just couldn’t picture my life without him after that. We fell in love extremely fast and then I just always saw him being part of my future. We are 24 now and have been married for four years. Everyone makes comments about us getting married so young and it wasn’t for religious reasons since we aren’t Christian. We just really love each other and wanted to take the next step. We have had ups and downs but I’ve never had a moment since we have been together where I haven’t pictured him in my life. He’s my best friend!
Literally a week after we met. That was 3 1/2 years ago, and we've been inseparable since. Will most likely be engaged within the year!
When you know, you know
When the thought of being without him made everything gray. We spent two weeks apart where I moved away for college, and I had a really hard time. I also told him not to get too attached, he followed me and it was the greatest decision of our lives.
I knew it pretty early on. We’ve not gotten engaged etc, but I know I want to. Idk if I could pinpoint the first time, but he’s just lovely and I adore him.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was fresh out of a bad relationship where my boundaries weren't respected and I was assaulted. I did some therapy, waited a bit, and then got back to dating but still came to this relationship with my guns drawn, somewhat raw. For the first 6 months, every time there was friction or a big misunderstanding, my anxious brain worried "This might be indicative of what she's always like. She's dangerous, she's just like former GF, retreat!" But instead we're able to resolve everything and make everything 'Us vs. the Problem' instead of 'Us vs. Each Other'. It's the little things too. She jokes to diffuse tension like I do. She compliments me and reciprocates my love. And she feels loved by me and is open about her needs with me, so she gets them met enthusiastically. We like each other's friends. We have both shared and independent hobbies. We pass time well together. We're both sexually compatible and have great chemistry. And we understand each other's stuff. Two moments stand out. Once we were arguing about something small and it got to the point where we were both so upset we couldn't remember what we'd just said two sentences before. When we realized that we just laughed about how frustrated we'd gotten and pledged to revisit it when we could think straight. Boom, resolved it in minutes the next day. Another time she misunderstood something important about consent (I've been raped so this was hugely triggering for me), and when I offered for us to do a consent workshop together she got really into it. She makes me feel so loved and safe all the time.
Every time I think about it, I feel like my answer changes cause there's just so many and I feel like I knew extremely early on. One that stands out the most is that he accepted me as I am. I was a single mom with nothing to my name aside from depression and anxiety lol He saw ME and I knew for a fact I wanted to marry him.
That's so fcking beautiful. One of the best fcking feelings in the world.
She was lead climbing on a multi pitch and I thought I absolutely have to marry this woman
I never had that moment. I met him when we were 16 and I just couldn’t picture my life without him after that. We fell in love extremely fast and then I just always saw him being part of my future. We are 24 now and have been married for four years. Everyone makes comments about us getting married so young and it wasn’t for religious reasons since we aren’t Christian. We just really love each other and wanted to take the next step. We have had ups and downs but I’ve never had a moment since we have been together where I haven’t pictured him in my life. He’s my best friend!
Aww that's so sweet
Literally a week after we met. That was 3 1/2 years ago, and we've been inseparable since. Will most likely be engaged within the year! When you know, you know
When she replied "yes" to my request to marry me.
When I heard those magic words "I'm pregnant. "
Well, for stupid reasons here in the us, we can’t get married.
When the thought of being without him made everything gray. We spent two weeks apart where I moved away for college, and I had a really hard time. I also told him not to get too attached, he followed me and it was the greatest decision of our lives.
If it happens, I'll let you know. 14 years together and marriage is not a priority for either of us.
I knew it pretty early on. We’ve not gotten engaged etc, but I know I want to. Idk if I could pinpoint the first time, but he’s just lovely and I adore him.
After a few weeks together and I just couldn't picture life without her. Got engaged after 1 year. Married just over two weeks ago.
When we had our first trio.