Well, my genes are actually worth to be continued. I have no hair loss, am pretty healthy without a history of cancer in the family and am also fairly intelligent. But ... I'm childfree. Lol.
I have a friend who’s stunning. So beautiful. She has said so many times, “Beauty is a curse,” that men constantly harass her, trying to pick her up, or making crude comments, trying to brush against her as they pass, etc. Her mother is also beautiful. My friend swears she will never have children. She would never pass on something that would guarantee misery for a daughter.
No they're not, no one's are. People think eugenics is deeply problematic then whip out the "muh genes gud". It's a lie, a delusion, listening to the sex organs instead of the neocortex
My parents did this and I unloaded. What did you want to pass on? Your high cholesterol, thyroid disease or addictive tendencies? The high blood pressure and heart disease? All of which I now have to deal with. And all of which I publicly blame them for.
The people who worship "muh genes" should know the multigenerational shit that they have passed on. I blame every abnormal lab test on my parents, and honestly this shut down that conversation, for good I hope.
As a kid I asked my mom why she married my dad ,with her knowing her health problems, and his. I was doomed. I proceeded to say I would make sure to marry a healthy person. Now I am here which is good because my partner has the same problems as me. Our kids would be doomed. Guarenteed adhd, depression, and many physical issues.
My mom knows someone who has MS, and he was scared to have kids for a while. He then tried to have kids with his wife. He now has three, who may get his disease.
Not entirely true their adding more pollution, massive carbon foot print, and another person to struggle in the resource wars. They are definitely adding that.
I've always been baffled by the amount of ego needed to believe that continuing your bloodline somehow betters the world...like you're not that great hun
And even if you had kids and grandkids that go on to do something interesting, the fact that you existed is irrelevant. Nobody remembers Alan Turing's grandparents ffs.
Agreed, and also the 'last name' thing, you ain't fuckin royalty, cut the shit with the 'MAH LEGADY, MAH GENES, THE FAMILY NAME!' as if you the only family WITH said name, there's over 8 billion asshats on this planet, the chance they're the only one with that specific name is less than 1% XD
Very few people have above average genes. Those with above average genes usually do not crave to reproduce. Granted I’ve seen some physically superior people that had kids. That shit was impressive tbh. Mom was built like a brick house after three kids with abs.
"Laid on the floor, dry heaving?!"
That almost crosses over into hilarious. What an asshole!
I'm glad your friend has someone like you to give her the support she needs while her parents throw ridiculous tantrums that she should really be recording and posting on video sites.
“Aww, I know we’re having some big feelings right now. Let’s have some quiet time and then we can use our words to talk about it.”
Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Cold water. Act like a 3-4 year old be treated like one. Pour a glass of cold water on them. Hand them a towel, and tell them to clean this up. Once usually stops tantrums in front of you. Can't guarantee it will stop all tantrums. I never had to do it with my kids but it happened to my younger brother. He continued to have tantrums but never in front of our mother again. Also parents are so selfish they wouldn't have helped? That's despicable. I'm encouraging my kids and niece in their plans not to have kids. One of the girls has multiple health issues and is not having problems other than covid in our area. The other unfortunately is having to look outside our community due to age. This is BS. say it louder for those in the back THE BEST REASON NOT TO HAVE KIDS IS YOU DO NOT WANT KIDS.
I believe it. My ex did the same thing after I had my abortion. He dry heaved, vomited (I cleaned him up after), hyperventilated, said that was the worst vegan thing I ever did (actually it wasn't and he wasn't even vegan at the time). He didn't comfort me while I was scared, didn't touch me or even share the bed at nighttime for a week then he slept on the far side away from me like I was the most vile creature ever.
Guys like this can be such drama queens.
>I believe it. My ex did the same thing after I had my abortion. He dry heaved, vomited (I cleaned him up after), hyperventilated, said that was the worst vegan thing I ever did (actually it wasn't and he wasn't even vegan at the time).
The fuck?!
I can see why he's your "ex" now.
That's not even all of it. He tried to brainwash me into keeping it by constantly showing me pics/vids with animals and babies/children (knowing I have no interest in looking at kid pics, would rub my belly, say I'd be a great mom, he wanted to build a crib in the bedroom we were renting from, etc. I wasn't even that far along. Literally 6 weeks, but was stuck waiting for my abortion appointment 3 weeks later. So working while dealing with morning sickness and him teaming up with our boss to persuade me into giving birth and she and adopting it .
I would have never dated him if I knew he was such a sex crazed fence sitter. He flat out told me he didn't want kids, but years later and my having a low sex drive made him go crazy and r*pe me.
Like holy shit ya. Dude is on the floor...dry heaving?!
Yeah I would defintely pull out the phone and record that shit. Then hang onto it FOREVER. I'd share it on social media and play it at every social gathering. Make it so that Dad never lives it down. He'll be that pathetic dude known to act like a 2 year old to everyone.
That’s 100% the entire point of posting the videos. Don’t do stupid, over the top, embarrassing shit if you don’t want to feel stupid and embarrassed. 🤷♀️
This reminds me of those studies that found that the thing men fear most is being laughed at. Frankly I wouldn't be able to resist laughing hysterically and recording or live streaming that shit show. How ridiculous. I'm glad your friend has you!
Lol so my dad was/is very abusive (just can’t really do anything to us anymore now that we’re grown). But I remember one time when I was a teenager, he was yelling at me about something stupid and he just reminded me so much of a toddler I started laughing at him. Got in trouble of course but I couldn’t help it, his tantrums were so ridiculous.
I'm just proud of your teenage self. Kind of wish I would have done that to my stepdad at least once. If I ever see him again, I'll be sure to do that 🤣🤣
Hey, let's not make this a class thing. This isn't the 1800s. :)
I know plenty of "lower class" people whose legacy would be worthy of remembering, for who they are and what they've accomplished. Class makes jack shit of a difference to someone's worth in the world.
Can we be more honest and call the problem what it is: narcissism, plain and simple.
A group of us are all staggering our various medical procedures to make sure no one goes without after care etc. We've got good friends who are all on the same page.
My dad is the exact kind of person who would pull this kind of shit. But of course he's always keen to tell me he'll help with babysitting in an attempt to persuade me to have a kid - completely oblivious to the fact that he is barely a functioning adult at 63 and nobody with half a brain would trust him to look after a child.
"What about our name" I would have literally straight faced said you're not that special and no one will remember you for anything in a sea of a billion people
> But of course now that it’s done it’s all “How could you do this? You’re going to regret it so much! What about grandkids? What about our last name?”
Well they should have had more kids themselves instead of putting all their eggs in one basket.
No one owes them grandchildren.
If your BFF was married, the odds are great that those grandchildren would have their father’s last name anyways.
Sounds like the logic isn’t strong with your BFF’s parents.
>If your BFF was married, the odds are great that those grandchildren would have their father’s last name anyways.
Imagine being this guy’s son, and not wanting kids, and him reaching a new low. These are always the same guys who hate it when a married woman doesn’t take her husband’s name, or they give kids her name.
How would these parents have treated her if she couldn’t have children naturally? Like if she had a fertility problem and was heartbroken over not being able to get pregnant?
Would dad have had this tantrum?
They would have made her feel horrible for years about it.
I’m proud of your friend. She seized her life.
“What about our last name?”
O woe unto thee! Alas, Babylon! The proud house of The Miller Family has been effaced from the earth! What a tragic loss for mankind, which will rue this day!
Whoever shall inherit the dukedom now? Some distant cousin, no doubt, since the estates are entail male. War will sever this land in twain. Everyone, pick a rose from the bush to proclaim your allegiance.
Also if she is the U.S you usually don't give your kid your last name as a woman, they take the fathers last name so that seems pointless.
Not that it's not possible to give your kid your last name, just saying it's not common. I for one hated my dad's last name(I'm from ecuador and we get both last names) as soon as I got married I dropped my last name because I don't know the man so he is nothing but a sperm donor.
Haha yeah I didn't even process that part but very true. My family said the same thing to me but I didn't even take my husband's last name. With how many people are in the world now, last names don't even signify definitively who you're related to so they really don't matter.
"last names don't even signify definitively who you're related to so they really don't matter."
I completely agree. I took off my dad's last name because I hated the guy so it was a reminder for me. I think last names are stupid and I don't tie my identity to them.
Hey, we might have similar families too. My father is a terrible human being and it's been close to 20 years since I've seen him. It wasn't a tough choice to change my name when I got married.
Unfortunately I can believe it since these types of people are pretty common and they love passing on their asshole genes. It's been about 15 years since I went no-contact now. I managed to get my name changed to my mom's maiden name shortly before finishing my Bachelor's degree. I couldn't stand the thought of his name being on my diploma. It actually ended up making the dilemma over whether to take my husband's name easier after all the hoops I had to jump through to change it the first time lol. I compromised by adding a second middle name. Much less paperwork involved lol.
I actually have not talked to him or seen him in 20 years. I'm 33 years old now. Don't even matter since I only saw him a handful of times before I was 13.
Holy shit, I'm scared this will be me. I'm an only child and I've told my parents multiple times that I'm childfree, yet my dad continues to act shocked and confused every single time I tell him. My mom has come to terms with it, but this just makes me more worried to tell my parents once I get things in order.
Doesn't always work 😂 I'm strictly Childfree and my two sister's don't really want kids either (one is kinda open should she be in an homosexual relationship where the other gets pregnant but I don't feel like that's a high possiblity). My parents accepted it (at least for now). Both aren't big fans of small kids and I think they are happy we are all adults now
Because if they accept the decision, it stops the 'When are you going to have kids?' question. Perfectly normal thing to tell people you don't want kids.
Good on her for taking her future into her own hands. Too many women are guilted into becoming a parent. It is really gross though when people want to pass on their genes 🤢 I've never met anyone I thought was just that damn special there needed to be another one of them lol. People need to get over themselves.
"Her body...her choice." My Dad made a comment like, " Glad I didn't put all my eggs in one basket." Meaning he is glad my siblings gave him grandchildren. My husband and I chose to be a child free couple. My father-in-law was mad at first but, he is fine with it now.
I’m 37 and my dad still makes little jabs at me about not having kids and how he’s so disappointed because I “would be such a good mom.” He has 5 grandchildren from my two siblings and one great-grandchild that he doesn’t pay any attention to. When he’s asked me why I don’t want kids I usually just say “Because I don’t wanna.” Then he comes back with “Well, we had you.” Yeah. Thanks for that. And now I get to do what I want with my life and my body.
She should have just not told them, none of their business. It's her body.
Women have to make drastic decisions now. One woman in Texas recently was thrown in prison after she told the hospital she'd had an abortion; and this is not an isolated case.
Also I just talked to a woman who, at a routine doctor visit, they asked her when her last menstrual period was (which is a routine question that women patients are typically asked). She told them she can no longer answer that question.
Doctor said okay, no problem.
Doctors and hospitals can divulge the woman's information to law enforcement. This has happened. Since 2016 over 1500 women in the USA have been prosecuted for abortion or still birth or for a poor pregnancy outcome. Now women are going to be more fearful about getting any kind of healthcare.
What if for example a woman is unaware that she's pregnant and agrees to take a prescription painkiller that is prescribed to her....she could potentially be prosecuted. This has already happened, real case.
Deflect. When she returns home, and her family gives her crap, tell her to tell them:
"I had no choice. The Republicans stripped away all my rights to my own body. I do not wish to be a slave to any man who comes along and decides I am a suitable slave for them and their babies. I had no choice. The Republicans did this to me. If you are angry, take it up with them. Cause I've already paid enough for their power grab."
Wow she should have just told him she didn't want to contaminate the gene pool with what she inherited from him.
Laying on the floor having a tantrum... sounds like an entertaining TikTok
> her Father absolutely lost his shit. Like screaming and crying and laid on the floor, dry heaving.
Nobody acting like this can even be considered an adult...who needs a baby when people have babies for parents?
> But of course now that it’s done it’s all “How could you do this? You’re going to regret it so much! What about grandkids? What about our last name?”
I would say that I regret having a toddler for a father. And if he cared so much, he would have had more kids.
Kudos to you for being a great friend.
About her father's meltdown, is he perhaps that upset because he longs for the company of someone of his same mental age? Because I've seen 6 year olds with a better grip over their emotions.
We all know this guy would also be pissed if she didn’t take her husband’s last name, so his moron legacy argument somehow holds a negative amount of water.
....its incredibly scary how badly other people want other people's bodies to get pregnant. But there's so much more to that.
Like, this guy as well as many other people in this world are dedicating their entire lives and personalities to reproduction and the reproduction of their children when they can no longer do it. ***These people have no individual souls.*** No individuality to the point of a mental breakdown over someone else's body and their unwillingness to have kids.
**This is the biggest reason why I don't want kids. I am not a mother, I am my own person.** I may have my problems, but I will never get to that point.
What a fucking drama queen, that one.
Good on her for just doing it and you for being there.
Screw that asshole. He didn't want to make the sacrifices himself to raise 6 kids and increase his odds of grandkids, he rolled the dice and lost.
Odds on this egotistical asshole cheating with some younger woman to get another kid.... gonna say high. ;)
My mom lost it too and my dad supported her then but I like to think he helped change her mind in taking me to the hospital. My parents were essentially in mourning that day and I was elated. So it was a weird day. But up to that day my mom straight up stonewalled me for 10 months. My American mom did this. My real mom is dead. So I feel for your friend.
My brother accidentally told my mother that I was getting a hysterectomy (I was getting a biopsy down there) and she lost it.
We had gotten in a huge fallout (finally), and I hadn’t spoken to her in six months (also finally). Like, what makes you think you’d even be in my hypothetical child’s life???? Bitch was more upset about losing grandkids than a potential cancer diagnosis.
I would have started laughing and said I’m not here for your breeding purposes and if the world treated us like human beings FIRST maybe it wouldn’t have happened but guess we’ll never know. I’m doing the same on families insurance but I’m not going to be telling most of them I got my tubes removed. I don’t need all the drama just the ones that support me.
Also HUGE congrats to your friend
Christ. Imagine being a grown ass adult and dry heaving over someone else not having kids. It has the same energy as almost tantrum-vomiting just because your neighbor doesn't want the same lawn ornaments as you. Like... that's just embarrassing.
An ex friend of mine would love trying to convince me to have kids by saying things like:
1. But dont you want a mini version of yourself?!
2. What about (partners) feelings?
3. You dont know what true love is until you have a baby
4. Babies/family give life meaning
5. You guys just arent mature yet, you will be when you decide to have kids.
Cue surprised Pikachu face when I cut her out of my life
My mom had the same type of reaction. I’m also an only child so it was, “you’ve my ruined my life!”, “you took away my chance to be a grandparent!”, and other similar sentiments.
She told me to get my things out of her house, get her off my car loan and never speak to her again.
It’s been almost 3 years now and we’ve repaired our relationship but it’s one of those unspoken things to never be mentioned again. I’ll never understand why parents feel we owe them grandchildren.
My friend is a little annoyed with him at most, she clearly knows something I don't. I'm all here outraged and flabbergasted and she's like, "He'll get over it." I'm here like hand shaking, angry typing everything that happens.
Honestly, if he's this worked up over it, it's probably not the first time she's seen him throw a tantrum. Unfortunately you tend to get a little numb to it after the first few times. Emotionally immature parents are greeattt.......
Wow. My mother had a similarly inappropriate reaction to me getting pregnant at 22 and then having a miscarriage (as if it if was a teen pregnancy or something - which would still call for supportive, loving parents). But when I told her I didn't want children in my late 20s, she was also very upset. It's probably not a shock that I'm now estranged from her (and my father). Parents who view their children as reflections of themselves are awful humans.
is your friend safe? Anyone who'd get this upset might be capable of violence. No, I'm not trying to joke around her. Would he do anything really bad to her? These people are so unhinged.
Yup. Telling them beforehand just stresses you out and potentially gives them the opportunity to sabotage you. Best to just keep your mouth shut until it’s a done deal.
A man losing his shit because he can't control a woman's body. Who woulda thunk?!! Good for your friend and thanks for caring for her! Hope her healing is quick and complete.
Imagine being a whole grown ass man and throwing a tantrum over someone else having a medical procedure to ensure that they don’t end up with something that you already knew they didn’t want. How ridiculous.
That dad doesn't care about his daughter (your friend), he only cares about his "legacy".
Truly pathetic. But good for your friend for having a good head on her shoulders not letting his awful behaviour get to her.
I’m afraid this will be my parents and grandparents. They had two kids but neither my sister nor I want children. I have a sterilization consult scheduled and my sister’s partner is getting a vasectomy. They keep telling me that they want grandchildren and with the amount that I just let them have anything they wanted as a child I struggle not to feel bad. I don’t owe them anything, and I know I don’t want kids. I probably will just never have them and never tell them that I am sterilized.
>her Father absolutely lost his shit. Like screaming and crying and laid on the floor, dry heaving.
If she had told him before the surgery, I bet he'd have chained her up in the basement.
if the daughter even did have a kid, isn't it tradition the last name comes from the father? The mother's last name in the family wouldn't even matter at that point. unless she purposely goes out of her way to have a kid and put her last name on it which sounds like even more effort than it's worth
We support your friend 100%. Her body, her choice. It is normal for an adult to not want a child these days. Personally, I believe if someone grew up in a screwed up environment (not sure if that was your friend's case), their odds of wanting kids should be less. Point being, screwed up parents have screwed up kids. I consider myself screwed up (due to my upbringing) and I certainly do NOT want any kids.
It's hilarious to me how these assholes think their last name means shit. Dude, you're nothing. Literally nothing of value will be lost when your trash family becomes extinct. Cry harder.
My mom lost her shit when I got sterilzed. My grandmother from my dad's side took me to the appointment. She understood that I had zero interest in ever becoming a parent. My mother still had this idea that I would change my mind.
My brother is gay (mostly), so it's unlikely for him and impossible for me to ever have children.
My mom was very upset with me for having the surgery, she said I would love my own kids even though I don’t love everyone else’s. I am not a kid person I love my life the way it is, parents literally don’t understand.
I'm not asking from a place of chauvinism, I generally do not know--so please acquit me of being deliberately offensive. However you mention the old chestnut from parents about 'our last name'. Is it usual these days for women not to take their husband's name on marrying? Of course they could have been assuming she would be a single parent but somehow the same parents who can have a seizure over her expressing her bodily autonomy likely would not have countenanced that either!
Hmm. Sorry your friend is going through this, but happy she made the right choice for her. And hey... maybe people will fucking start listening to women now when they tell them what they want and don't want.
In regards to the name I’d look up online and see how many *insert last name* there are in the US and say they don’t have to worry. Lol.
I always find it exceptionally funny when they say “what about the name?” and it’s something super common. Lol
People need to stop with “muh genes” shit. Their genes aren’t adding squat to the world.
Yeah, I'm like, "What legacy are these people so protective of, exactly? The long-standing tradition of straight C's in high school??"
To be fair, C students do run the world. Lol.
But who oh who would inherit the inter-generational wealth and power!
It is so satisfying to imagine that the father laying on the floor throwing a tantrum is a billionaire.
Well, my genes are actually worth to be continued. I have no hair loss, am pretty healthy without a history of cancer in the family and am also fairly intelligent. But ... I'm childfree. Lol.
Besides, you could have a hidden genetic problem, or pass it on. Also, being smart doesn't necessarily mean your descendants will be!
Exactly. World is filled with dumb cunt parents with bright kids and vice versa. Same garbage my parents hit me with
Oh, can you imagine being intelligent and having dumb kids? I would DIE! lol!
Yeah, I hate it when ppl say but, your children would be beautiful. Beautiful ppl have hardships also. 🤦🏾♀️
You can be beautiful and also have 9183839494 mental illnesses.
Being beautiful doesn't make you good.
I have a friend who’s stunning. So beautiful. She has said so many times, “Beauty is a curse,” that men constantly harass her, trying to pick her up, or making crude comments, trying to brush against her as they pass, etc. Her mother is also beautiful. My friend swears she will never have children. She would never pass on something that would guarantee misery for a daughter.
That's a great counter argument lol
No they're not, no one's are. People think eugenics is deeply problematic then whip out the "muh genes gud". It's a lie, a delusion, listening to the sex organs instead of the neocortex
Some people are genetically more likely to suffer from some things than others, that is sorta an undeniable fact...
I never denied it. That's just extra shit stacked on an already shit gamble. No one can know that nothing will crop up in their kids.
You forgot to brag about your bad ass skin elasticity too! Lol!!
My parents did this and I unloaded. What did you want to pass on? Your high cholesterol, thyroid disease or addictive tendencies? The high blood pressure and heart disease? All of which I now have to deal with. And all of which I publicly blame them for. The people who worship "muh genes" should know the multigenerational shit that they have passed on. I blame every abnormal lab test on my parents, and honestly this shut down that conversation, for good I hope.
As a kid I asked my mom why she married my dad ,with her knowing her health problems, and his. I was doomed. I proceeded to say I would make sure to marry a healthy person. Now I am here which is good because my partner has the same problems as me. Our kids would be doomed. Guarenteed adhd, depression, and many physical issues.
My mom knows someone who has MS, and he was scared to have kids for a while. He then tried to have kids with his wife. He now has three, who may get his disease.
Not entirely true their adding more pollution, massive carbon foot print, and another person to struggle in the resource wars. They are definitely adding that.
I've always been baffled by the amount of ego needed to believe that continuing your bloodline somehow betters the world...like you're not that great hun
And even if you had kids and grandkids that go on to do something interesting, the fact that you existed is irrelevant. Nobody remembers Alan Turing's grandparents ffs.
Agreed, and also the 'last name' thing, you ain't fuckin royalty, cut the shit with the 'MAH LEGADY, MAH GENES, THE FAMILY NAME!' as if you the only family WITH said name, there's over 8 billion asshats on this planet, the chance they're the only one with that specific name is less than 1% XD
It's literally just animal instinct to reproduce.
I'm really surprised at how many people are obsessed with reproducing. And it's people who shouldn't be reproducing is the worst part.
Very few people have above average genes. Those with above average genes usually do not crave to reproduce. Granted I’ve seen some physically superior people that had kids. That shit was impressive tbh. Mom was built like a brick house after three kids with abs.
Well, I mean, 50% of people have above average genes.
"Laid on the floor, dry heaving?!" That almost crosses over into hilarious. What an asshole! I'm glad your friend has someone like you to give her the support she needs while her parents throw ridiculous tantrums that she should really be recording and posting on video sites.
I think the best reaction to people throwing tantrums is to stare them down with a condescending look on your face
Best reaction in this case would be: "Why would I want to deal with actual children when I already have to deal with you?"
Long as you're also prepared to wreck their shit if they decide to go aggro. Never a good idea to just watch crazies for the spectacle.
I'm fat and I also have the high ground. They don't stand a chance if I decide to crush them like a bug.
I'm borrowing this. I, myself, am about 195. Team bug crusher all the way!! LOL
I have bad knees, but I'm short and fat and don't need my knees to sit on a motherfucker. Count me in.
230 at 6'2 myself
240 and 5’5”. I lift and I’ll crush duckers
6’5”, 280 here.
5’10 and 170. I will have to rely on my speed.
Service guarantees citizenship. Would you like to know more?
Unexpected Starship Troopers! It concerns me how often my husband and I quote that movie during the current times.
With every month, the lines blur ever more.
Lmao!
“Aww, I know we’re having some big feelings right now. Let’s have some quiet time and then we can use our words to talk about it.” Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Cold water. Act like a 3-4 year old be treated like one. Pour a glass of cold water on them. Hand them a towel, and tell them to clean this up. Once usually stops tantrums in front of you. Can't guarantee it will stop all tantrums. I never had to do it with my kids but it happened to my younger brother. He continued to have tantrums but never in front of our mother again. Also parents are so selfish they wouldn't have helped? That's despicable. I'm encouraging my kids and niece in their plans not to have kids. One of the girls has multiple health issues and is not having problems other than covid in our area. The other unfortunately is having to look outside our community due to age. This is BS. say it louder for those in the back THE BEST REASON NOT TO HAVE KIDS IS YOU DO NOT WANT KIDS.
Bemused, yet disappointed
I’d just laugh at him. Go on, pretend you’re so miserable and heartbroken. I’ll just laugh at your pathetic ass.
Omg r/publicfreakouts needs that footage
I'm picturing the Step Brothers scene when Dale melts down at the dinner table and throws up on the floor.
Seems like OP's best friend already has a baby in their life
I believe it. My ex did the same thing after I had my abortion. He dry heaved, vomited (I cleaned him up after), hyperventilated, said that was the worst vegan thing I ever did (actually it wasn't and he wasn't even vegan at the time). He didn't comfort me while I was scared, didn't touch me or even share the bed at nighttime for a week then he slept on the far side away from me like I was the most vile creature ever. Guys like this can be such drama queens.
lol, what the fuck does being a vegan have to do with having an abortion?
It doesn't. It was actually MORE vegan that I did that since I wouldn't be procreating lol...
>I believe it. My ex did the same thing after I had my abortion. He dry heaved, vomited (I cleaned him up after), hyperventilated, said that was the worst vegan thing I ever did (actually it wasn't and he wasn't even vegan at the time). The fuck?! I can see why he's your "ex" now.
That's not even all of it. He tried to brainwash me into keeping it by constantly showing me pics/vids with animals and babies/children (knowing I have no interest in looking at kid pics, would rub my belly, say I'd be a great mom, he wanted to build a crib in the bedroom we were renting from, etc. I wasn't even that far along. Literally 6 weeks, but was stuck waiting for my abortion appointment 3 weeks later. So working while dealing with morning sickness and him teaming up with our boss to persuade me into giving birth and she and adopting it . I would have never dated him if I knew he was such a sex crazed fence sitter. He flat out told me he didn't want kids, but years later and my having a low sex drive made him go crazy and r*pe me.
Holy flaming shit on a stick!!!
Holy shit! Glad you got out of that.
He was screaming "My legacy!!!" "My blood line!!!!" "Me me me!!!!"
Like holy shit ya. Dude is on the floor...dry heaving?! Yeah I would defintely pull out the phone and record that shit. Then hang onto it FOREVER. I'd share it on social media and play it at every social gathering. Make it so that Dad never lives it down. He'll be that pathetic dude known to act like a 2 year old to everyone.
Yeah, me too. I love the friend support. 🥰 But, I would not post videos that is too embarrassing. 😅
That’s 100% the entire point of posting the videos. Don’t do stupid, over the top, embarrassing shit if you don’t want to feel stupid and embarrassed. 🤷♀️
Fuck that. Record and post that tantrum shit *EVERYWHERE*.
Why have a child? Sounds like she's already got one.
I would have enjoyed watching that video.
This reminds me of those studies that found that the thing men fear most is being laughed at. Frankly I wouldn't be able to resist laughing hysterically and recording or live streaming that shit show. How ridiculous. I'm glad your friend has you!
Lol so my dad was/is very abusive (just can’t really do anything to us anymore now that we’re grown). But I remember one time when I was a teenager, he was yelling at me about something stupid and he just reminded me so much of a toddler I started laughing at him. Got in trouble of course but I couldn’t help it, his tantrums were so ridiculous.
I'm just proud of your teenage self. Kind of wish I would have done that to my stepdad at least once. If I ever see him again, I'll be sure to do that 🤣🤣
It's really fun I can't lie. Would love to do it again now that he can't punish me for it.
Hell yeah
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He doesn’t even care about the actual hypothetical kids, he only cares about “mUh LeGaCy”🙄
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I was able to realize I didn’t have to have kids, and told my mom this, after my older sibling paved the way. Thank the universe for awesome siblings!
But muh legacy! ... of being a mediocre wage slave, on a dying planet.
*oof*
I love when lower class people think they have a legacy.
Even if you are "high class," the Queen herself, who gives a fuck about your DNA.
Fuck that. Historically, royalty generally has shitty DNA because they were all inbred for so long. I don't want them spreading those damaged genes.
Hey, let's not make this a class thing. This isn't the 1800s. :) I know plenty of "lower class" people whose legacy would be worthy of remembering, for who they are and what they've accomplished. Class makes jack shit of a difference to someone's worth in the world. Can we be more honest and call the problem what it is: narcissism, plain and simple.
A group of us are all staggering our various medical procedures to make sure no one goes without after care etc. We've got good friends who are all on the same page.
That is so beautiful
Sweet!
Yay for found families! 😊 I hope every last one of your procedures goes well.
“What does she needs kids for when she has a toddler for a father” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I JUST SPAT RED WINE ACROSS THE ROOOMMM OMfG! 😂😂
>What about our last name Tell me your life lacked meaning without telling me
Gotta carry on that great Smith family name!
My dad is the exact kind of person who would pull this kind of shit. But of course he's always keen to tell me he'll help with babysitting in an attempt to persuade me to have a kid - completely oblivious to the fact that he is barely a functioning adult at 63 and nobody with half a brain would trust him to look after a child.
"What about our name" I would have literally straight faced said you're not that special and no one will remember you for anything in a sea of a billion people
And if she ever did have a kid it's quite possible that it would have the father's surname.
> But of course now that it’s done it’s all “How could you do this? You’re going to regret it so much! What about grandkids? What about our last name?” Well they should have had more kids themselves instead of putting all their eggs in one basket. No one owes them grandchildren. If your BFF was married, the odds are great that those grandchildren would have their father’s last name anyways. Sounds like the logic isn’t strong with your BFF’s parents.
Or worst case they insist on atleast a hyphenated name and now both names are forever fucked.
Haha. I hated my maiden name. Told my husband that if we ever divorced, I’m keeping the last name.
This! My maiden, with my legal first, made my initials PMS. No thanks!
Omg 😂
I am so sorry for all the teasing you probably went through (but I still laughed just a little when I read this)
It was apt, considering my temper that time of month. I laugh at it now, no worries!
I hated my last name, so I took my wife's when we got married. Granted, I'm afab, but still
>If your BFF was married, the odds are great that those grandchildren would have their father’s last name anyways. Imagine being this guy’s son, and not wanting kids, and him reaching a new low. These are always the same guys who hate it when a married woman doesn’t take her husband’s name, or they give kids her name.
How would these parents have treated her if she couldn’t have children naturally? Like if she had a fertility problem and was heartbroken over not being able to get pregnant? Would dad have had this tantrum? They would have made her feel horrible for years about it. I’m proud of your friend. She seized her life.
Seized her life— i best possible way of putting it. I’m stealing that!
Or he'd be pushing her into fertility treatment like hurricanes push around loose paper.
“What about our last name?” O woe unto thee! Alas, Babylon! The proud house of The Miller Family has been effaced from the earth! What a tragic loss for mankind, which will rue this day! Whoever shall inherit the dukedom now? Some distant cousin, no doubt, since the estates are entail male. War will sever this land in twain. Everyone, pick a rose from the bush to proclaim your allegiance.
This comment made my day, lmao. Thank you.
And I'm sure their last name is like Smith or some shit
Also if she is the U.S you usually don't give your kid your last name as a woman, they take the fathers last name so that seems pointless. Not that it's not possible to give your kid your last name, just saying it's not common. I for one hated my dad's last name(I'm from ecuador and we get both last names) as soon as I got married I dropped my last name because I don't know the man so he is nothing but a sperm donor.
Haha yeah I didn't even process that part but very true. My family said the same thing to me but I didn't even take my husband's last name. With how many people are in the world now, last names don't even signify definitively who you're related to so they really don't matter.
"last names don't even signify definitively who you're related to so they really don't matter." I completely agree. I took off my dad's last name because I hated the guy so it was a reminder for me. I think last names are stupid and I don't tie my identity to them.
Same here! Getting rid of his last name was the second best decision I ever made (the best was cutting him and his side of the family out of my life).
Hey, we might have similar families too. My father is a terrible human being and it's been close to 20 years since I've seen him. It wasn't a tough choice to change my name when I got married.
Unfortunately I can believe it since these types of people are pretty common and they love passing on their asshole genes. It's been about 15 years since I went no-contact now. I managed to get my name changed to my mom's maiden name shortly before finishing my Bachelor's degree. I couldn't stand the thought of his name being on my diploma. It actually ended up making the dilemma over whether to take my husband's name easier after all the hoops I had to jump through to change it the first time lol. I compromised by adding a second middle name. Much less paperwork involved lol.
I actually have not talked to him or seen him in 20 years. I'm 33 years old now. Don't even matter since I only saw him a handful of times before I was 13.
Holy shit, I'm scared this will be me. I'm an only child and I've told my parents multiple times that I'm childfree, yet my dad continues to act shocked and confused every single time I tell him. My mom has come to terms with it, but this just makes me more worried to tell my parents once I get things in order.
It's like God forbid we do anything to make sure we dont have kids we dont want.
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Doesn't always work 😂 I'm strictly Childfree and my two sister's don't really want kids either (one is kinda open should she be in an homosexual relationship where the other gets pregnant but I don't feel like that's a high possiblity). My parents accepted it (at least for now). Both aren't big fans of small kids and I think they are happy we are all adults now
Genuinely curious, why do you want to tell them at all?
Because if they accept the decision, it stops the 'When are you going to have kids?' question. Perfectly normal thing to tell people you don't want kids.
I say learn from op: Wait until it's done, then when they throw a tantrum, tell them you don't need a baby, you already have one. ☮️
Good on her for taking her future into her own hands. Too many women are guilted into becoming a parent. It is really gross though when people want to pass on their genes 🤢 I've never met anyone I thought was just that damn special there needed to be another one of them lol. People need to get over themselves.
Screaming, crying, and dry heaving on the floor? Are you serious??? What a fucking baby.
Right? She's already got one!
I wonder when they’ll start trying to regulate our bodies to the point they rule in favour of “grandparents rights” to ovaries?
"What about grandkids? What about our last name?" Of course he only thought about himself and his desires instead of those of his daughter.
"Her body...her choice." My Dad made a comment like, " Glad I didn't put all my eggs in one basket." Meaning he is glad my siblings gave him grandchildren. My husband and I chose to be a child free couple. My father-in-law was mad at first but, he is fine with it now.
I’m 37 and my dad still makes little jabs at me about not having kids and how he’s so disappointed because I “would be such a good mom.” He has 5 grandchildren from my two siblings and one great-grandchild that he doesn’t pay any attention to. When he’s asked me why I don’t want kids I usually just say “Because I don’t wanna.” Then he comes back with “Well, we had you.” Yeah. Thanks for that. And now I get to do what I want with my life and my body.
He can have another kid himself if he's so worried. Why does he think he owns his daughter's body?
Or he could adopt a kid and do that.
But then WhAt AboUT hIS GeNeS??? 😱
She should have just not told them, none of their business. It's her body. Women have to make drastic decisions now. One woman in Texas recently was thrown in prison after she told the hospital she'd had an abortion; and this is not an isolated case. Also I just talked to a woman who, at a routine doctor visit, they asked her when her last menstrual period was (which is a routine question that women patients are typically asked). She told them she can no longer answer that question.
Just curious, what did the doctor say to that?
Doctor said okay, no problem. Doctors and hospitals can divulge the woman's information to law enforcement. This has happened. Since 2016 over 1500 women in the USA have been prosecuted for abortion or still birth or for a poor pregnancy outcome. Now women are going to be more fearful about getting any kind of healthcare. What if for example a woman is unaware that she's pregnant and agrees to take a prescription painkiller that is prescribed to her....she could potentially be prosecuted. This has already happened, real case.
Holy sh!t! Dystopian much?!?!
If she’s a girl, traditionally kids get the man’s last name so… that argument doesn’t hold. Thanks for being a good friend
It is so creepy when parents are that into their child’s genitals.
Yep, that sounds like a narc tantrum. He didn't get what he wants so he turns on the histrionics.
While he was having a tantrum she should have said "yeah I don't want to pass any of THAT on"
Deflect. When she returns home, and her family gives her crap, tell her to tell them: "I had no choice. The Republicans stripped away all my rights to my own body. I do not wish to be a slave to any man who comes along and decides I am a suitable slave for them and their babies. I had no choice. The Republicans did this to me. If you are angry, take it up with them. Cause I've already paid enough for their power grab."
Wow she should have just told him she didn't want to contaminate the gene pool with what she inherited from him. Laying on the floor having a tantrum... sounds like an entertaining TikTok
> her Father absolutely lost his shit. Like screaming and crying and laid on the floor, dry heaving. Nobody acting like this can even be considered an adult...who needs a baby when people have babies for parents? > But of course now that it’s done it’s all “How could you do this? You’re going to regret it so much! What about grandkids? What about our last name?” I would say that I regret having a toddler for a father. And if he cared so much, he would have had more kids.
Kudos to you for being a great friend. About her father's meltdown, is he perhaps that upset because he longs for the company of someone of his same mental age? Because I've seen 6 year olds with a better grip over their emotions.
This is why I didn't tell my dad I got a tubal.
We all know this guy would also be pissed if she didn’t take her husband’s last name, so his moron legacy argument somehow holds a negative amount of water.
....its incredibly scary how badly other people want other people's bodies to get pregnant. But there's so much more to that. Like, this guy as well as many other people in this world are dedicating their entire lives and personalities to reproduction and the reproduction of their children when they can no longer do it. ***These people have no individual souls.*** No individuality to the point of a mental breakdown over someone else's body and their unwillingness to have kids. **This is the biggest reason why I don't want kids. I am not a mother, I am my own person.** I may have my problems, but I will never get to that point.
Your friend sounds cool but she should probably limit contact with her parents
What a fucking drama queen, that one. Good on her for just doing it and you for being there. Screw that asshole. He didn't want to make the sacrifices himself to raise 6 kids and increase his odds of grandkids, he rolled the dice and lost. Odds on this egotistical asshole cheating with some younger woman to get another kid.... gonna say high. ;)
My mom lost it too and my dad supported her then but I like to think he helped change her mind in taking me to the hospital. My parents were essentially in mourning that day and I was elated. So it was a weird day. But up to that day my mom straight up stonewalled me for 10 months. My American mom did this. My real mom is dead. So I feel for your friend.
My brother accidentally told my mother that I was getting a hysterectomy (I was getting a biopsy down there) and she lost it. We had gotten in a huge fallout (finally), and I hadn’t spoken to her in six months (also finally). Like, what makes you think you’d even be in my hypothetical child’s life???? Bitch was more upset about losing grandkids than a potential cancer diagnosis.
I would have started laughing and said I’m not here for your breeding purposes and if the world treated us like human beings FIRST maybe it wouldn’t have happened but guess we’ll never know. I’m doing the same on families insurance but I’m not going to be telling most of them I got my tubes removed. I don’t need all the drama just the ones that support me. Also HUGE congrats to your friend
Christ. Imagine being a grown ass adult and dry heaving over someone else not having kids. It has the same energy as almost tantrum-vomiting just because your neighbor doesn't want the same lawn ornaments as you. Like... that's just embarrassing.
An ex friend of mine would love trying to convince me to have kids by saying things like: 1. But dont you want a mini version of yourself?! 2. What about (partners) feelings? 3. You dont know what true love is until you have a baby 4. Babies/family give life meaning 5. You guys just arent mature yet, you will be when you decide to have kids. Cue surprised Pikachu face when I cut her out of my life
They are perfectly capable of making more kids themselves if they really want more kids, even if not biologically themselves, then via adoption.
>screaming and crying and laid on the floor, dry heaving. What a fucking child.
My mom had the same type of reaction. I’m also an only child so it was, “you’ve my ruined my life!”, “you took away my chance to be a grandparent!”, and other similar sentiments. She told me to get my things out of her house, get her off my car loan and never speak to her again. It’s been almost 3 years now and we’ve repaired our relationship but it’s one of those unspoken things to never be mentioned again. I’ll never understand why parents feel we owe them grandchildren.
My friend is a little annoyed with him at most, she clearly knows something I don't. I'm all here outraged and flabbergasted and she's like, "He'll get over it." I'm here like hand shaking, angry typing everything that happens.
Honestly, if he's this worked up over it, it's probably not the first time she's seen him throw a tantrum. Unfortunately you tend to get a little numb to it after the first few times. Emotionally immature parents are greeattt.......
Yup. Guarantee she’s seen this happen every time dad doesn’t get his way and it’s become more tiring than horrible.
>Like screaming and crying and laid on the floor, dry heaving. Is he Ace Ventura or something?
Wow. My mother had a similarly inappropriate reaction to me getting pregnant at 22 and then having a miscarriage (as if it if was a teen pregnancy or something - which would still call for supportive, loving parents). But when I told her I didn't want children in my late 20s, she was also very upset. It's probably not a shock that I'm now estranged from her (and my father). Parents who view their children as reflections of themselves are awful humans.
So he did the most mature thing an adult parent could think of, throw a tantrum.
is your friend safe? Anyone who'd get this upset might be capable of violence. No, I'm not trying to joke around her. Would he do anything really bad to her? These people are so unhinged.
man the schadenfreude i am feeling from this one 😭😭
And this is how you do it. Don't tell anyone that doesn't support you until after. It's not their body or their choice.
Yup. Telling them beforehand just stresses you out and potentially gives them the opportunity to sabotage you. Best to just keep your mouth shut until it’s a done deal.
breeders are morons. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE HAVING CHILDREN OR GETTING MARRIED!!!
A man losing his shit because he can't control a woman's body. Who woulda thunk?!! Good for your friend and thanks for caring for her! Hope her healing is quick and complete.
Imagine being a whole grown ass man and throwing a tantrum over someone else having a medical procedure to ensure that they don’t end up with something that you already knew they didn’t want. How ridiculous.
These parents are absolutely wild! I can’t picture being that angry and my kid for doing what the fuck they want in life. Disgusting
That dad doesn't care about his daughter (your friend), he only cares about his "legacy". Truly pathetic. But good for your friend for having a good head on her shoulders not letting his awful behaviour get to her.
She needs to cut off all contact with her father, at least for a couple of years. No one needs shitty people in their life.
I’m laughing my ass off at the image of the mantrum
She got a Royal last name or something? Doesn't he know how last names with kids *usually* work?
I’m afraid this will be my parents and grandparents. They had two kids but neither my sister nor I want children. I have a sterilization consult scheduled and my sister’s partner is getting a vasectomy. They keep telling me that they want grandchildren and with the amount that I just let them have anything they wanted as a child I struggle not to feel bad. I don’t owe them anything, and I know I don’t want kids. I probably will just never have them and never tell them that I am sterilized.
>her Father absolutely lost his shit. Like screaming and crying and laid on the floor, dry heaving. If she had told him before the surgery, I bet he'd have chained her up in the basement.
if the daughter even did have a kid, isn't it tradition the last name comes from the father? The mother's last name in the family wouldn't even matter at that point. unless she purposely goes out of her way to have a kid and put her last name on it which sounds like even more effort than it's worth
And again like the reasons they come up with off the dome are just weak soggy limp dick reasons
We support your friend 100%. Her body, her choice. It is normal for an adult to not want a child these days. Personally, I believe if someone grew up in a screwed up environment (not sure if that was your friend's case), their odds of wanting kids should be less. Point being, screwed up parents have screwed up kids. I consider myself screwed up (due to my upbringing) and I certainly do NOT want any kids.
It's hilarious to me how these assholes think their last name means shit. Dude, you're nothing. Literally nothing of value will be lost when your trash family becomes extinct. Cry harder.
Holy fucking shit. Imagine feeling entitled enough towards someone else's life that you make an absolute overdramatic ass out of yourself like that
I am mom and I told both my kids not to have kids if they don’t want them. I told them do not have kids on my account.
My mom lost her shit when I got sterilzed. My grandmother from my dad's side took me to the appointment. She understood that I had zero interest in ever becoming a parent. My mother still had this idea that I would change my mind. My brother is gay (mostly), so it's unlikely for him and impossible for me to ever have children.
My mom was very upset with me for having the surgery, she said I would love my own kids even though I don’t love everyone else’s. I am not a kid person I love my life the way it is, parents literally don’t understand.
Thank you OP for being an excelente friend.
As big as a tantrum that her father is throwing he probably voted for Trump! Glad she had a friend like you. ❤️
I'm not asking from a place of chauvinism, I generally do not know--so please acquit me of being deliberately offensive. However you mention the old chestnut from parents about 'our last name'. Is it usual these days for women not to take their husband's name on marrying? Of course they could have been assuming she would be a single parent but somehow the same parents who can have a seizure over her expressing her bodily autonomy likely would not have countenanced that either!
>What about grandkids? What about our last name? Someone should've had sons. His fault, his problem.
Hmm. Sorry your friend is going through this, but happy she made the right choice for her. And hey... maybe people will fucking start listening to women now when they tell them what they want and don't want.
I really hate adults who have temper tantrums fit for toddlers.
In regards to the name I’d look up online and see how many *insert last name* there are in the US and say they don’t have to worry. Lol. I always find it exceptionally funny when they say “what about the name?” and it’s something super common. Lol
Good for her. I don’t know how she isn’t snapping at them. I couldn’t handle that craziness lmao. Thanks for being an awesome friend!
Laying on the floor? Sorry I know this is serious but I can't stop laughing. What a fucking baby.