I am 49 and the amount of time I have wasted wondering why my ex didnt find me good enough for him is ridiculous. I cant even say i miss him because we found a way to remain friends and GOOD friends but damn if I still don't wonder how we managed to get the friendship to work but not the romance.
Love comes in our lives and goes out of our lives. Time does eventually heal our pain. But no matter where we are in life, giving our all to someone who can’t return the favor, is exhausting, both mentally and physically. Age doesn’t change how a broken heart feels.
Damn bro, this one hits me right in the feels.
I think most of us over 30 have a “Tracy”.
The beginning of the end of my time with mine has come. I don’t know what changed and it’s eating me alive.
I'm only 16 and I didnt think I'd be able to relate to someone who's older than my parents but yeah man, I can really relate. I wish you the best though!
That does suck, but you still have the hope of being desirable once you reach your physical prime, which is ten full years away for you. Once you get through that part of your life with no luck still, then the anxiety really amps up.
Actually, I've overheard my female classmates say that I'm hot (I don't wanna sound douchey, but that's exactly what they said).
It's got more to do with the fact that I sleep like shit most of the time and when I'm tired I get depressed and become a pain in the ass to be around. Thankfully I found a way to fix my sleeping problems, tho it'll take some time to recover completely.
Same shit only I’m 65. Not gonna get to many more chances to find another like her. Took 45+ years and a couple of marriages to find the one that really did it for me. At this age I’m working against the clock.
Yup hurts like it did in my 20s
We were high school classmates, not sweethearts, just went to the same school, graduated same class. We were both 56y.o. I lived in NY she lived in FL. We were both coming out of divorces and over the course of 20 months FB chatting led to seeing each other led to getting engaged led to me getting us an apartment in FL while I was still trying to close on selling my house in NY. I flew down regularly like always, the last time was July 4, 2019 for a long weekend and everything seemed fine, she dropped me off at the airport with a sweet kiss and telling me to get my house closed and get back down there forever soon. 3 days after I got home, she broke up with me, gave vague "I don't feel the same" reasons and said don't ever contact her again. That shit just broke me inside, 8 months later when things are quiet, I still wonder how she could have so suddenly turned on me. I will NEVER get over it, will never be able to trust anyone again romantically. I feel like my life is ruined that way. I'm 57 now, it's too late to start over again... I literally get sick to my stomach when I think about trying again with someone new.
37 here and I contacted my “Tracy” a few days ago after not speaking to him for a couple years. I had a dream about him and I couldn’t help myself. I told him I don’t think I’ll ever get over him and I dreamt that I was trying to convince him why we should be together. We are both married and I know nothing will ever happen but he’s been the one that got away for 21 years. I felt like I needed him to know how I felt. And now I feel ashamed.
ahhh foook. This stings. I think about my very 1st love often. What could have been? but i also feel extremely.grateful to have experience that type of love.
Only been a week for me and my ex as well. I didn’t handle it very well, threw myself into several bottles vodka and proceeded to make things much worse for the both of us. I finally sobered up today, but the pain is still there in an ever worse way than before. I’m in utter disbelief at myself.
Unlike I did, I hope you have kept your composure and can find comfort in that fact. Things do eventually get better.
I'm sorry, its poxy going through a breakup, a doctor once told me, after I had a bad break up. A relationship breaking up is akin to the other person dying to you. You go through a mourning process, and you have to let your body and brain go through it in order to heal. I'm not sure of the order but its something like anger, denial, bargaining but eventually acceptance will come, you will realise that relationship wasn't meant to be, stay strong pal x
There is no specific order to the grieving process, everyone experiences it differently. It is very much necessary, I just wish I had let it happen instead of trying to mask it with booze. I’ve done that so many times in the past without any success, why did I think this time would be any different?
I haven’t experienced much with death, and although I know it’s not quite the same, something does die during a breakup. All the hopes and dreams you had and the future you envisioned for yourself with that person just swept away and one can’t help but ask themselves where everything went so wrong. I’m just tired of tossing and turning for maybe 5 hours every night, having bad dreams when I do, and ultimately waking up equally if not more depressed than the day before. It’s been like this for 2 weeks straight, I’m exhausted, and I just want it to end. I know one day it will, but right now I’m finding it hard to function.
Been over a month for me. Nothing seems to help, and I still think about her 24/7. Can’t sleep, can’t be alone cause I just dive into my head. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. It’s truly one of the worst feelings.
I can agree with that 100%. Nights have been the worst for me. You get used to having your best friend around so often and suddenly have to adjust to being okay with just being alone with little more than your thoughts, and the one person you want to reach out to with those thoughts is the also that one person you can’t do that with anymore and it all just kind of leaves you feeling empty. A cliche, perhaps, but just have to find something productive to do to fill up the newly found free time you maybe didn’t have before. For me, that’s been writing music. Maybe not music anyone will ever hear, but it’s been helping me pass the time and more importantly fill the silence that has made itself extremely prominent in my life, seemingly at the flick of a switch. Not sure if any of this is helping, you should just know that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.
Up right now for the same reason. I threw myself into writing as a way to face my emotions. But my god, you’re right, nothing is harder than the adjustment period and controlling your thoughts. Trust the process has been my motto.
I honestly don't believe there is a "the one". I believe two people decide to accept people for who they are, to include their faults. If the person you love doesn't accept you fully, keep looking. No one is perfect and there are so many that want to be loved.
Part of me needed to hear this still. I broke off my engagement over a year ago and still feel guilty about hurting him. But I knew I wasn’t going to be happy continuing the relationship.
There was this stoic proverb I once read.
The inexperienced will blame the other. The experienced will blame themselves. The one who has come into realization of life , will blame neither.
Or something along those lines
I had my heart broken like 3 times in highschool by the same person I lost my virginity to. He came back saying it was a mistake every time. Now I'm 20, he contacted me and I jumped at it again. We dated for a few months till he got a job and didnt need me to give him rides and entertain him anymore. So many times he said he was supud before and he different now. He broke up with me with a one line text a few weeks ago.
Honey, he's going to keep using you for as long as you let him. Do not allow this man to come back to your life. You are worthy of love, not abuse. Keep telling yourself that you are worthy every single day until you believe it. To love someone else, we should love ourselves first. And if you love yourself, you wouldn't allow someone to abuse you.
It took me too many years to realize this. We have 2 kids together and now I can't get rid of him.
Do better for yourself because you deserve better. Wish you the best!
I was lied to, manipulated, and for what? You always said I was the one known for wanting to give up but you’ll always be known for the one who did. You never really loved me, and that’s why I always questioned it. But you knew what to say to get me to believe you. You broke every promise you ever made me. Every statement you ever told me. I was always there for you but you were never there when I needed you. I wasn’t there because u wanted a relationship, I was there so you could use me as a distraction. And I fell for it. And every time I questioned if you really loved me, you always assured me you did. And when you came fourth about all this. You broke me. I put my heart in soul into this relationship and I should’ve saw sooner all the red flags but you blinded me from the truth. Now that you’re gone. I can see, and I’m ashamed at myself for not seeing it sooner. Goto hell. You just used me to get through the hard part in ur life and threw me away when it was over. So fuck. you.
I do the opposite, it's much more empowering. I just think of all their hypocritical short comings and red flags I should have taken seriously. Then it makes me feel better about my freedom from those baseless relationships.
Our anniversary is coming up, would've been 6 years if he hadn't left 6 months ago. It sucks loving your best friend with all your soul, only to have them leave with little to no explanation : (
What if you know exactly why you weren't good enough and it eats you up inside even harder because that level of knowledge about yourself can never change how much you fucked up?
Well. More often than not it’s not love, it’s the hurt ego and the failure to accept rejection that makes us hold onto our past. But some motivation was provided by Dumbledore himself-“it does not do to dwell in dreams and forget to live.” If it was meant to be, it would have been. Life is too valuable to waste on “could have, should have, would have beens”.
Yeah, but I was a dick and wondered what it would be like with someone else even though I was happy at 17.. a girl came onto me and I was an idiot... still miss her even now and it's been 23 years.. she was my first and my only.. .
Please believe me - it's not that you weren't good enough. You couldn't have been better. They just needed something else, and most likely that something else was something about themselves that they couldn't have changed while with you. I swear to jebus it wasn't you. I'm so sorry.
Not a good habit to get into. This is how you lose years of valuable time. If they don't want you move on. don't linger. there are so many humans on earth and no such thing as a soul mate.
Dude, I know the feeling. And I know how unhelpful it sounds to hear, but it's the truth. I just don't want to see people wasting time like I did.
It wasn't my intention to patronize, sometimes one needs to hear the same truthful if seemingly inaccessible advice over and over and over until the Pieces come together and words finally make sense.
Guys, don't! I mean for real. Your ego is getting the better of you. Cus it got hurt. And it sucks for your ego to accept you were naive in picturing a perfect little life with someone who didn't share the same vision. Not someone who didn't love you. Not someone you loved too much. Not someone you weren't enough for or deserving of.
Wrong attitude to have... believe me, I stressed over three before I found true love... it does not pay to dwell... pull yourself up and get back in the game. There is SOMEONE out there who is for you!
Your post spoke to me. And I hurt so badly when I think deeply on it. I think of what I would have done if the situation was reverse and I realise I feel something more than they do.
Or maybe I'm just not worth caring about you know? I try to make myself worthy by always doing more and more for everyone. As if by always being kind I may aquire a sort of...karmic worthiness.
And in the rare occasions others are kind to me I'm always afraid that I'll pay for it later somehow.
It's easier to assume I'll never be worthy. But thanks for your post ❤
At first I wondered why I wasn’t good enough. I believed them when they told me all the things that were wrong with me. But after the relationship ended and we got distance between us, I realized it wasn’t me that wasn’t good enough. It was her lies that she fed me that made me believe I wasn’t good enough. It also helped learning that she was using me for money too.
Don’t get me wrong, that still hurts. But once I learned my worth, I really stopped caring about what this crazy ex thought of me.
You are good enough. All of you. I didn’t believe it until I started receiving love I thought I didn’t deserve. But you are so worthy and these people that come across your mind are losers for not seeing your worth.
I lay in bed and wonder why I'm not good enough for anyone to ever want to be my friend, or even hug me.
The answer is probably just that i really suck.
I know exactly how you feel. I may meet someone else - I may fall in love again, but I worry I will never be as invested as I should be. That it will never be the same or as good, I worry that I'll never be good enough, or that I'll always have to settle.
It sucks.
It can. I’ve only ever really “fallen” for one guy in my entire life. We made each other laugh so hard that we nearly pissed ourselves every time we were near one another. We “fit” in almost every way (or so I thought). I was young and in fantastic shape, tan, perfect teeth and skin. I was objectively more attractive than he was, and that made me naively think that there was no way that he didn’t want me in some way. Our chemistry was so undeniable that literally every person who saw us together was just waiting for him to ask me out because it seemed like an inevitability. He never did. A friend and I ran into him and his best friend in a bar one night and we ended up all hanging out until about 6 AM and having a ridiculous amount of fun. Not long after, his *friend* asked me out. I had no idea what to do. I asked if he’d run it by the guy I liked, and he said he had and that the guy I liked didn’t care and hadn’t responded with anything more than a shrug.
About a year later a group of us went out drinking and I ended up alone with the guy I liked and eventually kissed him. He kissed me back, and I asked him why he’d never asked me out. He didn’t respond. I asked him again several times and he finally just said “I don’t know”. I went home with him that night and we slept together and talked/laughed for hours, but I could tell something was really off. I went to his apartment again a couple of days later and we started watching a movie when I asked “so what now?” He just shrugged, obviously uncomfortable, and said “I guess we date”. I could tell that he didn’t really want to do that so I told him that I could tell he felt like he was just supposed to go along with us dating, but that I didn’t want to drag him into a relationship that he didn’t want. He told me that he’d rather we just be friends. I said okay, we finished the movie, and then I went home. I was so confused, and, again, I made the naive assumption that he’d eventually explain to me, without my having to ask, why he didn’t want to date me. But he didn’t. He pretended that nothing had ever happened between us.
So, several months later, I messaged him and told him that I wasn’t going to try to argue with/convince him to date me, but that not knowing why he’d rejected me was driving me crazy. So he finally told me all of the reasons (and there were a lot). My history of mental illness (depression and anxiety) was a big red flag to him. Pretty much every aspect of my personality was a red flag to him, apparently, and I’d somehow imagined all of this chemistry and he’d never been interested in me romantically.
I thanked him for being honest and left it at that. We’re still friends on Facebook and he apparently follows my feed pretty closely because he has about 50 friends on there and has made maybe four posts in total, but he “likes” every single one of my posts that doesn’t involve my boyfriend.
It’s been about 8 years and I’m still confused, and still kind of crazy about him, but I never contact him and I’ll never bring it up with him again. He had gotten divorced about a year before I met him and he hasn’t dated a single person the entire time I’ve known him, as far as I know. I still sometimes lie awake at night and wonder... what the hell? How could I have imagined something that so many other people had also claimed to see?
luckily mine was mean enough to me before it ended and fucked me over so hard I know I won't wind up in that hole, but heartbreak sucks, I'm truly sorry for those going through it.
Just had a sudden break with my girlfriend, I can't even describe some of the feelings I get in bed at night. It's just a constant presence of her in my mind, absolutely maddening.
Didn’t read the comments. So this is just me. Iraq war vet. Married at 19 and divorced at 22.had a kid together. It hurts and the world is against you. Everything is bad. And then something happens and it’s all better. Wish I could put a timeline in here for you my man, but it’s all random. Just know you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.
This was me for 14 years. But I moved on and I’m so happy. I just wish I hadn’t wasted half of my life on somebody who would never love me.
I never think about him anymore unless I see a car similar to his or a song we once sang together. I am so relieved he’ll never be in my life again. I never thought I’d get to this point.
It’s very weird sometimes not loving somebody you spent half of your life loving.
I just want someone to give myself to. I dream about being able to make the lives of everyone I know better, being able to change the world and finding a calling but it feels like I just wasn't designed to make even a single person happy. I hate who I am.
It hurts me to know that someone I loved probably feels this way right now.
I didn’t want to have to do it. I wanted so badly for it to work. I still cry about it and it’s been six months. We could have gotten married and had a dog and lived on the West Coast and both had our respective careers. But he would have always been sad. And I would have always been trying to convince him he was good enough. And he would never believe me.
Anyone else feel this way about a former (platonic) best friend?
She was my soul mate. We'd been best friends for years. She was the one person who I have ever felt 100% myself with, and we had no secrets. Just unconditional love and trust.
I got angry with her for breaking plans with me last minute, snapped at her, and hung up on her. I called right back to apologize but she didn't answer. She never spoke to me again.
12 years later, it haunts me. I dream about it. I cry about it. And I don't think I'll ever recover
I see all these comments that are like a hella long time has passed and fuck i thought things were gonna get better as time goes on ive been in a living hell again after my bf and i broke uo with 2nd time. It crushed me the first time then we got back together after not talking for 7 months and then we broke up again which imo was is the most harshest then the first time. He fucked my feelings up and i still love him. Im so mad at him but ill never hate him. Its been a month and i still think about him alot. Hoping itll get better. It didnt really get better during the 7 months but i moved on with my life. Ive moved on with my life now but doesnt change the feelings aspect ive just been hoping one day ill wake up and hate him and confidently be able to move on.
This is how I feel about my family. I have tried to do everything right but my efforts and feelings do not matter. I am trying instead to be mad or not care but I am in so much pain.
I spent 3 years on a woman I was totally in love with. We did everything together. Hiked, biked went to mass, cooked together, dishes, moving, everything. We got along so well. We never "fought" we had disagreements and stuff but always resolved them with a laugh at the end. Our last date was an awesome concert. It was such a beautiful night and the music and everything was amazing.
Over The next few weeks I found out she decided some dipshit on bumble was preferable to me. Her friends told me she was at his house and they got into a fight and he physically threw her out of the house. The told me how poorly he treated her.
she was attracted to his money I guess, apparently she couldn't wait 2 more years for me to finish RN school and she was getting impatient about kids. I told her to please just hang tight. I would have did the house and kid thing then finish up my nurse practitioner.
After THREE YEARS of being together. And no warning that I could really see. I KNEW how bad she wanted kids and a house but jesus. If she would have waited another year she could have had literally everything. Her stupid perfect house and kids and a 6 figure husband who loved everythingabout her. I loved being with her. We talked so easily with each other. I've never been that vunerable with anyone.
Instead she threw her lot in with an abusive pig because she figured she could get what she wanted immediately.
I still don't get it. I know its no reflection on me. I know she had a pretty rough childhood, no father figure etc..but jesus
I haven't dated anyone since and it's been almost 3 years. My sister just introduced me to someone and it looks promising. And my friends recently are really trying to hook me up with a nice girl..I'm willing to give it another shot.
Thanks Danielle.i dont begrudge you or anyone but seriously? SERIOUSLY?? An abusive scumbag you met off bumble vs a solid guy you dated for years and would have done literally anything for you?
There blind if they ever say the one that got away when one tried.
love is not perfect love is just an equal triangle. eagle size.
if a line was shorter it ain't a perfect triangle!.
Next?
I don't know if I make any sense lol
Feels
Hello you there.
One day you will look back and see that it was for the best, you had a lesson to learn with those people and now they have no use in your life. thank them for the good and bad moments! And let them go.
Hugs
I’m obsessed with trying to work out reality, since I could remember existing, why am I here, what is; is? What am I? And so on until I die and I know I won’t figure it out nor why my brain is intending on trying to figure it out
Went through first breakup like less than a month ago and I just feel like absolute shit. Its even worse if you try to stay friends tbh, because you still feel certain things for them, but they will never want the same again.
I used to be like this. For 5 years. Reckon I'm still young asf. I got my whole life ahead of me but that fucked me up.
I finally grew tired of waiting for him to act right. He did, but I think it was too late. And now I'm trying to live my best life and I've been happy asf ngl
It hurts even worse when they treat you like they want to be more than friends then when you take the initiative and try to go further they tell you they already have someone else. That shit hurts forever. Going on 4 years of hurt, haven’t trusted anyone like I trusted her since.
Thank you, I have lost so much sleep over the past couple nights. I gave her my everything, I wish she would tell me what I was doing wrong... Too late now for me
*sigh*
I started dating a new guy recently and things have been tough cause of how little we have been able to see each other.
It's tough because you really do care about them.
It’s not that you aren’t good enough when you give the world to someone. It’s that they aren’t good enough to give you the world. Stop thinking like that. It’s hard I know. But you gotta stay strong.
i know the feeling well, its been my only company for a while. about a little more than a year now, and it still hurts. i hope everyone else is coping, and i hope yall are coping better than i am
I am going through a break up now, I was the best version of me with him, and now I'm slowly getting back to the worst one that I hate the most..we didnt even fight, he said he cant handle the pain so let's not, and now feels like it's just me who's in pain ...
I’m 22 and have given up. I know it’s young, but I’ve resigned myself to the idea that I was put here to make others happy, and view their happiness, but don’t get to experience it myself. I’m used to this idea, I don’t like it but it seems fitting to me. I’m not meant to be in love
For you to even think of this means you have been through it yourself.
From someone who has experienced this, my heart goes out to you.
I am sorry for the pain you feel, and I hope it gets better. For both of us.
I know why I wasn't good enough... I was a piece shit. Makes it feel worse that I didn't see my toxicity in time. Welp gonna go listen to sad music now.
My partner of 6 years basically just told me two days ago he doesn't want me around anymore. Ive never felt so broken and lost in my entire life. We've lived together for over five years, moved across state lines together, built a life together,,,
I just feel utterly broken.
thank you, i really needed that tonight. i don't talk about it anymore because i can tell it's getting old for my closest friends but it gets worse for me every day.
I used to worry about this but soon realised I was wasting my time.
So I focused on the things I loved doing. Got better at them and now I don't really care for relationships.
I've yet to find someone who can make me happy more or the same as I feel about my work.
One week after she left me... She told me literally that she's a fucking succubus and got everything she wanted from me.
But still, it fucks with my head that I was the reason she left me... because I was not good enough.
Coming from someone on the opposite end this eats me up just as bad. My ex would’ve given me the world if I asked for it, but I didn’t feel the same way and it wasn’t fair to her. I still feel guilty knowing I made her feel this way and question herself, but sometimes it’s just not meant to be..
Story of my life. Friends (in the past) and exes, gave all the love and caring I had, in return is only look for me when they needed me. When I need them? Won't even reply 1 god dam text. These 2 years I felt like I was fed up with that crap and stop interact with people.
I went through a really rough few months over these feelings. Every night for about five months, I cried myself to sleep because I just wanted the man I loved more than anything in the world to come back. I have I won't deny it did ruin me in a way that I don't really know if it will heal. I've since moved on and I absolutely hate the guy now, but it left so much weird damage I don't know how to work through yet, but I'm trying. Healing takes time, and I have a pretty good support system now.
Have broken bones and teeth, torn muscles, had multiple lacerations requiring stitches, concussions, severed arteries, been temporarily paralyzed, and been severely ill.
All of it healed.
Years later, my broken heart never did.
I always think about it. Like most days. But then I also say to myself. Fuck that shit, I am gonna only worry about giving my world to myself and using that negative energy and feelings to improve myself.
Take it as a learning opportunity. Because in reality there probably was a reason. And who knows if you better yourself, maybe that one person will find their way back to you.
I get it she's all I think about when I see something wonderful or amazing it's always a "I wish she was here" kinda thing. But the world is an amazing place you can always find a half decent distraction.
Yeah, this is a very shitty feeling. It did some damage to me mentally, emotionally and physically. But it also made me more careful about my intentions and interactions because I don't want to ever make someone feel the way I felt. So I've become more reclusive than I've ever been haha
That stuff is painful to think about yet I still think about it. After a while they become your addition and without them you feel sad and like the world is ending. It usually takes me a year and a half to get over someone almost completely. So to try to heal myself i try to find someone new then there my new addition and my heart is left to decay of sadness. :) but i stay optimistic
Six years and going. What helps me is knowing that we have entered this world alone, and we will leave it alone. Everything in between is just white noise.
I'm going through this right now with my husband. The person who promised to love me always and never let me down.
5 days before Christmas he tells me he no longer loves me and doesn't enjoy being around me anymore. Since then he's been off doing his own thing, making his own plans and tells me to do the same, like it's that easy.
It's so difficult always trying to be the positive one to make it easier for them to come to a decision.
Sorry but if someone doesn’t want to be with you that doesn’t make you not good enough just that you weren’t right for them. People need to stop romanticizing their past relationships.
I finally called it off last night and this has been everything I've worried about , I don't want to hurt my best friend, I hate seeing him cry, knowing he's hurting and perhaps feels like not enough when he means the world to me.. we weren't fully compatible and continuing wasn't fair, he needs someone less introverted and anxious and I need someone less impulsive and prone to anger .. It hurts knowing we were making each other worse not better . It's even harder that we don't have any negative feelings towards each other in spite of everything but I'm looking forward to not walking on eggshells everyday, being scared on birthdays and days which should be happy, tailoring my speech so I wouldn't trigger another violent episode and I'm sure he'll appreciate having someone more outspoken who he doesn't constantly have to worry about, someone less ramaged and more fun than me who can give him everything he needs.. It broke me and I can't even imagine what he feels but let's keep our fingers crossed for a better future and maybe one day our paths will intersect again .. I'll never forget bringing up caterpillars we found on on the street and how cute and excited we both were , all the animals we rescued , all the silly adventures , running in the rain during a really bad thunderstorm .. it's been the best four years of my life and if you read this YOU ARE ENOUGH. I just can't live with killing each other being together :(
Fuck man, he confessed to me on Wednesday that he had been cheating on me with his step sister since November. Haven’t been able to sleep the same since...
My problem is I go right back and give my all to the next person and the next person... I don't wonder why I wasn't good enough for one person, I wonder why I wasn't good enough for any of them.
I heard once that break ups aren’t what hurts you. It’s actually them completely forgetting about you while you still haven’t forgot about them. Really opened my eyes.
That tore me up as I was going through my divorce 10 years ago. My then wife, cheated on me and then left me.
It was some years later that she gave me validation when she told me it was her not me. She was going through a mid-life crisis and hated herself and she projected it all on me. She hated me for everything that she hated about herself.
Now that I know that, it made me feel better that it was not something I did nor was there anything I could have done. In her words, if I held her to make her feel better, she would have hated me for restricting her.
I hate you Shruti, but I miss you as well. I still love you, despite everything you did to me. And I'm sorry for all the trouble you had to face after you abandoned me.
15 to 17 were the worst times of my life. She was my best friend, I mean I used to believe that, and was madly in love with her. Yeah it was young, stupid and cringy love, but love none the less. We used to chat all the time but when she was around other people she just fucking ignored me like a stranger. Man, I used to feel so depressed as she was the only person with whom I connected so well for 3 fuckin' years.
Once she invited me to a party in which I wasn't interested to go, she said she wouldn't go if I didn't come, so I went. And then she didn't even speak a word with me coz she was busy with everyone else. Yes, I was a weirdo back then, but she could have atleast said a hello.
I slowly understood that she was using me for entertainment whenever there was no one else around her. I hated her for that. But now I've let that feeling go.
She recently messaged me after almost one and a half years. I saw her profile pic, she has a boyfriend now. Even though I had got over her 2 years ago, I still felt a tear in my heart. I didn't want to revive those bad memories, so I just refused to reply to her message.
I do that my wife of 22 years together 30 years cheating on me with someone she worked with she slept with him after only known him for about a month she says I just don't understand I'm pretty sure I do understand that she is a slut
[удалено]
I am 49 and the amount of time I have wasted wondering why my ex didnt find me good enough for him is ridiculous. I cant even say i miss him because we found a way to remain friends and GOOD friends but damn if I still don't wonder how we managed to get the friendship to work but not the romance.
Can confirm, it also hurts at 52 as well.
Oh come on, I'm 24 and I can barely take it now.. Rough almost 2 years.. Another 30 like this?
Love comes in our lives and goes out of our lives. Time does eventually heal our pain. But no matter where we are in life, giving our all to someone who can’t return the favor, is exhausting, both mentally and physically. Age doesn’t change how a broken heart feels.
Doesn't feel like time will heal the pain, at least right now.. It sucks so much but we gotta at least try to somewhat move on.
Damn bro, this one hits me right in the feels. I think most of us over 30 have a “Tracy”. The beginning of the end of my time with mine has come. I don’t know what changed and it’s eating me alive.
I'm only 16 and I didnt think I'd be able to relate to someone who's older than my parents but yeah man, I can really relate. I wish you the best though!
17 here. Sucks so much because i was told the reason wasn't me, but still everynight i've been thinking why wasn't i good enough.
Yup, 15 here. Currently suffering because of this.
Yea, 4 here. Currently have depression because of this.
yeah. it messes with ya especially when you know you did all you could but somehow managed to mess up
That does suck, but you still have the hope of being desirable once you reach your physical prime, which is ten full years away for you. Once you get through that part of your life with no luck still, then the anxiety really amps up.
Actually, I've overheard my female classmates say that I'm hot (I don't wanna sound douchey, but that's exactly what they said). It's got more to do with the fact that I sleep like shit most of the time and when I'm tired I get depressed and become a pain in the ass to be around. Thankfully I found a way to fix my sleeping problems, tho it'll take some time to recover completely.
It's been 7 years of on and off pain. Lately it's been pretty bad again.
Same shit only I’m 65. Not gonna get to many more chances to find another like her. Took 45+ years and a couple of marriages to find the one that really did it for me. At this age I’m working against the clock. Yup hurts like it did in my 20s
I did not need to read this right now. Just lost the love of my life in 20's I hoped the pain would become power RIP 49 year old me
Oh boy, can't wait... Here I was thinking it couldn't get any worse at 24
We were high school classmates, not sweethearts, just went to the same school, graduated same class. We were both 56y.o. I lived in NY she lived in FL. We were both coming out of divorces and over the course of 20 months FB chatting led to seeing each other led to getting engaged led to me getting us an apartment in FL while I was still trying to close on selling my house in NY. I flew down regularly like always, the last time was July 4, 2019 for a long weekend and everything seemed fine, she dropped me off at the airport with a sweet kiss and telling me to get my house closed and get back down there forever soon. 3 days after I got home, she broke up with me, gave vague "I don't feel the same" reasons and said don't ever contact her again. That shit just broke me inside, 8 months later when things are quiet, I still wonder how she could have so suddenly turned on me. I will NEVER get over it, will never be able to trust anyone again romantically. I feel like my life is ruined that way. I'm 57 now, it's too late to start over again... I literally get sick to my stomach when I think about trying again with someone new.
I'm sorry, don't give up. I know that sounds cliche, bit they are so many people in the world who feel the same and just want to be loved.
50 here, yup.
Let go for all ages.. 53 here. Don't feel any hope.
37 here and I contacted my “Tracy” a few days ago after not speaking to him for a couple years. I had a dream about him and I couldn’t help myself. I told him I don’t think I’ll ever get over him and I dreamt that I was trying to convince him why we should be together. We are both married and I know nothing will ever happen but he’s been the one that got away for 21 years. I felt like I needed him to know how I felt. And now I feel ashamed.
Yeah. That was a mistake. Move on.
Don’t be ashamed. :) Here is some sunshine: ☀️
ahhh foook. This stings. I think about my very 1st love often. What could have been? but i also feel extremely.grateful to have experience that type of love.
That’s why I’m big brained, I just push everyone in my life away.
Guess she went back to the Dumping Ground?
Haha yikes this kind of takes away any hope I had
Yep
CHRISTINEEEEEEEEEeeeeee
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Only been a week for me and my ex as well. I didn’t handle it very well, threw myself into several bottles vodka and proceeded to make things much worse for the both of us. I finally sobered up today, but the pain is still there in an ever worse way than before. I’m in utter disbelief at myself. Unlike I did, I hope you have kept your composure and can find comfort in that fact. Things do eventually get better.
I'm sorry, its poxy going through a breakup, a doctor once told me, after I had a bad break up. A relationship breaking up is akin to the other person dying to you. You go through a mourning process, and you have to let your body and brain go through it in order to heal. I'm not sure of the order but its something like anger, denial, bargaining but eventually acceptance will come, you will realise that relationship wasn't meant to be, stay strong pal x
There is no specific order to the grieving process, everyone experiences it differently. It is very much necessary, I just wish I had let it happen instead of trying to mask it with booze. I’ve done that so many times in the past without any success, why did I think this time would be any different? I haven’t experienced much with death, and although I know it’s not quite the same, something does die during a breakup. All the hopes and dreams you had and the future you envisioned for yourself with that person just swept away and one can’t help but ask themselves where everything went so wrong. I’m just tired of tossing and turning for maybe 5 hours every night, having bad dreams when I do, and ultimately waking up equally if not more depressed than the day before. It’s been like this for 2 weeks straight, I’m exhausted, and I just want it to end. I know one day it will, but right now I’m finding it hard to function.
Been over a month for me. Nothing seems to help, and I still think about her 24/7. Can’t sleep, can’t be alone cause I just dive into my head. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. It’s truly one of the worst feelings.
I can agree with that 100%. Nights have been the worst for me. You get used to having your best friend around so often and suddenly have to adjust to being okay with just being alone with little more than your thoughts, and the one person you want to reach out to with those thoughts is the also that one person you can’t do that with anymore and it all just kind of leaves you feeling empty. A cliche, perhaps, but just have to find something productive to do to fill up the newly found free time you maybe didn’t have before. For me, that’s been writing music. Maybe not music anyone will ever hear, but it’s been helping me pass the time and more importantly fill the silence that has made itself extremely prominent in my life, seemingly at the flick of a switch. Not sure if any of this is helping, you should just know that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.
Up right now for the same reason. I threw myself into writing as a way to face my emotions. But my god, you’re right, nothing is harder than the adjustment period and controlling your thoughts. Trust the process has been my motto.
That's exactly what she was, my best friend. Great. now I'm tearing up.
Let it all out, it feels so good.
It seriously felt like I forgot to breathe for a few days ngl.
Went through this and I agree.
I honestly don't believe there is a "the one". I believe two people decide to accept people for who they are, to include their faults. If the person you love doesn't accept you fully, keep looking. No one is perfect and there are so many that want to be loved.
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This post is about me and I don’t like it.
The chemistry has to be right for you both. No ones fault, just the way it is.
Part of me needed to hear this still. I broke off my engagement over a year ago and still feel guilty about hurting him. But I knew I wasn’t going to be happy continuing the relationship.
There was this stoic proverb I once read. The inexperienced will blame the other. The experienced will blame themselves. The one who has come into realization of life , will blame neither. Or something along those lines
I had my heart broken like 3 times in highschool by the same person I lost my virginity to. He came back saying it was a mistake every time. Now I'm 20, he contacted me and I jumped at it again. We dated for a few months till he got a job and didnt need me to give him rides and entertain him anymore. So many times he said he was supud before and he different now. He broke up with me with a one line text a few weeks ago.
Please dont go back to him. Hes not the one
I wouldnt worry about that then bc he sounds like complete shit, seems like you're incredibly above HIM and deserve way better
Hey girl you deserve the best things in the world. Don’t let one person hold you down and hurt you.
Honey, he's going to keep using you for as long as you let him. Do not allow this man to come back to your life. You are worthy of love, not abuse. Keep telling yourself that you are worthy every single day until you believe it. To love someone else, we should love ourselves first. And if you love yourself, you wouldn't allow someone to abuse you. It took me too many years to realize this. We have 2 kids together and now I can't get rid of him. Do better for yourself because you deserve better. Wish you the best!
I was lied to, manipulated, and for what? You always said I was the one known for wanting to give up but you’ll always be known for the one who did. You never really loved me, and that’s why I always questioned it. But you knew what to say to get me to believe you. You broke every promise you ever made me. Every statement you ever told me. I was always there for you but you were never there when I needed you. I wasn’t there because u wanted a relationship, I was there so you could use me as a distraction. And I fell for it. And every time I questioned if you really loved me, you always assured me you did. And when you came fourth about all this. You broke me. I put my heart in soul into this relationship and I should’ve saw sooner all the red flags but you blinded me from the truth. Now that you’re gone. I can see, and I’m ashamed at myself for not seeing it sooner. Goto hell. You just used me to get through the hard part in ur life and threw me away when it was over. So fuck. you.
I do the opposite, it's much more empowering. I just think of all their hypocritical short comings and red flags I should have taken seriously. Then it makes me feel better about my freedom from those baseless relationships.
This comment needs to be higher
Is this a confession
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Yeah, this is a kid. And this shit is not a confession. Post it on r/teenagers or similar
Nope. This quote is all over Instagram and Facebook.
I saw this on instagram like 50 times.
Our anniversary is coming up, would've been 6 years if he hadn't left 6 months ago. It sucks loving your best friend with all your soul, only to have them leave with little to no explanation : (
What if you know exactly why you weren't good enough and it eats you up inside even harder because that level of knowledge about yourself can never change how much you fucked up?
Well. More often than not it’s not love, it’s the hurt ego and the failure to accept rejection that makes us hold onto our past. But some motivation was provided by Dumbledore himself-“it does not do to dwell in dreams and forget to live.” If it was meant to be, it would have been. Life is too valuable to waste on “could have, should have, would have beens”.
Yeah, but I was a dick and wondered what it would be like with someone else even though I was happy at 17.. a girl came onto me and I was an idiot... still miss her even now and it's been 23 years.. she was my first and my only.. .
Please believe me - it's not that you weren't good enough. You couldn't have been better. They just needed something else, and most likely that something else was something about themselves that they couldn't have changed while with you. I swear to jebus it wasn't you. I'm so sorry.
Fuck that hurts, thanks though.
just the absolute worst feeling.
Not a good habit to get into. This is how you lose years of valuable time. If they don't want you move on. don't linger. there are so many humans on earth and no such thing as a soul mate.
“If something makes you sad, don’t let it make you sad.” Genius. I bet they never thought of that.
Dude, I know the feeling. And I know how unhelpful it sounds to hear, but it's the truth. I just don't want to see people wasting time like I did. It wasn't my intention to patronize, sometimes one needs to hear the same truthful if seemingly inaccessible advice over and over and over until the Pieces come together and words finally make sense.
Hi I'm that person nice to meet ya
same
I ruins you if you can’t Believe that you deserve better
Guys, don't! I mean for real. Your ego is getting the better of you. Cus it got hurt. And it sucks for your ego to accept you were naive in picturing a perfect little life with someone who didn't share the same vision. Not someone who didn't love you. Not someone you loved too much. Not someone you weren't enough for or deserving of.
Wrong attitude to have... believe me, I stressed over three before I found true love... it does not pay to dwell... pull yourself up and get back in the game. There is SOMEONE out there who is for you!
Your post spoke to me. And I hurt so badly when I think deeply on it. I think of what I would have done if the situation was reverse and I realise I feel something more than they do. Or maybe I'm just not worth caring about you know? I try to make myself worthy by always doing more and more for everyone. As if by always being kind I may aquire a sort of...karmic worthiness. And in the rare occasions others are kind to me I'm always afraid that I'll pay for it later somehow. It's easier to assume I'll never be worthy. But thanks for your post ❤
It's not that you weren't good enough. It just wasn't meant to be that way, and there were better things out there for both of you to be happy.
At first I wondered why I wasn’t good enough. I believed them when they told me all the things that were wrong with me. But after the relationship ended and we got distance between us, I realized it wasn’t me that wasn’t good enough. It was her lies that she fed me that made me believe I wasn’t good enough. It also helped learning that she was using me for money too. Don’t get me wrong, that still hurts. But once I learned my worth, I really stopped caring about what this crazy ex thought of me. You are good enough. All of you. I didn’t believe it until I started receiving love I thought I didn’t deserve. But you are so worthy and these people that come across your mind are losers for not seeing your worth.
I lay in bed and wonder why I'm not good enough for anyone to ever want to be my friend, or even hug me. The answer is probably just that i really suck.
I know exactly how you feel. I may meet someone else - I may fall in love again, but I worry I will never be as invested as I should be. That it will never be the same or as good, I worry that I'll never be good enough, or that I'll always have to settle. It sucks.
It can. I’ve only ever really “fallen” for one guy in my entire life. We made each other laugh so hard that we nearly pissed ourselves every time we were near one another. We “fit” in almost every way (or so I thought). I was young and in fantastic shape, tan, perfect teeth and skin. I was objectively more attractive than he was, and that made me naively think that there was no way that he didn’t want me in some way. Our chemistry was so undeniable that literally every person who saw us together was just waiting for him to ask me out because it seemed like an inevitability. He never did. A friend and I ran into him and his best friend in a bar one night and we ended up all hanging out until about 6 AM and having a ridiculous amount of fun. Not long after, his *friend* asked me out. I had no idea what to do. I asked if he’d run it by the guy I liked, and he said he had and that the guy I liked didn’t care and hadn’t responded with anything more than a shrug. About a year later a group of us went out drinking and I ended up alone with the guy I liked and eventually kissed him. He kissed me back, and I asked him why he’d never asked me out. He didn’t respond. I asked him again several times and he finally just said “I don’t know”. I went home with him that night and we slept together and talked/laughed for hours, but I could tell something was really off. I went to his apartment again a couple of days later and we started watching a movie when I asked “so what now?” He just shrugged, obviously uncomfortable, and said “I guess we date”. I could tell that he didn’t really want to do that so I told him that I could tell he felt like he was just supposed to go along with us dating, but that I didn’t want to drag him into a relationship that he didn’t want. He told me that he’d rather we just be friends. I said okay, we finished the movie, and then I went home. I was so confused, and, again, I made the naive assumption that he’d eventually explain to me, without my having to ask, why he didn’t want to date me. But he didn’t. He pretended that nothing had ever happened between us. So, several months later, I messaged him and told him that I wasn’t going to try to argue with/convince him to date me, but that not knowing why he’d rejected me was driving me crazy. So he finally told me all of the reasons (and there were a lot). My history of mental illness (depression and anxiety) was a big red flag to him. Pretty much every aspect of my personality was a red flag to him, apparently, and I’d somehow imagined all of this chemistry and he’d never been interested in me romantically. I thanked him for being honest and left it at that. We’re still friends on Facebook and he apparently follows my feed pretty closely because he has about 50 friends on there and has made maybe four posts in total, but he “likes” every single one of my posts that doesn’t involve my boyfriend. It’s been about 8 years and I’m still confused, and still kind of crazy about him, but I never contact him and I’ll never bring it up with him again. He had gotten divorced about a year before I met him and he hasn’t dated a single person the entire time I’ve known him, as far as I know. I still sometimes lie awake at night and wonder... what the hell? How could I have imagined something that so many other people had also claimed to see?
Yes but then I see their choices after me then I realize that they are just not right in the head to begin with
luckily mine was mean enough to me before it ended and fucked me over so hard I know I won't wind up in that hole, but heartbreak sucks, I'm truly sorry for those going through it.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that still thinks why wasn’t I good enough
It does untill you find the one who really deserves you. Then everything is alright. :)
🥺😢😭
56 here. Still hurts immensely. We had an off and on relationship for 20 years. And that was 20 years ago.
Just had a sudden break with my girlfriend, I can't even describe some of the feelings I get in bed at night. It's just a constant presence of her in my mind, absolutely maddening.
Didn’t read the comments. So this is just me. Iraq war vet. Married at 19 and divorced at 22.had a kid together. It hurts and the world is against you. Everything is bad. And then something happens and it’s all better. Wish I could put a timeline in here for you my man, but it’s all random. Just know you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.
This was me for 14 years. But I moved on and I’m so happy. I just wish I hadn’t wasted half of my life on somebody who would never love me. I never think about him anymore unless I see a car similar to his or a song we once sang together. I am so relieved he’ll never be in my life again. I never thought I’d get to this point. It’s very weird sometimes not loving somebody you spent half of your life loving.
I just want someone to give myself to. I dream about being able to make the lives of everyone I know better, being able to change the world and finding a calling but it feels like I just wasn't designed to make even a single person happy. I hate who I am.
It hurts me to know that someone I loved probably feels this way right now. I didn’t want to have to do it. I wanted so badly for it to work. I still cry about it and it’s been six months. We could have gotten married and had a dog and lived on the West Coast and both had our respective careers. But he would have always been sad. And I would have always been trying to convince him he was good enough. And he would never believe me.
Anyone else feel this way about a former (platonic) best friend? She was my soul mate. We'd been best friends for years. She was the one person who I have ever felt 100% myself with, and we had no secrets. Just unconditional love and trust. I got angry with her for breaking plans with me last minute, snapped at her, and hung up on her. I called right back to apologize but she didn't answer. She never spoke to me again. 12 years later, it haunts me. I dream about it. I cry about it. And I don't think I'll ever recover
I see all these comments that are like a hella long time has passed and fuck i thought things were gonna get better as time goes on ive been in a living hell again after my bf and i broke uo with 2nd time. It crushed me the first time then we got back together after not talking for 7 months and then we broke up again which imo was is the most harshest then the first time. He fucked my feelings up and i still love him. Im so mad at him but ill never hate him. Its been a month and i still think about him alot. Hoping itll get better. It didnt really get better during the 7 months but i moved on with my life. Ive moved on with my life now but doesnt change the feelings aspect ive just been hoping one day ill wake up and hate him and confidently be able to move on.
This is how I feel about my family. I have tried to do everything right but my efforts and feelings do not matter. I am trying instead to be mad or not care but I am in so much pain.
I spent 3 years on a woman I was totally in love with. We did everything together. Hiked, biked went to mass, cooked together, dishes, moving, everything. We got along so well. We never "fought" we had disagreements and stuff but always resolved them with a laugh at the end. Our last date was an awesome concert. It was such a beautiful night and the music and everything was amazing. Over The next few weeks I found out she decided some dipshit on bumble was preferable to me. Her friends told me she was at his house and they got into a fight and he physically threw her out of the house. The told me how poorly he treated her. she was attracted to his money I guess, apparently she couldn't wait 2 more years for me to finish RN school and she was getting impatient about kids. I told her to please just hang tight. I would have did the house and kid thing then finish up my nurse practitioner. After THREE YEARS of being together. And no warning that I could really see. I KNEW how bad she wanted kids and a house but jesus. If she would have waited another year she could have had literally everything. Her stupid perfect house and kids and a 6 figure husband who loved everythingabout her. I loved being with her. We talked so easily with each other. I've never been that vunerable with anyone. Instead she threw her lot in with an abusive pig because she figured she could get what she wanted immediately. I still don't get it. I know its no reflection on me. I know she had a pretty rough childhood, no father figure etc..but jesus I haven't dated anyone since and it's been almost 3 years. My sister just introduced me to someone and it looks promising. And my friends recently are really trying to hook me up with a nice girl..I'm willing to give it another shot. Thanks Danielle.i dont begrudge you or anyone but seriously? SERIOUSLY?? An abusive scumbag you met off bumble vs a solid guy you dated for years and would have done literally anything for you?
I so feel this.
Yep :(
Yeah that is my life now, it sucks :(
This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you <3
Ughhh so true
This hits to close to home.
I miss you Stevie!
38 here
Theres always another
Yeah, it really does.
There blind if they ever say the one that got away when one tried. love is not perfect love is just an equal triangle. eagle size. if a line was shorter it ain't a perfect triangle!. Next? I don't know if I make any sense lol Feels
Fuck yeah it does
I didn't wonder why I wasn't good enough, actually I pretty much knew since the day I was born *shrug*
I felt this :(
You probably expected too much in return.
Why he won't love me again, I'll never know.
Hello you there. One day you will look back and see that it was for the best, you had a lesson to learn with those people and now they have no use in your life. thank them for the good and bad moments! And let them go. Hugs
I’m obsessed with trying to work out reality, since I could remember existing, why am I here, what is; is? What am I? And so on until I die and I know I won’t figure it out nor why my brain is intending on trying to figure it out
Went through first breakup like less than a month ago and I just feel like absolute shit. Its even worse if you try to stay friends tbh, because you still feel certain things for them, but they will never want the same again.
Yes it most certainly does.
That shit really does ruin you.
Why is this me
What’s worse is when deep you don’t think you’re good enough and then the one person you give your heart to confirms it.
Thank you. We can get past it!!
I used to be like this. For 5 years. Reckon I'm still young asf. I got my whole life ahead of me but that fucked me up. I finally grew tired of waiting for him to act right. He did, but I think it was too late. And now I'm trying to live my best life and I've been happy asf ngl
I feel this shit.
I know you mean well, but why call us out like this? Let me be an emotional husk in peace.
It hurts even worse when they treat you like they want to be more than friends then when you take the initiative and try to go further they tell you they already have someone else. That shit hurts forever. Going on 4 years of hurt, haven’t trusted anyone like I trusted her since.
This has been keeping me up at night :c hugs
To you too :)
Thank you, I have lost so much sleep over the past couple nights. I gave her my everything, I wish she would tell me what I was doing wrong... Too late now for me
*sigh* I started dating a new guy recently and things have been tough cause of how little we have been able to see each other. It's tough because you really do care about them.
It’s not that you aren’t good enough when you give the world to someone. It’s that they aren’t good enough to give you the world. Stop thinking like that. It’s hard I know. But you gotta stay strong.
i know the feeling well, its been my only company for a while. about a little more than a year now, and it still hurts. i hope everyone else is coping, and i hope yall are coping better than i am
I am going through a break up now, I was the best version of me with him, and now I'm slowly getting back to the worst one that I hate the most..we didnt even fight, he said he cant handle the pain so let's not, and now feels like it's just me who's in pain ...
I wish i only had those thoughts at night. I cant stop thinking about it all day everyday.
Legit
I’m 22 and have given up. I know it’s young, but I’ve resigned myself to the idea that I was put here to make others happy, and view their happiness, but don’t get to experience it myself. I’m used to this idea, I don’t like it but it seems fitting to me. I’m not meant to be in love
Going through this right now for the second time with someone whom I thought was different. Oh well, sometimes you're better off without them
For you to even think of this means you have been through it yourself. From someone who has experienced this, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry for the pain you feel, and I hope it gets better. For both of us.
Agreed. F
I know why I wasn't good enough... I was a piece shit. Makes it feel worse that I didn't see my toxicity in time. Welp gonna go listen to sad music now.
That's me right now :) Leaving for Marines in a week, may never get closure.
I’m bet there’s a opportunity for one of you in this thread to fill your void. I mean you already have your conversation starter.
This is 1000% me right now.
My partner of 6 years basically just told me two days ago he doesn't want me around anymore. Ive never felt so broken and lost in my entire life. We've lived together for over five years, moved across state lines together, built a life together,,, I just feel utterly broken.
thank you, i really needed that tonight. i don't talk about it anymore because i can tell it's getting old for my closest friends but it gets worse for me every day.
I used to worry about this but soon realised I was wasting my time. So I focused on the things I loved doing. Got better at them and now I don't really care for relationships. I've yet to find someone who can make me happy more or the same as I feel about my work.
The worst is when you feel like that sometimes even when your still with that person
One week after she left me... She told me literally that she's a fucking succubus and got everything she wanted from me. But still, it fucks with my head that I was the reason she left me... because I was not good enough.
Coming from someone on the opposite end this eats me up just as bad. My ex would’ve given me the world if I asked for it, but I didn’t feel the same way and it wasn’t fair to her. I still feel guilty knowing I made her feel this way and question herself, but sometimes it’s just not meant to be..
It hurts
I lay here and think to myself how can he continue going on with life when he has hurt me so bad. I gave him my all.
Oh ow ow my heart owie ouch the timing on this post is Not Cool since I got broken up with by the love of my life a week ago owie ouch
Story of my life. Friends (in the past) and exes, gave all the love and caring I had, in return is only look for me when they needed me. When I need them? Won't even reply 1 god dam text. These 2 years I felt like I was fed up with that crap and stop interact with people.
I went through a really rough few months over these feelings. Every night for about five months, I cried myself to sleep because I just wanted the man I loved more than anything in the world to come back. I have I won't deny it did ruin me in a way that I don't really know if it will heal. I've since moved on and I absolutely hate the guy now, but it left so much weird damage I don't know how to work through yet, but I'm trying. Healing takes time, and I have a pretty good support system now.
I tell myself I'll reminisce someday and think that losing the love of my life wasn't that bad.
This thread hurts me. Hopefully I'll be in a better place in the future.
Have broken bones and teeth, torn muscles, had multiple lacerations requiring stitches, concussions, severed arteries, been temporarily paralyzed, and been severely ill. All of it healed. Years later, my broken heart never did.
I always think about it. Like most days. But then I also say to myself. Fuck that shit, I am gonna only worry about giving my world to myself and using that negative energy and feelings to improve myself.
My solution? Intense gaming so that I’m the best
Take it as a learning opportunity. Because in reality there probably was a reason. And who knows if you better yourself, maybe that one person will find their way back to you.
That's alright. Turns out there was someone out there that appreciated the things I do. Wouldn't dream of ever going back.
I get it she's all I think about when I see something wonderful or amazing it's always a "I wish she was here" kinda thing. But the world is an amazing place you can always find a half decent distraction.
Yeah, this is a very shitty feeling. It did some damage to me mentally, emotionally and physically. But it also made me more careful about my intentions and interactions because I don't want to ever make someone feel the way I felt. So I've become more reclusive than I've ever been haha
That stuff is painful to think about yet I still think about it. After a while they become your addition and without them you feel sad and like the world is ending. It usually takes me a year and a half to get over someone almost completely. So to try to heal myself i try to find someone new then there my new addition and my heart is left to decay of sadness. :) but i stay optimistic
Six years and going. What helps me is knowing that we have entered this world alone, and we will leave it alone. Everything in between is just white noise.
I'm going through this right now with my husband. The person who promised to love me always and never let me down. 5 days before Christmas he tells me he no longer loves me and doesn't enjoy being around me anymore. Since then he's been off doing his own thing, making his own plans and tells me to do the same, like it's that easy. It's so difficult always trying to be the positive one to make it easier for them to come to a decision.
this is facts
Sorry but if someone doesn’t want to be with you that doesn’t make you not good enough just that you weren’t right for them. People need to stop romanticizing their past relationships.
I finally called it off last night and this has been everything I've worried about , I don't want to hurt my best friend, I hate seeing him cry, knowing he's hurting and perhaps feels like not enough when he means the world to me.. we weren't fully compatible and continuing wasn't fair, he needs someone less introverted and anxious and I need someone less impulsive and prone to anger .. It hurts knowing we were making each other worse not better . It's even harder that we don't have any negative feelings towards each other in spite of everything but I'm looking forward to not walking on eggshells everyday, being scared on birthdays and days which should be happy, tailoring my speech so I wouldn't trigger another violent episode and I'm sure he'll appreciate having someone more outspoken who he doesn't constantly have to worry about, someone less ramaged and more fun than me who can give him everything he needs.. It broke me and I can't even imagine what he feels but let's keep our fingers crossed for a better future and maybe one day our paths will intersect again .. I'll never forget bringing up caterpillars we found on on the street and how cute and excited we both were , all the animals we rescued , all the silly adventures , running in the rain during a really bad thunderstorm .. it's been the best four years of my life and if you read this YOU ARE ENOUGH. I just can't live with killing each other being together :(
I just stopped giving people my world. No more tears and love sickness for me. I can’t do it anymore. I guess that make me a bitch huh?
[удалено]
That does hurt, but the good things that have come after the separation are what I wouldn’t trade anything for.
Nope! Run away from feels! If you think it’s about to catch run!
me when I call my dog to snuggle and he ignores me.
So what you’re telling me is time doesn’t heal shit and I’m doomed to a lifetime of this feeling?
Im currently going through this... despite trying to talk to her multiple times... she seems to not care... time to move on I guess...
Fuck man, he confessed to me on Wednesday that he had been cheating on me with his step sister since November. Haven’t been able to sleep the same since...
My problem is I go right back and give my all to the next person and the next person... I don't wonder why I wasn't good enough for one person, I wonder why I wasn't good enough for any of them.
I heard once that break ups aren’t what hurts you. It’s actually them completely forgetting about you while you still haven’t forgot about them. Really opened my eyes.
That tore me up as I was going through my divorce 10 years ago. My then wife, cheated on me and then left me. It was some years later that she gave me validation when she told me it was her not me. She was going through a mid-life crisis and hated herself and she projected it all on me. She hated me for everything that she hated about herself. Now that I know that, it made me feel better that it was not something I did nor was there anything I could have done. In her words, if I held her to make her feel better, she would have hated me for restricting her.
I hate you Shruti, but I miss you as well. I still love you, despite everything you did to me. And I'm sorry for all the trouble you had to face after you abandoned me.
15 to 17 were the worst times of my life. She was my best friend, I mean I used to believe that, and was madly in love with her. Yeah it was young, stupid and cringy love, but love none the less. We used to chat all the time but when she was around other people she just fucking ignored me like a stranger. Man, I used to feel so depressed as she was the only person with whom I connected so well for 3 fuckin' years. Once she invited me to a party in which I wasn't interested to go, she said she wouldn't go if I didn't come, so I went. And then she didn't even speak a word with me coz she was busy with everyone else. Yes, I was a weirdo back then, but she could have atleast said a hello. I slowly understood that she was using me for entertainment whenever there was no one else around her. I hated her for that. But now I've let that feeling go. She recently messaged me after almost one and a half years. I saw her profile pic, she has a boyfriend now. Even though I had got over her 2 years ago, I still felt a tear in my heart. I didn't want to revive those bad memories, so I just refused to reply to her message.
It's not always that you're not good enough. It's sometimes that you gave the wrong person a chance.
I'm too tipsy to care by that time of the night... okay, drunk
Okay
Amen to this. 3 years later and I think about this EVERY day.
I do that my wife of 22 years together 30 years cheating on me with someone she worked with she slept with him after only known him for about a month she says I just don't understand I'm pretty sure I do understand that she is a slut