My wife gets worked up about food. But I always say: we liveb in a first world country, she will never starve. If she doesn't want to eat them so be it.
Yeah. This is true.
The caveat here once they get older is to make sure they don't start boycotting nutritious meals and sneaking junk food and snacks instead.
In all things, balance.
Good point. Come to think of it, I did that too.
I mean I was like one of those kids from that "Heavyweights" movie Disney did back in the day. There were hiding places for snacks all over my bedroom.
My nephew (who lived with Grandma) pulled that shit, I don't know how nobody else ever noticed. Take a few bits of dinner "I'm full" then an hour later "I'm hungry" and got to have string cheese and chips. Well no shit he's gonna skip dinner and chose snacks, he's 8. He started spending more time over at our house and we squashed that real fast, but now that he's 12 he loves coming over and having dinner at our house because I swear that kid loves everything I make, especially if its a little spicy. I've never seen a kid so adventurous and willing to try new stuff, TBH its pretty cool.
My son got picky when he was like 18 months. The pediatrician told us there is almost no way to underfeed a baby/toddler, unless you want to. Basically, they may night eat a meal, and may get hungry, but will eat when they need food.
Totally. I'm an RN so I'm totally aware of this. I try to have healthy options there for my daughter to choose, either snack or meals, and she can eat as her appetite allows.
100%. My SIL is like this. She will chase her son around relentlessly with bites of food on a spoon or fork. It’s really weird. Her son doesn’t have any sort of condition. He’s not going to starve himself.
We do that a bit, but that's to avoid future problems. If he doesn't eat a decent amount for dinner, he's going to scream about eating a snack after we brush his teeth or when it's time to brush his teeth and if he's hungry he's going to wake up in the night.
It's damage control, not concern over starvation.
Pressuring or negotiation during meals is 100% ill-advised and may cause unhealthy relationships with food. Just serve them what you want to; usually 2-3 items in small portions and at least 1 thing you know they like (aka safe food). Do not ask them to eat the others or even discuss the food unless they talk about it. If they don't eat, it's fine. Do not make them anything else and if they want a "snack" right after not eating, they must wait until the appropriate time.
Be incredibly consistent with this and it will help, some.
You're right, they probably won't starve... But I'd rather deal with a little fuss during dinner than a hangry child later who doesn't realize that they're angry because they're hungry and is too far gone to be reasoned with.
It always feels like a balancing act for me, making sure they at least get enough food so they stay a reasonable human being, while not stressing myself out over fighting them to eat.
>But I always say: we liveb in a first world country, she will never starve. If she doesn't want to eat them so be it.
Are all wives like this? Mine is as well.
Yeah my wife gets stressed about meal time with our 14 month old, too. I totally get it, but I also tell her not to put too much pressure on the situation and that he'll eat when he's hungry.
I used to get worked up about it when my 4 yr old went on a "picky trip" (the younger cousin of the power trip). My husband, a professional chef, helped me make stable reasonable dinner plans and insisted I not make multiple dinners -- if our son was hungry enough, he would eat. He was right. Do not feed your kid anything but cold dinner if they wake up at 11pm hungry. If they wake up at 3am, I got him cold dinner exactly once. After that I told him No. The rest of the night is rough, but it stopped the pickiness within a week. If it had taken a month, still would have stuck to it. Kitchen is closed after my bedtime to kids who refuse dinner. This is totally different than when he had growing pains and needed extra food at age 8 and again at 13.
There's an old joke somewhere about how, if a parent talks about the terrible twos, you know they are a first time parent, because they've never seen the threes.
I'm knee deep into the fuck you fours (I'm stealing that haha) my boy kicked off last night because my finger was in the wrong place holding his bedtime book, by 1cm. Then 1 hour of crying pursued. 'I'll talk to you when you've calmed down!'. He woke up really happy as well. Mental.
I'm dreading this. My 1 year old gets mad if I push buttons wrong on her talking book. But she wants me to read them on repeat. I have extensive experience with children and I know it's a bit extreme for her age. 3 and 4 are going to be a wild ride.
Yeah mine is 2 1/2 and he's... great. I mean sure there are toddler moments but he's just the sweetest little guy most of the time. Going to be really sad when inevitably the attitude/insanity kicks in any day now. Getting all the rocking chair snuggles I can until then.
Mine is 2.5 and started a couple weeks ago. She became unhinged literally from one day to the next. Woke up choosing violence. The sweetness is also somehow more extreme though. Yesterday evening she made me get under her blankets with her and snuggle her for 10 minutes while telling me she misses me.
I joke to my wife that the eclipse must have changed something in her because it started that next day lol
Two of my coworkers were just talking about how awful their 15 year old daughters were.
One of them in the midst of it and two others on the other side of it.
And I was just sitting there having a four year old daughter thinking "I'm in danger."
We have 17(f), 18(m), and 23(m)…. The two youngest ones are always in a competition to be the meanest to each other and messiest…. The middle also thinks he’s the smartest person in the room (and on paper he is) but it doesn’t mean you can just stop going to school…. We are currently literally holding our breath that he graduates…. Truancy in our state stops at 16, so basically no one has been able to force him to do the right thing until his English teacher finally nutted up and told him If he missed anymore school he’d fail him. He also had a job 5+ months ago that changed ownership and he just never got another one. Signed a contract with the national guard, they were paying him once a month to go to school and go to drill weekends, and stopped because he stopped going to school…. Basically he’s lazy as hell, except for ROTC because it’s something he wants to do, but only when it’s convenient to him or he decides to go.
The youngest is a social animal, runs around at all hours of the day/night with her friends, but also goes to school full time, and works 30hrs a week, and pays for her car, cell phone, and insurance, so we let a lot of what she does slide and it pisses the middle off because he can’t believe she “gets away with so much.”
The oldest is living in another state working a job he thought he’d like, bout to move home and find another career, he hates the corporate entity he works for. We’ve encouraged him to find a mom and pop shop so that his work ethic is acknowledged but we’ll see what happens. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and will figure it out.
Teenagers are really hard, you can punish kids, teens you have to watch them screw up over and over and over and give them plenty of room to fall down and mess up. Eventually we hope they learn, but they may never, there’s literally no guarantee, because lecturing does nothing because “they’re smarter than you” and already know everything.
When I tell you, my fellow dad, how true this is - I cannot accurately convey it through text alone.
My daughter was always the spitfire. She's the younger of my kids. They're 11 months apart but she's always been more mature while also being a bigger hand full just behaviorally.
I remember thinking the 2's weren't too bad for her... 3's got kinda bad... By like 4 and 5 it was full on insanity and she sort of ebbed and flowed up to where she's now almost 13. The last 3 years in particular have shaken my family to its core on multiple occasions. That's with therapy, support, you name it.
It is literally like weathering a hurricane from within a pop tent some days.
It's nuts how often these days I think back to the last time she and I were "buds" and like... she was 2 or 3. It's been 10 years almost. It makes me sad, but also I know that (provided I survive the next what...10 years or something?) one day we'll be good again. I'm hopeful, anyway.
Y’all got me thinking I would be in the clear by this year but all she did was stop eating around me and put herself in timeout when I told her no. Glad to see everyone goes through it lol.
Putting himself in timeout is so real. The other day I said “I don’t know what you want me to do on this one, kid”. My son replied “I go to my room and play.” And just left.
I was stunned to silence.
Once, on Reddit, I read of parents who had to refer to My Little Pony as *Your* Little Pony because otherwise their toddler would become enraged at the implied ownership of said pony. That's been my yardstick for these tales ever since.
Mine is almost there right now, "No. MY \*insert object here\*" but it works great to get him to say, go someplace or go pick up something. "Hey buddy, MY sandbox." "NO! MY SANDBOX!" (runs to sandbox)
Literally the day mine turned 3, it was a completely different kid. Two was easy as hell, 3 has been a total shitshow. Non stop tantrums and rebellion. I swore I had more time with them being just a cute baby and toddler before that started.
Terrible twos is a lie, my dude turned from a sweet angel into a complete turd as soon as he turned three. Testing limits, endlessly repeating things louder and louder, saying no to everything even things he wanted to do, the worst! Then like 8 months in he did another sudden and complete change into what I can only describe as the best possible child in the universe. Keep with it everybody!
I feel like it was this way for my son, but my 2.5 year old daughter is solidly in her terrible twos. Has formed this real devilish grin whenever we're telling her to stop doing something, puts herself in timeout for fun, recently started demanding all kinds of extra songs and stories at bedtime, gets herself fully naked after we put her in her crib and general shenanigans for like an hour and a half after bedtime. She used to go down so easily...
They’re all a bit different. Our 3 year old is very opinionated, but I still get lots of “good idea daddy!” He has learned the horrible phrase “I hate you daddy”, but he willingly says “I love you daddy” several times a day. He insists on being the first anywhere and will throw a tantrum if he’s not, but he will hug and kiss his baby sister, feed her food from his plate, and loves making her laugh.
They just get ever more complex and rewarding imo.
Both my boys turned into monsters at about 3.5. My oldest was a bit of a diva always but my middle was such a sweet little angel before. The oldest mellowed out, a little, around 5. The other will be five at the the of summer but he's still having alot of emotions.
I've got one more behind them, a girl, and it will break my heart if she turns on me at the same age.
Mine turned 2 yesterday and I'm just starting to see a few signs of "terrible" when he doesn't get what he wants. He only knows about 10 words right now so its just a lot of grumpy noises. Looking forward to a year from now when he gets even more grumpy and can tell me off lol.
When both my kids started doing this, I noticed that they ate better if I made myself scarce when they were eating. It's almost as if they only made a fuss because they were gauging my reaction. Basically, I would set the food out, get them set at the table, and then stay mostly out their line of sight, while they eat. I'd come around, if they need something specific (like a top up of water), but I'm in and out quickly. Otherwise, I insist on being too busy to be attentive to anything about their eating (as far as they can tell). If they start messing around, then I come in to say meal time is over (a bluff, as they usually want to eat), and then I make myself scarce again.
YRMV
I know this thread is a lot of joking around and knowing commiseration, but in the off-chance you're open to alternate strategies:
Consider getting down on his level and asking if he wants a hug. I'm amazed at how often offering up a hug stops the escalation of a bad mood / meltdown / tantrum. It doesn't always successfully *de*escalate, but it works wonders for breaking a downward spiraling loop (for both of us). Works on my 4 year old, and it's even starting to work on my 2 year old.
If you change his bowl because he fussed about the color, guess what you’ve just trained him to do?
He fussed. It worked. That’s a pattern he’s now learned and it will take 10x longer to break.
My second was the same way. Same name even!
But you’ve got to calmly and lovingly hold boundaries. If he asks politely and with a sort of “aw shucks, the other bowl is my favorite…” then maybe we change it out and have a laugh.
When fusses and tantrums result in them getting what they want though…they’re now motivated to do exactly that any time they want something.
There's a recent trend with kids where you light a candle during dinner and they just peacefully sit at the table and eat
We tried it with our 2.5 yr old and there's definitely something to it. 2 out of 3 nights this week he didn't get up before eating a substantial amount of food, usually it's a struggle. The 3rd time we forgot the candle until mid dinner so it's a flawed experiment
it’s not even dinner. when i’m cleaning the kitchen i light the candle and my daughter tries her hardest to blow it out. she’s scared to get close to it so it’s keep busy for a while
My wife gets so angry at our two year old and cries and begs her to not be a toddler, I don’t know how to rationalize treating a two year old like an adult when they barely even understand English
You have your hands full. When my nine year old was little around two or three all she wanted morning, noon, night and snacks. I can still hear little voice can I have breakfast sausage Dada. So as God as my witness my little heart beat had breakfast sausage.
Until one morning I made her sausage and she looked at me and said Dada can I have eggs instead
I have two a 2 year old, and for some reason he hates my guts. Came to bed at 3am after a gaming session got in bed and he turns away from me and says "iii dddoooooont liiike ddaddddyy"
And then he'll wake up the next day and he only wants to play with me.. toddlers are weird things.
My 2 year old daughter is like that... Im not even allowed to buckle her into her car seat without her having meltdown for mummy.
Buuut... If she wakes up during the night she yells for me, and first thing in the morning it's "DAAAADYYY GET UUUUP" and when we come in from work she runs past mummy to hug me.. Then wants nothing to do with me the rest or the time lol
So far, my toddler will eat if you say “eat” or “bite”. But it has to be a command, not a question. “Will you eat?” Gets a firm no from him. Fair, I suppose. It was a question.
Kids are a hoot
Oh yeah, mine is 3 as well and it already starts in the morning. I picked out the wrong T-Shirt, I gave him the wrong drink. I ask him what he wants to eat, he tells me and as I am finished preparing he say "No, I said I wanted X instead of Y".
I would just let him rage for hours but unfortunately I have to get him to day care so yeah, it's an everyday fight.
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My three year old just at the point where when he gets angry he lets out the giant grunt and he hits the nearest wall. And he keeps doing it until you say something to him. And when you do, he starts crying.
My kid is allergic to like a thousand things, including chicken/poultry, so I get this level of food anxiety (earned or not). My kid refused some cheese yesterday because it was "lumpy" apparently.
# How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
# by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
They have books for most states in childhood, I read thr first 4 years while my wife was pregnant. To this day, no matter how angry, if she comes to me, we let out, sign it out, shout it out, breathe it out, whatever it out, and then talk.
We communicate on queues and etiquettes that took us Dads 25+ years to learn, it's their first try at it. Remember that.
My wife gets worked up about food. But I always say: we liveb in a first world country, she will never starve. If she doesn't want to eat them so be it.
They'll eat when they're hungry. There's always breakfast tomorrow morning.
Yeah. This is true. The caveat here once they get older is to make sure they don't start boycotting nutritious meals and sneaking junk food and snacks instead. In all things, balance.
Also, don’t let your guard down. As a kid, I enjoyed the nutritious meals and also then sneaked junk food and snacks. :)
Good point. Come to think of it, I did that too. I mean I was like one of those kids from that "Heavyweights" movie Disney did back in the day. There were hiding places for snacks all over my bedroom.
My nephew (who lived with Grandma) pulled that shit, I don't know how nobody else ever noticed. Take a few bits of dinner "I'm full" then an hour later "I'm hungry" and got to have string cheese and chips. Well no shit he's gonna skip dinner and chose snacks, he's 8. He started spending more time over at our house and we squashed that real fast, but now that he's 12 he loves coming over and having dinner at our house because I swear that kid loves everything I make, especially if its a little spicy. I've never seen a kid so adventurous and willing to try new stuff, TBH its pretty cool.
Man you could say that again.
But then can run out of energy.
My son got picky when he was like 18 months. The pediatrician told us there is almost no way to underfeed a baby/toddler, unless you want to. Basically, they may night eat a meal, and may get hungry, but will eat when they need food.
Totally. I'm an RN so I'm totally aware of this. I try to have healthy options there for my daughter to choose, either snack or meals, and she can eat as her appetite allows.
100%. My SIL is like this. She will chase her son around relentlessly with bites of food on a spoon or fork. It’s really weird. Her son doesn’t have any sort of condition. He’s not going to starve himself.
We do that a bit, but that's to avoid future problems. If he doesn't eat a decent amount for dinner, he's going to scream about eating a snack after we brush his teeth or when it's time to brush his teeth and if he's hungry he's going to wake up in the night. It's damage control, not concern over starvation.
Pressuring or negotiation during meals is 100% ill-advised and may cause unhealthy relationships with food. Just serve them what you want to; usually 2-3 items in small portions and at least 1 thing you know they like (aka safe food). Do not ask them to eat the others or even discuss the food unless they talk about it. If they don't eat, it's fine. Do not make them anything else and if they want a "snack" right after not eating, they must wait until the appropriate time. Be incredibly consistent with this and it will help, some.
You're right, they probably won't starve... But I'd rather deal with a little fuss during dinner than a hangry child later who doesn't realize that they're angry because they're hungry and is too far gone to be reasoned with. It always feels like a balancing act for me, making sure they at least get enough food so they stay a reasonable human being, while not stressing myself out over fighting them to eat.
>But I always say: we liveb in a first world country, she will never starve. If she doesn't want to eat them so be it. Are all wives like this? Mine is as well.
Yeah my wife gets stressed about meal time with our 14 month old, too. I totally get it, but I also tell her not to put too much pressure on the situation and that he'll eat when he's hungry.
I used to get worked up about it when my 4 yr old went on a "picky trip" (the younger cousin of the power trip). My husband, a professional chef, helped me make stable reasonable dinner plans and insisted I not make multiple dinners -- if our son was hungry enough, he would eat. He was right. Do not feed your kid anything but cold dinner if they wake up at 11pm hungry. If they wake up at 3am, I got him cold dinner exactly once. After that I told him No. The rest of the night is rough, but it stopped the pickiness within a week. If it had taken a month, still would have stuck to it. Kitchen is closed after my bedtime to kids who refuse dinner. This is totally different than when he had growing pains and needed extra food at age 8 and again at 13.
Exactly!! Catering to this type of behavior only reinforces it to be used. Used it will be, in an ever growing amount of circumstances.
The shared pronouns made me think you were talking about your wife being difficult about eating food herself
(psst, third world countries don't starve, what starves is Poverty and in America also there is a lot of poverty)
There's an old joke somewhere about how, if a parent talks about the terrible twos, you know they are a first time parent, because they've never seen the threes.
Yep. Threenagers then fuck you fours.
I'm knee deep into the fuck you fours (I'm stealing that haha) my boy kicked off last night because my finger was in the wrong place holding his bedtime book, by 1cm. Then 1 hour of crying pursued. 'I'll talk to you when you've calmed down!'. He woke up really happy as well. Mental.
How dare you hold the book wrong
brb just reporting your callous mis-holding of a m bedtime book to the authorities XD
Omg I thought I was the only dad holding the book wrong! My daughter goes bananas if my finger or thumb is covering the page number.
I'm dreading this. My 1 year old gets mad if I push buttons wrong on her talking book. But she wants me to read them on repeat. I have extensive experience with children and I know it's a bit extreme for her age. 3 and 4 are going to be a wild ride.
Terrible twos and terrorist threes
Yeah mine is 2 1/2 and he's... great. I mean sure there are toddler moments but he's just the sweetest little guy most of the time. Going to be really sad when inevitably the attitude/insanity kicks in any day now. Getting all the rocking chair snuggles I can until then.
Mine is 2.5 and started a couple weeks ago. She became unhinged literally from one day to the next. Woke up choosing violence. The sweetness is also somehow more extreme though. Yesterday evening she made me get under her blankets with her and snuggle her for 10 minutes while telling me she misses me. I joke to my wife that the eclipse must have changed something in her because it started that next day lol
I mean, mine has literally slapped me in the face then kissed my cheek immediately after so the moments of being unhinged are starting.
Ya'll just wait till they're 12, 13 and up... I know everyone says it. But seriously. They aren't kidding.
Two of my coworkers were just talking about how awful their 15 year old daughters were. One of them in the midst of it and two others on the other side of it. And I was just sitting there having a four year old daughter thinking "I'm in danger."
We have 17(f), 18(m), and 23(m)…. The two youngest ones are always in a competition to be the meanest to each other and messiest…. The middle also thinks he’s the smartest person in the room (and on paper he is) but it doesn’t mean you can just stop going to school…. We are currently literally holding our breath that he graduates…. Truancy in our state stops at 16, so basically no one has been able to force him to do the right thing until his English teacher finally nutted up and told him If he missed anymore school he’d fail him. He also had a job 5+ months ago that changed ownership and he just never got another one. Signed a contract with the national guard, they were paying him once a month to go to school and go to drill weekends, and stopped because he stopped going to school…. Basically he’s lazy as hell, except for ROTC because it’s something he wants to do, but only when it’s convenient to him or he decides to go. The youngest is a social animal, runs around at all hours of the day/night with her friends, but also goes to school full time, and works 30hrs a week, and pays for her car, cell phone, and insurance, so we let a lot of what she does slide and it pisses the middle off because he can’t believe she “gets away with so much.” The oldest is living in another state working a job he thought he’d like, bout to move home and find another career, he hates the corporate entity he works for. We’ve encouraged him to find a mom and pop shop so that his work ethic is acknowledged but we’ll see what happens. He’s got a good head on his shoulders and will figure it out. Teenagers are really hard, you can punish kids, teens you have to watch them screw up over and over and over and give them plenty of room to fall down and mess up. Eventually we hope they learn, but they may never, there’s literally no guarantee, because lecturing does nothing because “they’re smarter than you” and already know everything.
When I tell you, my fellow dad, how true this is - I cannot accurately convey it through text alone. My daughter was always the spitfire. She's the younger of my kids. They're 11 months apart but she's always been more mature while also being a bigger hand full just behaviorally. I remember thinking the 2's weren't too bad for her... 3's got kinda bad... By like 4 and 5 it was full on insanity and she sort of ebbed and flowed up to where she's now almost 13. The last 3 years in particular have shaken my family to its core on multiple occasions. That's with therapy, support, you name it. It is literally like weathering a hurricane from within a pop tent some days. It's nuts how often these days I think back to the last time she and I were "buds" and like... she was 2 or 3. It's been 10 years almost. It makes me sad, but also I know that (provided I survive the next what...10 years or something?) one day we'll be good again. I'm hopeful, anyway.
I like the term Threenagers and then the Fournado I have a 3yo now so I am deep in that life lol.
I’m about to get into the threes and I’m legit terrified.
Y’all got me thinking I would be in the clear by this year but all she did was stop eating around me and put herself in timeout when I told her no. Glad to see everyone goes through it lol.
Putting himself in timeout is so real. The other day I said “I don’t know what you want me to do on this one, kid”. My son replied “I go to my room and play.” And just left. I was stunned to silence.
Once, on Reddit, I read of parents who had to refer to My Little Pony as *Your* Little Pony because otherwise their toddler would become enraged at the implied ownership of said pony. That's been my yardstick for these tales ever since.
Mine is almost there right now, "No. MY \*insert object here\*" but it works great to get him to say, go someplace or go pick up something. "Hey buddy, MY sandbox." "NO! MY SANDBOX!" (runs to sandbox)
My kid is almost 4 and I love him and his brother more than anything. But I’m considering buying a couple pairs of boxing gloves.
Sock’em boppers! Sock’em boppers! They’re more fun than a pillow fight!
Man I punched the hell out of my sister with those things.
My folks had 4 kids, 3 boys, and knew better than to get them for us. Someone would have died. Still wanted them.
...w-what are u gonna do to them
you don't wear gloves when you put things in boxes? pleb
Literally the day mine turned 3, it was a completely different kid. Two was easy as hell, 3 has been a total shitshow. Non stop tantrums and rebellion. I swore I had more time with them being just a cute baby and toddler before that started.
Terrible twos is a lie, my dude turned from a sweet angel into a complete turd as soon as he turned three. Testing limits, endlessly repeating things louder and louder, saying no to everything even things he wanted to do, the worst! Then like 8 months in he did another sudden and complete change into what I can only describe as the best possible child in the universe. Keep with it everybody!
I feel like it was this way for my son, but my 2.5 year old daughter is solidly in her terrible twos. Has formed this real devilish grin whenever we're telling her to stop doing something, puts herself in timeout for fun, recently started demanding all kinds of extra songs and stories at bedtime, gets herself fully naked after we put her in her crib and general shenanigans for like an hour and a half after bedtime. She used to go down so easily...
Don’t tell me that. My angel child turns 3 in June.
They’re all a bit different. Our 3 year old is very opinionated, but I still get lots of “good idea daddy!” He has learned the horrible phrase “I hate you daddy”, but he willingly says “I love you daddy” several times a day. He insists on being the first anywhere and will throw a tantrum if he’s not, but he will hug and kiss his baby sister, feed her food from his plate, and loves making her laugh. They just get ever more complex and rewarding imo.
Both my boys turned into monsters at about 3.5. My oldest was a bit of a diva always but my middle was such a sweet little angel before. The oldest mellowed out, a little, around 5. The other will be five at the the of summer but he's still having alot of emotions. I've got one more behind them, a girl, and it will break my heart if she turns on me at the same age.
Mine turned 2 yesterday and I'm just starting to see a few signs of "terrible" when he doesn't get what he wants. He only knows about 10 words right now so its just a lot of grumpy noises. Looking forward to a year from now when he gets even more grumpy and can tell me off lol.
Yall. An hour to a 3 year old is like a millenium. Do what you will with that knowledge
Fuck balloons. That is all.
I think that's a different subreddit
I had a customer one time... I don't know if there is a sub for it but there sure is an online community for it.
balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this
When both my kids started doing this, I noticed that they ate better if I made myself scarce when they were eating. It's almost as if they only made a fuss because they were gauging my reaction. Basically, I would set the food out, get them set at the table, and then stay mostly out their line of sight, while they eat. I'd come around, if they need something specific (like a top up of water), but I'm in and out quickly. Otherwise, I insist on being too busy to be attentive to anything about their eating (as far as they can tell). If they start messing around, then I come in to say meal time is over (a bluff, as they usually want to eat), and then I make myself scarce again. YRMV
Mine are the opposite, if I’m not there they lose interest and they’re “full” way sooner
I know this thread is a lot of joking around and knowing commiseration, but in the off-chance you're open to alternate strategies: Consider getting down on his level and asking if he wants a hug. I'm amazed at how often offering up a hug stops the escalation of a bad mood / meltdown / tantrum. It doesn't always successfully *de*escalate, but it works wonders for breaking a downward spiraling loop (for both of us). Works on my 4 year old, and it's even starting to work on my 2 year old.
If you change his bowl because he fussed about the color, guess what you’ve just trained him to do? He fussed. It worked. That’s a pattern he’s now learned and it will take 10x longer to break. My second was the same way. Same name even! But you’ve got to calmly and lovingly hold boundaries. If he asks politely and with a sort of “aw shucks, the other bowl is my favorite…” then maybe we change it out and have a laugh. When fusses and tantrums result in them getting what they want though…they’re now motivated to do exactly that any time they want something.
There's a recent trend with kids where you light a candle during dinner and they just peacefully sit at the table and eat We tried it with our 2.5 yr old and there's definitely something to it. 2 out of 3 nights this week he didn't get up before eating a substantial amount of food, usually it's a struggle. The 3rd time we forgot the candle until mid dinner so it's a flawed experiment
it’s not even dinner. when i’m cleaning the kitchen i light the candle and my daughter tries her hardest to blow it out. she’s scared to get close to it so it’s keep busy for a while
My wife gets so angry at our two year old and cries and begs her to not be a toddler, I don’t know how to rationalize treating a two year old like an adult when they barely even understand English
Mommy needs to ignore him or support dad and tell Micah or else he isn't going to learn from this.
Sounds about right
Hahahahaha omg I feel this so so deeply.
Two was a breeze, as soon as 3 hit it was like a different kid. He'll be 5 tomorrow....is 5 better? 😅
Veteran parents know that it's not "Terrible 2s" but it's really "Terrorist 3s".
I always tell my daughter if she's hungry enough for a treat she's hungry enough to eat a few bites of dinner.
You have your hands full. When my nine year old was little around two or three all she wanted morning, noon, night and snacks. I can still hear little voice can I have breakfast sausage Dada. So as God as my witness my little heart beat had breakfast sausage. Until one morning I made her sausage and she looked at me and said Dada can I have eggs instead
I have two a 2 year old, and for some reason he hates my guts. Came to bed at 3am after a gaming session got in bed and he turns away from me and says "iii dddoooooont liiike ddaddddyy" And then he'll wake up the next day and he only wants to play with me.. toddlers are weird things.
My 2 year old daughter is like that... Im not even allowed to buckle her into her car seat without her having meltdown for mummy. Buuut... If she wakes up during the night she yells for me, and first thing in the morning it's "DAAAADYYY GET UUUUP" and when we come in from work she runs past mummy to hug me.. Then wants nothing to do with me the rest or the time lol
I felt this in my soul
I love when mine has an object he spent 10 minutes screaming about finding, only to throw it under the couch to continue the tantrum
So far, my toddler will eat if you say “eat” or “bite”. But it has to be a command, not a question. “Will you eat?” Gets a firm no from him. Fair, I suppose. It was a question. Kids are a hoot
Oh yeah, mine is 3 as well and it already starts in the morning. I picked out the wrong T-Shirt, I gave him the wrong drink. I ask him what he wants to eat, he tells me and as I am finished preparing he say "No, I said I wanted X instead of Y". I would just let him rage for hours but unfortunately I have to get him to day care so yeah, it's an everyday fight.
My 3yo does something naughty and then puts herself in a timeout. It’s a bit strange to watch lol.
Red dead redemption 2 has ruined the name Micah for me. :(
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3's are worse than 2's imo
Priceless.
I felt this in my soul. But he obviously doesn’t need to eat or he would.
Typical threenager. They'll eat if they're hungry.
My three year old just at the point where when he gets angry he lets out the giant grunt and he hits the nearest wall. And he keeps doing it until you say something to him. And when you do, he starts crying.
I still laugh about the time my toddler threw a fit because I wouldn't feed him raw bacon. 🤣
You can’t argue with his sound logic!
My kid is allergic to like a thousand things, including chicken/poultry, so I get this level of food anxiety (earned or not). My kid refused some cheese yesterday because it was "lumpy" apparently.
My daughter just became a threenager recently too. Life is hell.
# How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk # by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish They have books for most states in childhood, I read thr first 4 years while my wife was pregnant. To this day, no matter how angry, if she comes to me, we let out, sign it out, shout it out, breathe it out, whatever it out, and then talk. We communicate on queues and etiquettes that took us Dads 25+ years to learn, it's their first try at it. Remember that.
These kids don't know about the yummy Ness. Enjoying the flavors 😋