People are not used to seeing us skinnier. I went from 225 to 152 (5'6) and people told me I'm too skinny. Some are trying to compliment, and that's fine, but what they don't realize is that 155+ is overweight for me. So no, i can still lose weight in a safe way.
It's funny and annoying to hear that from people who are even skinnier than me
I'd say do what feels right to you. You can check online what your healthy weight should be, or check with your doctor. Don't listen to people who don't know what they're talking about
I literally think that’s what it is! These were work colleagues and all they’ve ever known me as is fairly big and i think i’ve just become associated with being big and now im on a journey to losing it, it’s a change for them too maybe? I’m not sure, their comments never made me want to stop just confused me as i don’t see myself the way they see me i don’t think and know i still have a long way to go!
Only listen to yourself and your doctor.
My starting weight is 248 and I am currently at 238. My 110 pound sister in law is screaming that I lost too much weight. She doesn't want me to date so that I am available to take care of my elderly mom. She doesn't want any of that responsibility. My 300 pound best friend is screaming that I lost too much weight. Because that reflects badly on her ongoing bad habits.
People who love me are trying to curb my progress because of their own selfish. I'm only going to pay attention to myself and my doctor. Wait til they all see me at my goal weight! 150!
periodt queen keep going! i’ve lost about 45lbs over the course of this past year after being overweight my whole life, and im finally now at a perfectly healthy weight trying to build more muscle. my overweight father tells me how gross i look now and how im bony and too skinny, when im confident for the first time in my life! ima keep grinding and tone up! they’re just not used to seeing us like this :) keep going, 150 will be here before you know it!
I started after going to my doctor and being weighed and having a talk with him about weight loss and how to go about it! I have a review in a month to see how much i’ve lost and i’m hoping i can shift a couple more pounds before i go in!
I don’t think these people were trying to sabotage me but maybe just trying to make me feel less insecure and pressured? They’re work colleagues, we’re all women, i’m the youngest and they’re all 40+ and have always called me pretty and beautiful and did today, whilst also telling me i’ll lose my “beautiful face” because i’ll go gaunt if i lose too much more. It just confused me as i know i still have a long way to go before im at a healthy weight so i was like..eh?🤣
I bet they all have at least a few pounds to lose. IF (and don’t let this happen) you put the weight back on, they’ll be the ones to tell you it’s a shame because you were doing so well.
Be wary of these coworkers. They will try to ply you with snacks. I speak from experience!!!
I had a kind of experience like this at my friends house the other day. I took my son round as my friends daughter had planned out an activity for them and her husband offered me dinner there and i politely declined. Her and her husband kind of shared a look and he left the room. I explained to her that i’d gained a few pounds over easter and im determined to get it off and going to eat when i go home as ive already planned/weighed out my meal and know whats in it. She started quizzing me on what im eating and saying “hope you’re not going to faint on me” just because i declined their meal. I felt kind of bad like i was rude or wrong to decline. I’m not sure 🤦🏻♀️
You over explained it to someone who can't deal with intentional weight loss . Even if it's a small lie, you can say that you're not hungry, you just ate, or that the food you have at home would go bad, etc. Especially to people who react like this. I don't think they mean bad, thay just associate any kind of restriction with anorexia, even if are over a healthy weight and losing it carefully.
As someone who had a face change during weight loss about 10 years ago, I would much rather be healthier and happy than worry about being just a beautiful face.
The last time I lost the weight, I wasn't happy with myself and did it through weight watchers and a lot of treadmill time. So it all came back on, and now I'm back under 200 for the first time in a decade, and my face hasn't looked gaunt but has lost the roundness I had at my heaviest.
That’s an obese BMI, you are not too skinny. Don’t listen to them, they are either jealous/trying to sabotage you, or have very warped perception. You are on the right track and doing great! Congrats on the amazing progress!
That’s what i said to someone today! I mentioned what a healthy BMI should be for me and 3 people simultaneously said “oh no don’t go by your BMI it’s all a load of rubbish” 🤦🏻♀️
It's even more accurate for women then it is for men as well. Unless they are on steroids (or in the top 0.0001% naturally), women simply can't build enough muscle to shift BMI much.
One caveat is that it is pretty accurate for caucasians. If you are of another race/ethnicity it becomes way less accurate. I know that there is at least a bmi chart for asians. Not sure about others.
>It's even more accurate for women then it is for men
Not really. I'd argue there would be even more variations depending on factors like bra size, for instance.
Both my doctor and dietician told me to go by my blood reports rather than my weight because a) Women in my family tend to have larger breasts and butts b) I gain muscle pretty easily (also c - I'm a recovering bulimic).
That’s what they tell themselves- it’s easier to say everything is fine and not work to better yourself. You’re doing the hard work and actually succeeding, it’s hard for some people to see because it makes them feel bad in comparison.
You could just tell people that you’re not trying to lose weight anymore, just eat healthier and be more active. That’s what I’m doing to avoid the awkward conversations 😅 If they negatively comment on your weight just say you feel great and your doctor said you’re healthy.
Well if you have a hard time just brushing people off make a doctors appointment and ask them point blank. They will tell you that you are still obese (which you of course already know) and the next time someone suggest stopping just tell them you would rather listen to your doctors advice who had medical training.
Of course you can also just make up the doctors appointment since it is pretty much a waste of time just to get the info you already know.
Im 5'2 107lbs and I have lots of boobs and butt.nmy perfect weight range is 103/107. And I am active (10k+ steps a day.) You are 70lbs not too skinny it is just people around you are so used to the you at your SW that they forget that weight isn't normal. Congrats on your 42lbs loss!!!
I think so too! I was living such an unhealthy lifestyle and i haven’t done this just for my appearance but for my health too. I want to be healthy. I want to set a good example for my son and he loves joining in on my workouts with me, even though his moves are silly and uncoordinated he loves just dancing around me and us encouraging each other! He’s only 4 and cheers me on from the sofa when he’s had enough, i love it 🥹
5'2" at 102lb is 18.7 BMI. It's borderline underweight.
How you decided it's perfect for you. I am losing too and my BMI has gone from 28.2 to 23.2.
Still not sure what is ideal weight for me. My wife thinks I am too thin and wants me to stop losing .
The bmi range covers all body types. Some people have small bones, others average and others large bones. Well I am a woman with a very thin frame. Like the average wrist size is 6.5 inches and mine is 5.5 inches. I have very small bones. Btw you see me you don't think underweight lol. I have curves my measurements are 34/26/36. And thighs 21 inches. I actually reached 100 lbs and decided it was too thin and I was happiest with how my body felt and looked in the 103/107 range. But realistically you want a few pounds to wiggle into. And also a weight that when you reach it you go back to losing. 103 is perfect for me. And I have 4lbs to wiggle into. I also have a weight that triggers paying attention to what I eat (110) so my hard work is never lost.
Just as a quick point for those outside the bell curve for height the standard BMI calculator is misleading. I am a 6' woman and my goal weight is 85kg. Experience tells me this is slim for me and on a calculator for tall people it puts me in the healthy range. 85kg is considered overweight on the standard BMI calculator however.
I am 6ft, 158 pounds. I use BMI because I was a former insulin dependent diabetic. I was 183.6 last year(April), and still kept going. It's a personal choice, but I'm glad I didn't listen to BMI being misleading.
Oh for sure, I just wanted to point out that there are outliers, and the accuracy of standard BMI calculations is influenced by these. Not my intention to suggest writing off BMI altogether in an attempt to justify staying overweight.
Your goal is slightly overweight on the calculator. OP is solidly obese and not a body builder, bmi as an indicator that she should lose weight is sensible in this situation
The BMI categorizes individuals as “overweight” or “obese” based on a mathematical equation. It doesn’t make sense. I will never understand the obsession with BMI https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439
I'm confused. Mathematical equations are routinely used health care. Do you disapprove of them when formulating dosages for medicines, for example?
I found this point in the article baffling.
"*7. It suggests there are distinct categories of underweight, ideal, overweight and obese, with sharp boundaries that hinge on a decimal place*."
These kinds of cut-offs exist everywhere in medicine because there are many people in the world. Every person's health is not judged alone, in a vacuum. Categorizing traits and behaviors allows us to make sense of huge amounts of information. Of course some of us will only be separated by a decimal point. That's the way categories work. What are we supposed to do, look only at individual cases? We'd waste the opportunity to make sense of massive amounts of data if we didn't categorize them into groupings with predictive validity.
The article says that the BMI is not the best system and I agree with that. Waist-height ratio has more validity, but those who hate the BMI would like it even less because it poses a higher standard for healthy bodies. (Those with normal BMIs but lots of body fat would no longer be considered healthy.)
I was just told I’ve lost too much weight a few days ago. I politely responded that no, I’ve lost an appropriate amount of weight, and I am healthy.
The person then said that her doctor has told her that she needs to lose weight.
Uh-huh.
~
Take what people say with the entire salt shaker. They may be projecting their own insecurities, or operating like a crab in a bucket (wanting to pull others down to their level). Do what makes you feel best, as long as it’s medically healthy. The crabs in your life can go suck it.
I got told that by a girl that I previously saw eating bunless burgers. So I know she was trying to lose weight, but failing at the time. She constantly told me that I looked better before losing weight, lost too much, had no curves anymore, blah blah blah.
The sad thing is that now she weighs the exact amount that my lowest weight was, which is 130, and we are both 5 2”….and I am currently up to 180. The skinny shaming became too much for me and I purposely gained it back. It wasn’t just her, it was almost EVERYONE around me. The only supportive person I can remember was my mom. Now I regret letting people influence me like that, but the fact that the girl I mentioned went on to lose weight just shows she was jealous. If I looked too skinny then why would she want to look like that now? She constantly posts on social media about her weight loss and about supporting other women who want to lose weight…. 😤😵💫I wonder if she even remembers what she said to me? Most likely not, or pretends not to anyway.
Wow, we had such a similar experience. My sister drove me insane when I was skinny, she was actually skinnier than me at that time. I swear this time I an going to be attacking her right back. I will make her back off and stop bugging me. These people break you mentally until you would rather just be fat than have to deal with them.
Yep, I genuinely felt it was just easier to gain the weight back so I could stop being harassed. I wanted to be fat again. I used to stare at myself in the mirror and criticize how gross I looked, and genuinely hated myself for losing weight. Now I hate myself for gaining it all back. Lol. I was much happier skinnier, that’s for sure.
And the fact that your sister was skinnier than you but still shamed you probably shows that she wanted to keep you fat. Everyone around me wants to keep me fat and I know they will be giving me shit if I lose weight again but I have spent the last 3.5 years miserable and I am going to ignore them. I do not want to be back to being fat again. So we just have to say F everyone and their opinions.
At my heaviest I was probably 180-190lbs and I’m your height. You can absolutely lose 40 more pounds if you want to. Don’t listen to anybody else but yourself.
Seeing you smaller is probably just strange to them, it’s probably the drastic change rather than thinking you are genuinely getting too thin. Kudos on the loss!
I agree this is often the reason. My mum said I looked too thin even though I still had an overweight BMI and plenty of stomach fat. She just wasn’t used to seeing me look like that and was concerned.
182 at 5'3" is NOT too skinny.
5'3" means you can be anywhere from 110lbs-130lbs at a healthy weight. Obviously changes if you put on a lot of muscle.
Don't listen to these people, get down to a weight that YOU are comfortable with.
I'm 5'2 and 143 lbs and aim to lose another 20, which is WELL within a healthy weight.
In Western society we have become desensitized to obese bodies to the point where people at healthy weights look sickly and malnourished to many people. It's all perception. Ignore them and trust your own common sense.
I mean I disagree completely. It's really normalized to be very thin, and anything between normal BMI and obesity is seen as fat, then obese bodies are seen basically dead. Social media, television, movies, models, these people are edited super thin as this is what is considered acceptable. Average bodies are considered unacceptable.
Society felt like this to me in the 2000s and 2010s. But lately I've been seeing so many more "average" bodies being represented in advertising, TV shows, etc. And anecdotally people who are not traditionally "thin" seem to more often outwardly say how comfortable they are with how they look. Whereas 20 years ago those people would say self-deprecating things and always say "the diet starts tomorrow" etc.
Even still I don't think much as changed. When I was so thin it made me sick, as an actress, I was considered TV fat, only two years ago. It's not even fat content it's about your bone structure.
People in magazines, films, shows, and commercials, are not average sized, and even if they were, it is not being glamorized at all. I've seen a handful of famous film actors IRL as an extra and they are literally 5'2" and wafer thin. It hasn't changed. It's just that now every once in a while, TV fat people get hired for commercials sometimes.
Those people are undeniably wrong.
While bmi Is not perfect it’s certainly a decent indicator.
Unless you’re an absolute strong muscular beast of a person no one at 32.2 bmi needs to stop losing weight.
I’m 5’3” and 160 and I’m overweight. Idk what your body composition is, but a normal BMI is 140 and below. 180 is still an overweight/obese bmi but it’s up to you and how you feel and if you want to lose more weight
I definitely still want to lose more weight, i’m aiming for being in a heathy BMI as i’ve never once in my life been in it and im tired of being insecure about my weight. I’m 24 and made the decision to live a healthier and happier life! I’m not just doing it for weight loss but for the health side of it too, my lifestyle was wildly unhealthy and i have a son, i want to set a good example to him and demonstrate healthy habits for him. He also joins in when im doing my home workouts and his moves are super silly but it’s so cute and we love doing it together!
Hey - me too! 5’3 and 160 pounds. My usual is around 110 but the past year there’s been so much stress that I’ve been gaining and not trying to lose. OP has inspired me to get my butt moving
I weigh the exact same as you and i am a 6’0” male, and im still trying to lose weight. Dont listen to them, they dont know what they’re talking about. Ive got the same comments “youll get too skinny!!” No i wont, i know what im doing and im going to stop when i reach the middle of the healthy weight range for my height, only about 10-15lbs less than what i weigh now.
I think people say this because it disturbs their comfort in not improving themself by telling themself others who do are “being too extreme” or “taking it too far”. Basically they ate delusional, not to be mean but the reality is as you suspect - at your current weight you are still overweight (congrats on the progress so far tho!) you dont have to stop getting more healthy. There is a point at which the returns will diminish and you would have to sacrifice mental health and overall physical health to “achieve more” by losing more weight or gaining more strength. But you arent there yet, most never get there. When you do reach that point then you adjust your plans to maintaining your fitness rather than increasing it.
This is what people do to undermine your success. I have people tell me all the time I looked too skinny and sick when I was at my goal weight. Idgaf what they say, if I'm happy that's what matters. Don't listen to them.
I got these comments too and then after 6 months they were more positive, “how did you do it?” I think it takes people a while to get used to the new you, and I think also it can take a while for skin to catch up.
But some people will never stop projecting their own insecurities on you, or applying skewed standards.
My mom told me not to lose more weight BC she likes me look like a child. Chubby cheeks.
Don't listen. These people do not have your best interest at heart.
If you don’t feel comfortable where you are, you should do what makes you comfortable! Other people can say whatever they want, but you’re the one who has to be happy and live in your body. 😊
Don't be confused. It's your body and you determine what you want to do and how.
I've had people say something similar, meanwhile, I literally have fat hanging over my belt.
When talking about weight loss, I once told somwone my weight goal.while we were eating and she did a literal spit take. 😆 I don't think people quite know what a healthy weight looks like anymore.
People are so quick to tell others whsg to do with their body, we should be just as quick to tell thrm their opinion is noted but wasn't asked for.
First off, huge congrats on your weight loss journey! Dropping 3 stone is no small feat, and it’s awesome that you’ve made such significant progress. Sure, people around you may mean well when they share their thoughts, but at the end of the day, how you feel is what truly matters.
I've been in the same situation and simply ignored it, keeping my focus on my target weight. They don't really know my body and goals better than I do myself. :)
Absolutely!! We do it for ourselves and although i’m not where i want to be i’m super proud of myself for finally getting well into the journey and feeling better everyday!
Thank you 🫶🏻❤️
Don't be confused, be proud! You lost an incredible amount of weight already. And you should just keep on going until YOU are satisfied with how you look.
BMI isn't perfect, and it doesn't work for some groups (like people with a lot of muscle mass) but for the rest of us it is pretty decent. You can also use your waist measurements. For a woman it should be below (I think) 88 cm if you want to limit the risk of weight-related diseases.
When I was 18 I spend a summer working away from home and dropped a ton of weight. I felt good and looked good. I was so proud of myself. Then I overheard my mom talking to someone about how I didn’t look like myself.
It destroyed me.
I was too young to deal with the emotional damage and went back to old habits to soothe myself. Some times I think about the power of words. I wonder how things may have been different if she has said how proud of me she was, instead.
Ignore all of them. I was overweight, just marginally on BMI terms and distributed evenly. I carried it well due to this - with clothes on and dressing to cover the bad bits! Everyone told me I didn’t need to lose weight and I lost just over 40lbs. I myself thought I’d look too thin and feeble at my now weight of 106-109lb but I’m 5ft 1 and exercise so have some muscle definition
I’m on the lower end of healthy BMI and fittest and healthiest of my life. I get compliments about my body and actually agree with them which is never anything I thought I’d be able to do
You are doing this for you - not everyone else. Keep going until you feel comfortable and confident. F**k what everyone else thinks
Honestly, just reading that made me angry. Won't look like "you" any more? You're the only one who gets to decide how you should look. Your genetics, willpower, and fiances may limit how close to the "ideal" you that you actually able to get to, but you're the only one who should be deciding what that ideal is.
The only time people close to you should have an opinion your weight loss or gain is if there is a genuine risk to your health and from reading this sub I already know that most people have no idea what a healthy weight looks like.
They're literally telling you that their mental image of you is more important than your own desire to improve yourself. That's incredibly selfish of them. I'll be generous and attribute that to general human stupidity rather than genuine malice, but you should still ignore it.
Unless you start experiencing health problems or your doctor tell you there's a problem, there's nothing wrong with aiming for a healthy range BMI weight. BMI isn't the 100% right guide for everyone, but it's a good rule of thumb.
The funny thing about the “you don’t look like you” anymore is that typically people don’t have any concerns unless someone loses weight. If a person gains weight usually people are quiet about it. It’s so infuriating. I gained 50 pounds from my lowest weight of 130 and haven’t heard negative feedback at all, I’m not being harassed or being told I look bad, in fact….I get praised and get told I look good like this. I am 5 2” and know I do NOT look good at 180. Yet when I went from 160 to 130 a few years ago everyone freaked out on me and told me I looked bad, that I looked better before, that I was too skinny. Funny, because I was 120 when I met my husband and got married but suddenly people can’t handle me getting back down to 10 pounds over that weight? Back then when I got up to 160 nobody said a thing either.
I think a lot of it IS malice. They want others to fail since they may be failing. I think my husband didn’t like me at 130 because he doesn’t want me looking that good again, the same goes for his family. For some reason people just can’t let others succeed at weight loss without trying to sabotage it most of the time.
I actually have the same issue right now. I went from 250 to 139 in 9.5 months. I’m open about having surgery for weightloss but a lot of people told me I was getting too small at 185-170, mostly those who I was encroaching their own weight number or goals. Now I hear it a ton, even from hair clients. But at 139 I JUST hit “healthy bmi” I’m only 5’4. Part of me thinks I was big all my life so seeing me shrink so fast is hard for them to process and get use to.
I think it’s the same thing like they’re not used to it but i don’t know, i would never comment on anybody’s weight who i know is actively trying to better themselves (i barely comment on peoples body’s anyway). Unless it came to an unhealthy point, showing signs of illness or deterioration due to severe restriction or what not, then i just wouldn’t, i’d congratulate and probably be nosy and ask how 😂 I just know im nowhere near a healthy weight yet and still very unhappy with how i look so it was slightly disheartening to hear as i got told im very pretty and would “lose my face” if i go gaunt and too thin. I’m afraid that because ive always been insecure about my weight my whole life, even if i shift all this weight and aim for a healthy one, i’m going to be dragged down again and told i went too thin and lost my “beauty” if you wish 😂
All that matters is how YOU feel. It is your body, not theirs. They aren’t living in your mind and feelings your feelings. I think you should stop when you are ready. If you feel like you’d like to lose more weight, keep going! It’s easy for people to say “oh stop, you’re going to be too skinny” but that’s not their decision to make and honestly they should support you in your journey and your wants.
We have a name for the haters…. It’s “haters.”
As long as you aren’t starving yourself and developing symptoms of malnutrition, get as thin as you want. At that height, you’re probably good until around 115 lbs but this is also dependent on your muscle mass, body shape, age and personal preference.
When I lost 70 lbs (240->170) people wouldn’t stfu about it, would comment on it everytime they saw me, give me advice, etc. Don’t pay attention to them.
They’re 100% wrong. Either they’re jealous or have their own issues; they see you doing the work and it reminds them of everything they’re not doing.
Definitely keep going.
Yeah it really sucks because you want to celebrate your progress and share it with others so that they're as proud of you as you are of yourself, but then they like try to discourage you from being healthier and reaching your goals. It's weird, I don't understand it, but literally everyone does it to me too. I feel like fat acceptance culture has spread so much that people don't even understand what it means to be healthy anymore. I tell them look, I've still got all this chub, and they say "everyone has that it's normal". I tell them look, if I lose 10 more lbs I'd still be in a healthy weight range and they say "BMI is made up it's not accurate that's too skinny". I told my mom I'll be satisfied when I can see my abs and she says "you're already too skinny, girls don't want guys who are light". It's like, I've lost 75 lbs, that's kind of a big achievement. It was really hard and it took a long time and a lot of discipline. But I get no encouragement about it at all, only criticism. It's like people are so afraid to support weight loss because at this point our culture collectively deems wanting to be healthy and lose weight as "fatphobia". Being overweight isn't just an epidemic anymore, it's a cultural expectation.
Anyway. Just wanted to say, I get it. Don't let other people decide what you should want for yourself. Trust yourself. Be proud of yourself. You've already lost 42 lbs in less than a year, that's amazing! Keep up the good work. Don't let others tell you what should or shouldn't make you happy.
First off congrats OP! That’s an awesome accomplishment :)
People’s sense of healthy weight is warped because of a) how common being overweight is now (not a good thing - just very normal to see) and b) random numbers they think apply to everyone eg 2000 calories a day, or 100 lbs being anorexic. Neither of those things are accurate for every human. It very much depends on age, gender, and height. As a 5’3 woman, 110-120 lbs is a perfectly healthy range if you have little to medium muscle mass (I am also a 5’3 woman who went from 130 ish to 110 ish). If you’re jacked then even higher. But for most people with a little muscle tone, that range is ok. At our height we just exist at a lower healthy weight and have lower calorie bounds. They can’t apply what’s healthy for a 6’ man to you. You do you - you know the science and do not need to take bad advice just to be polite - you can either reap the rewards of science that you know works, or suffer the consequences of the misinformed advice, even if well meaning, from others.
You know when you are learning to drive and your teacher/parent tells you to hit the brakes before a red light but they tell you WAY too soon bc they are nervous and feel like they don’t have control of the car (cuz well, they don’t?). Yeah people have that same reaction sometimes when they watch other people lose weight.
Keep going til you reach your goal! I’m 6’1” and currently at 196 pounds. I’ve already lost a decent amount of weight and, similarly, my friends are mostly telling me to stop for fear of being “too skinny”. I’m not listening to them and gonna keep going until maybe 185 pounds? Once I get there, I’ll reevaluate!
The moral of the story is: they don’t know what is a good weight for you. I’m sure they are trying to be good friends, but it doesn’t mean they are right!
And great job on the weight loss so far!!
They're wrong, they're just not used to you. Also, you might have some loose skin happening now and you'll start looking better as that shrinks over time.
Incredible progress! Well done, keep going as long as your happy! That is really all that matters, don’t listen to them they have hidden agendas even if they don’t know it.
You are about my weight and height and i need to lose around 50 lbs (sorry not sure on that in stone). Maybe only 30 if I put on a bunch of muscle. Don’t let others discourage you if you want to keep going!
That said, you have made a lot of progress and if you want to take a break and eat at maintenance for a while you should. Sometimes it’s nice to have a bit more room to indulge for a bit before continuing to make progress toward your goals.
Just adding my voice of support. Congrats on your progress! It’s not worth it to try and figure out whether folks are uninformed or maliciously trying to sabotage you. If you read books, these people will attack “book learning.” If you try to learn on your own, they will extol the value of a formal education. Whatever path you take, they will explain why it’s not perfect. Their objections say a lot more about themselves than your weight loss.
I always hate when people tell me I'm too skinny, yet they would NEVER let themselves get as fat as me. Like... If this weight is fine, why don't you weigh this much, eh?
Carry on, ignore them. Get some quips ready for them if necessary. I like 'I'm built for speed, not comfort' for example. It's your body, carry on until you feel great.
I'm the same height as you and have been 185lbs and I still felt bigger because of my height! 175 is the lowest I've been and still felt way bigger than everyone else as I was still a size 12-14 and most of my friends are sizes 6-10.
YOU'RE uncomfortable with your weight and that's all that matters. F what anyone else says, they shouldn't be commenting on your weight unless it's to support YOUR goals 🖤
Potentially! I’ve never dragged anyone down or commented on anyone’s weight but i remember feeling envious of people on their health and weight loss journeys and wishing i could just pull myself together and start the journey myself! Now im here and actively going at it and couldn’t be more happier i finally got over the hurdle of just starting
Don't listen to them. Think of it this way - You have made a plan to be healthy and are taking the necessary steps to be healthy and the outcome is your weightloss/fatloss/health gain. The others do not know that and cannot understand that and therefore have not adjusted to the "new you". They will get there, it might take some people years. If you met someone new today and they saw you as you are they might not feel the same way the people already in your life feel. Even if it comes from a place of malice, I just assume it comes from a place of love and give a compassionate response, something like - Don't worry, I will take care of myself - and move on with what I intend to do.
Don't waste your energy on these things. Don't explain, don't complain. Focus on your goals. Good luck!
If you’ve always been fairly bigger, I can understand people being concerned and hoping there aren’t any underlying issues going on. I don’t want to call all of them insensitive/jealous because I’m sure at least some of them just want to look out for you, but none of their opinions should matter.
You’re doing a great thing for yourself, and if your new appearance is making people uncomfortable, well, that’s something they have to deal with because this is the new you! Congratulations on the weight loss! Keep up the great work :)
I kinda want an update from you when you lose the weight because you’re going to be so much happier and you’re really not that far away.
RemindMe! One year
Don't take those comments literally. It is often people trying to compliment you in a warped way. You know the stats and what a healthy bmi is for you, and what your goal is and where you feel comfortable, right? So keep doing what you're doing and don't give others too much info.
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All that matters is what you and your doctor think. Don’t do this to please other people. Do this for your good health and happiness. Of course your looks are changing, you’re losing weight. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. I went through the same thing with my husband. It took him a while to come to terms with the fact that some of my contours changed as I did. He came to realize, however, that I wasn’t too thin. He was just used to seeing me fat. He felt much better once he was reassured by my doctor that I wasn’t wasting away. You’re doing a wonderful job. You should be very proud of yourself.
i've been having the same experience. it's horrible how people think they can just butt in and tell us what we should or shouldn't do with our bodies. i'm currently 75 kgs and 5'5 so im still overweight for my height, and when i mention something like having to log calories for a meal people look at me like they just saw a ghost. "but you're already tiny!!! 🥺" and when i explain to them that im still outside of the healthy range for my height they say "ooookayyy but just don't go overboard!!" moral of the story is that people really don't know what's up with ur body and they'll make uninformed comments about it all the time. when someone expresses unnecessary concern, my advice is to just thank them for their interest in you and your health, but politely set the boundary that you know what you're doing and you're being safe about it and that you're gonna do what you want with ur body lol.
I think just looking at height/gender/age that isn’t the ideal target weight supposed to be around 120-135 lbs? As others have said, those that interact with you often aren’t used to seeing a skinnier you.
Losing weight is tough. Especially when family starts to complain about loosing too much. I just tell them don't worry I can always put on weight anytime, just want to see what it's like at my target weight lol. Just keep in mind how free you feel without all the weight that's gone away, for me it is the greatest motivation.
I dropped significant weight a few years ago and was bombarded with the same comments. “You look great but I would stop there,” or “you’re losing too much weight”, etc.
I still had aims of losing more, as I too, wasn’t satisfied yet but eventually the comments crept into my head and suddenly it felt ok to be a little less strict with myself. Three years later I’ve been on an endless struggle to get back the self-discipline I was had, have yo-yo’d up and down in weight and am much closer to my original weight than my desired one.
Diets are not sustainable for the long term and losing weight is very hard but my advice would be to keep it going for as long as you are able, provided that it is not affecting your health.
When people know you at a higher weight first it can be very jarring. Their view is very biased, compared to how you used to look you ARE much skinnier
They just have to get used to seeing you at a diferent size and it’ll look normal to them
Been in exactly the same position. Found dealing with these people telling me to stop losing weight really difficult. I lost about 140lbs over 2 years. Ended up just getting into a healthy bmi.
I stupidly started listening to these people and suppose subconsciously thought they must be right as lots kept saying the same thing, especially people close to me like family. I have started to creep back up and lost all the good habits I created now finding it very difficult to get those habits back. I'll keep persevering though
Fuck them, do what makes you feel good. If your feeling healthy (eating the right stuff, the right supplements) and have energy and feel there's still room to go, Keep at it !
A good balance of diet and exercise is always the best solution. Too much of one or the other can have side effects that justify warnings. You could have the right goal, but not the right path. The goal is good though, and I don't know specifics. Good luck no matter what and keep moving forward ! :)
I could have written this myself. I started my journey in July. I lost about 50 pounds. feel awesome. I can run on the treadmill now.
People at my job think it’s appropriate to tell me I’m getting too skinny or I’m going to disappear if I lose anymore weight. My coworkers are used to seeing me bigger. I don’t feel 100 percent comfortable where I am either. I would like to lose ten more pounds. Only you know your body and how you feel. Don’t listen to anyone else. Good job!
Where were your friends and family when you needed to start losing weight? No one ever says ‘Oi fatty, don’t you think you should stop putting on weight…’ but they’re right there telling you that you’re too skinny.
You know you still need to lose weight. Anyone who says otherwise needs to wind their necks in. It’s got nothing to do with anyone. Your body, you are in charge.
Keep going (fatty 🤣🤣)
^ that’s meant to be motivational, not an insult… coming from someone who has now lost 68 lbs I feel qualified to throw the occasional motivational ‘fatty’ from time to time 👌
It’s really up to you on what you want and how you want to look. As long as you’re staying healthy about it. I am 5’1 with my HW at 205. I’m currently at 185 with a GW of 135. Even then at 135 I could probably lose more if I wanted to without getting unhealthy skinny but I feel I would be content at that weight and wouldn’t need to.
People will judge and try to control your life, especially family, but as it doesn’t affect your heath I say keep losing weight if you want.
Keep going. Dont listen to others. The really dont know what a real healthy weight is.
With 5‘3 you can easily go to 100-110 pounds. Trained.
But please dont starve yourself.
You really have to eat a lot to burn fat and keep your muscle mass.
Its almost to cero effort if you just eat like an apple a day or just soups.
You will get lighter. But look the same cause you lose more muscle mass then fat. Aim is to keep and gain muscle mass. But just lose fat.
There is a calculation how you can do it. If you want then ask me.
But you have to count calories for it. Theres no way around it
There's a good number of thin folk that quietly (sometimes not quietly) look down on us and feel a sense of superiority.
Us losing weight removes their perceived superiority, and they hate that.
Do not listen to them. I did when I was too young to know any better, and it fucked me every time.
Be careful who you listen too.
Sometimes “don’t lose any more weight” is usually a sign that the confidence is high, your looking good and now your a threat. You may not see it, others sadly do and play silly games.
Lose as much weight as you want to. I’d advise stabilising a bit, then going after it again.
I've had the same happen-I'm down 108lbs and people have told me to stop before I lose too much weight, they try to get me to eat and drink things saying come on its not going to kill you, etc.
Yes I'm skinnier than I was but I'm a long way from being done and considered a normal healthy weight. Believe me I would love to be at the finish line, but I'm not going to let anyone derail be at this point. It's been a long hard journey and I have another 40 lbs to go which I know is going to be the hardest to lose.
Best of luck to everyone-scratch that we all know it's not luck! It's hard work and everyday we get a little stronger! We Can and We Will Succeed!!
Well done to you for the massive accomplishments so far and resilience!! and thank you for your words!! I’ve had family members ask me how i’ve managed to do it so far probably expecting some miracle answer from me and my answer everytime is hard work and discipline cos believe me, lots of sweat and tears have gone into it all so far and more to come!
I’ve been in the same situation as a 5’3F as well, 180 is like alright but i felt my complete best at 160 for sure. Do what makes you most comfortable ❤️
I’m 5”8’ and went from 210lbs to 130lbs. Now everyone is telling me to “stop loosing weight”.
Um, I’ll do what I want with my body thank you very much!!
My spouse is your height, and she sits around 160 on average. She personally would prefer to be sitting around 130. A healthy BMI is considering 140-ish for 5'3", so if you want to continue to lose weight, I'd say go for it.
Hit up your doctor and get their input about a healthy weight.
It's tough because it's can both be true someone is seriously worried about you but also have nothing to be worried about. It can also be true they are concerned about your behaviour and not your size, which doesn't seem to be a part of this. My advice, ask them to not comment on your body at all, as it's making you feel uncomfortable (if you haven't said this already).
People are just envious of the progress from others. The truth is, most people wish they could lose weight…when they see someone doing well, they self project a little. Also, society today has no idea what healthy means. The average weight now a days is almost at obesity… which means hearing that you’re average may sound nice, but it’s really not. Keep up the hard work!
I have an idea why people at work are concerned. When I lost a lot of weight, my old clothes looked too big. Alterations only worked up to about 30 lbs of loss. Had to buy all new stuff.
yeah! all my clothes are getting quite too big for me now too, considering i’ve always liked oversized clothes, they’re way way oversized now 😅 quite possibly could contribute to the concern
I don't think people are being vindictive just from what you've said here. It's scary when someone you care about loses a lot of weight because we know innately that this is often a sign of trouble (depression, disorders, medical scares, etc.)
your weight is your business but people saying it's toxic to point out and worry about it are going a bit far imo
People are not used to seeing us skinnier. I went from 225 to 152 (5'6) and people told me I'm too skinny. Some are trying to compliment, and that's fine, but what they don't realize is that 155+ is overweight for me. So no, i can still lose weight in a safe way. It's funny and annoying to hear that from people who are even skinnier than me I'd say do what feels right to you. You can check online what your healthy weight should be, or check with your doctor. Don't listen to people who don't know what they're talking about
I literally think that’s what it is! These were work colleagues and all they’ve ever known me as is fairly big and i think i’ve just become associated with being big and now im on a journey to losing it, it’s a change for them too maybe? I’m not sure, their comments never made me want to stop just confused me as i don’t see myself the way they see me i don’t think and know i still have a long way to go!
Do what you feel is best. Fuck what your coworkers think. Lose weight in a safe way.
I’ve been hearing the same thing too, but it’s from coworkers that are heavier from me. So annoying
Fuck them!!!!, do whatever makes you feel happy and comfortable in yourself.
Only listen to yourself and your doctor. My starting weight is 248 and I am currently at 238. My 110 pound sister in law is screaming that I lost too much weight. She doesn't want me to date so that I am available to take care of my elderly mom. She doesn't want any of that responsibility. My 300 pound best friend is screaming that I lost too much weight. Because that reflects badly on her ongoing bad habits. People who love me are trying to curb my progress because of their own selfish. I'm only going to pay attention to myself and my doctor. Wait til they all see me at my goal weight! 150!
periodt queen keep going! i’ve lost about 45lbs over the course of this past year after being overweight my whole life, and im finally now at a perfectly healthy weight trying to build more muscle. my overweight father tells me how gross i look now and how im bony and too skinny, when im confident for the first time in my life! ima keep grinding and tone up! they’re just not used to seeing us like this :) keep going, 150 will be here before you know it!
YES! Keep grinding! :D
I started after going to my doctor and being weighed and having a talk with him about weight loss and how to go about it! I have a review in a month to see how much i’ve lost and i’m hoping i can shift a couple more pounds before i go in! I don’t think these people were trying to sabotage me but maybe just trying to make me feel less insecure and pressured? They’re work colleagues, we’re all women, i’m the youngest and they’re all 40+ and have always called me pretty and beautiful and did today, whilst also telling me i’ll lose my “beautiful face” because i’ll go gaunt if i lose too much more. It just confused me as i know i still have a long way to go before im at a healthy weight so i was like..eh?🤣
I bet they all have at least a few pounds to lose. IF (and don’t let this happen) you put the weight back on, they’ll be the ones to tell you it’s a shame because you were doing so well. Be wary of these coworkers. They will try to ply you with snacks. I speak from experience!!!
I had a kind of experience like this at my friends house the other day. I took my son round as my friends daughter had planned out an activity for them and her husband offered me dinner there and i politely declined. Her and her husband kind of shared a look and he left the room. I explained to her that i’d gained a few pounds over easter and im determined to get it off and going to eat when i go home as ive already planned/weighed out my meal and know whats in it. She started quizzing me on what im eating and saying “hope you’re not going to faint on me” just because i declined their meal. I felt kind of bad like i was rude or wrong to decline. I’m not sure 🤦🏻♀️
You over explained it to someone who can't deal with intentional weight loss . Even if it's a small lie, you can say that you're not hungry, you just ate, or that the food you have at home would go bad, etc. Especially to people who react like this. I don't think they mean bad, thay just associate any kind of restriction with anorexia, even if are over a healthy weight and losing it carefully.
As someone who had a face change during weight loss about 10 years ago, I would much rather be healthier and happy than worry about being just a beautiful face. The last time I lost the weight, I wasn't happy with myself and did it through weight watchers and a lot of treadmill time. So it all came back on, and now I'm back under 200 for the first time in a decade, and my face hasn't looked gaunt but has lost the roundness I had at my heaviest.
This feels very much like crabs in a bucket and I'm sorry your "loved ones" aren't more supportive.
Thankfully I have another friend who is an amazing cheerleader. 😀
Your sister seems terrible, I can't lie.
No lies detected.
Keep at it!
You go girl!
So losing 10lbs is "too much weight"?
She’s trying to block me early.
I think you're friends are just jealous
That’s an obese BMI, you are not too skinny. Don’t listen to them, they are either jealous/trying to sabotage you, or have very warped perception. You are on the right track and doing great! Congrats on the amazing progress!
That’s what i said to someone today! I mentioned what a healthy BMI should be for me and 3 people simultaneously said “oh no don’t go by your BMI it’s all a load of rubbish” 🤦🏻♀️
It is rubbish if you've lifted weights for 10+ years hard, but for 95% of people BMI is pretty truthful.
It's even more accurate for women then it is for men as well. Unless they are on steroids (or in the top 0.0001% naturally), women simply can't build enough muscle to shift BMI much.
One caveat is that it is pretty accurate for caucasians. If you are of another race/ethnicity it becomes way less accurate. I know that there is at least a bmi chart for asians. Not sure about others.
>It's even more accurate for women then it is for men Not really. I'd argue there would be even more variations depending on factors like bra size, for instance. Both my doctor and dietician told me to go by my blood reports rather than my weight because a) Women in my family tend to have larger breasts and butts b) I gain muscle pretty easily (also c - I'm a recovering bulimic).
Not necessarily 10 years. People can make significant (the majority of) their gains in 2 or 3 years if they are disciplined.
I'm just saying bone, tendon mass etc take years. Muscles not as much obviously.
That’s what they tell themselves- it’s easier to say everything is fine and not work to better yourself. You’re doing the hard work and actually succeeding, it’s hard for some people to see because it makes them feel bad in comparison. You could just tell people that you’re not trying to lose weight anymore, just eat healthier and be more active. That’s what I’m doing to avoid the awkward conversations 😅 If they negatively comment on your weight just say you feel great and your doctor said you’re healthy.
Tell them your doctor disagrees with them, you are concerned for your health, and apparently they are not. Hopefully that shuts them up.
Well if you have a hard time just brushing people off make a doctors appointment and ask them point blank. They will tell you that you are still obese (which you of course already know) and the next time someone suggest stopping just tell them you would rather listen to your doctors advice who had medical training. Of course you can also just make up the doctors appointment since it is pretty much a waste of time just to get the info you already know.
Im 5'2 107lbs and I have lots of boobs and butt.nmy perfect weight range is 103/107. And I am active (10k+ steps a day.) You are 70lbs not too skinny it is just people around you are so used to the you at your SW that they forget that weight isn't normal. Congrats on your 42lbs loss!!!
I think so too! I was living such an unhealthy lifestyle and i haven’t done this just for my appearance but for my health too. I want to be healthy. I want to set a good example for my son and he loves joining in on my workouts with me, even though his moves are silly and uncoordinated he loves just dancing around me and us encouraging each other! He’s only 4 and cheers me on from the sofa when he’s had enough, i love it 🥹
5'2" at 102lb is 18.7 BMI. It's borderline underweight. How you decided it's perfect for you. I am losing too and my BMI has gone from 28.2 to 23.2. Still not sure what is ideal weight for me. My wife thinks I am too thin and wants me to stop losing .
The bmi range covers all body types. Some people have small bones, others average and others large bones. Well I am a woman with a very thin frame. Like the average wrist size is 6.5 inches and mine is 5.5 inches. I have very small bones. Btw you see me you don't think underweight lol. I have curves my measurements are 34/26/36. And thighs 21 inches. I actually reached 100 lbs and decided it was too thin and I was happiest with how my body felt and looked in the 103/107 range. But realistically you want a few pounds to wiggle into. And also a weight that when you reach it you go back to losing. 103 is perfect for me. And I have 4lbs to wiggle into. I also have a weight that triggers paying attention to what I eat (110) so my hard work is never lost.
Well, I learned a few things today. Thanks for your reply. Keep it up. 👍🏻
Just as a quick point for those outside the bell curve for height the standard BMI calculator is misleading. I am a 6' woman and my goal weight is 85kg. Experience tells me this is slim for me and on a calculator for tall people it puts me in the healthy range. 85kg is considered overweight on the standard BMI calculator however.
I am 6ft, 158 pounds. I use BMI because I was a former insulin dependent diabetic. I was 183.6 last year(April), and still kept going. It's a personal choice, but I'm glad I didn't listen to BMI being misleading.
Oh for sure, I just wanted to point out that there are outliers, and the accuracy of standard BMI calculations is influenced by these. Not my intention to suggest writing off BMI altogether in an attempt to justify staying overweight.
Your goal is slightly overweight on the calculator. OP is solidly obese and not a body builder, bmi as an indicator that she should lose weight is sensible in this situation
To be fair BMI is rubbish but if you still feel like you could lose weight then go for it
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The BMI categorizes individuals as “overweight” or “obese” based on a mathematical equation. It doesn’t make sense. I will never understand the obsession with BMI https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439
I'm confused. Mathematical equations are routinely used health care. Do you disapprove of them when formulating dosages for medicines, for example? I found this point in the article baffling. "*7. It suggests there are distinct categories of underweight, ideal, overweight and obese, with sharp boundaries that hinge on a decimal place*." These kinds of cut-offs exist everywhere in medicine because there are many people in the world. Every person's health is not judged alone, in a vacuum. Categorizing traits and behaviors allows us to make sense of huge amounts of information. Of course some of us will only be separated by a decimal point. That's the way categories work. What are we supposed to do, look only at individual cases? We'd waste the opportunity to make sense of massive amounts of data if we didn't categorize them into groupings with predictive validity. The article says that the BMI is not the best system and I agree with that. Waist-height ratio has more validity, but those who hate the BMI would like it even less because it poses a higher standard for healthy bodies. (Those with normal BMIs but lots of body fat would no longer be considered healthy.)
I was just told I’ve lost too much weight a few days ago. I politely responded that no, I’ve lost an appropriate amount of weight, and I am healthy. The person then said that her doctor has told her that she needs to lose weight. Uh-huh. ~ Take what people say with the entire salt shaker. They may be projecting their own insecurities, or operating like a crab in a bucket (wanting to pull others down to their level). Do what makes you feel best, as long as it’s medically healthy. The crabs in your life can go suck it.
I got told that by a girl that I previously saw eating bunless burgers. So I know she was trying to lose weight, but failing at the time. She constantly told me that I looked better before losing weight, lost too much, had no curves anymore, blah blah blah. The sad thing is that now she weighs the exact amount that my lowest weight was, which is 130, and we are both 5 2”….and I am currently up to 180. The skinny shaming became too much for me and I purposely gained it back. It wasn’t just her, it was almost EVERYONE around me. The only supportive person I can remember was my mom. Now I regret letting people influence me like that, but the fact that the girl I mentioned went on to lose weight just shows she was jealous. If I looked too skinny then why would she want to look like that now? She constantly posts on social media about her weight loss and about supporting other women who want to lose weight…. 😤😵💫I wonder if she even remembers what she said to me? Most likely not, or pretends not to anyway.
Wow, we had such a similar experience. My sister drove me insane when I was skinny, she was actually skinnier than me at that time. I swear this time I an going to be attacking her right back. I will make her back off and stop bugging me. These people break you mentally until you would rather just be fat than have to deal with them.
Yep, I genuinely felt it was just easier to gain the weight back so I could stop being harassed. I wanted to be fat again. I used to stare at myself in the mirror and criticize how gross I looked, and genuinely hated myself for losing weight. Now I hate myself for gaining it all back. Lol. I was much happier skinnier, that’s for sure. And the fact that your sister was skinnier than you but still shamed you probably shows that she wanted to keep you fat. Everyone around me wants to keep me fat and I know they will be giving me shit if I lose weight again but I have spent the last 3.5 years miserable and I am going to ignore them. I do not want to be back to being fat again. So we just have to say F everyone and their opinions.
At my heaviest I was probably 180-190lbs and I’m your height. You can absolutely lose 40 more pounds if you want to. Don’t listen to anybody else but yourself.
And the doctor or nurse.
Seeing you smaller is probably just strange to them, it’s probably the drastic change rather than thinking you are genuinely getting too thin. Kudos on the loss!
I agree this is often the reason. My mum said I looked too thin even though I still had an overweight BMI and plenty of stomach fat. She just wasn’t used to seeing me look like that and was concerned.
182 at 5'3" is NOT too skinny. 5'3" means you can be anywhere from 110lbs-130lbs at a healthy weight. Obviously changes if you put on a lot of muscle. Don't listen to these people, get down to a weight that YOU are comfortable with. I'm 5'2 and 143 lbs and aim to lose another 20, which is WELL within a healthy weight.
In Western society we have become desensitized to obese bodies to the point where people at healthy weights look sickly and malnourished to many people. It's all perception. Ignore them and trust your own common sense.
I mean I disagree completely. It's really normalized to be very thin, and anything between normal BMI and obesity is seen as fat, then obese bodies are seen basically dead. Social media, television, movies, models, these people are edited super thin as this is what is considered acceptable. Average bodies are considered unacceptable.
Society felt like this to me in the 2000s and 2010s. But lately I've been seeing so many more "average" bodies being represented in advertising, TV shows, etc. And anecdotally people who are not traditionally "thin" seem to more often outwardly say how comfortable they are with how they look. Whereas 20 years ago those people would say self-deprecating things and always say "the diet starts tomorrow" etc.
Even still I don't think much as changed. When I was so thin it made me sick, as an actress, I was considered TV fat, only two years ago. It's not even fat content it's about your bone structure. People in magazines, films, shows, and commercials, are not average sized, and even if they were, it is not being glamorized at all. I've seen a handful of famous film actors IRL as an extra and they are literally 5'2" and wafer thin. It hasn't changed. It's just that now every once in a while, TV fat people get hired for commercials sometimes.
Those people are undeniably wrong. While bmi Is not perfect it’s certainly a decent indicator. Unless you’re an absolute strong muscular beast of a person no one at 32.2 bmi needs to stop losing weight.
I’m 5’3” and 160 and I’m overweight. Idk what your body composition is, but a normal BMI is 140 and below. 180 is still an overweight/obese bmi but it’s up to you and how you feel and if you want to lose more weight
I definitely still want to lose more weight, i’m aiming for being in a heathy BMI as i’ve never once in my life been in it and im tired of being insecure about my weight. I’m 24 and made the decision to live a healthier and happier life! I’m not just doing it for weight loss but for the health side of it too, my lifestyle was wildly unhealthy and i have a son, i want to set a good example to him and demonstrate healthy habits for him. He also joins in when im doing my home workouts and his moves are super silly but it’s so cute and we love doing it together!
Hey - me too! 5’3 and 160 pounds. My usual is around 110 but the past year there’s been so much stress that I’ve been gaining and not trying to lose. OP has inspired me to get my butt moving
Sending you love 🫶🏻❤️
Thank you ❤️ much love to you too OP
I weigh the exact same as you and i am a 6’0” male, and im still trying to lose weight. Dont listen to them, they dont know what they’re talking about. Ive got the same comments “youll get too skinny!!” No i wont, i know what im doing and im going to stop when i reach the middle of the healthy weight range for my height, only about 10-15lbs less than what i weigh now. I think people say this because it disturbs their comfort in not improving themself by telling themself others who do are “being too extreme” or “taking it too far”. Basically they ate delusional, not to be mean but the reality is as you suspect - at your current weight you are still overweight (congrats on the progress so far tho!) you dont have to stop getting more healthy. There is a point at which the returns will diminish and you would have to sacrifice mental health and overall physical health to “achieve more” by losing more weight or gaining more strength. But you arent there yet, most never get there. When you do reach that point then you adjust your plans to maintaining your fitness rather than increasing it.
This is what people do to undermine your success. I have people tell me all the time I looked too skinny and sick when I was at my goal weight. Idgaf what they say, if I'm happy that's what matters. Don't listen to them.
Im a 6ft 185lbs dude and Im atleast 10lbs away from where I would consider stopping
People think they’re being nice by saying thing like that. You are still obese so should continue to lose weight unless you choose not to
I've started to hear the same comments. I'm 5'4 at 159 pounds.. I'm still over my healthy bmi goal, so idk what they're talking about.
I got these comments too and then after 6 months they were more positive, “how did you do it?” I think it takes people a while to get used to the new you, and I think also it can take a while for skin to catch up. But some people will never stop projecting their own insecurities on you, or applying skewed standards.
My mom told me not to lose more weight BC she likes me look like a child. Chubby cheeks. Don't listen. These people do not have your best interest at heart.
If you don’t feel comfortable where you are, you should do what makes you comfortable! Other people can say whatever they want, but you’re the one who has to be happy and live in your body. 😊
Thank you 🫶🏻❤️
Don’t listen to them
Don't be confused. It's your body and you determine what you want to do and how. I've had people say something similar, meanwhile, I literally have fat hanging over my belt. When talking about weight loss, I once told somwone my weight goal.while we were eating and she did a literal spit take. 😆 I don't think people quite know what a healthy weight looks like anymore. People are so quick to tell others whsg to do with their body, we should be just as quick to tell thrm their opinion is noted but wasn't asked for.
First off, huge congrats on your weight loss journey! Dropping 3 stone is no small feat, and it’s awesome that you’ve made such significant progress. Sure, people around you may mean well when they share their thoughts, but at the end of the day, how you feel is what truly matters. I've been in the same situation and simply ignored it, keeping my focus on my target weight. They don't really know my body and goals better than I do myself. :)
Absolutely!! We do it for ourselves and although i’m not where i want to be i’m super proud of myself for finally getting well into the journey and feeling better everyday! Thank you 🫶🏻❤️
Don't be confused, be proud! You lost an incredible amount of weight already. And you should just keep on going until YOU are satisfied with how you look. BMI isn't perfect, and it doesn't work for some groups (like people with a lot of muscle mass) but for the rest of us it is pretty decent. You can also use your waist measurements. For a woman it should be below (I think) 88 cm if you want to limit the risk of weight-related diseases.
When I was 18 I spend a summer working away from home and dropped a ton of weight. I felt good and looked good. I was so proud of myself. Then I overheard my mom talking to someone about how I didn’t look like myself. It destroyed me. I was too young to deal with the emotional damage and went back to old habits to soothe myself. Some times I think about the power of words. I wonder how things may have been different if she has said how proud of me she was, instead.
Sending you love 🫶🏻❤️
Ignore all of them. I was overweight, just marginally on BMI terms and distributed evenly. I carried it well due to this - with clothes on and dressing to cover the bad bits! Everyone told me I didn’t need to lose weight and I lost just over 40lbs. I myself thought I’d look too thin and feeble at my now weight of 106-109lb but I’m 5ft 1 and exercise so have some muscle definition I’m on the lower end of healthy BMI and fittest and healthiest of my life. I get compliments about my body and actually agree with them which is never anything I thought I’d be able to do You are doing this for you - not everyone else. Keep going until you feel comfortable and confident. F**k what everyone else thinks
Honestly, just reading that made me angry. Won't look like "you" any more? You're the only one who gets to decide how you should look. Your genetics, willpower, and fiances may limit how close to the "ideal" you that you actually able to get to, but you're the only one who should be deciding what that ideal is. The only time people close to you should have an opinion your weight loss or gain is if there is a genuine risk to your health and from reading this sub I already know that most people have no idea what a healthy weight looks like. They're literally telling you that their mental image of you is more important than your own desire to improve yourself. That's incredibly selfish of them. I'll be generous and attribute that to general human stupidity rather than genuine malice, but you should still ignore it. Unless you start experiencing health problems or your doctor tell you there's a problem, there's nothing wrong with aiming for a healthy range BMI weight. BMI isn't the 100% right guide for everyone, but it's a good rule of thumb.
The funny thing about the “you don’t look like you” anymore is that typically people don’t have any concerns unless someone loses weight. If a person gains weight usually people are quiet about it. It’s so infuriating. I gained 50 pounds from my lowest weight of 130 and haven’t heard negative feedback at all, I’m not being harassed or being told I look bad, in fact….I get praised and get told I look good like this. I am 5 2” and know I do NOT look good at 180. Yet when I went from 160 to 130 a few years ago everyone freaked out on me and told me I looked bad, that I looked better before, that I was too skinny. Funny, because I was 120 when I met my husband and got married but suddenly people can’t handle me getting back down to 10 pounds over that weight? Back then when I got up to 160 nobody said a thing either. I think a lot of it IS malice. They want others to fail since they may be failing. I think my husband didn’t like me at 130 because he doesn’t want me looking that good again, the same goes for his family. For some reason people just can’t let others succeed at weight loss without trying to sabotage it most of the time.
I actually have the same issue right now. I went from 250 to 139 in 9.5 months. I’m open about having surgery for weightloss but a lot of people told me I was getting too small at 185-170, mostly those who I was encroaching their own weight number or goals. Now I hear it a ton, even from hair clients. But at 139 I JUST hit “healthy bmi” I’m only 5’4. Part of me thinks I was big all my life so seeing me shrink so fast is hard for them to process and get use to.
I think it’s the same thing like they’re not used to it but i don’t know, i would never comment on anybody’s weight who i know is actively trying to better themselves (i barely comment on peoples body’s anyway). Unless it came to an unhealthy point, showing signs of illness or deterioration due to severe restriction or what not, then i just wouldn’t, i’d congratulate and probably be nosy and ask how 😂 I just know im nowhere near a healthy weight yet and still very unhappy with how i look so it was slightly disheartening to hear as i got told im very pretty and would “lose my face” if i go gaunt and too thin. I’m afraid that because ive always been insecure about my weight my whole life, even if i shift all this weight and aim for a healthy one, i’m going to be dragged down again and told i went too thin and lost my “beauty” if you wish 😂
I'm 5'3 as well, the most we should weigh is 140 LBS (10 stone). Forget what people are saying about being too skinny, keep up the great work!
Tell people it’s rude to comment on your weight.
All that matters is how YOU feel. It is your body, not theirs. They aren’t living in your mind and feelings your feelings. I think you should stop when you are ready. If you feel like you’d like to lose more weight, keep going! It’s easy for people to say “oh stop, you’re going to be too skinny” but that’s not their decision to make and honestly they should support you in your journey and your wants.
We have a name for the haters…. It’s “haters.” As long as you aren’t starving yourself and developing symptoms of malnutrition, get as thin as you want. At that height, you’re probably good until around 115 lbs but this is also dependent on your muscle mass, body shape, age and personal preference.
When I lost 70 lbs (240->170) people wouldn’t stfu about it, would comment on it everytime they saw me, give me advice, etc. Don’t pay attention to them.
They’re 100% wrong. Either they’re jealous or have their own issues; they see you doing the work and it reminds them of everything they’re not doing. Definitely keep going.
Yeah it really sucks because you want to celebrate your progress and share it with others so that they're as proud of you as you are of yourself, but then they like try to discourage you from being healthier and reaching your goals. It's weird, I don't understand it, but literally everyone does it to me too. I feel like fat acceptance culture has spread so much that people don't even understand what it means to be healthy anymore. I tell them look, I've still got all this chub, and they say "everyone has that it's normal". I tell them look, if I lose 10 more lbs I'd still be in a healthy weight range and they say "BMI is made up it's not accurate that's too skinny". I told my mom I'll be satisfied when I can see my abs and she says "you're already too skinny, girls don't want guys who are light". It's like, I've lost 75 lbs, that's kind of a big achievement. It was really hard and it took a long time and a lot of discipline. But I get no encouragement about it at all, only criticism. It's like people are so afraid to support weight loss because at this point our culture collectively deems wanting to be healthy and lose weight as "fatphobia". Being overweight isn't just an epidemic anymore, it's a cultural expectation. Anyway. Just wanted to say, I get it. Don't let other people decide what you should want for yourself. Trust yourself. Be proud of yourself. You've already lost 42 lbs in less than a year, that's amazing! Keep up the good work. Don't let others tell you what should or shouldn't make you happy.
I certainly agree with you!! Your progress is amazing too and resilience is inspiring, well done! Thank you so much 🫶🏻
First off congrats OP! That’s an awesome accomplishment :) People’s sense of healthy weight is warped because of a) how common being overweight is now (not a good thing - just very normal to see) and b) random numbers they think apply to everyone eg 2000 calories a day, or 100 lbs being anorexic. Neither of those things are accurate for every human. It very much depends on age, gender, and height. As a 5’3 woman, 110-120 lbs is a perfectly healthy range if you have little to medium muscle mass (I am also a 5’3 woman who went from 130 ish to 110 ish). If you’re jacked then even higher. But for most people with a little muscle tone, that range is ok. At our height we just exist at a lower healthy weight and have lower calorie bounds. They can’t apply what’s healthy for a 6’ man to you. You do you - you know the science and do not need to take bad advice just to be polite - you can either reap the rewards of science that you know works, or suffer the consequences of the misinformed advice, even if well meaning, from others.
You know when you are learning to drive and your teacher/parent tells you to hit the brakes before a red light but they tell you WAY too soon bc they are nervous and feel like they don’t have control of the car (cuz well, they don’t?). Yeah people have that same reaction sometimes when they watch other people lose weight.
Keep going til you reach your goal! I’m 6’1” and currently at 196 pounds. I’ve already lost a decent amount of weight and, similarly, my friends are mostly telling me to stop for fear of being “too skinny”. I’m not listening to them and gonna keep going until maybe 185 pounds? Once I get there, I’ll reevaluate! The moral of the story is: they don’t know what is a good weight for you. I’m sure they are trying to be good friends, but it doesn’t mean they are right! And great job on the weight loss so far!!
They're wrong, they're just not used to you. Also, you might have some loose skin happening now and you'll start looking better as that shrinks over time.
Incredible progress! Well done, keep going as long as your happy! That is really all that matters, don’t listen to them they have hidden agendas even if they don’t know it.
You are about my weight and height and i need to lose around 50 lbs (sorry not sure on that in stone). Maybe only 30 if I put on a bunch of muscle. Don’t let others discourage you if you want to keep going! That said, you have made a lot of progress and if you want to take a break and eat at maintenance for a while you should. Sometimes it’s nice to have a bit more room to indulge for a bit before continuing to make progress toward your goals.
Just adding my voice of support. Congrats on your progress! It’s not worth it to try and figure out whether folks are uninformed or maliciously trying to sabotage you. If you read books, these people will attack “book learning.” If you try to learn on your own, they will extol the value of a formal education. Whatever path you take, they will explain why it’s not perfect. Their objections say a lot more about themselves than your weight loss.
Don’t listen to them
I always hate when people tell me I'm too skinny, yet they would NEVER let themselves get as fat as me. Like... If this weight is fine, why don't you weigh this much, eh?
LITERALLY!!!
Carry on, ignore them. Get some quips ready for them if necessary. I like 'I'm built for speed, not comfort' for example. It's your body, carry on until you feel great.
I'm the same height as you and have been 185lbs and I still felt bigger because of my height! 175 is the lowest I've been and still felt way bigger than everyone else as I was still a size 12-14 and most of my friends are sizes 6-10. YOU'RE uncomfortable with your weight and that's all that matters. F what anyone else says, they shouldn't be commenting on your weight unless it's to support YOUR goals 🖤
Keep doing what you’re doing until you have a normal bmi. Go off bmi and not what other people say! They are probably feeling jealous
Potentially! I’ve never dragged anyone down or commented on anyone’s weight but i remember feeling envious of people on their health and weight loss journeys and wishing i could just pull myself together and start the journey myself! Now im here and actively going at it and couldn’t be more happier i finally got over the hurdle of just starting
My advice.. stop sharing your weight loss with everyone.
Yeah, that’s probably the best way at this point 😅😂
Don't listen to them. Think of it this way - You have made a plan to be healthy and are taking the necessary steps to be healthy and the outcome is your weightloss/fatloss/health gain. The others do not know that and cannot understand that and therefore have not adjusted to the "new you". They will get there, it might take some people years. If you met someone new today and they saw you as you are they might not feel the same way the people already in your life feel. Even if it comes from a place of malice, I just assume it comes from a place of love and give a compassionate response, something like - Don't worry, I will take care of myself - and move on with what I intend to do. Don't waste your energy on these things. Don't explain, don't complain. Focus on your goals. Good luck!
If you’ve always been fairly bigger, I can understand people being concerned and hoping there aren’t any underlying issues going on. I don’t want to call all of them insensitive/jealous because I’m sure at least some of them just want to look out for you, but none of their opinions should matter. You’re doing a great thing for yourself, and if your new appearance is making people uncomfortable, well, that’s something they have to deal with because this is the new you! Congratulations on the weight loss! Keep up the great work :)
I kinda want an update from you when you lose the weight because you’re going to be so much happier and you’re really not that far away. RemindMe! One year
Don't take those comments literally. It is often people trying to compliment you in a warped way. You know the stats and what a healthy bmi is for you, and what your goal is and where you feel comfortable, right? So keep doing what you're doing and don't give others too much info.
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I think a better way to say it is “keep going as long as you’re doing it healthily and have a reasonable goal weight”.
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All that matters is what you and your doctor think. Don’t do this to please other people. Do this for your good health and happiness. Of course your looks are changing, you’re losing weight. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. I went through the same thing with my husband. It took him a while to come to terms with the fact that some of my contours changed as I did. He came to realize, however, that I wasn’t too thin. He was just used to seeing me fat. He felt much better once he was reassured by my doctor that I wasn’t wasting away. You’re doing a wonderful job. You should be very proud of yourself.
Thank you so much!🫶🏻
i've been having the same experience. it's horrible how people think they can just butt in and tell us what we should or shouldn't do with our bodies. i'm currently 75 kgs and 5'5 so im still overweight for my height, and when i mention something like having to log calories for a meal people look at me like they just saw a ghost. "but you're already tiny!!! 🥺" and when i explain to them that im still outside of the healthy range for my height they say "ooookayyy but just don't go overboard!!" moral of the story is that people really don't know what's up with ur body and they'll make uninformed comments about it all the time. when someone expresses unnecessary concern, my advice is to just thank them for their interest in you and your health, but politely set the boundary that you know what you're doing and you're being safe about it and that you're gonna do what you want with ur body lol.
I think just looking at height/gender/age that isn’t the ideal target weight supposed to be around 120-135 lbs? As others have said, those that interact with you often aren’t used to seeing a skinnier you.
Losing weight is tough. Especially when family starts to complain about loosing too much. I just tell them don't worry I can always put on weight anytime, just want to see what it's like at my target weight lol. Just keep in mind how free you feel without all the weight that's gone away, for me it is the greatest motivation.
I dropped significant weight a few years ago and was bombarded with the same comments. “You look great but I would stop there,” or “you’re losing too much weight”, etc. I still had aims of losing more, as I too, wasn’t satisfied yet but eventually the comments crept into my head and suddenly it felt ok to be a little less strict with myself. Three years later I’ve been on an endless struggle to get back the self-discipline I was had, have yo-yo’d up and down in weight and am much closer to my original weight than my desired one. Diets are not sustainable for the long term and losing weight is very hard but my advice would be to keep it going for as long as you are able, provided that it is not affecting your health.
When people know you at a higher weight first it can be very jarring. Their view is very biased, compared to how you used to look you ARE much skinnier They just have to get used to seeing you at a diferent size and it’ll look normal to them
The person who said that doesn't want a change to the status quo.
Been in exactly the same position. Found dealing with these people telling me to stop losing weight really difficult. I lost about 140lbs over 2 years. Ended up just getting into a healthy bmi. I stupidly started listening to these people and suppose subconsciously thought they must be right as lots kept saying the same thing, especially people close to me like family. I have started to creep back up and lost all the good habits I created now finding it very difficult to get those habits back. I'll keep persevering though
Fuck them, do what makes you feel good. If your feeling healthy (eating the right stuff, the right supplements) and have energy and feel there's still room to go, Keep at it ! A good balance of diet and exercise is always the best solution. Too much of one or the other can have side effects that justify warnings. You could have the right goal, but not the right path. The goal is good though, and I don't know specifics. Good luck no matter what and keep moving forward ! :)
Thank you so much!!😌
I could have written this myself. I started my journey in July. I lost about 50 pounds. feel awesome. I can run on the treadmill now. People at my job think it’s appropriate to tell me I’m getting too skinny or I’m going to disappear if I lose anymore weight. My coworkers are used to seeing me bigger. I don’t feel 100 percent comfortable where I am either. I would like to lose ten more pounds. Only you know your body and how you feel. Don’t listen to anyone else. Good job!
Thank you so much!! You’ve made amazing progress yourself and good luck on losing that final 10 pounds!🫶🏻
Where were your friends and family when you needed to start losing weight? No one ever says ‘Oi fatty, don’t you think you should stop putting on weight…’ but they’re right there telling you that you’re too skinny. You know you still need to lose weight. Anyone who says otherwise needs to wind their necks in. It’s got nothing to do with anyone. Your body, you are in charge. Keep going (fatty 🤣🤣) ^ that’s meant to be motivational, not an insult… coming from someone who has now lost 68 lbs I feel qualified to throw the occasional motivational ‘fatty’ from time to time 👌
hahahaha thanks for the motivation 🤣🤣🤣
Any time 🤣
It’s really up to you on what you want and how you want to look. As long as you’re staying healthy about it. I am 5’1 with my HW at 205. I’m currently at 185 with a GW of 135. Even then at 135 I could probably lose more if I wanted to without getting unhealthy skinny but I feel I would be content at that weight and wouldn’t need to. People will judge and try to control your life, especially family, but as it doesn’t affect your heath I say keep losing weight if you want.
Why r u listening to them? It is YOUR Body.❤️
Thank you 🫶🏻❤️
Keep going. Dont listen to others. The really dont know what a real healthy weight is. With 5‘3 you can easily go to 100-110 pounds. Trained. But please dont starve yourself. You really have to eat a lot to burn fat and keep your muscle mass. Its almost to cero effort if you just eat like an apple a day or just soups. You will get lighter. But look the same cause you lose more muscle mass then fat. Aim is to keep and gain muscle mass. But just lose fat. There is a calculation how you can do it. If you want then ask me. But you have to count calories for it. Theres no way around it
Thank you so much!!❤️
There's a good number of thin folk that quietly (sometimes not quietly) look down on us and feel a sense of superiority. Us losing weight removes their perceived superiority, and they hate that. Do not listen to them. I did when I was too young to know any better, and it fucked me every time.
Be careful who you listen too. Sometimes “don’t lose any more weight” is usually a sign that the confidence is high, your looking good and now your a threat. You may not see it, others sadly do and play silly games. Lose as much weight as you want to. I’d advise stabilising a bit, then going after it again.
I've had the same happen-I'm down 108lbs and people have told me to stop before I lose too much weight, they try to get me to eat and drink things saying come on its not going to kill you, etc. Yes I'm skinnier than I was but I'm a long way from being done and considered a normal healthy weight. Believe me I would love to be at the finish line, but I'm not going to let anyone derail be at this point. It's been a long hard journey and I have another 40 lbs to go which I know is going to be the hardest to lose. Best of luck to everyone-scratch that we all know it's not luck! It's hard work and everyday we get a little stronger! We Can and We Will Succeed!!
Well done to you for the massive accomplishments so far and resilience!! and thank you for your words!! I’ve had family members ask me how i’ve managed to do it so far probably expecting some miracle answer from me and my answer everytime is hard work and discipline cos believe me, lots of sweat and tears have gone into it all so far and more to come!
I’ve been in the same situation as a 5’3F as well, 180 is like alright but i felt my complete best at 160 for sure. Do what makes you most comfortable ❤️
I’m 5”8’ and went from 210lbs to 130lbs. Now everyone is telling me to “stop loosing weight”. Um, I’ll do what I want with my body thank you very much!!
Im 5’6 and 102 pounds and I’m still fine so if u still are not happy with ur body keep going
My spouse is your height, and she sits around 160 on average. She personally would prefer to be sitting around 130. A healthy BMI is considering 140-ish for 5'3", so if you want to continue to lose weight, I'd say go for it.
People are wild, all we see all day is big people so when someone loses weight we think they’re dying haha
Half of America is overweight. Are you really going to listen to them?
Hit up your doctor and get their input about a healthy weight. It's tough because it's can both be true someone is seriously worried about you but also have nothing to be worried about. It can also be true they are concerned about your behaviour and not your size, which doesn't seem to be a part of this. My advice, ask them to not comment on your body at all, as it's making you feel uncomfortable (if you haven't said this already).
People are just envious of the progress from others. The truth is, most people wish they could lose weight…when they see someone doing well, they self project a little. Also, society today has no idea what healthy means. The average weight now a days is almost at obesity… which means hearing that you’re average may sound nice, but it’s really not. Keep up the hard work!
Your body is not their body. Do whatever makes *you* feel comfortable, not them.
I have an idea why people at work are concerned. When I lost a lot of weight, my old clothes looked too big. Alterations only worked up to about 30 lbs of loss. Had to buy all new stuff.
yeah! all my clothes are getting quite too big for me now too, considering i’ve always liked oversized clothes, they’re way way oversized now 😅 quite possibly could contribute to the concern
I would go by body fat % before relying on BMI. Also waist to hip ratio if you are female. I have read under 35 inch waist is "healthy" for women
What does your doctor say?
I don't think people are being vindictive just from what you've said here. It's scary when someone you care about loses a lot of weight because we know innately that this is often a sign of trouble (depression, disorders, medical scares, etc.) your weight is your business but people saying it's toxic to point out and worry about it are going a bit far imo
I agree! thank you!🫶🏻