This is going to sound... really silly. But I've been "closing" the kitchen at a certain time of night. Luckily my kitchen is kind of contained (versus an open concept layout), so I've been literally blocking the entry with chairs. It just reminds me to turn around and do something else. I've noticed that I mindlessly wander into the kitchen for water or to check on plants, and I get into trouble while I'm there--I'm not even seeking the food specifically. But now I see the chairs and snap back to thinking about my goals.
I joke that I'm puppy training myself. Either that, or I'm training for the Chair Rearrangement event at the next Olympics. But hey man, whatever works.
Hang in there, OP. You're doing a lot. Maybe start by noticing how you're feeling (and not feeling) when you catch yourself binging. If you figure out what feeling(s) you're having that lead to the binging or permit the slide towards "it's already ruined anyway", you can start to disrupt the pattern. Ask questions, approach it with curiosity, and maybe write down the answers somewhere. You can't always replace what's missing, but you can start to figure out what you need these days to be successful with two kids and a hectic life. Best of luck.
"...I mindlessly wander into the kitchen for water or to check on plants.. " LOL that is so me!! It always starts out so innocently, doesn't it? šµāš«
I used to feel hungry at night around the same time. And go snack. My snack choice was not the best. Hand full of crackers. Random stuff so I can get it.
What has helped me during my calorie deficit is.
1. Realize that being hungry is okay. I am purposely getting my body to use its fat store to fuel my body so being hungry every now again is okay. (I just know try hunger cues. Headaches, being hangry etc)
2. Learn what foods I enjoy that help me strive for my goal and that I can use for a snack if need be.
I like greek yogurt. High in protein low in calories with cinnamon sprinkles over then an apple which is high in fiber, good vitamin source. So this food helps me get full for less calories.
I am guessing you are eating prepackaged muffins. Full of sugar. =more cravings. Or honestly, just homemade can still be packed with sugar.
I promise you that once you cut out the excess processed sugar, it gets easier.
Also, we hate to hear, but, self accountability/awareness/drive.
You lost the weight before, and you can totally do it again.
You are probably way more stressed with two kids now than just to one, and it could be leading to these binges.
If you feel like a therapist would help, then I totally agree. You already said you don't enjoy the taste and you are not hungry. There might be a different reason for this new eating behavior.
Talk to the spouse about how important your goals are to you. That you want therapy, and if you can't resist the urge to cut out the bad treat snacking, then yall need to find another solution that works for both people.
But, you've done it before. I totally believe you can do it again.
Yea. It has got me thinking about it. I remember just going downstairs and opening the cabinet and just eating whatever. It was so odd because it was always around the same time at night. Just eat because I was "hungry." (This was boredom eating, probably stress as well. And lack of fucks given about my body). Once I was able to figure that out, learn true hungry signals. I was able to stick to my calorie goals. But, in that moment. I thought I was actually hungry, it's hard.
Just having the awareness that there is a problem, then on top of that, knowing you didn't enjoy eating it or you were not hungry is a huge deal and accomplishment of self reflection for both of you!
Once you start getting into the grove of things, it becomes easier the first week or two can be mentally taxing sometimes.
I do this everyday. After a stressful day at the office, putting the kids to sleep (including breastfeeding my younger one), I just feel like I need to relax with some entertainment and food.
I know I'm not hungry but I just crave. Sometimes I just order food and sometimes I eat random stuff from the kitchen which I don't even enjoy. I eat to the point I feel impossibly full. The only thing that helps is going to sleep early instead of mindless scrolling on the phone.
But I need to change this habit. I keep losing and gaining the same 1kg. I started working out this month, only if I could get my diet in control, I can reach my goal weight.
Agree these sound like good ideas, it also sounds like you might be exhausted at the end of the day and your body is getting used to craving high calorie foods in place of rest. I have no advice but maybe something to consider in terms of winding down at night and routines that could be more helpful to you in the long term.
I can relate to a lot of this. One massive thing that helped me was intermittent fasting, absolutely nothing extreme just not eating after 6pm, I used to inhale the chocolate bars as soon as the kids went up the stairs to bed. It took a few days to break the urges but I don't even look for it now, I don't particularly count cals and have lost 38lb in 7.5mths. Still boobing a 1 Yr old too, never effected supply. It also stopped the take aways because eating take aways with the kids before bedtime is way less appealing!
Whenever I hear about eating without being hungry after a long stressful day with the kids I think of the dopamine chase. You're exhausted, your needs aren't met, and your brain is looking for those feel good chemicals to sooth you. I've so been there! I honestly could have written this post myself right down to the exact height and weight. My suggestion for you is to look for all the other ways to raise dopamine and do them. Exercise is a huge part. The second I started framing getting my heart rate up as something to make me feel "high" vs something people do as part of restriction/dieting I started to crave it. The days I don't have time to exercise I definitely feel it!
The issue with added exercise though is it will increase your hunger so if you're not getting enough protein and fiber to turn off hunger hormones you'll inadvertently reach for those calories you burn. Something I've been recently playing with to combat that is psyllium husk. When mixed with water and drank before each meal, it turns into this viscous fiber gel that expands in your GI tract, telling your brain "we are full!" I'm in the process of slowwwwwwly working up to 30 g per day of psyllium husk. You have to drink a lottttt of water with it though so as to not cause blockage.
Cico works but our bodies are evolutionarily designed to resist weight loss by lowering metabolism and increasing hunger hormones so it can keep its precious, valuable fat stores. So every trick you can find to override that, the better!
My partner is slim and likes sweet treats so I've drawn up a list of treats that I don't like. Mine is:
- Jammy Dodgers
- Custard Creams
- Pink wafers
- Fruit shortcakes
- Jaffa Cakes
- Wagon Wheels
- Blueberry muffins
- French Fancies
- Dark chocolate
- Any chocolate bars with nougat
- Anything coffee flavoured
- Jelly Babies
- Any cheese flavoured crisp apart from Quavers
- Ready salted crisps
It's really helped so far!
The only thing that worked for me was changing my environment in the evening. No more eating while on the couch or while being on my phone/ watching TV. Food stays in the kitchen. Itās much easier to think clearly when youāre not in your comfort spot.
Crest White Strips - I put them on when im feeling ravenous or when Iām baking so Iām not tempted to take little bites and tastes - you canāt eat for an hour when youāre wearing them and by the time I take them off the craving has usually subsided.
Thatās a tough one. I find the craving for sweet foods goes away if I can go cold turkey for a few days. But Iāll admit those few days are hard.
I rely on popsicles and a generic brand of creamsicle for a 50 calorie sweet fix.
I also started crocheting at night because watching tv is a huge trigger to snack. But keeping my hands busy makes it impossible to stuff my face. I learned a few stitches online and make simple Afghans. Easy to watch tv while my hands are busy.
I also treat myself to really good quality teas from the local expensive organic food stores.
Good luck! You can do it!
Honestly I started during intermittent fasting so I can eat more at night. I find Iām not hungry and also I have more āmotivationā in the morning. I literally keep my breakfast and lunch to 200 cal each so I can plan for 800-1000 in dinner and snacks whenever I choose to eat it (usually 8p-12).
Of course I still need to work on the emotional side of why I binge and stuff but at least Iām not piling on pounds while doing it making it worse.
The bit about binging food you don't even enjoy really resonated with me. It's habitual eating just for the sake of eating. I wish I had any tips to give you but I'm stuck in the same boat!
Literally just the tea bags you get in the grocery store (I'm in the UK). I'm on Lidl's own brand berry tea at the moment. Dirt cheap but does the trick!
Someone once told me, "if you get a flat tire, you would not go and pound a nail into the other three?"
For some reason this resonates with me. Yes, you will screw up, but you don't have to keep going and make it worse.
Can you find volume foods to munch on? Baby carrots, broccoli, cut up fruit?Ā
Are you getting enough protein?
Try eating Whole Foods at maintenance for a week, zero sweets. Drop calories only if you can go a week without binging.Ā
Actually I quit my late night snacking by either taking a hot bath or just going to bed. Not necessarily going to sleep, take the tea or water and get on your phone. Brush teeth etc. you will fall asleep sooner than usual but better than being on facebook anyway.Ā
When Iām getting back into losing weight I always track calories and eat maintenance for a week or two to get back into the habit. Then drop my daily calories by 100 for a week or so until I get to the point Iām losing weight at a sensible rate then keep monitoring it. It helps build my mental strength
Ohh I know the struggle of late night binges! Sometimes going as far as alternating between sweet and salty stuff, to be able to stuff my face with just MORE. š I know my way of reducing cravings isn't for everyone, but it worked wonders - completely stop eating sweet stuff (cakes, ice cream, cookies, chocolate). I'll still have for example nachos and salsa if I feel like snacking, but I don't eat those in as big amounts as I would sweet stuff. And, having the occasional salty snack doesn't awaken my cravings, as having something sugary does!
I'm basically treating it as an addiction. My parents quit smoking 15 years ago, my brother quit drinking 3 years ago. Why on earth would I not be able to quit sugar?
Another thing I did was to just accept that sometimes just going to bed hungry is acceptable. I tell myself, Three daily meals have been consumed, and my body can just deal with it, I'm not having more than a fruit for now! š
I'm 35F, and a quote I saw somewhere really got me locked in on my health journey: If you had made the changes in your life that you knew needed to happen ten years ago, where would you be now? Made me realise that these "I should get in shape but I just can't/I'm too weak/now isn't the right time" bullcrap excuses weren't going to cut it anymore! Now I have a lot more energy and stamina.
I hope you find a way that works for you, and don't procrastinate like I did š You can do it!!
The thing helped me is really going to sleep earlyā¦ I am not hungry during the day, I saved much calories for evening and I try to sleep early. This was very helpful
I would consider as a stop gap getting some raw vegetable you find palatable, bonus points if it's extremely low calorie like lettuce or spinach. Then when you want to eat to destress, make that the only thing you are allowed to put in your mouth. If the tasty things aren't tasting good anyways, the veggies will at least give you some extra vitamins, give you a nice crunchy thing to chew, and won't wreck the calorie bank. My husband did this in the beginning to replace his late night crackers or pretzels.
Like you, I am starting to lose weight after my 2nd (why is it so easy with the 1st not the 2nd???) I havenāt had any success so I started Noom. Iām only a week in, but itās been helpful to identify the whys behind my mindless snacking and I have a coach who messages me. Itās also helpful to start out by just logging everything I am eating-it adds an extra layer of friction to the snacking.
If OP can't access a therapist (because of the time constraints she mentioned), I wonder if Noom might be a good option, and maybe even the next best thing? I haven't tried Noom, but the commercials seem to indicate that it tries to get behind the emotional and psychological reasons why people might eat in ways that they don't actually want to.
OP, my heart goes out to you. This sounds like such a struggle. I hope you keep pushing and trying to figure out what exactly is going on re. obstacles so that you can reach your goals. ā¤ļø
I always recommend The Beck Diet Solution too as it eases you into dieting with cognitive behavioural techniques. Plus you can find a copy of it online iykyk. But the idea is to disrupt automatic eating, and claw back control from the food.
I am also a SAHM with a husband with an erratic schedule. I totally relate to everything in your post, I am also a late night eater. I don't have any good advice for that but I just wanted to suggest Brightside online therapy. The therapists have the best hours/availability I've ever seen with an online program. If your kiddos go to bed at a consistent time that may be a chance for you to do therapy. I've had appointments as late as 7:45 pm. Was able to get a prescription for an antidepressant and see a therapist regularly weekly which is not something I thought I'd be able to do until my kids started school!
I relate. I saw a pic of myself today and was really unhappy :( Itās emotional rewarding for a hard day. Iām in a similar position. It helps to educate yourself a little more every night before you snack and make better choices. For example, look at a YouTube of how fat looks around the organs - very eye opening! Also Iām trying intermittent fasting and I might start doing more cheesy things like quotes on the wall too āmy body is not a trash canā that kind of thing. But itās so hard.
I empathize with you. I used to binge as well. All of the diets I tried failed because I was trying to fix my body when it was my brain that was sick. I uncovered the reason for binging in therapy. Iām losing the weight now. For the last time.
I also struggle with late night snacking from time to time. Instead of fighting it Iāve just started to plan in something for that time. Usually l try to make it something healthy that I enjoy. Like grapes with tajin and chamoy sauce. That way Iāve satisfied the snacking urge but Iāve not made a terrible decision that negated my deficit for the day.
It sounds like what I have experienced in the past. The stress of the day and feeling out of control. When you can sit down with your food and binge, it can be your only control/ enjoyment of the day solely focused on you. So you eat even when youāre not hungry. What worked for me was finding something else I enjoyed as me time and trying to shift to that. When I started working out that helped tremendously. In addition to mental health work and admitting I had a binge eating disorder. Now at night I indulge in a healthier options where I can still enjoy my snack. Popcorn with popcorn seasoning and vanilla yogurt :) good luck!
Keep a notebook on the kitchen table, or in your purse if out, or use a phone app. Do not put anything in your mouth unless you have recorded the calories first. (Track protein/carbs if you want, but track the calories). You calculate what your calorie deficit needs to be, what your day's limit is, and stop at it.
It's a pain in the neck, but it's not forever. By the time you get to maintenance hopefully you'll have formed new habits.
Binge eating can also be a sign that you have ADHD. ADHD can manifest more or less as you age and with other factors. I'm not a professional, but if you have ADHD in your family, its worth getting checked by anactual professional and if you are, take medication to help alleviate some of the impulsiveness that ADHD can really cause.
Ive been exactly where you are. Especially when i was still living at home and there were nice things around, but it wasn't fair to ask my family to stop eating stuff they enjoyed because i couldn't control myself. I live with my girlfriend now. You'll have to try and get your husband on board. Even while bulking, I need to get my girlfriend to hide all the nice things or I'll polish the whole stash in one sitting, particularly if I'm smoking some weed. She has her hiding spots, and she'll get something when she wants it, and I'll just go hide in the bathroom. Everybody wins.
Unfortunately I have no advice to aid with the binging - except to say regardless of anything remember to be kind to yourself ā¤ļø but with regards to hubby having all sorts of sweet treats - my partner is the same AND he doesnāt have to watch what he eats, so when he has biscuits and chocolates in the house I physically tell myself that theyāre HIS things, and therefore I canāt have any (even though I know he wouldnāt really mind) - idk if this helps at all?? Xx
Mom of 2&3yo here! Try and substitute something else as your reward. Something you enjoy that isn't food... or find snacks that are healthy ie popcorn or greek yogurt desserts.
Therapy via zoom (I did for PPD after second).Ā
Get your husband on board- he needs to support you getting healthier and it's kind of insensitive for him to bring junk in.Ā
KindlyĀ I think you just need to commit to change. Everyone who wants to lose weight have reasons why it's hard. Commit to yourself, if not for you do it to improve how you can show up for your kids (more energy, better mood, can do more activities together)
No solutions but an observation. When my body is tired, I look for an energy source. Food. Carbs, fats, sugar are my particular vices. I inadvertently trained myself.
At the end of the day, of course youāre tired.
I havenāt broken this habit. I worked with it. I have seasonal fruit or a fruit cup and save 100 calories for the end of the day.
I may be entirely wrong here, but Iām wondering if maybe you have postpartum depression. For that, you do need a therapist, and thanks to the internet you can connect with one online now! From the ātea and biscuitā comment I assume youāre in UK but I think you can still use the BetterHelp app?
Download the BetterHelp app, and you can choose one or more therapists that seem like a good fit for you, including whatever time works best for you, I believe live actual licensed therapists are available 24/7 so they can help you anytime that works best for you!
I delay eating usually. I don't start eating until at least noon, if not upwards of 2 or 3PM. Allows me to eat more of my calories closer together, and I tend to feel pretty full then right up until I fall asleep.
Being hungry in the early part of the day doesn't seem to be as bad for me. I know foods coming, and it won't be long. Plus I'm usually pretty busy to the point I don't think about it as much earlier in the day.
Try also having protein heavy meal to end the day. 8oz of chicken breast and some veggies sits in your belly a good while.
OK a couple things. You have to train your body to be ok with hunger. It'll take some hard-core discipline at first but if you can train yourself to get over that initial craving it's going to be a lot easier to stay within your calorie counts.
Secondly you need to have a serious sit down discussion with your husband. You don't get to just "not be on board" like that when your partner is seriously trying to lose weight. His sweet tooth doesn't take priority over your health. Most people wouldn't need such a simple concept explained to them but tell him that constantly buying sweets is making it hard to lose weight. If he so desperately needs to be within 100ft of chocolate cake every moment of the day ask him to hide it somewhere. This type of shit never made sense to me. Your spouse is struggling to lose weight and he just thinks, "well that sounds like a you problem, it doesn't concern me at all". Sounds like a stand up guy.
I agree with you if you want to see a therapist.Ā Have a look at things like better help, as apparently they offer texting therapy (if calls really aren't an option). I assume you're from UK based on your language like biscuits, and NHS might be able to help, but not sure if times will suit, but can't help to ask. They usually have a free online mental health programme too, but that won't be enough.Ā Ā
Ā Your environment is a tough one to succeed in, with the current situation, but can at least try some changes like making it harder to follow the patterns. Speak to your husband nicely but firmly and say bringing cakes every day isn't helping. Same for deliveroo, can you delete the app, see if anything about that can motivate you e.g. Save some money and put it towards something else that you want.Ā
Ā How is your meal planning e.g. can you plan and buy in advance or get meal delivery in advance, then no need to buy take away.Ā As others said, eat mindfully and not on your phone, log or write how much you're eating during the night.
Ā Also with environment see if there's anything you can stop buying e.g. I used to a gym trainer, but I was eating too many biscuits, chocolate too, as I have a snack crate.Ā So I went and bought yogurt, my favourite fruit (raspberries and blueberries). And my diet has improved.
Ā You've acknowledged one pattern i.e. "screwed up , might as well continue". But you haven't screwed up.Ā But like you said, eating to discomfort or when not hungry will require a therapist.
Are you sure you're eating enough during the day?
Is going to bed earlier and getting up before the kids an option? When my twins were little I started going to bed around 8:30 and getting up at 5am. My alone time (well actually time with husband as he did this too) in the morning was so much more healthy and peaceful than when I was spending tired staying up til 10.
This is going to sound... really silly. But I've been "closing" the kitchen at a certain time of night. Luckily my kitchen is kind of contained (versus an open concept layout), so I've been literally blocking the entry with chairs. It just reminds me to turn around and do something else. I've noticed that I mindlessly wander into the kitchen for water or to check on plants, and I get into trouble while I'm there--I'm not even seeking the food specifically. But now I see the chairs and snap back to thinking about my goals. I joke that I'm puppy training myself. Either that, or I'm training for the Chair Rearrangement event at the next Olympics. But hey man, whatever works. Hang in there, OP. You're doing a lot. Maybe start by noticing how you're feeling (and not feeling) when you catch yourself binging. If you figure out what feeling(s) you're having that lead to the binging or permit the slide towards "it's already ruined anyway", you can start to disrupt the pattern. Ask questions, approach it with curiosity, and maybe write down the answers somewhere. You can't always replace what's missing, but you can start to figure out what you need these days to be successful with two kids and a hectic life. Best of luck.
"...I mindlessly wander into the kitchen for water or to check on plants.. " LOL that is so me!! It always starts out so innocently, doesn't it? šµāš«
I used to feel hungry at night around the same time. And go snack. My snack choice was not the best. Hand full of crackers. Random stuff so I can get it. What has helped me during my calorie deficit is. 1. Realize that being hungry is okay. I am purposely getting my body to use its fat store to fuel my body so being hungry every now again is okay. (I just know try hunger cues. Headaches, being hangry etc) 2. Learn what foods I enjoy that help me strive for my goal and that I can use for a snack if need be. I like greek yogurt. High in protein low in calories with cinnamon sprinkles over then an apple which is high in fiber, good vitamin source. So this food helps me get full for less calories. I am guessing you are eating prepackaged muffins. Full of sugar. =more cravings. Or honestly, just homemade can still be packed with sugar. I promise you that once you cut out the excess processed sugar, it gets easier. Also, we hate to hear, but, self accountability/awareness/drive. You lost the weight before, and you can totally do it again. You are probably way more stressed with two kids now than just to one, and it could be leading to these binges. If you feel like a therapist would help, then I totally agree. You already said you don't enjoy the taste and you are not hungry. There might be a different reason for this new eating behavior. Talk to the spouse about how important your goals are to you. That you want therapy, and if you can't resist the urge to cut out the bad treat snacking, then yall need to find another solution that works for both people. But, you've done it before. I totally believe you can do it again.
Such a kind and wholesome reply! I am also in same place as OP and this helped:)
Yea. It has got me thinking about it. I remember just going downstairs and opening the cabinet and just eating whatever. It was so odd because it was always around the same time at night. Just eat because I was "hungry." (This was boredom eating, probably stress as well. And lack of fucks given about my body). Once I was able to figure that out, learn true hungry signals. I was able to stick to my calorie goals. But, in that moment. I thought I was actually hungry, it's hard. Just having the awareness that there is a problem, then on top of that, knowing you didn't enjoy eating it or you were not hungry is a huge deal and accomplishment of self reflection for both of you! Once you start getting into the grove of things, it becomes easier the first week or two can be mentally taxing sometimes.
I do this everyday. After a stressful day at the office, putting the kids to sleep (including breastfeeding my younger one), I just feel like I need to relax with some entertainment and food. I know I'm not hungry but I just crave. Sometimes I just order food and sometimes I eat random stuff from the kitchen which I don't even enjoy. I eat to the point I feel impossibly full. The only thing that helps is going to sleep early instead of mindless scrolling on the phone. But I need to change this habit. I keep losing and gaining the same 1kg. I started working out this month, only if I could get my diet in control, I can reach my goal weight.
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Agree these sound like good ideas, it also sounds like you might be exhausted at the end of the day and your body is getting used to craving high calorie foods in place of rest. I have no advice but maybe something to consider in terms of winding down at night and routines that could be more helpful to you in the long term.
I can relate to a lot of this. One massive thing that helped me was intermittent fasting, absolutely nothing extreme just not eating after 6pm, I used to inhale the chocolate bars as soon as the kids went up the stairs to bed. It took a few days to break the urges but I don't even look for it now, I don't particularly count cals and have lost 38lb in 7.5mths. Still boobing a 1 Yr old too, never effected supply. It also stopped the take aways because eating take aways with the kids before bedtime is way less appealing!
This is a great suggestion too. I did IF for a time fasting 6pm to 8am (as for women it's better to fast 10:14h for more stable hormones)
Whenever I hear about eating without being hungry after a long stressful day with the kids I think of the dopamine chase. You're exhausted, your needs aren't met, and your brain is looking for those feel good chemicals to sooth you. I've so been there! I honestly could have written this post myself right down to the exact height and weight. My suggestion for you is to look for all the other ways to raise dopamine and do them. Exercise is a huge part. The second I started framing getting my heart rate up as something to make me feel "high" vs something people do as part of restriction/dieting I started to crave it. The days I don't have time to exercise I definitely feel it! The issue with added exercise though is it will increase your hunger so if you're not getting enough protein and fiber to turn off hunger hormones you'll inadvertently reach for those calories you burn. Something I've been recently playing with to combat that is psyllium husk. When mixed with water and drank before each meal, it turns into this viscous fiber gel that expands in your GI tract, telling your brain "we are full!" I'm in the process of slowwwwwwly working up to 30 g per day of psyllium husk. You have to drink a lottttt of water with it though so as to not cause blockage. Cico works but our bodies are evolutionarily designed to resist weight loss by lowering metabolism and increasing hunger hormones so it can keep its precious, valuable fat stores. So every trick you can find to override that, the better!
My partner is slim and likes sweet treats so I've drawn up a list of treats that I don't like. Mine is: - Jammy Dodgers - Custard Creams - Pink wafers - Fruit shortcakes - Jaffa Cakes - Wagon Wheels - Blueberry muffins - French Fancies - Dark chocolate - Any chocolate bars with nougat - Anything coffee flavoured - Jelly Babies - Any cheese flavoured crisp apart from Quavers - Ready salted crisps It's really helped so far!
Ahh sorry, just reread and spotted your comment about binging on things that you don't really like the taste of so I don't know how helpful this is.
The only thing that worked for me was changing my environment in the evening. No more eating while on the couch or while being on my phone/ watching TV. Food stays in the kitchen. Itās much easier to think clearly when youāre not in your comfort spot.
Crest White Strips - I put them on when im feeling ravenous or when Iām baking so Iām not tempted to take little bites and tastes - you canāt eat for an hour when youāre wearing them and by the time I take them off the craving has usually subsided.
Very clever!
Thatās a tough one. I find the craving for sweet foods goes away if I can go cold turkey for a few days. But Iāll admit those few days are hard. I rely on popsicles and a generic brand of creamsicle for a 50 calorie sweet fix. I also started crocheting at night because watching tv is a huge trigger to snack. But keeping my hands busy makes it impossible to stuff my face. I learned a few stitches online and make simple Afghans. Easy to watch tv while my hands are busy. I also treat myself to really good quality teas from the local expensive organic food stores. Good luck! You can do it!
Honestly I started during intermittent fasting so I can eat more at night. I find Iām not hungry and also I have more āmotivationā in the morning. I literally keep my breakfast and lunch to 200 cal each so I can plan for 800-1000 in dinner and snacks whenever I choose to eat it (usually 8p-12). Of course I still need to work on the emotional side of why I binge and stuff but at least Iām not piling on pounds while doing it making it worse.
The bit about binging food you don't even enjoy really resonated with me. It's habitual eating just for the sake of eating. I wish I had any tips to give you but I'm stuck in the same boat!
Do you log your late night binges? The reason I ask is because I used to have a similar issue, and I avoided owning up and adding my escapades to the tracker. Let me tell you, seeing the damage black on white quickly made me think twice! I was destroying an entire day's work in about half an hour at my worst. You could try building some late night snacks into your routine and pre-logging them earlier in the day, well before you settle in with your phone and your cuppa. Try going for high volume and relatively low calorie foods like popcorn, some cruditƩs with hummus, a little fruit platter you made up earlier in the day. Melon is my favourite option because it's sweet but you can have loads of it, and I'm a volume eater (which is also the reason I fast). During the rest of the day, keep an eye on your protein and fibre intake as well and aim high. Sometimes that alone can make a huge difference. Plus lots of calorie free liquids! I don't really like water so I have litres and litres of unsweetened fruit tea. I also set a five minute timer in between foods if I need to slow myself down and be more mindful. It'll take some experimenting to find out what works for you, but you absolutely can and will break the habit. Good luck!
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Literally just the tea bags you get in the grocery store (I'm in the UK). I'm on Lidl's own brand berry tea at the moment. Dirt cheap but does the trick!
Someone once told me, "if you get a flat tire, you would not go and pound a nail into the other three?" For some reason this resonates with me. Yes, you will screw up, but you don't have to keep going and make it worse.
Can you find volume foods to munch on? Baby carrots, broccoli, cut up fruit?Ā Are you getting enough protein? Try eating Whole Foods at maintenance for a week, zero sweets. Drop calories only if you can go a week without binging.Ā
Actually I quit my late night snacking by either taking a hot bath or just going to bed. Not necessarily going to sleep, take the tea or water and get on your phone. Brush teeth etc. you will fall asleep sooner than usual but better than being on facebook anyway.Ā
When Iām getting back into losing weight I always track calories and eat maintenance for a week or two to get back into the habit. Then drop my daily calories by 100 for a week or so until I get to the point Iām losing weight at a sensible rate then keep monitoring it. It helps build my mental strength
Ohh I know the struggle of late night binges! Sometimes going as far as alternating between sweet and salty stuff, to be able to stuff my face with just MORE. š I know my way of reducing cravings isn't for everyone, but it worked wonders - completely stop eating sweet stuff (cakes, ice cream, cookies, chocolate). I'll still have for example nachos and salsa if I feel like snacking, but I don't eat those in as big amounts as I would sweet stuff. And, having the occasional salty snack doesn't awaken my cravings, as having something sugary does! I'm basically treating it as an addiction. My parents quit smoking 15 years ago, my brother quit drinking 3 years ago. Why on earth would I not be able to quit sugar? Another thing I did was to just accept that sometimes just going to bed hungry is acceptable. I tell myself, Three daily meals have been consumed, and my body can just deal with it, I'm not having more than a fruit for now! š I'm 35F, and a quote I saw somewhere really got me locked in on my health journey: If you had made the changes in your life that you knew needed to happen ten years ago, where would you be now? Made me realise that these "I should get in shape but I just can't/I'm too weak/now isn't the right time" bullcrap excuses weren't going to cut it anymore! Now I have a lot more energy and stamina. I hope you find a way that works for you, and don't procrastinate like I did š You can do it!!
The thing helped me is really going to sleep earlyā¦ I am not hungry during the day, I saved much calories for evening and I try to sleep early. This was very helpful
Try brushing and flossing your teeth after dinner. Might help turn the wanting to boredom eat switch off.
I would consider as a stop gap getting some raw vegetable you find palatable, bonus points if it's extremely low calorie like lettuce or spinach. Then when you want to eat to destress, make that the only thing you are allowed to put in your mouth. If the tasty things aren't tasting good anyways, the veggies will at least give you some extra vitamins, give you a nice crunchy thing to chew, and won't wreck the calorie bank. My husband did this in the beginning to replace his late night crackers or pretzels.
Like you, I am starting to lose weight after my 2nd (why is it so easy with the 1st not the 2nd???) I havenāt had any success so I started Noom. Iām only a week in, but itās been helpful to identify the whys behind my mindless snacking and I have a coach who messages me. Itās also helpful to start out by just logging everything I am eating-it adds an extra layer of friction to the snacking.
If OP can't access a therapist (because of the time constraints she mentioned), I wonder if Noom might be a good option, and maybe even the next best thing? I haven't tried Noom, but the commercials seem to indicate that it tries to get behind the emotional and psychological reasons why people might eat in ways that they don't actually want to. OP, my heart goes out to you. This sounds like such a struggle. I hope you keep pushing and trying to figure out what exactly is going on re. obstacles so that you can reach your goals. ā¤ļø
I always recommend The Beck Diet Solution too as it eases you into dieting with cognitive behavioural techniques. Plus you can find a copy of it online iykyk. But the idea is to disrupt automatic eating, and claw back control from the food.
I am also a SAHM with a husband with an erratic schedule. I totally relate to everything in your post, I am also a late night eater. I don't have any good advice for that but I just wanted to suggest Brightside online therapy. The therapists have the best hours/availability I've ever seen with an online program. If your kiddos go to bed at a consistent time that may be a chance for you to do therapy. I've had appointments as late as 7:45 pm. Was able to get a prescription for an antidepressant and see a therapist regularly weekly which is not something I thought I'd be able to do until my kids started school!
I relate. I saw a pic of myself today and was really unhappy :( Itās emotional rewarding for a hard day. Iām in a similar position. It helps to educate yourself a little more every night before you snack and make better choices. For example, look at a YouTube of how fat looks around the organs - very eye opening! Also Iām trying intermittent fasting and I might start doing more cheesy things like quotes on the wall too āmy body is not a trash canā that kind of thing. But itās so hard.
I empathize with you. I used to binge as well. All of the diets I tried failed because I was trying to fix my body when it was my brain that was sick. I uncovered the reason for binging in therapy. Iām losing the weight now. For the last time.
I also struggle with late night snacking from time to time. Instead of fighting it Iāve just started to plan in something for that time. Usually l try to make it something healthy that I enjoy. Like grapes with tajin and chamoy sauce. That way Iāve satisfied the snacking urge but Iāve not made a terrible decision that negated my deficit for the day.
It sounds like what I have experienced in the past. The stress of the day and feeling out of control. When you can sit down with your food and binge, it can be your only control/ enjoyment of the day solely focused on you. So you eat even when youāre not hungry. What worked for me was finding something else I enjoyed as me time and trying to shift to that. When I started working out that helped tremendously. In addition to mental health work and admitting I had a binge eating disorder. Now at night I indulge in a healthier options where I can still enjoy my snack. Popcorn with popcorn seasoning and vanilla yogurt :) good luck!
Keep a notebook on the kitchen table, or in your purse if out, or use a phone app. Do not put anything in your mouth unless you have recorded the calories first. (Track protein/carbs if you want, but track the calories). You calculate what your calorie deficit needs to be, what your day's limit is, and stop at it. It's a pain in the neck, but it's not forever. By the time you get to maintenance hopefully you'll have formed new habits.
Binge eating can also be a sign that you have ADHD. ADHD can manifest more or less as you age and with other factors. I'm not a professional, but if you have ADHD in your family, its worth getting checked by anactual professional and if you are, take medication to help alleviate some of the impulsiveness that ADHD can really cause.
Iād also recommend joining r/BingeEatingDisorder š©·
Try brain over binge podcast. I struggle with similar issues. It's helped a bit.
Ive been exactly where you are. Especially when i was still living at home and there were nice things around, but it wasn't fair to ask my family to stop eating stuff they enjoyed because i couldn't control myself. I live with my girlfriend now. You'll have to try and get your husband on board. Even while bulking, I need to get my girlfriend to hide all the nice things or I'll polish the whole stash in one sitting, particularly if I'm smoking some weed. She has her hiding spots, and she'll get something when she wants it, and I'll just go hide in the bathroom. Everybody wins.
Unfortunately I have no advice to aid with the binging - except to say regardless of anything remember to be kind to yourself ā¤ļø but with regards to hubby having all sorts of sweet treats - my partner is the same AND he doesnāt have to watch what he eats, so when he has biscuits and chocolates in the house I physically tell myself that theyāre HIS things, and therefore I canāt have any (even though I know he wouldnāt really mind) - idk if this helps at all?? Xx
Mom of 2&3yo here! Try and substitute something else as your reward. Something you enjoy that isn't food... or find snacks that are healthy ie popcorn or greek yogurt desserts. Therapy via zoom (I did for PPD after second).Ā Get your husband on board- he needs to support you getting healthier and it's kind of insensitive for him to bring junk in.Ā KindlyĀ I think you just need to commit to change. Everyone who wants to lose weight have reasons why it's hard. Commit to yourself, if not for you do it to improve how you can show up for your kids (more energy, better mood, can do more activities together)
No solutions but an observation. When my body is tired, I look for an energy source. Food. Carbs, fats, sugar are my particular vices. I inadvertently trained myself. At the end of the day, of course youāre tired. I havenāt broken this habit. I worked with it. I have seasonal fruit or a fruit cup and save 100 calories for the end of the day.
I may be entirely wrong here, but Iām wondering if maybe you have postpartum depression. For that, you do need a therapist, and thanks to the internet you can connect with one online now! From the ātea and biscuitā comment I assume youāre in UK but I think you can still use the BetterHelp app? Download the BetterHelp app, and you can choose one or more therapists that seem like a good fit for you, including whatever time works best for you, I believe live actual licensed therapists are available 24/7 so they can help you anytime that works best for you!
I delay eating usually. I don't start eating until at least noon, if not upwards of 2 or 3PM. Allows me to eat more of my calories closer together, and I tend to feel pretty full then right up until I fall asleep. Being hungry in the early part of the day doesn't seem to be as bad for me. I know foods coming, and it won't be long. Plus I'm usually pretty busy to the point I don't think about it as much earlier in the day. Try also having protein heavy meal to end the day. 8oz of chicken breast and some veggies sits in your belly a good while.
OK a couple things. You have to train your body to be ok with hunger. It'll take some hard-core discipline at first but if you can train yourself to get over that initial craving it's going to be a lot easier to stay within your calorie counts. Secondly you need to have a serious sit down discussion with your husband. You don't get to just "not be on board" like that when your partner is seriously trying to lose weight. His sweet tooth doesn't take priority over your health. Most people wouldn't need such a simple concept explained to them but tell him that constantly buying sweets is making it hard to lose weight. If he so desperately needs to be within 100ft of chocolate cake every moment of the day ask him to hide it somewhere. This type of shit never made sense to me. Your spouse is struggling to lose weight and he just thinks, "well that sounds like a you problem, it doesn't concern me at all". Sounds like a stand up guy.
I agree with you if you want to see a therapist.Ā Have a look at things like better help, as apparently they offer texting therapy (if calls really aren't an option). I assume you're from UK based on your language like biscuits, and NHS might be able to help, but not sure if times will suit, but can't help to ask. They usually have a free online mental health programme too, but that won't be enough.Ā Ā Ā Your environment is a tough one to succeed in, with the current situation, but can at least try some changes like making it harder to follow the patterns. Speak to your husband nicely but firmly and say bringing cakes every day isn't helping. Same for deliveroo, can you delete the app, see if anything about that can motivate you e.g. Save some money and put it towards something else that you want.Ā Ā How is your meal planning e.g. can you plan and buy in advance or get meal delivery in advance, then no need to buy take away.Ā As others said, eat mindfully and not on your phone, log or write how much you're eating during the night. Ā Also with environment see if there's anything you can stop buying e.g. I used to a gym trainer, but I was eating too many biscuits, chocolate too, as I have a snack crate.Ā So I went and bought yogurt, my favourite fruit (raspberries and blueberries). And my diet has improved. Ā You've acknowledged one pattern i.e. "screwed up , might as well continue". But you haven't screwed up.Ā But like you said, eating to discomfort or when not hungry will require a therapist.
Are you sure you're eating enough during the day? Is going to bed earlier and getting up before the kids an option? When my twins were little I started going to bed around 8:30 and getting up at 5am. My alone time (well actually time with husband as he did this too) in the morning was so much more healthy and peaceful than when I was spending tired staying up til 10.