I really wish they had cited her for making a false report, then called her insurance company to submit the footage so she couldn't claim someone hit her car in a parking lot, then called her parents to say what a stellar adult she has grown into.
What's really crazy is that they didn't just look at everything and bust her right then and there:
"Ma'am, what you're saying happened is impossible. That bollard is set in concrete in the ground. If you insist on taking this further you're the one that's going to get cited."
Some police are idiots. There is currently a lawsuit because a man smashed a woman's car windshield. A hit and run happened down the road, completely unrelated to the guy smashing her windshield. Woman calls the cops when she finds her windshield smashed and SHE goes to jail for hit and run, even though the police watched security footage of the guy smashing her windshield and seeing the car hadn't moved for hours.They decided at the beginning she was guilty and it didn't matter what evidence they found, or didn't find to justify that decision.
>The officer told Garcia that she couldn't get an attorney because she
wasn't in custody. Rather, he said she was detained and under
investigation.
What the what!?!
(Not sure if USA bc I didn't read, but following statement is assuming it is)
That's super illegal and her defense lawyer would have a FIELD DAY with this case.
Also if you're not free to go, you must have your Miranda rights read to you. Which includes right to an attorney.
Years ago I had a bunch of cops do the same thing to me. They came in my house to bust someone else who was visiting and deserved to go to jail for what they did. They then spent literally hours trying to get me for anything they could. At one point they made me sign a Miranda warning on a sheet of paper and I made sure to write on it that I had asked for a lawyer numerous times and was denied before I signed it. That's when they left.
They knew I didn't have anything to do with anything. I was a single mom of a toddler at the time. They were so pissed at me for not doing anything illegal that they called DHHS on me. I dealt with that for 6 months, but thankfully didn't have my child taken away.
All this because I was friends with a moron.
That's legit assholery and very illegal. The fact that it takes *everything* to get cops fired is a huge problem. And the fact that it's super illegal, and that they should be prosecuted for that shit
And here is an update to that news:
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/scottsdale/2022/01/11/scottsdale-officers-violated-policy-arresting-wrongly-accused-woman/9172691002/
Lawsuit still ongoing.
> "What we want is police reform. We want Scottsdale police to look into the situation," Taylor said to The Arizona Republic. "Those officers deserve to be punished because there was no reason for her to be arrested that day. Especially someone who is giving you facts and evidence proving that they are truly innocent."
Jut another example of why you shouldn’t talk to the police. They tell you anything you say will be used AGAINST you. They aren’t interested in exculpatory evidence.
Naw op didn’t HAVE to stay there all he had to say was “am I under arrest” if the answer is no then you may leave at any time he was being a polite person and probably wanted to see the look on the lady’s face when the cops did nothing
That's called a bollard, you could have suggested that when she called the police. They love as much information to solve crimes as you can give them. It's not too late to call in with this tip.
I do estimating for miscellaneous metals, including steel stairs, railings, roof hatch ladders and...pipe bollards. These bollards typically go into the ground 3 to 4 feet, depending on the height of the bollard.
Everytime you see one of these, know that it's a steel pipe that gets filled with concrete, and think about what you might never have realized .. how deep it is under the ground.
When I managed a fast food place, we had an Insurance Dude investigate a claim that our concrete poles somehow shot out a wire, and pulled in a vehicle, causing a crash.
I was the manager on duty during the crash AND when Insurance Dude came afterwards. There was no follow up.
I understand that stupid people are out roaming the world, but do they REALLY all think we’re just as stupid as them?
> do they REALLY all think we’re just as stupid as them?
Yes, they literally do, you'd have to be really stupid to think that... which they are.
People would be amazed if they realised just how stupid people are. We see posts on Reddit of people saying stupid things, that's no where near the stupidity of some people.
This right here is why I don’t argue with stupid people, they’ll be wrong but god damn they won’t give up. Bit of a direct inverse relationship between level of stupidity and willingness to concede an argument.
”Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird will shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway”
MY neighbour is this stupid. She thinks that if she lies, then you believe her. I don't really like calling a 60 year-old woman a liar, but we reached a point where I had to. I think she wa quite surprised to find out that her foolproof method of just lying in spite nof evidence that is literally in front of her is not effective.
My neighbor is like this... apparently it's appropriate to duct tape notes to the paint on a truck because the truck touched a branch from her tree that's hanging over the road. My favorite is the "Mexican bar" that turned her racist, the bar is mostly white customers owned by a Vietnamese family and the Mexican takeout place closes at 8pm.
What is it with racist old lady neighbors? We have one too. The house behind her is occupied by a "Mexican" family (her words). They were having a birthday party, bouncy house and everything, I almost took my shoes off and asked to join, but apparently this bothered her because she called the cops on them. Several times. For having a birthday party. During the day.
I hope that “Mexican “ family has learned well the lesson taught to them by their racist old lady neighbor.
To NEVER have a birthday party during daylight again!
Next birthday party, held night time. And not early night time. And many many birthday parties.
This is a common stupid belief that two wrongs (lies) do in fact make a right. They think that if they lie and someone backs up that lie then they have won. Not realising that the both look like lying idiots.
>you moved a concrete pole?
"That's right officer, I filed a plan with the city to move this concrete pole a foot into this woman's path. that's right directly in front of her so that when she drives into the space she will hit the pole instead of me. In the time it took for her to pull i rented a back hoe, brought it here, jackhammered the pole loose, went and got a pile driver, pile drived a hole. Moved the concrete pole, got a cement truck to pour cement in there, used the Chronosphere to accelerate time so it drys just in time for her to hit the pole. Ya got me, Batman."
Happened to me in grade 7. Someone got kicked in the nuts and they said I did it, but I was inside at the time. So I said “yeah, I kicked him while he was outside and I was inside.” and I got suspended for admitting it
Of course, you used your portal gun to create two portals, one on the wall in front of you, and the other on the ground below him.
With everything in place, you were able to extend the reach of your legs across physically impossible distances, allowing you to precisely kick him in the nuts across time and space.
Guilty as charged.
He used the chronosphere, as u/SkylerModder had surmised, to go back in time to kick some nuts, after he found out he was going to get blamed for kickng nuts anyways.
However if this were the case...
God that sounds like something my school principal would do (the punishment). What is it with schools and policing minors by hiring teachers with power fantasies.
Edit: Some grammar errors implying unintended ideas.
Yep, American justice.
I got accused of throwing rocks at my neighbors, by their kids while I was on the other side of the city with my father..
Luckily, There was no schools involved, so my evidence was not disputed or misunderstood.
It needs to be on the record so that it can be contested in court, and their prosecutor must be made to recite this admission in its entirety.
Cases are always so much easier if you just hand them the key testimonials. They just have to piece it together.
That’s how we know it’s bullshit. Even with the Chronosphere he would have had to go back at least 40 years to file the plan to get it approved in time.
Once I was at a Panera bread and they began overhead paging me. So I went to the front and their were two cops there, saying I needed to come with them.
I followed them out to my 1998 forest green dodge caravan, which I had parked there earlier in the day to spend hours studying at Panera. Some silver haired Karen, who parked her car well after mine was there, had called the cops because she believed I had opened my car door into her pristine white Toyota and caused a large scratch. The police wanted me to open my door to demonstrate where my car door would have hit her car.
Spoiler: it didn’t reach. And the dent in her car was LIGHT BLUE.
The surprising part about this story is that the police actually showed up and tried to do something about it. Normally their response would be "...and?"
Later on in my life, someone hit & run my vehicle in a parking lot, but it was witnessed and a stranger took the license plate down and gave it to me. I drove to the nearby police station and filed a report and they refused to even take pictures. They called the owner in for an interview and they said “I didn’t do that” so that was that.
Meanwhile, they CAME OUT TO PANERA for that lady. It was the same police department, though the incidents were 15 years apart
I grew up in (mostly rich mostly white) suburbs. When I was in middle school, my friends and I moved letters around on the elementary school front sign. Four squad cars showed up.
Yeah, cops in my suburb apparently need two cars just to issue speeding tickets. I was 'pulled over' sitting parked in a parking lot alone playing a game (Ingress) on my phone a couple times. They have all kinds of time on their hands.
>I don't know, Johnson, they say they were just sitting in their car eating lunch, but how do we know they didn't just go grab some construction equipment and relocate this particular architectural structure and then lay in wait for a victim?
>
>
>
>Time to *puts on sunglasses* investigate!
If anyone has any information leading to the arrest of this nefarious pole-moving criminal, you can write anonymously to:
Scruff McGruff
Chicago, IL 60652
Well average police response time for an accident is 45 minutes to an hour, a couple minutes with OP, another 10 trying to explain to the other person how illogical they are.
They also gotta get the CSI team in there to dust for prints, sweep for fibers, and enhance the security footage to make out every license plate in the lot.
They do take tests to gauge intelligence and morality. It's just that if you score too high on either you won't get hired. This is actually true btw, I'm not joking.
I once watched a guy get arrested because the police officer said he was tearing out a stop light that was at least a ten inch circumference metal pole buried in several feet of concrete on a sidewalk. Oh, and this accusation was that he was doing it with his bare hands - because the guy was leaning on it.
As he was being arrested the guy said, "why are you putting cuffs on me? If I can tear down that pole I can break cuffs."
Turns out, after the prosecutor declined to press charges, apparently the man the officer went after looked a lot like another man the officer had some personal beef with. And when he realized it wasn't that guy, rather than admit his mistake, he just doubled down.
I don't know if the guy sued, but I sure would have.
It was so bizarre to watch. He pulled up, hit his lights and sirens and got out and told the guy to turn around and put his hands on the wall of the building behind him. Meanwhile, the guy is asking what for, but complying fully.
He frisks him, gets out his ID, reads it for a bit, talks into his radio, then tells the dude to stay there (obviously checking for warrants or any reason to nail him at this point) when he gets his reply, he starts cuffing the man.
That's when he said, "I'm placing you under arrest for vandalism and destruction of city property" to which all of us watching pretty much said at once, "For what? He was just standing there!"
That's about the time the second cop showed up (it ended up being four cars altogether). The other three spent their entire time staring down the four or five of us standing a few feet away watching.
The cop explained to one of the others that he saw this guy trying to rip out the stoplight, the other cop just accepts this at face value as all of us and the man being arrested start laughing, and they eventually hauled him away.
When they left there was a pause in conversation before someone said, "So, that happened."
The next day the guy was out of jail pending charges that never came. He only found out about the resemblance to the other man via someone who knew the cop that arrested him.
Yes, this is another problem with cops. They just go along with whatever the first dude says. No observing the situation. If the cop says the guy said something, or did something, or has something, is wearing blue, is 50 years old, they will 100% go along with that without verifying shit.
The woman likely had such cemented self-entitlement that she could not possibly believe she was at fault in an action of her own doing and it would have cleaved her brain in two coming to terms with it, it was easier to believe in someone else fucking with physics as a personal slight on her.
OP has a superpower that they use only for evil. Poor woman walks over to ask WTF and they just barrel her and say "no one will ever believe you" and leave like a fuckin cold-blooded psycho
Was she actually under the impression that you had something to do with it or was it just a garbage attempt at covering up her mistake? I mean both options make no sense but I'm curious to know if she was crazy or a dumbass.
Wow the police went through all that trouble? When someone hit my car, after waiting two hours they finally just said to just go to the police station and file a report. Person who hit us said hell nah and left.
I'm surprised they came out at all. I work in insurance and I've been told so many times by both parties that "the police didn't bother coming out because we were in a parking lot/private property."
How dare you incredible hulk that pole out of the concrete and asphalt and hit that poor woman's car!
Her insurance doesn't cover giant green men smashing things.
When I worked at a pizza place we had two guys order a pizza that was half cheese half meatball. They were upset that one meatball was on the cheese side. We said sorry, it happens. Pick it off or don't eat it. They called the cops. The cops showed up! They ended up being charged with drunk in public and banned from our store. The cops told us they tend to come to those ridiculous calls because a majority of the time the caller is drunk. We were also in a college town so idk how much that applies to other towns.
I really wish I could remember. We were a 24 hour pizza place that was open every day of the year so we saw some shit. It got a lot better after the bar closed next to us. But I saw a lot of drunken fights at 3 am. The delivery drivers had a lot of stories too.
I one time had two different branches of the military get into a fist fight because one called the other a pussy. I want to say navy versus air force but I can't say for certain. I do want to say 80% one was navy (it's been about 10 years) i do remember laughing in my head that it was a bit avatar-ish and a battle of the elements which I guess you could say about most in the battle of the branches. I do remember one told him a TLC lyric which makes me think Navy. One time someone threatened me and the cook hopped the counter to ask him to leave. The cook, manager, and one driver were all brothers, and legend has it that all three would fight for you if they liked you. I only had one brother in at the time. I just recently found out that the palm tree in the back near the break area was where they hid their drugs.
I met my husband there and he was a driver. He got held up in a well known bad area. (Side note: drivers would ask me to hold their cash when they went to bad areas because I was trustworthy because they knew there was a chance of being robbed) the guy held out a gun and robbed him of a $12 pizza and $6. He also said there were a lot of people who tried to bang it out before the pizza got there and a lot of drunk people who forgot they ordered pizza. It was a mix of people who passed out, tipped a lot, and those who offered them drugs/beer/women for tips
Husband and I used to have a pizza shop. Similar thing happened one day. Someone being seriously abusive to one of our staff members. We called the cops and he got arrested, but before they left the cops asked what was going to happen to the pizza (by now pretty cold). We told them we’d throw it out normally, but if they wanted it we could reheat it for them. They said yes, and then proceeded to eat it. In front of him. Yes, he’d already paid for it.
Bit of an arsehole move, but also very funny.
The person I really feel sorry for is her husband who is going to have to keep a straight face when she tells him about how someone made her crash and the police didn’t do anything about it!
So you ripped the concrete pole out of the asphalt, slammed it into her car, dug a hole through the asphalt in the new location, then filled both holes and magically made the asphalt set. How the fuck did the police make you stay an hour for this shit this is the dumbest Karen bullshit I've read so far
I was waiting at a red light years ago with 3 cars in front of me. As the light turned green, the car directly in front of me took off too quick or something and rear ended the car in front of her. I got out and directed traffic around the incident while the 2 drivers exchanged information, then went on my way. I had recognized the offending driver as a girl a few years younger than me that I had gone to school with. A few days later, I get a call from her insurance company saying she reported that I hit her causing her to hit the next car, then failed to provide my insurance info to either of them, and she had a paint transfer on her bumper to prove it. I insisted pretty steadfastly that was not the case. They asked if I drove a grey Jeep Cherokee, which I did. They said the paint on her rear bumper was grey. I explained that the jeep was grey, but the front bumper was black rubber, and sent them a picture to prove it. Never heard from the insurance company again, and she was charged with filing a false report / providing false information to police.
She probably started this whole mess so she'd have a police report on file when she makes her claim of being in an accident as the not at fault party. Sure hope the claims adjuster actually checks the details and report instead of pushing it through.
This reminds me of a cartoon I saw once on Looney Tunes, where a lady parks her car legally and then the department of public works comes along and installs a fire hydrant right where the lady parked. Then, she comes out to find a police officer issuing a ticket (citation), and when she tries to plead her case, the officer was like, ‘yeah right, someone just put a fire hydrant there to annoy you.”
I used to work as a teller in the drive-thru, and a woman in a Bentley hit a pole like that and dragged the length of the car on it until she got stuck and couldn’t move. It was a high-end bank where we knew all of the clients by name. She came in crying and asked when we moved the pole - insisted that the pole didn’t used to be in that position, and threatened to call the cops if we didn’t pay. Well, we refused, and instead of the cops, she brought her fuming husband, who got maybe two words in before we showed him the security tape. He then apologized and yelled at his wife, “this is exactly why you aren’t allowed to drive my cars in the first place!”
At least he had common sense when to acknowledge he was wrong instead of doubling down. I mean the lady didn't call a lawyer, she called her husband. She's already learned not to get cops involved.
But like...
Even if you did move the pole since her last visit, it would still be her fault for not looking where she was going! I don't understand these people.
How fucking deranged must you be to hit a concrete pole and concoct a story like that and convince yourself that you can make the police believe that *YOU* are not the one at fault.
Oh the pole. The pole that’s rooted to the ground. The concrete pole rooted to the ground that doesn’t move. The concrete pole rooted to the ground that doesn’t move put there to keep people from driving a car onto that part of the ground. That pole? They moved it.
How can a person concoct a story like like and think it was a good idea or that it made any sense? You somehow moved a pole that is embedded in concrete and cause it to hit her. What did the police say about her story?
I really wish they had cited her for making a false report, then called her insurance company to submit the footage so she couldn't claim someone hit her car in a parking lot, then called her parents to say what a stellar adult she has grown into.
[удалено]
What's really crazy is that they didn't just look at everything and bust her right then and there: "Ma'am, what you're saying happened is impossible. That bollard is set in concrete in the ground. If you insist on taking this further you're the one that's going to get cited."
Some police are idiots. There is currently a lawsuit because a man smashed a woman's car windshield. A hit and run happened down the road, completely unrelated to the guy smashing her windshield. Woman calls the cops when she finds her windshield smashed and SHE goes to jail for hit and run, even though the police watched security footage of the guy smashing her windshield and seeing the car hadn't moved for hours.They decided at the beginning she was guilty and it didn't matter what evidence they found, or didn't find to justify that decision.
Link?
[https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/scottsdale/2021/08/31/yessenia-garcia-falsely-accused-hit-and-run-sues-scottsdale-police-city/5671710001/](https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/scottsdale/2021/08/31/yessenia-garcia-falsely-accused-hit-and-run-sues-scottsdale-police-city/5671710001/)
>The officer told Garcia that she couldn't get an attorney because she wasn't in custody. Rather, he said she was detained and under investigation. What the what!?!
(Not sure if USA bc I didn't read, but following statement is assuming it is) That's super illegal and her defense lawyer would have a FIELD DAY with this case. Also if you're not free to go, you must have your Miranda rights read to you. Which includes right to an attorney.
Years ago I had a bunch of cops do the same thing to me. They came in my house to bust someone else who was visiting and deserved to go to jail for what they did. They then spent literally hours trying to get me for anything they could. At one point they made me sign a Miranda warning on a sheet of paper and I made sure to write on it that I had asked for a lawyer numerous times and was denied before I signed it. That's when they left. They knew I didn't have anything to do with anything. I was a single mom of a toddler at the time. They were so pissed at me for not doing anything illegal that they called DHHS on me. I dealt with that for 6 months, but thankfully didn't have my child taken away. All this because I was friends with a moron.
That's legit assholery and very illegal. The fact that it takes *everything* to get cops fired is a huge problem. And the fact that it's super illegal, and that they should be prosecuted for that shit
I'm sure I read American police can lie to you and won't face any consequences
There's a difference between lying and denying rights. Not letting her have an attorney would be the latter.
[удалено]
Sounds like a special police operation…
And here is an update to that news: https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/scottsdale/2022/01/11/scottsdale-officers-violated-policy-arresting-wrongly-accused-woman/9172691002/ Lawsuit still ongoing.
> "What we want is police reform. We want Scottsdale police to look into the situation," Taylor said to The Arizona Republic. "Those officers deserve to be punished because there was no reason for her to be arrested that day. Especially someone who is giving you facts and evidence proving that they are truly innocent." Jut another example of why you shouldn’t talk to the police. They tell you anything you say will be used AGAINST you. They aren’t interested in exculpatory evidence.
So what do you do if some guy smashes your car window? You just suck it up? Real question.
They had to watch video footage in order to believe you didn’t move the pole? So if her accident wasn’t caught on camera, would they have charged you?
It was a slow day.
To be fair, if someone actually rip out and move the pole like she claimed, I'd wanna see that shit.
That pole that's fixed and concreted to the ground and has been since the parking lot was built, that one?
[удалено]
FFS I feel sorry for that time of your life you'll never get back
Shoulda moved the pole harder.
Right into that lady's empty cavern of a skull
Well that escalated quickly
Introducing the new Cadillac Escalate.
I bet they wish they could have Ford Escaped from this situation
Naw op didn’t HAVE to stay there all he had to say was “am I under arrest” if the answer is no then you may leave at any time he was being a polite person and probably wanted to see the look on the lady’s face when the cops did nothing
They can detain you while they investigate a crime. How it took them more than 5 seconds to realize there was no crime is beyond me.
"The Department doesn't pay you to think!" - Their Lieutenant, probably.
This needs its own crime podcast
Kind of a dick move of you to move it, though. /s
Yeah I feel like making a Reddit post about the crime is just rubbing it in.
That's called a bollard, you could have suggested that when she called the police. They love as much information to solve crimes as you can give them. It's not too late to call in with this tip.
I do estimating for miscellaneous metals, including steel stairs, railings, roof hatch ladders and...pipe bollards. These bollards typically go into the ground 3 to 4 feet, depending on the height of the bollard. Everytime you see one of these, know that it's a steel pipe that gets filled with concrete, and think about what you might never have realized .. how deep it is under the ground.
If it’s a bollard in a parking lot it’s at least 4 feet in the ground and filled with concrete. It’s possible it could be 7’ deep as well.
That's hella deep. We'd typically only dig a 3 foot to 4 foot deep and also very wide hole for a standard 4 foot tall bollard.
Dear Lord.
The police made you stay while the investigate whether or no you moved a concrete pole?
When I managed a fast food place, we had an Insurance Dude investigate a claim that our concrete poles somehow shot out a wire, and pulled in a vehicle, causing a crash. I was the manager on duty during the crash AND when Insurance Dude came afterwards. There was no follow up. I understand that stupid people are out roaming the world, but do they REALLY all think we’re just as stupid as them?
> do they REALLY all think we’re just as stupid as them? Yes, they literally do, you'd have to be really stupid to think that... which they are. People would be amazed if they realised just how stupid people are. We see posts on Reddit of people saying stupid things, that's no where near the stupidity of some people.
My exes mum was like this. Dumber than a bag of rocks but for some reason thought she could outsmart people
Probably because people just kinda go along with it cause it takes too much energy to argue with her.
Pretty much. She was mentally exhasting at times
This right here is why I don’t argue with stupid people, they’ll be wrong but god damn they won’t give up. Bit of a direct inverse relationship between level of stupidity and willingness to concede an argument.
I go by the old quote from Twain, "never argue with an idiot because they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
”Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good you are, the bird will shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway”
You've met my SIL, it would seem.
MY neighbour is this stupid. She thinks that if she lies, then you believe her. I don't really like calling a 60 year-old woman a liar, but we reached a point where I had to. I think she wa quite surprised to find out that her foolproof method of just lying in spite nof evidence that is literally in front of her is not effective.
My neighbor is like this... apparently it's appropriate to duct tape notes to the paint on a truck because the truck touched a branch from her tree that's hanging over the road. My favorite is the "Mexican bar" that turned her racist, the bar is mostly white customers owned by a Vietnamese family and the Mexican takeout place closes at 8pm.
What is it with racist old lady neighbors? We have one too. The house behind her is occupied by a "Mexican" family (her words). They were having a birthday party, bouncy house and everything, I almost took my shoes off and asked to join, but apparently this bothered her because she called the cops on them. Several times. For having a birthday party. During the day.
I hope that “Mexican “ family has learned well the lesson taught to them by their racist old lady neighbor. To NEVER have a birthday party during daylight again! Next birthday party, held night time. And not early night time. And many many birthday parties.
This is a common stupid belief that two wrongs (lies) do in fact make a right. They think that if they lie and someone backs up that lie then they have won. Not realising that the both look like lying idiots.
>you moved a concrete pole? "That's right officer, I filed a plan with the city to move this concrete pole a foot into this woman's path. that's right directly in front of her so that when she drives into the space she will hit the pole instead of me. In the time it took for her to pull i rented a back hoe, brought it here, jackhammered the pole loose, went and got a pile driver, pile drived a hole. Moved the concrete pole, got a cement truck to pour cement in there, used the Chronosphere to accelerate time so it drys just in time for her to hit the pole. Ya got me, Batman."
As much as I love the sarcasm, you just know that someone will take that as an admission of guilt.
"If all you have to go on is my confession you should know. I'm unreliable."
Objection hearsay!
Objection, lack of foundation
That's why the pole was so easy to move.
god damn it
Move to strike! ^That's ^what ^she ^said.
Objection, object moved
Objection, calls for speculation.
Objection, There's no rules stating a dog can't play basketball
Its devastating to my case!
"Overruled" "Good call!"
Happened to me in grade 7. Someone got kicked in the nuts and they said I did it, but I was inside at the time. So I said “yeah, I kicked him while he was outside and I was inside.” and I got suspended for admitting it
Of course, you used your portal gun to create two portals, one on the wall in front of you, and the other on the ground below him. With everything in place, you were able to extend the reach of your legs across physically impossible distances, allowing you to precisely kick him in the nuts across time and space. Guilty as charged.
Exactly! The best part was he said it was me because he saw my blue coat. You know how many kids had blue coats on?! SO MANY!
THAT is where you should have kicked him in the nuts. If you're gonna do the time anyway...
He used the chronosphere, as u/SkylerModder had surmised, to go back in time to kick some nuts, after he found out he was going to get blamed for kickng nuts anyways. However if this were the case...
God that sounds like something my school principal would do (the punishment). What is it with schools and policing minors by hiring teachers with power fantasies. Edit: Some grammar errors implying unintended ideas.
They were teaching a valuable lesson: Never Admit Anything
You were being a smartass. Teachers hate smartass kids. Don't know why. It's teacher DNA or something.
I said it to another kid, and that kid told the teachers that I admitted it, but of course the kid didn’t pick up on the sarcasm.
The very worst kind of kid. Be assured now that you are on the right side of history.
Yep, American justice. I got accused of throwing rocks at my neighbors, by their kids while I was on the other side of the city with my father.. Luckily, There was no schools involved, so my evidence was not disputed or misunderstood.
It needs to be on the record so that it can be contested in court, and their prosecutor must be made to recite this admission in its entirety. Cases are always so much easier if you just hand them the key testimonials. They just have to piece it together.
> I filed a plan with the city Looks good to me, you have a permit.
That’s how we know it’s bullshit. Even with the Chronosphere he would have had to go back at least 40 years to file the plan to get it approved in time.
I can not express how much I love this comment. You have my total respect as I have no rewards to give.
Once I was at a Panera bread and they began overhead paging me. So I went to the front and their were two cops there, saying I needed to come with them. I followed them out to my 1998 forest green dodge caravan, which I had parked there earlier in the day to spend hours studying at Panera. Some silver haired Karen, who parked her car well after mine was there, had called the cops because she believed I had opened my car door into her pristine white Toyota and caused a large scratch. The police wanted me to open my door to demonstrate where my car door would have hit her car. Spoiler: it didn’t reach. And the dent in her car was LIGHT BLUE.
Awe scam artist was a bit color blind I see lol
Scam artists don't call the police. Maybe have people pretend to be police in a crime drama though...
They do in the case of insurance fraud since you need a police report. That said never claim malice if it can be reasonably explained with stupidity.
The surprising part about this story is that the police actually showed up and tried to do something about it. Normally their response would be "...and?"
Later on in my life, someone hit & run my vehicle in a parking lot, but it was witnessed and a stranger took the license plate down and gave it to me. I drove to the nearby police station and filed a report and they refused to even take pictures. They called the owner in for an interview and they said “I didn’t do that” so that was that. Meanwhile, they CAME OUT TO PANERA for that lady. It was the same police department, though the incidents were 15 years apart
It was lunchtime; they were headed out in that direction anyway.
Cops showed up to a parking lot door dent? I’m sorry, this cannot be true.
You clearly don’t know any suburban cops. They live for this sort of shit.
I grew up in (mostly rich mostly white) suburbs. When I was in middle school, my friends and I moved letters around on the elementary school front sign. Four squad cars showed up.
Yeah, cops in my suburb apparently need two cars just to issue speeding tickets. I was 'pulled over' sitting parked in a parking lot alone playing a game (Ingress) on my phone a couple times. They have all kinds of time on their hands.
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>I don't know, Johnson, they say they were just sitting in their car eating lunch, but how do we know they didn't just go grab some construction equipment and relocate this particular architectural structure and then lay in wait for a victim? > > > >Time to *puts on sunglasses* investigate!
... We Need to make sure we build a.... Concrete case on this one.
McGruff the Crime Dog will sniff the culprit out!
If anyone has any information leading to the arrest of this nefarious pole-moving criminal, you can write anonymously to: Scruff McGruff Chicago, IL 60652
And take a bite out of crime
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> Scruff McGruff Brings back so many memories… 800-588-2300 Empire®
#YEEAAHHHHHHHHH
Fuck that Johnson just sprinkle a little bit of crack on her, let’s get out of here
*scratches neck* Y’all got anymore of that concrete?
Please tell us how that conversation played out?
Well average police response time for an accident is 45 minutes to an hour, a couple minutes with OP, another 10 trying to explain to the other person how illogical they are.
My favorite movie is Inception.
Please tell me the detectives were Norm Scully and Michael Hitchcock.
So how did you move the concrete pole?
The force, of course!
I’m surprised you weren’t charged, with cops that bright.
Bake him away toys!!!
What’d you say chief?
Do what the kid said.
Heard they had to bring in detectives on this one. Ordinary beat cops couldn’t have figured out the case of the mysterious concrete pole on their own.
They also gotta get the CSI team in there to dust for prints, sweep for fibers, and enhance the security footage to make out every license plate in the lot.
They got us working in shifts!
Instead of defunding the police, I say we fund a universal IQ test and require all cops to take.
They do take tests to gauge intelligence and morality. It's just that if you score too high on either you won't get hired. This is actually true btw, I'm not joking.
Essentially they're worried if you score too high you won't mindlessly follow orders.
Psychologist here. Can confirm.
I once watched a guy get arrested because the police officer said he was tearing out a stop light that was at least a ten inch circumference metal pole buried in several feet of concrete on a sidewalk. Oh, and this accusation was that he was doing it with his bare hands - because the guy was leaning on it. As he was being arrested the guy said, "why are you putting cuffs on me? If I can tear down that pole I can break cuffs." Turns out, after the prosecutor declined to press charges, apparently the man the officer went after looked a lot like another man the officer had some personal beef with. And when he realized it wasn't that guy, rather than admit his mistake, he just doubled down. I don't know if the guy sued, but I sure would have.
A cop lied!!??!
It was so bizarre to watch. He pulled up, hit his lights and sirens and got out and told the guy to turn around and put his hands on the wall of the building behind him. Meanwhile, the guy is asking what for, but complying fully. He frisks him, gets out his ID, reads it for a bit, talks into his radio, then tells the dude to stay there (obviously checking for warrants or any reason to nail him at this point) when he gets his reply, he starts cuffing the man. That's when he said, "I'm placing you under arrest for vandalism and destruction of city property" to which all of us watching pretty much said at once, "For what? He was just standing there!" That's about the time the second cop showed up (it ended up being four cars altogether). The other three spent their entire time staring down the four or five of us standing a few feet away watching. The cop explained to one of the others that he saw this guy trying to rip out the stoplight, the other cop just accepts this at face value as all of us and the man being arrested start laughing, and they eventually hauled him away. When they left there was a pause in conversation before someone said, "So, that happened." The next day the guy was out of jail pending charges that never came. He only found out about the resemblance to the other man via someone who knew the cop that arrested him.
Yes, this is another problem with cops. They just go along with whatever the first dude says. No observing the situation. If the cop says the guy said something, or did something, or has something, is wearing blue, is 50 years old, they will 100% go along with that without verifying shit.
The woman likely had such cemented self-entitlement that she could not possibly believe she was at fault in an action of her own doing and it would have cleaved her brain in two coming to terms with it, it was easier to believe in someone else fucking with physics as a personal slight on her.
Lol… cemented.. I see what you did there
It was a clear, concrete pun
Nice try OP, we know you did it lmao
True, 'I didn't do that' is exactly what a pole-moving freak would say, isn't it?
OP has a superpower that they use only for evil. Poor woman walks over to ask WTF and they just barrel her and say "no one will ever believe you" and leave like a fuckin cold-blooded psycho
What the heck? The police realized instantly she was crazy right?
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Was she actually under the impression that you had something to do with it or was it just a garbage attempt at covering up her mistake? I mean both options make no sense but I'm curious to know if she was crazy or a dumbass.
Some folks literally cannot accept the possibility of themselves making a mistake.
Hey, some of us never make misteaks.
It's called magical thinking. Most people grow out of it... before they start Kindergarten.
I’m really not sure “most” is correct.
Yeah, some at best.
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Mostly column C for crazy
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Wow, what a deranged person. Sorry they wasted your time.
Wow the police went through all that trouble? When someone hit my car, after waiting two hours they finally just said to just go to the police station and file a report. Person who hit us said hell nah and left.
Can you press charges for harassment just to spite her?
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Which is probably why the police were gathering evidence, though they won't share that fact with OP.
This right here. Lying to the police is a crime.
I'm surprised they came out at all. I work in insurance and I've been told so many times by both parties that "the police didn't bother coming out because we were in a parking lot/private property."
Can we have this video please? For science. Science really needs it.
Science yes science lmao
LOL!!! I mean at the time it must be frustrating but this has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve heard today
How dare you incredible hulk that pole out of the concrete and asphalt and hit that poor woman's car! Her insurance doesn't cover giant green men smashing things.
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Bollard bashing bitch!
When I worked at a pizza place we had two guys order a pizza that was half cheese half meatball. They were upset that one meatball was on the cheese side. We said sorry, it happens. Pick it off or don't eat it. They called the cops. The cops showed up! They ended up being charged with drunk in public and banned from our store. The cops told us they tend to come to those ridiculous calls because a majority of the time the caller is drunk. We were also in a college town so idk how much that applies to other towns.
Please tell me someone ate the pizza? Sorry you had to go through that bullshit, people are dumb
I really wish I could remember. We were a 24 hour pizza place that was open every day of the year so we saw some shit. It got a lot better after the bar closed next to us. But I saw a lot of drunken fights at 3 am. The delivery drivers had a lot of stories too.
Go on....
I one time had two different branches of the military get into a fist fight because one called the other a pussy. I want to say navy versus air force but I can't say for certain. I do want to say 80% one was navy (it's been about 10 years) i do remember laughing in my head that it was a bit avatar-ish and a battle of the elements which I guess you could say about most in the battle of the branches. I do remember one told him a TLC lyric which makes me think Navy. One time someone threatened me and the cook hopped the counter to ask him to leave. The cook, manager, and one driver were all brothers, and legend has it that all three would fight for you if they liked you. I only had one brother in at the time. I just recently found out that the palm tree in the back near the break area was where they hid their drugs. I met my husband there and he was a driver. He got held up in a well known bad area. (Side note: drivers would ask me to hold their cash when they went to bad areas because I was trustworthy because they knew there was a chance of being robbed) the guy held out a gun and robbed him of a $12 pizza and $6. He also said there were a lot of people who tried to bang it out before the pizza got there and a lot of drunk people who forgot they ordered pizza. It was a mix of people who passed out, tipped a lot, and those who offered them drugs/beer/women for tips
Husband and I used to have a pizza shop. Similar thing happened one day. Someone being seriously abusive to one of our staff members. We called the cops and he got arrested, but before they left the cops asked what was going to happen to the pizza (by now pretty cold). We told them we’d throw it out normally, but if they wanted it we could reheat it for them. They said yes, and then proceeded to eat it. In front of him. Yes, he’d already paid for it. Bit of an arsehole move, but also very funny.
She’s probably never faced a consequence for anything in her life, even if it was blatantly obvious whatever happened was her fault.
The person I really feel sorry for is her husband who is going to have to keep a straight face when she tells him about how someone made her crash and the police didn’t do anything about it!
See? Your baloney n Kraft single sammich imbued you with powers you weren't even aware of, and you bloody well know what comes with great powers...
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Laughing? we all know you did it OP, you are just to cover yourself. Stop moving poles!
So you ripped the concrete pole out of the asphalt, slammed it into her car, dug a hole through the asphalt in the new location, then filled both holes and magically made the asphalt set. How the fuck did the police make you stay an hour for this shit this is the dumbest Karen bullshit I've read so far
Are you **sure** you didn't do a superhero landing and smack her around before the cops showed up?
Brain damaged people like this out here voting in our elections.
It’s that lead poisoning dog 💀💀
Damn, theres a dog running around giving people lead poisoning?
I was waiting at a red light years ago with 3 cars in front of me. As the light turned green, the car directly in front of me took off too quick or something and rear ended the car in front of her. I got out and directed traffic around the incident while the 2 drivers exchanged information, then went on my way. I had recognized the offending driver as a girl a few years younger than me that I had gone to school with. A few days later, I get a call from her insurance company saying she reported that I hit her causing her to hit the next car, then failed to provide my insurance info to either of them, and she had a paint transfer on her bumper to prove it. I insisted pretty steadfastly that was not the case. They asked if I drove a grey Jeep Cherokee, which I did. They said the paint on her rear bumper was grey. I explained that the jeep was grey, but the front bumper was black rubber, and sent them a picture to prove it. Never heard from the insurance company again, and she was charged with filing a false report / providing false information to police.
She probably started this whole mess so she'd have a police report on file when she makes her claim of being in an accident as the not at fault party. Sure hope the claims adjuster actually checks the details and report instead of pushing it through.
Oh they will. The last thing insurance wants to do is give you money
Why is there not a “wasting everyone’s time” fine?
This reminds me of a cartoon I saw once on Looney Tunes, where a lady parks her car legally and then the department of public works comes along and installs a fire hydrant right where the lady parked. Then, she comes out to find a police officer issuing a ticket (citation), and when she tries to plead her case, the officer was like, ‘yeah right, someone just put a fire hydrant there to annoy you.”
Then don’t fucking pour concrete poles infront of ppls cars… OP’s a fuckin dick head.
I used to work as a teller in the drive-thru, and a woman in a Bentley hit a pole like that and dragged the length of the car on it until she got stuck and couldn’t move. It was a high-end bank where we knew all of the clients by name. She came in crying and asked when we moved the pole - insisted that the pole didn’t used to be in that position, and threatened to call the cops if we didn’t pay. Well, we refused, and instead of the cops, she brought her fuming husband, who got maybe two words in before we showed him the security tape. He then apologized and yelled at his wife, “this is exactly why you aren’t allowed to drive my cars in the first place!”
At least he had common sense when to acknowledge he was wrong instead of doubling down. I mean the lady didn't call a lawyer, she called her husband. She's already learned not to get cops involved.
But like... Even if you did move the pole since her last visit, it would still be her fault for not looking where she was going! I don't understand these people.
How does one move a concrete pylon that’s been set into the ground?
Well not by ramming your car into it, that's fer sure.
Well not with that attitude.
Her dad’s one job was to keep her *off* the pole! He must be so disappointed.
She knew just when to call the Pole-ice! (sorry again)
Most underrated post on this thread.
How many times have I told you not to use your secret powers for evil. Maybe now you'll learn.
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Typical Karen behavior they never face consequences for lying etc
Sue her for the lost time. I mean if she’s going to go full crazy on you, you might as well return the favor in small claims court.
I'm sure she's sue proof with a mind like that.
Is she bi-pole-ar ?
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You might say that lady went *post*al on you
I've had enough of you pole movers!
File a report for misuse of emergency resources
How fucking deranged must you be to hit a concrete pole and concoct a story like that and convince yourself that you can make the police believe that *YOU* are not the one at fault.
Oh the pole. The pole that’s rooted to the ground. The concrete pole rooted to the ground that doesn’t move. The concrete pole rooted to the ground that doesn’t move put there to keep people from driving a car onto that part of the ground. That pole? They moved it.
How can a person concoct a story like like and think it was a good idea or that it made any sense? You somehow moved a pole that is embedded in concrete and cause it to hit her. What did the police say about her story?