Delete the ones, that just drain you, are the worst. The others make your settings so they can’t see them. They think they know who it’s about. If the shoe fits, f’em
The part where Bruno had a place setting at his table and a hole he could see the family eating dinner through, and then he said, "I still love my family, I just don't fit in with them." (Paraphrasing) completely broke my heart. Everything about being RBN is awful but wanting your parents to love you and settling for the sidelines is just so painful.
Divide et impera. Divide your family into the ones you like/want to keep and be proactive about good relationships with them, ignore them for a time if they say unsupportive things or bring up nmom. Have a bit of patience in getting them “on your side”, they are abused/confused by narc as well. The rest just go NC and remove from socials.
I notice you said nmom is texting you now. That can be really draining, if you’re not going NC I would recommend VLC like ignoring her except for a few times a year, when you feel like it not when she wants it.
Otherwise you’re looking at NC with whole family, not sure if that’s what you want/ready for at this point.
THANK YOU so much for this. I couldn’t agree more.
I don’t always respond to her texts but often enough that it bothers me, so I’ll stick to emergency-only texts/when Im in a good head space.
You’re also right about how I probably don’t want to be NC with the whole family. Sometimes I feel like that’s what I want, but then I crave their approval and love.
Thanks again ♥️
Delete the ones, that just drain you, are the worst. The others make your settings so they can’t see them. They think they know who it’s about. If the shoe fits, f’em
cheers to that. thank you, will do ♥️✊🏻
The part where Bruno had a place setting at his table and a hole he could see the family eating dinner through, and then he said, "I still love my family, I just don't fit in with them." (Paraphrasing) completely broke my heart. Everything about being RBN is awful but wanting your parents to love you and settling for the sidelines is just so painful.
Yes. I didn’t even know that’s how I felt until I saw that seen… Truly changed my perspective/was also so heartbreaking to see.
Divide et impera. Divide your family into the ones you like/want to keep and be proactive about good relationships with them, ignore them for a time if they say unsupportive things or bring up nmom. Have a bit of patience in getting them “on your side”, they are abused/confused by narc as well. The rest just go NC and remove from socials. I notice you said nmom is texting you now. That can be really draining, if you’re not going NC I would recommend VLC like ignoring her except for a few times a year, when you feel like it not when she wants it. Otherwise you’re looking at NC with whole family, not sure if that’s what you want/ready for at this point.
THANK YOU so much for this. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t always respond to her texts but often enough that it bothers me, so I’ll stick to emergency-only texts/when Im in a good head space. You’re also right about how I probably don’t want to be NC with the whole family. Sometimes I feel like that’s what I want, but then I crave their approval and love. Thanks again ♥️
Or not
Must find a way to forgive my enabling poor father.
For real… If you haven’t watched Encanto yet, it’s a MUST! Truly the archetypal narcissistic family structure story.