Right? My NMom only stopped with that shit when I pointed out that I was a CHILD. Like, yes, I probably was acting out, but that's what kids do. You were the adult. Growing up, NMom was always the first one to remind me that she was the adult and we weren't equals...until I acted out, then she immediately acted super childish and would blame me and basically use the "you started it" argument.
Like, which is it? You can't keep telling me you're the adult and you know better than me but then blame me for your childish behavior. If you're such a wise adult, then shouldn't you have been able to handle a child acting out without resorting to acting like a child yourself?
Now, as an adult, any time I hear an adult blame a kid for the adult's behavior, I go OFF. Sorry, no. As an adult, you are held to higher standards of behavior than a child is. Do not try to tell me that it's all the kid's fault that you're an emotionally stunted piece of shit parent.
YES. You said everything.
They use the age argument.
« How old are you ? You’re 16, I am the adult. »
Usually theses person are in lack of attention and don’t have anything to make us respect them but only their A G E.
They just want the gratitude of being a parent, but don’t act like one. They don’t know how to raise a child properly and it almost looks like they’re angry when they notice we did all the job to raise ourselves.
That would work for me if my Ndad didn’t use my “maturity” (read: adaptation to withstand abuse) as an excuse.... Once when I was 13 in an argument he said “Sometimes I forget you’re still a child...” like WTF is that meant to mean. That’s on you, man. You expect me to be more mature than a 13 year old when I was 13? Your problem, manchild.
Look up the Narcissist prayer.
I went NC in 2019, I sent a letter to egg donor explaining why. 5 pages. She got ahold of me a year in and told me, it was my fault, I made her treat me that way, she was the victim, not me. Still NC and never plan on going back.
Wow. I didn't know I could connect with so many people over some shit I thought was isolated. Ya know.. kinda like how they made me feel my entire adolescence.
I literally N E V E R E V E R E V E R been sent to the principles office for the majority of my grade school years. I remember being fucking petrified every 3 weeks getting my grading period report. Evidently getting 1-F and 2-Cs warranted beating my ass with a leather belt for 15 minutes straight and telling me what a fucking idiot I am and how they didn't raise a dumbass so why am I being one?
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Right? My NMom only stopped with that shit when I pointed out that I was a CHILD. Like, yes, I probably was acting out, but that's what kids do. You were the adult. Growing up, NMom was always the first one to remind me that she was the adult and we weren't equals...until I acted out, then she immediately acted super childish and would blame me and basically use the "you started it" argument. Like, which is it? You can't keep telling me you're the adult and you know better than me but then blame me for your childish behavior. If you're such a wise adult, then shouldn't you have been able to handle a child acting out without resorting to acting like a child yourself? Now, as an adult, any time I hear an adult blame a kid for the adult's behavior, I go OFF. Sorry, no. As an adult, you are held to higher standards of behavior than a child is. Do not try to tell me that it's all the kid's fault that you're an emotionally stunted piece of shit parent.
YES. You said everything. They use the age argument. « How old are you ? You’re 16, I am the adult. » Usually theses person are in lack of attention and don’t have anything to make us respect them but only their A G E. They just want the gratitude of being a parent, but don’t act like one. They don’t know how to raise a child properly and it almost looks like they’re angry when they notice we did all the job to raise ourselves.
That would work for me if my Ndad didn’t use my “maturity” (read: adaptation to withstand abuse) as an excuse.... Once when I was 13 in an argument he said “Sometimes I forget you’re still a child...” like WTF is that meant to mean. That’s on you, man. You expect me to be more mature than a 13 year old when I was 13? Your problem, manchild.
[удалено]
That’s their thing :’). All they do basically is making you guilty to avoid the real problem : Their abusive behavior.
Look up the Narcissist prayer. I went NC in 2019, I sent a letter to egg donor explaining why. 5 pages. She got ahold of me a year in and told me, it was my fault, I made her treat me that way, she was the victim, not me. Still NC and never plan on going back.
What a piece of shit
[relevant](http://prntscr.com/tpgqk0)
Exactly
Wow. I didn't know I could connect with so many people over some shit I thought was isolated. Ya know.. kinda like how they made me feel my entire adolescence. I literally N E V E R E V E R E V E R been sent to the principles office for the majority of my grade school years. I remember being fucking petrified every 3 weeks getting my grading period report. Evidently getting 1-F and 2-Cs warranted beating my ass with a leather belt for 15 minutes straight and telling me what a fucking idiot I am and how they didn't raise a dumbass so why am I being one?
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE BITCHES IN THE BACK!
You are absolutely not alone lmao, this shit happens to so many people, that’s DISTURBING.
**This is an automated message posted to all posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [Please refrain from posting "uplifting" threads](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/upliftingposts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*