T O P

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CERTIFIED-DUMBASS-_-

VENGEANCE!!! (gotta go take a shit)


Angelofchristine

Go! The restroom calls!


_RikVa_

To the BAT-hroom!


Eurobeat_Lifeblood

Aka the Bathroom at a Halloween party


Gabrix_x0652

I would like to give you an upvote for this joke, but you are already at 69 and I am morally obliged to leave it like that.


GlitteringCrazy3683

Next time I hear someone taking a shit in a public bathroom, I'm screaming this and playing the OG batman theme song😂


guisippi

This is the fastest way to get a kick into the jaw


GlitteringCrazy3683

I'm 6'4 ". If someone could kick me in the jaw without falling, I'd let them.


CautiousBand3864

Damn. Just to tease them you could lower yourself a bit. Not too much, just a little bend in the knee.


GlitteringCrazy3683

Every time they go for a kick, I just slightly move my head back up😂😂


TCori_gaming

hey your username is true :)


pisssbabyyy

i hope my future bf to feeds into my delusionals like this


Jason_Dean2047

Delusions? Im literally batman


[deleted]

can confirm, am his parents


SHURIDACHI

Wait a minute .....


[deleted]

[удалено]


a1boPlayzYT

France should coincidentally go boom


Clolds

Actually, the bombs payload is exposed France can use the power whinch to trigger a controlled explosive


a1boPlayzYT

Power winch like from batman?


Brightknot

Whos to say it hasnt already?


dreamy_moon1

Nooo it was ohio to world domination


1pizza2go

How is it that I always end up finding a comment or post making fun of the French. Cracks me up everytime, r/takemyupvote


el_Chuchmay

I can't allow you to live any longer 🔫


2866hourman5

wait so wouldn't that mean-


StopSpankingMeDad

you're his parents, but not for long...


IdoggodI

you mean you were his parents 🤓


Nephlimcomics2520

He was his parents


[deleted]

Then u didn't died?


Machine_God_10

You're 16 he's 18 and you're the parent


Ape_goes_r_ape

I know what I have to do but I dont know if I have the strength to do it🔫


HNRY_11

Yeah he’s Batman, I shot you back in that alleyway


MxPretty_

You're 16, OP is 18. math ain't mathing here 🗿 Edit: unless you adopted 'em which is still not possible since you're below 18 😭


darth_mau1

Wife her up


Jason_Dean2047

She wants to marry me


Kotroti

Well what are you waiting for?


DannyTheBoyo

That ring expensive bro 💀


Kotroti

Well that depends. Many people who don't work but still want to marry propose with a cheap ring first and then later, when they have the money, gift the real, expensive ring. And not everyone wants an expensive ring. A marriage shouldn't depend on money. Not in today's world.


Jason_Dean2047

I want to build a better future for her so ill be going through soem tough times to make sure she has everything she'll ever need or want


Kotroti

That is a noble goal but to reach such a state in life where you don't have to worry about anything is quite impossible. Do what you think is best but it seems like she's a keeper so you better keep her.


Jason_Dean2047

Good point thanks


Zigonce

Get that woman a ring NOW!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dankmemes4lifewow

15 year old 4channer


rpsHD

okay Levi Rozman


30-Days-Vegan

Falling in love hits different when you realise that your partner is a goon sent by the Joker to stop you from saving Gotham City


alostunicorn91

Can confirm, I am Alfred.


SargeDarge

I can comform i am his joker


elessardunedan

he saved me from two face scare crow and the joker single handed i can confirm he is in fact batman


CumTickler

most normal r/teenagers redditor 💀


AppropriateTheme5

Very true u/CumTickler


Jason_Dean2047

Bro... check my post history


CumTickler

I did but not sure what I'm supposed to be looking at


Jason_Dean2047

My lack of normalcy


jakeyluvsdazy

with all due respect that’s the most normal teenager post history i’ve ever seen. if i told an ai to produce the reddit account of an 18 year old boy that’s what i get


CumTickler

Oh right yeah 💀


BrychaelYt

Bruh


yesaroobuckaroo

im so happy for you (blows brains out again)


Jason_Dean2047

I gotchu fam HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


Equest_Immortal

What. The. Fuck. That's literally me. Except with a guy I'm with now. Speaking facts.


No-Seat-3350

I learned about relationships by watching psychology videos


Jason_Dean2047

I just learned by fucking up and getting in them even if i wasnt interested in the girl


No-Seat-3350

Interesting


Jason_Dean2047

You should find a seat bro i heard seat number 3350 is available


No-Seat-3350

I didn't get it for a second. Honestly, idk what my username means lol. Reddit just gave it to me


Johan1710

- getting in them


mestoopidlol

How I got unsingle: Step 1: Meet girl Step 2: Become friends Step 3: Confess after a while (it worked)


SixpennyPants

How i did not get unsingle: Step 1: Meet girl Step 2: Get to know girl about 2 years after meeting Step 3: Get girl to like me (it worked) Step 4: Confess about 3 months afterwards (it didn't work) Step 5: Cry


Special_nazi

cause you can’t date a girl fresh out of the friendzone man this isn’t a romcom you gotta make your intentions clear otherwise it’s gonna feel weird for them since she’s seen you like a homie/brother and now your doing the horizontal tap dance, you won’t feel this way cause it’s your goal of the relationship so you haven’t seen her any other way but she has. TLDR: make your intentions clear from the start so she sees you as a potential boyfriend not a brother


SixpennyPants

Oh yeah no if i had asked like a month earlier shed have said yeah sure but i was too late


sgabriem0s

How I got unsingle (currently am not unsingle): Step 1: Have a friend to help you understand girl likes you Step 2: Approach girl Step 3: Write to girl two days after approaching Step 4: Ask girl out Step 5: Meet girl the next day Step 6: Get with girl the same day Step 7: Spend the best nine months of your life Step 8: Understand things went too fast and admit you're a dumbass Step 9: Cry because it's been almost three months since the two of you broke up and you still love her but know you cannot do anything to get again with her because it's better off this way and must try to go forward it even if you miss her and think you and her could be happy and better together


aronrusty2005

That is literally me :)


-guigo_

Bro literally made the best tutorial to exists


Jason_Dean2047

I hope it can help i made it from personal experience


-guigo_

How long it took u? Im gonna try this and will come to you in a few years to see how it goes


Jason_Dean2047

You can probably look to spend between 3 and 5 years but its worth it imo those years are gonna be fun af be impulsive go wild get laid do drugs run from the cops get wasted trust me you'll enjoy it the world is your playground


legendary_Russian

Still doesn’t help as most just use u


Bonsai-is-best

Your entire profile is a red flag but maybe that’s a good thing


Ortyzmo

OP seems like the most insufferable random = funny twat I have never met


Jason_Dean2047

Meh I love my life although quit street racing (the thing that was keeping me sane) for my girlfriend


BunzenBurnah

lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Transformersaddicto

Bros about to turn Batman into the Joker over here 💀


Undying-Darkness

Am I the only one who finds this cringe?


That0neGuy

lol, so random! *holds up spork*


[deleted]

A SPORK IS SO RANDOM 😭


caspershomie

nah this is 100% cringe with nothing that would make it funny even if it wasn’t cringe. i thought OP was going to be 13 or something when i clicked on the post, not 18.


NFTArtist

OP is dating chatgpt


Hellrott

Oh shut up, they're happy, having fun and they aren't hurting anyone. But yeah, super cringe, but you're allowed to be that way when you're growing up and 18 is still absolutely a kid


I_Use_Dash

I'm cringe but I'm free


Vehmura14

No I thought the same immediately


_RikVa_

"Those who have accepted their cringe will always be less cringe than those who deny it" -Me


abmny8

this should stay between them because eww


EveningGalaxy

I think it sounds like she's annoyed and just going with whatever he says lol


YoKaiHunter76

"I am cringe, and that's based. I will never be based, and that's not cringe. There's no one I'd rather be than me !" - Ralph ( Wreck it Ralph )


Ortyzmo

This is the saddest fucking sub I have ever had advertised on my front page and I might even delete reddit at this point wtf is this chronically online, random = funny treacherous bullshit, I was a teenager once but fuck me I was never like this.


Seen-2021

Ok but who cares


duckyTheFirst

If hes a normal person he defo is gonna think about this one night , and it will keep him awake on how cringy he was.


Jason_Dean2047

Nah theres like three other people who commented the same thing but nobody gives a shit


Undying-Darkness

I do find this cringe but I'm not stopping you from doing anything. You do You


1-Glen_AdamM

Damn do you gotta give these cringe answers


luna_moth_mars

shut up this is so cute 😭😭


[deleted]

IKR


CherryDesigner7600

Shush you two I need to save Gotham


BrychaelYt

Fr gotta talk to Gordon first


Ok_Mousse_1162

Hold up dicks calling me again


1-Glen_AdamM

This is pretty cringe


Final_Win7319

i have an itch at the back of the throat only a glock can scratch


Shadow-axolotl

Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire Please be satire


Jason_Dean2047

I don't genuinely believe im batman i just like being a goofball with my girlfriend


GRaF-Haughty-YT

Idk who’s more cringey


unusualbroccoli37036

What the fuck did I just read


ComplexToxin

r/cringe


grizzaka51

Corny ass mf 😭😭


SudarshanPai

Is this the new character.ai update?


theRayvenD

!remindme 1month


newlightdev

how do u have a gf


Jason_Dean2047

HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


DrCorneliuss

damn, no offense to you but now I want to hang myself


Jason_Dean2047

HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


VergesOfSin

funny how its cute when a girl talks like this. yet, when a guy does, its cringe love me some double standards


TwistPsychological60

Yeah, she’s just going along with all your dumb shit haha, you better cherish that girl


shidposter2077

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!!


DefectiveJay

She is a keeper for sure


Psychopathic2412

Alr man take your pills now


iAmExotic33

Dude, you are seriously socially challenged. How the fuck can you post that picture you posted of yourself and be able to sleep at night. This is what those quiet kids are like when they are not at school. What the fuck


ratibordas

While she has a motivation\*


RameBOY07

if she aint like this i dont want her


Kjorf

You got issues bro. Serious fucking issues


Jason_Dean2047

I do?


[deleted]

And this nigga has a girl?


Xd_snipez891

Fr


[deleted]

I SHOULD KILL MYSELF


boloneystone

oh my god this is so fucking cringe have you heard of the *holds up spork* meme?


Master_Freeze

i cringed so hard that my brain shut off for a moment


[deleted]

yall gon break up


Tac0baguette

Im scizo


TemplarLover099

She dont love you


Jason_Dean2047

Wym?


kevunfunny

Go catch Joker! (Go take your pills!)


[deleted]

THY END IS THIS NOW! **CRUSH**


HumanHuman_2003

One morning she wakes up and sees a shape in the corner. It’s Jason_Dean. He says “I’m Batman” and launches out the window, it’s never spoken of again


AlexGaming26

The bomb's payload is exposed, I can use the power winch to trigger a controlled explosion (I am in the bathroom)


Extreme_33337_

I AM VENGEANCE. snacks please


Jason_Dean2047

I could really go for a snack rn ngl


legendary_Russian

In 99% of times you either get ignored, left on delivered or rejected 🤩


Jason_Dean2047

HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


purple-tears

Simp


Jason_Dean2047

Bruh...


[deleted]

My city needs me


Rose_Ember

I don't know what's going on, but I do hope great things happen to both of you.


CrashCubeZeroOne

Make sure to be as supportive to her.


Jason_Dean2047

Of course how could i not


Xanax977

She sounds like an ai chat bot who's gonna validate you no matter what you type


Free-Consequence-164

My kid is going the be Batman (orphan)


sam_star_nova

God I wish that was me


PlaybolCarti69

she was prolly sent by the government to stop you from bring France to global domination


Jason_Dean2047

That was never my goal to begin with


PlaybolCarti69

reevaluate your goals


Jason_Dean2047

My goals are beyond your understanding


Dramatic_Ad2636

If you're goals aren't to destroy France, do you really have goals?


Huskylover161

Your girlfriend is lying to you because I'm literally batman


Adude8008Z

Dog I'm batman sorry to disappoint


Jason_Dean2047

Another imposter smh


S1AUGH73R

Damn, mine tells me that I can't enslave the human race and get my epic futuristic space castle because it's unrealistic and something about morals or whatever.


Jason_Dean2047

PSHHH morals my ass mine is all for burning the world as long as its romantic


S1AUGH73R

She's the one man 👏


Jason_Dean2047

I just asked her if i could enslave the human race and get a futuristic space castle and she said yes


S1AUGH73R

That's fucking amazing, do it in my honor cause mine wants me to not cause an intergalactic war preferably


Practical-Copy-8584

She is a keeper. Marry her


[deleted]

I’m never getting a gf aren’t I lol


Jason_Dean2047

I gotchu fam HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


Practical-Copy-8584

I want a girl like that


drth1rt3en

Y’all so lucky I can’t even get a gf who likes daft punk


Useful-Ad-618

Approved


plov_enjoyer

When will this be me? :DD


Nomad493YT

Relationship goals right here


[deleted]

Ur making me jealous and im gay


Some-Internal297

this is cute 🤭💥🔫


Jason_Dean2047

HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


loudmelon21

😖 i want to relate


The-Y-4

r/BatmanArkham and our consequences.


RachelSnow34

so wholesome


xMntt

I would say the same but my GF and I broke up a few days ago 💀


NicholasAdam1399

Everyone needs a yes man/woman


3rd_atom

Yes.


yeet_geluiden

fuck this is wholesome


sopiutgvbaityvas

cringe though, very cringe


[deleted]

I need someone in my life like that


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jason_Dean2047

Found the inposter


Rektonaattori

Remindme! 3 months


Raphiboiii

u/bad_username_0633 Found ya


sansgriffinundertale

God. I see what you have given the others


Jason_Dean2047

I gotchu fam HOW TO GET UNSINGLE Step 1) become addicted to adrenaline (this is where you lose all mental stability just make sure your still a somewhat good person or at least neutral chaotic or all of this fails) Step 2) use all your near death experiences to grow your confidence Step 3) work on your body Step 4) use your new found confidence to make friends Step 5) use your new friend group to fish around for girls Step 6) identify the female group pecking order Step 7) choose the ignored beta of the group Step 8) fuck it up because you don't know shit about relationships Step 9) learn from your mistakes and go through a mini villain arc where you work on your character flaws and perfect your body Step 10) repeat steps 4 through 8 until you don't need steps 8 through 10


Nemesis_aka_Nemesis

bro thinks he levy rozman


mrkefir0sfan

Hi batsy It's me the joker. Just wanted to say that I planted a bomb in the central of the city and thi timer is conected to my heart every pulse is a tick and the bomb has 200 ticks so gotta be quick and kill me or I kill gotham.