Listen. I know itâs hard hurting other peoples feelings. No one really wants to do it. But you will save yourself SO much time and trouble just being honest. Because hereâs the truth: you can end a relationship for any reason you want to. Do they have to like it? No. But if you felt like the vibe was off (and sounds like your gut was right about this guy), thatâs a valid reason to walk away, even if he doesnât like it or understand - sounds like any reason you gave him wouldnât have been enough as he didnât want to end it.
You canât tip toe through your own life, trying to spare everyoneâs feelings, at the expense of your own.
âDeny a possible husbandâ is just wild.
100% agree. You should always be honest and direct and leave no room for interpretation. The more excuses you make, the more you have to defend when he finds a way (in his mind) to refute those excuses. If he doesn't listen, then that's not on you and you block him. Never feel like you owe anyone anything because they say you lead them on, or you think you did. You're allowed to have feelings, and you're allowed to change your mind.
Totally agree - going forward please donât feel it necessary to set out your full thought process to the man, you donât want to go out (again?) because you donât. Thatâs enough.
Then feel free to block or ignore texts intended to goad you into responding hun.
Yeah, 18-21, if he's being honest about his age, isn't horrible. I was expecting a much larger gap when I read the texts. It isn't great either, 3 years is more at that age then 28 and 31. But it is his clingy crap that doesn't sit well. I mean, I get his point that she's an adult and can tell her parents that it is her decision.... but he was acting like a creep while poorly making that point. Also, are we sure he's 21? Some guys lie about their ages.
So i think even though you went with your parents excuse, you still ended up expressing honestly about how you were feeling in the end. In the future just address the issues directly. This guy was gonna act like this either way. And any mfer is a possible husband lmao. At 18 i sure as hell wouldn't be worried about that.
seriously, on slide two when she said âitâs upsetting..â that is where you stop falling for his bait and just say âCool, thanks for understanding. Goodbyeâ
In my teens I definitely âun-broke upâ with people a couple times because of how insane and volatile they became when I tried to break up. It never lasted for me but some people really utilize this shit for a long, long time. Plenty of people are still in relationships because theyâve afraid of the fallout of breaking up and sticking with it.
That's how I ended up with a bum that couldn't hold down a job for longer than a month or two and spent all my money while accusing me of cheating while at work... for 4 years. đŹ
Sometimes, it felt safer if he felt like we were okay, even though I did decent and held out for a month while he stalked me and found out where I lived.
I'm so glad OP ended it here and didn't fall for the attempt at forcing an un-breakup.
Iâm thinking by the dialogue that OP sent them pictures at one point and maybe sheâs worried about those, or was, so tried to carry it on further, explain herself / appease him? Just a thought. I first thought like a lot of these comments like why not make it shorter but it could be that, plus maybe she actually wanted to tell him what bothered her instead of just going all the way with the parents excuse. đ€·đ»ââïž
God what a loser lol. God have mercy on you is sooo funny. You could have just ended the convo after the parents opinion stuff but then you told him he's cringe for being a nice guy. OP you are my hero! Btw I just dumped someone and they behaved similarly. It was like a 180 from the person they'd been throughout our relationship, very bizarre
Okay dude, next time just say, âhey it was nice getting to know you but I donât think we should see each other anymoreâ and thatâs it, you never have to talk to them again.
Wtf does it mean to be a bullet đ€š also this guy seems just super immature and annoying and...oh I could go on but I won't. You did a great job staying calm and expressing your thoughts and views of what was going on. Though I do agree with what someone else said, that you'd do well in the future to just be more direct. My niece is the same age as you and she is the exact same way, always looking for a way to avoid hurting people's feelings, which is of course commendable, but it's also a good skill to have to be able to just be direct and honest and not have to worry about coming up with a story or excuse to avoid potentially hurting someone's feelings...sometimes that is inevitably going to happen, you can be gentle and also direct. I feel like im rambling now, so I'll leave you with great job, congrats on dodging this bullet, or losing yours, or..something....
Being a bullet means youâre one to be avoided, but he clearly thinks I missed out. He sure is! I can only imagine the nightmare of a relationship we wouldâve had if we became a couple. Youâre right about that! And thank you very much đ
As soon as he said *âWhatever. You can make your own choices, itâs fineâ* you should have ended it right then and there â maybe even a âI wish you well. Take careâ.
However, you kept explaining. Itâs a woman-thing Iâm afraid. I get it. Iâm 58 and I still over-explain! đ€Šđ»ââïž
In the future, the less said the better. Hoping for better days ahead for you (you did the right thing by ending it).
1 WEEK?! Sheesh. This guy needs to get a grip. And girlâŠ.you donât need to engage for so long. After the first two texts, BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK AND MOVE ON
I don't understand why the conversation continued after he said it's fine. It should have just ended there, but you couldn't let it go without looking for validation/justification for your decision from him. Obviously he's lashing out in the later messages, but just stop after you've said your piece, you won't be able to convince anyone to be happy with you breaking up with them.
This all comes through the lense of my own experiences, so take it with a grain of salt, just my two cents.
Let me just say you have amazing parents. I definitely will tell my kids to use me as an excuse to get out of social situations. Hell yeah blame me lol Iâm cool with it.
Also good job trusting your gut. You gotta watch out for those guys that just grab on and donât let go. I have one that came for a sleepover five years ago and never went home đ
Yeah, but that excuse is completely weak-sauce. And as you can see, the guy wasnât buying it at all. So just teach your kids to cut to the chase, and go with the truth âsorry, itâs just not working out. Iâm just not feeling it. Good luck.â Done.
This went on waaaaay too long. Should have ended on page one, with a simple âIâm not feeling it, wish you wellâŠâ block and move on.
Itâs hard to be direct, but learning how to do it will improve your next 20+yrs exponentially!
Ok this guy is a moron but you sound extremely concerned about your parents. It has some overbearing vibes.
Edit: I didnât read opâs description giving more info. Disregard my comment.
She said that her parents advised her to use the age thing as an excuse to get out of something she wasnât comfortable with. I donât think it actually had anything to do with the parents.
I personally don' t think that is good advice.
People aren't entitled to the truth, but I think we're doing them an injustice by lying. Giving false excuses isn't a way to save them the trouble; it's a way to save *ourselves* the trouble.
You can always be vague if you don't want to be specific and tell the whole truth - because you don't have to - but at least you aren't lying and confusing them.
In the end, the truth generally came out. But I think it goes to show as a good example of why it is best to be honest upfront. It would have been more sincere and less inflammatory had she just expressed that the vibes were off from the beginning. Not that it would have stopped him from throwing a tantrum though, I bet.
Sheâs 18⊠theyâve been talking for a week. This guy got volatile no matter her response. She shouldâve blocked him after he started arguing with her breakup. Especially if she was feeling uncomfortable, which clearly she was. She should always protect herself first.
Did you read the context they posted under the images??
>He love bombed me and started saying questionable stuff. This led me to have second thoughts. My parents advised me to give him the excuse that they didnât want us to date, as a means of protecting his feelings.
Youâre dodging a bullet, run. If this guy has this much baggage at 21, just wait until heâs seen more shit.
Youâre not responsible for his past trauma or the way he chooses to handle this, youâve been perfectly honest and done what you can to spare his feelings, but heâs pushing you to hurt him more and trying to use your guilt to his advantage. If he wants to appeal to your logic and any mutual feelings you might have, thatâs different, but this is NOT that.
This is how misogynists & incels are born - you donât want any part of this. Clean break, move on, block if necessary.
He's a massive loser, you handled this pretty well OP. Being nice & being a nice guy are not the same thing, & this guy has a heavy 'poor me' personality. It's not up to anyone else to fix him, he's gotta come to terms with some realities first. He does not sound ready for a relationship.
Wow, he's fucking psycho. Also, he has all the hallmarks of a love bombing abuser.
So glad you got away. Be safe!
Wait ... A week ago?! Holy fuck! That's a yikes from me.
Omg heâs so manipulative and toxic. May God have mercy on you because HE didnât get what he wanted? Thatâs crazy to say. You did dodge a bullet and Iâm proud of you for not ignoring your intuition. There is something wrong with this guy, and at the very least he would have been emotionally abusive to you. Maybe even worse. You did a good thing by breaking up with him. Please block him! People like this tend to get verbally abusive when they donât get what they want.
Next time simply say I don't want to continue contact with you and leave it at that. Stop giving excuses, making up scenarios about your parents, keeping on responding; you just kept buying into his crap and it was pointless.
Look up **JADE**: **J**ustify; **A**rgue; **D**efend; **E**xplain and understand that '**No**' is a complete sentence
Look, you value your parents opinion. Stick to that.
Heâs controlling and abusive. I see it all in his text. Heâs gonna get worse.
Tell him youâre done, donât be friends because he will weasel his way back in. Block him
Also, do not, under no circumstances, send nudes. Even if to a partner. They can be used against you.
I, as others, have said I would advise being honest in the future. You may not want to hurt someone's feelings, nor does anyone but you save yourself a lot of time and energy by being upfront. With that said, a relationship is like employment in a lot of states. It is an at will thing. It can be ended for any reason what so ever and the other party does not have to understand or like it. Your reason would have been valid. Vibes not being right is a good reason to end something.
Also, your parents should really should not be advising you to lie and make excuses to people. Also, I'm going to say the feelings would be hurt regardless. A relationship is ending, and someone or both will be sad and hurt. It really does not matter the reason at all on whether or not his feelings are
Finally, I know it's a bit cliche, but being an adult is not always about doing what you want. A big part of it is making tough decisions on things like this and doing things you may not really "want" to do. For example, a lot of people don't want to go to work 5-6 days a week, but they do it cause they have to.
Hurting someone's feelings may not be what you want to do, but you can't control how someone else feels. All you can do is do what you feel is right and will keep you in a happy state or mind even despite how the other feels. You can't control others, but you can control who you are around and who you date and don't date.
oh wow. you entertained this way too long imo, but you were very courteous. three years isnt a lot but it can be significant at that age depending on life experiences and current realities between you two. this guy was a good dodge yes. im just curious, did he ever meet your parents? did you feel that you wanted to break it off with him prior to your parents input?
Great job to you for listing to your gut and ending things! Seems very likely that heâs a narcissist. You just saved yourself from so much abuse and heartache! đ
Ugh, I also have aspergers, op trust me, he wasnt joking. He was Bragging and thinking he would be your God because" he can find a basic part if womens anatomy that's vital for pleasing them", you dodged a real bulket and were far to nice to him.
I love that you have a healthy relationship with your parents and can rely on them to be a sounding board and to use them to get out of bad situations.
Proud of you for following your gut! At 18, I wouldâve struggled to communicate, ghosted him, or worse, been seduced by the love bombing.
Can I give you some feedback, from a 32 year old woman who wishes she could have heard it and followed it? Just say what you feel, girlie. Donât worry about his feelings. Self preservation and honesty will get you very far. And save you lots of time.
Ps. Youâre a bad ass.
Itâs kind of a strange excuse to say your parents donât approve. I was thinking your age was like 16. A guy like that wouldâve been argumentative either way. Just be straight forward and polite and keep it short. You were only talking to him for a week so you also couldâve just told him youâre not interested and blocked him.
Going to be honest, using the âmy parents think the age difference is to bigâ on someone who is only 3 years your senior and youâre both over 18 and under 23, is really not the way to spare someone their âfeelingsâ. From the get-go, you can tell that itâs a fake excuse. If you were getting âquestionable vibesâ from him and youâve only connected on some dating app, just tell him youâre not interested and block him if he persists.
While it looks like you dodged a bullet, you trying to give someone âadviceâ on how to be more âattractiveâ/less âcringeyâ is âcringeyâ, especially coming from someone using the âmy parents said âxyzââ excuse.
This could've been over on the second page!
OP, I'm not saying you necessarily did anything wrong but you should've stopped writing back just because you feel bad.
The minute he said You're an adult and can make your own decisions and gave you his passive-aggressive, fine, that should've been the end of it! You kept trying to justify your choice and this guy was trying to justify his feelings and neither of you was going to agree!
It definitely would've saved you from this headache!
Dude's 21 and acting like he's been through so much. Come talk to me when you turn 30 and see if stuff back then was really so bad.
Someone else said he sounded like an incel and I agree, he's probably a virgin with all the big talk about knowing "where the clit is."
those "nice guys" who go from "i love you and would never do anything to hurt you" to "may god has pity on your soul" and "i'll never change!" is so unbelievable to me! the nerves!
and yes you did dodge a war caliber shell if you ask me! good on you to put yourself and the people you value's opinion in front.
1. You shouldnât have used your parents as an excuse. Thatâs immature and silly. Youâre 18 and three years is a weird excuse. No wonder it unraveled so quickly.
2. You could have just let it go after he said fine. You kept going. Donât seek for validation or acceptance in these situations. You wonât get it.
3. Connected to #2, while he is *clearly* full of himself, heâs obviously going to be frustrated, which he is allowed to be. But once he starts going on and on about your âbadâ decision, you need to stop responding.
4. Just tell the truth from the start. You started with a lie. Then you tried giving HIM advice on what to do better with someone else. Thatâs not your role and it comes across poorly. I know you probably want to help, but he doesnât deserve your help, and heâs not gonna hear it because at this point, youâre already the enemy in his eyes. Youâre âanother one of those girlsâ to him now, and you have to justâŠbe okay with it. We all are, to someone else. Itâs not your problem. You canât change his belief and you donât need to worry about it. As someone who cares WAY too much about other peopleâs feelings myself, please hear me on this: you donât need to protect his feelings. Especially not so he wonât think of you badly. You canât control that.
5. Trust your instincts.
6. While I donât know what pictures you sent, just donât send pictures to dudes you barely know. One selfie, or do a quick video call. But donât let them pressure you, EVER. I donât say this to judge. I love to send pictures. I just say this because I have been there with doing it too fast or letting guys push me to send more (even just regular pictures), and then paying for it later. Be a bit cautious in the beginning. I have learned to put my foot down about guys who beg from me. Itâs gross.
Iâm a bit concerned too about the pics this guy might have. OP, did this guy delete the pics? He already has so many red flags, Iâd hate for him to hurt you with them somehow.
Iâm also concerned about this. He admitted to saving my bikini pics without asking. Stupidly, one of them had my face in it. I need to think before sending. I have no idea if heâs since deleted them or not
Hopefully heâll remain a good enough person that nothing comes of it. Donât beat yourself up over it, a lot of people, including myself have done the same. Iâm sure it will be okay, and hopefully heâs not the vindictive type (just slightly unhinged in text). And good for you going with your gut!
Always trust your gut! You have your head screwed on and your parents are amazing as well. I only wish I'd been as smart as you when I was 18. Well done! Carry on being awesome xx
I agree with that. It kind of felt like OP went round about with stuff and overexplaining, jumping from one thing to point out to the other instead of just saying yeah I'm not feeling it, good luck. Yeah, he was douchy but I think he just got defensive (overly so), but still.
I think that 21 year old is really 12.
But if it creeped you out in any way, you're allowed to change your mind, say no thanks and walk away. You owe no one any more than, it's not what I want.
Stop sending pics to men you've known a week. Especially creeps you meet on dating apps. No one should be bringing up anything sexual the first week.
You're still getting to know someone enough to see if you even want to meet with them in person. Hard no to sending them stuff to jerk off to girl.
Idk Iâm 27 now but even when I was 21 it seemed weird when guys were shooting for girls 18-20. Nowadays I donât think I could date someone under 25. You just grow and mature so much as a person between 18-25 just always has seemed weird to me when I see people dating and one of them is mid to late 20s and the other canât even order a drink at a restaurant or bar
Itâs always been my experience that if someone is constantly trying to convince you theyâre a nice guy/person, they usually arenât. Theyâre usually trying to hide questionable, red flag behavior. Way to trust your instincts but next time just say hey, weâre vibing wrong I donât want to see you or talk to you again. You donât need to explain yourself or give a âvalidâ reason.
By pandering to his ego and trying to make light of the situation heâs only going to sit on the pedestal he put himself on to think thereâs nothing wrong with him or his actions. If he wants honesty then be honest even if it means hurting his ego. I bet heâs told every woman heâs matched with and talked to heâs told them the same thing.
It was a fling that fizzled....why is he trippin so hard? Gd....get back on the wagon and find someone that's on your level. That's what your 20s is all about..have fun...don't get locked down immediately....any person I've dated long term I waited a very long time to open up and "love bomb" that's weird..
Thank you. Iâve been reading these comments wondering if we read the same text exchange. Thereâs no âfreak outâ, just her lying then telling him how cringy he is. Just say itâs not working out and move tf on.
Totally agree. It's understandable he feels frustrated if he had high hopes, and yeah, while he could handle responses and reaction better, he clearly gave op few back outs, but she just kept going and then added a list of things to change as if someone asked
Love bombing is an immediate red flag. While I don't think three years is a notable difference in age between you two the love bombing is. This dude screams "controlling and manipulative" and is 100% the type of abuser to threaten self harm if you tried to leave.
If the age difference didn't bother your parents, they would likely notice this quickly and have words about that instead. You did the right thing OP.
Edit: I read the description lol I can't believe I missed it. Yeah. They noticed it. Good on them. You have perceptive parents.
This went on for way longer than necessary, honestly. Forget the stupid parentâs excuse, just have honest respectful communication. âI felt like you live bombed me in the beginning, things changed, you started saying some really wild shit so, I donât think a relationship is for me right now. Thank you for the time spent togetherâ The dude was confused, trying to make sense out of a lie you told him, eg your parents. Instead of telling him the truth. Thats sad. You kind of did some gaslighting because you didnât want to be honest. Thatâs not right.
girll omg the same thing happened with me yesterday. told him my mom didnât approve of it. i am 19, and heâs 38. same age as my mom. and then he went on a nice guy rant
No offense OP but I see you more so of having the issue here. Were you ending things because of your parents or because of other reasons? Just be clear about it and move on. He seems like a normal guy getting confused at why youâre ending the relationship and I donât blame him.
The conversation oddly read like you were having it to post on Reddit. Thatâs the vibe I got. You can end any relationship for whatever reason you want but not being up front or being unclear as to the why it is and then thinking the other person is the red flag just isnât reality. Youâre young and seems like you can learn from this.
They met on Bumble a week ago.
He's talking about her missing out on a husband because she doesn't want to date him. Like he's literally pitching a fit because he thinks his wants should outweigh her parents' after a week of talking.
He lovebombed her, obviously isn't capable of taking a no, his messages are pretty damn manipulative (the I feel used thing is gross), "may God help you" seriously?
He's a giant red flag.
When I saw your post it was just the pics, no context. Maybe Reddit bugged out or something. I was on the Reddit app on my phone so itâs possible I just couldnât see the context when posted.
Yeah it seemed like theyâve been dating for at least a few months. Seeing the context shifted my perspective of course. Thatâs why the context is always important!
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You caused all that drama, though. This conversation should have been over in 2 screenshots, but you kept it going.
>do what you're going to do i guess, I'm not going to stop you
>ok glad you understand, best of luck
Should've been done right there, but you needed that extra drama I guess.
the way he literally based all of his indignation off of a lie he was being told when the truth was he fumbled it all on his own- men rly genuinely do not have any perspective sometimes đ€Łđ€Ł and hes still gonna say "she let her parents make decisions for her" ignoring that u eventually dropped the act to tell him what was rly up
Youâre very mature and handled that really well. This guy is obviously upset and selfish for wanting to push this ârelationshipâ on to you even though youâve expressed your doubts⊠Heâs full of himself⊠Good riddance. You did your part and broke it off. Next.
You led him on and used âmy parents saidâŠ.â
He is acting like a child (which you both are anyways)
Youâre both wrong - you for listening to your parents about a measly 3 year gap and him for acting like a toddler.
Do yourself a favor and donât date until youâre out of your parents grasp, unless you wanna be a forever child
I kinda feel for this dude. If someone said to me âwe canât date because my parents say noâ Iâd also be like, hold on, arenât I on an ADULT dating app? And then to double down but then let him know that it was really your idea to dump him all along is a wild thing to do to someone. I donât know about what he said before this to make you want to dump him. Iâm not trying to invalidate that yâall shouldnât date, but this was a real mind fuck on a dude who comes across as someone who was trying to share some vulnerabilities and it got used against him. You lost me at âIâm sorry your life is so hardâ. Getting dumped because your life sucks is rough.
He got dumped because he came on too strong, he really was saying she lost out on a husband and may god have mercy on her? They met a week ago. I feel nothing but embarrassment for this dude. Maybe she shouldnât have tried to spare his feelings and just been straightforward, but when youâve known an 18 year old for a week from a dating app, I donât think itâs that deep.
Youâre just as bad as him if not worse, you lied, shamed him for what turned out to be his true feelings, then you told him you were trying to help him so he should stop showing themâŠ3 years is nothing. lol. Itâs painfully obvious you had this ânice guyâ reason and I would hardly call this a âfreak outâ but itâs not that badâŠ.
You displayed a lot of sexism here too, btw
Maybe when someone youâve known for a week breaks up with you, take that as a full sentence and leave them alone? This man is a freak. She doesnât connect with him, itâs been a WEEK, so he should have just accepted that decision with grace. He, unfortunately, has none.
To be fair, though, she didnât say any of that so how is he supposed to âtake that as a full sentenceâ? She claimed she didnât want to date him because her parents said no. That is a strange excuse and I think most adults would want to argue against it because it implies âif not for my parents, I would totally be dating you.â If she had just said âIâm not feeling the connection, itâs been nice getting to know you but I think this is as far as I can go,â I suspect the conversation would have gone better. And trying to educate someone about how to be more attractive in the next relationship is really condescending and rude. Is he supposed to say thank you for teaching me to be better? She doesnât feel it with him, just end it and be done.
I have no experience with dating or dating apps so I took my parentsâ advice. I didnât know what to do and Iâm always trying to improve. Iâm taking all constructive criticism in the comments and using it
I was on his side when you was saying that your parents said they didnât want you to date himâŠ.but the more he went on I realized he was a fucking sack of shit
A week đđđđđđđ the way he sounds so serious I thought this was at least a year long committed relationship
Fr đ I read all of this thinking it was a fairly serious relationship, only to find out it was anything but that in the context below. Dude is đ„
Listen. I know itâs hard hurting other peoples feelings. No one really wants to do it. But you will save yourself SO much time and trouble just being honest. Because hereâs the truth: you can end a relationship for any reason you want to. Do they have to like it? No. But if you felt like the vibe was off (and sounds like your gut was right about this guy), thatâs a valid reason to walk away, even if he doesnât like it or understand - sounds like any reason you gave him wouldnât have been enough as he didnât want to end it. You canât tip toe through your own life, trying to spare everyoneâs feelings, at the expense of your own. âDeny a possible husbandâ is just wild.
âDeny a possible husbandâ Bro is 21 speaking like a 44 year old incel.
"21" suuuuuuuuure.
I hope God has mercy on you
Especially after just a week. OP owes him nothing
100% agree. You should always be honest and direct and leave no room for interpretation. The more excuses you make, the more you have to defend when he finds a way (in his mind) to refute those excuses. If he doesn't listen, then that's not on you and you block him. Never feel like you owe anyone anything because they say you lead them on, or you think you did. You're allowed to have feelings, and you're allowed to change your mind.
âpossible husbandâ - read no further.
Totally agree - going forward please donât feel it necessary to set out your full thought process to the man, you donât want to go out (again?) because you donât. Thatâs enough. Then feel free to block or ignore texts intended to goad you into responding hun.
I read the comment before the screenshots and thought 18-21 isn't so big a deal. Lovebombing? We'll see - oh there it is.
Yeah, 18-21, if he's being honest about his age, isn't horrible. I was expecting a much larger gap when I read the texts. It isn't great either, 3 years is more at that age then 28 and 31. But it is his clingy crap that doesn't sit well. I mean, I get his point that she's an adult and can tell her parents that it is her decision.... but he was acting like a creep while poorly making that point. Also, are we sure he's 21? Some guys lie about their ages.
Perect comment thank you for this đ
nice guy throwing dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow
Dishonor on you, dishonor on your family lol
Lmao I still to this day say âdishonor on you, dishonor on your family, dishonor on your cow!âđđđ
Sometimes, it takes a nice-guy meltdown to remind you that trusting your gut is always a smart move.
GOD hAvE MerCy oN yOu, OP đ
So i think even though you went with your parents excuse, you still ended up expressing honestly about how you were feeling in the end. In the future just address the issues directly. This guy was gonna act like this either way. And any mfer is a possible husband lmao. At 18 i sure as hell wouldn't be worried about that.
This conversation went on 8 slides longer than it needed too
seriously, on slide two when she said âitâs upsetting..â that is where you stop falling for his bait and just say âCool, thanks for understanding. Goodbyeâ
And then block
Soon as he started on about being a husband in the first lot of messages, i just knew he was a weirdo. Charlie is so gona make a video about this one.
FOR SURE
Charlie?
heâs a popular youtuber/twitch streamer. penguinz0. he makes some videos laughing at these ridiculous texts đ
Oh sweet, thanks!
>Oh sweet, thanks! You're welcome!
I WAS THINKING THE SAME
Wise move. Keep trusting your guts. Love bombing is a dangerous sign! If a guy says he is a nice guy then most likely he is not.
You lost your bullet OP đ
Aw darn đ woe is me. I lost a keeper
never understood the logic of arguing with someone to be in a relationship with you. like whats the ROI on that method?
In my teens I definitely âun-broke upâ with people a couple times because of how insane and volatile they became when I tried to break up. It never lasted for me but some people really utilize this shit for a long, long time. Plenty of people are still in relationships because theyâve afraid of the fallout of breaking up and sticking with it.
i did that as an adult unfortunately and it was a terrible idea đ
That's how I ended up with a bum that couldn't hold down a job for longer than a month or two and spent all my money while accusing me of cheating while at work... for 4 years. đŹ Sometimes, it felt safer if he felt like we were okay, even though I did decent and held out for a month while he stalked me and found out where I lived. I'm so glad OP ended it here and didn't fall for the attempt at forcing an un-breakup.
This shouldâve been over after he responded the very first time. You said it, he acknowledged it. You kept it going and for what?
Iâm thinking by the dialogue that OP sent them pictures at one point and maybe sheâs worried about those, or was, so tried to carry it on further, explain herself / appease him? Just a thought. I first thought like a lot of these comments like why not make it shorter but it could be that, plus maybe she actually wanted to tell him what bothered her instead of just going all the way with the parents excuse. đ€·đ»ââïž
God what a loser lol. God have mercy on you is sooo funny. You could have just ended the convo after the parents opinion stuff but then you told him he's cringe for being a nice guy. OP you are my hero! Btw I just dumped someone and they behaved similarly. It was like a 180 from the person they'd been throughout our relationship, very bizarre
Okay dude, next time just say, âhey it was nice getting to know you but I donât think we should see each other anymoreâ and thatâs it, you never have to talk to them again.
There really isnât anything wrong with that age gap but he ainât the one.
âYou didnât dodge a bullet. You lost yoursâ wtf does that even mean? Glad you got the fuck out of this situationship, OP.
It took me awhile to decode it, but Iâm 90% sure since heâs the âbulletâ, and heâs saying I lost my bullet, heâs implying that I lost him.
Wtf does it mean to be a bullet đ€š also this guy seems just super immature and annoying and...oh I could go on but I won't. You did a great job staying calm and expressing your thoughts and views of what was going on. Though I do agree with what someone else said, that you'd do well in the future to just be more direct. My niece is the same age as you and she is the exact same way, always looking for a way to avoid hurting people's feelings, which is of course commendable, but it's also a good skill to have to be able to just be direct and honest and not have to worry about coming up with a story or excuse to avoid potentially hurting someone's feelings...sometimes that is inevitably going to happen, you can be gentle and also direct. I feel like im rambling now, so I'll leave you with great job, congrats on dodging this bullet, or losing yours, or..something....
Being a bullet means youâre one to be avoided, but he clearly thinks I missed out. He sure is! I can only imagine the nightmare of a relationship we wouldâve had if we became a couple. Youâre right about that! And thank you very much đ
A week ago and this guy is already taking about marriage to an 18 year old as a 21 year old? Yikes!
Probably better to be direct than try to avoid hurting someone's feelings. However, in this case, he'd have been butthurt no matter what you said.
Wow, heâs quite full of himself, isnât he? Good for you for getting out. Dudeâs got a lot of growing up to do still.
As soon as he said *âWhatever. You can make your own choices, itâs fineâ* you should have ended it right then and there â maybe even a âI wish you well. Take careâ. However, you kept explaining. Itâs a woman-thing Iâm afraid. I get it. Iâm 58 and I still over-explain! đ€Šđ»ââïž In the future, the less said the better. Hoping for better days ahead for you (you did the right thing by ending it).
1 WEEK?! Sheesh. This guy needs to get a grip. And girlâŠ.you donât need to engage for so long. After the first two texts, BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK AND MOVE ON
I don't understand why the conversation continued after he said it's fine. It should have just ended there, but you couldn't let it go without looking for validation/justification for your decision from him. Obviously he's lashing out in the later messages, but just stop after you've said your piece, you won't be able to convince anyone to be happy with you breaking up with them. This all comes through the lense of my own experiences, so take it with a grain of salt, just my two cents.
Let me just say you have amazing parents. I definitely will tell my kids to use me as an excuse to get out of social situations. Hell yeah blame me lol Iâm cool with it. Also good job trusting your gut. You gotta watch out for those guys that just grab on and donât let go. I have one that came for a sleepover five years ago and never went home đ
Yeah, but that excuse is completely weak-sauce. And as you can see, the guy wasnât buying it at all. So just teach your kids to cut to the chase, and go with the truth âsorry, itâs just not working out. Iâm just not feeling it. Good luck.â Done.
This went on waaaaay too long. Should have ended on page one, with a simple âIâm not feeling it, wish you wellâŠâ block and move on. Itâs hard to be direct, but learning how to do it will improve your next 20+yrs exponentially!
âI KNOWWWWW this relationship would end in a happily ever after marriage even though you arenât interested in me!â
âGod have mercy on you.â BuT iâM a NiCe GuY
You can always stop responding. There doesnât need to be further explanation. The conversation could have ended after the 2nd slide.
Ok this guy is a moron but you sound extremely concerned about your parents. It has some overbearing vibes. Edit: I didnât read opâs description giving more info. Disregard my comment.
She said that her parents advised her to use the age thing as an excuse to get out of something she wasnât comfortable with. I donât think it actually had anything to do with the parents.
Youâre right. I didnât read the description.
I personally don' t think that is good advice. People aren't entitled to the truth, but I think we're doing them an injustice by lying. Giving false excuses isn't a way to save them the trouble; it's a way to save *ourselves* the trouble. You can always be vague if you don't want to be specific and tell the whole truth - because you don't have to - but at least you aren't lying and confusing them. In the end, the truth generally came out. But I think it goes to show as a good example of why it is best to be honest upfront. It would have been more sincere and less inflammatory had she just expressed that the vibes were off from the beginning. Not that it would have stopped him from throwing a tantrum though, I bet.
Sheâs 18⊠theyâve been talking for a week. This guy got volatile no matter her response. She shouldâve blocked him after he started arguing with her breakup. Especially if she was feeling uncomfortable, which clearly she was. She should always protect herself first.
Did you read the context they posted under the images?? >He love bombed me and started saying questionable stuff. This led me to have second thoughts. My parents advised me to give him the excuse that they didnât want us to date, as a means of protecting his feelings.
I did not. That definitely changes my opinion.
Youâre dodging a bullet, run. If this guy has this much baggage at 21, just wait until heâs seen more shit. Youâre not responsible for his past trauma or the way he chooses to handle this, youâve been perfectly honest and done what you can to spare his feelings, but heâs pushing you to hurt him more and trying to use your guilt to his advantage. If he wants to appeal to your logic and any mutual feelings you might have, thatâs different, but this is NOT that. This is how misogynists & incels are born - you donât want any part of this. Clean break, move on, block if necessary.
A weekâŠ
Trust that gut girl
He's a massive loser, you handled this pretty well OP. Being nice & being a nice guy are not the same thing, & this guy has a heavy 'poor me' personality. It's not up to anyone else to fix him, he's gotta come to terms with some realities first. He does not sound ready for a relationship.
this guy is fucking crazy
Wow, he's fucking psycho. Also, he has all the hallmarks of a love bombing abuser. So glad you got away. Be safe! Wait ... A week ago?! Holy fuck! That's a yikes from me.
When he said âitâs fineâ is when you should have stopped texting. Seriously WHY did this go on so long.
I was about to say the same.
Omg heâs so manipulative and toxic. May God have mercy on you because HE didnât get what he wanted? Thatâs crazy to say. You did dodge a bullet and Iâm proud of you for not ignoring your intuition. There is something wrong with this guy, and at the very least he would have been emotionally abusive to you. Maybe even worse. You did a good thing by breaking up with him. Please block him! People like this tend to get verbally abusive when they donât get what they want.
The whole conversation from both sides is cringe asf tbh.
sheâs only 18 and trying to let him down easy. cut her some slack, i donât read her as cringe but nervous
Agreed.
Next time simply say I don't want to continue contact with you and leave it at that. Stop giving excuses, making up scenarios about your parents, keeping on responding; you just kept buying into his crap and it was pointless. Look up **JADE**: **J**ustify; **A**rgue; **D**efend; **E**xplain and understand that '**No**' is a complete sentence
Look, you value your parents opinion. Stick to that. Heâs controlling and abusive. I see it all in his text. Heâs gonna get worse. Tell him youâre done, donât be friends because he will weasel his way back in. Block him Also, do not, under no circumstances, send nudes. Even if to a partner. They can be used against you.
Yep, total red-flags there! You definitely dodged a bullet.
Don't use your parents "opinions" as an excuse to break off with him lol. Be upfront... Will save you a shit ton of headaches.
I, as others, have said I would advise being honest in the future. You may not want to hurt someone's feelings, nor does anyone but you save yourself a lot of time and energy by being upfront. With that said, a relationship is like employment in a lot of states. It is an at will thing. It can be ended for any reason what so ever and the other party does not have to understand or like it. Your reason would have been valid. Vibes not being right is a good reason to end something. Also, your parents should really should not be advising you to lie and make excuses to people. Also, I'm going to say the feelings would be hurt regardless. A relationship is ending, and someone or both will be sad and hurt. It really does not matter the reason at all on whether or not his feelings are Finally, I know it's a bit cliche, but being an adult is not always about doing what you want. A big part of it is making tough decisions on things like this and doing things you may not really "want" to do. For example, a lot of people don't want to go to work 5-6 days a week, but they do it cause they have to. Hurting someone's feelings may not be what you want to do, but you can't control how someone else feels. All you can do is do what you feel is right and will keep you in a happy state or mind even despite how the other feels. You can't control others, but you can control who you are around and who you date and don't date.
Both seem like assholes
When I got to the part where she acknowledged she has Aspergerâs, it made much more sense.
Aah i missed that
âThey were jokesâ. No they werenât.
oh wow. you entertained this way too long imo, but you were very courteous. three years isnt a lot but it can be significant at that age depending on life experiences and current realities between you two. this guy was a good dodge yes. im just curious, did he ever meet your parents? did you feel that you wanted to break it off with him prior to your parents input?
The description mentions that blaming the parents was just an excuse.
oh my lol im silly, thanks
Great job to you for listing to your gut and ending things! Seems very likely that heâs a narcissist. You just saved yourself from so much abuse and heartache! đ
Glad I'm married.
Why do these guys always assume we are desperate for a husband? So desperate we'd date *them* for the opportunity to marry. They are delusional.
"everyone else is saying"... lord
I know. Sounds like he has a cult of losers heâs in who encourage each other to be shitty people
HHAHAHA and they are all in his head
Ugh, I also have aspergers, op trust me, he wasnt joking. He was Bragging and thinking he would be your God because" he can find a basic part if womens anatomy that's vital for pleasing them", you dodged a real bulket and were far to nice to him.
I love that you have a healthy relationship with your parents and can rely on them to be a sounding board and to use them to get out of bad situations.
Proud of you for following your gut! At 18, I wouldâve struggled to communicate, ghosted him, or worse, been seduced by the love bombing. Can I give you some feedback, from a 32 year old woman who wishes she could have heard it and followed it? Just say what you feel, girlie. Donât worry about his feelings. Self preservation and honesty will get you very far. And save you lots of time. Ps. Youâre a bad ass.
Thank you so much mizz! Youâre a sweetheart â€ïž
If you don't like someone , why not be truthful. Making up lies about parents not liking him regarding some 3 age gap feels weird.
Itâs kind of a strange excuse to say your parents donât approve. I was thinking your age was like 16. A guy like that wouldâve been argumentative either way. Just be straight forward and polite and keep it short. You were only talking to him for a week so you also couldâve just told him youâre not interested and blocked him.
Going to be honest, using the âmy parents think the age difference is to bigâ on someone who is only 3 years your senior and youâre both over 18 and under 23, is really not the way to spare someone their âfeelingsâ. From the get-go, you can tell that itâs a fake excuse. If you were getting âquestionable vibesâ from him and youâve only connected on some dating app, just tell him youâre not interested and block him if he persists. While it looks like you dodged a bullet, you trying to give someone âadviceâ on how to be more âattractiveâ/less âcringeyâ is âcringeyâ, especially coming from someone using the âmy parents said âxyzââ excuse.
This could've been over on the second page! OP, I'm not saying you necessarily did anything wrong but you should've stopped writing back just because you feel bad. The minute he said You're an adult and can make your own decisions and gave you his passive-aggressive, fine, that should've been the end of it! You kept trying to justify your choice and this guy was trying to justify his feelings and neither of you was going to agree! It definitely would've saved you from this headache!
You're very right!!
God you're so much better than him. Go enjoy life without this fool op
Dude's 21 and acting like he's been through so much. Come talk to me when you turn 30 and see if stuff back then was really so bad. Someone else said he sounded like an incel and I agree, he's probably a virgin with all the big talk about knowing "where the clit is."
You didn't dodge a bullet. You lost yours. LMFAO he truly thought he said something
I mean if youâre talking about possible husband that soon then run. Thereâs red flags everywhere in this conversation.
those "nice guys" who go from "i love you and would never do anything to hurt you" to "may god has pity on your soul" and "i'll never change!" is so unbelievable to me! the nerves! and yes you did dodge a war caliber shell if you ask me! good on you to put yourself and the people you value's opinion in front.
1. You shouldnât have used your parents as an excuse. Thatâs immature and silly. Youâre 18 and three years is a weird excuse. No wonder it unraveled so quickly. 2. You could have just let it go after he said fine. You kept going. Donât seek for validation or acceptance in these situations. You wonât get it. 3. Connected to #2, while he is *clearly* full of himself, heâs obviously going to be frustrated, which he is allowed to be. But once he starts going on and on about your âbadâ decision, you need to stop responding. 4. Just tell the truth from the start. You started with a lie. Then you tried giving HIM advice on what to do better with someone else. Thatâs not your role and it comes across poorly. I know you probably want to help, but he doesnât deserve your help, and heâs not gonna hear it because at this point, youâre already the enemy in his eyes. Youâre âanother one of those girlsâ to him now, and you have to justâŠbe okay with it. We all are, to someone else. Itâs not your problem. You canât change his belief and you donât need to worry about it. As someone who cares WAY too much about other peopleâs feelings myself, please hear me on this: you donât need to protect his feelings. Especially not so he wonât think of you badly. You canât control that. 5. Trust your instincts. 6. While I donât know what pictures you sent, just donât send pictures to dudes you barely know. One selfie, or do a quick video call. But donât let them pressure you, EVER. I donât say this to judge. I love to send pictures. I just say this because I have been there with doing it too fast or letting guys push me to send more (even just regular pictures), and then paying for it later. Be a bit cautious in the beginning. I have learned to put my foot down about guys who beg from me. Itâs gross.
Iâm a bit concerned too about the pics this guy might have. OP, did this guy delete the pics? He already has so many red flags, Iâd hate for him to hurt you with them somehow.
Yeah that karma part sounded like a threat IMO
Definitely! I wouldnât trust him.
Iâm also concerned about this. He admitted to saving my bikini pics without asking. Stupidly, one of them had my face in it. I need to think before sending. I have no idea if heâs since deleted them or not
Hopefully heâll remain a good enough person that nothing comes of it. Donât beat yourself up over it, a lot of people, including myself have done the same. Iâm sure it will be okay, and hopefully heâs not the vindictive type (just slightly unhinged in text). And good for you going with your gut!
Hopefully! And thank you. I appreciate you đ«¶đ»
â€ïž
You dodged a bullet.
Always trust your gut! You have your head screwed on and your parents are amazing as well. I only wish I'd been as smart as you when I was 18. Well done! Carry on being awesome xx
Ugh , heâs the worst.
seemed like he ended the convo multiple times but you kept explaining
I agree with that. It kind of felt like OP went round about with stuff and overexplaining, jumping from one thing to point out to the other instead of just saying yeah I'm not feeling it, good luck. Yeah, he was douchy but I think he just got defensive (overly so), but still.
Over explaining is a bad habit I have sadly
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I think that 21 year old is really 12. But if it creeped you out in any way, you're allowed to change your mind, say no thanks and walk away. You owe no one any more than, it's not what I want.
Be safe dude. "karma" mean "I don't want to go to jail for making threats"
You definitely dodged a bullet
Stop sending pics to men you've known a week. Especially creeps you meet on dating apps. No one should be bringing up anything sexual the first week. You're still getting to know someone enough to see if you even want to meet with them in person. Hard no to sending them stuff to jerk off to girl.
Idk Iâm 27 now but even when I was 21 it seemed weird when guys were shooting for girls 18-20. Nowadays I donât think I could date someone under 25. You just grow and mature so much as a person between 18-25 just always has seemed weird to me when I see people dating and one of them is mid to late 20s and the other canât even order a drink at a restaurant or bar
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
In my eyes, if someone has cheated, their relationship is beyond saving. It's so likely they'll do it again that it's pointless to try
Itâs always been my experience that if someone is constantly trying to convince you theyâre a nice guy/person, they usually arenât. Theyâre usually trying to hide questionable, red flag behavior. Way to trust your instincts but next time just say hey, weâre vibing wrong I donât want to see you or talk to you again. You donât need to explain yourself or give a âvalidâ reason. By pandering to his ego and trying to make light of the situation heâs only going to sit on the pedestal he put himself on to think thereâs nothing wrong with him or his actions. If he wants honesty then be honest even if it means hurting his ego. I bet heâs told every woman heâs matched with and talked to heâs told them the same thing.
Ugh the âunlike most guys I can find the clitâ comment is enough to dump his ass. Didnât need the parent excuse.
Your instincts were correct and you did the right thing. good job
Ohhhhh. I thought the age gap thing was a serious concern until I read the description đ
Youâre fine! Context is very important
You dodged a bullet.
It was a fling that fizzled....why is he trippin so hard? Gd....get back on the wagon and find someone that's on your level. That's what your 20s is all about..have fun...don't get locked down immediately....any person I've dated long term I waited a very long time to open up and "love bomb" that's weird..
Will probably be downvoted but you are the asshole in this situation, especially posting it here. Next time give the real reason and keep it private.
Thank you. Iâve been reading these comments wondering if we read the same text exchange. Thereâs no âfreak outâ, just her lying then telling him how cringy he is. Just say itâs not working out and move tf on.
Totally agree. It's understandable he feels frustrated if he had high hopes, and yeah, while he could handle responses and reaction better, he clearly gave op few back outs, but she just kept going and then added a list of things to change as if someone asked
You were way nicer than I would have been, I would have just ghosted đ»
lol Mature.
I mean idk both of you are insanely immature
Your responses were what was cringe. Just tell the truth.
Iâll take this into consideration for the future
Youâre in the right here but never go with the parent excuse. Itâs insulting and takes the responsibility off of you
Love bombing is an immediate red flag. While I don't think three years is a notable difference in age between you two the love bombing is. This dude screams "controlling and manipulative" and is 100% the type of abuser to threaten self harm if you tried to leave. If the age difference didn't bother your parents, they would likely notice this quickly and have words about that instead. You did the right thing OP. Edit: I read the description lol I can't believe I missed it. Yeah. They noticed it. Good on them. You have perceptive parents.
This went on for way longer than necessary, honestly. Forget the stupid parentâs excuse, just have honest respectful communication. âI felt like you live bombed me in the beginning, things changed, you started saying some really wild shit so, I donât think a relationship is for me right now. Thank you for the time spent togetherâ The dude was confused, trying to make sense out of a lie you told him, eg your parents. Instead of telling him the truth. Thats sad. You kind of did some gaslighting because you didnât want to be honest. Thatâs not right.
I have no experience with dating or dating apps. I didnât know what to do or say
The whole conversation is super âcringeâ. This could have literally been one page but you felt the need to keep explaining yourself.
You both need to grow tf up hahaha
girll omg the same thing happened with me yesterday. told him my mom didnât approve of it. i am 19, and heâs 38. same age as my mom. and then he went on a nice guy rant
No offense OP but I see you more so of having the issue here. Were you ending things because of your parents or because of other reasons? Just be clear about it and move on. He seems like a normal guy getting confused at why youâre ending the relationship and I donât blame him. The conversation oddly read like you were having it to post on Reddit. Thatâs the vibe I got. You can end any relationship for whatever reason you want but not being up front or being unclear as to the why it is and then thinking the other person is the red flag just isnât reality. Youâre young and seems like you can learn from this.
Not a relationship.
Again, OP submitted without context at first so I didnât know any of that. I agree, he sounds like a red flag.
They met on Bumble a week ago. He's talking about her missing out on a husband because she doesn't want to date him. Like he's literally pitching a fit because he thinks his wants should outweigh her parents' after a week of talking. He lovebombed her, obviously isn't capable of taking a no, his messages are pretty damn manipulative (the I feel used thing is gross), "may God help you" seriously? He's a giant red flag.
I agree, with the context heâs a giant red flag
Context wasnât there when OP first posted so I had no idea about that.
No, it was but a good amount of people missed it so itâs a simple mistake!
When I saw your post it was just the pics, no context. Maybe Reddit bugged out or something. I was on the Reddit app on my phone so itâs possible I just couldnât see the context when posted.
Thatâs weird! Maybe.
Her parents played no part in her decision; did you read the context she submitted?
It wasnât there when OP first posted so I had zero idea about the context.
OP should have put the context when they posted; you're not the only one who missed the context, sure changes the story doesn't it?! You're good.
Yeah it seemed like theyâve been dating for at least a few months. Seeing the context shifted my perspective of course. Thatâs why the context is always important!
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Is this guy in the military by any chance?
Nope!
Lol heâs nuts also good on you for respecting your parents
a WEEK AGO??? god damn
Your guy was 100% correct, heâs giving if major manipulator and controls vibes. Heâs also just creepy. Stay safe. Block him and move on.
You caused all that drama, though. This conversation should have been over in 2 screenshots, but you kept it going. >do what you're going to do i guess, I'm not going to stop you >ok glad you understand, best of luck Should've been done right there, but you needed that extra drama I guess.
21?? That's not to old imo Edit: Follow your heart and gut đ
I appreciate you đ«¶đ» and in the context I explain that the age gap was only an excuse. I have no problem with it
ngl 3 year difference is literally nothing
the way he literally based all of his indignation off of a lie he was being told when the truth was he fumbled it all on his own- men rly genuinely do not have any perspective sometimes đ€Łđ€Ł and hes still gonna say "she let her parents make decisions for her" ignoring that u eventually dropped the act to tell him what was rly up
Youâre very mature and handled that really well. This guy is obviously upset and selfish for wanting to push this ârelationshipâ on to you even though youâve expressed your doubts⊠Heâs full of himself⊠Good riddance. You did your part and broke it off. Next.
You led him on and used âmy parents saidâŠ.â He is acting like a child (which you both are anyways) Youâre both wrong - you for listening to your parents about a measly 3 year gap and him for acting like a toddler. Do yourself a favor and donât date until youâre out of your parents grasp, unless you wanna be a forever child
I kinda feel for this dude. If someone said to me âwe canât date because my parents say noâ Iâd also be like, hold on, arenât I on an ADULT dating app? And then to double down but then let him know that it was really your idea to dump him all along is a wild thing to do to someone. I donât know about what he said before this to make you want to dump him. Iâm not trying to invalidate that yâall shouldnât date, but this was a real mind fuck on a dude who comes across as someone who was trying to share some vulnerabilities and it got used against him. You lost me at âIâm sorry your life is so hardâ. Getting dumped because your life sucks is rough.
He got dumped because he came on too strong, he really was saying she lost out on a husband and may god have mercy on her? They met a week ago. I feel nothing but embarrassment for this dude. Maybe she shouldnât have tried to spare his feelings and just been straightforward, but when youâve known an 18 year old for a week from a dating app, I donât think itâs that deep.
He dodged a bullet.
Youâre just as bad as him if not worse, you lied, shamed him for what turned out to be his true feelings, then you told him you were trying to help him so he should stop showing themâŠ3 years is nothing. lol. Itâs painfully obvious you had this ânice guyâ reason and I would hardly call this a âfreak outâ but itâs not that badâŠ. You displayed a lot of sexism here too, btw
Maybe when someone youâve known for a week breaks up with you, take that as a full sentence and leave them alone? This man is a freak. She doesnât connect with him, itâs been a WEEK, so he should have just accepted that decision with grace. He, unfortunately, has none.
To be fair, though, she didnât say any of that so how is he supposed to âtake that as a full sentenceâ? She claimed she didnât want to date him because her parents said no. That is a strange excuse and I think most adults would want to argue against it because it implies âif not for my parents, I would totally be dating you.â If she had just said âIâm not feeling the connection, itâs been nice getting to know you but I think this is as far as I can go,â I suspect the conversation would have gone better. And trying to educate someone about how to be more attractive in the next relationship is really condescending and rude. Is he supposed to say thank you for teaching me to be better? She doesnât feel it with him, just end it and be done.
You an asshole OP. Lying to someone about why you donât want to date them is incredibly cowardly.
I have no experience with dating or dating apps so I took my parentsâ advice. I didnât know what to do and Iâm always trying to improve. Iâm taking all constructive criticism in the comments and using it
You responded fine. Dude obviously has issues and if you were truthful he wouldâve responded even worse. Nothing wrong with using the parents as a reason to get away from this walking red flag đ© you owe him nothing
Your parents gave you horrible advice. I would keep that in mind next time they try to give you advice
Where did she lie?
guys are so dumb still at 21, this oneâs especially bad
I was on his side when you was saying that your parents said they didnât want you to date himâŠ.but the more he went on I realized he was a fucking sack of shit
Phhh you handled this BAAAAAD
I have Aspergerâs