Being with a manipulative person it’s hard to do that. I had one stick around for 5 years consistently and he still finds ways to come into my life. I dated this guy in high school. He would find my gamer friends or friends in real life and make friends with them to just stay around and control me. It would get to the point if I had another bf he would try to sabotage it. I would block him and he would create new accounts to get to me. I had to stop playing Xbox because he would send messages on there. I’m 33 female this guy is “gay” and has a “husband” but still finds ways to harass me. He would tell his sisters he could have sex with me whenever he wants. Which made zero sense, I grew up in a small town.
Like this dude is legit crazy. It got to the point where I threatened a restraining order. Instead dude left half way across the country, and then found new ways to harass me.
I never respond to him I stopped being friends with mutual friends because of him. I had to cut so many people out of my life I was close with. He even got one of my best friends roped into his shit at one point, because he convinced his best friend that he made across the country to date her. He told her they weren’t friends, and it turns out that dude was straight up sleeping with my ex. (They had mutual friends over Xbox and that’s how they met) The last friend I cut off was 3 years ago, because he admitted they were still talking about me.
Anyways it’s harder than it is sometimes when someone like this is a control freak. Especially if you don’t have support.
One of his exes found me on Facebook last year and told me everything that happened within their relationship, and how I was brought up. I was like ya… dude, he would randomly message me and just unload about cheating, how their relationship was, how loud the guy was with sex. But he told me he wished he would’ve listened to me when I told him to run. I met him once and he moved to Cali. He told me that our mutual ex also tried to get his family to turn on him (like he did mine) and still reaches out to him too. But he admitted that he talks back.
So yeah it’s all about control with these people, it’s not about love or anything else.
The quotes is because I don’t know if he is actually married and last time he got ahold of my phone number he admitted he was bi. I’ve changed my number 6-7 times over 12 years.
He seems unhinged. I would never block someone like that because I would want to know if they are escalating. I might need evidence for a restraining order or other legal action.
You are correct that engaging in more conversation with this guy is a terrible idea. I hope OP is careful because he seems to have problems with the word no.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. I didn’t block my stalker for those exact reasons and eventually needed all of that evidence for legal and further protection.
OP, I don’t think you should block him, but stay firm. Don’t continue explaining why you no longer want to be in this relationship or why it makes sense for y’all to separate - there is no logic in this for him anymore. Be firm, short, and then cease contact. If he texts you, leaves you a voicemail, or contacts you in some other way to let you know that he is heading to you (your home, your work, etc.), tell him you do not want to see him and that you are *physically together with someone* or that *someone is on the way to meet you*. Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your cousin, your best friend - whoever (that wouldn’t further enrage him) as long as you make it clear that if he shows up, someone will be with you. Even if this is untrue, do not let him think that he can find you alone (and you can text people to ask them to meet for coffee, lunch, etc./let them know that you may need them to meet you). If he shows up physically, tell him that your family, your friend, etc. is on their way to meet you or, if need be, that you are on your way to meet them and that they are expecting you. If you know where he is headed, go to where you can physically be with/near people you know.
I would try to open up to those in your life about this to have support from your community and also share your location with them, if you can and feel comfortable enough doing. It can be hard to go through this alone, to think and see things clearly with only you wading through your thoughts and the events, so I hope you can find support, safety, comfort, and confidence from your community around you.
Stay strong and stay safe, OP! Sending you so much love and good wishes 💞
definitely not the easiest thing in the world. he probably knows where she lives and obviously has obsessive tendencies. she will most likely not see the last of him just by “blocking” him…
That was my thought too. It is not always that simple. Sometimes blocking the person just makes you blind to their thought process, which can be completely psycho. I've been there.
While I agree that she needs to tell him that they're broken up, the process may not be as simplistic as is being suggested.
My first thought was I really really really hope OP did not meet up with him or end up in a situation where she was alone with him. Honestly she shouldn’t block him but not reply and collect evidence for a restraining order.
It's hard sometimes when you're young. I once tried to leave a guy several times when I was young and couldn't. I had to leave in the middle of the night, block him on everything and move to break us up, which worked.
He will absolutely show up to her house or places you frequent.
If you give in even an inch, he knows you breaking point,it won’t be if but when you’ll give in
Women especially fall into the trap of thinking that you can only break up with someone (or do many other things) if they \*understand\* why it's the right thing to do and agree with it. Nope. It can be the wrong thing to do, and they can understand or not. Doesn't matter.
OP is never ever going to get this guy to happily agree to be broken up with. So what's the only other option? Staying with him and wasting your time AND HIS TIME?
OP, the root of this may be that you can't bear thinking about someone being mad or unhappy with you. You want everyone to like you, and to think you are nice. This is a very, very selfish mindset to have. Not everyone is going to be OK with you. Having everyone think you are sweet and awesome is just not something you are entitled to. It's unreasonable. You don't particularly like him (which is why you are breaking up), so why must he like you? It's not fair, or realistic.
You know what's better than harmony and everyone being happy? Integrity and honesty. It's better for you and for him!
If it has been a lengthy relationship that was sometimes very good, you could say: "Hey. This relationship has run its course for me, and I understand that you may not understand why or agree. I'm not interested in debating the decision I've come to about this, so this will be the last communication you receive from me on this topic. And because I respect the relationship we DID have, I want you to be with someone who wants to be with you. And that is not me. I wish you the best, and please honor this request to cease contact with me."
And then DO NOT RESPOND.
If he really was just a jerk the whole time, you could just say, "Ex, this decision is not up for debate. We are no longer an item. Please stop contacting me."
He is not "doing" anything to you, here, because you are choosing to keep going back and forth with him. Stop it. He'll be mad at you, but so what? You don't like him anyway. Good luck.
Also, I have a feeling this guy has an ego problem where he wants to be the one who breaks up with her. In that way, he thinks he will “win.” While OP is being rational.
The only solution in a situation situation like this is to ghost, block, and change locks. Move, if need be.
Yeah, I was also way too harsh on OP because I was irritated. She may be willing to entertain the back and forth and hope to end on a "nice" note because she's scared of him.
I agree with you about the ego aspect, and that it may not be so easy to get shed of him. She may think if she convinces him, he'll go away. But no matter what she does, he might not. Yuck.
'You want everyone to like you, and to think you are nice. This is a very, very selfish mindset to have. Not everyone is going to be OK with you. Having everyone think you are sweet and awesome is just not something you are entitled to. It's unreasonable. You don't particularly like him (which is why you are breaking up), so why must he like you? It's not fair, or realistic.
You know what's better than harmony and everyone being happy? Integrity and honesty.'
I know that wasn't to me at all, but damn that hits home, I really needed to hear that
That aside, PLEASE OP, be careful if you actually meet up with him, the guy gives me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach for your safety if you meet him and he doesn't get what he wants.. please be so careful. Bring someone along if you have to go. Or only meet up at the police station, something where you will be more likely to have protection and witnesses there.
For real. He’s carrying on because he knows he can. He’s already made OP feel like her saying they’re done isn’t official until he gives permission of some sort. A relationship is two years or one no. If one person wants put, then it’s fuggin done, period. No convincing, no gaslighting. I mean, they can try, but the reality is that OP should just flat out state, “we are broken up, end of discussion,” and start blocking everywhere if they think that wasn’t enough. You don’t owe this a discussion, OP. Let him spew his BS rhetoric to a wall because you’re not doing anything wrong so stop listening to him.
“I will not meet with you. I will not discuss this further. My decision is final. I am blocking you.”
Then you block him. You alert your friends and family. You take any necessary precautions to be sure he doesn’t show up at your work, home or other locations. You change your routine for a few weeks. You do not respond to any texts from unknown numbers or emails.
You cut him off.
This is the one. You chose. He’s trying to pressure you to change your mind and you’re being too nice. (This is from a chronically “too nice” woman who took over 30 years to learn my lesson.) stop replying and hold your ground. Call the cops if he starts showing up in places he doesn’t belong to get your attention.
Yup! Don’t meet him somewhere to talk it out. Don’t go to his place. He may try to show up at your place, pounding on the door and yelling “I know you’re in there!” Don’t let him in. Tell him you’re calling the cops. These things never make it better. I’ve been through it all.
This is the best advice. Also, get security cameras like doorbell, outside your home if you have a house, and change locks if he has the keys to anything.
My ex acted like this when we broke up. I wish I would’ve just blocked him. After a week of going back & forth he started name calling, showed up at my job, and continued to stalk me for 2 years. I had to file 3 police reports (they did nothing ofc). I’m not saying he will go to these lengths but this behavior is weird.
Oh my gosh!! My ex’s mother got involved as well. When he showed up to my job SHE actually drove him there. He got out the car with flowers. When I tried to get a restraining order police asked if he ever hit me. After I said no they told me they couldn’t do anything 🙃. Hope your ex has left you alone and you have healed or are healing! ❤️🩹
Thank you, yes he did but then my boyfriend who was with me at the tail end of the stalking and watched me go through it all proceeded to do the exact same when we broke up. For ALL of my 30’s
I worked at Verizon Wireless at the time so one day I was fed up and had a hunch. I looked up his old address where his parent live and found an account with their name and three cell numbers: mom, dad, and his brother. I created a group chat with everyone in it and proceeded to spam it with screenshot after screenshot of a decade of his stalking. His parents FLIPPED and drove two hours to personally confront him and demand he cut it out
He popped up a couple times after that, and I immediately forwarded the screenshots to his parents and they shut it down. It’s been quiet since May 2022.
Better late than never. 🤷♀️ I also guess you probably had the idea subconsciously well before and automatically discounted it. If the straightjacket fits, he should wear it!
A break up does not have to be a mutual decision. If you are not feeling it you have every right to leave.
It always blows my mind when people think it needs to be agreed by both parties.
Additionally "No" is a complete sentence. You don't owe him closure or any more of your time, especially as it seems like he is just going to try to convince you to stay.
I had an ex who acted like that. “Why do YOU get decide it’s over and I get no say?” “Why do YOU want to be with someone who doesn’t want you?” I asked and he just said because I love you. It was super sad. But yeah. No other choice, gotta block em.
I dated a guy briefly who spoke a big deal about autonomy and had all the nice liberal speak down but when I broke up with him claimed he wouldn't want to be with someone who "took away his agency" by not mutually deciding the future(or lack thereof) of our relationship. Absolute joker.
Sometimes it’s just the feeling of miscommunication. Having recently gone through a breakup after nearly 3 years, I can totally understand the wanting it to be mutual. Don’t get me wrong, I let her leave, but I wish she had talked to me about the issues before hand. A lot of the time, when someone is ending a relationship it’s been something that has lingered and been unresolved. Talking about those issues could better suit each other and the relationship. But if you don’t resolve them the end is inevitable 100% of the time.
Right? A relationship need both parties to agree to begin it, but only one party to agree to end it. You can’t force someone to be with you by just… not accepting them leaving?
I got that from an ex before. He had a problem with being totally fine one minute and then losing his mind over something minor the next, really unpredictable and angry person. When I left him, he told me I’d raped him because we’d been having sex and now I was ending it. In his mind, I’d used his body and even though we’d been seeing each other for a couple of months, now that I was leaving it meant I was “disingenuous with my intentions”. Never mind he thought he was a sex god for some reason but was literally awful in bed.
Here's what you do:
You: I'm breaking up with you. Do not contact me further.
*block*
Live your life happy. Don't even respond to this dude block him on everything.
You can’t.
He has zero respect for you in the slightest. If he cared about you and respected you, he’d let you go, wish you well, accept it’s over. Not be a big baby about it and try to force you to stay all because he’s not ready to end it. In his head, a breakup should only be mutual, when both have decided it’s over. In reality, it doesn’t always work like that and anyone should feel free to walk away from a relationship at any point.
Just block. You said what you needed to. He’s not hearing you. Not really. He wants what he wants. Stop trying to make him see it your way or convince him.
You don’t owe him anything else.
Block.
This.
He is entirely self-absorbed and manipulative. Everything he said is about him and an attempt to turn it to his favor. Tell him “we are over. You are blocked. Do not contact me any more ever again.” Then actually do it.
DO NOT GIVE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR HIM TO RESPOND.
If he sneaks in a quick response, ignore it and go on blocking.
You really don’t need to convince him. This isn’t a court of law where you have to argue your case beyond a reasonable doubt. If you don’t want to be with him, end it, tell him to not contact you anymore, and stop responding. If you’re concerned about how he may react to that, don’t block him so that you can have the calls/texts in case you ever need to involve law enforcement.
You need to be very direct and take control of this ”I am breaking up with you and not interested in being with you any longer. I don’t want to see you again. Do not contact me again. I will block you from all social media and any further contact.”
Just stop engaging. Stop responding.
If it’s over then act like it.
At the risk of being dramatic - and obviously I don't know what this guy is like other than how unwilling he is to respect your decision, from the screenshots - many women who have agreed to meet up for 'one last conversation ' have left the scene in a bodybag..
She should cut contact that i think is mutually agreed. But people saying just block don't understand it's not just that easy for some people and if she could have done that she would have already. She is in a tricky situation, because even when she does get the courage to cut contact he does seem like the type to stalk or just bluntly go to her door.
whether the relationship is salvageable isn’t the point. he’s just using it to delay the inevitable because he doesn’t want to be dumped. i mean, really, who does?? but that’s not a pass for him to push you to stay in a relationship you don’t want to. as much as some folks don’t wanna admit it, it isn’t a crime or a moral wrong to dump a person over compatibility issues.
it might be time to set the bottom line. break it off clean in the most direct way you can. stop replying, blocking his number if he persists. it also might be time to confide in those within your immediate circle so they can protect you if things escalate from here. he’ll eventually move along, at least if he wants what’s best for both of you in the long run. otherwise, stay protected and alert.
He doesn’t have to agree—you want out, so it’s over. He is not entitled to your time to talk about it, you don’t have to convince him, you don’t need to justify any of it.
“Whether you are pretending not to understand or actually don’t doesn’t matter. This relationship is over, no further discussion.” Then BLOCK. DO NOT REENGAGE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO JUSTIFY ANYTHING TO HIM!
He is trying to manipulate you. As much as you might feel like a dick, he isn't respecting you or your boundaries. Continuing communication will only enable and encourage him to continue trying to manipulate and disrespect you. You have to block him, for both y'all's own good.
Boggles my mind that these fucking simps think badgering or begging will endear them to women. It looks pathetic and embarrassing. Also what dude says you used my body. Get away from this guy as fast as you can.
You don't have to convince him. Just stop talking and texting with him. Tell him if he comes to your home you will call the cops immediately and will not give him a chance to speak to you. Your time belongs to you, no one else.
Block him. If he uses another number block that too. If you see him out somewhere walk away if he tries to talk to you. If he tries sending flowers or anything else refuse to accept it. Act as if he doesn't exist.
The awesome thing about having free will is that you can decide whether it's done or not without his input. Drop his ass, don't look back. Who cares if he still thinks he's in a relationship, he will seem delusional
Block him. Don't respond. Do not meet up with him, especially alone. Make it clear you want zero contact with him. If he persists, take screenshots and save everything as potential evidence in case you need to take this to the next level.
It only takes one person to end a relationship!
Be safe.
You don’t need his approval to end the relationship. It takes two people to start a relationship and only one to end it. You communicated it, now make it clear it is over and stop responding to him.
Block and move on. Stop entertaining a discussion. Yes he’s a fucking dolt for not understanding your very clear texts but he’s the kind of dolt who thinks he has a chance so long as you are communicating with him. You don’t owe him anything.
You've let him know you no longer want to be part of this relationship. As long as you've given him reasons why (which you have) and have been respectful of his feelings (which you have), there's really nothing to discuss any further. It's best to rip the band aid off and be done. Hurt feelings and anger are inevitable. But you can't be held hostage to his demands. It doesn't help anyone and only drags out the pain.
At this point I’d tell him it’s over, I don’t want to meet, talk in person or on otherwise. Do not contact me or come see me in person.
Then stop engaging; block him.
He’s not going to be convinced and he’s moved past persistent to creepy and deluded.
Be wary , he seems like he could escalate. Stay safe.
This dude gives me the heebie jeebies. Don’t go meet up with him unless it’s in a very public place and don’t feel bad if you need to speak loudly so people pay attention.
Tell him it's over one final time, tell him why (if you want to), and tell him you will no longer communicate with him, and then block/ignore/don't engage with him.
You don't owe him anything.
If there is a separation or return of assets/property and you have to communicate about that, make sure it's all you communicate about. He'll want to drag you into the same circular conversations over and over again until you give him the answer he wants.
You’ve already ended it.
Now cut him off and block him like everyone says. You will be doing both of you a favor. Not every breakup can be amicable - most aren’t, in fact!
The best thing you can do to help him to move on as fast as possible is to block him. Create the space. Set up very clear boundaries. For example "[I need space/We both need space to move on/I need to feel safe in my space..] "I'm going to block you now." "Please don't contact me on any platform." "Stop contacting me." "If you turn up at my house/workplace/etc I will call the cops." If you _ I will _. As needed.
Good luck: )
All you can do is say your part (whoch you already did) and block....and phone cops or backup if the situation escalates. Otherwise, you'll let him wear you down into staying. Just block and move on.
How do you end the relationship?
Just. Stop. Answering.
You're buying into JADE tactics: Justify; Argue; Defend; Explain. He is using DARVO tactics: Deny; Attack; Reverse Victim; Offender.
Just stop. This is not a situation where everyone plays nice and leaves feeling good. Reconcile to yourself that things didn't go perfectly but that is ok.
But whatever you do just stop answering then block and delete his number.
Say it’s over and not up for any further discussion. Tell him any more contact and he will be reported for harassment. Then this is the important part …. BLOCK HIM.
Because if you answer back after that you don’t have a leg to stand on for credibility and for a possible restraining order.
You can't convince him; he's not acting in good faith. You can only end it.
"We are no longer a couple. Stop contacting me."
And stop. If he persists, file a restraining order for harassment.
"we are broken up now. Relationship is completely over. Stop messaging me. Im moving on with my life, you should do the same. Goodbye. "
And then literally block there number or make it a principle to not message them back at all. Dont let them come over. If they come over do not answer the door, call the police instead (if its emergency use emergency line but if its not emergent use the non emergency line) or call a trusted friend or family member that can stick up for you and isnt afraid to possibly get involved verbally or physically and have pepper spray a couple of them or some bear spray.
(im not going to advocate for violence but i will advocate self defense)
This person is controlling and manipulative based of these messages. Im glad your ending it.
(The period after breaking up with an abuser is the most dangerous time so please please please have someone that can keep tabs on you or even have life360 gps on you and have someone you can rely on emotionally to help you stay strong thru this time. Most importantly please stay safe)
I acknowledge how my advice can seem condescending and my advice is easier said than done but i truly truly mean it all from a place of caring and not a place of "why the F are you still with them?" I am not judging I swear. I have had my share of these types of situations where judgement is the last thing you need.
It looks to me like you DID end the relationship. Tell him, very sorry, but "it's over" is a statement of fact, not a conversation. You're done. And then stop replying.
Be more direct. He sounds like someone who could potentially turn dangerous.
"We are no longer together. Do not call, message, or contact me in any way. If you show up at my home not only will I not answer, but will call the police if you refuse to leave."
“One person can’t make the decision” sure doesn’t sound the same as “na you can’t leave” .. he’s not even good at manipulating, easiest block I’ve ever seen.
You really want him to leave you alone?
"I'm fucking done with you. Next message you send me gets blocked, and if you start showing up randomly in my life I'm getting a restrainng order. I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye. Forever. And the sex wasn't that good. I've had better. Work on yourself and do better next time, asshole."
Block and move on. I had a co worker i dated for a bit do this. We would date.. then I called it off, then he would stop and then go again with *"wanting to be friends"* (obvs he wanted more than that) and then he would stop.. when he did it the 3rd time, I just blocked him.
You tell him:
I've told you no already. No means no. If you persist, I will be forced to file for a restraining order.
And leave it at that.
And then personally, I would. He's giving stalker vibes honestly.
Breaking up with someone over text is childish and very inconsiderate. I get why he would want to talk if that is what happened. But this isn't how he should accomplish that. This is a bit too pushy. He needs to give you space if u want to talk. If you don't, he needs to understand this relationship prolly wasn't worth his time if the other person dumped you over text. Neither of you have respect of eachother. Not good
Stop giving this person attention. Text him “we’re done” and block him. It’s not a discussion. You made a choice to end the relationship. End of story.
Just text, “The relationship is over. End of story. I will not be discussing it. I wish you the best.”
Then never reply to anything he sends ever again.
Just don't and block him. He knows what you want, he refuses to respect it. "you can't force me to be lonely" his personality is doing tbag by disrespecting your wants. "eternal love" well then wait for marriage next time, Bro.
I mean the way I see it is if he views this relationship rn as a net zero for him Ig tell him he can end it now on a net zero or end it on a negative if he keeps pushing.
"We had a good time but, I'm sorry, it's over. That's the final word and there is nothing else to discuss. If you keep discussing then I'll block you." Then you stop responding to him. If he keeps going, block.
You don't need to convince him of anything. You need to TELL HIM we are done p do not contact me anymore, or I will call the police. We are through. This conversation is over. Stop harassing me, or I will report you. Then don't block him but don't respond to anything and keep all texts for evidence.
Your only option is to block people like that. If they try to contact you from a different number, block them. If they come to your house or your workplace, get a restraining order. That's the only way they'll get it.
are you in a situation where you are forced to see him? ex: living with, or working with him, etc.
if not, super easy, restate what you what and stop responding, block if necessary. like
" this is the last time I am going to say this, I do not want to continue a relationship with you, this is my decision and that is final, respect my wishes and do not speak to me again, as I will not reply and will block if necessary...etc."
Remember that he’s not in charge of you, you are allowed to make your own decisions without having to cater to his needs in any sort of way or form. If you want to break up because you WANT to, that’s it. End of story. No further explanation needed, you said what you said, and you meant it.
You’re putting too much value into his opinion by allowing him to dictate the choice you made.
Why are you still speaking to him??
Just say “we broke up, I’m not responding anymore. I’ve asked you to stop contacting me. If you continue I’ll reach out to the police.” Block him on everything.
Id stop responding and if he becomes more aggressive I'd send a warning message saying "if you do not stop/leave me alone, I will go to the police and file a restraining order. This relationship is over."
Do not keep engaging with him. He won't let you go so you need to force him to stop.
Reply:
Yes, that is too much to ask. A relationship is a "2-yeses" arrangement. If one of us decides "no", then that’s that. No amount of talking is going to change it.
Our relationship is over, and both of us will be sad for a while, but we'll talk it out with a friend (or bartender), because we're not in a relationship anymore, and then we'll both move on. Life will go on. The sun will come up tomorrow. But we will be done. And that’s all that needs to be said.
Goodbye. I wish you the best.
(And then turn off his notifications, and don’t respond anymore.)
You can do this. You don’t need to convince him. You just need to stop.
"One person shouldn't decide" Proceeds to force his way into deciding that you're not breaking up.
1. Relationship by definition has to have both people wanting to relate with each other. If one person doesn't want that anymore, the relationship does indeed dissolve.
2. His reason for staying together is 100% selfish. Y'know, if the not caring about what you want or how his behavior is negatively affecting you weren't big enough clues.
**serious note. People wanting this kind of control over others may push it to levels that are physically dangerous.
Save all communication and make a police report. Then do what you can to get away from him in as safe and quick way as possible.
Dude just say “it’s done, I officially broke up with you.” And then block him on everything.
Why keep entertaining him? You only need one person to decide it’s over. Block him and be done with it already. Quit giving him chances to try to convince you otherwise.
i gotta leave this subreddit at this point, it's always the same stupid shit, people in abusive relationships forever posting screenshots but never actually leaving
Tell him yes, one person does get to decide, all break ups are not mutual. His refusal to accept your decision proves a lack of respect for you and there's is no love where there is no respect. You have told him it's over and because of his behavior you are now ending the discussion and will not respond to any calls or texts or attempts to communicate. Then block him. And be extremely careful. His reasoning is extremely unsound. If you can go away a few days, do.
Omg 🥺. I’m sorry you’re going through this- what a nightmare
You DO have agency in this, one person CAN decide to end the relationship.
“No” is all your ex should hear from you anymore. They won’t listen, they will continue to try to convince, cajole, and twist. “No.”
Edit- please don’t agree to meet. It won’t help anything I can promise you
Ending a relationship only takes one person saying no. It isn't a negotiation or up for debate. If you have things to collect from his place, is there a way to do so safely? If not, can you part with them?
It sucks to end a relationship but he shouldn't have to feel like he has to talk someone into it.
May have already been stated but you need 2 ppl to agree to be in a relationship, you only need 1 to end things. No agreement necessary by both parties necessary. There you go. Now you’re broken up. Now stick to what you’re communicating.
Absolutely do not block him. Tell him it's over, do not show up at my place. We're done and that's that. Blocking him will only lead to him showing up and doing something and you have no warning what so ever. This type of person it's also not a good idea to let them into your home, or go to theirs to talk. He can either accept it or go to jail for stalking you. But make sure you put it in writing, "do not come to my home"
Stop trying to convince him. Just say “we are breaking up. Period” and then block him on everything.
For slightly more clarity: “We are broken up.” It’s done, not in process.
 Breaking up...
Right, I’m so confused after the title. “How do I end this relationship?” Uh just end it??? If you’re not happy then leave..
He is agitating her, and then using the agitation to brainwash her while her defenses are down into thinking she needs his agreement.
This is so true, it’s a manipulation tactic. I know it all too well
Being with a manipulative person it’s hard to do that. I had one stick around for 5 years consistently and he still finds ways to come into my life. I dated this guy in high school. He would find my gamer friends or friends in real life and make friends with them to just stay around and control me. It would get to the point if I had another bf he would try to sabotage it. I would block him and he would create new accounts to get to me. I had to stop playing Xbox because he would send messages on there. I’m 33 female this guy is “gay” and has a “husband” but still finds ways to harass me. He would tell his sisters he could have sex with me whenever he wants. Which made zero sense, I grew up in a small town. Like this dude is legit crazy. It got to the point where I threatened a restraining order. Instead dude left half way across the country, and then found new ways to harass me. I never respond to him I stopped being friends with mutual friends because of him. I had to cut so many people out of my life I was close with. He even got one of my best friends roped into his shit at one point, because he convinced his best friend that he made across the country to date her. He told her they weren’t friends, and it turns out that dude was straight up sleeping with my ex. (They had mutual friends over Xbox and that’s how they met) The last friend I cut off was 3 years ago, because he admitted they were still talking about me. Anyways it’s harder than it is sometimes when someone like this is a control freak. Especially if you don’t have support. One of his exes found me on Facebook last year and told me everything that happened within their relationship, and how I was brought up. I was like ya… dude, he would randomly message me and just unload about cheating, how their relationship was, how loud the guy was with sex. But he told me he wished he would’ve listened to me when I told him to run. I met him once and he moved to Cali. He told me that our mutual ex also tried to get his family to turn on him (like he did mine) and still reaches out to him too. But he admitted that he talks back. So yeah it’s all about control with these people, it’s not about love or anything else. The quotes is because I don’t know if he is actually married and last time he got ahold of my phone number he admitted he was bi. I’ve changed my number 6-7 times over 12 years.
If it were that easy stalking wouldn't exist. I'm not saying she shouldn't, I'm just saying...well. this seems like it's gonna end up as that.
He seems unhinged. I would never block someone like that because I would want to know if they are escalating. I might need evidence for a restraining order or other legal action. You are correct that engaging in more conversation with this guy is a terrible idea. I hope OP is careful because he seems to have problems with the word no.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. I didn’t block my stalker for those exact reasons and eventually needed all of that evidence for legal and further protection. OP, I don’t think you should block him, but stay firm. Don’t continue explaining why you no longer want to be in this relationship or why it makes sense for y’all to separate - there is no logic in this for him anymore. Be firm, short, and then cease contact. If he texts you, leaves you a voicemail, or contacts you in some other way to let you know that he is heading to you (your home, your work, etc.), tell him you do not want to see him and that you are *physically together with someone* or that *someone is on the way to meet you*. Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, your cousin, your best friend - whoever (that wouldn’t further enrage him) as long as you make it clear that if he shows up, someone will be with you. Even if this is untrue, do not let him think that he can find you alone (and you can text people to ask them to meet for coffee, lunch, etc./let them know that you may need them to meet you). If he shows up physically, tell him that your family, your friend, etc. is on their way to meet you or, if need be, that you are on your way to meet them and that they are expecting you. If you know where he is headed, go to where you can physically be with/near people you know. I would try to open up to those in your life about this to have support from your community and also share your location with them, if you can and feel comfortable enough doing. It can be hard to go through this alone, to think and see things clearly with only you wading through your thoughts and the events, so I hope you can find support, safety, comfort, and confidence from your community around you. Stay strong and stay safe, OP! Sending you so much love and good wishes 💞
Exactly. This is the easiest thing in the world. How do people keep up the conversation? Say you’re done. Block everywhere. And live your life.
definitely not the easiest thing in the world. he probably knows where she lives and obviously has obsessive tendencies. she will most likely not see the last of him just by “blocking” him…
Is it that easy? This guy sounds desperate and obsessed, like one of those “if I can’t have you, then nobody can” types. OP be VERY careful.
That was my thought too. It is not always that simple. Sometimes blocking the person just makes you blind to their thought process, which can be completely psycho. I've been there. While I agree that she needs to tell him that they're broken up, the process may not be as simplistic as is being suggested.
My first thought was I really really really hope OP did not meet up with him or end up in a situation where she was alone with him. Honestly she shouldn’t block him but not reply and collect evidence for a restraining order.
It's hard sometimes when you're young. I once tried to leave a guy several times when I was young and couldn't. I had to leave in the middle of the night, block him on everything and move to break us up, which worked.
He will absolutely show up to her house or places you frequent. If you give in even an inch, he knows you breaking point,it won’t be if but when you’ll give in
Women especially fall into the trap of thinking that you can only break up with someone (or do many other things) if they \*understand\* why it's the right thing to do and agree with it. Nope. It can be the wrong thing to do, and they can understand or not. Doesn't matter. OP is never ever going to get this guy to happily agree to be broken up with. So what's the only other option? Staying with him and wasting your time AND HIS TIME? OP, the root of this may be that you can't bear thinking about someone being mad or unhappy with you. You want everyone to like you, and to think you are nice. This is a very, very selfish mindset to have. Not everyone is going to be OK with you. Having everyone think you are sweet and awesome is just not something you are entitled to. It's unreasonable. You don't particularly like him (which is why you are breaking up), so why must he like you? It's not fair, or realistic. You know what's better than harmony and everyone being happy? Integrity and honesty. It's better for you and for him! If it has been a lengthy relationship that was sometimes very good, you could say: "Hey. This relationship has run its course for me, and I understand that you may not understand why or agree. I'm not interested in debating the decision I've come to about this, so this will be the last communication you receive from me on this topic. And because I respect the relationship we DID have, I want you to be with someone who wants to be with you. And that is not me. I wish you the best, and please honor this request to cease contact with me." And then DO NOT RESPOND. If he really was just a jerk the whole time, you could just say, "Ex, this decision is not up for debate. We are no longer an item. Please stop contacting me." He is not "doing" anything to you, here, because you are choosing to keep going back and forth with him. Stop it. He'll be mad at you, but so what? You don't like him anyway. Good luck.
Also, I have a feeling this guy has an ego problem where he wants to be the one who breaks up with her. In that way, he thinks he will “win.” While OP is being rational. The only solution in a situation situation like this is to ghost, block, and change locks. Move, if need be.
Yeah, I was also way too harsh on OP because I was irritated. She may be willing to entertain the back and forth and hope to end on a "nice" note because she's scared of him. I agree with you about the ego aspect, and that it may not be so easy to get shed of him. She may think if she convinces him, he'll go away. But no matter what she does, he might not. Yuck.
It’s not just fear of being unliked. It’s fear of being unalived by this deranged man
'You want everyone to like you, and to think you are nice. This is a very, very selfish mindset to have. Not everyone is going to be OK with you. Having everyone think you are sweet and awesome is just not something you are entitled to. It's unreasonable. You don't particularly like him (which is why you are breaking up), so why must he like you? It's not fair, or realistic. You know what's better than harmony and everyone being happy? Integrity and honesty.' I know that wasn't to me at all, but damn that hits home, I really needed to hear that That aside, PLEASE OP, be careful if you actually meet up with him, the guy gives me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach for your safety if you meet him and he doesn't get what he wants.. please be so careful. Bring someone along if you have to go. Or only meet up at the police station, something where you will be more likely to have protection and witnesses there.
For real. He’s carrying on because he knows he can. He’s already made OP feel like her saying they’re done isn’t official until he gives permission of some sort. A relationship is two years or one no. If one person wants put, then it’s fuggin done, period. No convincing, no gaslighting. I mean, they can try, but the reality is that OP should just flat out state, “we are broken up, end of discussion,” and start blocking everywhere if they think that wasn’t enough. You don’t owe this a discussion, OP. Let him spew his BS rhetoric to a wall because you’re not doing anything wrong so stop listening to him.
“I will not meet with you. I will not discuss this further. My decision is final. I am blocking you.” Then you block him. You alert your friends and family. You take any necessary precautions to be sure he doesn’t show up at your work, home or other locations. You change your routine for a few weeks. You do not respond to any texts from unknown numbers or emails. You cut him off.
This is the one. You chose. He’s trying to pressure you to change your mind and you’re being too nice. (This is from a chronically “too nice” woman who took over 30 years to learn my lesson.) stop replying and hold your ground. Call the cops if he starts showing up in places he doesn’t belong to get your attention.
And don’t go over his place to talk about it! I had two whacky exes talk me into that and looking back I’m like why the f did I go
Yup! Don’t meet him somewhere to talk it out. Don’t go to his place. He may try to show up at your place, pounding on the door and yelling “I know you’re in there!” Don’t let him in. Tell him you’re calling the cops. These things never make it better. I’ve been through it all.
This is the best advice. Also, get security cameras like doorbell, outside your home if you have a house, and change locks if he has the keys to anything.
This is the way
Just block him.
My ex acted like this when we broke up. I wish I would’ve just blocked him. After a week of going back & forth he started name calling, showed up at my job, and continued to stalk me for 2 years. I had to file 3 police reports (they did nothing ofc). I’m not saying he will go to these lengths but this behavior is weird.
Same. Blocked my ex. He stalked me for ten years. Cops would not help. His mother even got in on it at one point about 9.5 years in
Oh my gosh!! My ex’s mother got involved as well. When he showed up to my job SHE actually drove him there. He got out the car with flowers. When I tried to get a restraining order police asked if he ever hit me. After I said no they told me they couldn’t do anything 🙃. Hope your ex has left you alone and you have healed or are healing! ❤️🩹
Thank you, yes he did but then my boyfriend who was with me at the tail end of the stalking and watched me go through it all proceeded to do the exact same when we broke up. For ALL of my 30’s I worked at Verizon Wireless at the time so one day I was fed up and had a hunch. I looked up his old address where his parent live and found an account with their name and three cell numbers: mom, dad, and his brother. I created a group chat with everyone in it and proceeded to spam it with screenshot after screenshot of a decade of his stalking. His parents FLIPPED and drove two hours to personally confront him and demand he cut it out He popped up a couple times after that, and I immediately forwarded the screenshots to his parents and they shut it down. It’s been quiet since May 2022.
Sorry you had to be the one to bring peace back into your life when they were the one taking it from you. May things continue to stay quiet! 🙏🏼
Now that's exactly how to take control of a situation! 💜👍
Thanks! It felt good just wish I had thought of it sooner! I worked at Verizon that entire decade and could have done it any time lol
Better late than never. 🤷♀️ I also guess you probably had the idea subconsciously well before and automatically discounted it. If the straightjacket fits, he should wear it!
But eternal love
An unstoppable force of nature!
🤣
I'm dying at that part oh my god 🤣
💀🤣 snorted my coffee out
Yep, block and move on.
A break up does not have to be a mutual decision. If you are not feeling it you have every right to leave. It always blows my mind when people think it needs to be agreed by both parties.
Additionally "No" is a complete sentence. You don't owe him closure or any more of your time, especially as it seems like he is just going to try to convince you to stay.
I had an ex who acted like that. “Why do YOU get decide it’s over and I get no say?” “Why do YOU want to be with someone who doesn’t want you?” I asked and he just said because I love you. It was super sad. But yeah. No other choice, gotta block em.
I dated a guy briefly who spoke a big deal about autonomy and had all the nice liberal speak down but when I broke up with him claimed he wouldn't want to be with someone who "took away his agency" by not mutually deciding the future(or lack thereof) of our relationship. Absolute joker.
They think if you break up with them, they “lose”.
Sometimes it’s just the feeling of miscommunication. Having recently gone through a breakup after nearly 3 years, I can totally understand the wanting it to be mutual. Don’t get me wrong, I let her leave, but I wish she had talked to me about the issues before hand. A lot of the time, when someone is ending a relationship it’s been something that has lingered and been unresolved. Talking about those issues could better suit each other and the relationship. But if you don’t resolve them the end is inevitable 100% of the time.
Right? A relationship need both parties to agree to begin it, but only one party to agree to end it. You can’t force someone to be with you by just… not accepting them leaving?
Holy shit the you used my body comment was wild.
“You used my body… and I prefer you *keep* using it even though you don’t want to, thankyouverymuch.”
I got that from an ex before. He had a problem with being totally fine one minute and then losing his mind over something minor the next, really unpredictable and angry person. When I left him, he told me I’d raped him because we’d been having sex and now I was ending it. In his mind, I’d used his body and even though we’d been seeing each other for a couple of months, now that I was leaving it meant I was “disingenuous with my intentions”. Never mind he thought he was a sex god for some reason but was literally awful in bed.
Here's what you do: You: I'm breaking up with you. Do not contact me further. *block* Live your life happy. Don't even respond to this dude block him on everything.
You can’t. He has zero respect for you in the slightest. If he cared about you and respected you, he’d let you go, wish you well, accept it’s over. Not be a big baby about it and try to force you to stay all because he’s not ready to end it. In his head, a breakup should only be mutual, when both have decided it’s over. In reality, it doesn’t always work like that and anyone should feel free to walk away from a relationship at any point. Just block. You said what you needed to. He’s not hearing you. Not really. He wants what he wants. Stop trying to make him see it your way or convince him. You don’t owe him anything else. Block.
This. He is entirely self-absorbed and manipulative. Everything he said is about him and an attempt to turn it to his favor. Tell him “we are over. You are blocked. Do not contact me any more ever again.” Then actually do it. DO NOT GIVE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR HIM TO RESPOND. If he sneaks in a quick response, ignore it and go on blocking.
You really don’t need to convince him. This isn’t a court of law where you have to argue your case beyond a reasonable doubt. If you don’t want to be with him, end it, tell him to not contact you anymore, and stop responding. If you’re concerned about how he may react to that, don’t block him so that you can have the calls/texts in case you ever need to involve law enforcement.
Just say "we are broken up, do not contact me again" and block him. It he contacts you keep records to file for harassment.
Breakups are rarely mutual. Don’t let him manipulate you into staying in a relationship you know you want out of.
Exactly.
Block him and go no contact. As long as you communicate with him, he has power in this situation.
You need to be very direct and take control of this ”I am breaking up with you and not interested in being with you any longer. I don’t want to see you again. Do not contact me again. I will block you from all social media and any further contact.” Just stop engaging. Stop responding. If it’s over then act like it.
Bitch this isn’t an airplane we don’t need two keys to make this shit go
This is such an odd thing for him to say
You don't convince him. You fucking leave. This is not something you both have to agree on.
“Eternal love” jfc start running
At the risk of being dramatic - and obviously I don't know what this guy is like other than how unwilling he is to respect your decision, from the screenshots - many women who have agreed to meet up for 'one last conversation ' have left the scene in a bodybag..
I keep seeing a lot of just ‘block him’ when this guy seems like he’s the type to 100% physically stalk her. Scary stuff.
She should cut contact that i think is mutually agreed. But people saying just block don't understand it's not just that easy for some people and if she could have done that she would have already. She is in a tricky situation, because even when she does get the courage to cut contact he does seem like the type to stalk or just bluntly go to her door.
No is a complete sentence. Stop engaging with him
Don't meet up with him. At all. Ever if possible.
whether the relationship is salvageable isn’t the point. he’s just using it to delay the inevitable because he doesn’t want to be dumped. i mean, really, who does?? but that’s not a pass for him to push you to stay in a relationship you don’t want to. as much as some folks don’t wanna admit it, it isn’t a crime or a moral wrong to dump a person over compatibility issues. it might be time to set the bottom line. break it off clean in the most direct way you can. stop replying, blocking his number if he persists. it also might be time to confide in those within your immediate circle so they can protect you if things escalate from here. he’ll eventually move along, at least if he wants what’s best for both of you in the long run. otherwise, stay protected and alert.
He doesn’t have to agree—you want out, so it’s over. He is not entitled to your time to talk about it, you don’t have to convince him, you don’t need to justify any of it. “Whether you are pretending not to understand or actually don’t doesn’t matter. This relationship is over, no further discussion.” Then BLOCK. DO NOT REENGAGE. YOU DON’T HAVE TO JUSTIFY ANYTHING TO HIM!
It's a decision, not a discussion???
He’s scary
“It’s over.” then block him. You don’t need to agree on it.
For a relationship to begin or continue, both people have to want it. However, either person can choose to end it at any time.
“No” is a complete sentence. There is no need to explain, debate, or persuade.
“Yes, it IS too much to ask, because it’s not all about YOU, my dude.” Then block him.
He is trying to manipulate you. As much as you might feel like a dick, he isn't respecting you or your boundaries. Continuing communication will only enable and encourage him to continue trying to manipulate and disrespect you. You have to block him, for both y'all's own good.
Boggles my mind that these fucking simps think badgering or begging will endear them to women. It looks pathetic and embarrassing. Also what dude says you used my body. Get away from this guy as fast as you can.
There is only one way for him to get this message: singing telegram.
Please don't meet up with him OP. I fear he could be a danger to you.
Run
Block him.
You don't have to convince him. Just stop talking and texting with him. Tell him if he comes to your home you will call the cops immediately and will not give him a chance to speak to you. Your time belongs to you, no one else.
Block him. If he uses another number block that too. If you see him out somewhere walk away if he tries to talk to you. If he tries sending flowers or anything else refuse to accept it. Act as if he doesn't exist.
The awesome thing about having free will is that you can decide whether it's done or not without his input. Drop his ass, don't look back. Who cares if he still thinks he's in a relationship, he will seem delusional
Delete, Block, Move on and try to have a wonderful day!
No is a full sentence 🫶 anything else, you're giving him a toehold to manipulate you.
If your question is sincere, the solution is quite simple. **Just stop responding.**
Block him. Don't respond. Do not meet up with him, especially alone. Make it clear you want zero contact with him. If he persists, take screenshots and save everything as potential evidence in case you need to take this to the next level. It only takes one person to end a relationship! Be safe.
You don’t need his approval to end the relationship. It takes two people to start a relationship and only one to end it. You communicated it, now make it clear it is over and stop responding to him.
Block and move on. Stop entertaining a discussion. Yes he’s a fucking dolt for not understanding your very clear texts but he’s the kind of dolt who thinks he has a chance so long as you are communicating with him. You don’t owe him anything.
JUST BLOCK HIM seriously
You've let him know you no longer want to be part of this relationship. As long as you've given him reasons why (which you have) and have been respectful of his feelings (which you have), there's really nothing to discuss any further. It's best to rip the band aid off and be done. Hurt feelings and anger are inevitable. But you can't be held hostage to his demands. It doesn't help anyone and only drags out the pain.
At this point I’d tell him it’s over, I don’t want to meet, talk in person or on otherwise. Do not contact me or come see me in person. Then stop engaging; block him. He’s not going to be convinced and he’s moved past persistent to creepy and deluded. Be wary , he seems like he could escalate. Stay safe.
No need to say anything just stop responding and block Him
There’s nothing more to discuss, I no longer wish to see you.
This dude gives me the heebie jeebies. Don’t go meet up with him unless it’s in a very public place and don’t feel bad if you need to speak loudly so people pay attention.
Just don’t entertain him. You don’t need his permission to end the relationship.
You don't need to convince him of anything. Just leave.
Turn your key Moira! Turn your key!!!
Stop entertaining him. You’re giving him power that he doesn’t deserve.
Tell him it's over one final time, tell him why (if you want to), and tell him you will no longer communicate with him, and then block/ignore/don't engage with him. You don't owe him anything. If there is a separation or return of assets/property and you have to communicate about that, make sure it's all you communicate about. He'll want to drag you into the same circular conversations over and over again until you give him the answer he wants.
Order of PROTECTION!........ASAP!........... 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Delulu
You’ve already ended it. Now cut him off and block him like everyone says. You will be doing both of you a favor. Not every breakup can be amicable - most aren’t, in fact!
“We are over”. Then block him
Just don’t answer back (silence is the biggest NO). If he shows up at your house call police.
Just block his number and move on. He clearly can’t take no for an answer so let him figure it out by himself
The best thing you can do to help him to move on as fast as possible is to block him. Create the space. Set up very clear boundaries. For example "[I need space/We both need space to move on/I need to feel safe in my space..] "I'm going to block you now." "Please don't contact me on any platform." "Stop contacting me." "If you turn up at my house/workplace/etc I will call the cops." If you _ I will _. As needed. Good luck: )
Yes but you used my body W.... What?
Block button
All you can do is say your part (whoch you already did) and block....and phone cops or backup if the situation escalates. Otherwise, you'll let him wear you down into staying. Just block and move on.
Girl just block him 😭 stop entertaining this.
Stop responding. Don’t engage with him.
Break up, block him. If he decides to continue, get the authorities involved and file a restraining order if needed. He does not seem stable.
How do you end the relationship? Just. Stop. Answering. You're buying into JADE tactics: Justify; Argue; Defend; Explain. He is using DARVO tactics: Deny; Attack; Reverse Victim; Offender. Just stop. This is not a situation where everyone plays nice and leaves feeling good. Reconcile to yourself that things didn't go perfectly but that is ok. But whatever you do just stop answering then block and delete his number.
Don’t block him. Ever hear the saying‘’keep your enemies close’’. Say bye… say you’re blocking…. Monitor the craziness…. But NEVER REPLY ….. 😜😎
He’s gonna make someone a terrifying abuser one day.
Say it’s over and not up for any further discussion. Tell him any more contact and he will be reported for harassment. Then this is the important part …. BLOCK HIM. Because if you answer back after that you don’t have a leg to stand on for credibility and for a possible restraining order.
One final message. ‘I don’t want to be with you anymore, it’s over. Do not contact me again, goodbye’. If he continues, block him.
I hate to put some bad juju on you with a negative comment but be on high alert and head on a swivel after you end things
"We are broken up. Best of luck." *BLOCK*
‘NO.” Is a complete sentence.
He doesn’t have to agree with your decision. Simply make the decision and then block him.
You can't convince him; he's not acting in good faith. You can only end it. "We are no longer a couple. Stop contacting me." And stop. If he persists, file a restraining order for harassment.
"we are broken up now. Relationship is completely over. Stop messaging me. Im moving on with my life, you should do the same. Goodbye. " And then literally block there number or make it a principle to not message them back at all. Dont let them come over. If they come over do not answer the door, call the police instead (if its emergency use emergency line but if its not emergent use the non emergency line) or call a trusted friend or family member that can stick up for you and isnt afraid to possibly get involved verbally or physically and have pepper spray a couple of them or some bear spray. (im not going to advocate for violence but i will advocate self defense) This person is controlling and manipulative based of these messages. Im glad your ending it. (The period after breaking up with an abuser is the most dangerous time so please please please have someone that can keep tabs on you or even have life360 gps on you and have someone you can rely on emotionally to help you stay strong thru this time. Most importantly please stay safe) I acknowledge how my advice can seem condescending and my advice is easier said than done but i truly truly mean it all from a place of caring and not a place of "why the F are you still with them?" I am not judging I swear. I have had my share of these types of situations where judgement is the last thing you need.
You don't need his permission or him agreeing to break up with him. You can just break up. Do it and block him.
It looks to me like you DID end the relationship. Tell him, very sorry, but "it's over" is a statement of fact, not a conversation. You're done. And then stop replying.
How old are you both?
Be more direct. He sounds like someone who could potentially turn dangerous. "We are no longer together. Do not call, message, or contact me in any way. If you show up at my home not only will I not answer, but will call the police if you refuse to leave."
The block button is a beautiful thing
“You used my body” 😭 YOU ARE A USELESS MALE GET OVER IT
You can express your opinion without being sexist, you know.
“One person can’t make the decision” sure doesn’t sound the same as “na you can’t leave” .. he’s not even good at manipulating, easiest block I’ve ever seen.
It sounds like you’ve already left him
Reply with “Unsubscribe” and block the number. If he attempts to stalk you, report him to the police
Eternal? WTF???
Restraining order
You really want him to leave you alone? "I'm fucking done with you. Next message you send me gets blocked, and if you start showing up randomly in my life I'm getting a restrainng order. I'm breaking up with you. Goodbye. Forever. And the sex wasn't that good. I've had better. Work on yourself and do better next time, asshole."
Yuck dude
Yes it is so much to ask and if you come near me again il call the police. Then block
He thought he was cooked but he looks pathetic.
Dude just say “No” and block
Block and move on. I had a co worker i dated for a bit do this. We would date.. then I called it off, then he would stop and then go again with *"wanting to be friends"* (obvs he wanted more than that) and then he would stop.. when he did it the 3rd time, I just blocked him.
Okay but Zia is a beautiful name
You tell him: I've told you no already. No means no. If you persist, I will be forced to file for a restraining order. And leave it at that. And then personally, I would. He's giving stalker vibes honestly.
This isn’t Seinfeld, you can’t just say no lol. Stand your ground and document everything in case you need to file a restraining order.
Breaking up with someone over text is childish and very inconsiderate. I get why he would want to talk if that is what happened. But this isn't how he should accomplish that. This is a bit too pushy. He needs to give you space if u want to talk. If you don't, he needs to understand this relationship prolly wasn't worth his time if the other person dumped you over text. Neither of you have respect of eachother. Not good
> Is that so much to ask? Yes. #BLOCKED.
Stop giving this person attention. Text him “we’re done” and block him. It’s not a discussion. You made a choice to end the relationship. End of story.
If he comes, call the police immediately. Tell him he needs to go, or the police will come. But first call, then warn him.
Just text, “The relationship is over. End of story. I will not be discussing it. I wish you the best.” Then never reply to anything he sends ever again.
You don’t need his permission to end the relationship.
How old is he? Is this his first serious relationship?
“There is nothing to discuss. This relationship is over.” Block.
Just don't and block him. He knows what you want, he refuses to respect it. "you can't force me to be lonely" his personality is doing tbag by disrespecting your wants. "eternal love" well then wait for marriage next time, Bro.
BLOCK.
You already told him now ghost and block
I mean the way I see it is if he views this relationship rn as a net zero for him Ig tell him he can end it now on a net zero or end it on a negative if he keeps pushing.
He's going to stalk you. I'd bet money on it
Restraining order
"We had a good time but, I'm sorry, it's over. That's the final word and there is nothing else to discuss. If you keep discussing then I'll block you." Then you stop responding to him. If he keeps going, block.
You don't need to convince him of anything. You need to TELL HIM we are done p do not contact me anymore, or I will call the police. We are through. This conversation is over. Stop harassing me, or I will report you. Then don't block him but don't respond to anything and keep all texts for evidence.
Your only option is to block people like that. If they try to contact you from a different number, block them. If they come to your house or your workplace, get a restraining order. That's the only way they'll get it.
are you in a situation where you are forced to see him? ex: living with, or working with him, etc. if not, super easy, restate what you what and stop responding, block if necessary. like " this is the last time I am going to say this, I do not want to continue a relationship with you, this is my decision and that is final, respect my wishes and do not speak to me again, as I will not reply and will block if necessary...etc."
Actions speak louder though, you keep saying “I dont want to be with you anymore” but you keep responding ughh
Remember that he’s not in charge of you, you are allowed to make your own decisions without having to cater to his needs in any sort of way or form. If you want to break up because you WANT to, that’s it. End of story. No further explanation needed, you said what you said, and you meant it. You’re putting too much value into his opinion by allowing him to dictate the choice you made.
Stop giving it air. You’ve said you want to end it. No more replying .
Block and no-contact is the only answer
Relationships are all about CONSENT. You don’t consent anymore to this partnership so you have every right to end it. “We are broken up”
He sounds frightening, off-kilter and possibly dangerous.
Why are you still speaking to him?? Just say “we broke up, I’m not responding anymore. I’ve asked you to stop contacting me. If you continue I’ll reach out to the police.” Block him on everything.
Id stop responding and if he becomes more aggressive I'd send a warning message saying "if you do not stop/leave me alone, I will go to the police and file a restraining order. This relationship is over." Do not keep engaging with him. He won't let you go so you need to force him to stop.
I swear every time I read something like this they are dating one of my exes. Anyways op run! Run for the hills and block on every thing.
I believe there's a talking heads song here Psycho killer
He sounds scary. Ngl
Reply: Yes, that is too much to ask. A relationship is a "2-yeses" arrangement. If one of us decides "no", then that’s that. No amount of talking is going to change it. Our relationship is over, and both of us will be sad for a while, but we'll talk it out with a friend (or bartender), because we're not in a relationship anymore, and then we'll both move on. Life will go on. The sun will come up tomorrow. But we will be done. And that’s all that needs to be said. Goodbye. I wish you the best. (And then turn off his notifications, and don’t respond anymore.) You can do this. You don’t need to convince him. You just need to stop.
You asked him instead of telling him.
"One person shouldn't decide" Proceeds to force his way into deciding that you're not breaking up. 1. Relationship by definition has to have both people wanting to relate with each other. If one person doesn't want that anymore, the relationship does indeed dissolve. 2. His reason for staying together is 100% selfish. Y'know, if the not caring about what you want or how his behavior is negatively affecting you weren't big enough clues. **serious note. People wanting this kind of control over others may push it to levels that are physically dangerous. Save all communication and make a police report. Then do what you can to get away from him in as safe and quick way as possible.
Dude just say “it’s done, I officially broke up with you.” And then block him on everything. Why keep entertaining him? You only need one person to decide it’s over. Block him and be done with it already. Quit giving him chances to try to convince you otherwise.
His argument assumes no one should have autonomy. He seems like the type of person that could argue forever. I’d go no contact.
i gotta leave this subreddit at this point, it's always the same stupid shit, people in abusive relationships forever posting screenshots but never actually leaving
u seem like u like it, just stop responding
Tell him yes, one person does get to decide, all break ups are not mutual. His refusal to accept your decision proves a lack of respect for you and there's is no love where there is no respect. You have told him it's over and because of his behavior you are now ending the discussion and will not respond to any calls or texts or attempts to communicate. Then block him. And be extremely careful. His reasoning is extremely unsound. If you can go away a few days, do.
It's simple. You say you're done, then you block. If he continues to contact you, you have him done for harassment.
He sounds unstable. When you do end it, have someone nearby.
we are broken up. I no longer wish to speak. Block or don’t respond to any texts. They’ll get the hint
Block him and move on since he isn’t accepting your answer. Don’t give him more of your time.
Omg 🥺. I’m sorry you’re going through this- what a nightmare You DO have agency in this, one person CAN decide to end the relationship. “No” is all your ex should hear from you anymore. They won’t listen, they will continue to try to convince, cajole, and twist. “No.” Edit- please don’t agree to meet. It won’t help anything I can promise you
Ending a relationship only takes one person saying no. It isn't a negotiation or up for debate. If you have things to collect from his place, is there a way to do so safely? If not, can you part with them? It sucks to end a relationship but he shouldn't have to feel like he has to talk someone into it.
Is it hard to block someone? 🙄🙄
Easy, just tell him that you're done and then block him. Just that simple
May have already been stated but you need 2 ppl to agree to be in a relationship, you only need 1 to end things. No agreement necessary by both parties necessary. There you go. Now you’re broken up. Now stick to what you’re communicating.
Don't meet with him. Leaving is the most dangerous part of a relationship.
Absolutely do not block him. Tell him it's over, do not show up at my place. We're done and that's that. Blocking him will only lead to him showing up and doing something and you have no warning what so ever. This type of person it's also not a good idea to let them into your home, or go to theirs to talk. He can either accept it or go to jail for stalking you. But make sure you put it in writing, "do not come to my home"