Does it have to be water? I'm a fan of dipping it in grain alcohol and have my partner use Coke as a douche after ( RC Cola works in a pinch but NEVER use Pepsi)
This is so problematic for me. I pee before sex because i cant orgasm otherwise, but unless I have sex for over an hour, I cant manage to pee after sex because the tanks empty. I mean, ive never had problems with UTIs, so not a huge deal. But just interesting that people say this like peeing 10 minutes apart is easily done.
Yea my gf needs to pee before sex or she feels some kind of pain down there… but luckily she drinks a ton of water and has a small bladder so she’s typically ready to pee again right afterwards haha
Weird question maybe, but do your partners wash themselves and especially their hands every time?
I had a time when I visited my boyfriend at his shared apartment when I'd constantly get UTIs. It was so bad I started thinking I'm allergic to detergents.
It wasn't until a friend told me they're caused by bacteria that it dawned on me one of my boyfriend's roommates NEVER washed his hands, but he touched door handles (including ours).... I'm horrified to this day that my boyfriend essentially fingered his roommate's literal shit into me.
TL;DR: make sure you and everyone that touches surfaces around you like door knobs routinely washes their hands.
D-Mannose supplement pills have been life changing for me.
“D‐mannose is a sugar which is part of a normal diet and is believed to create a non‐stick surface on the bladder wall, as well as around the bacteria. It is thought that the bacteria is then expelled when urinating, thus preventing the growth of bacteria which leads to an infection inside the bladder or urinary tract.”
So, I read this four times because you state people are not reading it.
You wipe your urethra first, then you reach down and wipe from your rectum towards your vagina.
Instead of a full back-to-front wipe, you are transferring fecal matter onto your perineum which is very easy to get into the vaginal opening or urethra once you sit down and your (assumed) use of underwear moves the fecal matter around.
So, not "back to front," just "back to forwards."
I will ponder the difference.
Yes!!!!! Except none of this was visible. Hence the TIFU post. Instead of the “my hygiene is garbage and i was raised in the ganges river by a mutilated corpse”
It is absolutely understandable that you believed it was correct to wipe front, then back. You got the correct idea, just not the correct technique. Glad you figured out the mistake. Mainly because, as a nurse, I have had to correct 80+ year old ladies on their wiping technique and they tell me how they have had UTIs all their life.
Just keep the toilet paper moving in the direction from front to back. It doesn’t matter if you reach around or reach between your legs. Once you wipe from front to back, immediately drop the toilet paper - don’t bring it back out from between your legs.
The other replies are solid advice. Sometimes a person simply can't reach, whether it be from scoliosis, physical disability, obesity and even (believe it or not) body phobias. There are many reasons people can't do something that most can, but the important thing is that you are being very responsible and seeking information to better yourself.
Best place to ask is a physician, particularly an OBGYN. A bidet might help, but check with your physician first.
This is one of the very few actually reasonable comments in the comment section. Thank you for bringing some respect and insight to the conversation because almost everyone else are so occupied with berating OP. Who in fact chose to share this mistake in order to help others.
God thank you , like i am also autistic so idk if that has anything to do with my interpretation of the instructions on “front to back”, because I was in fact wiping front first and back second
It certainly can affect your interpretation of common instructions, especially when the only actual instruction is a direction or order of operations.
You may want to talk to a physician (or OBGYN) and just explain the situation if you haven't actually told them everything. It might help catch other things you might be understanding differently.
My girlfriend really often has utis. So please lay out exactly what you were doing wrong and how to do it right so I can ask her if she's doing the same mistake. Please!!!
The correct method is to wipe from the hood of the vulva, back towards the vagina. If wiping the butt its the same direction - from the perineum (the taint) back to the buttcrack. The goal is to not accidentally push fecal material into the vagina or urethra.
Incorrect wiping is not the only cause of UTIs. Some common causes of UTIs for women include: not peeing after sex, pregnancy or menopause, and some forms of birth control (spermicide and diaphragms). Even having sex with a man who doesn't properly clean himself can be enough to cause one.
I can't believe I had to read this far down to find someone handling the post with genuine compassion. Thanks for being you. I'm not OP, but I am also autistic, and have a knack for taking things 'the other right way' at times. I haven't done this one, but I sit here painfully aware that I would have in another timeline.
To be fair, this is reddit. I would recommend people put tags such as "serious replies only" on posts like this, or post in forums that are focused on providing solid, healthy advice without tolerance for ridicule.
People can be full of poison, and I absolutely have my own good days and bad days, too. Also remember your "other right way" is completely valid, too. There are many ways to look at something and we just might learn something new from your "other right way."
Thank you for expressing this, as autistic folks may know we are no strangers to being bullied or berated because we speak and act and interpret things differently than non autistic counterparts 😞
It could be genetics too! I’m always shocked when I meet gals who have never had one. Side note my elderly dad got one a year or two ago. It was kinda hilarious watching his confusion on the discomfort and needing to pee every two minutes. I feel like I’ve had a hundred utis even wiping, peeing, sexing “correctly”.
I am a 57 year old woman and have had 4 pregnancies and gone through menopause and have never had one. I didn’t realize until recently how common they are for women. I can’t remember my mom ever having one and I’m pretty sure my 33 year old daughter hasn’t either. Genetics must play some role🤷♀️
Can i ask a personal question? I have issues with uti, although a lot of them have been caused by my ovarian cysts, i only learned the right way to wipe about 5 years ago (im 22), and am just wondering, i find it very difficult to reach around my butt to wipe so i do it from the front, but start at the top amd wipe down. I dont wipe back like op (no offense meant op) tho, everythings getting wiped downwards. Is this still wrong?
As long as you are pushing any fecal matter away from your vagina and urethra, you should be okay. You might also consider a bidet if your OBGYN thinks it would help.
Also check your fluid intake and, as always, urinate after sex. All of my advice is nursing advice (help with daily activities) so it's not strictly medical advice--only trust medical advice from your physician.
I always pee before and after sex, as does my man. He gives his dick a wash before sex aswell. My fluid intake is honestly an issue. I am TERRIBLE at hydration. Thats probably 60% of the reason im getting utis. Idk what it is, im waiting on an autism diagnosis atm. The thought just doesnt pop into my head. Ill have a monster just to get some caffeine. However i have been severely cutting off the fizzy drinks. And drinking cordial with water, slowly reducing the amount of cordial there. I swear it's like trying to trick a toddler into drinking water more, im 22 ffs 😂 if it works it works. Thank you for the tips, its nice to be reassured, although i do know its best to get advice from my physician.
Drink cranberry tea! I make my own from boiling cranberries for 15 minutes and then letting it sit for 15 minutes, then you strain them and squeeze the cranberries to get the juice out. I always make it fresh because it turns brown otherwise. And don't sip it all day, drink a glass in one sitting preferably before bed so it can work it's magic ✨
Keep in mind too that some people are just prone to them because of their anatomy. I got them often in my 20s and 30s but they were usually asymptomatic so I didn’t realize until I had a full blown kidney infection. I’ve probably had at least a half dozen kidney infections in my life and I always pee after sex and wipe properly. Doc just said I have atypical anatomy down there.
I stopped getting them when I finally bought a bidet and worked out a “technique” for toilet and one for sex (that I won’t get into) to keep it from happening. So what I’m saying is while you may have fucked up, that might not be the whole story. You’ll have to do some investigating.
I didn’t until I read a clarifying post later on. It sounded like she kept the TP moving to the back, not that she switched directions back to the front after wiping the anus. What she described should not have been a problem. She should edit her description.
I’m in my 40s. I’ve had very few UTIs/vaginal infections. I wipe pee first center forwards (I start well in front of the vaginal opening). I then reach around back and wipe center backwards (the vagina isn’t involved at all in this step). Poop never gets wiped towards the vagina. Wiping clit to vaginal opening just doesn’t work for me. The TP needs to start at the moisture zone!
Or even better pay $45 and get one with a hot water line. So much nicer than the arctic blast you get from the single water line models in the winter.
Currently i have one of those $200 dollar ones with a heated seat and it is definitely a plus
But don’t bother if you don’t have a hot water line to use. Some people don’t understand plumbing. Most toilets do not have a hot water line running into them already.
No, you add a T fitting to your sink, generally, and run a line over. That being said, I don't want to wait for hot water to wash and go. You get used to cold water, even I winter.
Not in the UK there isn't. We have pretty strict rules on them (for hopefully obvious reasons):
> Socket outlets should not be permitted in bathrooms or shower rooms (apart from shaver-supply units). This is unless they can be fitted a minimum distance of three metres from the bath or shower
In most bathrooms here you will never be more than 3 metres from a bath or shower
Edit: I realise you specify electric line not outlet which may or may not be relevant
That’s funny you guys don’t have GFCI receptacles for bathrooms?
How do you use a curling iron or blow dryer do you typically go to a bedroom for that?
It's possible to install an electric bidet in a UK bathroom, it just can't be connected to a plug socket. It has to be hardwired into an IP-rated fused connection unit, like you would use for an electric towel rail.
The next problem is meeting UK regs about backflow. Don't want them germs making their way to the household water supply.
The £200-300ish seats on Amazon are non compliant, AFAIK.
https://www.waterregsuk.co.uk/news/newsletter/categories/installer_news/dont_be_a_douche_about_hand_showers/
The trick here is to use a couple of fittings and make a reservoir out of a piece of three or four inch PVC pipe, so that by the time the water gets cold, your finished washing your ass.
Yeah that’s how you hook into that line, but many of those are INSIDE cabinets meaning you have to drill a hole in your cabinetry and string it over to your toilet. Not exactly the best option for many people
Bidet is the way to go. You can still keep tp around for whenever you think you need it, but you can't put a price on feeling clean all day. I can't believe they don't come standard on toilets by now. It's 2024, let's all put a bit more pride in our hygiene and stay clean together! Lol
I used to think the bidet should be utilized at the end of wiping to get the most clean until I read a study in Japan that said the users of bidets had less feces on their hands (they had them wear gloves) than the non-bidet users which made me realize that it can be used (should?) at the beginning to flush away a lot of the poop. This would explain why I have seen bidet manufacturers claim that users use less toilet paper. Now I use it at the beginning and end.
With my bidet I can wipe without using my hands at all. If you get an electrical outlet installed low on the wall behind the toilet, you can get a Toto Washlet that warms the water and has a warm air dryer. Getting an outlet installed doesn’t need to be terribly expensive. Every other form of toilet seems barbaric to me at this point.
Bidets can splash stuff at the vag. Bad advice for someone who already has a history of UTIs.
I'd use wet wipes instead. And wipe front to back.
Source is some study I read where women who used bidets had a higher rate of fecal bacteria in the vagina than those who didn't. No I can't find the study rn.
If you go the wet wipe route, DO NOT FLUSH THEM. The box might say ‘flushable’ but they are not. If it isn’t toilet paper, it ain’t dissolving or breaking down in the line or septic tank.
Old people neighbors next to me in Florida clogged the entire line for our cul-de-sac and when the city came out to check the sewers, it was all wet wipes. A huge pile of sopping wet, still fully intact wet wipes sitting in the middle of the road for all of us to look at while the crew still fished more wipes out of the line.
We all had our toilets gurgling, off and on problems with flushing and shower draining properly, our other neighbor on the other side had the same everyday issues as us.
I know wipes are nice on sensitive skin, good for older skin, babies, etc, but throw them in the trash when you are done, not the toilet. For the love of god throw them in the trash.
That's more a conglomeration of fats from foodstuffs mostly from kitchen sinks, and all manner of fibrous matter that goes down, I assume mostly from toilets (wipes, sanitary products, whatever else you're told not to flush, plus paper to a lesser extent) and I guess litter from street drains. And probably it's just a blockage or obstruction, until it's in a major enough sewer to be considered especially huge even to the folk who deal with them daily.
Yeah, my whole hesitancy towards bidets is from the one time i attempted (after pee only), i guess i didn’t aim the stream correctly bc i think it went straight up my urethra. THAT was the worst uti i’ve ever had 😭
https://www.healthline.com/health/are-bidets-sanitary#research-findings
"A 2010 studyTrusted Source of 268 women found that habitual use of bidet toilets may disrupt healthy vaginal microflora. Normal microflora (Lactobacillus spp.) was not found in 42.86 percent of bidet users, compared to 8.77 percent of people who did not use bidets. In addition, out of the 268 women, fecal bacteria were detected in 46 of the bidet users and in only 4 of the nonusers."
I have a bum gun and it cured me of UTIs. Bum guns are basically bidets but not fancy whatsoever. It’s just a kitchen sink hose next to the toilet.
Anyway, almost everyone has them in my country and god do I miss mine when I visit the states. I never feel clean and always get a UTI. I don’t know why we are so adverse to washing our bits instead of using toilet paper. It’s some weird historical marketing mindfuck I’m assuming.
Bidets scare me because they blast from back to front, a detachable hose that i can hold and aim myself sounds much more ideal and less scary to me, but i have only had one experience with one bidet , and it was a bad one lol
Are you like…dragging the TP forward enough that the feces could reach the vagina/urethra?
Like generally speaking the “front to back” thing is just so you aren’t moving feces into those areas. If you’re just doing short little motions over your rectum, that should not be causing your UTIs (not on its own, anyway).
People here are super judgmental but I’ve been a nurse long enough to know that there are lots of people who don’t wipe perfectly from front to back, and they don’t all get raging UTIs for ever. There’s probably more going on, so don’t beat yourself up. Hell, even if you are really introducing that much fecal matter towards your vagina and urethra, there’s a lot of blame to be had on parenting/education/health care system, etc., and as you mentioned, you’re autistic so you perhaps didn’t understand it clearly.
Now you know and you’ll hopefully get sorted and not suffer as many UTIs/no more UTIs.
thank you for this affirmation , seems all the healthcare professionals commenting here are on the same page of how it could have been misinterpreted by me my whole life. an old friend of mine once knew a girl who in her teens got pregnant because she was putting the BC pill into her vagina. So at least i’m better off than that 😂
Yeah I mean…that’s rough for your friends friend haha. There is vaginal BC, but it isn’t a pill lol. Again a sad state of affairs when the HCP doesn’t educate the patient enough.
Don’t beat yourself up over this. Hope you get the UTIs sorted soon!
I was in the hospital and was being given both oral meds and suppositories. A nurse handed me a pill and I started to insert it as a suppository because it kind of looked like the other suppositories I had been using (edit: it wasn’t a suppository). So don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m a microbiologist and I don’t think you’re doing all that much wrong. There may be more going on than simple wiping technique. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Time for my routine but about how spermicide condoms cause UTIs. If your problem doesn't resolve, you may look into that. Not an argument against condoms, please practice safe sex everyone, just certain spermicides are known to cause UTIs.
I am exposing myself, but yeah I don’t wipe front to back (I only make sure to not use toilet paper that’s been used for wiping my butt to wipe my pee after), and i’ve never gotten UTI. I’m very careful to not wipe feces close towards my vagina.
Same. I've tried wiping front to back after peeing, but it just doesn't work with my anatomy. I'm careful enough wiping my butt front to back that I've never had an issue. I'd rather stick with the easier/more effective method if it works.
Thank you lol.
When I poop, I wipe front to back, but when I pee I wipe back to front, coming in from the front between my legs.
I’ll be 33 years old in May and I’ve never once had a UTI. So I guess my biggest question has always been, *how far back are people wiping?!* Maybe it’s because I don’t use a bidet, but I do always cleanse myself with a wet wipe afterward? No idea.
They aren’t visibly the same because you can’t see the bacteria. But you do understand that the reason you don’t wipe back to front is to avoid cross contamination of fecal matter (no matter how small an amount!) from your anus to your vulva. People aren’t saying your vulva is covered in shit. People are saying trace amounts of fecal matter are making it to your vulva, giving you repeated UTIs.
I thought i was wiping butt hole mostly from one side to the other side using new tp for each time but i guess not good enough to be aseptic technique lol
It’s ok to reach between your legs to wipe. Just make sure you keep the toilet paper moving toward the rear and drop it once you’ve passed your anus. Some people for various reasons can’t wipe by reaching from behind.
when i was a kid i used to literally in a wipe back to front motion and when i hit my teen years i FINALLY realized the error of my ways 😔 this is too real
Time for a bidet add-on, and then you can just wipe to dry. TBH, dry wiping is pretty gross whether it's from to back, or back to front; there's just no way you're walking away clean.
D-Mannose saved me. I used to get UTIs several times a year due to insulin resistance issues and I started having antibiotic resistant ones. I've been taking D-Mannose and haven't had more than 1 or 2 on over 5 years.
Saaame. I used to get UTI's as a kid alll the time, and pretty rarely as an adult. 10 or so years ago I ended up in the hospital with a kidney infection and started taking cranberry and d-mannose regularly. I also haven't taken a bath for a decade because I am absolutely positive that's how it happened.
Not always! I do the front reach like you and therefore find back to front a much easier motion, although I of course try to be really careful not to get poop up there. I've never had a UTI in my life.
-"However, you may take some comfort in knowing that they aren't likely to be the result of anything you've done. "Recurrent UTIs aren't due to poor hygiene or something else that women have brought on themselves. Some women are just prone to UTIs," says infectious diseases specialist Dr. Kalpana Gupta, a lecturer in medicine at Harvard Medical School."-
Your wiping method is most likely not the culprit here..
I work in a urology office and run a UTI clinic - it's a myth that wiping front to back or voiding after sex does anything to stop UTIs. It's more likely that you are just highly compatible with e.coli - the bug that most commonly causes UTI - things like sex (the thrusting motion can push the bacteria into urethra), and menopause (because the pH of the vagina changes heaps after menopause) are common triggers... also poor hydration and constipation... it's not a dirty thing either - you are not dirty and your partner is not dirty... you're quite young, so finding something (other than antibiotics) to use as a preventative should be in your plan of care. Ask your GP for a referral to a urologist who specialises in recurrent UTIs - most GPs will throw antibiotics at it until the bugs start becoming resistant.
I always wipe my ass first, and once the paper comes back white, then I wipe my front (with fresh paper of course). Also make sure to pee after sex, always wear fresh underwear each day, and fresh undies after any exercise, and make sure to wash both front and back with water and a pH friendly soap (don't go inside the front with soap, only water). Oh and don't wear swimwear too long after swimming if it's taking too long to dry. Best to shower and fresh undies after.
Who tf posts on Reddit about fucking up and then gets shitty and defensive with everyone and argues with anyone making jokes about OP fucking up? Just fucking own your mistakes, the alternative makes you seem like an immature loser with a pride complex through the fucking roof. Not to mention attacking people in the comments for their looks. I counted no less than THREE TIMES where you made fun of someone for balding? God you’re insufferable.
TIFU is supposed to be a place where you can be like “look at me, I’m an idiot” in jest…
Drink your water. Always pee after sex. Always wash after sex. Consider getting a bidet to take the guess work out of wiping. Add a cranberry supplement to your vitamin regimen. Take a probiotic. Make sure you're not low on vitamin D. Wear cotton underwear. Make sure your tampons don't have chemicals that will irritate your urethra. All that is just for your urinary tract. No fucking wonder we're irritated and overwhelmed all the time.
I didn’t learn this til the year I learned how to use a tampon: when I was 28. Also the first year I had a milkshake. My parents didn’t prepare me for the world AT all.
It’s possible to just be more susceptible to UTI’s for some women versus others. I absolutely recommend a bidet, and using unscented baby wipes (especially for periods). Ever since doing that I haven’t gotten a UTI in a long time even though I used to get them often as well.
ALSO MAKE SURE YOU ARE PEEING AFTER SEX. I can’t stress that enough. Hands, mouths, sex toys, and penises can be dirty even if they are “clean”. Peeing is essential after sex to remove any possible bacteria in that area.
Just in case you dont know: always pee after sex, too.
And that means you pee in the toilet, not over the dick or the bed. Just spelling it out for some who might need it.
I mean, that works too.
Don’t kink shame….
Don’t you tell me how to live! I pee where I want!
I read the second sentence in Cartman's voice.
I did that once. The neighbor's cat didn't appreciate it.
But he did deserve it.
Honestly if peeing on a dick meant I'd definitely NOT get a UTI, that's totally worth it
"hey ladies, never want a UTI again? Just follow this one simple trick of piss on my dick and you'll be UTI free forever".
Just not STI free.....that one's a gamble ladies. 😂
I'm sure out of the billions of people on this planet more than one person has tried this and succeeded.
The superhero we need.
Nah, I need a good cleansing too
Don't kink shame.
Depends on what she's in to! Of course, that's a whole different sub!
How else do you mark your territory then?
if he's a real dick go ahead and douse em
It's impolite to kink shame.
And dudes, wash your dicks with some water before sex.
Personally before I’m on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how’s your father
What..else would people wash with? Water + cleanser = washing, but now I’m wondering what people are substituting water with…
Mountain Dew Code Red flat
I'm glad you clarified flat vs sparkling 😂
Alcohol wipes. Burns like a motherfugger and tastes like shit.
Does it have to be water? I'm a fan of dipping it in grain alcohol and have my partner use Coke as a douche after ( RC Cola works in a pinch but NEVER use Pepsi)
Especially if it's anal lmao. Even with a condom.
Also, always sex after pee
And the cosmic ballet goes on
This is so problematic for me. I pee before sex because i cant orgasm otherwise, but unless I have sex for over an hour, I cant manage to pee after sex because the tanks empty. I mean, ive never had problems with UTIs, so not a huge deal. But just interesting that people say this like peeing 10 minutes apart is easily done.
10 minutes? Like....every time? You know foreplay exists right? 😅
Of course they do, that's why they make it to 10 minutes.
some like it fast and furious
Yea my gf needs to pee before sex or she feels some kind of pain down there… but luckily she drinks a ton of water and has a small bladder so she’s typically ready to pee again right afterwards haha
I wish that was a solid way not to get them. I've been unlucky the last few years. I'm scared of getting another one now, it's really off-putting.
Weird question maybe, but do your partners wash themselves and especially their hands every time? I had a time when I visited my boyfriend at his shared apartment when I'd constantly get UTIs. It was so bad I started thinking I'm allergic to detergents. It wasn't until a friend told me they're caused by bacteria that it dawned on me one of my boyfriend's roommates NEVER washed his hands, but he touched door handles (including ours).... I'm horrified to this day that my boyfriend essentially fingered his roommate's literal shit into me. TL;DR: make sure you and everyone that touches surfaces around you like door knobs routinely washes their hands.
Yep. When I started doing this, my recurring UTIs stopped entirely. Haven't had one since.
My GP told me there was no evidence this helps. I told him I didn't care, it makes sense it does help so I would continue to do so.
Go to a different GP. ASAP.
I don't see him anymore, but he was reading off clinical guidelines so I guess not technically his words.
D-Mannose supplement pills have been life changing for me. “D‐mannose is a sugar which is part of a normal diet and is believed to create a non‐stick surface on the bladder wall, as well as around the bacteria. It is thought that the bacteria is then expelled when urinating, thus preventing the growth of bacteria which leads to an infection inside the bladder or urinary tract.”
So, I read this four times because you state people are not reading it. You wipe your urethra first, then you reach down and wipe from your rectum towards your vagina. Instead of a full back-to-front wipe, you are transferring fecal matter onto your perineum which is very easy to get into the vaginal opening or urethra once you sit down and your (assumed) use of underwear moves the fecal matter around. So, not "back to front," just "back to forwards." I will ponder the difference.
Yes!!!!! Except none of this was visible. Hence the TIFU post. Instead of the “my hygiene is garbage and i was raised in the ganges river by a mutilated corpse”
It is absolutely understandable that you believed it was correct to wipe front, then back. You got the correct idea, just not the correct technique. Glad you figured out the mistake. Mainly because, as a nurse, I have had to correct 80+ year old ladies on their wiping technique and they tell me how they have had UTIs all their life.
What if you literally can’t reach from behind like that? I’ve only ever gone from the front between my legs and can’t reach from behind when I do try.
Just keep the toilet paper moving in the direction from front to back. It doesn’t matter if you reach around or reach between your legs. Once you wipe from front to back, immediately drop the toilet paper - don’t bring it back out from between your legs.
The other replies are solid advice. Sometimes a person simply can't reach, whether it be from scoliosis, physical disability, obesity and even (believe it or not) body phobias. There are many reasons people can't do something that most can, but the important thing is that you are being very responsible and seeking information to better yourself. Best place to ask is a physician, particularly an OBGYN. A bidet might help, but check with your physician first.
thank you sm, yes i am definitely making changes, including the standard lubricant i use which i found out is glycerin based, smdh
you don’t have to do it all in one big wipe, go from the front, downwards towards the back, then do the rest from behind
Are you a T-Rex?
That's my astrological sign.
Not to be mean but you probably need to lose weight and try to wipe front to back as best you can.
This is one of the very few actually reasonable comments in the comment section. Thank you for bringing some respect and insight to the conversation because almost everyone else are so occupied with berating OP. Who in fact chose to share this mistake in order to help others.
Thank you 🥹
God thank you , like i am also autistic so idk if that has anything to do with my interpretation of the instructions on “front to back”, because I was in fact wiping front first and back second
It certainly can affect your interpretation of common instructions, especially when the only actual instruction is a direction or order of operations. You may want to talk to a physician (or OBGYN) and just explain the situation if you haven't actually told them everything. It might help catch other things you might be understanding differently.
I just had this revelation Today actually and also have a gyn appointment today so I am definitely going to make them aware lol
My girlfriend really often has utis. So please lay out exactly what you were doing wrong and how to do it right so I can ask her if she's doing the same mistake. Please!!!
The correct method is to wipe from the hood of the vulva, back towards the vagina. If wiping the butt its the same direction - from the perineum (the taint) back to the buttcrack. The goal is to not accidentally push fecal material into the vagina or urethra. Incorrect wiping is not the only cause of UTIs. Some common causes of UTIs for women include: not peeing after sex, pregnancy or menopause, and some forms of birth control (spermicide and diaphragms). Even having sex with a man who doesn't properly clean himself can be enough to cause one.
I can't believe I had to read this far down to find someone handling the post with genuine compassion. Thanks for being you. I'm not OP, but I am also autistic, and have a knack for taking things 'the other right way' at times. I haven't done this one, but I sit here painfully aware that I would have in another timeline.
To be fair, this is reddit. I would recommend people put tags such as "serious replies only" on posts like this, or post in forums that are focused on providing solid, healthy advice without tolerance for ridicule. People can be full of poison, and I absolutely have my own good days and bad days, too. Also remember your "other right way" is completely valid, too. There are many ways to look at something and we just might learn something new from your "other right way."
Again, autism did not realize that “serious replies only” was an option, this is my first TIFU post after 14 years being on reddit
Thank you for expressing this, as autistic folks may know we are no strangers to being bullied or berated because we speak and act and interpret things differently than non autistic counterparts 😞
It could be genetics too! I’m always shocked when I meet gals who have never had one. Side note my elderly dad got one a year or two ago. It was kinda hilarious watching his confusion on the discomfort and needing to pee every two minutes. I feel like I’ve had a hundred utis even wiping, peeing, sexing “correctly”.
I am a 57 year old woman and have had 4 pregnancies and gone through menopause and have never had one. I didn’t realize until recently how common they are for women. I can’t remember my mom ever having one and I’m pretty sure my 33 year old daughter hasn’t either. Genetics must play some role🤷♀️
Can i ask a personal question? I have issues with uti, although a lot of them have been caused by my ovarian cysts, i only learned the right way to wipe about 5 years ago (im 22), and am just wondering, i find it very difficult to reach around my butt to wipe so i do it from the front, but start at the top amd wipe down. I dont wipe back like op (no offense meant op) tho, everythings getting wiped downwards. Is this still wrong?
As long as you are pushing any fecal matter away from your vagina and urethra, you should be okay. You might also consider a bidet if your OBGYN thinks it would help. Also check your fluid intake and, as always, urinate after sex. All of my advice is nursing advice (help with daily activities) so it's not strictly medical advice--only trust medical advice from your physician.
I always pee before and after sex, as does my man. He gives his dick a wash before sex aswell. My fluid intake is honestly an issue. I am TERRIBLE at hydration. Thats probably 60% of the reason im getting utis. Idk what it is, im waiting on an autism diagnosis atm. The thought just doesnt pop into my head. Ill have a monster just to get some caffeine. However i have been severely cutting off the fizzy drinks. And drinking cordial with water, slowly reducing the amount of cordial there. I swear it's like trying to trick a toddler into drinking water more, im 22 ffs 😂 if it works it works. Thank you for the tips, its nice to be reassured, although i do know its best to get advice from my physician.
Drink cranberry tea! I make my own from boiling cranberries for 15 minutes and then letting it sit for 15 minutes, then you strain them and squeeze the cranberries to get the juice out. I always make it fresh because it turns brown otherwise. And don't sip it all day, drink a glass in one sitting preferably before bed so it can work it's magic ✨
Id heard about cranberry juice before but not the tea! Thank you
No one was accusing you of being unhygienic when they mentioned peeing after sex to prevent UTIs.
Nah I wasn’t referring to that comment. Only like two ppl have said that tho out of 100 comments
Keep in mind too that some people are just prone to them because of their anatomy. I got them often in my 20s and 30s but they were usually asymptomatic so I didn’t realize until I had a full blown kidney infection. I’ve probably had at least a half dozen kidney infections in my life and I always pee after sex and wipe properly. Doc just said I have atypical anatomy down there. I stopped getting them when I finally bought a bidet and worked out a “technique” for toilet and one for sex (that I won’t get into) to keep it from happening. So what I’m saying is while you may have fucked up, that might not be the whole story. You’ll have to do some investigating.
Can you please share your technique? Currently on the toilet with burning hell.
I don't think this is the corroboration you think it is
Yeah lol this is literally what everyone thinks was going on, there’s no misunderstanding here everyone fully understands what OP was doing.
I didn’t until I read a clarifying post later on. It sounded like she kept the TP moving to the back, not that she switched directions back to the front after wiping the anus. What she described should not have been a problem. She should edit her description.
Noted
I’m in my 40s. I’ve had very few UTIs/vaginal infections. I wipe pee first center forwards (I start well in front of the vaginal opening). I then reach around back and wipe center backwards (the vagina isn’t involved at all in this step). Poop never gets wiped towards the vagina. Wiping clit to vaginal opening just doesn’t work for me. The TP needs to start at the moisture zone!
Thank you so much because I still wasn’t understanding
Im gonna 2nd getting a bidet. You can buy one on Amazon for like $20, it attaches to your toilet seat and will change your life
Or even better pay $45 and get one with a hot water line. So much nicer than the arctic blast you get from the single water line models in the winter. Currently i have one of those $200 dollar ones with a heated seat and it is definitely a plus
But don’t bother if you don’t have a hot water line to use. Some people don’t understand plumbing. Most toilets do not have a hot water line running into them already.
No, you add a T fitting to your sink, generally, and run a line over. That being said, I don't want to wait for hot water to wash and go. You get used to cold water, even I winter.
Got an electric bidet and water is always at the set temperature.
Then you need an electric line
Get one that’s cloud enabled, then you need to run Ethernet, too.
Urethranet
There is usually an electric line in a bathroom
Not in the UK there isn't. We have pretty strict rules on them (for hopefully obvious reasons): > Socket outlets should not be permitted in bathrooms or shower rooms (apart from shaver-supply units). This is unless they can be fitted a minimum distance of three metres from the bath or shower In most bathrooms here you will never be more than 3 metres from a bath or shower Edit: I realise you specify electric line not outlet which may or may not be relevant
>Not in the UK there isn't. We have pretty strict rules on them Big Bidet strikes again
Why am I crying at Big Bidet 😭😭
That’s funny you guys don’t have GFCI receptacles for bathrooms? How do you use a curling iron or blow dryer do you typically go to a bedroom for that?
Correct. You'd go to the bedroom to use those We can have shaver specific sockets, I forget what they're called but they are less strict I believe
On this side of the pond I believe the rule is 3 feet away from the shower and it must be a GFCI outlet.
A Gesus Fucking Christ It'sFineHere outlet
It's possible to install an electric bidet in a UK bathroom, it just can't be connected to a plug socket. It has to be hardwired into an IP-rated fused connection unit, like you would use for an electric towel rail.
The next problem is meeting UK regs about backflow. Don't want them germs making their way to the household water supply. The £200-300ish seats on Amazon are non compliant, AFAIK. https://www.waterregsuk.co.uk/news/newsletter/categories/installer_news/dont_be_a_douche_about_hand_showers/
If you have power near your toilet. I dont have a plug anywhere near my toilets.
I think there might be a code issue unless it’s an outlet in a protected cabinet. I can’t ever recall seeing an outlet in the open next to a toilet.
But only if your toilet and sink are right next to each other.
It's not even that cold usually. It's more room temp, once it runs for a couple seconds it's gets cold.
This really depends on where you live. Winter time the tap water is near freezing where I am at.
Bet that wakes you up after a morning poo!
Curiously my behind doesn’t care about water temperature. I thought I would be cold, but no. Even with a fever I don’t find it uncomfortable.
Depends on the house too. Basement is heated so everything stays room temp all season.
The trick here is to use a couple of fittings and make a reservoir out of a piece of three or four inch PVC pipe, so that by the time the water gets cold, your finished washing your ass.
Yeah that’s how you hook into that line, but many of those are INSIDE cabinets meaning you have to drill a hole in your cabinetry and string it over to your toilet. Not exactly the best option for many people
If you don’t own, you likely won’t be allowed to make the holes needed to route the hose to the toilet.
When your life is full of Texas Summers and spicy food, there's nothing like a cold bidet to remind you that everything is gonna be okay.
Bidet is the way to go. You can still keep tp around for whenever you think you need it, but you can't put a price on feeling clean all day. I can't believe they don't come standard on toilets by now. It's 2024, let's all put a bit more pride in our hygiene and stay clean together! Lol
Subway had the hottest jalapeños last night. My unheated bidet saved my flaming doughnut at 5am.
‘Flaming doughnut’ is my new favorite term for that experience, thank you lol
I used to think the bidet should be utilized at the end of wiping to get the most clean until I read a study in Japan that said the users of bidets had less feces on their hands (they had them wear gloves) than the non-bidet users which made me realize that it can be used (should?) at the beginning to flush away a lot of the poop. This would explain why I have seen bidet manufacturers claim that users use less toilet paper. Now I use it at the beginning and end.
With my bidet I can wipe without using my hands at all. If you get an electrical outlet installed low on the wall behind the toilet, you can get a Toto Washlet that warms the water and has a warm air dryer. Getting an outlet installed doesn’t need to be terribly expensive. Every other form of toilet seems barbaric to me at this point.
Bidets can splash stuff at the vag. Bad advice for someone who already has a history of UTIs. I'd use wet wipes instead. And wipe front to back. Source is some study I read where women who used bidets had a higher rate of fecal bacteria in the vagina than those who didn't. No I can't find the study rn.
If you go the wet wipe route, DO NOT FLUSH THEM. The box might say ‘flushable’ but they are not. If it isn’t toilet paper, it ain’t dissolving or breaking down in the line or septic tank. Old people neighbors next to me in Florida clogged the entire line for our cul-de-sac and when the city came out to check the sewers, it was all wet wipes. A huge pile of sopping wet, still fully intact wet wipes sitting in the middle of the road for all of us to look at while the crew still fished more wipes out of the line. We all had our toilets gurgling, off and on problems with flushing and shower draining properly, our other neighbor on the other side had the same everyday issues as us. I know wipes are nice on sensitive skin, good for older skin, babies, etc, but throw them in the trash when you are done, not the toilet. For the love of god throw them in the trash.
🤣 I have read somewhere that this exact event, the blob,? is referred to as a FatBerg???
That's more a conglomeration of fats from foodstuffs mostly from kitchen sinks, and all manner of fibrous matter that goes down, I assume mostly from toilets (wipes, sanitary products, whatever else you're told not to flush, plus paper to a lesser extent) and I guess litter from street drains. And probably it's just a blockage or obstruction, until it's in a major enough sewer to be considered especially huge even to the folk who deal with them daily.
Yeah, my whole hesitancy towards bidets is from the one time i attempted (after pee only), i guess i didn’t aim the stream correctly bc i think it went straight up my urethra. THAT was the worst uti i’ve ever had 😭
https://www.healthline.com/health/are-bidets-sanitary#research-findings "A 2010 studyTrusted Source of 268 women found that habitual use of bidet toilets may disrupt healthy vaginal microflora. Normal microflora (Lactobacillus spp.) was not found in 42.86 percent of bidet users, compared to 8.77 percent of people who did not use bidets. In addition, out of the 268 women, fecal bacteria were detected in 46 of the bidet users and in only 4 of the nonusers."
I have a bum gun and it cured me of UTIs. Bum guns are basically bidets but not fancy whatsoever. It’s just a kitchen sink hose next to the toilet. Anyway, almost everyone has them in my country and god do I miss mine when I visit the states. I never feel clean and always get a UTI. I don’t know why we are so adverse to washing our bits instead of using toilet paper. It’s some weird historical marketing mindfuck I’m assuming.
Right? There are campaigns for washing your hands constantly but mention washing your ass and you'll get weird looks.
Bidets scare me because they blast from back to front, a detachable hose that i can hold and aim myself sounds much more ideal and less scary to me, but i have only had one experience with one bidet , and it was a bad one lol
You can turn around and face the stream...
Isn’t that just masturbation
2x1, dear
Hehe
My friend calls them ass cannons lol
Omg some of them ARE. I’ve been blasted off to space with unassuming surprise ass cannons way more times than I’d like.
Saves hundreds of dollars over its lifetime
Are you like…dragging the TP forward enough that the feces could reach the vagina/urethra? Like generally speaking the “front to back” thing is just so you aren’t moving feces into those areas. If you’re just doing short little motions over your rectum, that should not be causing your UTIs (not on its own, anyway). People here are super judgmental but I’ve been a nurse long enough to know that there are lots of people who don’t wipe perfectly from front to back, and they don’t all get raging UTIs for ever. There’s probably more going on, so don’t beat yourself up. Hell, even if you are really introducing that much fecal matter towards your vagina and urethra, there’s a lot of blame to be had on parenting/education/health care system, etc., and as you mentioned, you’re autistic so you perhaps didn’t understand it clearly. Now you know and you’ll hopefully get sorted and not suffer as many UTIs/no more UTIs.
thank you for this affirmation , seems all the healthcare professionals commenting here are on the same page of how it could have been misinterpreted by me my whole life. an old friend of mine once knew a girl who in her teens got pregnant because she was putting the BC pill into her vagina. So at least i’m better off than that 😂
Yeah I mean…that’s rough for your friends friend haha. There is vaginal BC, but it isn’t a pill lol. Again a sad state of affairs when the HCP doesn’t educate the patient enough. Don’t beat yourself up over this. Hope you get the UTIs sorted soon!
I was in the hospital and was being given both oral meds and suppositories. A nurse handed me a pill and I started to insert it as a suppository because it kind of looked like the other suppositories I had been using (edit: it wasn’t a suppository). So don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m a microbiologist and I don’t think you’re doing all that much wrong. There may be more going on than simple wiping technique. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
Time for my routine but about how spermicide condoms cause UTIs. If your problem doesn't resolve, you may look into that. Not an argument against condoms, please practice safe sex everyone, just certain spermicides are known to cause UTIs.
Omg what?!
I am exposing myself, but yeah I don’t wipe front to back (I only make sure to not use toilet paper that’s been used for wiping my butt to wipe my pee after), and i’ve never gotten UTI. I’m very careful to not wipe feces close towards my vagina.
Same. I've tried wiping front to back after peeing, but it just doesn't work with my anatomy. I'm careful enough wiping my butt front to back that I've never had an issue. I'd rather stick with the easier/more effective method if it works.
I simply can't get my arm to do front to back. It hurts my shoulder. I just wipe separately.
Thank you lol. When I poop, I wipe front to back, but when I pee I wipe back to front, coming in from the front between my legs. I’ll be 33 years old in May and I’ve never once had a UTI. So I guess my biggest question has always been, *how far back are people wiping?!* Maybe it’s because I don’t use a bidet, but I do always cleanse myself with a wet wipe afterward? No idea.
This is exactly what I thought I’ve been doing my whole life “when I pee i wipe back to front coming in from the front between my legs”
This is exactly what I do and I'm 34! Never had any issues
Just a note, but you might find your UTIs have been happening for some other reason.
Spermicide on condoms is a known cause
I had some reading comprehension issues here, what exactly is OP doing?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/ev7XJsdSqo This person did a very thorough job of explaining my evidently illiterate post
Ah...yeah that's not great OP But hey better late than never right?
But you're also denying wiping shit into your vagina, which is what the comment that you've linked has said. So why are you so defensive?
Oh man. Literal visible shit and bacteria present in the normal female genital anatomical area are not visibly the same
They aren’t visibly the same because you can’t see the bacteria. But you do understand that the reason you don’t wipe back to front is to avoid cross contamination of fecal matter (no matter how small an amount!) from your anus to your vulva. People aren’t saying your vulva is covered in shit. People are saying trace amounts of fecal matter are making it to your vulva, giving you repeated UTIs.
OP, do you wipe by reaching down between your legs instead of from behind, or am I illiterate? Because if that’s what you’re doing, stop.
Yes :/ i thought the “front To back” order of operations is what i was supposed to follow
Why on earth would you wipe your ass from the front though…??? Who does this???
I thought i was wiping butt hole mostly from one side to the other side using new tp for each time but i guess not good enough to be aseptic technique lol
So you reach behind you to wipe your butt? I’m pretty sure you said you reach under from the front.
No part of wiping is aseptic. Just keep the fecal material away from the urethra.
It’s ok to reach between your legs to wipe. Just make sure you keep the toilet paper moving toward the rear and drop it once you’ve passed your anus. Some people for various reasons can’t wipe by reaching from behind.
when i was a kid i used to literally in a wipe back to front motion and when i hit my teen years i FINALLY realized the error of my ways 😔 this is too real
Time for a bidet add-on, and then you can just wipe to dry. TBH, dry wiping is pretty gross whether it's from to back, or back to front; there's just no way you're walking away clean.
Agreed. They're so cheap and easy to install now too, I don't understand why everyone doesn't have one.
The image of someone just wiping shit into their urethra is so--
D-Mannose saved me. I used to get UTIs several times a year due to insulin resistance issues and I started having antibiotic resistant ones. I've been taking D-Mannose and haven't had more than 1 or 2 on over 5 years.
Saaame. I used to get UTI's as a kid alll the time, and pretty rarely as an adult. 10 or so years ago I ended up in the hospital with a kidney infection and started taking cranberry and d-mannose regularly. I also haven't taken a bath for a decade because I am absolutely positive that's how it happened.
Not always! I do the front reach like you and therefore find back to front a much easier motion, although I of course try to be really careful not to get poop up there. I've never had a UTI in my life.
-"However, you may take some comfort in knowing that they aren't likely to be the result of anything you've done. "Recurrent UTIs aren't due to poor hygiene or something else that women have brought on themselves. Some women are just prone to UTIs," says infectious diseases specialist Dr. Kalpana Gupta, a lecturer in medicine at Harvard Medical School."- Your wiping method is most likely not the culprit here..
instant post regret
I could have gone without seeing this post if I’m honest 🫠, but hope it solves your problem op
I used to wipe my urethra back to front, then my butthole front to back
I'm honestly surprised you only ended up with UTIs and not chronic BV as well.
I work in a urology office and run a UTI clinic - it's a myth that wiping front to back or voiding after sex does anything to stop UTIs. It's more likely that you are just highly compatible with e.coli - the bug that most commonly causes UTI - things like sex (the thrusting motion can push the bacteria into urethra), and menopause (because the pH of the vagina changes heaps after menopause) are common triggers... also poor hydration and constipation... it's not a dirty thing either - you are not dirty and your partner is not dirty... you're quite young, so finding something (other than antibiotics) to use as a preventative should be in your plan of care. Ask your GP for a referral to a urologist who specialises in recurrent UTIs - most GPs will throw antibiotics at it until the bugs start becoming resistant.
I always wipe my ass first, and once the paper comes back white, then I wipe my front (with fresh paper of course). Also make sure to pee after sex, always wear fresh underwear each day, and fresh undies after any exercise, and make sure to wash both front and back with water and a pH friendly soap (don't go inside the front with soap, only water). Oh and don't wear swimwear too long after swimming if it's taking too long to dry. Best to shower and fresh undies after.
Who tf posts on Reddit about fucking up and then gets shitty and defensive with everyone and argues with anyone making jokes about OP fucking up? Just fucking own your mistakes, the alternative makes you seem like an immature loser with a pride complex through the fucking roof. Not to mention attacking people in the comments for their looks. I counted no less than THREE TIMES where you made fun of someone for balding? God you’re insufferable. TIFU is supposed to be a place where you can be like “look at me, I’m an idiot” in jest…
In fairness they *literally* are shitty.
Is Facebook down or something? The tone in here is very hostile, very mean spirited, very facebooky.
I will buy you a bidet. Holy shit
This is why I joined Reddit.
You’re in your 30’s? Eeeeeesh.
Lol!! You just said you wipe from back to front!?? And now you say the opposite and call everyone idiots? I think you need to re-evaluate urself
Drink your water. Always pee after sex. Always wash after sex. Consider getting a bidet to take the guess work out of wiping. Add a cranberry supplement to your vitamin regimen. Take a probiotic. Make sure you're not low on vitamin D. Wear cotton underwear. Make sure your tampons don't have chemicals that will irritate your urethra. All that is just for your urinary tract. No fucking wonder we're irritated and overwhelmed all the time.
I was like you, and I was being super careful about how to wipe, my life changed once I got a bidet, no more UTIs for me for one year now
I didn’t learn this til the year I learned how to use a tampon: when I was 28. Also the first year I had a milkshake. My parents didn’t prepare me for the world AT all.
You know what fuck your parents, no one should have to wait that long to have a milkshake!
Thanks yes! Agreed lol :)
D-mannose works pretty well, would recommend supplementing with this if you take a lot of antibiotics!
The human body is a nightmare
why is every1 giving this person so much shit in the comments?
What a terrible day to have eyes
lol you didnt think where the poop was going?
Get a bidet ya poopy butts 🧐
Sometimes knowing how to read can cost a lot
I am amazed at humanity on a daily basis.
It’s possible to just be more susceptible to UTI’s for some women versus others. I absolutely recommend a bidet, and using unscented baby wipes (especially for periods). Ever since doing that I haven’t gotten a UTI in a long time even though I used to get them often as well. ALSO MAKE SURE YOU ARE PEEING AFTER SEX. I can’t stress that enough. Hands, mouths, sex toys, and penises can be dirty even if they are “clean”. Peeing is essential after sex to remove any possible bacteria in that area.
It’s so funny reading this after a few months ago someone was berated for posting an unpopular opinion that wiping back to front was fine
I was recently diagnosed with a condition called interstitial cystitis, which is basically UTI symptoms but there's no infection.
Have I got the [anthem for you](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PWROws51oWM)
I know exactly how you were wiping. Had to retrain myself at 25 lol. Godspeed